Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Two Riffers, Episode 2: The New Girl (SerketChaos Version) (Part Three)

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5. A Feast To Remember

Kyo: This fic already feasted on Amy's soul.

With Sonic and Amy

"What the hell was that!" Sonic yelled

"What ever do you mean Sonikku?"

Angelique: Use of "Sonikku"? Minus... one million points.
Kyo: So, what grade is that? A Z... minus, minus, minus?

"WHY DID YOU JUST BLOW UP AT KEIRA LIKE THAT!"

Angelique: Because she was OOC!
Kyo: Yeah, you know me!
Angelique: *snickers*

"She was in our way love!"

"What the? I'm NOT your boyfriend no matter what and-- oh just forget it.."

"But Sonikku she was in our way "

Kyo: *As Amy, sharpens a butcher knife* Yes, Sonikku... she must die.
Angelique: Maybe we're playing "Sonic Battle" again.
Kyo: Good god, no.

"Amy! Please just be quite...I have to see how Keira is doing"

Kyo: She's probably bawling her eyes out because one person just had to be so OOC and mean to her!

With Keira

"oh it's Ok Keira " Rouge said

" No it's not...by the way what is your fave food?"

Kyo: *stunned* What the hell?
Angelique: *suddenly on the floor* Kyo, I think that this fic just knocked me out of my seat.
Kyo: *helps Angelique into her seat* Y... yeah... I can see that.

"uhh... i guess it would be a baked patato..why?

"Oh no reason just wondering! I've gotta find Sonic! "

Kyo: Holy shit, she's odd.
Angelique: That's not news to me.

Keira took off felling much better.Soon she found Knuckles

Kyo: ...and then she punched him in the face because... *plays a recording of Manic shouting "Grrrl Powah!"*

"Hey Knuckles what's your fave food?

Angelique: Why is any of this relevant?
Kyo: It's not.

" Well it would have to be a hamburger, you seem to feel better!"

"Yup,I do feel better see ya!"

Soon she had made a list of every one's fave food

Kyo: This lady's weird. She's got to be some sort of weird.
Angelique: That speaks tremendous volumes when it comes from you, Kyo.

Rouge:baked patato

Knuckles:hambugers

Tails:peanut butter cookies

Cream:chocolate chip cookies

Sonic:chili dogs

Amy:strawberries

Shadow:steak

Angelique: Wait, why did she ask Amy? She knows that Amy doesn't like her!
Kyo: Well, that's because Amy put down the butcher knife for a few seconds, making her coherent and sane.

12:30A.M

"Good every one is asleep now i can get to work" Keira whispered as she crept down stairs.

Soon she was tired but she had to keep going she still had to make 10 types of cookies,12 different types of sauce for the 20 steaks, 10 types of things with strawberries,8 types of patato and 30 different kinds of hamburgers ,with extra stuff on the side like 10 salads

Angelique: Let's ingore the fact that they could hear the pots and pans moving around... and possibly smell the food cooking, waking them up.
Kyo: Logic? What is that?

"YAWN I have to make all this food to make it up to them..."

Angelique: Honestly... you don't have to make the food this late at night. It's a very nice gesture, but... you don't have to do it.

She was almost done when she fell asleep now she only had 2 hamburgers, 4 cookies and two more salads to go.

Sonic smelled something down stairs,something like...food!

Kyo: *whacks a dunce cap off of his head*

Sonic rushed down stairs to see food every where...and in the middle Keira sleeping 'she did all this for us? even Amy?

Angelique: *sarcastically* Yes, that Amy is one horrible parasite.

so that's why she asked every one for there fave food.' Sonic slowly crept up to her and noticed she was sleeping on something it looked like a journal!

Sonic carefully slid it out from under her head and read the page that she was laying on.

Kyo: Hey, dimwit. Ever heard of a little thing called "privacy"?
Angelique: If you're not named Amy, every wrong thing that you do is okay.

Today

I can't believe Amy dosen't like me!

Kyo: *throws a razorblade at the screen*

I hope this dinner will make up for any trouble i caused wile being with Tails and the gang...I wonder if I've messed up before and no one's told me! Oh I hope not!

Angelique: She worries too much. Everyone must like her, no matter what. But... on the other hand, she is trying to gain their trust by doing this.
Kyo: I blame the mind control powers.

I don't want any one to HATE me...but it is better than back at the village ...stupid morons...well better get to work now

Keira

"Wow" Sonic said "All this to keep from messing up...I'd better wake her up so she can finish" Sonic lightly tapped her sholder and ran back up stairs.

"Wha-?...Oh the meal...I hope every one's hungry! " with that she got to work

Kyo: Wait, wait, wait... hamburgers for breakfast? Cookies for breakfast?
Angelique: No wonder there's an obesity epidemic.

When Every one Wakes Up... 7:30?

Kyo: That's what happens when you stay up all night... making cookies for breakfast. You forget the damn time.

Every one woke up to the smell of there fave foods', they all ran down stairs to see a feast prepared for them with Keira asleep.

Kyo: She's probably drooling on their food, too.
Angelique: *cringes* Stop it, Kyo.

Tails saw a note in her hand, it said

Hey every one! I'm sure your all hungry! All your Fave foods are there but I'm way to tired to stay up so go ahead and dig in! This is just my way of saying sorry for ALL of my mess up's so what are you wating for EAT! XD

"You saw the note let's dig in!" Knuckles said "Wait!" Sonic said "We have to wake the girl that gave us this and thank her ...I mean look at all the chili dogs!"

"Do we HAVE to Sonikku?"Amy said wile wrapping her arms around his waist

Kyo: *sighs* Okay, fic, we got it. Amy's evil. We got it.

"Yes,we do!"Sonic said wile pushing her off,he walked over to Keira and gently shook her

"Huh? wha-?..Oh hey guys! You didn't have to wake me up..." She said lazily

"But we had to " Sonic said "Yes, we have to thank you for this meal " Cream added

Angelique: Where did Cream come from?
Kyo: Don't know, don't care.

"Awww geez guys you didn't have to...yawn it was nothing ...really.."

"Nothing?"Shadow said for the first time in like ever"Look at the steaks! you call 'this' nothing!"

Angelique: Yes. They were actually in those tiny capsules that require water.

Tails and Knuckles were drooling by just looking at the food

"What are you people wating for? DIG IN!"

"I was wating for those words!" Knuckles said

Soon every one was sitting down and have a great time and there was tons of left overs so they could have whatever whenever! Every one stuffed and happy except Keira when she realised that Amy was glaring at her, all she could do a hope for the best.

Angelique: *sighs* This is getting incredibly tedious. Is this the fic's only plot point?
Kyo: Yes. As a matter of fact, that's almost every fic's only plot point. The "evil" OOC person has to hate the bland new girl with a wangsty backstory.

When every one was going off to do whatever every one thanked her,but Amy she wakled out and said" Keira thank you for the great meal,but you keep away from MY Sonic he's mine!Your just some LOSER that he found he would never care for some like you!" Those words had cut DEEP into Keira couldn't help it she was trying so hard to be Amy's friend but she just treated her like dirt. Keira could feel tears welling up in her eye's, Amy ONE person was WORSE than the three bullies at her village.

Kyo: *annoyed* I cannot stand this spineless Sympathetic Sue anymore. I can't take this.
Angelique: I know there are people who quietly take this form of abuse for their safety, but couldn't she just try to stand up for herself here? Sonic would back her up, right?
Kyo: Nope. In this fic, that's logic. We can't have that.

'I'm probaly better off back at the Village...

Kyo: Yes, you are. Getting real tired of your whining over here.

NO I'm never going back there I'd rather be here than back with them'

Kyo: Damn.

Keira ignored Amy and walked out the doors.

Angelique: That's it?
Kyo: Maybe this is to show that Keira's "better" than Amy. Too bad it's not working.

6. Keira's Past

Kyo: Oh, no! Please don't tell me that this is the wangst chapter!
Angelique: I thought that this was a wangst fic.

I'M SORRY MY COMP WAS BEAING STUPID SO I COULDEN'T UPDATED BUT THEN I GOT A NEW BROWSER and then it let me FINALLY update so here and SORRY

Kyo: My headache's way too big to pick that apart. I don't care. I want to get this over with.

Sonic who was making plans with Knuckles heard the door slam.

"Hey, I'll be right back!"

Angelique: Who's talking?
Kyo: The wind. I quit caring.

Sonic dashed out the door just as Rouge came in"He's got it bad huh? Knux."

"He dose? For who?"

"What are you? Romance blind? Sonic has it bad for Keira, but the poor thing is clueless and Amy's jelous if they ever get together it would be so cute,but ackward Amy would be jelous 24/7!"

Angelique: Keira obviously has mind warping powers.
Kyo: I blame the metal rod.

"Yeh ,I guess your right "

Sonic ran out side to see Keira walking away he was about to say something to her when he realised she was crying so instead he said"Hey Keira what's wrong?... come let's sit down"

Sonic walked her over to a near by bench and said again "What's wrong?" All she did was sit there,Sonic had never seen someone so upset before not even that time on ARK!

Kyo: She's so special, she can be sadder than everyone else?! *sputters* My god! What is this?!

"Sonic"Keira sniffed

"yeh" he said barely above a whisper "Do you think I'll fit in?" Sonic was dumbfounded "What of course you will! What makes you say that?!"

Angelique: Here we go...

''Amy...she's only been mean to me did I do something wrong?"

Kyo: Yes. You existed. You can practically do everything as good or as better than everyone else!

"No,no of course not"

"She's terrible! She reminds me of the Bullies at the Village..."

"The bullies' huh? sounds like you've had a rough childhood...you know talking about it might help"

"Ok...well it go's like this"

Angelique: Who's talking?!
Kyo: You know who's talking. It's just that... nobody cares to put descriptions in. And -- oh, Christ. Here we go with the past and the wangst.

"I was born into a family of royalty and I was next in line for the throne even though I was only six...

Kyo: *angry* What the hell?!
Angelique: *stunned* This is simply ridiculous.

Flash back!!!

flash back?

yes flash back

but I don't

wanna have a flash back...

flash back gosh darnit!

(first flash back beats up second flash back)

Kyo: That was as funny as a plane crash.

As I was saying...

(copyrite of Jealousy is the best policy )

Angelique: That's... not a copyright.

Flashback (may have pirate talk from sly 3)

Kyo: *flatly* Oh, joy.

A mystrous figure walking in the distance when he came to the the royal palace in a small village since this village was poor every thing was made of wood,but the palace used only the finest things in there castle so the figure set the palace on fire! "My parent's were badly wouded and I was sent to the orphange..."

Angelique: That... makes no sense at all. There would be caretakers or possibly other relatives if she was from a royal family.
Kyo: Not to mention that the village was poor, so they wouldn't even have those materials to make a fancy palace... well, unless they bilked the folks out of their money to make it. Man, this is stupid.

Keira was playing with some dollies, that's when boy's that had been there the longest came up to her

"Hey newbie...playing with dollies?"

"Yup! Wanna play?"

"Why would I want to play with a low down girl with NO PARENTS that thinks she WAS a princess,Your nothing but a Blubbering,Beat up,Waste Of Skin!...I was going to say Whale Fart but that would be too good for you!"

Kyo: And how old are these kids...?
Angelique: I have no idea, but it looks like the caretakers of this oprhanage neglected a little thing called "disclipline".

"At this point I had lost my temper"

"Why YOU LITTLE! A$$ HOLE!!!!" (who knew a four year old could have such language)

Kyo: See, we need to ban TV now. Thanks a lot.

"I AM TOO A PRINCESS AND I HAVE PARENTS!"

"THEY WILL BE HERE ANY MINUTE!!"

"WHAAAAAA!!!! Keira's hurting me and she swore!"

Angelique: Who's talking?
Kyo: Don't know, don't care.

"Keira you BAKA!" "And that's when she whipped me...ONLY the really bad students get lashed see?" Keira moved her shirt down so Sonic could see the scar on her sholder,it was long and it looked painful "Owch" Was all Sonic could say ,he didn't know what else to say so he let her continue.

Kyo: Are you kidding me?!
Angelique: At this rate, she should be arrested and tried for child abuse. But... we have to draw that tragedy out.

"After every one saw that every one advoied me so I was alone, then on my fourth day there..."

Kyo: Sympathy? What is that?
Angelique: This sounds like a terrible prison scene. *as Keira* Everyone saw my torture, but nobody wanted to talk to me.

A knock at the door was heard through out the orphanage it was Keira's old butler. The little four year old girl was shocked when she found out her paents had erm...passed away ,Keria had cried and cried and those bullies had just kept on laughing.

Angelique: Are they at an orphanage? If so, then... that doesn't make any sense.
Kyo: *to the bullies* Hey, kids! I don't know why you're laughing at her... your parents are probably dead, too!
Angelique: Kyo!
Kyo: *ignores Angelique* Yeah, not so fun when it happens to you, huh, kids?

A few years had passed and the girl was now ten! But this was a very UNhappy b-day there were no parties ,no,cake and no singing this girl HAD to be the unhappest girl on the planet!

Angelique: *bored*
Kyo: Blah, blah, blah. There are people who have it worse than you, snowflake.

but this also meant she had to live on her own now...that didn't change much those bullies still tormented her until recently she gave up and left .

END FLASH BACK!

Angelique: *curretly asleep*
Kyo: *nudges Angelique* Lili! The flashback's over.
Angelique: *wakes up* Oh, encore! *mutters* Do I get a refund for this, Kyo?
Kyo: Nah. Sonia said that I couldn't get refunds during a different fic.

Keira now burst into sob's she kept her feelings bottled up for so long and all those memories came flooding back it hurt.

Angelique: It didn't hurt me. It bored me.

Sonic knew she needed comfurting so he hugged her and let her sob into his chest,he stroked her...quills and said only the things that might calm her down.

Kyo: How 'bout some healing sex? That always works.

Amy, who was spying on them because her lovley Sonikkku never came back and she got worried!She was ANGERY though if she every tried that with Sonic he'd push her away...'Man I hate Keira!'

Kyo: I hate her as well, "Sonic Battle" Amy.
Angelique: *bored* We got it, fic. She hates Keira. We... got it. You don't have to tell us every five seconds.

Keira had finally calmed down "Thanks Sonic..."She managed to choke out "You and your Friends have been only nice and friendly to me..."

Kyo and Angelique: Except Amy.

Keira's eyes started to brim with tears again but this time they were tears of joy "Thank you!! You brought me true friends!!!!" Keira after saying that hugged Sonic again.

"Geeze Keira you act like you've never had friends before!" Sonic instantly regreted saying that, how could he forget how hard she' had it...

Kyo: *mutters in French*
Angelique: *still bored* I'm about to take a razorblade in two seconds.

"K-Keira I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!"

"No it's Ok! It's true I've never had friends before but you helped me!You were right keeping things to myself and not telling anyone was bad for me but you helped me get by it! Thanks for being there!"

Angelique: But... he didn't really do anything. As a matter of fact, nobody really did anything!

"No problem Kei-!" Keira had leaned over and once again kissed him on the cheek.

Kyo: I'm starting to wonder if she has some sort of... split personality. *as Keira* Oh, I'm an orphan! Nobody loves me! What's your favorite food?!

Amy was furious! Seeing HER Sonic sit there with a huge grin on his face and Keira was just sitting there GIGGLING! It sickend her!

Kyo and Angelique: *annoyed* We got it!

"Sonic we better get back there probaly wondering where we are!"

"Yeh I guess your right.." Sonic said rubbing the back of his neck " Sonic, you know I'm right"

Kyo: Shut your trap.

AT THE HOUSE

Knuckles was pacing around the room

"What's wrong Mr. Knuckles?"

"Sonic and Keira have been gone a long time!!! Where could they be?"

Kyo: *plays 70s porn music*
Angelique: Oh, I hope that's not happening.

The door suddenly burst down

Kyo: Is that a slang term for popping that che--
Angelique: No, Kyo!

"We'll Sonic's back..."

"Did ya miss us?" Sonic said wile giving Knuckles a playful punch in the arm

Kyo: I didn't.

"Whadda mean 'US'?"

"Oh I found Keira and we had a chat."

Knuckles eyed him with a grin on his face.

Angelique: Wonderful. Everyone just had to assume that it was all about sex.
Kyo: It's a Sue thing, Lili. Frankly, I'd be surprised if there was no sex at all in a Sue fic.

"What?! we didn't do anything we just had a chat about her past..." Sonic trailed off,he mentaly kicked him self

"Really? we don't know much about her past! What's it like?!" Knuckles asked eagerly

"It's...uhhh...Let's just say you don't wanna know and she has a scar..."

Kyo: The wangst! It burns!

"uh huh...Sonic every one has agreed that she can stay with us and be part of the group and fight Eggbutt with us!"

"AWESOME!!!!!!!!"

Angelique: Just like that? Their reaction to abuse and her being an orphan is... "Hey, she's part of the group now!"?
Kyo: They might as well tack on an "LOL" for good measure.

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