Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Black Crow Crew, Episode 3: The attack of Akuma (Short: sonic where are you)

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1. sonic!

Miyu: McCloud!

this is a sonamy\shadamy fanfic.

Kyo: Oh? The Piko Piko girl on the Egg Spiral's getting her men now!

okay so sonic goes missing

Jessie: ...and then his face ends up on milk cartons everywhere.

so shadow feeling sorry for amy dates her

Miyu: Because that's exactly what Shadow does. He hurts inside, you know.
Cassy: I guess all that loneliness is really killing him in more ways than one--
Miyu: Please don't start today, Cassidy.

2 endings by the way!

Cassy: Is this fic an RPG?

R&R.

Kyo: Rail and Road? Hmm.

chapter 1

sonic!

Cassy: Stella!

Amy sat at the tabel

Cassy: Um, where the hell is the table located?
Kyo: In the middle of the Pacific?
Cassy: Fair enough.

she smiled big

Jessie: Big enough to take up three quarters of her face.

Sonic had finally asked her out on a coulde go wronge?

Miyu: Everything?
Jessie: Including the fact that he asked her out on a... could go wrong.

Alot!

Miyu: Huh. Right on the nail.

Amy looked out the window to see a van parke outside her house.

Cassy: Three men in masks then jumped out and attempted to kidnap the pink hedgehog for ransom.

A green hedghog jumped out and then a female pink\purpel wonderd who they went to her door and knocked.

Jessie: That was the most confusing sentence I have ever read in my life.

"Hey is any one home yo?"said the green hedghog.

Kyo: *as Manic* I'm either a surfer dude or a stereotypical "gangsta"!
Cassy: I'm pretty sure a certain someone on the Egg Spiral's set to kick your ass, dude.
Kyo: *ignites a flame* Let him try, Kitty.

"Yes." said answerd the door."Hey are you by any chance amy rose?"saide the green hedghog.

Miyu: *as Amy* No, I'm Mike Tyson. Of course I'm Amy Rose!

(I am geting sicke of calling him that he is manic.)

Jessie: You lazy bastard.

Her reply was of cours."YES i am ,why?" "Well than we have some bad news yo."The green hedghog said.

Jessie: *as Manic* I have to end all my sentences with "yo". I'm such a dude, remember?
Cassy: Wouldn't it save a lot if space if he just typed "Manic"? Jeez.

"can it wait,I have a date whith sonic the hedghog."

Kyo: *as Manic* Yeah, about that... it turns out that you turned him off of girls because you were chasing him around all the time. He's banging Shadow now.
Miyu: Kyo!
Kyo: What? You'd probably stay on the same side of the street if that happened to you. As a matter of fact... that's not that bad of a thought.
Miyu: Stop it. You're such a pervert, Kyo.
Kyo: *grins* I know.

He looked at the grounde and said"it`s abot sonic."

Miyu: *as Manic* See, I dared him to eat one hundred chilidogs, and... well... you figure it out.

"What the hell do you mean ?" he gulped and said "h- he- he might be dead."

Jessie: *as Manic* See, Shadow got sick of being called a "faker". Draw your own conclusions.

"Whaaaaat!"she shouted. He looked down and said"he might be dead

Cassy: *as Amy* Whaaat!
Kyo: *as Manic* Nah, I'm just fuckin' with ya! You've been Punk'd, girl!

I`m his brother Manic

Miyu: Which will probably be the only indication that "Manic" is used in place of "the green hedgehog". Lazy writing's fun.

bet you sonic never mented me are Sonai,our sister who is standing behinde me."

Kyo: That's because they're from a show that two people watched.
Cassy: You're going to Hell, Fox Boy.
Kyo: Already there, Goth Kitty. I'm stuck on this satellite reading crappy fics with you.
Cassy: Touché, Monsieur LeMaire.

Amy looked licke she was going to die then she shouted,"Sonic!"

Jessie: *as Iori Yagami* Kyooooooooo!
Kyo: What?
Jessie: Oops. Nothing, darling.

end chapter one.

Cassy: Yeah, considering that the chapter was basically one long ass run-on sentence...

2. 4 months ago

well this is my

update chapter 2

Miyu: *as the author* And I'm typing... like William Shatner.

it has my fan made chaters

Cassy: Cheaters? So they snuck themselves into this mess?

such as ronic the hedgehog,

Jessie: *slaps her forehead* Oh, god.
Kyo: God ain't helping us today, Jessie.

inkflame the hedgehog.

Miyu: I can only imagine exploding oil wells now...

zero the hedgehog

Miyu: Um, how many fan characters or people have to be named "Zero" again?
Jessie: Too damn many.

zero is sonic`s cousin , ronic his his younger bro.

Cassy: No wonder Sonic may have killed himself.
Kyo: Wait, wait, wait... this guy refuses to type "Manic", but will type something stupid like "Ronic"? Where's the logic in that?
Jessie: There is none. And stop looking for logic.

inkflame is a science project created as shadows brother using similar things

Jessie: ...like trumping Shadow in everything.

OK this chapter takes place 4 months before chapter 1.

Kyo: As if we couldn't tell.

chapter 2

4 months ago.

Kyo: As if we still couldn't tell.

sonic was laying down a blur of white passed sonic jumped up and shouted.

Miyu: Why does every single hedgehog need super speed? Jeez.

"Damn it Zero why did you do that?"

Cassy: Because their relatives loved Sonic more.

The white hedgehog stopped and said "Why the hell do you think?"

Kyo: Because he's hopped up on smack?

"Because you are a dick!"

Jessie: *as Zero* Well, sorry, man. I didn't know it was illegal to run. Hypocrite.
Cassy: You know we have a problem if Sonic's swearing more than Kyo.
Kyo: Hey!
Miyu: No, Cassidy's right...

"No,it`s because i was thinking about, Blaze."

Miyu: You may want to rethink that. Obvious reasons.
Cassy: I thought we already didn't have to. We should forget about "Sonic '06", you know.
Kyo: Yeah, thanks for breaking the fourth wall and then some, Kitty.

Sonic looked flabbergasted then said "what about her?" Zero looked down and said"she`s very beautiful."

Jessie: *as Zero* I can only look at her from far away. Restraining order, man.

Sonic grinnd a funny smile and then he said "then you should tell her how you feel."

Kyo: *as Sonic* Well, that's if the restraining order can permit you to do so. You're on your own, buddy.

Zero replied with"I will when you tell Amy how you feel."

Cassy: Ever heard of the term "a snowball's chance in Hell"?

Sonic looked pissed and said "shut the hell up you dick!"

Miyu: Does Sonic really need to curse every other sentence? This is quite bothersome.

Zero grinned,And said"that`s more I like it,so Sonic how do you feel about Amy,I`ll tell you how I feel about Blaze."

Jessie: I can never understand this. It's like the sentence is in a telephone booth with thirteen people.
Kyo: You stand a better chance if you're in the booth with thirteen supermodels, you know.
Cassy: Don't overuse the supermodel "jokes", Fox Boy.

Sonic smiled and said "I love her okay." Zero said "same way I feel about Blaze I love her so what."

Cassy: A foursome is in their future.
Miyu: Ick.

end chapter 2

Jessie: You sure that was a chapter?

okay so I only used 1 oc so what,

Cassy: And the rest are spared, thank goodness.
Kyo: *flatly* See, he responded to his audience with "So what". How edgy.

if you have an oc are more and you want to let me use them give me the info about them including love intrest okay.

Kyo: We are not animals! We shall not be abused!
Miyu: Um...
Kyo: One sec, Miyu. I'm on a roll here.
Cassy: Yeah, well, you failed.

The attack of Akuma

Jessie: Since when did Akuma attempt to kick everyone's ass?
Cassy: Since the "Street Fighter" cartoon?
Jessie: Doesn't really count, sweetie.

After Ryu and Ken Defeated they all went to have dinner in Guiles House.

Miyu: Wait, were they defeated or did they defeat someone? I hate not knowing things.

Then Akuma comes out of nowhere and starts to talk

Kyo: Ah, so he's a shadowy ghost. Just like Kusa--
Jessie: Hey, stop drawing parallel paths, Kyo!

Akuma daid "I'm here for a different challenge I have defeated all of the best fighters in the world I want a new challenge someone that I haven't fought before."

Cassy: At least battle your palette swap. Then you'll be on equal footing.

Chun-li said, "I will fight with you asshole I you want to fight with me"

Kyo: I, you, me... good lord, woman! I hope you can fight better than you can speak!

Akuma said, "fine you asshole I will fight with you."

Miyu: Um, does everyone have to curse in this? It kind of detracts from the "honor" in the battle, you know.

Akuma beat up Chun-li in less than a minute and started to laugh diabolically.

Jessie: *as Akuma* Well, that was boring. I wonder what's on the Playboy Channel tonight...
Kyo: *snickers* You're something else, Jess.

Every one started to fight with AKuma but he beaded everyone in the party.

Kyo: He gave them his beads? What?

Ryu attacked him in the back and Akuma felt pain.

Cassy: Oh, that was a relief. For a minute there, I thought Akuma turned into Mr. Stamper.
Jessie: Stamper? I think Renard's a more logical comparison.

Akuma said, "Hey motha fucker why did you attack me behind my back?"

Miyu: Why is Akuma sounding like he fell out of a blaxploitation film?

Ryu said, "because you were attacking my friends and no one attacks them you ugly bastard."

Jessie: Our hero, ladies and gents!
Kyo: Yeah, I'm pretty sure you've called him a "hero" on more than one occasion...
Jessie: Bite me, Fox Boy.

Ken interfered in the battle Akuma grab him and started punching him in the floor

Cassy: A complete beatdown! That's gotta suck if you're actually going into the floor!

and throw him to the pool and Ken started to bleed very badly.

Jessie: What, was the pool filled with glass?

Ken said, "who can stop him this guy?'

Miyu: Proper sentence structure, please?

Ryu said, "Well I don't know the answer to your question."

Kyo: *as Ryu* I'll kick his ass, okay? You all can stop reading now.

Akuma said, "We will met in another time my friend and see you later punk."

Jessie: I don't feel lucky.

Ryu said, "Come back here you asshole I'm not talking with you."

Cassy: *as Akuma* Whatever, dude. I'm not gonna listen, anyway.
Miyu: Um, why does Ryu want Akuma to come back if he's not going to talk to him?
Jessie: Because he needs a friend.

The next day Guiles house was a big mess when Akuma came the party was ruined when he came to invade the place.

Miyu: Man, Guile must've been too lazy to clean up the mess.
Kyo: He's a family man. *sarcastically* He does not clean houses. That's the...
Miyu: *stares at Kyo*
Kyo: Yeah, I'll shut up now.

Guile said, "What a party it was yesterday guys?"

Cassy: Yeah, people got beheaded, Ken nearly bled to death. *gives a sarcastic thumbs up* Awesome party, dude.

Ryu said, "Yes what a party it was and an unsuspected surprise it was for all of us from the guy named "Akuma".

Miyu: *as Ryu* Yeah, he was some guy that allegedly killed my master. Don't know why I never knew his name until now, but hey.

Who does he think coming out of nowhere and starts attacking all of us and beating the hell out of us for no reason?"

Jessie: Hey, I have his answer on this paper here. It says, "I did it for the lulz."

Guile said, "How are you feeling after that "Akuma" guy beat you up badly."

Kyo: *as Ryu* Dude, he emasculated me in front of my woman. She won't do me now.
Jessie: I hate you so much, Kyo LeMaire.

Ken said, "That asshole is going to give us a reason why did he beat me up very badly."

Cassy: And you'll get it. Well, once he beats it out of you again. When he beats you up very badly.

Ryu said, "When I find him hope that I beat the hell out of him very quickly and end this war forever and forever.

Cassy: What war?! This silly crap only lasted two minutes so far!
Kyo: *snickers* Forever and forever...
Miyu: Um, Kyo?
Kyo: *laughing* Sorry!

Ryu's phone started ringing

Jessie: Holy crap! Sakura taught him how to use technology!
Cassy: *as Ryu* Weird... why do I have a creepy children's song playing instead of my usual ringtone?

and he picks it and he hears a weird laugh and Ryu starts getting mad.

Miyu: *in a creepy voice* Seven days, Ryu...

Ryu said, "When I find you I hope that you will be gone for what you have done to my friends on the other night."

Jessie: What about what he did on the third day of Christmas?
Cassy: Um, Jess?
Jessie: Sorry. What about what he did on the third day of that holiday where non-denominational gifts are exchanged?
Miyu: ...
Kyo: Did you really have to fluff that up, Jess?

Akuma said, "that will never happen my friend hahahahaha."

Kyo: *as Akuma* Oh, and do you have Prince Albert in a can?

Then Ryu throws the phone on the sofa and starts getting madder

Cassy: Don't make me madder!

and leaves his home to find the guy that did this to him.

Miyu: His home? I thought we were in Guile's house!
Kyo: Maybe Ryu's a reverse squatter.

While looking for Akuma he finds an abandoned place house to stay for a while, he sees the pictures of someone and he recognizes the person in the picture and he throws it and he leaves the place immediately.

Jessie: I'm in your house, trolling your memories...

Ryu goes to visit Ken to check if he has recovered from the injuries. Then he decides to get rid of Akuma for good.

Cassy: And before that, Ryu performed in the musical "Oklahoma!".

Ryu goes to Ken's room to talk to him for a while

Ken said, "Hey Ryu get rid of that asshole of Akuma for me okay."

Ryu said, "That's what I'm going to do to that son of a bitch of Akuma."

Kyo: Son of a bitch, you asshole!

While Ryu is leaving the building, he sees a shadows pass by he turns and he sees Akuma on top of the tree.

Miyu: So, he leaves the building to find Akuma on top of the tree. Now, where the heck are we?
Jessie: GPS City.

Akuma said, "I challenged you in a match to the death my enemy."

Cassy: *as Akuma* Well, I did, but I got distracted and crank called you instead. It was hilarious.

Ryu said, "Fine I accept your dame challenge you son of a bitch."

Miyu: Hey, leave the dames out of this!

Akuma said, "The challenge has been accepted."

Kyo: *as Akuma* We shall play Strip Poker, punk.
Miyu: *gags*

Ryu said, "So where are we going to fight."

Jessie: *as Akuma* Somewhere in Las Vegas. I'm being managed by Don King, mind you.
Kyo: How fitting. They both have the same hairstyle.
Jessie: Oh, stop.

Akuma said, "Were going to fight in an abandoned factory like to blocks away from here tomorrow at noon, I will see you there."

Cassy: *as Ryu* Can't it wait? I gotta check out the lunch rush traffic, and...

Ryu said, "I will be there and this will be your last match of your damn life."

Miyu: For Akuma shall never play chess in this unnamed city again!

Akuma said, " See you tomorrow punk."

In the next morning, Ryu went to the abandoned factory. First he thought he went to the wrong place.

Jessie: Yeah, because people were there, ruining the meaning of an abandoned factory.

Then he saw a weird shadow coming from nowhere and he saw Akuma.

Kyo: Because Akuma was really Kusana--
Cassy: Hush up!

Akuma said, "Let's start this fight soon okay."

Miyu: *as Akuma* I totally grow weary from the wait, punk.

Ryu said, "You are going to die."

Jessie: *as Akuma* I know you are, but what am I?

The both of them started to fight each other to the death. Each of them receives deadly attacks to each other.

Kyo: Whoops, there goes Ryu's spleen and half of Akuma's brain.

Akuma said, "That's all you got?"

Ryu said, "No that was just practice."

Cassy: Then why didn't he practice earlier?
Miyu: Because he was too busy slipping out of character. I believe that's enough practice there.

Akuma did the Tornado Air Slashing Kick on Ryu but he survived.

Kyo: But that people slashing kick was another story.
Jessie: Ah, ha, ha, ha... get out, Kyo.

Ryu did a dragon punch on him and Akuma fell 16 ft. high.

Miyu: I was just as confused as the next person when it came to deciphering that sentence.
Kyo: Miyu... he fell up. Akuma can really defy the hell out of gravity.

Akuma said, "You won't kill me with that lame attack."

Jessie: Of course he won't. Everybody spams that stupid attack!

Ryu got really mad at Akuma so he fires punch him so hard that he bleed.

Cassy: After that, Akuma calls for his mommy.

Akuma said, "Not bad for some poser like you."

Kyo: So... Akuma has degenerated into a swear slanging teenager. What the hell?

Then Ryu uses the Hadouken on Akuma and he kills him and his body disappears

Miyu: The only thing missing is a chalk outline.

Ryu goes to visit Ken and tells him everything what happened

Jessie: *as Ryu* And then he hit me, and then I went "pow", and then he died.
Cassy: *as Ken* Your storytelling's shit, man!

Ken said, "His he gone for good?"

Ryu said, "Yes, he is gone for good and I hope that I don't see him again."

Cassy: *as Ryu* I've also removed him from my friends list on Facebook.

Then they start talking about other stuff

Kyo: *as Ken* So, Ryu... did ya bang any hot chicks lately?
Jessie: *glares at Kyo* Shut... up.

The next day

Every one celebrated the defeat of Akuma and everyone was happy that ken had recovered from his injuries.

Miyu: Well, until he got thrown into that glass pool again.

Finally, they all had a happy ending

Cassy: Until the next party's thrown, and we get another random ghost, of course.

THE END

All: Or is it?

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