Mystery Science Theater En Masse: The Movie

Super Special 1: A Cruel Angel's Thesis (Part Twenty)

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Note: Sonia, Jessie, and Keiko will be the main riffers for this chapter.

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Chapter 20 - Body and Soul

Sonia: This fic's destroyed by body and is beginning to suck my soul away.

Benimaru wiped off the streams of sweat that trickled from his hot face as he scanned the room he stood in. The exotic paintings that covered the walls. The shimmering marble altar that stood tall at the center of the room.
"Well well, who would've imagine a magnificent chamber like this sleeping by the Great Pyramids, untouched by those greasy hands of archaeologists!?"

Keiko: ...why are you shouting like a noisy drunken idiot?

"Yes," Hotaru sighed as she fondly ran her finger over the ancient paintings.  "It seems that the people of the time made this shrine to assure the dead souls a quiet sleep in the enternal darkenss. My domain."
Goro looked up at the opaque black chunk of glass that rested on the altar.
"What's this? There's no volcanoes around this area, but this seems like obsidian (type of volcanic rock)?"

Jessie: We... oh, my god, stop holding our hands, please.

"That is the crystalized energy of the Orochi."

Keiko: *confused* In Egypt? Oh, forget it.
Manic: Maybe it's next to Azazel's chamber.
Keiko: *chuckles*

"Whoa!" Benimaru exclaimed in a pseudo-shocked tone as he approached the rock. "This thing is big! So, you're merging with this thing?"
"Yes."
Shingo turned to his former team mate with an uneasy face.
"Uh, Hotaru chan?"
"Yes?"
"This 'absorbing the energy' stuff means that the energy becomes a part of you, right? Then what'll become of you if we destroy that...?"
Hotaru closed her eyes, still feeling the burning eyes of Shingo still fixed on her for an answer.
"There's no data on what happens to a Guardian after its merging with the energy. Probably death, I suspect....."
"No way!"

Keiko: She is not going to die. This is the most unsuspenseful fic that I've ever had the misfortune of reading.

"If that's my fate, I shouldn't fight it. But if you're the one that kills me, I won't complain."
Shingo shifted his eyes to the ground, clenching his fist until it turned painfully white.

Sonia: And now he's probably bleeding.

"I think my conscience will perish once I merge with this enourmous energy. The Dark Dragon Vasilysk that will become of me is a horrible monster, as you can see in Yamazaki Ryuji, my Orochi warrior counterpart. I advise you all to fight for your lives and kill me without hesitation. Now, let's begin."

Sonia, Jessie: Axl?
Axl: Oh, it's actually spelled "Basilisk". And that's... Greek and European mythology. It was said to cause death with a single glance.
Miyu: Oh! And Mr. Yamazaki's Orochi power is actually death!
Keiko: If that's the case... why are we finally mentioning an Orochi counterpart?
Jessie: Because the Suethor finally felt like doing the research for once.

With that, Hotaru slid across the room, and rested her hand on the glassy black rock. Shadows flowed out from the rock and engulfed her, replacing her fragile body with greasy black scales. A horrendous monster stood in front of the three warriors, as they frantically searched for the girl with their eyes.
"Th, this is Hotaru!?"
"Muh....unbelievable...and huge....we have to fight this thing?"
Though he still questioned the sudden situation, Goro dashed towards the beast, Benimaru close behind. Noticing Shingo still standing motionless, Benimaru shouted at him.
"Shingo, what the Hell are you zoning out for!?  Let's go!!"
"I....I can't!! Not against Hotaru....!!"

Sonia: I'm calling it. Shingo's flames will activate in this chapter.


"Whoa, what kinda ruins is this?"
Ralf slapped the enormous piles of sandy bricks as the group moves virtually silently through the desserts not far from Hotaru's group. Chizuru flapped her thin blouse trying to get the hot air that clinged to her body to escape into the even hotter atmosphere.
"It's said that the Tower of Babel was built here a couple of thousand years ago."
"T, Tower of Babel!!? As in the one in the Old Testament!?"
"Yes. I heard that the true meaning of the Tower was to glorify to Orochi as a supreme God."

Axl: Yeah, no! What does a Japanese serpent have to do with the fucking Bible?!
Jessie: Oh, Axl. This mythology stuff really is hurting your head, isn't it?
Axl: You have no idea, Jess.

".........."
Leona looked around nervously at the ruins, as her mind coursed back in time to that day at Chizuru's office.

Sonia: Oh, not another flashback!


"I'll have Miss Leona go with Chizuru san. Chizuru san has lost her powers as Guardian a long time ago, but I hope that's fine."
Kira said as she glanced towards Chizuru.

All: What?!
Sonia: Does this mean that she can't use her mirror powers, either?
Keiko: I don't know. Let's just keep reading.

"Of course. I originally have the strength of the Bahamut within my body, but that power was extinguished from me 5 years ago, when Goenitz attacked me. And when I couldn't hold the overflowing Orochi energy that coursed in me becuase of the disturbance of the balance of my body because of his attacks, my sister saved me. The price she had to pay was her own life......though my sister is no longer alive to release the energy of the Naga, I can substitute her by using this 'Mirror of Yata'".

Jessie: Yeah, um... I'm going to steal Kyo's line here. That's bullshit. Why would Chizuru have Orochi powers when her clan never made a pact with Orochi?
Sonia: No kidding. Also, Chizuru always had the mirror of Yata in her body. It's just not as strong as her twin sister's abilities. Then again, that was probably the whole point of the mirror, to symbolize that she and Maki were twins.
Keiko: "Naga"? James, where did that hail from?
Axl: Hindu mythology.
Sonia: She had to add another one?
Axl: Of course! It's also a serpent deity. Because symbolism.
Jessie: Also, did you two notice that Chizuru originally had the strength of Bahamut, and she couldn't handle it... but the Sue can?
Keiko: *sighs* Of course.
Sonia: Mai did mention that she is a "better Chizuru".

"I don't think you'll even need to use that, though."
"Why?"
Kira turned to Leona.
"It's you, Leona. Though you haven't fully awaken to your Orochi potential, you do have the blood in you. I can feel it."
"!!"
"But you mustn't turn away from that. Even that dreaded blood that flows in you is a part of you.
"You have to face yourself and fight. I have to admit, though , this fight has the potential of awakening your blood in the wrong direction--into an Orochi Warrior."
Leona stared into Kira's eyes with hesitation and confusion.
"But I have to have you wake up to your Orochi blood. You have a magatama, the crystalized soul of an Orochi, sleeping within you. I need that to fight the Orochi when he wakes up. Don't worry, even I am aware of my Orochi blood, and I'm pretty fine with life.

Keiko: Because you're too busy ruining everyone else's lives.

Believe in yourself, and you will surely overcome the power of Orochi."
Kira smiled at her in confidence. She of course knew little of Leona. But she knew what Leona didn't; hte dark secrets of her blood.

Jessie: Of course. Because she's a goddamn Mary Sue. She has to know everything.

And her assurance was more than enough to sooth Leona's unstable heart.
"Thank you......"

Sonia: And now she just stole Ralf's spot. And the spot of Leona's own deceased father. I hate this Mary Sue so much. Jayleen?
Jayleen: It's now stamped, Hedgehog.
Sonia: Thank you.

As the groups were preparing for their departure, Kira stopped Ralf and Clark and pulled them aside, beyond Leona's field of view.
"Now, I need to ask for your help, Mr Jones and Mr Steel..."
"Huh?"

Jessie: *as Ralf* Why? Aren't you too busy doing everything by yourself and turning us into background characters?
Kyo K.: He should give that Sue an Umanori Galactica Phantom. I would pay to see that. I don't care about the fact that he didn't have that move in '97. I want to see it.
Tails: Also, Clark's surname is actually Still. But I'll give this the benefit of the doubt because just about everyone didn't know what the surname was at the time.

"Though I said all that to Leona, I still fear of the potential of her blood.

Keiko: And yet you said it anyway. *facepalms* Bakamono...
Jessie: *facepalms* This two-faced bitch, I swear...

Either way, I think she will be lose her conscience and become a savage fighter once she comes in contact with the energy, the Orochi blood overcoming her soul. That's what's called the Riot of Blood. If you two can't keep her conscience craving to remain in this world in peace, then the Riot of Blood will engulf her soul and mind, making her a killing machine.You two are the only ones that can truely save her in her struggle."

Jessie: And yet... you stole Ralf's spot... while trying to be humble. Bite my camo covered ass, Sue.
Keiko: Once again, the Sue kills the suspense.
Sonia: Of course. We can never have any action in this stupid fanfic.


          
"'Only we are the only ones that can truely save her', huh......."
Clark whispered to himself as he readjusted his navy cap on his head. Ralf smirked an curled his thick arm around his partner's neck, lowering his voice so Leona can't hear.
"Seems like you're thinking the same thing, bud."
"Guess so....but what does she mean?"
"......beats me........"

Jessie: Uh... you're Leona's closest and only friends. Duh.
Sonia: Honestly, Ralf and Clark would put two and two together instantly. They're not this stupid... never mind, I forgot what I was reading here.

"What are you two men sitting there talking for?"  Chizuru broke their secret conversation unexpectedly. "We're here."
The party of four walked into a chamber, or the remains of it. The walls were barely in tact, and the ceiling was missing.  The sun beat down on them mercilessly. At the fartest wall, a huge statue of a woman loomed over the four.
"Hm, an altar to the Babylonian goddess Ishtar, huh? But her torso's a serpent."
"Good obervations, Ralf. But I think it's a statue of the person who made this shrine. Probably an Orochi fighter."
'That makes sense."

Axl: Uh, no, it fucking doesn't! Ishtar was the goddess of war, fertility, and sex!
Keiko: And why would an Orochi fighter make a shrine to anything that wasn't Orochi?
Rory: This doesn't make any sense!
Axl: None of this crap makes any sense!

"......"
Leona stared up at the statue, the woman of the past with the same powers as her own.  (Did she suffer like I did?)

Keiko: She isn't in this fic, so that's a "no".

Leona noticed a huge golden rock at the statue's tail, which looked like amber to her. (What's this?) Bofore she could think of anything, Leona's hand reflexively reached to touch the stone.

Jessie: Well, she's going to head into the Riot of the Blood in a minute.

"So, shall we begin?"
Chizuru reached into her purse to get the 'Mirror of Yata'. Clark nodded eagerly.

Jessie: I don't... I... oh, good lord. *facepalms*
Sonia: It's in her purse?! Again, the Mirror of Yata was always in Chizuru's body! What the hell is wrong with this fanfic?!
Keiko: Everything.

"Yeah. Let's get this over with and get into some shades quick. I'm burning."
"..Leona?"
Ralf looked around the room for his team mate. Leona sat on her knees at the foot of the statue, shaking violently, as if in pain.
"What's wrong? Leona??"

Sonia: She's stuck in this fanfic and it's physically hurting her.

"Hau! Kuu.....guh...."
"What the hell's going on!?"
"Get a hold of yourself, Leona!"
The two men rushed to their team mate's side. Her blue hair that flowed from her ponytail rustled without any wind to assist, and changed its color in front of the party's eyes into a bright magenta. Chizuru noticed the apparent change.
"No!! Don't get close to her, you two!!"
"Wha....?"
"Whoa!!"
"Vv....vvvvvv!!"

Jessie: VVVVVV? I played that game!

Leona crouched on the scorching ground as she glared at the others with blazing eyes.
"This isn't good.....I wonder if she's awaken to her blood now...."
"What!?"
"This is the birth of an Orochi Warrior!?"
"GAAAAAAAAH!!"
Leona howled, and leaped into the hot air, hurling her light body towards the other fighters.

Keiko: You know, this would have more substance if this served as the end of a chapter instead of the end of a scene.


"Ungh, c, cold~~~!!"
Kensou hugged himself in his thick coat as he walked through the corridor made of ice.

Jessie: Now how'd he get into the Johto region?

"Mou, don't whine so much, Kensou. Now I'm starting to feel the cold!"
Athena rubbed her exposed cheeks with her mittens. Fubuki, walking calmly before the two, smiled calmly at them.
"Well, this is Siberia, so I can't blame him."
"What in the world are we here for, Fubuki han!?"
Kensou barely managed to speak with his chattering jaws.
"To the Temple of Wind where the enegy crystal of the winds rest."
"Hope it's not any further," Athena sighed. "But anyway, why did you keep everything a secret, Kensou?"
"Huh? Keep what?"

Sonia: *facepalms* Oh, dear heavens. I want to slap everyone who answers like that off of a mountaintop right now.
Keiko: Well, feel free to slap that pod person off of one.


"So, you're suprised?"
Kira grinned mischieviously at Athena.

Jessie: Uh-oh. Two-faced bitch hole alert.

"Of course I am! Why didn't you tell me you knew Kyo kun as a childhood friend in the first place!?"
"Who was it that jumped at me without the nerves to ask anything about my relationships that day?"

Keiko: And who was the Sue who warped Asamiya out of character in the first place?
Jessie: Keiko, you know that nothing is ever the Sue's fault.

Athena couldn't answer, for the answer was too obvious, in her embarrassment. She puffed her cheeks and pouted.
"Besides, Kensou kun knew about us in the first place."
"Kensou?  Really? He didn't say a word about it to me...."
"Oh? So I guess you don't know about that incident between me and Kensou kun, either...."
"WHAT incident!?"
"Nothing. That's a secret between me and him."
Kira laughed at Athena, who's face was turning red again.

Sonia: You are such an asshole. Pretending that you slept with someone else does not work as a joke when you're not friends with that person!
Jessie: She didn't learn anything from that meeting with Yuki, did she?
Keiko: Of course not. So that just made Asamiya's out of character line from the ninth chapter incredibly accurate. The Sue uses the guys to make the women who aren't Mature and Vice uncomfortable.

"What is this all about!?"
"Come on, I'm just teasing you!

Jessie: *angry* That's not teasing, you bitch trog!

But it seems you're more furious now than with that talk about Kyo. Is it because of Kensou kun...?"
"H, he's just a friend!"
"Then why are you so serious about this conversation?"
".........."
Athen fell silent again, cursing herself for getting so emotional.  But then again she's only 18, young and lively.

Sonia: Don't you dare give me that bullshit, Suethor. Athena's actually the most mature one in her entire team! Yes, Chin's wise, but he's a tiny bit loopy. And Kensou... well, he's Kensou!

"Be more honest to youself, Asamiya san.....but then again, I should do something with my own personality, teasing girls like this..."
Kira giggled to herself.

Jessie: I really want to shoot you right between the eyes. I hate you so fucking much. Jayleen?
Jayleen: I understand, Baxter.
Keiko: Please. We all know that this Sue isn't going to do anything about her own terrible personality. Mentioning a flaw once and never working on it is not character development, Suethor.


"Really, you're so mean....."
Athena muttered to herself, leaving puffs of white breaths around her hazy eyes.

Sonia: ...did she just make Athena cry?
Keiko: *facepalms* I hate this Mary Sue so much. Kirishima...
Jayleen: Request granted, Tsukino. *as she looks at her sheet* My, this is filling up quite nicely. I wonder how much longer it will be before everyone cracks...

"Uh, I don't know what you're upset about, but sorry."
Kensou scratched his head in shame, making Athena chuckle at him a bit.
"Dummie, I'm not talking about you!"
"Eh?"

Sonia: *mimics Kensou* Eh? *normal voice* I'm so tired of everyone answering like that. It just implies that everyone is incredibly stupid.
Keiko: ...but everyone is incredibly stupid in this fic, Hedgehog.
Sonia: You're right, Keiko. My mistake.

"You're talking about her, right?"
Fubuki interupted without turning around at the two.
"She might seem like the type that says everything she thinks and feels, but Kira isn't really that daring, rather the contrary. She probably saw herself in you, and was teasing you for it. She means no harm."

Jessie: *angry* Oh, go fist yourself in the dick, you brown noser!
James: *laughs*
Sonia: Yeah, I guess I'll say the long version since Jessie nicely summed that up. She wasn't "teasing", and she definitely meant some harm. I mean, Athena was insulted by the Suethor herself in Chapter Two. She was insulted by Pod Shingo in Chapter Seven. She was humiliated by the Sue in Chapter Nine. She was insulted by the Sue and Pod Kyo behind her own back in Chapter Fourteen. She rightfully called the Sue out in Chapter Eighteen and had Kyo the mouthpiece sicced on her because she dared to call her out. The Sue's very presence made her turn into an abusive jerk to Kensou in the last chapter. And now the Sue just picked on her in the previous scene and giggled about it! All of the evidence in this fic up to this point does not show that this horrible Mary Sue was teasing Athena at all! For heaven's sake, this Sue is trying to be a "better version" of Athena by tearing her down to make her horrid self look better in comparison!
Keiko: Yeah, and we can clearly see how well that worked with us. Also, the "she really isn't that daring" part is nonsense when you consider everything she's done up to this point. This is just a horrible attempt at having yet another mouthpiece try to make the Sue look humble when she definitely isn't. At all.
Jessie: And she was never good at teasing anyone, especially when she nearly made Yuki cry when they first met and probably made Athena cry in this very scene. *ponts at the screen* Don't shit in my mouth and tell me that I'm eating chocolate, Suethor. You don't like Athena at all. You're probably just bashing her because she doesn't fit your narrow definition of a "real woman".
Akiko: I really want to hurt her.
Tomoko: Join the club, Miyadama.
Jayleen: Ooh? Are you stamping, Miyadama?
Akiko: No. Not yet. I want to see how far I can take this.

"I know."
Athena smiled at Fubuki's back.

Sonia: No, you don't. If you knew, then why were you crying?
Keiko: Because the Sue is never wrong.

"Besides, she's only interested in one man right now. Anyone else is just a friend to her. And I should know that the best....."
Fubuki fiddled with his long bangs as he chuckled to himself.

Kyo L.: Bull. Shit.
Jessie: She used Kyo. She used Iori... who then used her, and that was hilarious. She used Kensou. She used Shingo. She used Yashiro. She even used Fubuki... who is shilling her right now. Sure, she didn't sleep with all of them, but she used them all in some way to make herself look better.
Keiko: Of course he doesn't care about that. That idiot worships the ground that she walks on. And it makes me sick.

"Anyway, I guess we've made it."

Keiko: You "guess"? Either you've made it or you haven't. There is no in-between.

"Whoa, a room built of ice....!"
Kensou ran into the room in amazement.
"Is that diamond over there the crystallized energy?"
Athena pointed at the altar that stood in the center of the cold sanctuary.
"Yeah."
"Look at this, Athena! This rock's totally clear and transpartent!"
"Don't break it, Kensou."

Sonia: Watch it, Kensou. Do you want to turn into those morons who ruined a natural rock formation?

"So, shall we begin, you two?"
Fubuki placed his hand on the huge stone. Athen nodded silently as Kensou jumped in enthusiasm.
"Yeah, let's get out of here before we catch a cold!"
"Very well. But before we start, I'll warn you two now. I will lose all my logic and conscience once I merge with this energy.

Keiko: You've already lost your logic, so we're not going to mourn that.

I'll probably attack you with no mercy. Don't hesitate. Kill me."

Jessie: Well, we don't want you to die. We just want you out of the fic.

Athena stared at Fubuki with rounded eyes.
"But Fubuki san, you're...."
"Iku ze (Here I go)..."
As his eyes blazed with the energy, gusts of wind howled in the room, pushing the two psycho soldiers to the walls, unable to even open their eyes. The winds soon calmed, and the two searched for Fubuki with thier frantic eyes. All that was in the room was a huge dragon with powerful wings and a gleaming body.
"Th, this is....a Wibarn!?"

Sonia: Axl?
Axl: I'm guessing that this fic meant "wyvern"... which is not a dragon. It just has a dragon's head and wings. This fic does have something accurate, in that it's usually associated with the cold and ice. I just wish that this Suethor didn't pick and choose myths like that. And now I'm wondering why I didn't use the wyvern for anything related to my own powers. Huh.
Sonia: Oh, the hilarity.

Kieeeee..!!
As if to respond to its name, the serpent bounded into the cold air and fell with enormous speed towards Kensou.
"Wah!?"
Kensou reflexively fired a Choukyudan to the glassy floor and leaped out of the Wibarn's course. But the serpent's momentum was much quicker than he expected, and a part of its wings that ran across his cheek cut him slightly. A warm crimson stream trickled down Kensou's face.

Jessie: Oh, for fuck's sake. Just say that it's blood.

"We have do something with those wings..."
"Look out!"
Kensou jumped at Athena, deep in thoughts and blind to Wibarn's next attack towards her. He managed to save the unaware girl, as the strong tail penetrated into the ice walls instead of her body.
"This is no time to be chilling out, Athena!"

Keiko: Your puns suck.

"I know! Let's think of something while dodging the dragon's attacks!"
With that, the two fighters ran in opposite directions, effectively dispursing the dragon's attention. But forgetting that he was wearing sneakers on ice floors, Kensou lost his balance and fell miserably to the ground.
"Guee!!"
"Baka!  What are you doing!?"

Sonia: Jeez, this Suethor really did throw Athena out of character. She would never insult Kensou in a serious situation like that.

The dragon didn't miss this opportunity, and thrusted its long neck towards the vulnurable boy. Athena, using the hard ice walls as a jumping board, leaped high over the dragon.
"Over here, Wibarn! Try and get me first!!"
"Athena!?! What are you....?"
The dragon shifted it heavy body to look towards the voice that came from an unexpected angle.
"PHOENIX ARROW!!"
Before it fully understood what happened, the girl turned into a streak of bright light and pierced the wing of the dragon.
Giiiiiie!!!
The dragon collapsed to the ground in misery.

Sonia: I guess Athena's "mosquito bite" power was good for once!

As it saw the girl, who caused all the pain, land safely by it, the furious beast flung its claws at her.
"Kyaaa!!"

Crash!

"Haaaaa!!"
"Eh!?"
Between Athena, who crouched on the floor from the impact, and the scaly claws of the Wibarn stood Kensou. A strange aura coursed around his body.
"Kensou....? This is Senki (Godly powers only hermits can obtain) that surrounds him....?"

Jessie: Suethor? How about some footnotes? Because you just ruined the flow of that sentence.

"Uoooooo!!"
The engergy that seeped from Kensou's body burst into a gust of strong wind, hurling the wind dragon itself to slam into the hard walls of the shrine.

Keiko: Was that... Kensou's dragon spirit?
Sonia: Probably. Then again, who knows what it really does at the moment.

Athena stared at her team mate. As the energy died down from him, Kensou grinned childishly at the serpent and turned to Athena.
"Well, now, we're even!"
The girl didn't answer, but instead flung her arms around the startled boy.
"Wh...what the!?  Are you OK, Athena!?"
(Be more honest to youself, Asamiya san....) The voice of who she first thought of as her rival echoed in Athena's mind. She lefted herself to her toes and quickly pecked Kensou on the lips with her own.
"..................Arigato!"

Jessie: So, the jerkass Sue who insulted her and made her cry... is the best person who ever gave her advice. You know, I don't even know why that two-faced shitstain was telling Athena to be honest with herself, especially when we all know that she jerks everyone around for her own amusement.
Sonia: The hipocrisy is real, Jessie.


"Gaaaagh!!"
"Stop this, Leona!!"
Leona, with no trace of hesitation, dashed towards Ralf. Having no intentions to fight his team mate, Ralf had no choice but to dodge the assault. The girl's fist, missing her target, penetrated into the barren Earth instead.

Jessie: Ralf... isn't... fighing? Ralf. Isn't. Fighting?
James: I don't know what part of the military Pod Ralf came from, but the military training that Jess and I had didn't say anything about standing there like a fucking idiot and hoping that something good will happen.
Keiko: ...don't use "penetrate". I mean, it is used correctly, it's just that some of us are a bit...
Kyo L.: *snickers*
Keiko: ...immature.

"Such power!  I didn't expect her to have this much strength in her!"
"Guh....do we have to do this, Ralf!?"
Chizuru and Clark looked at Ralf for an answer, a command to what they should do.
"I....I believe in Leona!"
Ralf got back to his feet, and turned to Leona. She was curled on the floor, ready to spring into action any minute. Seeing her prey still active, Leona pounced into the air again. Ralf did not move.
"Please, wake up to yourself again, Leona!!"

Jessie: Again... that's not him. Commander Heidern never trained the Ikaris to be morons like this.
Sonia: Sounds like you and James worked with them in the past.
Jessie: For one mission, yes.

DOOoon...!

With the heavy sound of impact booming through the room like thunder, Ralf fell to the floor. His clothes were torn all over, and was bleeding as well.

Sonia: *flatly* What detail.

Clark was about to run to his parnter's defence.
"Ra....Ralf!!"
"S...stay out of this, Clark...I'm fine...."
But Ralf remained on the floor this time.  With a wicked smile, Leona slowly walked to the fallen man and grasped his head. Lifting the man of the floor, she nudged his stomach with her hand. She grinned as Ralf's face twitched in pain and fear.

Jessie: Fear? In Ralf? Are you sure that we're talking about Ralf here?
Keiko: Nope.
James: *sputters* This is ridiculous! I need a stamp. Nobody would go through the military and be this bloody stupid!
Jayleen: Your request has been granted, Daniels.

"Leona, what are you....!?"
Clark exclaimed, though he remained loyal to his partner by not moving.

Jessie: And that's not Clark, either. If this was the real Ralf and Clark, they'd subdue Leona until she calmed down.

"Le........o..na...."
Ralf whispered one last time as he felt his conscience fading from his body. Hearing her name, the girl let go of her grip, letting Ralf fall back onto the floor.
"Guh.....uu...u....."
Clark and Ralf gazed at Leona in amazement, as she hugged herself in seemingly great pain. Chizuru observed the sight.
"Her heart's not totally conquered yet!  She's still fighting herself inside!"
"Leona...?"
"Gu....uaAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

Rory: Sounds like Cassy when you expose her to intense sunlight.
Cassy: Oh, shut up!

Mish!!

Leona burried her fist in her own chest. Her body arched in sharp pain, but she remained on her feet as she slowly pulled her hand out of herself. In her hands she clenched a golden sphere covered with blood. Faintly smiling at her acomplishment, Leona fell onto Ralf, unconscience.
"Chief! Leona!"
Clark ran to their side.
"Don't worry, Mr Steel. Leona just pulled the poison out of her own body. That ball she has in her hand is her Magatama, the soul of the Orochi. By taking that out with her own hands, Leona was able to save you two from death at her hands, and overcome her own fate at the sametime."

Sonia: And now that ruined Leona's character along with her development. Her natural slashing ablilities were because of her Orochi blood. Thanks, Suethor. Thanks a lot.

Clark looked up at Chizuru through his sunglasses with trembling eyes.
"Is......she going to die?"
"No. The pulling out of the Magatama merely means that she will lose her Orochi powers that she didn't know how to use in the first place.

Sonia: She always knew how to use her Orochi powers! She just couldn't control her Orochi blood at the time! Two different things!
Kyo K.: Wait... so Leona can't use her abilities any more... but Yagami can still use his?!
Keiko: You forgot? Yagami's a Gary Stu in this fic, Kusanagi.
Jessie: It's part of the Hump Buddy Protection Plan. Coverage for yourself and a loved one.

The Orochi soul that slept in her is now out of her, and all that remains is her human heart."
"Thank God..."
Ralf sighed in relief as he brushed the blue bangs from out of the unconscience girl's beautiful face.

Jessie: Wait, there's someone else who's being described as "beautiful"... and it isn't the Sue?
Keiko: I think my house just collapsed. I should call my mother to see if she's okay once we're finished with this chapter.

Chizuru, holding the mirror in her hand sighed in relief.
"Well, I really didn't need ot use this, thank god. But how am I supposed to send this Magatama to Princess Kira?"

Sonia: Put it in your purse... which also has your Yata Mirror for some stupid reason.

As if to answer Chizuru, the mirror flashed with intense light, and a girl streamed out from it. The girl drifted silently to Leona, and softly lifted the sphere out of her bloody hand. She then turned to Chizuru and Clark and smiled. The girl melted into the hot air. Clark shook his head in disbelief.

Jessie: Probably because she melted.

"What the hell was that!? And where did the Magatama go!??"
"Probably to Princess Kira's hands......so she's come back to do her last duty...."
Ralf looked up at Chizuru, as tears welled in her black eyes.
"Chizuru, who was that....?"
"Hinata, my sister..."

Keiko: So the missing stooge has finally showed up... for about two seconds.
Kyo K.: *groans* That's not how this works. That's not how anything works.


"Buo!!"
"Argh!"
Benimaru and Goro slid from the wall they just flew into from the impact of the dragon's blow. Shingo still stood, unable to move, but absorbing the moments with his dreanched body.
".....!.."
The Vasilysk slowly turned its body to Shingo's and narrowed its eyes.
Krurururu.....
It purred in glee to see another healthy toy.

Sonia: He wasn't dipped in bleach for a cleaning, right?

"Let's not do this, Hotaru chan!!"
Benimaru watched the dragon approach Shingo, and like before Shingo not moving from the beast.
"F...FOOL!! GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!"

Keiko: *bored* He 's not going to move.

Gatt!!

Debris showed from the impact of the Vasilysk's nails as it dug into the ground. Shingo held his head in pain as blood seeped from a bruise, but he was still in one piece.

Jessie: Oh, look. The power of stupidity saved his skin.

(Damn!) Shingo screamed in his mind, his eyes almost in tears. (What will Kusanagi san do at a time like this!!? Do I have to fight her, or....) The serpent loomed over him, as he finally realized his danger.

Keiko: *points at Kyo K.* That Kusanagi would. *points to the screen* That Kusanagi has the efficiency of Windows ME, so he'll just stand there and crash like the idiot that he is.
Jayleen: *applauds* Wonderful remark, Tsukino.

 The nails flew at him again, this time, scratchin his left arm.
"AAAArgh!!"
"Shingo!"
Benimaru tried to move, but all he could do was pull himself from the rubble.
"Kuso~~~~!!! (shit)"

Sonia: Well, this fic is sh--
Jessie: Sonia. *chuckles* That's usually what I'd say.
Sonia: Sounds more like something that Kyo LeMaire would say.
Jessie: Him, too.

With his hands dangling by his side, Shingo got to his feet, and clenched his right fist before him.
"Your body's open!"
Shingo attempted an Aragami move to the Vasilysk's barren stomach, but instead was hit by its tail, and was flung to the walls.
"Uwaa!"
As he fell to the ground, Kyo's face appeared in Shingo's mind. (If only I could use flames like Kusanagi san, even I can do some damage...like Kusanagi san.....LIKE KUSANAGI SAN!!)

Jessie: I guess he's going to put his Air Kusanagis on in a second.

"Kono~~~~ (why you)!!!!"
As Shingo thrusted his fist at the dragon, sparks flew around him. He felt his forehead burning with heat, and though he can not see it himself, the kanji "Hikari (light)" blazed from under his torn bandanna. The 'incantation' that Kira gave him so long ago has finally made it possible for the boy to summon the flames of the sun!

All: *facepalms*
Sonia: I knew it.
Keiko: But who called it earlier?
Sonia: Your sister did. She called it the moment the Sue made that incantation in Chapter Five.
Emi: *sighs* It was obvious.

The sudden burst of flames nevertheless intimidated the dragon enough, and the Vasilysk dodged the 'perfected' Aragami by swaying back. But it arched back too far, and slammed its back into the wall and ceiling. From the impact, the ceiling came roaring down on the fighters.
"Holy shit!?"
"Aargh!!!"

Kyo K.: That's how I feel reading this crap. And I haven't riffed my chapter yet!

Rmbleblblbl....

The dust and debris that flew high in the hot dry air finally settled, and Shingo slowly opened his eyes.
".....!!?"
"We're safe!"
"What happened!?"

Jessie: A lot of bullshit happened.

Benimaru and Goro regained their consceince as well, and the three noticed the shadow that was cast on them. They looked above in unison. The Vasilysk stood over them, covered with sand, and bruised all over.
"Hotaru chan....!"
Kurrrrururu...
The dragon exploded into flowing puddles of light, and Hotaru emerged from it. Her thin body was battered all over, like that of the Vasilysk. She fell out of the pool of light, and Shingo ran over to catch her.
"Hotaru!"
Shingo felt the burning pain in his left arm as Hotaru's body fell into it, but it didn't matter to him.

Keiko: This fic's still not ending, and it doesn't matter how much we hate it.
Sonia: It's going to torment us until the end.
Jessie: Unfortunately. Also, what a weird way to end a chapter.
Sonia: Again, suspense is unfortunately not a thing in this fic.

--

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