Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Special Episode 1: Ultimate (Part One)

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Warning: This fic contains the following:

-Excessive violence (Parts Two and Three)
-Character death in Part Three.

Proceed with caution.

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1. The Coming of Dusk

Amy: You mean sunset?
Sonic: You wish.

"Sayonara, Shadow the Hedgehog."

Sonia: And konnichiwa, whatever we're getting.

"Maria! No!" Shadow screamed, but it was too late.

Manic: For there were no more free sandwiches to hand out.
Jessie: Because the antidote for the snake venom had run out before he could take any.

Maria had already pushed the button, sending the pod he was in towards the planet Mobius.

Sonic: Good evening, and welcome to Space Colony ARK Podlines...

As he began to lose conciseness, Shadow caught a glimpse of something. It seemed to be a hedgehog, flying down to Mobius from the colony. "That's impossible. I was the only hedgehog on the colony..."

Amy: *as Shadow* Oh, god. Does that mean that I'm going to be trumped by a recolor?
Cassy: I will so rip my fur off if that's true, dude.
Kyo: Great, give me another excuse to go blind, huh?
Miyu: Stop it, you two...

Shadow awoke from his slumber, gasping. He had that nightmare ever since the incident on Ark.

Sonia: Unfortunately, crappy nightmares always come true in fics like these.

But he was not expecting to have a dream this time.

Manic: Of course not, now that he's awake!
Amy: Or is he?
Cassy: *hums "Twilight Zone" theme*

He looked around. He had no idea where he was.

Sonic: All bets are on "Hell".
Kyo: Actually, I'm shooting for the opening for any "Twilight" film, Sonic. Hell on Earth.

"I'm alive?" He said.

Sonia: So... Shadow's God?
Miyu: And... His children are scantily clad Sonic Sues?

Just then, a duck and a walrus walked into the room.

Sonic: They were secret lovers.
Jessie: I don't want to imagine what their offspring would look like. I've read some of those bad male pregnancy fics before. *mumbling* Two hours of my life that I'm never getting back...

They were startled when they saw that he was awake.

Cassy: Of course. Shadow is God.
Manic: And for stupid PC purposes, we must now apologize to those who do and don't worship God. Great job, Cass.

Shadow jumped up and pinned them both against the wall.

Amy: *as Stewie Griffin* Where's my money, man?!

"Where am I?" he asked angrily.

Sonic: Again, you're in Hell, young Shadow.
Kyo: Pfft. You want a real Hell? I'm now changing my vote to "Being a male guest on the Maury Show".

Before the two had a chance to respond, a squirrel in a blue vest ran in.

Manic: Rocky?
Sonia: No...

"Please, stop!" she begged, and the look in her eyes reminded him of Maria and convinced him to put the two down.

Miyu: *pushes glasses up* Oh, my. That's quite a bland cop out there.
Amy: Jeez, everyone just reminds this guy of Maria, huh?
Everyone else: *stares at Amy*
Amy: Oh. Whoops.

Again, he asked, "Where am I?"

Sonic: H--
Sonia: Burger World. Care to spin again, dear brother?
Kyo: I'm going to change my vote again. It's--
Jessie: Here! Try here, Kyo!

The squirrel nodded and replied. "You're in Knothole. I am Princess Sally Acorn, and you have already met Rotor and Dr. Quack," Sally said, pointing over at the duck and the walrus, "Who are you?"

Manic: *as Shadow* I'm the target of hormonal Sonic Sues everywhere. I'm dark and edgy. I--
Amy: *as Sally* Yeah, okay. Your name, please?

"I am Shadow the Hedgehog, the ultimate life form created by Gerard Robotnik" Shadow answered.

Miyu: Or Gerald Robotnik, your call.
Cassy: Or Gerard Way. Again, your call.

Noticing the looks he received from the three, Shadow shook his head. "Do not worry, he is dead, and I currently have no ties to the Robotnik you know."

Jessie: Yeah, until a little word called "blackmail" reared its ugly, pulsating head...

"Okay, but what happened to you? We found you in the middle of the woods yesterday." Rotor told him. When he heard this, Shadow looked confused.

Kyo: *as Shadow* What the hell are these "woods" that you speak of?

"I'm not sure. I remember stopping the colony from crashing on Mobius with Sonic's help-." He began, but was quickly interrupted by Sally.

Sonia: *as Sally* Hold on, I just need to swoon for a moment. You said Sonic's name...
Amy: ...
Cassy: And so, our Black Hedgehog arrived from the Heavens, and He--
Everyone else: Thank you, Cassidy!
Cassy: Wow; I'm used to Miyu cutting me off, but her and six others?

"You were with Sonic? Is he alright? What about the others?" she asked; a look of concern present in her eyes.

Miyu: Hmm, Sonic always seems to come first to her, am I correct?
Sonic: Uh...
Amy: *grumbles*

"He is fine, as far as I know. I remember falling...but I can't remember anything else."

Manic: *as Shadow* It's like... being on a terrible LSD trip.
Cassy: Yeah, you'd probably know, dude.
Manic: Hey...

"Maybe this will jog your memory," Dr. Quack said, as he pulled out a chaos emerald, "We found this in your hand."

Sonic: Can he use it as a remote to speed up this fic?
Jessie: Oh, come on, Sonic.

Shadow looked at the emerald, and then he said "I remember now.

Amy: Is the emerald a crystal ball now?
Miyu: It looks that way, yes.

I was falling, and then I saw a chaos emerald falling also. I grabbed it, and used chaos control to teleport me safely to the ground. I must have passed out soon after."

Sonia: See, this should've set the stage for "Sonic Heroes", but...
Jessie: Turned into nightmare land there?
Sonia: Yes.

"Chaos control?" the three asked.

Sonic: *as Shadow* No, pizza delivery. Of course it's Chaos Control!

Realizing their lack of knowledge on this subject, Shadow explained it to them. "It is when I use a chaos emerald to move at hyper speed."

Kyo: *as Shadow* Like right now! Later, suckers!

Nodding, Rotor then said, "Tell us about what happened on Ark, please."

Sonia: Ooh! Ooh! I hope he tells them this story over a campfire while they have S'mores!
Miyu: *pushes glasses up* S'mores? Oh, they're quite enjoyable, yes.

Shadow told them how he and Sonic stopped the colony from crashing on the planet.

Manic: Yeah, sure! Don't give us a flashback or anything! Jeez!
Cassy: Use your imagination. That's why it was there.

While he was talking, Sonic, Tails, Amy, Knuckles, and Rouge walked in the hut.

Jessie: They were all replaced by monotonous voiceovers.

"Hey, Sal-"Sonic said, but he stopped when he saw Shadow. They all did.

Amy: Jeez, this narration sounds boring.
Sonic: Sonic got up. He stretched. He sat back down.

"Shadow?" Tails asked in disbelief, having last seen the black hedgehog sacrifice himself to save Mobius from the plummeting space colony.

Miyu: But it wasn't Shadow! It was his clone!
Everyone else: Huzzah!

"We thought you were dead," Knuckles said, flabbergasted at the sight of Shadow.

Kyo: *as Knuckles* Damn. That emo hedgehog didn't get nuked.

"How did you survive?" Rouge asked.

Manic: *as Shadow* Via ass pull.

It was clearly visible that she was happy to see Shadow, even more so that the others.

Amy: This is why lemons were made.
Cassy: Uh... Amy the pervert...?
Amy: *blushes* N-no! I was just saying--
Sonia, Cassy: Uh-huh.

With that, Shadow told them all of how he saved himself from his impending doom.

Jessie: No, we still don't need that flashback. Thanks, anyway.

Soon afterwards, Knuckles decided that it was time to return the Master Emerald to Angel Island.

Sonic: Later, he was robbed by Rouge... in a sexy way.
Kyo: And then the Master Emerald broke. Again.
Miyu: *as Knuckles* Oh, that's just great!

After saying their goodbyes, Shadow began to disembark.

Manic: He was set to "climb" Mt. Everest.

"Where do you think you're going?" Amy asked, mirroring the thoughts of everyone else in the hut.

Cassy: *as Shadow* What, I can't get a drink of water or something? Cut me some slack here!

"I believe I've overstayed my welcome. So I'm going to leave..." Shadow said, looking back at his friends.

Amy: *as Shadow* Besides, my Chaos Emerald/Crystal Ball foretold my future. I'll be doomed if I continue to stay.

"No way," Sonic said. "I'm sure that we've got an extra hut around here somewhere."

Sonic: *as himself* No, wait... that one's got buttloads of bugs in it.

Tails added, "And if not, then we can build one! It's the least we can do!"

Miyu: *as Shadow* Well the offer really is nice, but... Chaos Control!

Shadow, smiling at this act of kindness, took the offer graciously.

Manic: The moment he smiled was also the same moment that Mount Rushmore exploded.

Sixth months later, Shadow still enjoyed his life at Knothole. He had helped the Freedom Fighters on many occasions, and was considered an honorary member.

Sonia: This isn't really terrible... but isn't Shadow an Anti-Hero?
Everyone else: Yep.
Sonia: Huh.

One day, a message came through on the main moniter, and all of the Freedom Fighters, including Shadow, went to see what it was bout.

Sonic: Oops. Someone spilled some water on the technology.

The screen showed Knuckles and the Chaotix. "Guys, something is attacking Station Square, we're on our way, but you guys should come too."

Kyo: *as Knuckles* Oh, wait. We overanalyzed it... we over magnified a worm. Go back to your daily lives, guys.

"What is it, one of Robotnik's robots?" Amy asked.

"No, from what people are saying, it's a hedgehog."

Amy: Fifty bucks says it's a recolor.
Manic: Fifty bucks says that it owns everyone... well, everyone with battle abilities, at least.
Jessie: I'm starting a pool, then.

Suddenly, the memory of the hedgehog flying down from Ark flashed across Shadow's mind. He began to fall, but Sonic caught him.

Cassy: *in a southern voice* Oh, my stars! I do declare!
Sonia: Hey, Shadow must have taken some tips from Shyloh and did a girly swoon!
Kyo, Miyu, Jessie, Cassy: Who?
Sonia: Oh, never mind.

"Are ya okay?" Bunnie asked.

Sonic: *as Terry Bogard* Buster Wolf!
Kyo: *as Terry Bogard* Stand up!

Shaking off the sensation, Shadow replied, "I'm fine. Let's go"

Sonic: Care to add a punctuation to that sentence
Amy: Hey, where's your punctuation?
Kyo: Hes too cool for that Amy
Amy: Yeah...

When they got to Station Square, half the city was destroyed. "Vhat could du zees?" Antoine asked.

Kyo: ...
Manic: Vhy ees zees...
Kyo: *stares at Manic*
Manic: Oh, never mind.
Sonic: You're telling me that whoever did this... did it because they could?
Amy: Perfect Chaos: Part Two.

When they landed, Knuckles and the others were already there.

All: Dur-hay!

Knuckles was fine for the most part, but the members of the Chaotix were injured.

Miyu: Wow, I guess that over magnified worm wasn't as wimpy as we thought.

Standing before them was a hedgehog that looked almost exactly like Shadow, only violet and blue instead of black and red. The only significant difference was that his quills bent downwards much like Sonic's, though they still maintained the streaks.

All: *screams*
Sonic: I demand to be flung out of this satellite!
Manic: I want to go into a fetal position in the corner...
Amy: *rubs head* No... just... no... I don't even care that I've won fifty bucks.
Sonia: I'd rather have Kyo burn me to death...
Kyo: *ignites a flame* Really? Well, let's get started, honey.
Miyu: Kyo... would you extinguish that, please?
Kyo: Pfft. Fine.

The hedgehog smiled confidently as he watched the newcomers step out of the jet.

Jessie: Since when did these guys own a jet? From hidden lottery winnings?
Amy: *sighs* Complete Gary Stu commences ownage in two minutes...
Cassy: I guess Jessie still has that... kitty over there, right?
Everyone else: Get out, Cassidy!
Cassy: What?! It is a kitty!

Shadow and Sonic dashed ahead to where Knuckles was. "Hey, Knux, are you okay?" Sonic asked.

Manic: *as Knuckles* Okay, look at me... and now look at the Chaotix. Do the math!

"I'm fine, but this guy is extremely powerful. I can't even touch him" Knuckles replied, regaining his breath.

Sonia: Probably because he reeks of onions. I don't know...

"Who are you?" Shadow asked as he turned his head to the powerful stranger.

Sonic: Okay, author... we got it, he's powerful...

"Who am I? I am Dusk the Hedgehog,

Miyu, Cassy: ...
Manic: *smacks his forehead*
Jessie: Can I just go break my neck now?
Sonia: Can you break mine first before you do that, please?
Sonic: *gets up* That's it, I'm leaving! I quit!
Kyo: *gets up* I'm with you.
Amy: *grabs Sonic's arm* Wait, guys! Did you forget that the bridge has no oxygen?
Sonic: And when has that stopped me before?
Amy: *releases Sonic's arm* It'll probably stop you now when the bridge's oxygen has been replaced with some odd poison gas, and the theater's door is sealing it off...
Kyo: *sits back down* Wonderful.
Sonic: *sits back down* Peachy. And how are we still alive if that's been replaced with poison?
Amy: Plot device. Really, you should just relax.

the ultimate life form, created by the great Gerald Robotnik.

Jessie: Jeez, as if Shadow wasn't any more of a possible Canon Stu, we have to deal with this jackass.

I am looking for one called Shadow the Hedgehog, do you know where he is?"

Cassy: You could've just looked around instead of, I dunno... destroying half of Station Square, moron!

Dusk asked boastfully, his arms crossed. His voice was very similar to Shadow's but had a deeper, eviler tone.

All: *groans*
Sonia: I... I'm not really going to like the end result, right?
Miyu: It's either that or Dusk may need more fiber in his diet.
Manic: Nah, it's because he's eeeeevillll...er!

As Shadow heard Dusk's claims, he stepped forward. "I'm him, and you're mistaken. I'm the ultimate life form."

Sonic: Shadow, be careful. That... thing's been taking tips from the Mishima family.
Kyo: So, it can withstand ravines, volcanoes, and explosions from boatloads of robots?
Sonic: Exactly.

"Hm. So you're the other hedgehog Professor Gerald created. Strange, I expected you to be more powerful. I barely sense any energy in you" When Dusk said this, Shadow became enraged.

Jessie: Hell, I would be too. Damned recolors.

"We'll see who's stronger," he said as he pulled out the chaos emerald that he always carried with him; the one that had saved his life. "Chaos Control!"

Amy: *sighs* Gary Stu commences his ownage in three seconds...
Manic: Oh, I guess I'm getting my fifty bucks, too!

Shadow rushed at Dusk at super fast speed using Chaos Control. When he reached the mysterious hedgehog, Shadow threw a punch. But, Dusk caught it with ease.

Miyu: *places her face in her hands*
Sonic: Why are we still reading this?
Cassy: Because there's eight of us being forced to, and this is the first fic that actually threatened poison on all of our butts if we leave?
Kyo: Yep, we're fucked. Big time.

"Ha. I see you still need a chaos emerald to perform Chaos Control. Pathetic."

Amy: Tch, we're sorry that he can't break logic and canon, Dusk.
Cassy: Okay, then you do it! Perform Chaos Control right now!

He then punched Shadow in the stomach and disappeared. He reappeared behind Sonic, grabbed his head, and slammed it into the ground. Knuckles went to throw a punch at him, but Dusk grabbed his arm, and flipped him over onto Sonic's back. As the three started the get on to their feet, Dusk began to levitate into the air. "Do you understand my power now," he said as he grinned, "Or do I have to continue showing you?"

Manic: You know... what's the point of life if you're just going to win every time?
Sonia: This is worse than bringing legendaries to a Pokémon battle and winning tournaments without a hitch.

"I don't care who you are, I'm taking you down!" Sonic yelled as he charged at super speed and used his sonic spin. As he was approaching, Dusk held out his hand and stopped him. He then pushed him back into Shadow and Knuckles, sending all three of them to the ground.

Sonic: Oh, for the love of...

"Guys," Knuckles said as they got up, "We can't beat this guy if we attack separately. We need to attack at once!"

Kyo: And then the guy owns them after this, right?! Can we leave now?!

Shadow and Sonic dashed at Dusk and began throwing a flurry of punches. But, Dusk just kept dodging them all. Knuckles came from behind with a roundhouse, but Dusk ducked to avoid it. He then grabbed Knuckles' legs, and slammed him on the ground. He then kicked Sonic in the head, and went to punch Shadow. He dodged it, but then Dusk elbowed him in the back of the neck.

Sonic: *snores*
Amy: *nudges Sonic* Hey...
Sonia: This... this has got to be the worst thing that I have ever read.

The Freedom Fighters and the Chaotix watched in horror as their friends were being beaten. "We have to do something!" Mighty said. They went to help, but Knuckles held up his hand to stop them.

Jessie: *woodenly* Do not bother, you will get your ass kicked.
Everyone else: *woodenly* Blah, blah, blah...

"No! If you try to fight him, you'll end up getting hurt. Leave it to us." Just then, Dusk appeared and head butted Knuckles. He then performed a back flip, kicking Sonic into the air with his feet. He blasted Shadow with an energy ball. He began to fly up after, Sonic. When he caught up with him, he slammed him into a building.

All: *booing*

"Well Shadow, do you believe me now? You haven't touched me! I am the ultimate life form!" Dusk bellowed as he hung in the air.

Manic: Oh, whatever, man. You're just a God Mode Stu.
Cassy: Uh... what the hell was this recolor's motivation for beating the tar out of everyone?
Amy: For the heck of it, I guess.

Shadow and Knuckles ran to aid Sonic. When they found him, he was lying on the ground, moaning. Shadow told Knuckles, "He should be fine,"

Sonia: Just give him some chili dogs. He'll be back on his feet in no time.

After being helped to his feet, Sonic, slightly delirious from the impact, asked, "What happened?"

Miyu: Holy moly, building slams really do take a lot of memory out of you!

"You were punched into a building," Knuckles answered, chuckling at his friend's obliviousness.

Kyo: Wait, so Sonic's brain is this close to pulsating out of his head from a building smash, and you find this funny?!
Sonic: Apparently, Knuckles must be suffering from some memory loss, too. "I" was slammed, not punched, into a building.

Just then, the already damaged building began to collapse as it was struck by green energy blasts.

Sonia: Great, now we can add more pointless deaths to the list.
Amy: *sarcastically* All's well that ends well, right?

Shadow, Knuckles and Sonic dashed for the exit. When they stepped outside, Dusk was there to greet them. "I'm somewhat surprised you survived that. No matter. There is no way you can defeat me!" He exclaimed, laughing maniacally.

Jessie: Jeez, is it possible for this guy to shut up about being powerful?
Sonia: Ever won the lottery?
Jessie: No.
Sonia: There you go.

Watching from afar, the Freedom Fighters and Chaotix became frustrated at Dusk's seemingly invulnerableness.

All: We are, too!

"If only they could turn into their Super and Hyper forms, then they could beat him!" Espio said.

Cassy: *bluntly* Let me guess... they don't, even in those forms, right?

Overhearing this claim, Dusk turned his head and asked, "Do you really think that these 'Super and Hyper forms' can possibly be a challenge for me? If you do, you are deadly mistaken."

All: Shut up!

"We all know they can beat you!" Sally replied confidently.

Amy: And... then they don't, right?

"Let's see if you are right." Dusk then clapped his hands,

Manic: Clap your hands if you believe!
Sonic: I believe... that this fic will end!
All: Hallelujah!
Kyo: Praise the Lord, baby!

and Shadow, Knuckles, and Sonic turned into Hyper Shadow, Hyper Knuckles, and Super Sonic. "...What just happened?" Sonic asked as he looked at himself and his friends.

Sonia: You have just received your powers from a Gary Stu recolor. You and your friends may want to use them to hightail your collective asses out of this fic.

"I gave you each power equivalent to 7 chaos emeralds and 50 power rings. Now, let's see if your friends are right, shall we?"

All: *in a bored tone* Let's guess... they're wrong, right?

Dusk rushed at Hyper Shadow, Hyper Knuckles and Super Sonic. They jumped to the side and each fired an energy blast. When they landed, they could only see smoke. "Heh. Guess he's not so tough after all," Super Sonic said confidently. Then, Dusk dashed out of the smoke and began to attack Sonic. They both threw a flurry of punches and kicks at each other at lightning fast speed.

Sonic: It's not really an action scene if the sentences are crammed into a skinny closet...
Kyo: With twenty--
Miyu, Jessie, Cassy: Supermodels. Got it, Kyo.
Kyo: I was really going to say "giant beach balls", but... whatever.

Super Sonic finally landed a blow, kicking Dusk in the stomach, sending him hurtling backwards.

All: Yay!

He performed a flip to stay on his feet.

All: Huh.

When he looked up, Hyper Shadow punched him in the face. Dusk was sent flying, and Hyper Knuckles delivered a kick to his head. After spiraling through the air, Dusk landed on the ground.

All: Huh...

Hyper Shadow, Hyper Knuckles and Super Sonic went to continue their assault, but he disappeared.

All: Huh?

"Where'd he go?" Hyper Knuckles asked. They turned their heads as Dusk appeared on top of a nearby building. "Well, what are you waiting for? Come and get me."

All: Oh, great...

Angered at the powerful hedgehog's confidence,

Sonia: We got it, he's powerful! Now would you shut up about that?!
Miyu: Please!

the trio began to fly up at Dusk. As they did, Dusk began to gather energy. All kinds of debris began to collect around him.

Manic: Like the remainders of Dorothy Gale's house.

He then released his energy, and all the fragments shot at Hyper Shadow, Hyper Knuckles, and Super Sonic.

Cassy: So his powers include shooting things from the ground?

They avoid them with ease, but then Dusk appeared right in front of Hyper Shadow and knocked him to the ground. Hyper Knuckles and Super Sonic dashed at Dusk and began to attack with a barrage of punches and kicks. It seemed that Dusk had trouble dodging and blocking them.

Kyo: Oh, well. Nobody's going to shed a tear if this guy eats it, anyway.
Everyone else: Yep.

The Freedom Fighters and the Chaotix watched as their friends took the upper hand. "Yeah! They have this fight in the bag now!" Vector said.

Jessie: I'm willing to bet this entire satellite that they don't.

"That guy is going down!" Rotor added.

Amy: *scoffs* I wish.

As her friends cheered, Julie-Su remained silent. "It doesn't seem right. This guy seems to be...holding back," she thought. "But why? I hope those guys know what their doing."

Manic: Oh, way to be a party pooper, Julie-Su.

Hyper Shadow flew up at Dusk, who was still holding off Super Sonic and Hyper Knuckles. He then tackled him into the side of a building. Hyper Shadow then tried to throw a punch, but Dusk caught it and punched Hyper Shadow in the stomach. Hyper Knuckles and Super Sonic then fired two energy blasts, sending Dusk to the ground.

Sonia: Finally, an even match... right?
Cassy: Nope.

"Just give up," Hyper Shadow said as Dusk got to his feet.

"Yeah, you got cocky and gave us enough power to beat you. Bad choice," Hyper Knuckles added.

Miyu: *pushes glasses up* Um... fighting cockiness with cockiness is quite a terrible choice there...
Kyo: *ignites flame, grins* But fighting bad fanfiction with fire is even better.
Miyu: Kyo... would you extinguish that, please?
Kyo: Tch... fine... but you know I'm only saying "yes" because you're the one who asked.

"You are the ones who are cocky. Play time is over!" Dusk screamed as he began to gather massive amounts of energy. As he did, the ground began to shake. A bright green aura began to envelop him.

"What's happening?" Bunnie asked.

"I don't know," Amy replied, "But it doesn't look good!"

All: Oh, boy...

Suddenly, a bright flash emitted from Dusk, blinding them all. When it cleared, his physical form had changed. He was now blue with green streaks. His muzzle was the same color as his fur and no mouth was visible. His eyes had become deep green voids. His quills had grown in length, and were now down to his ankles. He looked very similar to Chaos. "Are you scared now? I am Omega Dusk! Or, in other words, your doom!"

Everyone except Sonic and Kyo: ...
Kyo: Can I go and commit suicide by inhaling the bridge's poison now?
Sonic: Hell, can I join him?
Everyone else: No!
Sonic: Well, then.
Kyo: I hate you all.

--

Continue to Part Two
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