Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Black Crow Crew, Episode 12: New Girl!? (Part One)

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1- New Girl!?

(Tails: So Sonic, I heard that a new girl is coming to your class.)

Kyo: *as Tails* I also heard that she can drink Jessie under the table.
Jessie: Ha. Good luck with that.

(Sonic: Don't get any i.....) A new girl walks in the class room.

Cassy: No freakin' dur.

(Sonic: Be right back!) (Tails: Huh?!) Sonic grabs the new girls hips.

Miyu: *as a documentary announcer* When breeding, the male first checks the female for any signs of fertility...

(New girl: Huh?)

Kyo: Most new girls would've kicked him into the next dimension.

(Sonic: Hold on! My name's Sonic! And you are sooooooooooooo...) Sonic was gonna say cute but something stoped him.

Jessie: Like his sudden erection.

(New Girl: Hm? Well ,anyways my name is Rina.) (Sonic: Errrrrrrr.......)

Cassy: Anybody got a mop?

(Rina: See ya in class.... Sonic!)(Sonic: she remembered my name....)

Kyo: *facepalms* She only knew you for two seconds. If she forgot your name, that would prove that she has some shitty short-term memory.

Sally heard his words and ran away. (Sally: Sniff. I thought... I was his girl.)

Jessie: "Sniff"? She actually said that? What's next, "Oh, Sigh..."?
Miyu: This is starting to sound like a poorer written version of... you know... that one Sonic fic.

In class.. (teacher: Sally will not be here today because she fainted for some cause.)

Cassy: What the hell? Now she's acting odd because a guy she likes or liked talked to another gal? Is this "Twilight: Sonic Edition"?
Kyo: No, that's "Defying Destiny" in Sonic form. But you were close, Cass.

(Rina: Oh no! I hope she is all right!)

All: *holding rubber knives and wearing black cloaks* Liar! Liar! Liar!

(Sonic: Ahh...
You are so caring.....

Cassy: *pretends to slice her throat with the rubber knife* Liars die, you know.

After class. (Bunnie: Look ah Sugah Hog, i think you made Sally faint!) (Sonic: What makes you think that?) (Bunni: Well, fah one thing, you seem to like this new girl.) (Sonic: Well, you are right...
Then there is one thing to do.....

Jessie: *as Sonic* I must break up with her and turn her evil.
Miyu: Kathryn must die!

Next Chapter: Sonic Sally... Apart? Forever?

Kyo: Dur-hay. We're not stupid.

2 - Sonic Sally.. Apart... Forever?

Sonic dashes thru the door

Cassy: ...in a one horse open sleigh.

as he starts searching for Sally. But soon he finds Sally.

Miyu: *deadpan* What effort.

(Sally: what do you want? Sniff.)

Jessie: This also makes me want to sniff. As a matter of fact, I'd like to sniff a big crack rock right now.

(Sonic: Look, Sal I like this new girl.

Cassy: No shit.

And remember when I said that I will always love you?) (Sally: Yes.)

Kyo: *as Sonic* Well, I don't no more! *dances off*

(Sonic: Well, we're thru! its cause you only liked me for my speed and popularity.)

All: *flatly* What.
Cassy: So... she's the user? How? This is coming from the guy who got horny over a random girl in five nanoseconds, you know!

As Sonic runs back to find Rina guess who stops him on the way. Amy!

Jessie: Screw her, it's time to bang the new chick!

(Amy: Hi Sonic!) (Sonic: No time Amy! Gotta find Rina!)

Miyu: *ties a piece of string into a knot* Sonic, this is your spine. This is also your brain. If you're not careful, this will also be your pe--
Kyo, Cassy: *quickly puts their hands over Miyu's mouth*
Kyo: Thank you, baby!

(amy: i heard you broke up with Sally. So you wanna come with me?)

Kyo: Nope!

(Soinc: Actually i was gonna ask
Rina...) (Amy: WHAT!!!!!!!!??????????)

Cassy: Dude, Stevie Wonder can see that crap coming a mile away! Get with the program!

sonic ran as fast as he could to find Rina. But she was wih her two new friends, Sunshine(Sunshine fox), and Veena(pinktiger300).

Kyo: Great. Now we have Sue flunkies.

(Rina: I hope Sally's alright...)

Jessie: No, you don't! Stop lying! We know how you all think!

(Sunshine: Me too. But whatever happened to her she is all right.) (Veena: Uh, i don't think so.
Look, a Sonic without a Sally...) (Sunshine,Veena, and Rina: Weird.)

Miyu: *adjusts glasses* Nope, that's common. *pulls out a list* Extremely common...

Then in a moment of time

Cassy: ...or a sudden plot device...

Sonic finally found Rina.(Sonic: Rina...)
(Rina: Yes.?) (Sonic: Will you be my new girfriend?) (Sunshine and Veena: WHAT?!
That is like totally weird.)

All: No, it isn't.

(Sunshine;Sonic you are with Sally. you can't have 2 girlfriends.) (Veena: Uh, Sunshine? i think he dumped Sally for.... RINA?!)
(Rina: i had nothing to do with this!)

Jessie: Of course you didn't, you dimension warper.

(Sonic: Sooooo....????) (Rina: Let me think about it.....)

Kyo: Wait, she's going to use her brain?

On the way home... (Veena and Sunshine: tat was so sweet. But inda harsh on Sally...)

Miyu: Stop trying to care about her. We're not convinced.

(Rina: you guys, i think Sally only liked Sonic for his speed and popularity.) (Veena: Where do you get all this info?)
(Rina: Internet.) (Sunshine: ohhhh, she's good.)

Jessie: Ah, ha, ha, ha... go to Hell!

(veena: so will you accecpt?)
(Rina: I don't know....)

Cassy: Kitty says yes.
Miyu: Cassidy!
Cassy: Hypocrite says what?
Miyu: What? *smacks her forehead* Oh!
Cassy: *smirks* Yep.

at Sonics side of the page... (Tails: So you dumped Sally for Rina?)

Kyo: Dippity-dur-shit.

(Sonic: yes.) (Tails: Okkkkkkkkk.................

Miyu: An error has occurred in program "Cousin Tails". To continue, press Enter or restart with CTRL+ALT+DEL. You will lose any unsaved brain cells in any open applications.

so what did she say?) (Sonic: i don't know.. i don't know...)
next chapter: Yes or No?

All: Yes. Obviously.

3 - Yes or No?

All: *annoyed* She's going to say yes!

At Rina's home.... (Mom: Rina, I made your favorite, liver sticks!)

Jessie: Now I truly see why she's so bland.

(Rina: In a minute! So what should I say? I'll say yes! Sonic is so caring.)

Kyo: *rips his hair out* No, he isn't! He just dumped someone for you in two crappy sentences!

Rina starts sniffing thru her door.. (Rina: I'm in luck she burned them!)

Miyu: *pulls out a wand, puts on a wizard hat and cape* Ah, the magical plot device works again! Now I have to find my mock spellbook...
Cassy: *hands a book to Miyu* Here.
Miyu: Cassidy... this is your witchcraft book.
Cassy: Use it anyway, dude. Pretend that you're reading out of it or something.
Miyu: *shrugs* Okay...

At Sonic's house.
(Sonic's Mom: Sonic, whens Sally coming over?) (Sonic: Mom, I dumped her, she only cared about my popularity....)

Kyo, Miyu, Jessie: *groans*
Cassy: Shut up, you redundant little turdhorn!

(Mom: oh....) Next school day...Rina was just walking around when suddenly Veena and Sunshine showed up.

Kyo: And every sign of any sort of plot fully died and was buried one hundred feet underground.

(Veena: So what do you say?) (Sunshine: Yeah tell us! I am just dying for you ansewer!)

Miyu, Cassy: *playing Tic-Tac-Toe together*
Miyu: Another tie.
Cassy: *draws a new board on the paper* Yep.
Jessie: *talking to James on her cell phone* I'm telling you, this fic's awful...
Kyo: *stares at the ceiling* Mmm. Gonna need to buy something to regrow my hair after this.

(Rina: Well, the ansewer is..... YES!) (Veena and Sunshine: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Cassy: *bored* Oh, go rot in a ditch.

(Rina: Now all I have to do is find Sonic!) But Sonic was right in front of her!

Kyo: *shouts angry gibberish* Fucking Hell!
Jessie: *still on her phone* Yeah, that was Kyo flipping out again. *to Kyo* James says hi, Kyo.
Kyo: *screams in a rampage*
Jessie: *on her phone* He says hi back. Yes, he can be sweet when he wants to be... well, mostly to Miyu...

(Rina: Sonic...) (Sonic: Yes?) (Rina: I want to be your girlfriend....) (Sonic: WOO HOO! YAY! YEAH!)

Jessie, Cassy: *shoots paper balls into the trash can*
Jessie: *still on her phone* Nothing's happening... I mean, he just broke up with someone and started dating someone else in the span of two chapters. I -- damn it, my phone died.
Cassy: Somebody really hates you today, dude.
Jessie: No, I'm just unlucky, Cassy. *points to the rabid Kyo who is currently being calmed by Miyu* Somebody hates him today.

Afer School....
(Rina: Anyways, he asked me out tonight!) (Veena and Sunshine: WOO HOO!
Tha tis like awsome!) On date... (Rina: Oh my gosh! Sonic this is beutiful!)
(Sonic: only for the best.)

Miyu: I have a problem with this "scene"...  just where the heck are we?!
Cassy: Where the rest of this fic is located... a white space.

The two gaze longily until.... THE KISS!
*Dun Dun Dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!*

Jessie: Are you sure that these ninnies are in high school? They're too afraid to kiss?
Cassy: They're probably attending one of those schools where they suspend you for hugging.

Ok..... Sonic starts blushing and so does Rina...
After the date.. (Veena and Sunshine: Sooooooooooooo? What happened? we want all the details, we're dying!) (Rina: Well.............)

Kyo: He probably did her. You know how horny he is in this fic.

At home...
Rina is lying in her bed getting ready for sleep... (Rina: This is the best!)
Next Chapter:

Jessie: "Rina Pregnant!?"
Miyu: *stunned* What the heck?! Have you lost your mind?!
Jessie: We are Black Crow members. We've lost our minds since the beginning, Miyu.

Sally Gone!?
Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo? How you likey? Me likey..

Cassy: I dun likey. Go 'way.

4 - Sally Gone!?

Hey people! Sorry if I haven't wrote the other chap. yet. Its cuz we went to Schleterbahn!!!!!!!!!!

Kyo: The hell's that?
Miyu: A waterpark. I'm also not surprised that it's misspelled.

We won four tickets! *starts doing victory dance*
Well, heres the story.

Cassy: *laughing* There's a story?!

At school....
(Teacher: Sally won't be here today because she is sick.)(Sonic: again?)

Jessie: Well, being in a badfic can make you ill...

Rina starts to look at Sonic... (Sonic: What?) (Rina: Nothing... Its just
you are so nice and funny! I liked you all along. I was just too nervous
to tell you.) (Sonic: Thanks. Me too.) Sonic and Rina start to blush.
(Sonic: Well, lets find Sally and help her get well!) (Rina: Yeah!)

Kyo: Let's get horny! Oh, now we should find Sally! *narrows his eyes* You kidding me?

Little did Sonic know, Rina had every power there is!

All: What the hell?
Jessie: *stares at her dead phone* Anyone else have a phone I can use for a quick second?
Cassy: *tosses her phone to Jessie* Why?
Jessie: Because it looks like I'm going to have to kill another one...
Kyo: Can I burn the evidence?
Jessie: We'll see.

So while Sonic was running Rina was right beside him! (Sonic: I'll try to go.... What?)
(Rina: Hi!) (Sonic: How can you do that?) (Rina: what? this? I have powers!)

Miyu: *waves her wand* And it happens again.

(Sonic: How come you never told me?) (Rina: I dunno...)

Kyo: Which reminds me... why do you need all of that mock wizard stuff if you have psychic powers, Miyu?
Miyu: I don't know. Well, isn't that odd?

As soon Rina stoped talking they saw Sally. (Sonic: Well it looks likes shes all better...)
as soon as he said that Sally dived down a clift.(Rina and Sonic: SALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) After that she was never heard of again...

Cassy: Only one problem... this didn't happen to Bella Swan.

Well they are all very sad... (Sunshine and Veena: YAY! Sallys dead Sallys dead!) what happened to the crying? (Veena and Sunshine: What are you kidding me!?) (Veena: THREE CHEERS FOR THE BEST COUPLE, RINA AND SONIC!)
(Everyone: Hip Hip Horray! Hip hip horray! Hip hip horray!)

Miyu, Cassy: ...
Kyo: What the fu--
Jessie: *plays her harmonica, sings* I hate you guys...

Rina and Sonic start blushing.

Cassy: They're blushing while they're being praised over someone's corpse? Dude, I'm not even this morbid!

Next chap. Eggman's back!
How you like?

Miyu: I don't like it! As a matter of fact, I'm horrified! Why would you write that?!

5 - Eggman's Back!

Jessie: He's back? Well, where the hell was he in this fic before?

Before I start... THANK YOU SUNSHINE FOX AND PINKTIGER300 FOR ALL THE DRAWINGS YOU DID FOR ME! *starts hugging them (Both: Can't Breathe....) Oops...

Kyo: This random humor makes me want to asphyxiate at 30,000 feet.

Anyways...
(Rina: So anyways Sonic, I was thinking.....)

All: *laughing*
Cassy: *claps* Encore!

Rina couldn't finish her sentence
cause Eggman's robots got her!

Jessie: And why is that a problem? Kill her so the whole universe can go back to normal.
Miyu: And why can't she break out herself? I mean, she does have every single power.
Kyo, Jessie, Cassy: Logic?
Miyu: Dead. Buried. I know.

But luckily Takafumi, Tails, and Chicka were just a few steps away!

Kyo: Who the hell are they? Well, aside from Tails, of course.
Miyu: Takafumi is Cousin Tails's sister... only the bangs are navy blue, and she wears a black shirt that is long-sleeved.
Kyo: Takafumi is a boy's name, Miyu. Even more proof that those fanbrats don't do research.
Miyu: Yep. And Chika is... well, remember Sabrina?
Kyo: She's another one of those "Eggman killed my parents" Sues?!
Miyu: Mm-hmm.
Kyo: God, these people are so uncreative.

Sonic ran as fast as he could to them. (Chika: First my family, now my friend... HE HAS GONE TO FAR!!!!!!!!!!)

Miyu: Um... she's been your friend for one second.
Cassy: Everyone loves Sues, remember? Their sparkly butts can do no wrong.

(Takafumi: C'mon Tails!)
(Tails: Right!) The 4 all attaked the glider but were not able to destroy it!

Cassy: Oh, well. Anyone want some spare ribs for lunch?

(Rina: SOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Jessie: Oh, push daisies already.

Sonic ran as fast as he could and jumped on the glider! Then Veena and Sunshine
saw what happened.(Veena and Sunshine: RINA!!!!!!!!) The two did their double moves and almost destoyed the glider!(Sunshine: Two friends...) (veena: Are better than one!)

Kyo: So... they're complete twits and they fail at basic counting.

Sonic snatched Rina. (Sonic: You ok?) (Rina: Yeah. But I have some unfinished things...)

Miyu: Like what? You don't have an agenda! You don't even have a personality! We don't even know what species you are! You're just a thing!
Cassy: She's not even that. She could just be a bunch of walking letters that spell out "Rina".

(Chika: No.. let me.) (Rina: Blue.....)

Cassy: Who the hell is Blue?
Jessie: Rival of Red. Runs the Veridian City Gym.
Miyu: *plays a drum riff*
Jessie: Miyu? Who the heck taught you that?
Miyu: Manic did.
Jessie: Oh.

(Chika: Trust me.. I can handle this...) (Rina: Ok.) As soon as Chika hits the Glider it breaks upart! (Everyone: YAY, FOR CHIKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Chika blushes as she hears all the applalse. (Chika: Thanks. Now me and Robotnik are even!)
(Sunshine: How bout we celerbrate at a pizza parlor!) (Everyone: Yeah!)
(Veena: Eggman finally got what he deserves!)

Jessie: Um... can any of you nitwits call someone so they can clean up the mess?

(Rina: I'm still kinda nervous about tommoros talant show...)

Kyo: Well, I guess the talent isn't spelling.
Miyu: And why are we talking about a talent show all of a sudden?
Jessie: The plot jumps harder than people who cliff dive.

(Sonic: its ok, Rina. Yuo can do it. I know you can...)
Next Chap.: Sing Rina! Sing!

Cassy: I've got a hundred bucks that says that she's the best singer ever. And if that's true, I'd like somebody to shoot me.

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