Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Special Episode 1: Ultimate (Part Four)

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4. The Ultimate Battle

All: LOL, title drop.

Sally watched as Omega Dusk destroyed the king’s army like they were nothing. “What will we do now?”

Sonic: Call the Plot Police so that a bigger Stu can take his place. Why not?

Just then, she saw a figure walk towards Omega Dusk. “Who’s that?”

Kyo: Megaweapon?
Miyu: That thing didn't have arms, Kyo.
Kyo: Oh. Right.

Julie Su walked over to where Sally was standing. They both watched the mysterious figure. “Wait. That’s Shadow!”

All: Buh-dur-hay...

Everyone walked over to see what the commotion was. Just then, Shadow began to glow, and then he had become Hyper Shadow!

Cassy: Ooh, ahh... I don't care anymore.

“How did he do that?” Julie Su asked. “I don’t know, but we might have a chance.” Sally answered.

Manic: Man, these two are the worst riffers ever.

Everyone became silent as they watched their last hope charge at Omega Dusk.

Sonia: And then he loses. Enough with the crummy redundancy already.

Hyper Shadow began to throw lighting fast punches at Omega Dusk.

Jessie: And then he dodged them all.

Omega Dusk just dodged all of them

Jessie: *rolling her eyes* I figured as much.

and began throwing his own punches. They both seemed to be equal, but then, Omega Dusk hit Hyper Shadow with an uppercut. Hyper Shadow regained his balance and began pelting Omega Dusk with energy blasts. When the smoke cleared, Omega Dusk was still standing.

All: *booing*

“Do you really think you have a chance against me, Shadow? Even if you do have a hidden power, I’ll kill you before you release it.”

Amy: *stabbing a picture of Omega Dusk* Die, die, die! Shut up and die already!

“I will beat you, Dusk, even if I have to die in the process!” “So be it.” Omega Dusk disappeared, but before he could reappear, Hyper Shadow kicked him in the stomach.

Kyo: No baby for you!
Cassy: Dude, you're... no, just don't say that again.

“I see you’ve gotten better. It’s too bad we can’t join forces.” “I would never join with you. Now stop talking and fight.”

Sonic: Wait, who's talking?
Manic: Thing 1 and Thing 2.

Sally and Julie Su were still watching the fight.

Jessie: And then they charged everyone fifteen bucks to see it. Also, they doubled the front row seat pricing.

“Shadow’s become a lot stronger. He might be able to beat him!” Julie Su said. Just then, they watched Hyper Shadow get thrown into the side of the castle.

Miyu: I'm going to guess that that looks like a no, then.

Hyper Shadow staggered up. Omega Dusk was right in his face and began to punch him in the stomach. “Maybe this will knock some sense into you!” he said as he continued to pound Hyper Shadow.

Sonic: There's a terrible image in my head, and it just... won't... leave.
Sonia: Don't even share it. I'd like to keep my remaining brain cells, thank you.

When he finished, he jumped back. Hyper Shadow walked out, clutching his stomach. “Why don’t you just stay down?!” Omega Dusk yelled as he ran at Hyper Shadow.

Amy: "Why won't you just shut up?!" Amy screamed as she attempted to smash the screen.

But, Hyper Shadow grabbed his hands. There they stood, in a grip lock, trying to push one another down. “I won’t give up… no matter what.”

All: *singing* It doesn't matter now what happens, I will never give up the fight...!

Hyper Shadow grunted. He began to run around in a circle, taking Omega Dusk with him. Omega Dusk began to run too, until they were both running at lightning fast speed.

Amy: This is the most messed up game of Ring Around The Rosey I've ever seen.

They continued running around until they had made a small tornado, which brought them and other debris up into the air. They let go of each other and began to throw punches and kicks. Then, they both jumped back.

Kyo: This continued for seventy-two more episodes.

Hyper Shadow landed on a rock and kicked it at Omega Dusk, who knocked it away and flew at him. Hyper Shadow flipped over him and fired an energy blast.

“I can’t see a thing. What’s happening?” Julie Su asked as they watched the tornado. “I don’t know, but it doesn’t look good.” Sally said

Sonia: Wasn't that already said before... in the first chapter... by two different people?!
Manic: Yep! Introducing Stock Quote Mobians!

Omega Dusk deflected the energy blast. Then, they both began jumping on rocks up to the top of the tornado, attacking each other as they went up. When they reached the top, they began to grab rocks flying up from the tornado and threw them at each other.

Sonic: When dodgeball ingests crack, ladies and gentlemen!

Omega Dusk threw a large boulder and then fired an energy blast. Hyper Shadow grabbed the rock, but couldn’t dodge the blast. He began falling down, and then Omega Dusk tackled him into the castle.

Cassy: *sighs* Y'know, dudes... if this Stu wins, I'm going to beat the crap out of him and the author.
Miyu: There's just one little issue, Cassidy... who do you want to hurt more?
Cassy: I'll flip a coin or something, Miyu.

Knuckles, Sonic, and Tails began to awaken. They tried to get up, but didn’t have the energy.

Jessie: I think they chugged too much alcohol, guys.

“Guys, we need to help Shadow…” Tails said. “I know, buddy,” Sonic said, “But we don’t have the energy.”

Amy: Argh, the redundancy!

Yeah. Shadow has to do this alone…” Knuckles said.

Kyo: Mainly because it's the "Crazy Dark Hedgehog" show.

Omega Dusk began punching Hyper Shadow in the head. He kept beating him until Hyper Shadow kicked him in the head.

Manic: Do these guys have pipe cleaners for bones or something?

He backed up, and Hyper Shadow flew at him and threw as many punches as he could. Omega Dusk grabbed his arm and threw him through the wall and on to the ground outside.

Sonic: Blah, blah, blah, grabbed it with ease, blaaaahhhh...

“How can you believe that you are the ultimate life form? Professor Gerald wasted his time by making you. Omega Dusk said as he walked over to Hyper Shadow, who was still lying on the ground, spitting out blood.

Amy: Hey, where's the closing quotations?
Jessie: The Stu ate them.

He looked at him and kicked him in the head.

Miyu: If we have any more of that, someone's going to have brain damage.
Kyo: This fic's already causing brain damage. We just have to take it.

Hyper Shadow dropped the chaos emerald that he had been holding. Omega Dusk reached for it and picked it up. “Maria…no,” Hyper Shadow said softly. Omega Dusk looked at the chaos emerald with disgust.

Sonia: And the audience did the same with the Stu.

“Is that why you keep this emerald? Because you believe Maria’s soul is in it?” Hyper Shadow tried to get up but couldn’t. “Maria is dead, Shadow. The government saw to that. It’s sad though, I wanted to kill her myself. I hated her. She was so happy. It sickened me. I didn’t understand how a person could be so happy. I was in that room alone, planning to kill her, and then, I was going to kill you, but the military beat me to it, and you got away. Too bad.”

All: ...
Manic: *places his face in his hands, gives a muffled groan*
Cassy: Cri-mi-ny, dude. Wh... why?!
Kyo: *angrily tugging at his bangs* Oh... fuck my life. Fuck this fic, fuck this Stu, and fuck my life!

Hyper Shadow looked up at Omega Dusk with hate in his eyes. “What did you say?”

Sonic: *sputtering* The frickin' Stu was going to break canon even further by killing Maria, man! That's what he said!

Omega Dusk looked down. “I said I was going to kill her. But I guess this is good enough.” He said as he took the emerald and crushed it. He dropped the broken pieces right in front of Hyper Shadow. “No. Maria. NO!” “Yes, Shadow, let all of your anger out before you die.”

Jessie: And after that, eight riffers began to show the same thing. In a lovely twist of fate, the Stu died after a massive beatdown. The audience cheered at that sight.
Manic: God, I wish that would happen.
Amy: Wait, I'm confused. He wanted to kill him before that anger, and now he wants the anger?
Miyu: *shrugs* I guess. I don't know anymore, Amy.

Hyper Shadow’s eyes began to widen. He began to glow. The shards of the chaos emeralds began to swirl around him. The ground around him began to tremble. “MARIA!!!” he screamed as he began to levitate in the air. “What is happening?” Omega Dusk said.

Cassy: I don't know; but if it ends in your butt being toast, we'll be very happy.

“MARIA! NOOOO!” All of the sudden, a bright light consumed Hyper Shadow. When it stopped, he had changed. He looked like Hyper Shadow, but he would flicker the colors of the super emeralds every few seconds.

All: *flatly* What.
Miyu: So... in order to beat a Gary Stu... Shadow has to upgrade into a Canon Stu.
Sonia: *facepalms* I knew that this fic failed, but... wow. I think I have a really sour taste in my mouth now.

“What are you?” Omega Dusk asked as he backed away. “I am

Kyo: ...Super Stu!

Ultra Shadow.

Kyo: Oh.

I am the ultimate life form. I am your end!” “I don’t care what you are. You are going to die!” Omega Dusk said as he ran at Ultra Shadow.

Manic: I don't care, either. Somebody better die so I can get half of my money back.
Sonic: Did you just do a black market deal in space, bro?
Manic: Maybe.

Just then, Ultra Shadow disappeared. “Where did he go?” Omega Dusk said as he looked around. “I’m behind you.” Omega Dusk turned around and Ultra Shadow elbowed him in the stomach.

Amy: And then the source of his Stu powers were hacked up.
Everyone else: Ugh, Amy...

Omega Dusk backed off, clutching his stomach. Ultra Shadow ran at him and began to attack him relentlessly. He punched him in the face and stomach. He then kicked him in the head, sending him into a tree.

Miyu: And then the squirrels living inside the tree whipped his poor tushie.

Omega Dusk stood up. He then noticed that his cheek was bleeding. “You made me bleed. No one makes me bleed!”

All: *annoyed* Oh, shut up!
Kyo: So the "powerful" git is also a big baby. Great to know.
Amy: Hey, I just realized something; we haven't ran into any use of the word "powerful" in this chapter yet.
Kyo: Good. Let's hope it stays that way.

Omega Dusk said as he began to fire a volley of energy blasts at Ultra Shadow. When he stopped, he looked into the smoke cloud where Ultra Shadow had been.

“Ha. There is no way that the fool could have survived that!” Omega Dusk said confidently.

Jessie: Remember, this is the same idiot who whipped the heroes for being cocky.
Sonia: Well, let's hope that he gets a taste of his own medicine.

“I wouldn’t be so sure if I was you,” said a voice from above. When Omega Dusk looked up, Ultra Shadow was there, with his arms crossed, smiling. “Why won’t you die!?!?” Omega Dusk screamed.

Miyu: "And why won't you shut your continually flapping mouth?" Miyu asked in a bored tone.

“Because I won’t die until I have beaten you!”

Cassy: And neither can we. Get 'im!

“I won’t be destroyed by a faker like you!”

Sonic: *annoyed* Who do I call for a lawsuit, because I'm suing! I'm going to sue all of you lazy recolor gits for stealing my "faker" line!

Omega Dusk said as he flew up at Ultra Shadow and began to throw a surge of punches and kicks, which Ultra Shadow dodged

All: *in a bored tone* ...with ease.

with ease.

All: Eh. Figured.

He then grabbed Omega Dusk’s hand, and threw him to the ground. When Omega Dusk got up, Ultra Shadow landed a few feet away.

“How could you possibly call me a faker? You,” Ultra Shadow said as he pointed at Omega Dusk, “Are the only faker around here.” When he said this, Omega Dusk became furious.

Manic: You mad, bro? Yeah, you mad.

“Don’t you dare call me a faker!

All: Okay, faker.

I am Omega Dusk, the ultimate life form! I will destroy you and the rest of this planet!” He said as he began to ascend into the air, charging a large beam of energy. Ultra Shadow’s eyes widened. “No, you can’t! Everyone on the planet will die!”

Jessie: When people die, they are killed!

“Oh. Now you are scared. Do you think I care about the weaklings on this planet?

Miyu: *adjusts glasses* Well, we don't care about you...

When this blast hits the planet, everything and everyone will die!” “No they won’t!” Ultra Shadow said as he began to charge a beam of his own.

Amy: I thought that they would. Isn't that the point of a giant laser nuking thingie?

“Fine. This will decide who is the ultimate life form in the universe, and if planet Mobius survives!” Omega Dusk said as he unleashed the beam. Ultra Shadow released his own, and the two beams collided, sending rocks and trees everywhere.

Cassy: And everyone's minds were blown, THX style.
Manic: The audience is now jelly.

Ultra Shadow gritted his teeth as he held Omega Dusk’s beam at bay. Omega Dusk did the same. Just then, Ultra Shadow began to slide back. “Losing already? I’m very disappointed Shadow,” Omega Dusk said, and then he began to laugh. “I’m…not done…yet!” Ultra Shadow said as he began to push forward.

Kyo: And then training montages with his mother were shown.
Sonic: Shadow... The People's Choice!

Everyone watched as the two combatants pushed back and forth. One, trying to destroy everything they held dear. The other, trying to save the lives of millions.

Sonia: And then there was that third guy who wanted half of the world gone, since most of the people were stupid and didn't deserve to live.

“Come on, Shadow!” Julie Su and Sally yelled, hoping that their cheers would help him.

Ultra Shadow and Omega Dusk were at a standstill. Then, Ultra Shadow began to push forward. Omega Dusk became angry. “No! I will not die!” He then began to power up, putting large amounts of energy into the beam. Ultra Shadow began to slide back again, and Omega Dusk’s beam began to come closer. “No, I cannot lose!” He said to himself. Then Ultra Shadow heard a voice saying “Please Shadow. Beat him!”

Amy: It was the ultimate boss of the Anti-Mary Sue and Gary Stu gallery. His or her presence had to be known.

“Maria?” Ultra Shadow said. He then began to put everything he had into his beam. It began to creep towards Omega Dusk. “No, I cannot lose!” Omega Dusk said with fear in his voice.

Kyo: *as Kusanagi* You getting scared, eh?!
Miyu: Kyo...

“This is for Maria and everyone you hurt! Die you monster!” With that, Ultra Shadow unleashed a gush of energy, which caused the beam to engulf Omega Dusk. “No, this is not possible! I am the ultimate lifeform! I am Dusk! I am Dusk!!!!” Omega Dusk yelled as he began to deteriorate.

Sonic: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're all ultimate and crap. Can you hurry up and die now, you cheap "Dragon Ball Z" ripoff?

Eventually, the being that was once Dusk was gone.

All: *cheering*
Amy: Our long national nightmare is over!
Manic: *pops a bottle of sparkling juice, accidentally spills some on Sonia* Par-tay! Par-tay!
Sonia: *annoyed* Oh, thanks a lot, Manic! You've ruined my hair and my jumpsuit! Salons and dry cleaners aren't in space, you know!
Manic: Oh, chill, sis.

“Yes. I did it, for you, Maria,” Ultra Shadow said as he powered down. He fell back, but someone caught him.

Cassy: *in a southern voice* Oh, I think I have the vapors!

“Take it easy there, man,” Knuckles said. Sonic was behind him, carrying Tails, who was still unconscious. “You guys are all right?” Shadow asked.

Jessie: Uh... no! They got the tar beaten out of them, and you're going to ask that? Yeah. Sure.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t we be?” “How are the others?” They looked at the Freedom Fighters and the Chaotix, who were scattered across the ground. “They should be fine when they wake up,” Sonic said.

Miyu: Except for Antoine, who's, you know... dead with a hole in his chest.

Just then, all of the citizens of Knothole began to swarm into the town, cheering. Sally and Julie Su ran up to them. “Shadow you did it!” Julie Su said “Yeah. I guess I did.” Shadow said, looking at where Dusk once was.

Kyo: And then he spit in that spot.
Amy: Eww, no.
Kyo: Okay, so maybe he didn't... but I sure would.

“Well you should be happy! We need to celebrate!” Sally said. “Yeah, you just saved the world!” Knuckles said. “Why not?” Shadow said.

Sonia: Yes, let's continue to ignore the battered and bleeding people who fought in this pointless battle.
Sonic: Oh, come on, sis. Try to find the good things in it.
Sonia: What good things?! Seriously, some of the fighters are battered to the next year, and Shadow had to break canon to beat someone who already broke it to begin with!
Sonic: Hm. Well, you're right about that...

“There will be no celebration. Not yet anyway.” They all turned to see King Acorn and the remains of his army, all staring at Shadow…

To Be Continued

Cassy: Yeah, dudes... this left a bitter taste in my mouth here.
Amy: I know, Cassy. I know.
Manic: Wait, how come it says "To Be Continued"? Is Dusk coming back to life or something?
Jessie: He better stay dead... or I'm going to kill that little ghost with that sniper rifle of mine.
Miyu: You're planning to kill a ghost? So... guns can kill ghosts now, according to your new logic?
Jessie: Hey, if he can break canon, so can I.
Kyo: Can't argue with that one.

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