Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Four Riffers, Episode 8: New Allies or New Enemies? (Part Four)

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Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon or anything.

... - Anna's telepathic bond

/.../ - Sakura's telepathic bond

'...' - thoughts

Italics - dreaming

CHAPTER SIX

Sakura's POV

When I woke up, I noticed that I was lying on a bed beside Galactica. By the auras that were in here a little while ago, I concluded that we were in the outers' home.

Miyuki: You were unconscious and you still sensed that?! Okay, this is getting dumber by the minute.
Cassy: Fic's been dumb since the first minute, dude.

I then noticed that Galactica was waking up.

"Hey, Star," she said groggily. I smiled a bit, knowing that she's never the morning person.

Kaoru: I'm not the bad fanfiction person myself, but whatever works, I guess...

"Where are we and why are we in the same bed?"

I shook my head, amused. 'You'd think she'd be able to sense the other auras in this...well, mansion. Then again, she not exactly awake.'

Benimaru: Coming from the Sue who sensed them while she was knocked out. Yeah, that's logical.

"Morning, Galactica," I replied back. "I am pretty sure we're in the outers' mansion. I'm assuming they put us here to rest since we weren't exactly conscious at the time."

Cassy: *as Sakura* Besides, I should know. I'm the bigger Sue here.

"Oh," was all she said. I giggled a little. She can act a little silly and dumb when she barely wakes up.

Kaoru: It's probably to make herself look better in comparison.
Benimaru: This is rather petty.

"Well, what happened last night?"

"I was hoping you could tell me what happened after that youma attacked me and I lost consciousness," I told her pointedly.

Miyuki: *stares at the screen* You told us that she can be a bit silly and dumb. And now you expect her to tell you everything? Your standards are way too high, Sue.
Kaoru: No, it's just inconsistency, Miyuki.

"Oh!" she said. 'Glad to know she's finally awake.' I thought.

Cassy: *as Sakura* Too bad that she didn't wake up fast enough for me. Now I'll have to kill her.

"After I told the others about their new transformations, the youma blasted a stream of fire at you. I couldn't let you get even more injured

Miyuki: *raises an index finger* I would.

so I jumped in front of you and the fire hit me," she recalled. She shuddered. "Boy, that fire sure was painful!

Kaoru: I'm starting to wonder if she is a masochist.
Cassy: Probably. Who would happily recall getting burned?

Anyway, after that I fainted, too. But since both of our injuries are gone, I guess we got healed," she finished. "After that, I don't know what happened."

Benimaru: You did your magical Sue powers and then fell asleep. How could you remember what happened while you were knocked out?
Miyuki: Ask Sakura Sue.
Benimaru: Oh. Right...

"Well, why don't we go downstairs and ask?" I suggested, getting up. Galactica nodded and got up also. We left the room together and went down the stairs. We heard voices in a room so we stood on either side of the doorway.

Cassy: Dudes, they already know that you're in the house because they took you into it. What good will hiding do?

"-thank you, Michelle-mama," a young girl's voice said. ...Saturn, AKA Hotaru Tomoe... I heard Galactica think. I nodded.

"You're welcome, Hota," an elegant voice said, sounding like a young woman's. /Neptune, AKA Michelle Kaioh./ I thought towards Galactica.

"Well, what do we do about the two scouts upstairs?" another voice questioned. .../Uranus, AKA Amara Ten'oh./... we thought at the same time. /Time to interfere./ Galactica nodded.

Kaoru: Of course they would have to interfere. They obviously needed the spotlights on themselves again.

We both stepped into view on either side of the doorway. "What will you do about them?" I asked. It was a bit funny to see them turn so quickly at my interruption.

Miyuki: *grumbles* Oh, shut up, you scene hogging ass nugget.

Normal POV

The outers whirled around at the sudden interruption and saw Sailors Star and Galactica leaning on the doorway. "Sailor Star! Sailor Galactica!" Hotaru cried out in surprise.

"Good morning, princesses of Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto," she greeted, amusement sparkling in her eyes.

Benimaru: Who is "she"?
Cassy: *mutters* Princess Super Bullshit Sue.
Benimaru: Well... *coughs* ...at least you were specific, Cassy.

The girls at the table looked shocked for a moment, then Amara demanded, "Are your really Princess Selenity of the Moon Kingdom, Sailor Star?"

Kaoru: *sighs* Yes, she is.

Sailor Star merely smiled. Without saying a word, she raised a finger up, touched her brooch and then the star on her forehead. In a flash of light, her fuku changed into silver ribbons and bright stars that rewrapped around her body to form a dress. In another flash of light, there stood Princess Selenity in all her glory. (dramatic, I know)

Miyuki: *throws a pillow at the screen*
Cassy: Dude!
Miyuki: Be lucky that I didn't throw the couch with you three on it.
Benimaru: Yeah, about that... we like living, Miyuki.

When the outers saw the princess, they transformed and then they knelt before her.

Cassy: *as Selenity* Kiss my feet, peasants! I rule over you!

"Rise, Outer Sailors of the solar system," she said softly, regally, and with authority.

Kaoru: That's a bit redundant.
Miyuki: She also said it wonderfully, beautifully, and annoyingly.
Kaoru: That's also redundant.

Once they were all standing again, Galactica started giggling a little and Selenity pouted.

"What's so funny?" Uranus demanded.

...Typical Uranus... Galactica thought.

Cassy: I freakin' hate you. I don't know why, either. I just know that I freakin' hate you and it's bugging the hell outta me.

"It's just the way you quickly reacted," she said, still giggling. "Remember what Selenity said?"

"What did she say?" Saturn asked, confused.

All the outers turned to Selenity's pouting face. "Please, no formalities between us," she said.

They nodded in understanding and smiled. "Yes, Selenity," they chorused.

Benimaru: *confused* But... they didn't say anything. The hell, man?

Selenity sweat dropped. 'Well, I guess that it's better than Princess,' she thought.

"Who were you in the past, Sailor Galactica?" Pluto asked. "I still don't have my memories of you."

Kaoru: That's probably because she didn't really do anything.

Galactica glanced at Selenity and she nodded. Like Selenity, she first touched her brooch and then the teardrop. Her fuku changed to golden ribbons and golden dust, which fixed up to be another dress. In a flash of light, there stood Sailor Galactica in her princess form.

The outers gasped. "You're the other princess in Serenity's dream!" Pluto exclaimed.

Cassy: No duh. Who else clings to the other Sue like a damn leech?

She nodded. "In my past life, I was known as Princess Lexi Anna Galaxia of the galaxy.

Benimaru: *facepalms*
Kaoru: I've heard dumber names.
Cassy: I think that both of those flowery Sue names are equally dumb.

I am a cousin to Selenity and younger sister to Sailor Galaxia," she said majestically while making a curtsy.

Kaoru: ...I knew it.
Miyuki: Okay, refresh my memory. Someone tell me how much bullshit is in that sentence.
Kaoru: *sighs* It wouldn't make any sense because that would imply that Princess Serenity and Sailor Galaxia are also related since the two Sues are cousins. Not only that, Sailor Galaxia would've murdered her and removed her Star Seed a long time ago if she truly was her sibling.
Miyuki: Yep. This is bullshit.

When she was up, the teardrop on her circlet started glowing and so did the planetary symbols on the outers. There was a flash of light and the outers remembered the young princess who was always found with Selenity.

Benimaru: They've been stuck to each other since the beginning of this fic. That's not a surprise.

After it was over, Saturn spoke up. "I remember now. You two were practically inseparable. You were sent to Earth along with Selenity to protect her and keep her company."

"Yeah, well, she doesn't really need protecting," Lexi said, laughing.

Cassy: Yeah, considering that Sailor Super Sue's better than Eternal Sailor Moon and can heal her own injuries without any drawbacks! Seriously, why the hell is this piss poor Galaxia clone even here?!
Miyuki: Because reasons.

"How did you get your sailor powers anyway?" Uranus asked.

Kaoru: To be honest... I'm not looking forward to this answer.

"Well, we've been training for the past hundreds of years that we were on Earth," Selenity said. "I got my Cosmos powers and Lexi got her Galaxy powers about 20 years ago."

Kaoru: *stares at the screen with a tired look on her face*
Benimaru: *facepalms, groans*
Miyuki: *mouths out the word "bullshit" multiple times*
Cassy: Lame. This is lame, dudes.
Kaoru: Especially when you consider the fact that the current Senshi are reincarnated and not hundreds of years old. And there's our twenty-second sign... the Sues are a lot older than they look and they received their powers long before Mina did.

"Her name isn't really Sailor Star but Sailor Cosmos. It's to hide her true identity for now," Lexi explained.

Cassy: And it just got lamer! What the hell, man! We already have a Sailor Cosmos!
Kaoru: Yes, but Sailor Cosmos never showed up in the anime. It still doesn't make any sense, though.

"Well, you need to go to school," Selenity said, looking at the time, "and so do we."

Miyuki: Why? So you can just sit there and lord yourself over everyone again, Mom?

Selenity and Lexi started to glow, there was a flash of light, and when it was gone, the outers gasped at what they saw.

"Sakura! Anna!" Hotaru cried out. (they had de-transformed)

Benimaru: *removes his dunce cap*
Cassy: *sarcastically* No, really? I wouldn't have guessed! *normal voice* Now quit holding my hand, dude.

The others were shocked also while the princesses smiled.

"Yes," Sakura said, smiling. "In my civilian form, I am known as Sakura Cosmos. However, my full name is Sakura Moon Selenity Cosmos."

"In my civilian form, I am known as Anna Lexi. But my full name is Anna Lexi Galaxia," Anna said.

Benimaru: *points at Anna* Hey, boring satellite person. You already told them your full name. I'm sure that they're not stupid.
Kaoru: This is a fic that has two Mary Sues in it. They unfortunately have to be stupid.

"What do we tell the inners and Serena?" Amara asked.

Miyuki: Just tell 'em that they suck now that there are some Sues in the neighborhood.

"You can't tell them about us," Sakura said calmly. "It's not time for them to know yet. They will find out about us when the time is right. In the meantime, just tell them that we disappeared when you went to check on us."

"Yes, Sakura," Trista said.

Cassy: Yes, because nothing says "teamwork" like hiding secrets from the main characters!

After a little more talking,

Miyuki: ...which didn't focus on the Sues, so that clearly wasn't important...

everyone but Trista left for school, with Amara driving all of them.

There's the sixth chapter! Anyways, I hope you like it so far!

All: *completely silent*

Send me reviews! The next chapter is coming up soon. I already got started on it!

Benimaru: I'm just ready for this fic to end, ladies.
Cassy: Taking another break, dude?
Benimaru: No, I think I can handle the next chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon or anything.

... - Anna's telepathic bond

/.../ - Sakura's telepathic bond

'...' - thoughts

Italics - dreaming

CHAPTER SEVEN

After School

"Hey, Sakura, Anna!" Serena shouted. The two girls turned around when they heard their names being called.

Miyuki: ...I thought that they disappeared. Why are they with Serena?
Kaoru: Because consistency doesn't exist.

"Hey, Serena!" Anna called out while Sakura smiled politely.

"Are you guys doing anything right now?" Serena asked. Anna and Sakura shook their heads 'no' as answer.

Benimaru: Yeah, they can't do anything without leeching off of the canon characters.

"Well, would you like to come with us to the arcade?" Lita asked. "There are a lot of games there, and we can also grab a bite to eat."

"Sure, why not?" Sakura said. Anna nodded in agreement.

When they got to the arcade, they went inside and Andrew came over to them. "Hey, girls. Who're your new friends?" he asked, looking at Sakura and Anna.

"Hi, my name is Anna, and this is my cousin, Sakura," Anna introduced. "We just moved here to Juuban."

"Well, it's nice to meet you and welcome to Juuban. I am Andrew, and I work here at the Crown Arcade," he said, bowing a little. Sakura and Anna bowed a bit in return.

Cassy: I didn't know that he bowed at the arcade. Made it sound like we were in a fancy restaurant or something.
Benimaru: *sarcastically* Yeah, we all bow everywhere in Japan, Cassy.

After the introduction, they went to sit at a large booth.

A waitress came by. "Hey, Serena, looks like you've got some new friends?" she commented. The girls looked up and Serena smiled.

Miyuki: *slams her head on the table, groans* This is so freakin' repetitive! Get this crap over with!

"Hiya, Lizzie," she said. "Lizzie, these are Sakura and Anna. They're new around here. Sakura and Anna, this is Elizabeth, Lizzie for short. She's Andrew's little sister."

"Nice to meet you," Lizzie said. She raised her notepad. "Now, what can I get you?"

"Double cheeseburger and a large chocolate milkshake for me," Serena said happily.

"Medium chocolate milkshake," Mina called out.

"Just a glass of water, please," Amy said.

"I'd like a hamburger with some fries on the side and some orange juice, thank you," said Lita.

"A cup of green tea will be fine," Raye said.

"I'd like to have a slice of apple pie with a glass of orange juice please," Sakura said.

"Um, I guess I just want a banana smoothie, please," Anna said while looking at a menu.

Cassy: ...why is this here?!
Kaoru: Just to pad out the fic.
Benimaru: Fic's already padded as it is. We didn't need this stuff.

Lizzie nodded while writing down everyone's orders and then left to get them. Soon she came back while carrying a large tray. "Here's a double cheeseburger with a large chocolate milkshake for Serena, a medium chocolate milkshake for Mina, a glass of water for Amy, a hamburger, fries on the side, and orange juice for Lita, cup of green tea for Raye, slice of apple pie with orange juice for Sakura, and finally, a banana smoothie for Anna," she said, setting the food down in front of them.

Miyuki: *while her head is still on the table, groans* Just get to the plot!
Benimaru: There's a plot? Are you sure?

Everyone said their thanks and started to eat, well, in Serena's case, inhaling. Sakura and Anna stared for a few seconds at first,

Cassy: ...because Serena's clearly not as perfect as they are...
Kaoru: And she's being chastised because she's not acting like a "proper" woman.

but then shrugged and started eating themselves.

Anna's POV

As I finished my smoothie off, Serena asked, "Would any of you want to come with me to play some games?"

I nodded, but Sakura shook her head no. /I'll stay here. Keep on guard, I sense some evil vibes nearby. There's going to another attack./ I gave a nod in her direction.

Kaoru: Sakura knows when an attack is coming... out of nowhere. There's our twenty-third sign.
Benimaru: Why is that a twenty-third sign? Can Raye do that, too?
Kaoru: No, she can't. She actually has to be in the area and sense it. Sakura just has this... random plot device radar.
Benimaru: Oh.

"Let's go, Serena!" I said, dragging her away from the booth. "Are there any good games here?"

Sakura's POV

/Hotaru, Michelle, Amara, Trista?/ I called out in my mind.

'Princess!' I heard the surprised responses.

/Yes./ was my answer.

'What's happening, Selenity?' Hotaru asked. 'How are we able to communicate in each other's mind?'

Miyuki: *lifts her head off of the table* Through magical bullshit Sue power.
Cassy: Reminds me of Kyo and Emi's random telepathy.

/Oh, that./ I chuckled a little in my mind. /You were surprised last night, weren't you?/

'How did you know about that?!' Amara said, sounding surprised.

Kaoru: *sips her tea* I'm sensing another sign.

/You may not know this, but I am connected to you the same way you are connected to one another./ I started to explain. /You had enough power during the Silver Millennium to form a telepathic bond with each other and me. You regained that power when you got back your memories of me. The bond includes Anna too./

Benimaru: What the hell is this?
Kaoru: I have no idea.

'Does that mean the inners have some kind of bond, too?' I heard Trista ask.

/No. They don't have a bond yet because they don't have enough power. They will soon though./

Miyuki: *sputters while banging her head on the table*
Cassy: Dude, you're gonna have a serious knot on your forehead if you keep that up.
Kaoru: And there's the twenty-fourth sign. The guardian Senshi "don't have enough power" according to the Mary Sue.
Benimaru: Uh... but... wasn't Sailor Moon in her Eternal form before this?
Kaoru: Yes. And it still wasn't good enough for some odd reason. That's why it's a twenty-fourth sign.

'Why did you call us anyway, Selenity?' Michelle asked.

I sweat dropped. 'Guess I got distracted.' I thought to myself.

Cassy: *sees a puddle on the floor* I can see why.
Kaoru: *mops the puddle up*

/Right. You may wanna start heading to the arcade, where the rest of us are. I sense evil vibes nearby and there's probably going to be another attack./

Miyuki: "Probably"? *sarcastically* Yeah, evil vibes just totally hang around and don't try to nuke the planet or anything like that.

'We'll be on our way, Selenity,' Amara said quickly.

I smiled for a moment, thinking how nice it was to have the Outers back, when I heard a crash and the sounds of glass breaking. When I looked up, I saw the window with the glass all broken on the floor with the culprit standing in the middle of the mess.

Benimaru: Sue, if you were surprised at that, then I've lost all faith in you.

'Youma,' I thought, wincing as I heard the screams of nearby people. The girls were gone, too. 'I guess they went to transform.' The youma fired some green goo-like stuff at the wall above me. It melted part of the wall and some of it fell on me. I fell off the booth and as I landed on the floor, I felt a huge weight land on my ankle. I screamed. 'Well, that was unexpected,' I thought as I grimaced in pain.

Benimaru: *facepalms* My faith's in the negatives now.
Cassy: I thought that Sues were supposed to be so wonderful and perfect! When did she get hit with the stupid gene?
Miyuki: Please, this is a Sue fanfic. Even if she was being dumb, we aren't supposed to point that out. Just call her "wonderful" and move on.
Cassy: I'm still calling her stupid. I've called Bella Swan stupid, I've called Ana Steele completely stupid, and I'm calling her stupid.

Normal POV

The outers sensed a disturbance so they transformed in an alley and quickly ran to the arcade. They had just seen the youma shoot something when they heard a scream ring through the air. After the dust cleared away, they saw Sakura among the destroyed wall that was on the floor.

Benimaru: Please be dead so this fic can end.
Kaoru: Luckily, we don't have much of this chapter left. I guess that's a bit of sympathy there.

"Selenity!" they all screamed. They ran towards her as she started to cough from the dust.

Sailor Moon and the inners had come back just in time to see the outers yell out 'Selenity'. They were confused.

"Who is Selenity?" Venus asked. The others just shook their heads.

Miyuki: Way to leave them in the dark, jackass Sue.

"Princess, are you okay?" Uranus asked as they all knelt by her trapped form.

Sakura gritted her teeth in pain. "No offense, but my ankle is trapped by a big piece of the wall. What do you think?" she said through clenched teeth.

Cassy: Uh, you were dumb enough to let yourself get conveniently trapped like that. Don't snap at Uranus, you human ass crack.

All four outers worked together and tried to lift the piece of wall off their princess's ankle but it was too heavy.

Kaoru: I find it ironic that the wall piece was too heavy for Sailor Uranus to lift.
Cassy: Well, she isn't the physically strongest Senshi.

"Look out!" Sailor Mars yelled. The outers turned around quickly as Sakura looked up. They saw a bunch of acid flying at them and it was too late to stop!

Benimaru: Okay, who saves them? Moon? I'm guessing that it's Moon.
Cassy: Either her or the Sue partner because she's "special".

Sorry, it's another cliffhanger.

Miyuki: And it's yet another crappy cliffhanger. Are we watching "Hell's Kitchen" again?

Don't worry, I've already started chapter 8 and it will be coming out soon. So, send me reviews, and if you have any questions just send me an email.

Cosmos270

Cassy: I have a question! Why is this so mind-boggingly... ridiculous?
Kaoru: Sounds just like your average Sailor Moon fic, doesn't it?
Cassy: Yeah, I guess. At least this fic doesn't give me the urge to pop some brain bleach pills.

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