Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Special Episode 5: The Final Struggle (Part Two)

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~Chapter Sixteen: Surprise at Sunset~

Rory: I thought we called that a buffet.
Keiko: Or a heart attack.

"All right, Miss Emi... are you ready for another endurance test?"

Benimaru: Another one? We never saw a single one!

"Hai, Kyo-kun." the young heiress called ahead, preparing for her master's flaming assault.

James: Oh, it's flaming, all right.
Kyo: *glares at James* I want to nuke you.

"Okay. This time, I want you to dodge my flames, but don't counter them unless you really need to do that. And Miyuki, you can go for a session after she's done, if that's okay with you."

Axl: Say what? Wait, why couldn't she just plain counter 'em?
Mai: Logic doesn't exist, Axl.

"Sure thing." the sporty girl replied and resumed her stretches.

"Now, get ready!" the heir cried and launched three waves of flames at his pupil.

James: So... what is this, some Super Desperation Move or something?
Keiko: I... guess?
James: Maybe we should quit asking questions with more questions. My head's starting to hurt.

The young heiress smirked and simply rolled out of the way, but she failed to notice that another wave was sailing towards her.

Emi: *sings* Sail away, sail away, sail away...
Everyone else: No, Emi!
Kyo: Just... just stop, please.

"I know you can do better than that! Even Shingo didn't have any problems with this test!" Kyo cried out as he launched a few more waves at Emi.

Axl: Amazing, considering that the boy's probably had some problems his own dang self.

"But that's... because... he's been your pupil... longer than I have... been yours..." she called out as she started to jump over the waves. The Kusanagi heir smiled as soon as he noticed her improving performance.

Benimaru: Which is odd, considering that we never saw her train before...
Emi: Yes, we did!
Benimaru: When?
Emi: "A Story of Destined Love"... Chapter Two... and that's pretty sad when you think about it.
Benimaru: No kidding; all "you" did was slash his arm Wolverine style in that one.

"Good job. Now, see if you can reach me. I feel like doing a bit of hand to hand combat with you!"

Rory: Sounds more like tonsil boxing, eh? Eh?
Mai: Shut up, Rory.
Rory: *grins*

"Hai, Kyo-kun!" Emi called out as she dashed towards him, being cautious of every flaming wave that sailed towards her.

James: Wasn't that stated earlier? I can't remember... or care, for that matter.
Keiko: You never cared to begin with.

"Master Kyo! Please don't go easy on me!" the young heiress said as she launched a Yami Barai at him.

Kyo: "I" never went easy on you anywhere. Why start now?
Emi: But Master Kyo... what about--
Kyo: Don't remind me, Emi. I don't want to see another crappy "love" scene between... "us".

"Who said that I was going to do that?" Kyo said as he jumped over the wave and kicked his pupil in the chest, sending her down to the ground.

Axl: *as Stinkmeaner* Oh, yeah! You just got kicked in your chest!
Everyone else: *slowly scoots away from Axl*
Kyo: Ironic... it's a first that I'm one and the same with my pansified self.

"Miss Emi... the tournament begins in three months. I know you can do better than that. Now give me your best shot!" he continued as she slowly got up, then her fists began to glow with flames.

Mai: Exactly... now hit him with your best shot. And no, I'm not going to sing.
Benimaru: The word "fun" really isn't in your dictionary, is it?
Mai: No, it isn't.

"I'll do my best."

Keiko: Keep in mind that her "best" involves one of the following... actually trying, barely trying, or just giving up and being rape fodder. Unfortunately, it's usually the third option.
Rory: And that's terrible.

the Tsuki heiress silently whispered as she dashed towards him again, being cautious of any defense tactics that he might pull off.

James: Like more chest kicking. You know he didn't bruise her ribs hard enough.

And while the two began to trade blows, Miyuki quietly entered the house to go to the kitchen.

Emi: And details about the actual battle are lost on us. Again.

While she was there, she opened the refrigerator and began to bring out three bottles of water.

Benimaru: One for herself to drink, one for Emi to drink, and one for Kyo to splash all over his chest for the beautiful female fans that he somehow stole from me.
Kyo: *grins* You're just jealous, Beni.

But something stopped her from doing that...

Mai: The sudden end of this fic.

She noticed someone rushing to the backyard, but it wasn't anyone that she knew, so she rushed outside, trying her hardest to reach the training couple.

Axl: And they weren't really training anymore... *plays '70s porn music*
Keiko: That joke's going straight into the ground. Just letting you know that.

"Kyo-chan! Emi-chan! I think I saw another--" she screamed, but then froze when her fear was confirmed.

Emi: Oh, my goodness! Cammy has clones!
Keiko, Mai: No! No, not that!
James: Pfft. Jess and I can just blow them up, too. You ladies have nothing to worry about.

"Yes, I believe you're right, Miyuki. You did see us..."

Rory: The air! It is evil! It speaks to us!

"...What...?" is what the sporty girl whispered as she began to back away, but then she felt a hand cover her mouth, then a free arm was used to snake around her neck.

James: Hope that person doesn't have four arms. A fetish fic could be written with that.
Benimaru: I have no clue what's going on inside your head... and I don't think I want to ask.

"Hello, Miyuki. You may call me Kyo 1.5." the clone whispered into her ear as he let her speak, but she used that chance to scream instead.

Kyo: You may also call him Kyo-3.1, Kyo-98, Kyo-XP, or Kyo-Mistake Edition.
Axl: What about Kyo-8?
Kyo: Nobody liked that version, Spikes.

"Kyo-chan! Emi--" Miyuki cried out, but was immediately silenced with a harsh punch to the stomach. She then coughed a small amount of blood and glared into the eyes of the clone who had just performed that action.

Mai: Somebody has a weak system. You can't cough out blood with one punch to the stomach!
Emi: It's those blood packs again, Miss James.
Mai: Oh, for dramatic effects?
Emi: Terribly done dramatic effects, yes.

"I'm so sorry that I had to do that... but you had left me with no other choice. Now let me introduce myself. You may call me Kyo 2."

Keiko: *as Miyuki* Why can't I call you Kyo-2.5 so you can match with your partner there?
Rory: *as Kyo-2* We ran out of decimals somehow. Now shut up and go with the script.

"You're not the girl that murdered Kyo 1..." Kyo 1.5 said as he gave a closer look at Miyuki. The sporty girl simply closed her eyes and quietly laughed.

James: Why's she laughing? Is she a shapeshifter? Did she kill that other clone?
Axl: Yes! Let's make this fic even more random!

"What's so funny?" Kyo 2 lightly growled, then he froze when he heard a very familiar cry followed by a new one...

Benimaru: I know what it is.
Kyo: What?
Benimaru: The cries of the viewing audience when they found out that "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" was getting renewed for three more seasons.
Kyo: Not only that... you also heard sane people's televisions and computers going out their windows in anger, too. Mine included.
Benimaru: Kyo... you aren't sane.
Kyo: Well, I try to be. Leave me alone.

"Kurai... YAGARE!!"

"Koredemo... KURAYE!!"

"Shit!" the clones cried out as they dodged the twin Orochi Nagi assault, with Kyo 1.5 letting go of Miyuki. The sporty girl jumped over the flames and landed on a nearby car. Unfortunately, she cracked the windshield in the process.

Rory: Hey, how far did she jump back?
Keiko: Those movie style jumps can only do so much, Hancock.

"Damn it! There goes my custom soccer ball!" she growled as she jumped off.

"I'll deal with it, Miyuki." Kyo said, then he directed his attention to the clones.

James: No, he won't. He's probably cheaper than a member of Congress.
Kyo: Oh, bite me, Daniels.
James: Oh? I don't get one of those cute nicknames of yours?
Kyo: *scoffs*

"Kyo 1 and Kyo 2... I thought that you guys were neutralized along with the rest of the clones."

Axl: But by some sheer force of magic... they somehow rose from their proverbial graves!

"Kyo 1 is dead. Some bastard girl murdered him at the Nakamura warehouse." Kyo 2 spat.

Kyo: *confused* Huh?
Emi: So... does that mean...
Benimaru: It's exactly what it means, Emi; Kyo-1 raped your old self in the last fic! And on that note... what the hell kind of plot twist was that?!
Keiko: I don't know... I just don't want to know. It doesn't make any sense, and I'm just going to give up here.

"Then who are you?" Emi quietly asked.

Mai: He looks... like... Kyo. And the real Kyo just said who they were! Do the math, you numbskull!

"I'm called Kyo 1.5.

Rory: Or Kyo-2000, whatever. Guy's like firmware; there's a million names for him.

After what you guys have done to our fallen friend, you will receive no mercy from us. And this includes you and your master, little girl." the clone said and glared into the young girl's eyes.

James: *as Kyo-1.5* And this also includes your little dog, too!
Emi: *giggles* Oh, you're awful.

"This goes over our dead bodies." Miyuki snarled as she gave a menacing glare at the clones.

Kyo: And then they died. The End.
Emi: Um... we have three chapters to riff after this one, Master Kyo.
Kyo: Damn it.

"I don't think you'll pose any threat to us. Just stay out of our way and maybe we won't have to snap your neck." Kyo 2 said and laughed at the sporty girl.

Axl: *rings a boxing bell*
James, Rory: *chanting* Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

"Maybe we'll see about that!" she cried out and tried to rush towards him, but Kyo simply grabbed her arm, causing her to stop.

"You're not ready to face them yet." the Kusanagi heir said as she began to struggle against his grasp.

Mai: This is how we make fics longer. Pay attention, fellow writers.

"That's right, you tell that little wench, Kyo." Kyo 1.5 said and smirked.

Benimaru: Great, now another Kyo clone's using the "wench" word. Are we really stuck in the Middle Ages here?
Emi: *in a tavern maid costume* Of course, Nikaido-san.
Benimaru: *blinks* I'm not going to bother with that, Emi.

"I wouldn't be surprised if she did snap your neck right here and now." the young heir quietly replied.

Kyo: I would. She actually did nothing for the past two fics, so... yeah...

"And you wouldn't be surprised to know that we're nowhere near scared." Kyo 2 said as he and his teammate laughed, causing Miyuki to growl at them.

Mai: *calmly* Quiet down, puppy.
Rory: *snickers*

"I guess it's getting late anyway, so we must head out for now.

Keiko: What, do they have school in the morning or something?
James: Yep. And they have to get back before that curfew sets in.

Oh, and I would suggest being on your guard, Kyo. Master Kusanagi has so many things that he would like to share with you in the near future. So long!" Kyo 1.5 said as the two quickly left... much to Miyuki's dismay.

Rory: But I don't want to wait for the future! What about now?
Kyo: *reads ahead* Hmph. You don't have to wait that much longer, Tech.
Rory: Uh... why are you reading ahead?
Kyo: Because I'm bored.

"Come back, you bastards!" the sporty girl cried out.

Axl: Hey, she just wanted a signed autograph! Could you at least give her that?
Emi: Besides, why can't they just try to kill them now? I mean... Kusanagi knew where everyone was in the first story!
Keiko: The. Logic. Is. Dead.

"Just forget about them right now." Kyo quietly said as he let Miyuki's arm go, then he placed a hand on his forehead.

"Are you okay, Master Kyo?" Emi asked in a state of concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine, sweetie.

James: Kyo Kusanagi called someone "sweetie"? Oh, I think my blood sugar just spiked heavily!

It's just a small headache." the heir said as he entered the house, the heiress was following him along with her best friend.

Benimaru: After all of the crap that he dealt with in the past two fics... he now has a headache? Just... what?!

"Are you going to spend the night with us, Miyuki?"

"Yeah, I guess."

Rory: Threesomes for all!
Mai: *hits Rory with a rolled-up newspaper* Bad Rory!
Rory: *frantically tries to shoo Mai away* Ow, Mai!

"Okay. I'll get Master Kyo to order out while I'll help you set up the bed."

Keiko: Translation: She'll eat more than usual again because it's "cute".
James: Ah, Sue clichés; can't get enough of 'em.
Emi: *eating a sandwich* I'm sorry, you two; I can't help that part of my old self sometimes.
Keiko: Sure it's still a part of your "old self"?
Emi: Well... I managed to drop that awful swearing habit, so there's some progress, little sister.

"Cool." the sporty girl said as she followed her inside...

And that same person was watching them, signaling for the right moment to strike again...

Axl: Criminy, whoever you are! Take a bathroom break or something!

'Master Kusanagi... it's time to control poor Kyo's mind again tonight...'

Benimaru: Do we have to prepare for the "ALL CAPS RAGE" again?
Kyo: No, Beni... and thank god for that. My ears were ringing for a good while after that last set.

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