Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Four Riffers, Episode 7: Rainbow Eclipse (Part Two)

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Hola! So here I am, back with Chapter 2. You shall never be rid of me! Bwa ha ha ha.

Akiko: *sighs* Unfortunately.

Thanks to Mary Ann and Corie who are the bestest (is that a word? Well, it is now!) friends in the whole wide world!

Axl: It's not a word. Stop trying to make it one. We can't have you crappin' on the English language and Sailor Moon canon at once.

Thanks also to melrae83 and moonstar for all your support!

Disclaimer: Sadly, Darien is NOT mine.

Miyu: That's actually a good thing. You Suethors and Stuthors step all over him like it's nobody's business.

He belongs to Princess Naoko, Duke Bandai, Count Dic and Sir Pioneer.

Axl: Yeah... no. Mamoru -- er, Darien -- belongs to Naoko Takeuchi... and only her.
Emi: I have no idea why authors do copyrights when they get everything wrong.

And to one Lilac Summers (read her fics, people, they are fab!)

Miyu: *adjusts glasses* Not if they're as horrible as this one.

None of the other characters belong to me either,

Axl: Thank god!
Miyu: No wonder you're so close to Kyo...

with the here noted Sailor Eclipse. On with the show!

Akiko: Can I get a refund? I don't like your show so far.

Rainbow Eclipse
by Lyra Matsuoka
Rated PG13 (language and violence)

Chapter 2
Challenge Issued

Emi: Don't do that, Sue! Miss Baxter will shoot you in the head! *thinks* Never mind, let Miss Baxter shoot you in the head.

Darien stared at Sailor Eclipse, unable to form the words to answer her astonishing declaration. Sailor Eclipse stared back, a small smile playing on her lips, her indigo gaze chilling.

Miyu: Okay, Suethor! We know that her stupid eyes are indigo! Now will you shut up about that?
Akiko: *takes a shot of soda* I'm starting to think that this'll make a cool drinking game. I should've started that earlier if I knew that was gonna happen.
Emi: *calmly takes a shot of tea* I guess I will join you on that one.

What did I do to deserve her hatred?

Axl: Nothing. Sues just hate you, man.

She stares at me with eyes as cold as the planet Saturn. How can I reach her? I don't know her, don't know anything about her. What did I do?

Axl: Nothing! And where's the thought thingies Where are the ellipses that were supposed to be used for that?
Miyu: That's too much work, Axl.

"It is not what you did, but what you did not do," Sailor Eclipse spat.

Akiko: *as Super Kami Guru* Clean that up!

"And you do know me. I have seen pictures of myself in your mind. They are hazy, but unmistakable."

Emi: Uh, if you didn't wipe his memories of you, he wouldn't ask who you were! Jeez, you're an idiot!

How did she answer my questions? I hadn't asked her yet! Could she be...

"Reading your mind?" Sailor Eclipse finished. "Yes, I am. A horrible habit, I know, but so useful at times.

Akiko: *rolls her eyes* That warrants another drink just for sheer stupidity!

I am, among other things, telepathic and telekinetic. I can both read other people's thoughts and move inanimate objects with the strength of my will," Eclipse said, gesturing to the cushion.

Axl: I'm going to punch you in the face now. I'm going to punch you a lot, Mary Sue.

"Do you have any other special talents?" Darien drawled, matching her earlier sarcasm.

Miyu: *slams her hands on the table* She is not being sarcastic! Stop saying that!
Emi: *hands Miyu a glass of tea* Tea, Miss Prower?
Miyu: Oh? *pushes glasses up*Yes, please.

"Many," Eclipse replied "But, enough about me."

Miyu: Stop lying, Sue. You know how your kind gets when the spotlight isn't on you.

Sailor Eclipse glided toward the sofa where she lounged indolently on its arm, leaning her head on her scepter. They sat silently for a few moments, Eclipse allowing Darien time to collect his thoughts and form his next question.

"You called me Endymion earlier."

"That is your name. Prince Endymion to be exact."

"How do you know that?"

"I know lots of things.

Akiko: *blankly stares at the screen*
Axl: Of freakin' course. Mary Sues know all.

For example, I know that the sickeningly cute girl whom you were sharing a rather steamy kiss with in your car earlier is your girlfriend Serena a.k.a. Sailor Moon a.k.a. Princess Serenity a.k.a. Neo-Queen Serenity. I know that her friends are the Sailor Senshi and I know that you would give your life to protect them."

Miyu, Emi, Akiko: *monotone* We are Mary Sues. We know all. We are legion.
Axl: *monotone* We are Ermac.
Emi: *shakes her head* Yeah, anyway. Oh, and way to bash Serena there, Sue. I'm starting to wonder if you hate pink, too.
Miyu: No, I believe that the Sue's trying too hard to be "evil" again.

"You have my attention," Darien spat "What do you want?"

Axl: I want this crap to end. And why is everyone spitting? It's kinda gross to read.

"A duel. With you. One on one, winner takes all. A fight to the death."

"Why?"

"That's for me to know.

Akiko: *kicks the table over in annoyance*
Miyu: Hey, Sue. It'd make more sense to just tell him!

Here's the bargain. If you show up tomorrow night at that park by your girlfriends house, and fight me and you win, I will never bother you again."

Emi: That's not happening. That's why we have eight more chapters after this.

"And if I refuse?"

Axl: She kills you because... well, just because.

"I will be forced to take drastic measures to ensure your compliance," Eclipse said, and calmly raised her scepter. "Here's a little preview."

Akiko: No, I don't want a preview. I don't want to know how "speshul" the Sue is. I want a freakin' plot!
Axl: That is the plot. It's... "how 'speshul' the Sue is".
Akiko: ...there's not enough ice cream in the world for this.

Darien watched as the star shaped jewel on the scepter began to glow. A round bubble floated out of the blinding light the scepter was creating. Slowly the bubble approached him, stopping right in front of him. Darien drew in a sharp breath. Inside the bubble, a battle raged. The Sailor Scouts fought against an unknown assailant. Their bodies were bruised and bleeding.

Emi: Uh... it's the Sue. We all know that.
Miyu: *sets the table upright with her telekinesis* I don't know why Suethors think that the reading audience has walnuts for brains.
Axl: You haven't seen the reviews praising this crap, then.

Sailor Uranus attacked, only to be thrown against a wall by emerald icicles. Bleeding profusely, Sailor Uranus fell to the ground. She did not rise.

Akiko: *with a dunce cap on her head* Really? I would've assumed that she'd get up with holes all in her body!

Sailor Mercury threw her ice bubbles at the attacker, but was repelled when her own attack was thrown at her. Mercury, frozen in ice, watched in horror as a bolt of crimson lightning came cracking down on her. The ice shattered and Mercury collapsed, badly burned. Neptune and Jupiter charged, their bodies moving as one. Leaping into the air, the two braced themselves for impact. An orange blaze engulfed their bodies, throwing them to the ground. With soft cries of pain, the two lay still. One by one the scouts fell. Finally only Sailor Moon was left standing, surrounded by the bodies of her friends and fellow warriors. Darien watched in horror as Serena was vaporized by a sapphire tornado.

Axl: We got it, the Sue killed everyone. Can we get to how beautiful the Sue's indigo eyes are now?
Miyu, Emi, Akiko: Why?

"NO!" Darien yelled, attacking the bubble.

Emi: Wow, the Suethor really lowered his IQ. He'd normally just stand there with a stern or horrified look on his face, not attack the bubble!

"Calm down, Endymion. It wasn't real," Eclipse assured him. She gestured with her scepter and the bubble popped. "But it will be if you don't show tomorrow night."

"It was you, wasn't it? It was you attacking the Scouts in that little movie, wasn't it? You sick, twisted..."

Emi: Uh... "sick fuck", perhaps? What about "sick fuck"?
Axl: How 'bout "bitch"? Pretty sure he wanted to say that.
Miyu: We already knew who it was. Wow, Suethors write in distinct patterns of... blah.

"Listen sweet cheeks," Eclipse said in a deadly quiet voice,

Akiko: Ugh. I think I just tasted bile there.

"you can't even imagine what I am capable of. I will destroy you, one way or another. If I have to kill your soulmate to do that, I will. Make no mistake." Indigo eyes flashed dangerously.

Akiko: *takes a shot of soda* Chocolate eyes drank boredly. *pauses* Hey, now I'm turning into a freaky Sue!

"I want you dead and be it physically or mentally, I will make certain that you are."

Emi: Okay, Kusanagi! We get it, you're going to kill him!

"If I meet you tomorrow night, I want your solemn vow that you will not harm Sailor Moon or her friends in any way."

"Done. It isn't them I want."

Axl: *as Sailor Eclipse* But I'll want them, anyway! Because I can't make up my mind!

"You're on. Tomorrow night in the park. Midnight?"

"Perfect. Oh, and one more thing. I wouldn't mention this to your girl or her little Sailor Failure friends.

Miyu: Really, Mary Sue... you're trying way too hard to be a villain. You're just annoying the audience.

They might come with you to protect you. And I really couldn't guarantee my behavior at that point."

Emi: Well, keep it in check, Sue. Our opinion of you is already low. Do not make it any lower.

"Get out."

"With pleasure. Until tomorrow, Endymion."

Axl: Bye! When you go back to Hell, say hello to Satan for me! Ask him if Kyo LeMaire needs to visit!

With those parting words, Sailor Eclipse turned back toward the balcony. Planting the bottom of her scepter in the doorjamb, Sailor Eclipse vaulted onto the high wall surrounding the balcony. She paused for a split second, and then jumped over the rim, free falling into the night.

Akiko: ...splat.
Axl: Yes!
Emi: *raises an eyebrow* Hey, Akiko... does the Sue's vaulting remind you of Miss Kirishima?
Akiko: Yeah... I'm about to believe that she wrote this now.

Darien ran over and leaned over the edge of the balcony. He wasn't surprised that Sailor Eclipse was not visible.

Miyu: Of course. Beautiful, elegant, can do no wrong... I heavily dislike her.

"Until tomorrow night," he whispered to the cold sky, walking back inside, thinking of ways to temporarily repair his broken window. After locating a sheet and securing it over the gaping hole, Darien stripped and climbed into bed.

Akiko: *plays stripper music*
Emi: *heavily blushes*
Axl: *confused* I don't know what's going on anymore.

As he lay there, gazing at a picture of Serena, he felt his heart constrict. He loved her so much.

Akiko: Uh... hearts don't do that, right?
Emi: Oh... um... I think they do if you're having a heart attack... oh, god! Darien, go to a cardiologist!

Enough to die for her, he thought. I will protect you Serena. No matter what. But as Darien tossed and turned, he remembered the images depicted in the bubble and shuddered.

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All done! Super short I know, but I was having a slightly off day.

Axl: Please continue to have them so this stupid fic will end faster.

The next one will be longer, I'm sure.

Miyu: Eight chapters to go. Are you sure that you can handle it?
Axl: Nope.
Miyu: I know you couldn't, Axl.

Greetings! Part 3, ready and dying to be read.

Emi: And heavily eviscerated.

As always, let me know what you think. Flames, comments, compliments, I welcome them all.

Akiko: But mostly compliments.

Mary Ann, Corie, Herm, Jess, Emmie and all others, much love from She-Ra and from me too!

Disclaimer: Despite my attempts to legally change my name, my name is not Naoko and I still do not own Sailor Moon. Wipe a tear.

Axl: You can wipe my butt instead, Suethor.

Rainbow Eclipse
Chapter 3
Day of Reckoning
PG13 (language and violence)

Darien woke the next morning with a pounding headache.

Akiko: That's how I feel when I party too much.
Axl: I already have a pounding headache. Thanks, fic.

Memories of Sailor Eclipse and his late night conversation with her had haunted him, keeping him awake well into the early morning.

Miyu: I believe that's why we have that Ambien. Or was it Unisom?

When he finally drifted off to sleep, his dreams had been filled with visions of this strange, solitary scout. Sailor Eclipse, standing straight and proud,

Axl: *mutters*
Emi, Akiko: *straining to hear Axl*
Akiko: Hey, Miyu-chan. Can't you tap into his mind or something?
Miyu: I could, but... I don't really need to. I know my limits.

with her scepter high above her head, multicolored light shooting out from the star stone. Sailor Eclipse in a large white room, practicing fighting techniques with a group of young women.

Axl: It's probably the Inner Senshi. And if it is, you can stop treating them like background scenery now, Suethor!

Sailor Eclipse, rainbow cape flying behind her, running toward white marble ruins, tears running like silver rivers of pain down her cheeks. This was the vision that disturbed him most.

Emi: Of course it'd disturb him! "Silver rivers of pain"?
Akiko: If this prose gets any more flowery, I'm gonna have allergies.
Miyu: *calmly sips her tea*

Why was she crying? Darien wondered Her pain was so tangible, even in my ghost of a vision. Why did she cry?

Akiko: Because she wants you to feel sorry for her.
Axl: It ain't working for me.

Rising, Darien walked toward the kitchen. He reached for a glass and began filling it with water. He glanced at his window, grimacing at the material that covered it. He started at the knock on the door, his sudden movement causing water to slosh over the rim of the glass onto his hand. Grabbing a towel, Darien moved toward the door, opening it and looking for the visitor. The hall was empty save for a long white box.

Miyu: Mary Sue delivery box!

Bending down, Darien retrieved the box, lifting off the lid. On a bed of white lay a single blood-red rose, and a note.

UNTIL TONIGHT

Akiko: Okay, this is not scary. This is just stupid. Just stop it.
Emi: And that note needs quotations...
Akiko: We don't need quotations, Emi! It'll just get in the way of the Sue's... er... special-ness!

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Raye, priestess of the Cherry Hill Temple, sat in front of the shrine's ever-burning fire.

"I am flame, flame is light, I am fire, fire is sight," she chanted. "I am flame, flame is light, I am fire, fire is sight."

Axl: I am dumbfounded. That's supposed to be a chant?
Miyu: Well, it is using the dub's names and locations...

Slowly, pictures formed in the dancing flames. A rainbow cloak, a scepter with a star, a star stone with multicolored flames dancing in it.

Emi: I still don't understand why rainbows are supposed to connect with the Sue.

As Raye continued to chant, a figure materialized, this one dressed in a black tuxedo and a white mask. A flame of white lashed out, striking him in the chest. Tuxedo Mask fell burned to cinders.

"DARIEN!" Raye cried, breaking the mood and ending her vision. "Oh God, Darien." Raye reached up to brush the tears from her eyes. After bowing to the shrine's fire, she rose and hurried from the room.

Akiko: Well, that was fast. I thought that Raye wouldn't cry like that if she saw a vision that disturbing.
Miyu: That's logic. You know that everyone has to be thrown out of character so the Sue can shine.

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Haruka Tenou was nervous. As she sat on her couch, listening to Michiru play her violin, a wave of apprehension slid over her heart.

Miyu: Wait. Why are we using the original names for those two?
Axl: You just told Akiko about logic no less than thirty seconds ago, Miyu.
Miyu: Oh, dear.

"The ocean is boiling today," Michiru commented, laying her violin back in its case. "Something is coming."

Akiko: A team of investigators to find out why the ocean is boiling?
Emi: And to quote Investopedia's definition here... "To undertake an impossible task or project or to make a task or project unnecessarily difficult. Boiling the ocean generally means to go overboard."
Axl: *groans* Suethor... are you even trying here?!
Miyu: *pushes glasses up* I highly doubt that's what the author meant, Axl, but... it does sound rather coincidental.

"But what?" Haruka questioned, not really expecting an answer.

"A shadow from the past shall soon make itself known," came the reply. Both Haruka and Michiru turned their heads toward the open doorway where Setsuna stood, leaning on the doorjamb. Ruby eyes met blue and aqua. "I feel a trembling in the threads of time and space. We must be ready for anything."

Miyu: And that's before the Sue eliminates you with a snap of her fingers.

Both Haruka and Michiru nodded their agreement as the phone shrilled in the other room. The sound of bare feet running was heard, and then the click of the receiver being lifted from the cradle.

"Hello? Yes this Hotaru. Hi, Lita. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Are you sure? Okay, we'll be right over."

The receiver was replaced and Hotaru came running in.

"Raye did a fire reading this morning, and she sensed a dark aura around Darien. Serena wants to have a meeting. We're invited."

"Let's go," said Haruka, grabbing her car keys "I'll drive."

Axl: I think we might appreciate this as the only scene that doesn't directly involve the Sue in this fic.

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The Cherry Hill Temple garden was already filling up when Haruka's car pulled in. Raye, in her traditional temple garb, sat silently on a rock, waiting for the New Senshi.

Miyu: Uh... they're not "new". They were just the Senshi of the Outer Solar System. And according to the manga, they existed just as long as the ancient Moon Kingdom.
Akiko: Suethors don't do that much research, Miyu-chan.

Lita, Mina, Amy and Serena (on time for once) were sitting on stones or standing. Serena was fidgeting, desperate to learn what, or who, was creating danger for her love. Haruka and Michiru stood near Mina, while Hotaru and Setsuna perched on a stone bench.

"The shrine's fire has revealed a new presence to me," Raye began "There is also a dark presence surrounding Darien. I don't sense evil, just bitterness and hatred."

Emi: *points at Miyu* Bitterness. *points at Axl* Hatred.
Akiko: She's not evil, yet she's planning something evil. Uh-huh.

"Can you make out a face?" Mina asked.

Axl: *as Raye* No, but I can make out a middle finger... and it looks like it's from an angry brown squirrel.

"No, but I do see an rainbow piece of material, perhaps a cloak, and a scepter."

"A scepter? What does it look like?" Setsuna demanded, leaning forward on her bench. She was obviously disturbed. "Think, Raye. This is incredibly important."

Akiko: No, don't think about that! Don't torture the audience with the stupid prose again!

"It was straight, with a large star shaped stone at the top. The star stone had shifting colors inside it, almost like an opal, but more vivid. The star was surrounded by heart-shaped piece of metal, with the points of the star touching the inside rim of the heart," Raye described. "It was beautiful."

Akiko: *throws her hands up* Gah!
Axl: "Beautiful"? Yeah, uh... you misspelled "vomit-inducing", Suethor.
Emi: And why is Raye shilling the Sue's "beautiful" nonsense?
Miyu: Because we can't go through a whole scene without somebody going nuts over it.

"Why is that so important, Setsuna?" Serena asked, "Do you know who our new enemy is?"

Axl: See, look. Even Serena's sick of this crap.

"I may," Setsuna admitted. "But I want to do a little research before I say anything more. I need to go. I will contact you the moment I know more."

Miyu: Well, that was abrupt.

Setsuna rose and walked to a small grove of trees. Hotaru frowned after her. Though the others had missed it, Setsuna's eyes had reflected boundless joy in the instant that Raye described the scepter.

Axl: Well, someone has to like the stupid Sue.

But that joy had been followed by anger and the briefest hint of worry and fear. Hotaru watched Setsuna, thoughtful.

Akiko: I don't get it. Why would Setsuna be happy and angry in a split second?
Emi: *shrugs* And Pluto doesn't really show that much happiness unless she's around Chibiusa or Diana. So... having Setsuna being happy over a Mary Sue makes no sense.

"Pluto Crystal Power, make up!" Setsuna shouted. Immediately after Setsuna finished transforming, she was gone. Attention returned to the meeting, though all were curious as to the reason behind Setsuna's abrupt departure.

Miyu: She had to lick the Sue's heavily laced shoes.

"Is Darien in danger?" Serena asked, her apprehension returning.

Akiko: *sarcastically* Nope, he's going to Broadway! *normal voice* Raye just said that she sensed a dangerous presence around your boyfriend! Think!

"I'm not sure," Raye lied, unwilling to tell Serena what she had seen in the flames. "I'm going to do another fire reading tonight. Oh, there was one more thing. I sensed a great power emanating from this presence. Be extra careful."

All the senshi nodded their assent, and the group split up. Amy decided to do some extra research on the scepter, Raye went to finish her chores and Lita and Mina headed for the mall.

Axl: *gives a rather sarcastic thumbs-up* Priorities, Lita and Mina! *scratches his head* But let's be honest, nothing dangerous has happened yet.
Miyu: And something tells me that the scepter won't be in any books.
Axl: Of course not. Mary Sues and their trinkets are too special for history books.

Haruka saw the worry of Serena's face as she walked toward Darien's apartment, and tipped her head up to the sky. Shielding her eyes from the sun, Haruka's eyes sought the waning moon, a pale shadow of the sun.

Akiko: *hits Miyu, Emi, and Axl with the toy sledgehammer again* Symbology! Remember this stuff!
Miyu: *takes the sledgehammer away from Akiko* Yes, yes, yes...

What does to future hold for us, Queen Serenity? What part of our sad and mysterious past is about to be revealed?

Axl: The Mary Sue kicks everyone's asses. The End.

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Serena was lost in thought as she walked down the road. She dodged people and objects instinctively as she walked toward Darien's apartment.

Emi: She's going to be a complete idiot when she crosses paths with the Sue later. I'm calling it.

Could Darien really be in danger? Serena wondered. I'm sure he'd tell me if he knew that he was, but what if this new enemy is stalking him?

All: Bingo!

What if he got hurt? I couldn't bear that. I have to protect him. No matter what.

Determined now, Serena glanced up, mildly surprised to see that she had already arrived at her destination.

Akiko: And all she had to do was walk down the street!

Minutes later Serena knocked on Darien's door. She shifted nervously from foot to foot as she waited for him to open the door.

"Serena! Hi! Did I miss our date? I could have sworn..."

"No, Darien. It's fine. I was just in the neighborhood and decided to stop by. How are you?"

Emi: *as Darien* Miserable.

"I'm fine Serena. Look, I'm sorry to cut this short but the repairmen should be here any second," Darien said, scanning the halls for any sign of them.

"Repairmen?" Serena asked, puzzled "Why do you need repairmen?"

"One of my windows got broken last night and the building manager said that he'd send men by to fix it at around 2:00. Listen, I have to go. I'll see you at 4, okay?"

Miyu: *as Darien* And I can't tell them that I have a girlfriend!
Axl: *as Darien* They'll... they'll laugh at me and say that we were sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

That said, Darien closed the door, leaving a bewildered Serena standing in an empty hallway. Hurt, she turned to walk away. Moments later, she paused outside the elevator doors.

A broken window? How could that have happened? He lives on the fifteenth floor, so it couldn't have been a baseball or a rock, and Darien isn't clumsy enough to have broken it himself. Something strange is going on here.

Emi: *holds up a picture of Sailor Eclipse, looks at it* Um... who put devil horns and a moustache on this picture?
Miyu, Axl: *silent*
Akiko: *tosses a black marker* It came with the picture!
Emi: *tosses the picture away* Oh, well. No harm done, really.

Concerned, Serena entered the elevator and pressed the button for the lobby.

Axl: It only goes one way... down. Like how this fic will go in the next chapter.

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Later that day, when Serena and Darien met for their date, Serena paid special attention to how he behaved. Darien seemed preoccupied, not himself. He had trouble following the train of their conversation and seemed unaware of what was going on around him.

Akiko: *as Serena, thinking out loud* And why was he touching himself for hours on end?
Axl: *laughs loudly*
Miyu, Emi: *flustered*

By the end of the night, Serena was positive that something strange was going on, and was determined to find out what it was.

Axl: Too much porn. You know how Japan gets with that sometimes.
Emi: *stares at Axl* You hypocrite.

After calling the other scouts and sharing her suspicions, Serena went back to Darien's apartment building. Lita, Mina, Amy and Raye met her there. Haruka, Michiru and Hotaru soon joined them.

"Setsuna hasn't come home yet," said Hotaru "We left her a note, saying where we had gone. I'm sure she'll join us when she can."

Miyu: Nope. Sue impaled her.

"What's going on?" Michiru asked.

Serena opened her mouth and began to speak. When she had finished, all the Senshi were nodding in agreement.

All: *confused*
Emi: Did this Suethor just cut the words of the main character?!
Akiko: Yep. And Serena didn't say anything about the Sue, so that's why it's not important.

"You're right Serena." Raye said, "Something else IS going on. When I did my second fire reading, I saw a broken window. I also..." she trailed off.

"What, Raye? What did you see?" Lita inquired.

"I saw Tuxedo Mask. I saw him being attacked and...killed."

"No." Serena breathed "Oh, no. Oh, God, please, no!" Tears began welling in her eyes. Amy reached over and gave her a hug.

Axl: Man, this Suethor really made them cry over visions. I still can't get over that.

"Don't panic, Serena. Darien isn't dead yet.

Miyu: Keyword: yet.

We'll just have to follow him and make sure that nothing happens to him."

"Right." Serena agreed, sniffling and wiping her eyes.

"Okay then. Shall we transform?" asked Mina.

"Mm-hmm." They all affirmed.

"VENUS CRYSTAL POWER!"

"JUPITER CRYSTAL POWER!"

"MARS CRYSTAL POWER!"

"URANUS CRYSTAL POWER!"

"NEPTUNE CRYSTAL POWER!"

"MERCURY CRYSTAL POWER!"

"SATURN CRYSTAL POWER!"

"MOON COSMIC POWER!"

In a flash of light, eight Sailor Scouts stood at the ready.

Akiko: Of course they don't get descriptions. They're not the Sue.
Axl: Normally, I'd say that the reading audience already knows what they look like. But when you have four paragraphs describing the Sue's dull as hell outfit... yeah, that argument doesn't hold much water.
Emi: *looks at the tranformation phrases* Hey, wait a minute! This is supposed to be set after "Sailor Stars", right? That means that Sailor Moon's transformation phrase is supposed to be "Moon Eternal, Make Up" or "Silver Moon Crystal Power, Make Up"! She should be Eternal Sailor Moon! Why is she transforming into regular Sailor Moon while everyone else is transforming into their super forms?!
Miyu: *stunned* Oh, dear. I hope that's a mistake of some sort.
Axl: Great. Now the Suethor's just depowering the main character on purpose?! What the hell?!
Akiko: *goes to the kitchen* Forget the drinking game. I'm just going to down the soda and get some ice cream.

"There he is!" said Lita, pointing.

Driving his car, Darien pulled out of his garage and on to the street. He drove toward the park, unaware that eight Sailor Scouts were running after him.

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Emi: Um... how the heck is he blissfully unaware that eight girls are chasing him?
Miyu: The idiot ball's getting bigger.

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