Sissy Rambles About AEW Matches in 2022 (Part 2: March)

Sissy Analyzes Random Things: Sissy Rambles About AEW Matches in 2022 (Part 2: March)

Welcome to Part 2. Did you miss the ramblings from January and February? They're right here.

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March

Match of the Month

Men: March 6 (Revolution) - CM Punk vs. MJF (Part II; Dog Collar Match)

Before March 2, we all had the feeling that MJF would win cleanly. He even told the world his villain origin story.

And then March 2 happened and he bloodied the hell out of CM Punk's head.

And then Punk turned back the clock to make a throwback to his Ring of Honor days.

And that's when we knew that MJF would not come out of that ring as the victor.

Seriously, Max... the trolling of the titantron graphics in your All Out match against Jericho didn't work then, and the trolling graphics against Punk didn't work here. Maybe it's time for a change in strategy?

This feud has a ton of layers to it, and it's great. Unfortunately for Max, this match completely ruined his 2022 singles record. It now stands at 1-2. Unless he betters that record or wins a number one contender stipulation, he's not in any position to be Hangman's next challenger. However... Punk is in a position to do what Max originally planned. So much for taking a big ol' Cowboy Shit right on that title reign, huh?

Do I still think that MJF will dethrone Hangman in the end? Eh... kind of. There's still a slight possibility, but it's looking murky. But right now? Not a damn chance.

Women: March 16 (Dynamite St. Patrick's Day Slam) - Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D. vs. Thunder Rosa (Part III. This is the year of Part III so far.) (AEW Women's World Championship Match; Steel Cage Match)

Oh, no, it's gory self-mutilation! Call the Toronto Star right now!

Sorry, had to get that blatant jab out of my system. Anyway...

Much better!

Isn't it amazing how you can have two women at their best and not have idiotic bullshit crony interference to ruin it? Honestly, no matter your opinion on blading in general, you got a match. Turns out that it was the first women's steel cage match in this company! Those two sure like to do some company firsts, huh? I ain't complaining!

I shall take the time to state that Baker's match with Kris Statlander from All Out 2021 is also criminally underrated. And yes, it didn't help that... yeah, the Young Bucks vs. the Lucha Brothers was right after it. What is it with underrated matches coming before the matches that everyone talks about? Odd.

(Props to Rosa for her stellar enterance, and props to the good doctor for the Scott Hall tribute outfit.)

Honorable Mentions - Men

March 2 (Dynamite) - Bryan Danielson vs. Christopher Daniels

So, Ring of Honor was purchased by the head honcho. This was a tribute match since these two men were the first main event for that company. And what a tribute it was.

You know... it was beautiful to see the past and the present all in one ring.

And it all ended when Danielson kicked Daniels' head in because this ain't Ring of Honor. Of course he did. Why wouldn't he do that?

March 4 (Rampage) - Sammy Guevara vs. Darby Allin vs. Andrade el Idolo (TNT Championship Match; Triple Threat Match)

We kicked, we screamed, and we whined because this didn't make it to Revolution. So we got it here.

And it did not disappoint one bit. Seriously, we got a PPV style match before the actual damn PPV!

The champ promised everyone that every time he was on our televisions, we'd get a show, and he clearly did not lie to us. Major props need to be given to all three of these men for a stellar performance.

It's also proof that Andrade's no pushover, either. Seriously, two finishers were needed to take him down.

I'm still convinced that Sammy literally fell from the damn sky to do what he had to do at the end of that match. What a ride. Sammy's second title run has indeed been much better than his first.

March 6 (Revolution Buy-In) - Death Triangle (Penta Oscuro and PAC) and Erick Redbeard vs. House of Black (Malakai Black, Brody King, and Buddy Matthews)

They gave this match to us for free.

They gave this match to us for free!

That's how much promise Revolution gave to you, when even the Buy-In was an event that you couldn't miss. And even if you did, you can always go their YouTube channel to see it.

March 6 (Revolution) - Eddie Kingston vs. Chris Jericho

Eddie! Eddie! Eddie!

I'm so happy that he finally won a damn PPV match. Now let's go one step further. Give that man a belt. Which one? I don't care which one!

Seriously, if I can root for Hangman's payoff, I'm damn sure gonna root for Eddie's payoff, too.

March 6 (Revolution) - Jurassic Express (Jungle Boy and Luchasaurus) vs. reDRagon (Bobby Fish and Kyle O'Reilly) vs. Young Bucks (Matt and Nick Jackson) (AEW World Tag Team Championship Match; Triple Threat Match)

No, the Young Bucks didn't book themselves to be on the damn Pay-Per-View. They don't have booking powers no more. (And here's a fun fact; the Jacksons haven't missed a PPV yet! They're the only ones from the original makeup of the Elite to maintain a perfect record so far.)

The minute I knew that the Young Bucks would win the Casino Battle Royale happened when reDRagon won the Tag Team Battle Royal. And when all of that was confirmed, I knew that there'd be infighting that would wreck them to the point that Jurassic Express would retain their belts.

Surprise, surprise, look what happened!

Sure, the dance partners were spotted from twenty miles away, but you still got a show. In the end, that's all that truly mattered.

March 6 (Revolution) - The Face of the Revolution Ladder Match (Keith Lee, Wardlow, Ricky Starks, Powerhouse Hobbs, Orange Cassidy, Christian Cage) (The winner gets a TNT Championship match.)

Never thought I'd put in a ladder match as an honorable mention, but here we are.

This was absolutely insane. You want to see how lazy Orange Cassidy can get? He doesn't want to open a ladder and climb it himself, so watch him try to find unique ways to grab the Sonic Bonus Ring. Sure, he was in a ladder match before, but honestly, I never expected him to steal the show here. Brilliant and hilarious.

March 6 (Revolution) - Jon Moxley vs. Bryan Danielson

Hey, they advertised blood for this match, and we got it. You got one of the best brawlers in the world facing off against one of the best technical wrestlers in the world. What more needs to be said, really? It's quality stuff right here.

March 6 (Revolution) - Sammy Guevara, Darby Allin, and Sting vs. Andrade el Idolo, Isiah Kassidy, and Matt Hardy (Tornado Trios Match)

Okay, time to laugh at all of the people who complained that this match would be an instant bathroom break. Bathroom breaks in an AEW Pay-Per-View are very rare, my friends.

Sammy, I adore you like I adore Hangman... but you keep giving me metaphorical heart attacks.

Even more ironic is that Darby's one of my boyfriend's favorites on the roster, and he gives everyone metaphorical heart attacks, so what the hell am I complaining about, then?

This was a hot mess. By the way, that's a compliment. While this served as a cooldown between the rest of the matches and the main event, it was still something to watch.

It was because everyone went nuts. And I do mean everyone.

Seriously... Sting is 62.

March 6 (Revolution) - "Hangman" Adam Page vs. Adam Cole (AEW World Championship Match)

"And the world listened to the sound of his body hitting the dirt! It's from a freshly cocked Buckshot, and that sound was 'Boom'."

Wait a goddamn second. You're telling me that the champ lowered the Boom and then performed a Buckshot? That sentence makes sense now.

Wait, hold on. You're also telling me that the nameplate graphics didn't make fun of him?

Uh-oh. Mr. Cole, you went and pissed off the cowboy. And good news, the champ didn't bleed for once! To be fair, you got a ton of blood with CM Punk, MJF, Mox, and Bryan, anyway.

Now to talk about the long awaited Battle of the Adams. Get all your Adam memes out, because the crowd certainly did. It was glorious.

Uh, it seems that the champ went a tiny bit heelish to get revenge for being duct taped to the ropes, and his actions outside the ring have caused a bit of a snag in his friendship with Alex Reynolds (and if you remember certain contexts, this slow rift is not good at all). Unfortunately, this match proved that he truly did not escape his past. And he even realized it; he apologized to the audience for what he did after the match ended, but he still admitted that he would do anything to keep the belt.

Saddle up, people. The ride might be getting a little crazier.

Honestly, if nobody else is documenting it, I might have to do a whole analysis on Hangman's title reign (since everyone's obviously looking at the feud between CM Punk and MJF), but I think that would be best to do a write-up on it after he loses the belt. Seriously, people keep sleeping on this man. Just because he won the belt doesn't mean that he should be immediately cast to the wayside. Sure, his feuds for the belt might not have had the biggest impact, but his matches have told very unique stories so far. And I love me a good story, whether it's the feuds that everyone enjoys or the hidden ones that folks don't want to uncover.

Sorry, now it's time for another rant.

Oh, hell. The champ got booed when it was evident that he was going to win. Y'all, Cole wasn't winning. No, he's not "buried". He main evented a PPV for AEW a mere six months after his debut. He got the main event spot before CM Punk and Bryan Danielson. Though, to be fair... beating a beloved person in their (billed) home state would net you some boos, anyway. I mean, look at how much MJF is loved in his home turf.

And you might be wondering why the champ's gear was so colorful. Well, it might be a double meaning. The first is possibly a nod to the Young Bucks' gear. If you saw the Being the Elite episode that centered around Revolution... his vest ended up in the Bucks' room, which could tease a reunion. And the second? Well... Revolution 2022 took place in Orlando, Florida. It was definitely a very subtle protest to a horrendous bill that passed there. Note that the cowboy used to be a teacher. Also, if you're screaming, "Waaah, politics is bad! Keep it out of my wrestling!", but you didn't bitch about Jade (who is billed as being from Vero Beach, Florida, mind you!) smooching Tay in their match? Honestly, you're an idiot.

Oh... it turns out that his gear is a triple meaning. Let this tweet tell you the third meaning.

Regardless, rant over, damn it.

March 9 (Dynamite) - "Hangman" Adam Page vs. Dante Martin (AEW World Championship Match)

Oh. Looks like we found the 7 minute and 30 second title defense (7:27, to be exact). I was just one match off. Now let's hope that we don't get a title defense that's 3 minutes and 45 seconds long.

Seriously, I was not expecting my favorite cowboy in the ring this soon after Revolution.

And now, here are the actual words that I texted to my boyfriend when I found out that this match was a thing...

"fdslkajfelkarjelkjfdlkjflearedsfearewa"

"WHAT IN THE FUCK?!"

I'm well aware that the gibberish above was not coherent in any particular language. Like... y'all went and put one of my guys into a ring with one of my other guys for a title match?! It gets a little impossible to cheer for one when I like both of them, you know! Yes, I'm aware that we all knew who was going to win in the end, but still!

I know, everyone was understandably asking, "Why is this a thing?! Dante's ranked number two, not number one!" Well... I guess the most possible answer is that the top ranked contender at the time (Wardlow) had already been locked in to a TNT title match that was set for the 16th. That's the best thing that I could come up with, honestly.

Also... you remember that Tag Team championship match between Jurassic Express and Silver and Reynolds from January 14? Silver and Reynolds were also ranked second at the time of that match, and the number one contenders at the time (The Acclaimed) decided that they just had to pick a fight with Darby and Sting. Because reasons. Rankings are weird, y'all.

Anyway, thanks to this incredibly unexpected matchup, Dante now holds the record for being the youngest challenger for this particular belt at 21 years. Note that he just turned 21 the week before (his birthday is on March 3). Also note that Page is currently the youngest champion so far at 30 years old.

This match might not have had a major storyline behind it, but it still showed each competitor's growth. They both delivered what they did best, and that's all that really mattered. Even better was how the champ praised the challenger. It says a lot when the person who's holding the promotion's top prize can recognize your potential.

(The graphics didn't make fun of the cowboy again. Is something up? Did his title reign give him a massive boost in confidence, or is he in a constant serious mood? Also, he wore the colorful gear again, since this edition of Dynamite was in Fort Meyers, Florida. Glorious.)

March 9 (Dynamite) - Sammy Guevara vs. Scorpio Sky (TNT Championship Match)

"When Sammy loses his belt, I will cry. When Hangman loses his belt, I will die."

That was my mantra. The first part of it came true for real that night. And yet, there were no tears from me.

By the way, we will not talk about that incident from last Christmas. I refuse to accept that bullshit, even though I recognized Sammy defeating Cody in the last part. I know, I'm a dumb ol' hypocrite. Anyway...

Oh, dear. The period where two of my favorite guys had their pics side by side in the championship section is now officially over. I'm going to mourn what I once had.

But... it's not all bad, right? I mean, their pics were together through half of November, most of December, the last week of January, all of February, and almost the first ten days of March. Sammy himself had that belt on and off since the end of last September, and his second run was indeed much better than his first one. Props to the Spanish God. Having a belt--wait, hold on.

Having two belts might be great, but he's still one of my guys, and I'll always root for him.

Honestly, this match hurt my soul. It wasn't bad or anything. Far from it, actually. It was one of those nail-biter type matches where you kind of waited to see if the champ would retain after dealing with an injury and a very skilled opponent on top of it. And, well, it just didn't go as planned.

But it'll be okay. Rest up, Sammy. You've had a great run with those belts, man.

Hey, at least we'll finally be able to see Scorpio do his stuff more often now. Seriously, you can't have one half of the inaugural tag team champs just sit there and do barely anything for nearly a damn year. Come on, now. Maybe we can also have something with Kazarian since he became the Elite Hunter and... kinda poofed?

(And here's a fun fact: Scorpio Sky is the first in the men's division to hold a tag title and the TNT title. Along with Kenny and Hangman, he's one belt away from being a triple crown winner. To do that, he'd have to win the World Championship. In the case of Kenny and Hangman, they only need to win the TNT Championship for that feat. It's kind of funny that both of the current singles belt holders needs the other one's belt to finish that up.)

March 11 (Rampage) - Swerve Strickland vs. Tony Nese

Y'know, there's a reason why I kept saying to my boyfriend, "Seriously, we need more Tony Nese on TV." Y'all, that man is so goddamn underrated.

And of course, Swerve's debut did not disappoint one bit.

These two men have battled it out in the ring before, so it's no surprise that they both delivered some damn good stuff here.

March 16 (Dynamite St. Patrick's Day Slam) - "Hangman" Adam Page and Jurassic Express (Jungle Boy and Luchasaurus) vs. Adam Cole and reDRagon (Bobby Fish and Kyle O'Reilly)

So Sammy lost his belts last week. Well, there's no more crying about it now, because at least I still have these three wonderful guys holding their respective belts!

This was a lovely opening match.

Also... you just need to see the triple moonsault and the double doomsday device. No, really. It was beautiful stuff.

March 23 (Dynamite) - CM Punk vs. Dax Harwood

Yes, FTR is good. But what about seeing just one of the Living Legends duke it out with the Best in the World? It was quite the match to see, not going to lie to you.

But what has my silly little self worried was the motion that Punk did after his victory. Are we getting Hangman vs. Punk at Double or Nothing?

I won't deny that the match will be great, but... my loyalties lie with the cowboy.

March 23 (Dynamite) - Darby Allin, Sting, and The Hardys (Matt and Jeff Hardy) vs. Private Party (Isiah Kassidy and Marq Quen) and The Butcher and the Blade (8 Man Tornado Match)

Sting is 62.

*checks notes*

Oh, his birthday was on March 20? I see, I see.

Yeah, Sting is 63.

Darby... remains being Darby.

Jeff Hardy's been here for only two weeks.

Yeah, this match might not have been as crazy as the Tornado Trios match from Revolution (that is merely my opinion; it was still good to watch, though), but the highlight of it definitely goes to the crazy spot that Jeff performed.

March 25 (Rampage) - Ricky Starks vs. Swerve Strickland (FTW Championship Match)

You can't kill Ricky Starks, he's absolute!

Seriously, more Ricky matches, please. He's grown on me a lot.

Unfortunately, I'm already hearing complaints that Swerve is "buried".

Good lord, you fools. He wasn't going to get the FTW belt in his second ever match in AEW. I don't know why people think that belts are needed on anyone right now or they're "buried".

March 30 (Dynamite) - Jon Moxley vs. Jay Lethal

It's not that this match was bad, it's just that it took a little bit to get going. That's not a bad thing, by the way. Once it heated up, it got pretty intense with a handful of near falls.

March 30 (Dynamite) - FTR (Dax Harwood and Cash Wheeler) vs. ~~Gunn Club~~ Ass Boys (Austin and Colten Gunn)

Are the Living Legends leaving the Pinnacle? Are they slowly turning face? If it's a yes to both questions, I'm ready to see what will happen next.

And don't think that I haven't seen the Ass Boys improve those ring skills. Just because I've been watching pro wrestling for less than a year doesn't mean that I can't see improvement.

March 30 (Dynamite) - Bryan Danielson vs. Wheeler Yuta

Glorified jobber in AEW no more? You know you're getting somewhere when the crowd is rooting for you. And while it was quite an uphill battle to even defeat Danielson (who, at the time of this writing, has only two losses to his name here by Hangman and Moxley... the current and former World Champions, respectively), the act of defiance was... clearly something, yes.

March 30 (Dynamite) - Darby Allin vs. Andrade el Idolo

Damn. Good. Stuff.

This match proved that Andrade is indeed a threat. We all knew that the man was good, but now that we're seeing him a lot more speaks volumes.

Honorable Mentions - Women

March 6 (Revolution) - Jade Cargill vs. Tay Conti (TBS Championship Match)

Jade goes and dresses up in cosplay as...

*checks notes*

Jade. Yes, Jade in her Mortal Kombat 9 outfit, to be precise.

About the match?

Dude, this woman went and did a sick ass frog splash. You cannot look me in the eyes and tell me that she's not improving, because I'll just call you a whiny ass picky bullshit liar for it. Seriously, she goes and trains with Bryan Danielson, and people will still bitch and moan about it because she's held to a literal impossible standard. That Bitch (her words, not mine) used to have two minute squash matches. Now she's doing eight to ten minute matches. If that's not an improvement, I don't know what is. She's a goddamn star.

Yes, I'll admit that I thought Jade should've gotten the TBS Championship somewhere down the line instead of being the inaugural champion. However, holding that belt forced a sink or swim mentality with her title defenses, and she is swimming like a goddamn pro. The sky's the limit, and I'm glad that she's improving.

Oh, and don't think that I forgot about Tay. She went and mimicked her boyfriend to take out Mark Sterling.

This match was nuts. I couldn't believe my eyes. It ranged from silly (Jade mocking Tay with "That Karate Shit") to intense (Tay's explosive in-ring style).

Was it perfect? No, and it didn't need to be. Did it exceed my expectations? Yes, it certainly did! It was a lot better than the other women's match on Revolution's main card, even if this one was shorter. No, I'm not going to talk about it, either.

March 30 (Dynamite) - The Bunny vs. Toni Storm (Owen Hart Cup Qualifying Match)

Toni Storm? Hold on, is that correct?

Oh, holy shit, it is. Toni Storm is All Elite!

I swear, I think I may have said "Oh, my god!" in rapid fashion for a good minute or two as soon as I saw her.

How ironic that her debut was in a tournament. At least she made it past the first round this time.

Ignore my fangirling and just have fun with this match. This is only the beginning.

"Because I liked it, okay?" Mentions

March 1 (Dark) - Dante Martin vs. Jack Evans

Can we have more TH2 once Angelico heals up fully from his injury? Please? Please? Okay, thank you.

March 2 (Dynamite) - Top Flight is back together again!

When I first started watching AEW, Darius Martin was out due to an injury. This was the very first time that I've seen him in action. It was even better when he was one of the last few people standing. Sure, we all knew that the Bucks were going to win, but this duo of brothers are so popular with the crowd. I'm calling it; those two are gonna hold the tag team championships one day.

March 2 (Dynamite) - "Hangman" Adam Page, John Silver, and Alex Reynolds vs. Adam Cole and reDRagon (Bobby Fish and Kyle O'Reilly)

I'm going to be honest; it wasn't the match itself.

It's what happened afterwards.

Look, we all know what the whole thing actually meant. The actual plotline was that Hangman didn't want his friends being involved in his affairs because he has the title belt and didn't want them to get hurt because of him. He didn't want a repeat of that since Bryan Danielson already kicked the crap out of four of his friends in the past. Being forced to watch his friends getting hurt just made everything worse.

However, I'm pretty sure that a bunch of fangirls got super flustered when they saw the champ being duct taped to the top rope and had his hair yanked. Shit was accidentally kinky, man. (Also, uh... if you're gonna do something similar to that, don't use duct tape. Ever. That ain't safe.) I know that that wasn't the intention, but... whoo, boy.

I swear, Dynamite got lewded up after the Rhodes left.

(And I already know that some certain guys will complain about that. Well, let me ask you something. Did you complain when Jade pinned Bunny in... that manner? No? Then shut up.)

March 4 (Rampage) - Keith Lee vs. JD Drake

Look, we know that the Wingmen are jobbers here. But JD Drake's pretty damn good in the indie scene. It's a nice time waster match if you feel like watching it.

March 6 (Revolution) and March 9 (Dynamite) - Oh, shit, it's William Regal!

(About March 6)
Because a whole lot of people liked it. And I'm pretty sure everyone's favorite part had to involve Regal slapping Bryan when the latter thought that he could get away with being an ass.

(About March 9)
That man's promo was incredibly heartfelt. He apologized for taking up too much time in his speech. Nah, can we just hear that man talk for like an hour? I don't mind, put it on the AEW YouTube channel or something.

March 7 (Dark Elevation) - Wheeler Yuta vs. Aaron Solo

I'm going to be blunt; the end of this match sent my sides into orbit. I will not say what happened, because I do not like to spoil silly surprises.

March 9 (Dynamite) - The worst kept secret in professional wrestling is out!

Look, we all knew that Jeff Hardy was coming here. Still didn't kill the hype, though!

March 11 (Rampage) - Keith Lee vs. QT Marshall

Okay, I'm aware about my hangups with QT the character. At least his character's a lot more tolerable than Dan Lambert's (whom I ironically didn't mind at first since he does play to the crowd well... until the over-reliance of the laziest and cheapest heat came to the forefront more often). However, can we take a second to talk about the man's in-ring work? Dude's a pro. Look at how he sold the stuff that was thrown at him.

March 14 (Dark Elevation) - Frankie Kazarian vs. Tiger Ruas

Honestly, something just clicked when I saw this. Pretty damn good Dark match.

March 16 (Dynamite St. Patrick's Day Slam) - The Jericho Appreciation Society Commencement

Well, now we know why Chris Jericho filed a trademark for "Sports Entertainer".

Yeah, remember "The Lexicon of Le Champion"? This was dumber than that.

While there was a heartwarming moment where Jericho did indeed donate to Daniel Garcia's recovery, most of it was absolutely hilariously hypocritical and ridiculous. If you haven't seen it, here it is.

March 30 (Dynamite) - The Undisputed Elite's "Championship Celebration"

Okay, so I like dumb stuff. The taped up names, the janky little box that had only five balloons in it, Kyle O'Reilly... needed a minute.

A little dumb thing here and there isn't terrible, but the Undisputed Elite need to be careful about their antics going into overkill. We already have a parody of their stuff in the form of the Jericho Appreciation Society, and it would be a mess if we have a parody and the actual thing mixed together in the same company.

Another battle for the belts awaits us! On to April!
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