Sissy Rambles About AEW Matches in 2022 (Part 6: July-August)

Sissy Analyzes Random Things: Sissy Rambles About AEW Matches in 2022 (Part 6: July-August)

Hello! Welcome to Part 6. Did you miss anything?

January and Feburary? Right here.
March? Go here.
April? It's over here.
May? Enjoy it here.
June? It's here.

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July

Match of the Month

Men: July 13 (Dynamite - Fyter Fest: Week 1) - Young Bucks vs. Team Taz vs. Swerve in our Glory (AEW World Tag Team Championship Match; Triple or Nothing Match)

Jurassic Express defended their titles in two triple threat matches. They ironically went Double or Nothing with those exact same teams and won. The Bucks probably thought, "Hey, we can do that, too! We're the best tag team in the world, after all!"

So they went Triple or Nothing, and Matt Jackson lost a shoe.

And you know what happens when Matt loses a shoe...

Now the Young Bucks just lost the tag titles.

Uh...

Oops.

Women: July 25 (Dark Elevation) - Toni Storm vs. Emi Sakura

Yes, a Dark Elevation match. I'm not going to lie; it was a little tricky to decide the best match for the ladies this month. Perhaps it was due to the "one match only" thing for Dynamite and Rampage. Perhaps this pretty much showed how undercooked the women's division is despite the talent in it.

Or perhaps it was because this was a good ten minute match... that you can see for free.

All of this can be true.

I still question why we can have at least two women's matches on Dark Elevation/Dark, but not Dynamite. Still mind boggling.

Honorable Mentions - Men

July 1 (Rampage) - The Royal Rampage (Where the winner still won't matter because Mox will beat the crap out of him anygoddamn way.)

Despite the obvious conclusion that will occur on July 6... the Royal Rampage was still miles better than that impromptu battle royale from last month.

I'm pretty sure that the antics of Hangman and Silver were a definite "take that" to the random Swerve eliminating Keith Lee nonsense.

I'm not going to lie; my friends and I were skeptical about this at first, but it turned out to be a great concept with fun stuff in it. Ending was understandably brutal, since the winner was actually Brody King... who won by choking Darby Allin out and dropping him from the ring apron. Damn. Well, Mox vs. Brody won't be bad at all. If my knowledge is correct, we haven't seen him in a singles match in AEW yet. I won't lose sleep over him winning this thing... even though he did eliminate my favorite guy.

Hopefully, it'll kickstart an interesting storyline, too.

Honestly, I think that this format is miles better than the Casino Battle Royale. The Royal Rampage should replace it.

(Besides, everyone who managed to win a Casino Battle Royale up to this point... and I do mean everyone... lost their title match right afterwards. It might be cursed like the AEW World Championship. Think I'm joking? Have a look here.)

July 5 (Dark) - Lee Moriarty vs. Leon Ruffin

Hmm. Honestly, if Ruffin isn't going to be signed to AEW's roster, I believe that he should end up in the new ROH roster. Dude's gotta go somewhere, he's pretty impressive.

July 6 (Dynamite) - Penta Oscuro vs. Rush

Before we begin, it's pronounced "Roosh". Okay, we're good? Okay.

Not going to lie, it would be good to see more lucha matches. Seems like we don't get enough of those lately, unfortunately.

July 6 (Dynamite) - Jon Moxley vs. Brody King (Interim AEW World Championship Match)

Well, the conclusion was obvious! However, what happened before the conclusion... well...

Ouch.

Seriously, Brody King hits like a damn truck.

July 8 (Rampage) - Konosuke Takeshita vs. Eddie Kingston

I really don't need to say anything about this, do I? You probably already know why this is here.

July 8 (Rampage) - Tony Nese vs. Orange Cassidy (If Cassidy lost, he'd have to sign a petition to get Swerve Strickland removed from AEW. Look, it makes sense in context, okay?)

And then there was "Smart" Mark Sterling, the ambulance chaser.

And... Lawyerhausen.

Honestly, there's nothing wrong with Danhausen's in-ring skills, but I just enjoy him a lot more as the buddy/hype man.

July 11 (Dark Elevation) - Dante Martin vs. JD Drake

Speed vs. Power.

Rising star vs. Veteran.

This is honestly an underrated match.

July 12 (Dark) - Private Party vs. Bear Country

Honestly, it was better than I thought it was.

July 12 (Dark) - PAC vs. Shota Umino (AEW All-Atlantic Championship Match)
(The match's original date was July 10th at RevolutionPro in Sheffield, UK. However, it's an AEW belt, and the match was shown on an AEW program, so I'm making it count.)

I expected nothing less from PAC.

...then there was the standing Brutalizer.

I'm still expecting nothing less.

July 13 (Dynamite - Fyter Fest: Week 1) - Wardlow vs. Orange Cassidy (TNT Championship Match)

Trent and Chuck suck at cheating. That's probably the most talked about moment about this match. It's a good match wrapped in a hilarious clusterfuck.

July 13 (Dynamite - Fyter Fest: Week 1) - Jon Moxley vs. Konosuke Takeshita (AEW Interim World Title Eliminator Match; if Takeshita won, he would get a guaranteed shot at the title.)

Once again, I don't need to say a darn thing.

July 18 (Dark Elevation) - Ethan Page vs. Leon Ruffin

...seriously, sign Leon Ruffin. Thank you.

July 19 (Dark) - Fuego Del Sol vs. QT Marshall

At first, I was like, "Oh, this match is pretty good!"

Then the interference happened, and I was like, "Oh, for fuck's sake."

Then the interference stopped, and I went back to saying, "Oh, this match is pretty good!"

July 19 (Dark) - Daniel Garcia vs. Alan "5" Angels (Ring of Honor Pure rules in effect)

5 is underrated and still underrated. Unfortunately, since his contract expired by then, he's pretty much considered a guest talent now.

With all of that being said... this match is pretty much a rising star versus an underrated talent.

And both of them will get better as time passes.

July 20 (Dynamite - Fyter Fest: Week 2) - Ricky Starks vs. Cole Karter (FTW Championship Match; Open Challenge)

Man, I like Ricky a bunch. It's not a match that a lot of folks will talk about... unfortunately. However, it's still worth seeing.

July 26 (Dark) - PAC vs. LJ Cleary (AEW All-Atlantic Championship Match)
(Originally: July 22 at Over The Top Wrestling in Dublin, Ireland.)

The best part about the All-Atlantic Championship is that it serves as a traveling work belt of sorts. Perhaps it's to make up for the fact that we don't get to see a certain Mr. Bastard as much?

Either way, I'll be more than happy to take it.

July 27 (Dynamite - Fight for the Fallen) - Jon Moxley vs. Rush (Interim AEW World Championship Match)

I think Mox took the "bleeds a lot" baton from Hangman now. I think it's required that someone on the roster needs to bleed a lot.

July 27 (Dynamite - Fight for the Fallen) - Ricky Starks vs. Danhausen (FTW Championship Match; Open Challenge)

And then...

July 27 (Dynamite - Fight for the Fallen) - Ricky Starks vs. Hook (FTW Championship Match; Open Challenge)

Yes, this happened immediately after Starks defeated Danhausen. Yes, Ricky demanded a new challenger right on the spot.

I will admit, all of this only took ten or so minutes. And they were a damn good ten minutes.

July 27 (Dynamite - Fight for the Fallen) - Dante Martin vs. Sammy Guevara

...oh, goddammit!

Ironically, just like the surprise match against Hangman back in March, I too responded to this with...

"What in the FUCK".

Seriously. Once again, one of my favorite guys is in the ring against one of my other favorite guys. Yes, despite the fact that the shitty feud killed Sammy's momentum dead, you cannot deny that he's still great in the ring. I don't forget facts.

Unfortunately, it looks like Dante got injured in this match by suffering a knee injury. Damn it.

Still blaming January 5 for this.

(Thankfully, the high flyer has since healed, so it looks like the injury didn't take him out for too long. Still, an injury is an injury, and injuries suck.)

July 27 (Dynamite - Fight for the Fallen) - Bryan Danielson vs. Daniel Garcia (Part II)

Do not get me wrong, this match was actually good. However, I'm feeling two things from this...

Yes, it is great that Garcia's getting pushed, because I do believe that he's actually good. I said so at the beginning of the damn year. What I didn't like is that Danielson gets hyped up for a return match... only to lose. And that causes another mark against the Jericho Boring Invincible Villain Society.

However, that victory puts Daniel Garcia in a very interesting position. He's the third person (after Hangman and Moxley) to defeat Bryan Danielson. What sets him apart from the other two... is the fact that he hasn't held a belt yet. That's what makes it interesting.

Honorable Mentions - Women

July 12 (Dark) - Thunder Rosa vs. Miyu Yamashita (AEW Women's World Championship Eliminator Match; should Yamashita win, she gets a future title match against Rosa.)
(The match's original date was July 9th at Tokyo Joshi Pro Wrestling's Summer Sun Princess '22 in Tokyo, Japan. It's still a title belt with an AEW champion and shown on an AEW program, so I'm making this count as well.)

Honestly, while more people would notice PAC's match at the end instead of this match at the beginning, the good news is that this match is literally nothing to sneeze at.

July 13 (Dynamite - Fyter Fest: Week 1) - Serena Deeb vs. Anna Jay

Dear, oh, dear. Anna's had that "so close, but yet so far" thing going on with her lately. Close to the TBS Championship. Close to defeating one of the stronger members of the women's roster.

And "close" doesn't really cut it, unfortunately.

July 22 (Rampage - Fyter Fest: Week 2) - Athena and Willow Nightingale vs. Jade Cargill and Kiera Hogan
(This match was originally going to include Kris Statlander and Leila Grey as well, but the latter wasn't cleared to participate in the match.)

Nah, seriously... when's Willow getting signed? She signed yet? I just want the graphic now. Please? Please?

July 25 (Dark Elevation) - Robyn Renegade vs. Hikaru Shida

Seriously, this might be used as my usual whining space here, so...

Yeah, hi, are the Renegade Twins signed yet?

July 27 (Dynamite - Fight for the Fallen) - Thunder Rosa vs. Miyu Yamashita (Part II) (AEW Women's World Championship Match)

Second verse, not the same as the first. Still wish that the crowd wasn't so dead at some points of the match, unfortunately.

"Because I liked it, okay?" Mentions

July 6 (Dynamite) - "Et tu, Daddy Ass?"

What a surprisingly good segment. Genuine heel heat due to interrupting Max Caster's rap, and the Gunn Club literally turning on the Acclaimed. What a great midcard story.

July 6 (Dynamite) - Thunderstorm (Thunder Rosa and Toni Storm) vs. Nyla Rose and Marina Shafir

Because I liked Nyla's antics. She actually has a lot of character and charisma as a heel.

Unfortunately, Nyla can only do so much, so... Marina's still pretty stiff, which absolutely sucks.

July 13 (Dynamite - Fyter Fest: Week 1) - Claudio Castagnoli vs. Jake Hager

Honestly, it's a match that ended up being better than I thought. Not too bad.

July 15 (Rampage - Fyter Fest: Week 1) - Everyone loves the Acclaimed...

...to the point that they arrived out of the babyface tunnels. It begins.

July 19 (Dark) - Konosuke Takeshita vs. Anthony Henry

Phenom versus Underrated Talent: The Match. All in all, good fun.

July 20 (Dynamite - Fyter Fest: Week 2) - Brody King vs. Darby Allin

More like, "Let's just toss Darby around like a sack of potatoes: The Match".

Never mind the other parts where Darby was tossed around like a sack of potatoes outside of the ring.

This feud is a shitshow. And that's a compliment.

July 20 (Dynamite - Fyter Fest: Week 2) - The Return of Jungle Boy

And thus, this feud becomes kicked into gear. Gonna be interesting to see how this goes.

July 20 (Dynamite - Fyter Fest: Week 2) - Butch and Butch

Amusingly dumb segment, not going to lie.

I will admit that my friends made fun of me for squealing in excitement when a certain cowboy came in to check on his friends, though. I'm a dork.

July 20 (Dynamite - Fyter Fest: Week 2) - "I'm gonna fight like an eight year old girl!"

And then everyone wanted it on a shirt, and now it's on a shirt. So everyone got their wish.

July 22 (Rampage - Fyter Fest: Week 2) - "Hangman" Adam Page and John Silver vs. The Butcher and The Blade

Yes, my bias is in full effect here. No, I don't care.

So, uh... when's the cowboy going to reunite with the Bucks? I'm seeing a giant tease about this...

(Never mind, he turned down the reunion on August 10. Understandable, but... oh, my poor little heart.)

July 27 (Dynamite: Fight for the Fallen) - Jungle Boy becomes Jungle Man.

Dude started his promo at 12. Like, literally 12 out of 10. I'll admit that I got caught off guard at the very first sentence and lost it laughing.

"We got a real problem here." Mentions

July 6 (Dynamite) - Scorpio Sky vs. Wardlow (Part II) (TNT Championship Match; "Street Fight"--seriously, what street fight?! It was just Wardlow beating up the entourage!)

Or why Sky ended up getting dethroned because he was in one of the shittiest feuds in AEW...?

I'm feeling two things from this result: I'm happy that Wardlow won, and I'm also pissed that Scorpio's booking is literally in the toilet now.

Seriously, there's nothing wrong with seeing Wardlow with the TNT title at all. Look, the dude's popular. He's been with the company almost since the very beginning. I hope that he gets some good title defenses. I hope that he'll have a great reign.

He's also inheriting a cold ass and seriously screwed up title belt, so I also hope that he can elevate it. If it's on the level of Brodie's reign, Darby's reign, Miro's reign, or Sammy's second reign, it'll be amazing.

The problem isn't with Wardlow at all. He was never the problem, and none of this is his fault. He's been built up properly.

The problem was that both of Scorpio Sky's reigns ended with less than three successful title defenses. First reign had one, while the second had only two. It also probably didn't help that he got hurt early on in his title defense with Dante Martin during his second run.

We also could've had an interesting face turn with him while he was the TNT champion, but nope. Had to drag out the idiotic feud until the end of May for... reasons, I guess.

Yeah, that shitty feud killed Sammy's momentum, but it brutally slaughtered Scorpio's momentum. He's now officially seen as a joke. He's no longer known for being one half of the inaugural tag team champions along with Frankie.

Scorpio Sky is now a goddamn human meme.

He deserved better than this.

July 20 (Dynamite - Fyter Fest: Week 2) - Eddie Kingston vs. Chris Jericho (Barbed Wire Everywhere Match)

The wrong man won.

I had high hopes that Eddie would win this match. Everything led up to a blowoff. The match was actually going well!

And then they fucked it up.

Ironically, this was a great episode of Dynamite... until the rest of the JAS got out of the shark cage. And that wrecked everything.

How the hell did they forget to lock Sammy and Tay into the cage?

Why is Anna Jay suddenly a heel again?! We could've seen this development play out, but... nope. Of course not.

I never really said it like I did with the shitass Sammy vs. Scorpio feud, but I will now:

This. Feud. Is. Absolute. Shit.

I actually booed once the final bell rung. It was of the worst results this year, right next to a certain women's championship match at Revolution.

The JAS is pretty much the epitome of the "Boring Invincible Villain" now, and that actually bothers me to no end. I guess they also carried the crappy Vince syle WWE booking with them, too.

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August

Match of the Month

Men: August 24 (Dynamite) - Death Triangle vs. Aussie Open (Trios Quarterfinal Match)

...because PAC's in it.

No, no, that's not why.

What really did this for me was the fact that this was practically a 30 minute match that you couldn't look away from. This was an absolute spectacle.

It deserved its place as the main event, this match deserves its accolades, and it deserves its place as the match of the month.

Women: August 4 (Special Dark Elevation) and August 29 (Dark Elevation) - Hikaru Shida vs. Emi Sakura
(August 29th happened to have the Regina di Wave Championship Match.)

I still love how idiots love to shit on the joshi wrestlers, and yet they're the ones who tend to have the best matches so far. No, I'm not saying that joshi wrestling is superior or anything, just that folks need to stop being so close-minded about it.

Honorable Mentions - Men

August 2 (Dark) - PAC vs. Connor Mills (AEW All-Atlantic Championship Match)
(Original date: July 23 at Revolution Pro in Manchester, England.)

If you got the time, go ahead and watch this.

August 3 (Dynamite) - The Acclaimed vs. Gunn Club (Dumpster Match)

I will not lie, this match probably should've been the main event of the night. Of course, everyone in my watch group pretty much thought the same thing thanks to... well, you know.

August 6 (Battle of the Belts III) - Claudio Castagnoli vs. Konosuke Takeshita (ROH World Championship Match)

Seriously, the minute Konosuke Takeshita wins a match on Dynamite or Rampage, the roof of whatever arena the show is in will blow off in sheer joy. Seriously, the man is that damn good.

August 10 (Dynamite - Quake by the Lake) - Andrade el Idolo and Rush vs. Lucha Brothers (Tornado Tag Match)

Kinda disappointing that we're not seeing this lucha rivalry get as much airtime, though.

August 10 (Dynamite - Quake by the Lake) - Jon Moxley vs. Chris Jericho (Part II) (AEW Interim World Championship Match)
(Last time these two met in a match? Way back at Revolution 2020. Kinda underrated, honestly.)

Second verse, same as the first?

Oh, not quite. Same winner, obviously. It was also for a title belt, obviously. We all expected Mox to bleed like a stuck pig, obviously.

Just not via ripping his fucking earring out. Jesus Christ.

August 12 (Rampage - Quake by the Lake) - Orange Cassidy vs. Ari Daivari

Once again, because idiots keep sleeping on Cassidy.

August 17 (Dynamite - House of the Dragon) - Bryan Danielson vs. Daniel Garcia (Part III; 2 out of 3 Falls Match)

Oh. Well... this would've been the match of the month, but a certain Bastard and his Lucha pals had to steal the show!

Regardless, this showed off the best between a rising star and a veteran.

August 17 (Dynamite - House of the Dragon) - Andrade el Idolo, Rush, and Dragon Lee vs. Young Bucks and... (Trios Quarterfinal Match)

...Kenny Omega.

Welcome back.

The minute Hangman turned down the Bucks, I knew that Kenny was coming back. I missed the initial airing, and I was still not surprised that he returned. I even teared up with the full knowledge that he was back once I got the chance to watch it.

August 31 (Dynamite) - Rey Fenix vs. Wheeler Yuta vs. Rush vs. Dante Martin

Nice contender for match of the night. Perhaps if the main event didn't exist, this would actually be the match of the night.

I've now become biased; I enjoy Rush's finisher fakeout now.

August 31 (Dynamite) - United Empire vs. The Elite (Trios Semifinal Match)

Not quite the spectacle as last week, but still good enough to be an honorable mention.

Honorable Mentions - Women

August 1 (Dark Elevation) - Hikaru Shida, Toni Storm, and Willow Nightingale vs. Nyla Rose, Marina Shafir, and Emi Sakura

Seriously, Willow got signed, right?

Also, unfortunately... it feels like Marina was pretty much carried by everyone else here. Seriously, I did try to like her, but it's not clicking, unfortunately. I still don't hate her, though.

August 3 (Dynamite) - Thunderstorm (Thunder Rosa and Toni Storm) vs. Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D. and Jamie Hayter (Part II)

By itself, the match was just great. The only problem...

Why're we getting 50/50 matches in AEW? Nobody asked for this. Granted, yes, the women's division is still unfortunately small, but jeez.

August 6 (Battle of the Belts III) - Thunder Rosa vs. Jamie Hayter (AEW Women's World Championship Match)

Only two downsides here:

Number one, Jamie's nose was broken during this match.

Number two, this spawned one of the dumbest backstage rumors yet. Can anyone seriously believe that Thunder Rosa hid in the bathroom after this?

August 10 (Dynamite - Quake by the Lake) - Jade Cargill vs. Madison Rayne (TBS Championship Match)

Again, better than I thought. However, it's only a small little stepping stone in Jade's reign.

August 17 (Dynamite - House of the Dragon) - Toni Storm vs. KiLynn King

Well, I can finally say it.

Seriously... is KiLynn King signed yet?

Other Honorable Mentions

August 12 (Rampage - Quake by the Lake) - Sammy Guevara and Tay Melo vs. Dante Martin and Skye Blue (AAA Mixed Tag Team Championship Match)

Yes, Tay's back to using her original name now. Also, we never talk about how good she is at selling a hit.

"Because I liked it, okay?" Mentions

August 3 (Dynamite) - Orange Cassidy vs. Jay Lethal

The real reason?

Honestly... because of Chuck and Trent in a trenchcoat. I know, I'm easily amused by silly things.

August 26 (Rampage) - Claudio Castagnoli vs. Dustin Rhodes (ROH World Championship Match)

Yeah, we truly don't see Mr. Rhodes much, do we? Alright, fair enough.

Kinda of one of those hidden gems that nobody will unfortunately talk about, probably because it was on Rampage.

August 30 (Dark) - Julia Hart vs. Vicky Dreamboat

I have no idea why I liked it so much. I do want to know one thing...

When's Julia getting a match on Dynamite? Come on, just do it.

"You thought you had a real problem here." Mentions

August 24 (Dynamite) - CM Punk vs. Jon Moxley (Undisputed AEW World Title Match)

"Oh! Oh, I'm sorry! Was that not how that was supposed to go?!"

Well, the petty side of me wants all y'all motherfuckers to apologize to the cowboy right the fuck now.

"Oh, Hangman's reign was terrible! He deserved to lose the belt to a more popular guy! He was better off chasing the belt, anyway!" (And let's ignore the fact that if Hangman was still stuck on the chase, those same people would be bitching about why he hasn't won the belt yet.)

And then CM Punk broke his foot three days after winning the belt, had zero successful title defenses, and got squashed in less than five minutes. Not only that, he dethroned Chris Jericho for the title of shortest reign... at 87 days. Weakass weaksauce bullshit. Goddammit. At least Jericho's reign lasted at least half a year. What was this shit?

However... the analytical side of me realizes that something is up. It's more than a squash match. Punk came up to the house that was built by others, easily sat on the throne, then he easily got dethroned by one of the originals.

It's not the end of the story. Something's about to happen.

I don't know if Punk will demand a rematch. I don't know if he does that and wins the belt back. What I do know, however...

CM Punk is going to turn heel somewhere down the line.

(Yeah, guess what. August 31's episode of Dynamite confirmed a rematch for All Out, and his speech sounded pretty damn heelish...)

"Maybe it was a problem." Mentions
(Where it's ultimately up to you if it's a problem.)

August 26 (Rampage) - House of Black vs. Dark Order (Trios Quarterfinal Match)

I have seen two split reactions right down the middle regarding this: Either you understood the result or you hated the result. That's it. No in-between. Again, that's up to you.

However, I can't agree with some people who say that this was considered the worst booking decision this year by some people. Oh... okay. I guess we can ignore the shitty Sammy/Scorpio feud that turned the TNT belt into a fucking paper weight and gave Sammy nuclear go away heat (some of it being incredibly unwarranted, in my honest opinion) that he's probably never gonna shake off, the poorly booked finals of the Owen Hart Cup (and hell, most of Double or Nothing as a goddamn whole with the exception of Anarchy in the Arena and a few other matches), that one women's match at Revolution 2022... I can go on here. There's much worse than this.

Regardless, what I will say is this: The House of Black will be just fine as a whole. I will admit that I didn't like how they suddenly forgot that they had a match and got easily distracted by Miro, but they'll still be fine.

(I'm still wondering what is happening about the card that had John Silver in a cowboy vest, which means... a certain someone's third book is about to be written. "But what about the Forbidden Door, Sissy?" is what you may or may not ask. Consider that a short story. And seriously, I've seen complaints that there's "too much focus on the Elite"... um, what does the "E" in "AEW" stand for, you dense fools? If you can't figure that out, then that's a you problem.)

"We got a real problem here." Mentions

August 24 (Dynamite) - Once again, the treatment of the women's division is fucking abysmal.

So... CM Punk gets to have a whole segment in the ring about how he'd have to step aside while his foot heals.

Thunder Rosa, however... here, just give her 30 seconds backstage to announce that she's injured. And we don't even know what the injury is on-screen. Cool, thanks, bye.

Yeah, tell me that you don't give a shit about the women's division without telling me that you don't give a shit about the women's division.

(I know, the boss tried to mention that he found out about Rosa's injury the afternoon prior to the announcement, while Punk's injury announcement happened two days after the injury, which does translate to more prep time... but hell, you couldn't have her come out and announce it on the ramp? Jeez.)

Summer's coming to an end, and it's time to go All Out! Head to September!
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