Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Special Episode 5: The Final Struggle (Part Three)

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~Chapter Seventeen: Relapse~

At an unknown location...

"Master Kusanagi... I'm so sorry."

"For what reason?"

Axl: C. The answer's always C.

"It's because... I have contacted you so late." the spy quietly said, trembling as her superior walked towards her.

"You should've done that anyway."

Emi: This must be the world's most lenient villain.

"But... you know that we did have the chance to kill that Tsuki girl."

"No, we didn't, since that friend of hers was there, and you know that she would ruin everything."

Kyo: Uh... yeah, you did! Jeez, now my clone's dumb as rocks, too?
Keiko: Well, he's a clone of you. Of course he's as dumb as you are.
Kyo: Shut up, Tsukino.

"But... Master Kusanagi--"

"Silence!" Kusanagi growled, his fists were glowing with flames and they were aimed right at her.

"Yes, sir." the spy quickly responded as her superior smirked.

Rory: Yeah, screw common sense and logic! That's for squares and crap!

"You should be thankful that I didn't burn you now... but if you ever try to question me again, you will not be so lucky! Now leave my sight!" the clone screamed as he extinguished his flames.

James: Someone didn't follow the Evil Overlord List. Not good.
Benimaru: What does it say?
James: *reads* Number 17... "When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice."
Benimaru: Oh.

"Yes, Master Kusanagi." the young girl said as she obeyed her superior's command without any hesitation. After she had left, the twisted clone simply smirked to himself.

Rory: *as Kusanagi* Damn, I forgot to tell her to bring me my curly moustache so I can try to be even more evil!

'It's time for you to suffer once again, my favorite little wench...'

Benimaru: More Middle Ages "wench" crap? *sighs* Oh, I give up.

Later that night...

"Okay, Miyuki's channel surfing at the moment, and the takeout should be here in a few minutes." Kyo called to Emi from the bathroom. Afterwards, the young heir quietly sighed to himself as he removed his shirt and slipped on a tank top in place.

Mai: *desperately tries not to blush* Damn it all.
Axl: *grins* Oh, is my sister finally going to defrost today?
Mai: Shut up, Axl.

As he looked at his reflection in the mirror, he began to sense something...

James: It was a magical land full of lovely shapes and colors! Hurry, jump into it!

"It's you..."

Keiko: Can't be any more vague to the new readers, can you?

"It seems that you're not surprised to encounter me again, Kyo."

Emi: That was as surprising as a corny Sci-fi movie.

"That is pretty obvious, fucker." the Kusanagi heir quickly spat.

Rory: Well, hello to you too. Jeez, you need to mellow out with a trip to the Bermuda Triangle or somethin'.

"Heh... I guess my little minions have already told you about keeping your guard up."

Mai: "Little minions"? What, did he have everyone dance on puppet strings, too?
Kyo: Yes. Well... he did it to my pansified self in the last fic... and he'll probably keep doing it here.
Mai: Why?
Kyo: Hell if I know, Gloomy. It's probably padding or some other crap.

"Yes, they did. Now just leave me alone, and I won't have to burn you later."

Emi: So... by that logic, won't you burn your mirror? And your house?
Axl: Logic? That exists here?
Emi: No, not really. But thanks for having hope, I guess.

"Oh no... I'm planning to give you the time of your life tonight...

James: Whoa, save that for the yaoi fangirls, yeah?
Keiko: But that's "selfcest", Daniels.
James: Still has yaoi undertones... I think.

but for now, I guess I might as well leave you to some of your personal issues."

Benimaru: Guess he didn't want to watch him write an elaborate letter with a quill pen or something.

"That's fair enough." Kyo muttered as he left the bathroom, then the doorbell rang.

Rory: Oh, Kusanagi's arrived to murder everyone! This's gonna be so exciting!
Kyo: You are delusional, Tech.
Rory: *scratches his head* I thought it'd be exciting.
Kyo: Oh, you wanted excitement? Yeah, that doesn't exist, either.

"Emi! Are you going to get the door this time?"

"Yes, Master Kyo!" the young heiress called in response.

"Okay, but please don't eat everything before it reaches the table, alright?"

"Alright!" Emi replied as Miyuki came out of the guest room and took her seat next to Kyo in the kitchen.

James: Maybe it's just a dream. Maybe some murderous crazy person can bring some action to us now. I don't know, but I want something.

"Kumebara-chan... you're still holding Emi's invitation?" the Kusanagi heir asked as Emi placed his order in front of him.

Emi: *sighs, pulls out a ball of yarn, knitting needles, and an instruction book* I believe I can begin with this task now.

"Yeah. Man, I'm so excited to take part in this year's KOF! I mean, we get to battle in many places and stay in luxury hotels around the world! Aren't you guys excited?" Miyuki cried out as Kyo simply opened his box of food and sighed.

Benimaru: No.
Kyo: I'm just as excited when I have to constantly hear about that stupid "singer" brat on my news feed over and over again. *grumbles* What joy.

"Miyuki... I only take part in these tournaments because I know that hell's going to break loose one way or another in there. I can't blame you for having a different point of view, though."

Keiko: Sure, some crazy scheme's been the focal point of these tournaments since 1994, but hey, enjoy your complimentary coffin and grave!

"Yes, I know. But it wouldn't hurt to have a bit of fun, eh?"

Mai: Yes, if you want to call the afterlife "fun"...

"Yeah... I guess. So, Emi... did you tell your hell-spawned sister about the tournament yet?"

Rory: Hey, Keiko isn't Bella Swan! She's a little less cranky, you know!
Keiko: *stares at Rory* Yeah, thanks for that.

"I planned to do that after we ate, Master Kyo." the Tsuki heiress replied.

"You might as well do that now, since you're already done, chibi buta. (little pig.)" Miyuki playfully said, causing her best friend to stick her tongue out in response.

James: *confused* What? Did she just... what? Did she eat the box and chopsticks, too? What is this insanity?!
Axl: Do you need an oxygen tank or something?
James: I'm nowhere near dying, you. Quit your worrying.

"I swear, you two will wreak havoc soon enough." Kyo said as Emi left the kitchen, giggling at her master's response as she did so.

Kyo: See, this is why we don't let fangirls enter KOF. They ruin everything.
Benimaru: What are you talking about? Everyone's ruined everything at some point. Hell, you kind of ruined it for someone when you think about it.
Kyo: When?
Benimaru: Let's just say "1996" and leave it at that.

"Hey, now that she's gonna call Keiko, do you think that she'll talk about how she's going to kill you?"

Emi: And there you have it; my sister's officially working for the enemy. You know what we have to do.
Kyo: Yeah, and it's nothing! Let her kill my pansified self!

"That's very obvious, Miyuki." the Kusanagi heir muttered as he continued to talk and eat with the sporty girl.

Axl: *as Kyo* Sure, she's going to find a way to nuke me off of the face of the Earth, but who cares? Let's eat!

As they did so, Emi was in the master bedroom dialing the number to her former home. After a few rings, she heard that familiar voice.

"Hello?"

"Keiko, it's Emi."

"Ah, it's been a while. Is something up?"

Rory: Yeah, a lack of action! That last chapter was a crock of nothing, you know!

"Um... Master Kyo and I have received invitations to the next King of Fighters tournament."

"Oh, so you want me to be your teammate then?"

"That's right."

Mai: Is she the only person who can put two and two together in this fic universe?
Emi: Kind of, yes.

"That's so kind of you, sister. I'll just seize the chance to slash that Kusanagi baka in half at the tournament." Keiko said as Emi sweatdropped.

Emi: On second thought... I think I'll take that back.
Keiko: I don't even know why my old self was... Mileena.

"No, Keiko... this is very serious. I mean, Master Kyo predicted that Kusanagi is behind all of this, and now his servants want your head for killing that clone a while ago."

"Then they might as well suffer the same fate if they intend to extract revenge on me."

James: I think she needs a monocle for that line.
Mai: And I need a red pen for it, too. They're supposed to exact revenge.

"Heh, that's my angry little sister. Oh, and by the way, can you meet us here before the tournament begins?"

"I might as well come tomorrow and train with you guys."

Rory: Well, that's before the tournament! You get an "A" for effort! Way to go!

"Sounds fair. And just make sure that any murder attempts on Master Kyo will ultimately fail." Emi said and laughed.

Benimaru: That was as funny as reading an obituary.

"Yeah, whatever. Listen, I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay. Good night, sister."

"Same to you." the samurai heiress said before she hung up, and Emi did the same, smiling in the process.

Kyo: *as Emi* Oh, my murderous little sister! How I love her!
Emi: *stares at Kyo*
Kyo: Yeah, I did it. I'm partially ashamed... but you knew that was coming.

"So, did I interrupt your little reunion?" Kyo said as he entered the room and closed the door behind him.

"No, I just finished speaking to her."

"Oh, okay. And by the way, Miyuki's back in the guest room." the young heir said, then he placed a hand on his forehead once again.

Rory: I sense a callback from the last chapter! Will we have action? Will we?
Axl: Yeah, we'll have action in this fic... when Stephenie Meyer accepts criticism for her own crappy fanfics.

"Um, Master Kyo... are you okay? You have been acting pretty strange tonight..."

Benimaru: No, he hasn't.

the Tsuki heiress whispered as she walked up to him and began to place a hand on his shoulder, but it was grabbed in a split second.

Benimaru: Okay, now he's acting weird.

"What the--"

"It's time to suffer once again, little wench..." is what the now controlled Kyo said in a menacing tone as he pinned the frightened Emi to the bed and gave her a sadistic smile during the entire process.

Axl, James, Rory: Yes! Finally!
Mai: Oh, don't mind them; they've been pretty action deprived, as you all have noticed.
Kyo, Benimaru, Emi, Keiko: Can't blame them.

"You coward... you hope to attain victory by using my master's body?"

Kyo: Uh... sure, why not? Make it a little interesting!

"That's not what I had in mind at all. My decision was to simply humiliate you while I am in this current state."

Emi: Define "humiliation".
Rory: And define "current state".
Everyone else: *facepalms*
Emi: Mr. Hancock, that's exactly what it means.
Rory: Oh. Oh, yeah.

"No... you won't!"

"Just watch me, little girl..." the twisted clone said and smirked as he used the young heir's body to rip a shred of her clothing off. Afterwards, the young heiress began to struggle against his tight hold.

James: Um... when I asked for action, I didn't request a sexual assault to go with it.
Keiko: Unfortunately, that's what we had to deal with in the last two fics.

"I guess I won't be able to stick around for your sick enjoyment, Kusanagi..." Emi quietly whispered as she lightly smiled and performed an overhead throw.

Benimaru: Holy crap, she finally gained the ability to fight back! Everyone, let's throw confetti!

Then she jumped over the bed and quickly left the room, calling for her best friend as she ran through the hallway. As soon as she turned around, she came face to face with that familiar gaze of blood red eyes locking onto her own.

Mai: I guess we're in a giant horror movie mansion now. How long is that hallway?
Axl: Long enough to install a bowling alley.

"Are you going somewhere, little wench?"

Keiko: Probably to the center of the Earth. But who cares, really?

"No... but you will." the Tsuki heiress said and smirked as she saw Miyuki pin the controlled Kyo to the floor.

Rory: Hey, I just realized something.
Kyo: Yes, Tech; two plus two does equal four.
Rory: Hey, shut up. Anyway, about that spy girl from earlier... is this what she was trying to tell that clone guy earlier? You know, about that Miyuki person getting in the way?
Kyo: I'm a bit shocked that you found a glaring error. And since that just happened... I'm going to get a telescope and look at Pluto being swallowed up by a black hole after this.

"Hah... didn't know that I could pin the Kusanagi heir so easily, eh?"

Benimaru: Well, he has the power of a wet noodle. Anybody can pin him down in two seconds flat.

"Maybe... and Miyuki... you're about to break my freaking arm in two!"

Emi: Oh? No swearing? Isn't that a surprise!
Keiko: He's probably still possessed.
Emi: *snickers*

"Kyo?! I'm so sorry!" the sporty girl cried out as she let go of the young heir's arm, then she helped him rise to his feet.

James: No, you're not. Break him again!

"Shit... I never knew that he could actually control me..."

Kyo: *sputters* You -- oh, my god! Why am I so dumb in this thing?!
Everyone else: Look in the mirror.
Kyo: You all can go to Hell!

"Maybe he's just giving us his own personal invitation." Miyuki quietly muttered.

"So... he really wants us to participate in this tournament.

Mai: I think she just said that a sentence ago! Get with the program, you dolt!

But for now, we can just rest and straighten out this mess later." Kyo said as he began to head back to his room, the girls were hot on his heels.

Axl: Yes, he nearly raped his own girlfriend... involuntarily. But who cares? Let's just sleep it off!

"Alright. I'll see you in the morning, Miyuki." Emi said as she hugged her best friend.

"Same to you, Emi." the sporty girl said and smiled as she returned the friendly affection before retiring to their rooms for the night...

Rory: No? We don't get any chance of a--
Mai: *repeatedly hits Rory with her rolled-up newspaper* No! No! Bad Rory!
Rory: *tries to deflect Mai's newspaper hits* Ow, Mai! Stop it, Mai! I wasn't even implying that! Mai!

And Kusanagi simply smirked as he gave one last glimpse at his enemies before he vanished into the night...

'I'm ready to give you the surprise of your life, Miss Emi...'

James: But I thought you already did that! What is this madness?!
Emi: And why couldn't he just enter the house, possess Master Kyo, and do a crazy two versus one of some sort?
Benimaru: Yeah, nobody wants to listen to the logical people. And considering this chapter, the people in the universe are ignored, too.
Kyo: Oh, well. We're screwed.
Emi, Keiko: Yep.

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