Mystery Science Theater En Masse: Interns

Mystery Science Theater En Masse (MST 'EM): Interns
"In a somewhat distant future... insert date here, A.D..."

Oh, we have a lot of new faces this season. (Note that if a character has at least one asterisk behind their name, follow the small guide below.)
Miles "Tails" Prower: Sonic's best friend and Miyu's distant cousin. He brings his device, the Miles Electric, to his riffings.
Leah Clearwater: She's one of the only sane characters from the "Twilight" series, and the only character from said series who will be a riffer here. Despite her nature, she does enjoy talking with her fellow riffers a bit. She's only cold towards whiny Mary Sues.
Kaoru Miyadama**: A good friend of the Tsukino Sisters. Though she may be somewhat quiet like Emi, she can be brutally honest, similar to Keiko. She also has an extremely low tolerance for terrible writing. She is also a bit out of touch with modern society, so she often asks a lot of curious questions.
Miyuki Fujiwara*: An aspiring pro wrestler and a childhood friend of the Tsukino Sisters. Like Kyo K., she doesn't care about her studies too much. She also doesn't seem to give a care in the world when she riffs, either. However, she has an immense dislike of overly cute things. (No, this isn't "Grrrl Powah!", she just dislikes it when cute stuff is shoved down her throat. Other than that, she doesn't mind it.)
Tomoko Nakamura***: Known as the "Queen of the Underground" (and many other aliases that won't be said because we'll be here all day), this biker chick refuses to pull any punches in her riffs.
Akiko Miyadama**: Kaoru's older sister. She's good pals with the Tsukino Sisters, Tomoko, and Jessie... or rather, she enjoys Jessie's "pillows" for some reason.
Dante: Yes, the original lover of crazy parties and pizza from the "Devil May Cry" series is a riffer. Similar to Manic and Rory, he's incredibly witty and impossible to anger.
Vergil: Dante's brother. He's rather apathetic to stupidity, similar to Mai and Leah.
Juri Han: Also known as "Spider", she's aligned herself with the Shadaloo Intimidation Network, or S.I.N. In this universe, she's hated by a few certain riffers... mainly Jessie and James. Aside from that, her riffing style is rather... unfiltered.
Jayleen Kirishima**: An ally of the Miyadama Sisters, the Tsukino Sisters, Miyuki, and... Tomoko. And yes, Tomoko cannot stand her, mainly because she's a rather snobbish and talkative person.
Angelique Kimura-LeMaire*: Kyo L.'s older sister (technically, half sister; they share the same father) whom he affectionately calls "Lili" (it's pronounced "Lee-Lee"). She's one of the few people who can keep the pyromaniac in check... most of the time.
Juniper Mayfield*: A Pokémon Trainer. Born in Blackthorn City and raised in Petalburg City, this brash orange-haired trainer... is just here because... reasons. She's actually a nice girl... just loud.
Julia*: A Pokémon Coordinator with no last name from Pacifidlog Town and Juniper's friend. Like Juniper, she's here because... reasons. She's the perfect foil for Juniper, since she's the quiet one compared to the loud Trainer. She also brings her curious starter Pokémon (Zigzagoon) with her.
Poison: She's a former henchwoman of the Mad Gear Gang who now runs the HWA (Huge Wrestling Army). She's also an odd friend of Jessie and James. She's just here to kill time, basically.

*Original character owned by the writer (all original characters prior to this season are owned by the writer)
**Original character owned by the editor
***Original character owned by a friend of the writer and editor

As if sixteen riffers weren't enough, the four groups have decided that they can recruit one riffer for each group and bring the total to an even twenty. The problem is... they have to perform a rather arduous process in which every new riffing happens to serve as an "interview". Lots of potential riffers will show up, but only four can be chosen.

And besides, if the potential riffers don't make the cut... well, it won't be the last of them, anyway. So there's no real worries there.

Remember, I'm still using the Fiction ratings, so if you jumped here and never visited the Fanfiction section, here are the equivalents:
G = K
PG = K+
PG-13 = T
R = M
NC-17 = MA

M41/501 - Marielle (Twilight fic by Scarlet Harlot)
The only thing that's remotely related to the series here are the books that the resident Sue and her twin sister are reading. However, the fic can actually be related in one little fact... the riffers want to strangle the selfish Bella clone. Read about her (and suffer for it) with Miyu, Kyo K., Mai, Tails, and Leah.
Fic's Rating: T
MST's Rating: T for some innuendo from Kyo and Leah.
*Fic's been modified to fit the MST's format.*
Parts: One Two

M42/303 - Women Decoded (Plagiarized Article by Shauna Glenn) (Original version consisting of seven is [here]) (The original article that had nine phrases has been taken down as shown [here])
Oh, boy. If the previous man bashing articles weren't bad enough... then you haven't seen anything yet. Join Cassy, Keiko, and Kaoru as they try to dechiper this horrible article in which women can really do no wrong and speak in morse code, and the men are somehow worthless slobs who need to be castrated. No, seriously. Castration is mentioned. And it's supposed to be funny.
Article's Rating: ~~G for Godawful~~ M for language and failed black humor.
MST's Rating: M for language and... endless rage. Especially when it comes to Cassy and Keiko.
*The article that is riffed consists of nine phrases which were eventually taken down. The version that consists of seven is up for viewers to see what it looked like unriffed.*
*Even though it is plagiarized, Cassy, Keiko, and Kaoru will act like the entire thing is original to keep up with the spirit of MST 'EM. Keep in mind that the examples involving the "sweet" woman and her "idiot" husband are original scenes. They're terrible scenes, but they're original ones.*
*This is the first full "Epic Failure" article... make that a "Catastrophic Failure" due to the horrible scenes and plagiarism.*
Read it here!

M43/403 - Love With Good Taste (Pokémon Special/Adventures fic by "Pokésue"... that's not her real pen name, obviously.)
In this fic, we're introduced to Topaz... oh, and maybe Pearl, but we're not sure. He keeps being shoved aside in this fic. Anyway, this is "The Topaz Show", where she keeps blushing over her future hump buddy. Also, guys tend to fawn over her, and there's a love triangle... that's easily solved in about two chapters. Yes, we definitely needed a healthy dose of bad clichés for this one. It's time to watch Sonia, Benimaru, Miyuki, and Tomoko deal with the extremely scatterbrained Topaz.
Fic's Rating: K
MST's Rating: T for some language (and Tomoko's crass riffs).
Parts: One Two Three Four Five

M44/404 - Fairy of nature, Mistress of the Forest (Twilight fic by Supernatural Mistress)
Remember when Bella became the biggest Sue to top them all when "Breaking Dawn" came out? Yeah, guess what? She's not a vampire in this one, for she's actually a freaking fairy that is stronger than Stephenie Meyer's Mary Sue race! No, I'm not kidding. Sonic and Kyo L. make their (not so) triumphant returns after a nine and ten episode hiatus with Jessie and Akiko. And they don't hate the author at all when the author's notes come up. They just hate Bella. But that fact's not new.
Fic's Rating: K+
MST's Rating: T
*Fic's been slightly modified to fit the MST's format.*
Parts: One Two Three

M45/405 - Common Sense is Dead
The Problem With Married Couples Who Choose To Have No Kids by Buzz Bishop (Original is [here])
The Harsh Bigotry of Twilight Haters by Erika Christakis (Original is [here])
Are you married? Don't have kids? Don't want to have kids? Then you're a selfish prick who should stay out of the suburbs! And do you hate "Twilight"? Are you a guy? Then you're a rapist who stomps on the wonderful fantasies of us women! These two articles somehow managed to make even less sense than the articles that have been riffed so far, and Amy, Rory, Dante, and Vergil are going to suffer through them.
Rating: T
MST's Rating: T
*Hyperlinks have been removed.*
*Both articles nab the title of "Epic Failure".*
*"The Problem With Married Couples Who Choose To Have No Kids" is one due to offending the real life readers and not the riffers (even though Amy was peeved).*
*"The Harsh Bigotry of Twilight Haters" is an "Epic Failure" article because it doesn't make sense!*
Read it here!

M46/304 - Do Shut Up (Two Original Articles by Samantha Brick)
Independence? A career? Who needs them! A husband who prizes your looks, not your mind is the key to a happy marriage (Original is [here])
Why women hate me for being beautiful (Original is [here])
Don't worry if you don't know who Samantha Brick is... because Emi, James, and Juri don't, either. (And it's odd considering that the resident British riffer doesn't know anything about this woman.) Let's join them as they... well... not care about these articles or the woman who has an ego the size of the Milky Way one bit.
Article's Rating: K/K+
MST's Rating: T
*Hyperlinks are removed, you know the drill.*
*The title for this collab is inspired from the Simpsons episode "Missionary: Impossible". "Do Shut Up" was a PBS show that Homer liked.*
*"Why women hate me for being beautiful" is an "Epic Failure" article not because the riffers were annoyed by it. It's because of the comments on the original page describing it as such.*
Read it here!

M47/406 - Sealing the Elements (X-Men Evolution fic by Flare3 [Known as just "Flare" before the FF.Net name rule took effect.])
This is Cassie. Please don't confuse this Cassie with our resident morbid kitty riffer Cassy, because Cassie is a rather unlikable Mary Sue who has the Institute under her thumb the minute she shows up. Oh, and she makes almost everyone like her despite her horrible personality, makes Jubilee jealous, presumably wants to bonk Pietro, and hates Jean... just like every other cookie cutter Mary Sue in this freakin' fandom. Manic returns after a long ten episode absence to tackle this with Axl, Tomoko, and newcomer Jayleen.
Fic's Rating: ~~G for Godawful~~ T
MST's Rating: M for language.
*Unfortunately, this is another "Epic Failure" fic.*
Parts: One Two

M48/202 - The New Girl (*Really Old Shame* Sonic Fic by inu-shinai-kirara/SerketChaos)
Say hello to Keira. Keira's "The New Girl". This new girl instantly gains Sonic's love and Amy's ire. She also gains the ire of Kyo Baudin-LeMaire. Oops. Our resident angry fox boy and his big sister Angelique are going to deal with this one.
Fic's Rating: T
MST's Rating: T for language.
*Yes, the author admits that it's a bad fic, calls Keira the worst Mary Sue ever... and apologizes for it. (Spoiler: She's still not the worst MST 'EM Mary Sue.)*
Parts: One Two Three Four

M49/502 - Street Fighter: No Time 4 Love (Street Fighter Trollfic by DeathWish666)
In the year 2007... a good chunk of the Street Fighter cast was thrown out of character. Ken's a frat boy bully who must've inhaled a ton of laughing gas, Zangief and El Fuerte are enemies, Chun-Li actually has a hard time fighting Dan Hibiki... and she doesn't know what Shadaloo is, and there's a horribly constructed character named Dusk in the center of it all. And she's probably Enoby Way's cousin when you find out what she looks like. And no, Amy Rose was not amused upon hearing anything related to the name "Dusk". The hammer wielding hedgehog is tackling this fic with Kyo K., Keiko, Juniper, and Julia.
Fic's Rating: T
MST's Rating: T
Parts: One Two Three

M50/407 - Rainbow Eclipse (Sailor Moon fic by Lyra Matsuoka)
To quote Sonia: "Oh, dear heavens."
After the events in "Sailor Stars", there's a new enemy. Well, a new enemy for Endymion, at least. This enemy has a reason for wanting to kill him... and it's incredibly freaking stupid and makes no sense at all. Also, she's incredibly beautiful... and the fic won't shut up about it. She also has "indigo" eyes... and the fic won't shut up about that, either. She's connected to the Sailor Senshi (read: better than them, including depowering Sailor Moon to boot), and her civilian form has an endless laundry list of talents that will make you roll your eyes so hard that they might fall out of the back of your head. Yeah. There's a reason why Keira's not the worst Mary Sue in MST 'EM. Miyu, Emi, Axl, and Akiko... regretfully deal with this horrible monstrosity.
Fic's Rating: ~~G for Godawful~~ T
MST's Rating: M for language.
*This fic uses the names from the English dub of Sailor Moon (except for the Outer Senshi, oddly), and has a few parts from the manga (Like Tuxedo Mask's manga exclusive attack and the Outer Senshi using "x Crystal Power" to transform). Also, "Scout" and "Senshi" are used interchangeably.*
*This fic has been modified slightly to better serve the MST's format... so it can look a lot less Notepad-like. Also, the e-mail at the end of each chapter has been removed.*
*There's a horrible Mary Sue here (which was enough to break Miyu Prower and Emi Tsukino, of all riffers), and as a result... this is another "Epic Failure" fic.*
Parts: One Two Three Four Five Six Seven

M51/305 - Because of You (Tekken fic by Electronix Maximus)
Do you remember that part in "A Story of Destined Love" where Emi was taken into an alleyway and Kyo saved her? Well... in this situation, pretend that Emi doesn't thank him. Instead, she punches Kyo in the stomach for saving her. Also, replace "Emi and Kyo" with "Yoko and Jin". Yeah, and this fic's only going downhill from there. Sonic, Mai, and Leah team up to take this horrible fic down.
Fic's Rating: ~~G for Godawful~~ T. It's actually T.
MST's Rating: M
*Thanks to Yoko's abusive attitude... this is another "Epic Failure" fic.*
Read it here!

M52/503 - Strippers and Lobotomies (Two Articles by Tanya Gold)
Women watch men strip for fun. Men watch women for darker reasons (Original is [here])
Men want us lobotomised (Original is [here])
There's nothing wrong with going to a strip club... if you're a woman, according to the writer of these articles. The only problem with this set? Oh, dear. Everything just screams "hipocrisy" and "double standards" in it. Just read along with Sonia, Jessie, James, Jayleen, and Poison.
Article's Ratings: T
MST's Rating: T
Read it here!

M53/306 - My Real Love (Sonic fic by Nebula the Hedgehog)
There's nothing wrong with supporting a Sonic/Amy pairing, but there is something wrong when you have to bash a different character because she's "evil". Yes, Sally's getting bashed in yet another fic, and it's the third bashing for poor Miss Acorn in this series. Join Manic, Rory, and Tails for their riffing of this oneshot.
Fic's Rating: T
MST's Rating: K+/T
Read it here!

M54/408 - New Allies or New Enemies? (Sailor Moon fic by Hoshiko Megami)
The fic's title shouldn't even be a question. It's nearly obvious that almost every OC Senshi is an ally of Serena and company. And it gets worse... the two Mary Sues in question happen to be better than Serena. In her Eternal form. And one Sue literally pushes the other Sue out of the spotlight as the fic goes on, because you all know that there can only be one Black Hole Sue. Cassy, Benimaru, Miyuki, and Kaoru are all set to finish the season with this fic.
Fic's Rating: K+
MST's Rating: T
*This fic uses the names from the English dub of the anime.*
Parts: One Two Three Four Five

Here are the Obscure References for this season's Riffer Collabs.
Here are the Behind The Scenes for this season.

"I didn't start drinking yet. What the heck am I reading?" - Jessie, "Sonic High School"
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