Mystery Science Theater En Masse: Origins

Mystery Science Theater En Masse (MST 'EM): Origins
"In a somewhat distant future... insert date here, A.D..."

Not a Sonic fan? Well, let's introduce this lovely group of four known as the Egg Spiral:

Sonic the Hedgehog: The well known "Blue Blur", he tends to act lackadaisical or harsh, depending on the situation. And true to his name, he's also the most impatient.
Sonia the Hedgehog: From "Sonic Underground", she's Sonic's sister, and the group's mostly deadpan riffer. She may a little vain, but she truly cares about her riffmates.
Manic the Hedgehog: Also from "Sonic Underground", he's Sonic's brother. His quirkiness keeps him relaxed most of the time.
Amy Rose: The persistent "Rosy Rascal", she is rather observant when it comes to finding most flaws.

And here's the Black Crow (characters all owned by yours truly):

Kyo Baudin-LeMaire: A pyrokinetic (and possibly pyromaniacal) fox who often goes by Kyo LeMaire, but he also uses the alias "Kyo Kumada" on occasion. He is the harshest riffer in the group, and he likes to snark on Cassy in the theater by calling her "Kitty", "Kitty Cat", or "Goth Kitty". He's also referred to as "Fox Boy" when he interacts with Jessie or Cassy, and he admits to being scared of Miyu whenever she's angry.
Miyuki "Miyu" Prower: A telekenetic fox and Kyo's girlfriend. She's clearly the calmer half of the Kyo/Miyu coupling and the only one who can calm him down (so far), but even this gentle riffer can sometimes lose her seemingly unlimited patience with certain fics or characters. She's also the only one who addresses Cassy by her full first name.
Jessica "Jessie" Baxter: A cheery and flirty human assassin and rather level-headed person. Her somewhat deadpan riffs tend to rival Kyo's and Cassy's. She has a habit of ending some of her sentences with "sweetie".
Cassidy "Cassy" Morgan: A black-furred and red-eyed cat with acrobatic abilities. Don't let the appearance fool you; she's actually one happy kitty. She tends to butt heads with Kyo when they're in the theater. She has a habit of ending some of her sentences with "dude".

There are two conflicting stories on how Sonic, his siblings, and Amy Rose ended up on the Egg Spiral.

One account has Amy working as a janitor (the sweetest face in a red jumpsuit, no less) before she was kidnapped and shot up into space. She then runs into Sonic and his siblings, who were also somehow captured. Relieved that the hammer-wielding hedgehog isn't alone in the predicament, she decides to tough out the badfics that are being sent to them from one Dr. Eggman.

A second account has Sonic falling into a bit of trouble while he is battling Eggman (similar to the beginning of "Sonic Unleashed" without the "werehog" effect). Sonia, Manic, and Amy quickly figure out that he's in trouble... only to end up captured with Sonic in the end. The four are then shot into space and forced to read badfics.

As for the Black Crow...

Four members from three different backgrounds had the unfortunate luck to end up on this satellite.

While on a mission, Jessie was sent by an unknown leader to investigate a secret weapon owned by a person only known as Mia. The weapon's name? The Black Crow. Jessie initially assumed that it was a silly killer laser. She was later proven wrong once she was captured.

Miyu Prower was an unlucky soul, for she was already on the blasted satellite. Her boyfriend Kyo was also unlucky... he managed to find Miyu, but the two lovers could not escape in time.

And what about Cassy? She was just some fool tasked with cleaning the stupid thing, and locked herself in. A terrible lapse of judgement from one perky gothic kitty.

So, why do the Black Crow members end up on the horrid end of the badfic spectrum? It turns out that Mia was expecting only Jessie to end up on the satellite. See, the two are mortal enemies of sorts, and Mia was intending to ruin Jessie's mind with the worst of the worst.

The good news? Jessie's not really fazed by all the badfics. Miyu and Cassy are holding their own as well.

The bad news? Kyo may be losing his mind with it. The guy does show some vibes of being a pyromaniac in the theater, after all.

Remember, I'm still using the Fiction ratings, so if you jumped here and never visited the Fanfiction section, here are the equivalents:
G = K
PG = K+
PG-13 = T
R = M
NC-17 = MA

M01/B01 - Da Princess in da gle club (Glee Fanfiction/Obvious Troll Fic by iluvmybfclay)
Princess, the spawn of a human and a possible unicorn, decides to ruin the canon of "Glee" in every direction. Yes, she has your basic "tragic past". Unfortunately, she also comes with the trademark Mary Sue physique.
Fic's Rating: MA
MST's Rating: M/MA
*Contains horrible lemon scenes and child abuse*
Parts: One Two

M02/A01 - Meet Shyloh (Sonic Fanfiction by Zoey-Ace)
You don't want to meet her. Shyloh is a basic hypocrite who tells you that dresses are wrong, and it's only okay to have a crush on a guy... as long as she is the one who's doing it. Prepare for hypocrisy and padding.
Fic's Rating: T
MST's Rating: T
Read it here!

M03/B02 - (Both are Pokémon fics by lancegrl1597. They are also possibly Troll Fics. Who knows, really?)
Jasukurini Sakaraemonii
with Short: Kurotsuki Yamihana
The Black Crow members tackle a bunch of Pokémon Sues with horribly done "Japanese" names. And no, there's no plot. It's just nonsense.
Fic's Rating: Both are K+
MST's Rating: T
*Contains... well, blood, I guess.*
Read it here!

M04/A02 - INFECTION (Ringu/The Ring Fanfiction by Nenshite)
The Egg Spiral crew tackle a short and plotless fic involving a "goffik" brat.
Fic's Rating: T
MST's Rating: T
Read it here!

M05/B03 - The attack of Akuma (Street Fighter Fanfiction by Kanefan300)
with Short: sonic where are you (Sonic Fanfiction by zero the hedgehog)
Headdesk at the badly done sentence structure in the short! Laugh at the abused characterization in the main feature!
Fic's Rating: Both are T.
MST's Rating: M
*Short has nothing of importance. The main feature contains a terrible abuse of language.*
Read it here!

M06/A03 - Special "Holiday" Article, "6 mistakes men make on Valentine's Day" by Piper Weiss (Original is [here])
Crappy V-Day! The S.U. and Amy riff on a silly article.
Article's Rating: K
MST's Rating: K+/T for the group's sparse language.
*The hyperlinks are removed in the MSTing. If you'd like to see the actual links, go the article itself.*
Read it here!

M07/B04 - Special "Holiday" Articles: A Quadruple Valentine's Whammy
10 Valentine's Day Gifts Decoded by Diana Vilibert (Original is [here])
What His Flowers Really Mean by Rich Santos
10 Things We Hate About Valentine's Day by Diana Vilibert
10 Great Things About Being Single on Valentine's Day by Diana Vilibert
Did you think that the V-Day article for the Egg Spiral was bad? Well, these are even worse, thanks to the underlying resentful undertones seen in the first, third, and fourth articles.
Article's Rating: All of them are K/K+
MST's Rating: T/M, thanks to Kyo's anger, and Jessie and Cassy's slight innuendo.
*The hyperlinks are removed, and some of the text in bold has been modified to avoid confusion. If you'd like to see everything untouched, go the articles.*
Read it here!

M08/S01 - Ultimate (Sonic Fanfiction by ShadowPzzat11/ShadowPat11)
Dusk, another one of those Stu hedgehogs who just happened to be made by Gerald Robotnik, decides to make some trouble by trumping everyone without breaking a sweat. So, how do you defeat a Stu? Why, you become an even bigger Gary Stu yourself! The Egg Spiral and Black Crow members keep getting the "fact" that Dusk is "powerful" crammed down their throats, and that is causing their collective patience to hang by a thread.
Fic's Rating: T
MST's Rating: M for language.
*This is an "Epic Failure" fic, meaning that the material in question angers all of the riffers.*
*The first three chapters are riffed from the FF.Net version, while the fourth is riffed from the NetRaptor.Org version.*
*Character death and gruesome violence warnings.*
Parts: One Two Three Four

M09/A04 - Defying Destiny (Twilight Fanfiction by cullengirl13xxx)
What plot? In this near rip of the original book, a "Tragic Past" Mary Sue knocks Bella over so she can get into Edward's pants.
Fic's Rating: M
MST's Rating: T/M thanks to some innuendo from Amy!
*Minor violence and language warnings.*
*The fic's been modified slightly to keep the MSTing's format, but of course, the text's still untouched and all.*
Parts: One Two Three

M10/B05 - Sky Blue (Sonic Fanfiction by necko girl)
The Black Crow members are becoming a little morbid this time around. Hopefully, you'll keep your sanity as you're reading this fic, which involves Sonic's twin sister falling in love with... yes, guess who. Also, what causes the normally patient Miyu to lose her head for a short while?
Fic's Rating: T
MST's Rating: T, with sparse harsh language
Parts: One Two Three

M11/A05 - The White Hedgehog (Sonic Fanfiction by Jenny Blue)
In this generic sounding title, we're introduced to Kathryn, the long-lost older sister of Amy Rose. She's also a ridiculously huge Mary Sue who derails an already screwed up canon to Hell and a bigger Hell. The Egg Spiral members must have been taking some riffing tips from the Black Crow and ratcheted it up to some strange levels, because they easily show that they hate Kat as much as they hate hearing about Charlie Sheen "winning".
Fic's Rating: ~~G for Godawful~~ M (FF.Net Rating)
MST's Rating: M for language.
*This is another "Epic Failure" fic.*
*The first six chapters are riffed from the MediaMiner version, while the seventh is riffed from the FF.Net version.*
*Fic's been modified slightly to keep the MSTing's format.*
Parts: One Two Three Four Five

Also: Here are the Obscure References for the Egg Spiral and the Black Crow fics for the season.
And: Here are the Obscure References for their special.
And: These are the Behind The Scenes for this season. This is where I place all of my thoughts as I was working with these fics.

"The Mary Sue seduces her mate with her abnormally large breasts before she moves in for the kill..." - Miyu, "Da Princess in da gle club"
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