Sissy Rambles About AEW Matches in 2022 (Part 3: April)

Sissy Analyzes Random Things: Sissy Rambles About AEW Matches in 2022 (Part 3: April)

Oops. Looks like March was a jam-packed month. I tried to make it bi-monthly, and I still rambled too damn much. I'll be honest; I might have missed a few matches this month, since a new job has tired me out in the last week of April, but I've tried to document what I could there.

Now then... welcome to Part 3. What did you miss?
-January and February? They're right here.
-March? It's right here.

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April

Match of the Month

Men: April 6 (Dynamite) - FTR (Dax Harwood and Cash Wheeler) vs. Young Bucks (Matt and Nick Jackson) (Part II) (AAA and Ring Of Honor Tag Team Championships)
(That's not a typo, that match was indeed for two title belts. Last time these two teams met was during Full Gear 2020, where the Bucks defeated FTR to gain the AEW World Tag Team Championship belts. Also, if you haven't seen the Briscoes vs. FTR from April 1's Supercard of Honor, please go do so.)

I'm not going to lie; I placed this here before we all saw it live, because I just knew that it was going to be that damn good.

Holy hot damn, this was indeed a match. I'm literally at a loss for words here. Like I said with the ladder match with Cody and Sammy, I will also advise you to not just watch the clips, because they won't do any justice. Watch the whole damn thing.

I will admit that I slowly warmed up to FTR as time went on. It's not that I hated them (well, story wise, I had to boo 'em for what they did to a certain cowboy in 2020, but that's beside the point), it's just that I haven't seen much of their stuff until recently.

FTR is a damn good tag team. Seriously, their in-ring work and chemistry is absolutely phenomenal.

Women: April 27 (Dynamite) - Serena Deeb vs. Hikaru Shida (Part V. That's not a joke, it's really Part V.) (Philly Street Fight)

Hmm, the women have had quite an iffy month when it came to booking, not going to lie. I actually think that this is the best match for this month, to be honest. It looks like the division is slowly trying to make more rivalries, but it looks like we'd definitely need new signings for the ladies for that to happen.

Honorable Mentions - Men

April 1 (Rampage) - Young Bucks (Matt and Nick Jackson) vs. Top Flight (Darius and Dante Martin) (Part II)

Love 'em or hate 'em, better enjoy the Bucks going 'round in the squared circle while they still have it. And I still have that feeling that the Martin brothers will hold tag team gold one day. I'll enjoy that whenever it happens.

April 1 (Rampage) - Keith Lee vs. Powerhouse Hobbs

Strength versus strength makes one heck of a match, doesn't it?

April 6 (Dynamite) - Christian Cage vs. Adam Cole

If it wasn't going to be the main event, it sure as hell was definitely going to be the opener. And it got the crowd on their feet!

Just have fun with this match.

April 8 (Rampage) - Bryan Danielson vs. Trent Beretta

I think we all know why this match really hasn't been talked about when it comes to April 8.

This match is an underrated gem.

April 8 (Rampage) - Jon Moxley vs. Wheeler Yuta (Part III. Year of Part III continues.)

So... Yuta decided to jump the gun and suddenly turn into Darby Allin for a bit, I guess.

And then it got even crazier. Enter the crimson mask.

And then Yuta turned into Danielson for a bit.

This wasn't a match. This was an incredibly bloody brawl that was full of so many surprising near falls.

Yuta kicked out of two Paradigm Shifts. This entire thing proved that he is no longer a glorified jobber. This is real. He's now part of the Blackpool Combat Club.

Wheeler Yuta is a goddamn star.

April 13 (Dynamite) - Penta Oscuro vs. CM Punk

Just because I'm laser focused on analyzing Hangman's run as champion doesn't mean that I'll ignore everything else that's happening.

Let's be honest, Punk botched on the top rope. However, turning a botch into a storyline on the fly in the middle of a match is genius as all hell.

If we end up with Hangman vs. Punk at Double or Nothing, it'll be a damn good story when the match happens. Both of those dudes are great at telling a story in the squared circle.

April 13 (Dynamite) - Jurassic Express (Jungle Boy and Luchasaurus) vs. reDRagon (Bobby Fish and Kyle O'Reilly) (AEW World Tag Team Championship Match)

My, my! I thought that there'd be a title change!

Then I realized that it was doomed to end in failure, anyway. It certainly felt like a Revolution Redux, didn't it? The Undisputed Elite came up short then, so of course they had to come up short on this championship week.

April 13 (Dynamite) - Keith Lee and Swerve Strickland vs. Team Taz (Ricky Starks and Powerhouse Hobbs)

I said to my boyfriend, "If Keith Lee yeets Powerhouse Hobbs across the ring, I'll scream."

What I got was something different: Swerve doing a moonsault off of Lee's chest.

I screamed at that because I'm an easily amused dork.

All four of these men are great. The chemistry was great. All in all, really fun stuff.

April 13 (Dynamite) - Minoru Suzuki vs. Samoa Joe (ROH World Television Championship Match)

I'm not gonna lie, all I remember from this match were the chops. It's not that the rest of the match was forgettable, it's just... surviving chops from Minoru Suzuki.

Unfortunately, what happened after the match caused a whole lot of confusion (and the reason why it happened was because of a business merger), but let's not talk about that.

April 15 (Rampage) - Blackpool Combat Club (Bryan Danielson, Jon Moxley, and Wheeler Yuta) vs. Gunn Club (Billy Ass and the Ass Boys)

Bryan Danielson (arriving from the heel tunnel), Jon Moxley (arriving through the crowd), and Wheeler Yuta (arriving from the face tunnel) are in a team. And guess who gets the loudest chants? Yuta.

Dude, he's so popular with the crowd that it's not even funny. Know what catapulted him even further?

He pinned Billy Gunn, and he ended the Gunn Club's undefeated Trios streak.

Once again... Wheeler Yuta is a goddamn star.

April 15 (Rampage) - "Hangman" Adam Page vs. Adam Cole (Part II) (AEW World Championship Match; Texas Death Match)
(Have some facts here: This is the first time that the AEW World Championship has been defended on Rampage. This is also the first time that Hangman has competed on Rampage. At this point in time, he is now tied with Lance Archer in having the most appearances in a Texas Death Match at two. There have only been three of these matches so far, and this is the first one on Rampage.)

"They say there are two types of men: those with a loaded gun, and those who dig. Adam Cole... you're almost done digging."

Ah, shit. Here we go again. I told all of you to saddle up in the last part for a reason.

It looks like a certain someone's appearance at the end of February's Texas Death Match may have hinted to this one happening. It also looks like "Story Time with Adam Page" may have hinted about this, too. There's always a bunch of hidden story nuggets here.

Now, it's time for an analysis of this whole situation that just about everyone (myself included!) pretty much threw to the backburner. I will also explain why this stipulation is here, since people have been complaining about "yet another Texas Death Match". Can't wait for them to discover GCW. Will they complain about "nothing but death matches" there?

Honestly, I thought that this feud was literally going nowhere because Cole didn't tap into Page's past to try to mess with him. He brought in Jay White for a bit (since Page challenged White for the IWGP US championship in 2018, and White verbally tore him apart at a contract signing), and he said that he knew the champ for a decade (I thought it would reference Page being in a stable that was actually called Decade when he was in Ring of Honor). So I sat there like a dork wondering if anything was going to heat up.

Then I realized... one of Hangman's promos from last year mentioned "learning to let the past live in the past". He's no longer worried about what happened then, he's dealing with what's happening now. He thought that he was done with Cole. He even shook his hand after defeating him at Revolution. And Cole got salty about the defeat to the point that he literally antagonized him, got his buddies to beat up the champ, and stole his title belt.

And that's why Adam Page snapped and decided that he was going to murder Adam Cole.

That's why we have another Texas Death Match. That's why Cole was a bit shaken up about this (even though he denies that), because he didn't expect the champ to gain the confidence to actually fight back. Also note that it was Hangman who made a stipulation in a title defense for the first time, even though he was nervous about his first Texas Death Match for about two seconds. This stipulation was not made for shits and giggles. He gained the confidence needed after his third defense and used that as leverage since he now has experience in those kinds of matches. We have now seen a literal 180 from "Can I be a good champion?" to "I am the champion, and I'm calling my shot here."

However, it looks like all of this confidence might be coming with a scary side effect of being one angry champion. It's now gotten to the point where he's downing alcohol again (however, we don't know if that was a one time thing yet). Now the next question is... will it corrupt him like it corrupted a certain Kenny Omega? We'll have to wait and see.

The AEW World Championship is quite a thing. I might have to analyze the first four title reigns one day.

Analysis done, let's talk about the match.

Well, Mr. Cole, it's amazing that it requires extreme measures to get you off of people's backs. It's also amazing that you've pissed off Orange Cassidy and Hangman... and they're two people who happen to be very scary when they're pushed to the limit. Never piss off the nice ones.

My goodness, this might not have been bloody as the last two death matches, but it was still something. Don't get me wrong; while I thought that their match at Revolution was good, I personally thought that this was the better title defense against Cole, since this match showed off a ton of tension that spanned a decade. And the ending, my goodness, the ending!

I do believe that the actual intention was to give Cole the most pain possible while doing a piledriver through a table, which actually was the story leading up to this match here (and if you remember, he did this exact same thing at Revolution, but without the barbed wire crown, of course). Seriously, if you go back and watch the preview that led up to this, Hangman talks about wanting to literally hurt Cole in many ways. Even the announcing desk just mentioned the barbed wire with no added intentions whatsoever.

The alternate (and I'll be honest, accidental) meaning is that Adam Page made a martyr out of Adam Cole. On Good Friday, no less.

It's even crazier if you remember that Hangman's Deadeye used to be called Rite of Passage.

If you want my honest opinion... if FTR vs. the Young Bucks Part II didn't happen, this would be sitting under the Match of the Month banner. It's simply crazy that the cowboy's title defenses have that pattern of "They're great, but something greater happened this month".

(Yes, I am aware that people have complained about the ending of this match, which is heavily ironic because Chris Jericho's theme is literally fucking called "Judas"! And that's without going into any other religion related shenanigans that other wrestling companies have done in the past. And yes, I'm also aware that the people who are complaining about this are whiny hypocrites. It's simply amazing that the champ pissed off the homophobes last month, and now he's pissing off the hypocritical bible-thumpers.)

April 16 (Battle of the Belts II) - Scorpio Sky vs. Sammy Guevara (Part II) (TNT Championship Match)
(Have a fun fact: Sammy is the only person who has participated in both Battle of the Belts presentations, and he technically was the challenger in both occasions.)

Alright, time for a rant. Yeah, it's a rant that doesn't involve Hangman for once. I'm shocked, too.

I'm going to be blunt.

This. Feud. Is. Absolute. Shit.

It was one of the absolute worst things that I've ever seen play out in AEW. Don't get me wrong. You all know that I like Sammy. I also like Tay, especially with how she improved with her general in-ring work. I like the Men of the Year and their stint as co-presenters at the AEW Awards. Ethan Page and Scorpio Sky are silly and great dudes.

But let's be real, this feud hurt everyone. This whole shitshow was just, "Let's ignore Sammy's request for a title match, which causes Sammy and Tay to break Dan Lambert's car, and let's slut-shame Tay". Note how Sammy was never called out for those squicky ass actions that he and Tay did with the TNT belts (though Sammy himself was only "called out" once for bonking in general, I guess). It was only Tay. The double standards were real in this bullshit.

It was the old Codyverse shit that just removed Cody and Brandi and replaced them with Sammy and Tay. It was the laziest copy and paste bullshit that the characters and the audience had to suffer through.

With this completely useless title swap, this might have implied that Sammy was meant to be dethroned on the Christmas Rampage last year, then Scorpio wins the belt from Cody (if you assume that Cody got dethroned on the same day that Sammy got dethroned)... then there was a possibility that Cody would've won it back, which could've given him a fourth reign.

This shit should've been killed dead the moment that Cody and Brandi left AEW.

This shit gave me the impression that I don't want to see Dan Lambert on my screen (and if he was on my screen, I sure as hell didn't want to hear him talk). I didn't mind the obnoxious exaggerated villain who gloated about Chris Jericho not being able to wrestle or release another Fozzy record ever again, but this was shitty cheap heat.

This shit buried Scorpio Sky, buried his streak, and made his reign absolutely fucking worthless. His reign was only 38 days long. He only had one successful title defense. Ironically, while that was miserably short, the record still goes to Cody's second reign, which lasted a mere month before he dropped it to Darby (even more ironic, Darby's run is still recorded as the longest run as of this writing).

And I'm going to feel very weird seeing my two favorite guys side by side in the championship circle again, knowing that one is still loved, and the other is now loathed. I made my peace when Sammy lost the TNT title last month.

Ironically, this now means that everyone who is holding a belt in AEW is someone who I like right now. I wished for this particular group of six champions to take place after Revolution. Well, I got my wish, but at what cost? I feel like I made that wish with a damn monkey's paw.

However, I do feel that Sammy should not have gotten a third reign this soon. If he got the belt back in 2023 or 2024, I would've been okay with that. But now? No. The TNT Championship is pretty much the Sammy Guevara Championship Belt now, and that's not great. And no, it's not a step up from "The Cody Rhodes Championship Belt", either.

I will clarify that absolutely none of this is Sammy's fault, since we all should know that he didn't book himself to win the damn belt. That's on how poorly booked the TNT Championship is right now. And that's a damn shame, because Sammy's reign as the undisputed TNT Champion was one hell of a great ride.

Rant over.

Was the match good? Yes, I can't lie. Sammy's still great in the ring. Scorpio's still great, too. I don't know if Scorpio and his group will turn face (and they shouldn't, because I'm not rooting for slut-shaming), but with the low blow that Sammy did and Tay slapping Sky's hands off the bottom rope... they're definitely turning heel.

I would not mind the heel turn one bit. It's also incredibly funny that once again, Sammy and Hangman are now truly counterparts to each other.

We can move on, right? We're done, right?

Wait. You're telling me that this feud ain't over? So it isn't done yet?

...there's a ladder match for the TNT Championship on April 27th. So... we're just going to try to rehash this when we already had a stellar ladder match for the same belt back in January...?

So we're just gonna pretend that Cody didn't exist or some shit?

Oh, God, shoot me.

April 16 (Battle of the Belts II) - Jonathan Gresham vs. Dalton Castle (Part II... technically.) (ROH World Championship Match)

Well, it's under Ring of Honor rules. However, this match was on an AEW program, so I'll count it!

The first time that I've seen these two in action (well, in different matches, obviously) was at the Supercard of Honor earlier in the month.

Man, this is what I missed out on by not watching wrestling until last year. Both of these guys are great.

Only little negative I have about this is that I wish that the match was longer.

April 20 (Dynamite) - Dustin Rhodes vs. CM Punk

So. These two battled in a ring for the first time, huh? Honestly, seeing these two was quite enjoyable. I still like seeing Dustin every once in a while.

However... I'll admit that I gasped out loud when a certain theme song played. It's going to happen. I'm scared and excited.

(And it was confirmed on the April 27th edition of Dynamite. We're officially getting Hangman vs. Punk.)

April 20 (Dynamite) - Andrade el Idolo vs. Darby Allin (Part II; Coffin Match)

It's one thing to piss off Darby to the point where you're dragged into a Coffin Match.

It's another thing when said coffin [has thumbtacks under the lid].

(Yes, highlight between the brackets. I don't like saying surprises out loud. It ruins the fun!)

April 22 (Rampage) - Adam Cole vs. Tomohiro Ishii (Owen Hart Cup Qualifying Match)

I wonder... will Ishii be in one of the Forbidden Door Matches in June? I don't know NJPW like the back of my hand, but the dude's pretty neat.

April 27 (Dynamite) - Dax Harwood vs. Cash Wheeler (Owen Hart Cup Qualifying Match)

You know... I loved putting in "and", not "vs." with these guys. I honestly couldn't pick a side because I didn't want either man to lose. I guess if you want the full effect of this, you might want to watch the promo for said match before watching the match itself. It's just incredibly good.

April 27 (Dynamite) - Sammy Guevara vs. Scorpio Sky (Part III... because of course.) (TNT Championship Match; Ladder Match)

Rant again.

This! Feud! Is! Absolute! Shit!

What was even the point of dethroning Scorpio to give the belt to Sammy, and now his third reign is now the shortest reign in history? No, not just as the TNT champion, but in all of AEW up to this point.

This reign was... 11. Fucking. Days. Long.

Scorpio shouldn't have lost the belt earlier if this was going to happen. Why even bother? Who is booking this bullshit? They really are trying to erase Cody's ladder match, shortest reign, and everything leading up to this. Too bad that that they're doing it extremely poorly.

This doesn't make any sense. This is some WWE type bullshit.

Fuck's sake. The FTW belt is booked better than this hot potato'd TNT bullshit. Jeez, this belt has some problems.

Rant over.

The match was a hot mess in a good way, though. I still like Sammy and Scorpio, but I'll admit to the fact that I just sat there being an uninterested ass because I didn't give two shits about who would or should win since this dumbass feud killed everything for me. It was good, yes. But it wasn't better than a certain ladder match in January that made the match of the month for the guys... and no, I'm not going to remove it and replace it with Hangman vs. Danielson Part II. I'm not going to pretend that it didn't exist.

The little "couldn't catch lightning in a bottle twice" thing with the ladder cutter counter was prety nice.

Now... is this shit over?

...oh, right. There's supposed to be a mixed tag team match in the future.

Oh, God, shoot me!

April 29 (Rampage) - Swerve Strickland vs. Darby Allin (Owen Hart Cup Qualifying Match)

Well, this could've gone either way. I honestly didn't know who I wanted to root for.

April 29 (Rampage) - Samoa Joe vs. Trent Beretta (ROH TV Championship Match)

Seriously, Trent really does have some underrated matches.

Honorable Mentions - Women

April 8 (Rampage) - Willow Nightingale vs. Red Velvet (Owen Hart Cup Qualifying Match)

Seriously, sign Willow Nightingale. Please. The crowd was literally booing Red Velvet when she won instead. Nice to know that Velvet played to the crowd like a pro.

April 15 (Rampage) - Ruby Soho vs. Robyn Renegade (Owen Hart Cup Qualifying Match)

Seriously, sign the Renegade Twins. Please. I'd love to see them on my TV more often.

April 16 (Battle of the Belts II) - Thunder Rosa vs. Nyla Rose (Part III. Again?) (AEW Women's World Championship Match)

Well, well! Thunder Rosa does not miss! Nyla Rose also does not miss!

I loved both of their outfits and entrances.

April 25 (Dark Elevation) - Kris Statlander vs. Julia Hart

I know, Julia isn't perfect in the ring, and that's alright. I'm just wondering if we're going to get that House of Black connection up and running soon.

"Because I liked it, okay?" Mentions

April 4 (Dark Elevation) - Best Friends (Trent Beretta and Chuck Taylor) vs. The Workhorsemen (JD Drake and Anthony Henry)

Nobody really talks about the Workhorsemen much in AEW. From what I've seen, they're a pretty damn good tag team. I really should see more of these two whenever I can get the chance.

April 6 (Dynamite) - Samoa Joe vs. Max Caster (Owen Hart Cup Qualifying Match)

Samoa Joe ain't gonna kill you, huh?

Dude, he killed you.

(Later, Max tweeted that he was alive. Glad to hear that he found a 1-up monitor or something.)

April 6 (Dynamite) - Hikaru Shida vs. Julia Hart (Owen Hart Cup Qualifying Match)

Man, I love Shida. She's great.

Wasn't the best match in the world, but it wasn't godawful, either. It was a decent match in a jam-packed Dynamite.

April 13 (Dynamite) - MJF vs. "Captain" Shawn Dean (Part... II, I guess)
(Last time these two... "met"? It was right after the bloody rematch between Hangman and Danielson on January 5.)

The first match ended in a DQ loss for Max. This time, it was a count-out because a bunch of security guards blocked the ramp and that caused Max to be unable to return to the ring in time.

Oh, dear. Yeah, unless he gets a contendership stipulation, MJF is officially in no position to dethrone Hangman. His record's now 1-3, and two of those losses were against Dean himself. He's screwed, and it's all his fault.

Speaking of that, Shawn Dean's now the "Luigi Wins By Doing Nothing" guy in AEW.

I think we're slowly aiming to get MJF vs. Wardlow at Double or Nothing. That will be an interesting sight to see.

April 22 (Rampage) - Jade Cargill vs. Marina Shafir (TBS Championship Match)

30-0. Come on, we all knew it was happening.

Honestly, I was a little worried about this match, and it was not because of Jade. It was due to the crowd literally being so damn unresponsive to Marina lately. I don't hate her, and I really do want to like her, but she's somehow not clicking for me.

The match was... to be fair, it was alright. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Did this match showcase how much Jade has improved? Absolutely. I do think people are exaggerating about how "boring" the match was.. and in the case of one person, thought that this was worse than Jade vs. Ruby on January 5. I think that person's drinking something weird. Like, what do y'all want? People want more women's matches, and then they piss and moan about how "boring" the match was in the same breath. And then they piss and moan about how underwhelming the women's division is! I'm not saying that "you should be grateful", because that's garbage. I'm saying that pissing and bitching instead of giving out constructive criticism makes everything worse.

I'm also going to say this; if you still don't think that Jade has improved... that's not a Jade problem. That's a you problem.

April 25 (Dark Elevation) - Konosuke Takeshita vs. Brandon Cutler

You know, I can't decide if I like Serpentico or Cutler more as my favorite comedy jobber.

April 25 (Dark Elevation) - Minoru Suzuki vs. QT Marshall

I am thoroughly convinced that I like seeing Marshall sell hits now. It's so ridiculous, and yet it feels so silly to watch.

Hangman Page vs. CM Punk? Sissy's betting on the cowboy! Continue on to May!
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