Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Special Episode 3: A Story of Destined Love (Part One)

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Warning: This fic contains the following:

-Strong language (in Parts Three-Five)
-A sex scene (in Part Four)
-A rape scene (in Part Five)

Proceed with caution.

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Honestly, I don't know what the heck I was on when I wrote this fic.

Kyo: Yes, you do; you were on hormones and smack.
Emi: Master Kyo!

All I remember was that I had a very illogical hatred of a certain non-playable character in the main series just because she was the girlfriend of a character that I liked.

Keiko: Translation: You fangirled.
Manic: Yep, there's nothing that a little "Grrrl Powah!" can't fix!
Amy: You haven't read the fic, huh?
Manic: You mean... there's no "Grrrl Powah!"?
Amy: In the fic? No, Manic.
Manic: Darn.

And if I could go back in time, I would definitely hit myself.

Sonia: Well, you can certainly hit yourself now... and you can continue to do that. Your past demons are talking...

But, since time machines don't exist, we're going to have to put up with the fact that this silliness that I once called a fic is still here.

Benimaru: Yes, a wondrous reminder of your writing misfortunes can certainly continue to crop up.
Keiko: Well, look on the bright side; we're not riffing Streets--
Benimaru: *chuckling nervously* Um, I don't think the author would like that little tumor to come up again, Keiko.

Long story short, it sucked, and it's getting sporked. Enjoy, fellow readers and riffers.

Sonic: And who wants to bet that the readers will enjoy our possible misfortune?
Everyone else: *raises their hands*
Sonic: Well, then.

~Introduction: Emi's Sweet Savior~

Sonic: What the heck?
Kyo: That sounds like a bad dessert that you named, Emi.
Emi: *sighs* I'm a little more scared that I have to go back into the past.
Kyo: *holds her hand* Oh, trust me... you're not going to be alone in this one.
Emi: *blushes a little* Thank you, Master Kyo.
Sonia, Keiko: *stares*

'It's 11:00... time to close up for the night...' is what the seventeen year old Emi Tsuki thought to herself, sighing as she counted the last rolls of yen before locking up and heading home.

Manic: "Emi Tsuki"? That was your old name?
Emi: *shyly nods*
Manic: Sounds like a weird drink... or a pornstar's name.

Well, to her, working part-time at a convience shop wasn't much, it was worth it every once in a while, and sometimes, it was a bit boring, being the only one working at the time.

Keiko: So, many, commas.

The only comfort from Emi's boredom there is when her friends arrive. Even her sister Keiko kept her occupied at times.

Amy: Hey! Why's she working at the age of seventeen? I thought that high school students in Japan weren't allowed to do that!
Benimaru: If you're going to complain about that, you won't like the rest of this fic, Amy.

And that was during the afternoons. Now all she cared about was going home and hitting that soft bed...

Sonia: ...with Kyo.

and maybe dream about guys that she liked...

Sonia: ...like Kyo.

oh well, there will be plenty of time for that, she thought.

Sonic: Yes, there would be plenty of time. Three fics worth, actually!

'Huh, I don't have enough yen to catch the bus home... I guess walking won't be much of a problem...' Emi thought, taking in a deep breath before hitting the road.

Kyo: Dumbest. Thought. Ever!

She didn't think about any potential dangers for a while...

Keiko: No surprise, she doesn't think. Sorry, big sister.

Until she felt a painful strike that successfully targeted her head...

The young girl groaned and tried to get up, but instead, she was being picked up. But where was she going?

Manic: *in a deep voice* To Hell!

Afterwards, she was being carried into a dark alley, set down on cold ground and tried to listen to her attacker, but failed. She was still trying to clear her head of the dizziness from that blow.

Emi: *holding a straw* I know. Besides, wasn't that cocaine good, old me?

She felt something... his hands were focused at her neck,

Amy: Uh... we weren't told that her captor was a male earlier. Why are we getting this now?
Sonia: Because it's instant unnecessary news.

lifting her up in a cruel manner. Emi's sudden coughs and sputters only made it worse and the grip on her neck tightened. Now the girl coughed blood out, and she was afraid for her own life.

Sonic: Wow, she really has a crappy body or something.
Kyo: Maybe she has a hidden pack of fake blood in her throat. God knows what else she's swallowed, and--
Everyone else: Kyo!

She cried out and struggled, but then she noticed something...

Benimaru: My goodness, her purse of plot conveniences fell to the ground!
Manic: Holy random thought, Batman!

'My flames... I can't control them properly... why are they here...?'

Keiko: Got that purse, Nikaido?
Benimaru: I wish, Keiko. Imagine what would happen with all of those clichéd fics.

After her short burst of freedom, she was pressed to the hard concrete ground and was slashed twice. She yelped when the knife swiped her cheek, but cried out when it slashed her stomach roughly.

Emi: Uh... where did the knife come from...?
Kyo: "His" butt.

'That's it, I'm done for...' she thought, but then she noticed a flash of light, followed by the sound of footsteps that gradually became louder with every passing second.

Amy: Oh... we're extremely sorry; that's not your savior... that's the grim reaper!

"Huh..." is what the voice said, kneeling down and took a good look...

'Wha... what's a girl doing here...?'

Sonia: Because as you all know, girls suck, and blah, blah, blah!
Manic: *sarcastically* That's why they need to stay in that kitchen. They needs to be makin' me a sandwich!
Keiko: *points her katana at Manic* At least I can tell that you were joking.
Manic: *laughs nervously* Y-yeah. You're not going to cut me, are you?
Keiko: *sheathing her katana* No, I'm not going to do that.
Manic: Thank god for that, man.

Then that person took yet another look and noticed a knife... aimed right at her chest!

Sonic: Tune in tomorrow to see if Kyo knocks it out! Same Hero Team time, same Hero Team channel!

After launching a strong kick to knock the knife out of the assailant's hands, both fighters got up, and Emi tried to crawl to a safe spot.

Benimaru: Which was inside a dumpster. Shortly after, she realized that it wasn't a smart move when she discovered that the wound was infected from a possible tetanus strain.
Everyone else: *gagging*
Kyo: Christ, Beni! What have you been reading?!
Benimaru: *sternly* Cold, hard facts.

She took a good look at her attacker, then directed her attention to the person who had just saved her life. Thanks to the flame that was glowing, she had an advantage to look at that face... but lost it because her vision was slowly fading.

Emi: *as herself* Blasted cataracts.

"Please help me, whoever you are!" Emi cried as tears streamed down her face.

Sonia: And that was enough for somebody to take a shower in them.

She could tell that it was clearly a male... and not much else. And she was really interested in seeing what this guy can do.

Amy: You're basically dying! Who cares about what he can do?!

Of course, he didn't hesitate to attack, dodging the crazed assailaint's knife slashes and countering with flaming punches and quick kicks. Emi blushed lightly after thinking that he was kinda cute... but then her pain cut off that thought.

Kyo: *rolls his eyes* No, really? I thought that the magical plot fairy would sew up her wounds so she could continue to lust over my fic counterpart.

"Isogu koto! (Hurry!)" she screamed again, clutching her stomach and coughing blood out.

Keiko: There goes that blood pack again.
Benimaru: Something tells me that the author must have enjoyed a little too much "Kill Bill: Vol. 1".
Sonic: Uh... is that translation correct?
Kyo, Benimaru, Emi, Keiko: Nope.
Sonic: Oh. Well, thanks.

'Damn...' the young man thought and decided that he had to end this battle. And with a bone-crushing cry,

Manic: Hey, somebody scream at my leg! I want to see if it shatters!
Emi: You're going to have to ask Sindel to do that.

he rushed to the assailant, picked him up with one hand, and released him... painfully. Emi watched in awe as her attacker was now engulfed in powerful flames that quickly died out.

Sonia: I hope that's the only use of the word "powerful" in this fic.
Keiko: And why is that?
Sonia: Trust me, you don't want to know.

'Hmph... typical idiots...'

Kyo: Damn, am I that dumb? I don't know how to do simple math?!
Everyone else: You would know if you didn't drop--
Kyo: *irritated* At least I got through Kindergarten and learned how to count, you idiots!

he thought and directed his attention to a wounded Emi. Thanks to his flaming fists, it didn't take him that long to find her.

Amy: Of course! His fists are faaabulous!
Benimaru: *stares at Amy*
Amy: What's the matter?
Benimaru: Nothing. Never mind.

"Oh my god.." he mumbled after he took a good look at her.

Sonic: Because that's the only look they can ever have. A good look.

The young girl coughed a small amount of blood out and she touched his cheek lightly while giving a very faint smile.

Benimaru: Crap, her blood pack's running out! Somebody replace it!

"Thank you very much... but... you have to help me..." she said in a barely audible voice while revealing her nasty wound. He nodded and picked her up with very little effort.

Emi: I've heard the term "light as a feather" before, but... wow.
Manic: Was helium a part of your former diet?
Emi: *laughs a little* I guess.

'Oh my... he's tough and gentle at the right times...' Emi thought and held onto him tightly as he ran through the streets.

Sonia: *woodenly* No, this doesn't sound like a future sex scene at all! Why do you ask?
Keiko: Uh, did they exit the alley... or did they teleport?
Sonia: I'm guessing that it's the latter.

"Please... hurry..." she said as he looked into her dark eyes.

Sonic: Sure beats "forest green with a lovely almond eye shape", that's for damn sure.
Kyo: What?
Sonic: Never mind.

"I'll try... just hang on, okay?" he responded as she moaned and coughed violently.

Amy: Great. There goes her lung.
Benimaru: Yes, and nothing beats exaggerating that injury for sexy points.

'Chikusho! (Damn it!)'

Keiko: Close, but no cigar, author; the word you're looking for is "Shimatta". Thanks for playing.

After a few minutes of what seemed like forever with this man, Emi slowly lost consiousness...

Manic: Why does this sound like some odd harlequin romance novel?
Emi: *hides a book behind her back* What was that, Mr. Manic?
Manic: *raises an eyebrow* Uh... huh.

'Thank you, my sweet savior... I'll never forget what you've done, and I hope that I can see you again...'

Sonic: *eating some cheese pieces* Delicious cheese... figuratively and literally.

~Chapter One: Unpeaceful Morning~

Kyo: It got even worse when a certain someone gave me one of those stupid alarm clocks that runs away from you!
Benimaru: *grins* Happy birthday, Kyo!

"Emi? Emi! Are you up yet?"

The Tsuki heiress opened her eyes slowly, looked around her surroundings, and stared at her sister Keiko.

"Oh my goodness..." she mumbled and was full of regret from the events that had occurred last night.

Sonic: *as Emi* Yes, I regret that I couldn't do a blasted thing beyond my control. Jeez, I suck.

"Hey ane oneesan (older sister), don't strain yourself."

Thank goodness she was lucky enough to be in the hospital when her life was slipping away... but who was that man anyway?

Everyone except Kyo: *points at Kyo*
Kyo: *deadpan* Hello, I'm Kyo Kusanagi...

"Hey, Keiko..."

"Yeah?"

"Do you know of a man... that can launch crimson flames...?"

Everyone except Kyo: *continues to point at Kyo*
Kyo: Hey, you're also missing a few other guys... like K'... and... *coughs* my clones that can form a baseball team.

That simply startled Keiko... obviously, she must've heard of him...

"Emi... you mean... that the Kyo Kusanagi saved your freaking life?!"

Manic: Conclusions, ma'am. Conclusions.
Benimaru: No, that's the plot purse again.

"That was him? Huh. No wonder he looked kinda cute to me..."

Emi: *stuttering* Wha -- why, old me? Why?
Amy: *pats Emi on the back* Hey, don't worry; we've all had our characters derailed to one point or another...
Emi: Um, thanks, Miss Rose. I think you're starting to hurt me.
Amy: *now hitting Emi's back, gritting her teeth* Yes, it's been derailed to the point where you couldn't do anything when you're being overshadowed by someone who is completely useless, and--
Sonic: *pulls Amy away* Okay, thank you for the crummy comfort, Amy!

Then the door to Emi's room opened, and she looked ahead... it was him.

Amy: Hey! How the heck does he know who she is when she never told him her name?
Benimaru: Plot purse... seriously, do you love to pick things apart?
Amy: I just can't let it slide, Mr. Nikaido.

He was giving a lovely bunch of sunflowers to Emi... and Keiko wasn't too happy about that.

Sonia: *looks at Keiko* Bitter?
Keiko: *looks at Sonia* Are you?
Sonia: Far from it, actually. Thanks for asking.

"Hey, Kusanagi-baka. I'm suprised that you used your head in something." she said as he scoffed lightly.

Kyo: Let me guess... is this about the "I dropped out of high school" thing again?
Manic: And if one of us says "yes"?
Kyo: Too bad, because I'm in high school in these fics! Ha!
Manic: You're still failing, though.
Kyo: Don't remind me, Broccoli.

"You know, Tsuki-sama... I really don't have the time for you today, so if you would just shut the hell up, I would refrain from burning your ass."

Benimaru: And the award for the world's worst long winded insult goes to--
Kyo: Shut up, Beni.

"Well... I guess you two know each other..." Emi mumbled while staring at the two separately. Keiko was Emi's sister... and there were so many people who never believed that those two could be related.

Kyo: Aside from myself, of course.
Keiko: You want to take this outside, Kusanagi?
Kyo: *smirks* Sure, but have you improved on that hand to hand combat? Your sister does a better job when it comes to touching me.
Emi: *blushes, hides her face in her hands*

It slightly startled Athena, made Benimaru laugh at that fact... and now Kyo couldn't believe it.

Sonic: Well, at least I'm not a certain someone in a certain fic.
Amy: You've been warped there, too. You are not invincible.

"Emi...?" he began.

"Yes?"

"This... thing is your sister?"

"Well... yeah."

"Is this some kind of curse?"

Amy: *making ghostly noises, holding up various fics* You need to read more fanfics, Mr. Kusanagi. Shall we begin with the "Sonic the Hedgehog" and "Twilight" fanfics?

Emi simply shrugged, she couldn't give him a straight answer.

Sonia: Apparently, saying "yes" is the hardest thing in the world.

Then Keiko's big mouth opened for a really bizarre reason... she said that Kyo wasn't supposed to be near her sister...

Sonic: Yes, screw the fact that she almost died! Thanks, Kathryn!
Keiko: *cringes* That name...!

"And why not?! She almost died last night, and you're suddenly making up these stupid rules like you're some bratty princess?!"

Manic: Yes. Just say yes.

"Maybe, maybe not..."

Manic: Close enough!

"If that's the case... I'll knock you off your goddamn throne!"

Emi: Careful! If you do that, another spoiled brat will be certain to take her place!

"Oh, god..." Emi mumbled as the two continued their cursing, and it seemed to frustrate the hell out of her.

Kyo: "Seemed", my butt.

"Um...do you guys know that you're disturbing some of the other patients...? These walls are thin, ya know..."

Sonic: Jeez, for a distinguished family of fighters, one has a terrible personality, and the other has some terrible speech patterns.

Of course, they barely listened, then stopped mid sentence, with Keiko's slashing fists and Kyo's flaming ones positioned over Emi's bed. The Tsuki heiress shook her head lightly.

Benimaru: Ah, isn't it fun? They nearly killed themselves! Now let's have some dinner!

"What did you just say, sis?"

"Oh, god... I said that the walls are thin here! I swear, if you both can't get along, then I guess one of you two has got to go."

Keiko: Throw them both out, save the time. End of chapter.

"Hmph... guess I gotta leave then..." Keiko mumbled and silently exited.

"Good riddance." Kyo mumbled, then he heard the younger heiress yell "I heard that!" in a highly annoying tone of voice.

Sonia: Comma's missing.
Kyo: Well, grab one of the commas from the introduction and stick it in there.

"So, Emi..." he began.

"Yes, Kusanagi-san?"

"You don't have to be that proper now... you're making me sound old, and I'm only twenty."

Amy: Well, at least the author's done a bit of research.
Emi: *giggling while holding a picture* Yes, I can definitely see that angle.

"...Okay, Kusanagi-san..."

Manic: Ingrained politeness or jerkiness?
Sonic: The former. She's an Anti-Sue, not a Jerk Sue.

"Jeez... well, anyway... I heard you try to say something last night, but I couldn't figure out what it was."

Kyo: Something along the lines of... *in a high pitched voice* "Take me now, Kusanagi-san!"
Manic: Dude, that's... just don't do that again.

"Oh, that... I was trying to tell you about my flames."

Kyo: Oh. I guess that's a good answer, too.

"Um... can you repeat that again, Miss Emi?" Kyo asked in a highly confused tone of voice. Obviously, he thought he must've heard something crazy in his ears.

Benimaru: Like this fic making sense when it wasn't.

"My flames. I tried to fight with them, but I was at a risk of burning myself in the process."

"You... have flames?"

Amy: And just for that... how many people have flames again? And let's not count Kyo, Iori, or Kyo's clones.
Keiko: Hmm. We have Mai, Orochi Chris... to a lesser extent, Ralf and Andy... shall I continue?
Amy: No, I think that's good.

"Well, yeah. What, you don't believe me?"

"...Nope..."

Manic: And then the -- sorry, Emi -- the Sue proves him wrong.

"Your blather amuses me, Kusanagi-san. I will prove you wrong, though."

Sonic: Jeez, with that speech, all she's missing is a curly moustache!

Emi said and slowly lifted a hand, letting a tiny blast of fire emit from it. After she extinguished it, she looked at her 'sweet savior' and he was temporarily in shock, then calmed down quickly.

Emi: Does your character easily impress some of the most experienced fighters?
Sonia: Check.
Emi: There's one Sue cliché.

"Oh well... I guess training another student won't be much of a problem..."

Kyo: Someone's forgotten about Kaori.
Benimaru: *slightly narrowing his eyes* I did, but somebody had to remind me.

"Huh...?"

"You can't control those flames of yours, and this is where I come in."

"So you mean...?"

Keiko: Now he's training her for free? I thought he dragged Yabuki through Hell before he had a chance to be a pupil!
Kyo: Not quite, Tsukino. And how soft am I in this thing?
Amy: *shuffling her tarot cards* Would you like to ask that question again, Mr. Kusanagi?
Kyo: I think I'll pass, Miss Cleo Hedgehog. Thanks, anyway.

The Kusanagi heir could tell that the young heiress was extremely happy. She really wanted to jump out of that hospital bed and hug him... and maybe add a few kisses to that...

Manic: And maybe add a bit of sexy time to that...

but because of last night's wounds, she couldn't do a thing.

Sonic: No, it's one terrible wound.

So she simply smiled, and in her mind, she was kicking herself senseless.

"You're going to train me... but what about that other person?"

Emi: *as herself* I just want to be spoiled with a lot of time with him, because I'm just that selfish!

"Who, Shingo? You'll get along with him."

"You sure about that?"

"Yeah... but he drives me nuts sometimes..."

"Oh, don't let that get to you now. At least he tries, right?"

"Yeah."

Sonia: Uh... when did the Sue turn into Dr. Phil?
Kyo: How the heck should I know? I'm an idiot in these fics, remember?
Sonia: Sounds like every other KOF fic.
Kyo: *scoffs*

"That's nice. I get out of here tomorrow, so will you train me then?"

"I... don't think so. That stomach wound of yours is kinda severe..."

Amy: After careful "research", we've discovered that stomach slashes do indeed hurt like the devil. We just use blood packs for that romance effect.

"Oh... forgot about that... gomen. (sorry.)"

"It's all right. You do have some potential, and that's good."

All: What potential?! She hasn't started yet!

"Really?!" she said as her eyes seemed to sparkle a bit.

Emi: And that's because glitter was stuck in her eyes. Does anybody have a rinse?

"Well... yeah. Jeez, Emi... I said that I'd train you, and you sound like you won a crapload of yen or something."

Sonic: Insert another "hump Kyo" riff here.

"Heh... well, I've never been this excited in my life, so maybe this is like winning a lot of money."

"Huh... you've got a bit of humor (and beauty) there..."

All: *smacking their foreheads*
Benimaru: The scent of Sue is too intense! Abandon ship! Ladies and myself first!

"Thank you. I'm not that much of a funny girl, just one of those smart ones who's always forced to look in the books and wants to check out the latest game that's playing at the arcades."

Keiko: Uh... and we care about this... why?

"Really? You sound pretty interesting, though. Guess I should hang around you more often."

All: *deadpan* And you will. Three fics full.

"And so you shall... but then there's Keiko... she'll make a big stink about this."

"Ah, forget about her. That little brat needs to mind her own damn business anyway."

Kyo: And why does this seem to ring true today, huh...?
Keiko: Bite me, Kusanagi.

"I really didn't know that you were that harsh towards her."

"I apologize... but that's just the way it is."

Manic: Kyo Cronkite said this, guys.

"Oh."

"Well, I guess I should be leaving now, since I have some things to do...

Amy: *as Kyo* ...like break up with Yuki...

but I'll see you around, okay?"

"All right." she said as he smiled and left. After a while, Emi looked at the bunch of sunflowers and noticed something that really stood out. She picked them up and pulled something out of it.

Sonic: It was anthrax. Fic's over!
Emi: It's far from the end, Sonic.

'A slip of paper? Huh...'

She slowly opened it up and smiled a bit.

Sonia: And then it squirted some water in her face. April Fool's!

'A slip of paper... that holds Master Kyo's address... that's so nice of him. And I swear I will make him proud with my flames of the Kusanagi...'

Keiko: *stammers* The Kusa... how does she know that she has the Ku -- Sonic?
Sonic: Yeah?
Keiko: Got any more of that cheese?
Sonic: Yep! And dig in, everybody! We're going to be enjoying it for quite a while!

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