Mystery Science Theater En Masse (MST 'EM): Still Selling Out
"In a screwed up distant future... on the edge of time and space..."
 

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There's only one group who knows that they're on television now... the Neo Esaka. And thanks to this fact, Kyo and Benimaru are certain to take advantage of it. The former wants to push the envelope as far as he can for his amusement, and the latter wants to exploit it so everyone can see how "wonderful" he is. Emi and Keiko want to spread the word to the other three groups, but Kyo and Benimaru want to stop the Tsukino sisters from even reaching one member.

Knowing them, they'll probably fail at that attempt.

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Obligatory Fiction Rating equivalents are underneath, for cautionary purposes once again:
G = K
PG = K+
PG-13 = T
R = M
NC-17 = MA

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M31/C03 - Annie/Jack (Original Erotica Fiction by Ethan Pond)
Can you handle 36 hours of sex? Can you handle 36 hours of sex and a third person? And can you do it all without using birth control or protection? The Neo Esaka members answer all three of those questions with an obvious and resounding "no". But this is badly written erotica! And you all know that badly written erotica doesn't have logic, common sense, or spines!
Fiction's Rating: MA
MST's Rating: M/MA, due to the obvious "envelope pushing".
*Fic's been modified slightly to fit the MSTing's format.*
*Since this is erotica, this fiction will obviously contain sex scenes. Specifically, it's male/female and male/male. Since everything's in explicit detail, take caution. You've been warned, people.*
Read it here!

M32/401 - Tohru's big birthday BASH (Fruits Basket fic by smeplist)
It all started with a terrible orgy that lasted two seconds. Then a baby comes in two minutes. Then there's a giant mess on a talk show. Happy birthday, Tohru Honda. Join Sonic, Kyo L., Kyo K., and Axl as they try to decipher just what the heck is going on. Well, Axl is trying to dechipher it... and he's failing. Then again, that normally happens when you try to apply logic.
Fic's Rating: MA
MST's Rating: M
*Kyo LeMaire (Black Crow) and Kyo Kusanagi (Neo Esaka) are riffing together, so once again, they're referred to as "Kyo L." and "Kyo K."*
*This fic contains badly written sex scenes and language use.*
Read it here!

M33/B12 - New Girl!? (Sonic fic by Tilias)
Welcome to... well, a white space. In this white space, the Black Crow reads about Rina, who is allegedly perfect and allegedly has every power ever. Emphasis is put on "allegedly" due to some reasons... it's told, it's not shown, and it's random. Also, good luck in finding out what she looks like, because the Black Crow riffers never found out, either.
Fic's Rating: K+
MST's Rating: T for slight language.
*Fic's been slightly modified... because the 11th and 13th chapters had bolded blue text, the 12th chapter had bolded text, the 14th chapter had bolded green text, and the 15th chapter had bolded red text. Why the last five chapters turned into such a bigger mess, I will never know.*
Parts: One  Two  Three

M34/A12 - Your Love Life at Work
10 things I can't believe that guys still do by Janelle Harris (Original is [here])
12 Mistakes that End Relationships by Kim Oliver (Original is [here])
8 Compliments Your Man Wants to Hear by Korin Miller (Original is [here])
If this is how dating works nowadays, the Egg Spiral members would not like any part of that. Then again, they're not planning on being stars for any of MTV's, E!'s or VH1's crummy "reality" shows, either. Come join them as they explore the many odd aspects of dating that they probably are familiar with... and don't want to touch.
List's Rating: T for all three.
MST's Rating: T
*Yes, hyperlinks are removed as usual. You know the drill.*
Read it here!

M35/D03 - Why Most Twilight Fans Kinda Suck (All three articles were written by LizzieBella. They may also be Troll posts.)
Why Harry Potter Kinda Sucks (Original is [here])
Bella Swan is a fantastic role model! (Original is [here])
Edward Cullen is the best boyfriend EVER!!!!! (Original is [here])
Remember when "Twilight" was that huge fad that wouldn't go away? Remember when some "Twilight" fans proved that they shouldn't reproduce until they actually matured? Remember when some "Twilight" fans did reproduce before then to everyone's horror? Well, join the elusive Crazy Train members as they look inside the mind of a biased "Twilight" fan. (Spoiler Alert: They did not find any signs of reproduction or working brain cells.)
Article's Ratings: T for all three.
MST's Rating: T for language.
Read it here!

M36/201 - Bloody Moon (Twilight/Naruto/Halo/Attack on Titan Crossover Trollfic by DeadlyVampireGirl)
Yes, you read that correctly. This is indeed a Twilight/Naruto/Halo/Attack on Titan crossover. It's also a poor "My Immortal" clone to boot. Sonia and Manic believe that they can go through this badfic (and the resident Sue's long name and many love interests) without the help of Sonic and Amy. Can they do it without losing their minds and hating each other? Well, maybe.
Fic's Rating: T
MST's Rating: M for language and innuendo. Yes, even the semi-prudish Sonia spouts some of the latter.
*Fic's been slightly modified to fit the MST's format.*
*This fic contains badly written sex scenes and general random crap that's usually found in a trollfic. Oh, and it also contains a brief rape scene in Part Seven.*
Parts: One  Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven  Eight  Nine  Ten

M37/402 - 10 Reasons Women Don't Listen to Men (Original Article; opening and ending paragraphs by Analorena Zeledon; lists by M. Hill, Lenore Edwards, and Julie Spira) (Original is [here])
Let's explore the many reasons why women ignore men. Unfortunately, two of the three lists make it the man's fault. Communication? What's that? Join Amy, Miyu, Benimaru, and James as they sift through these lists.
Article's Rating: T
MST's Rating: T/M
*The entire article isn't an "Epic Failure", but Julie Spira's list of ten definitely is.*
*Hyperlinks have been removed, and some of the items in bold were removed to avoid confusion. To see everything untouched, head to the original article.*
Read it here!

M38/301 - RuSa Drabble (Pokémon Special/Adventures fic by aquakirbyyoshi)
Let's talk about Ruby and Sapphire... through the eyes of an incredibly evil and hypocritical brat named Cammy. The Tsukino Sisters and Mai lose their composure, and they easily show that they cannot stand her, but can they try not to do any bodily harm to Cammy? Jump in and find out... unfortunately.
Fic's Rating: T for language.
MST's Rating: T for language.
*Yeah. It's another "Epic Failure" fic.*
*Some of Emi's riffs reveal some spoilers from the Ruby and Sapphire Chapters, specifically about Ruby and Sapphire's childhood. If you want to read the manga and haven't done so yet, avoid this riffing so you don't get spoiled.*
Read it here!

M39/302 - Sonic High School (Sonic fic by Sonic2598)
"Gangsta" Sonic and "Sonic Battle" Amy enter high school! Periods are missing! OOC messes are at hand! Amy bashing is rampant! Jessie, Cassy, and Rory go ballistic due to redundancy! And they're also hungry! News at Eleven! (Or not!)
Fic's Rating: T
MST's Rating: T for language.
*This fic contains a whole lot of language abuse.*
Read it here!

M40/S05 - The Final Struggle (*Old Shame* King of Fighters *dead*fic by Sony Love) (Original's on the Fanfiction page.)
It was stated that this was the battle that Kyo and his friends never started but were supposed to finish. Unfortunately, another draw of bad luck happens for the legendary Kusanagi heir... he's stuck in limbo at the end of the last finished chapter! Whoops! Join the Neo Esaka and Crazy Train members as they finish the season off with this odd, illogical, and unfinished fic.
Fic's Rating: T
MST's Rating: T
*This is the sequel to "Kusanagi's Wrath" (the fourth special riffed by the Black Crow and the Neo Esaka members). If you want to start from the beginning of the trilogy, jump back to "A Story of Destined Love" (the third special riffed by the Egg Spiral and the Neo Esaka members). The riffing for the first fic is here, and the riffing for the second is here, if you want to refresh your memory or haven't read them yet.*
*The fic's been modified slightly to fit the MST's format. In other words, the redundant "end of chapter" parts have been snipped and the chapter titles lose their italics and are aligned to the left.*
*Just like what happened in the riffings of "A Story of Destined Love" and "Kusanagi's Wrath", there's another exclusive riffed author's note from yours truly.*
*This fic contains some strong language and a few violent scenes, but they're not too extreme.*
Parts: One  Two  Three  Four  Five

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Here are the Obscure References from the Egg Spiral, Black Crow, Neo Esaka, the Crazy Train, and the Riffer Collabs.
Here are the Behind The Scenes for this season.
And here are the Special Obscure References.

"This fic has more holes than an old blanket!" - Benimaru, "Kusanagi's Wrath"
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