Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Special Episode 5: The Final Struggle (Part Four)

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~Chapter Eighteen: Kyo's Frustration~

Kyo: I know my frustration; I'm stuck in this seat, riffing on the trilogy that doesn't end.
Benimaru: It ends after the next chapter, Kyo.
Kyo: Still a long way away, Beni.

"Miss Emi... are you awake?"

"Yes, Master Kyo."

"You know that we must get up now."

Rory: The ghosts! They speak to us! Voices with no bodies!
Keiko: Oh, calm down, Hancock.

"But I don't want to get up." the young heiress moaned as she pressed her head to her master's chest, then she softly laughed as he kissed her forehead.

James: This scene has more cheese than a bag of mozzarella.

"You stubborn girl..." Kyo quietly said and smirked as he pushed his young pupil out of the bed.

Mai: Yes, nothing speaks volumes about your love like shoving your significant other out of the bed that you share with her.
Axl: *pretends to wipe a tear away* It's so touching!

"Hey! That's not fair..."

"Yes, it is. You started it, so it was only fair that I finished... and are you sleeping on the floor?"

"Yes, Master Kyo." Emi murmured as she rolled over so that she was now on her back, taking the bedsheets with her.

Emi: *flatly* The humor.

"You're getting pretty lazy today. Come on, I bet you that Kumebara-chan is--"

Kyo: *as himself* ...probably dead.

"Already awake? Yes, I am. Oh, and breakfast is on the table." the sporty girl said, causing her best friend to run out of the room.

Kyo: Damn it.
James: And when did she gain the ability to make breakfast, huh?
Benimaru: Must've been from the future. You know, take some food pellets and add water to them.
Emi: Oh, if only that was true...

"She's such a handful." the Kusanagi heir muttered as Miyuki lightly blushed.

"Yeah... and put some clothes on. I don't think I can look at you without a shirt on anymore."

Emi, Mai: *quickly raises their hands* I can!
Everyone else: *looks at Emi and Mai*
Emi, Mai: *laughing nervously*
Kyo: Yeah... Emi was pretty obvious about this stuff... but now you have this odd thing for me, Gloomy?
Mai: Um... *coughs* It's nothing, really.
Axl, James, Rory: Uh-huh!
Mai: Oh, shut it.

"Then stop looking and get out." Kyo said and smiled as the sporty girl returned the friendly affection and left him.

Later that afternoon...

Kyo and Keiko have just decided to spar against one another in the Kusanagi heir's backyard. Technically, Kyo didn't want to fight the samurai heiress, since she forced him to spar with her.

Benimaru: Besides, why does he need to nuke one of two people who can basically hold their own against Kusanagi?
Rory: Because... *looks at a random moth* Ooh, it's a moth!
Benimaru: *confused* Uh... yeah...

"Ah, Tsuki-sama. You don't have your weapons with you today, huh?"

James: Of course not; you actually need to be in one piece for the rest of this fic. It's very sad, but it's also very true.

"No, I don't... but my birds can cause just as much damage. I'll just slice you in half in the Revolution tournament."

"Yeah... that's really... thoughtful of you." Kyo said as he sweatdropped, then he began to ignite a flame in the palm of his hand.

Axl: Yes, nothing says that you love that special someone like cutting them in half.
Keiko: Yeah, it's pretty wonderful, isn't it?

"Are you ready?"

"Yes, I am. I'm ready to kill you, Kyo Kusanagi."

Emi: Oh, my! Kusanagi's possessed her now! What is going on here?
Kyo: Filler crap. That's what's going on.

"But you said that you'd kill me at the tournament." the heir said as he smirked, causing his sparring partner to scowl at him.

"Oh, shut up."

Mai: Oh, now he can find the missing logic? Looks like his brain's working properly.
Keiko: For once, ironically.
Kyo: *grumbles*

"Heh. Ikuze, Tsuki-sama."

"It's about time!" Keiko cried out as she lunged towards the heir, attempting to slash him with her hands.

Rory: So... does she have switchblades in her fingers or something?
Mai: Oh, that's something I don't want to see.

Kyo simply smirked as he dodged every attempted strike.

"Come on, I know you can do better than that!"

James: So many planned innuendos. I don't know where to start!
Axl: How about you don't start?
James: How 'bout no?

"Yes, that's true! Keimi! Go!" the samurai heiress cried out as Keimi charged full speed towards her sparring partner.

"Do you think that I'm going to be slaughtered by that?" Kyo said as he leaped over the bird and was ready to kick Keiko in the chest, but he failed to notice something...

Keiko: ...his brain.
Kyo: *sighs heavily*
Benimaru: And why does your fic self enjoy kicking girls in the chest, Kyo?
Kyo: I don't know. And the thought of that makes me cringe a lot.

"Keimi... Attack from behind..." the samurai heiress whispered as her bird performed a swift U-turn, striking Kyo's back with precise speed.

"Unchi! (Shit!)" the heir cried out as he painfully landed on his back, blood was beginning to seep from the new wound.

Emi: *in a nurse's outfit* Miss James?
Mai: *also in a nurse's outfit* Yes?
Emi: Shall we assist Master Kyo?
Mai: Ooh, yes.
Everyone else: *shaking their heads*

"Kyo, Kyo, Kyo... you're not going to submit to me... are you?"

Keiko: *smirks at Kyo*
Kyo: Oh, shove it.

"...Kesshite... kesshite! (...Never... never!)"

"Then bring it on!"

"Hosoi! (Fine!)" Kyo cried out as he ignored the pain and struggled to maintain his balance.

Benimaru: What determination! *mutters* Too bad he didn't do that in the last fic.

"Mmm... you're tougher than I thought."

"Damn straight! Now, you're about to get a sample of my flames!"

Axl: For the full set of flames, you may need to pay five American dollars... or 500 Japanese Yen.
Emi: Close, Mr. James; when you round it out... it's 411 Japanese Yen.
Axl: Cool.

"Show me what you've got!"

"You'll regret this!" Kyo screamed out as he performed a barrage of flaming fists that the samurai heiress had a slight problem dodging.

"Heh... burned yet?"

Mai: I don't know, but you can bring my body temperature up a few degrees.
Keiko: Yeah. Thanks, Mai.

"No..." Keiko whispered as she launched a near-fatal error that Kyo easily noticed.

James: The error was comprised of a series of ones and zeroes.

"You will be now!" the young heir screamed as he powered up his trademark technique...

"Kurai... YAGARE!!"

"No!!!" Keiko screamed as she felt the powerful flames from his Orochi Nagi tear through her body, then she remained still after she hit the ground and they slowly died down.

Rory: So... I looked at the other fics... and that's the only super that he's using! Why's he stuck using that one?
Axl: Because it's still 1994.
Rory: *laughing*

"Tsuki-sama... you've fought well." Kyo whispered as he kneeled down and picked her up, then after a few minutes, the samurai heiress slowly opened her eyes.

Kyo: What fight? I didn't see any fight!
James: You aren't seeing a plot, either.

"Oh..."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Um... thanks, Kyo. I... never knew you cared."

"Hey, we may fight a lot, but the last thing that I want to do is turn you into a living piece of charcoal." Kyo said as his sparring partner gave him a weak smile as he entered the house.

Benimaru: Am I watching PBS now? Is this "Sesame Street"?
Everyone else: Yes... and yes.

"Ah, Kyo! So, how was your..." Miyuki said, then she trailed off as soon as she noticed their current conditions.

"Kumebara-chan..."

Mai: Who's talking?
Keiko: The invisible man that lives under my bed.

"Oh, don't worry. I can get you two cleaned up in no time at all. Hmm... Kyo, just head on over to your room for now."

"But what about Tsuki-sama?"

"She can relax in the guest room for now. Keiko, are you sure you're okay?"

All: No.

"Yeah." the samurai heiress said as she slowly walked away to her destination.

"Okay, come with me, Kusanagi-san." Miyuki started, taking the heir's hand into her own.

"Um, Miyuki... I think I can find my own room. This is my house, after all." he said as he entered his room with his sporty friend.

"Yeah, yeah. I guess it's that nasty wound that messed you up."

Emi: The same goes for the repitition, unfortunately.

"How... did you know about that?" Kyo asked as he sat on the bed.

Axl: Keiko sliced your damn back open with her bird! How could Miyuki not notice that, you idiot?!
James: That's why he dropped out of high school. He failed logic, too.
Kyo: *speaking through clenched teeth* I'm going to kill you later, Daniels.
James: *smirks* Sounds exciting.

"I noticed your blood on the floor when you entered with Keiko." Miyuki said as she began to treat his wound. The young heir quietly hissed in pain as she slowly wiped the blood away with a wet cloth, then she carefully bandaged it.

Mai: *shaking her head* He hit the ground. His back was bleeding. And you don't want to clean the wound? Are you kidding me?
Benimaru: Enjoy your horribly disgusting infection, "Kyo".
James: Kyo-ME, ladies and gents.

"Hey, thanks." he said as he got up.

"Kyo... where are you going?" the sporty girl asked as he put on a clean shirt and jacket.

"I'm going to have a bit of time to myself. I'll see you later." Kyo said as he left the house and sped away on his motorcycle.

Rory: I hope he's going to the freakin' hospital.
Emi: Good is dumb, Mr. Hancock. He's not going there.

'I knew it, the tournament is stressing him out. I should tell Emi about this...'

Kyo: It... is? I couldn't tell that it was stressing "me" out... because everyone has the personality of a damn brick here.

Later that evening...

Emi quietly entered the bar that Miyuki had just mentioned to her.

Emi: Which was located in Magical Land. And what's the name of the bar? And if my former self was supposed to be seventeen, how did "I" manage to get into the bar in the first place?
Axl: So... many... questions. I'm confused!

The young heiress slowly wandered around for a little while until she sat on one of the bar stools.

"Um, excuse me..." she said in a shy tone, catching the attention of the bartender that was currently working.

"Yes?"

"I'm looking for someone... um, Kusanagi Kyo, to be exact. Is he around here?"

Benimaru: He's most likely contemplating his role in this crazy trilogy. And if he gets the chance, he's going to run out of there with Sonic's speed.

"Yeah, I just saw him enter the pool hall not too long ago."

"Oh, thank you." Emi said as she stood up and calmly walked off. As soon as she was out of sight, the young woman quietly smirked to herself.

'Master Kusanagi... may I introduce myself to them?'

'Not yet. Just wait until they leave...'

Kyo: Well... shit... we just can't have any surprises, huh? Just--
Emi: *pats Kyo's back* Please calm down, Master Kyo. I'm sure that you don't want to deal with another migraine.

Meanwhile, as the young heir finished his round, he immediately noticed his pupil.

Mai: I'm guessing that he must have been playing with one of his clones.

"Emi... what are you doing here?"

Keiko: She's practically a bloodhound.
Rory: But she's not sniffing blood.
Axl, Rory: *as Mordecai and Rigby* Whooooooa!

"Miyuki told me that you'd be here. She told me that the tournament was stressing you out." the Tsuki heiress said as she ran up to him and hugged him... but he was still a bit weak from his sparring match.

Benimaru: What stress? I didn't see any stress!
James: If you can find the stress, you'll probably find Kim Kardashian's real arse. Good luck.

"Chikushou, Emi! (Damn, Emi!)" Kyo cried out, causing his lover to let go.

"What's the matter?"

"Your sister gave me a nasty cut, and it's on my back. So please, can you be a little more careful?"

Axl: She practically made that wound fresh again. Yeah, she was certainly being "careful".

"Yes, Master Kyo. I'm sorry."

"It's okay." the Kusanagi heir whispered as he pulled his pupil into a deep and loving kiss, softly stroking her long hair in the process.

Emi: Can I call upon the mighty power of cheese now?
Mai: *now holding a cheese tray* Yes, you can.
Emi: *takes a few pieces of cheese from the tray* Thank you very much, Miss James.
Mai: Mm-hmm.

"You know that it's getting late... so can we go home now?"

Kyo: I didn't know that it was getting late. What time is it in the fic right now?
Keiko: Half past nothing, Kusanagi.

"Sure. I must've scared the mess out of you, huh?"

Benimaru: If you did, we wouldn't have a fic, I guess.

"You have no idea, Master Kyo..." Emi whispered as she held onto his arm, softly smiling as her master opened the door and the two began to leave, but that would soon be halted by...

Rory: ...a traffic light!

"Heh... going somewhere, Kyo?"

Rory: Oh, so it's a ghost?
Kyo: That would probably be a lot more interesting, Tech.

"Oh, great. What do you want now?" the Kusanagi heir said as soon as he noticed his clone.

James: He wants to play cards with you. Oh, what the hell do you think, you git?

"I just want to give you a little something to expect in the near future. Maybe if your team can survive in the tournament, you can do battle with one of my favorite people."

"What are you talking about?" Emi quietly asked.

Axl: Okay, which celebrity did he bribe?
Benimaru: Lindsay Lohan. That poor soul is desperate for some cash at the moment.

"Maybe I'll just cut to the chase. Miss Emi..." Kusanagi said, pointing a flaming finger at her in the process.

James: So... he did this? *sticks up his middle finger* Because that's making no sort of sense to me at the moment.
Emi: Mr. Daniels!
James: What? I'd light it on fire, but I'm not stupid.

"She's my lover, my spy, and she's your clone."

Keiko: Wait... what?!
Mai: You have got to be kidding me.

"You've got to be kidding me."

Everyone except Mai: *looks at Mai in confusion*
Mai: I'm scared now.

"I'm afraid that he's not lying to you, little girl. My master and I greatly apologize for this rude meeting, but I didn't want to wait until the tournament to introduce myself. You may call me Tsuki." the young girl said and politely bowed.

Emi: *flatly* How original.
Kyo: It's as original as a boy band, Emi.
Axl: One Dimension!

"Is that all? You're wasting my time right now." Kyo growled.

All: Quiet down, puppy!

"I would burn that smart mouth of yours off of that pretty boy face... but there probably wouldn't be any fun in that."

Rory: *sighs* Man, this sucks! Manic's group got to see a fight scene, Cassy's group got to see a fight scene, and what do we get? Nothing!
Axl: This fic is like an instant messenger program... it has nothing but words.

"Damn straight. You'd be a piece of living charcoal before you'd even touch me."

"My, aren't we full of shit right now..."

Benimaru: You just said those words to someone who is a tiny bit... let's just say... unstable. I hope you're prepared for what may be coming to you in a few moments.

"Maro oroka mesuinu! (You stupid bitch!)" the Kusanagi heir screamed as he launched a deadly wave of flames at his lover's clone, then he promptly hopped onto his motorcycle, bringing the young heiress with him.

Benimaru: I warned you. Nobody wants to listen to common sense anymore.

"I guess I don't have time to play with you fuckers tonight." he continued as he sped off into the night, leaving his clone and a very frustrated Tsuki behind.

James: And who should be at fault, huh? It's obviously you, young clone lady.
Keiko: No, it's not; it's a fic without logic. Anyone can be blamed here.

"Someday... you will pay for this, Kyo Kusanagi!" the female clone screamed, hoping that he would hear her deadly warning...

Axl: *as Tsuki* And next, Captain Planet will pay!
Emi: *laughs* Oh, my goodness!
Rory: Guys, are we even going to have any action or fighting at all here?
Mai: No. And stop trying to find it, Rory.
Rory: *groans in disappointment*

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