Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Special Episode 6: Outcast Saga Lost in Sailor Moon World (Part Four)

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Warning: This fic was already laced with misogyny, but it's very blatant in this part... along with small doses of transphobia and homophobia.

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"Text" Talked or thought sentences.

(Text) Talked sentences in a foreign language. As English when everyone else speaks Japanese.

;Text; Title of the scene song.

:Translations of a sentence in a language that isn't English, and small observations during the story:

Chapter three: Time lost

All: Can I get back the time that I lost while riffing this garbage? *looks at each other frantically*
Manic: I'm scared now.

Tokyo September first 2004

Benji arrives in the outers house carrying a sleeping Hotaru on his arm.

Benimaru: Just one arm?
Axl: Why not? He's got the rippling muscles to carry her with one arm!

Behind him Setsuna, Michiru and Haruka are looking tired and weary. Benji also looks tired.

Rory: But he's more tired than they are, because he's a manly man!
Axl: *plays a few notes*

"Three massive attacks in six hours." Haruka mutters collapsing on the large sofa of the living room. Michiru lies next to her. "Is too much for us." Michiru adds nesting herself in Haruka arms.

Kyo K.: Better start investing in some of that Gatorade.

"Well I admit that we aren't having much time to recover." Setsuna says walking up the stairs. Benji swallows a remark.

Kyo L.: *bitterly* Wish you'd swallow your tongue as well.

"Michiru, I think that you should change Hotaru." Benji says to the aquamarine haired senshi.

Sonia: Um...
Miyu: Did he just... compare her... to a baby?
Benimaru: I hope not. I mean, we know that the Stuthor's first language isn't English, but that wording does sound rather... unfortunate.

Not getting a response Benji looks over them. Haruka and Michiru are sleeping deeply. Benji sighs tired. He moves upstairs carefully and slowly to not bother Hotaru.

Manic: And then he tripped. Oops!

He walks to her room and open it with some trouble because the girl on his arms.

Sonia: Well, duh. We know that you're holding her.
Kyo K.: Nah, we're too dumb to figure this stuff out, Sonia. Remember, we're... what did that dumb groupie call those reviewers again?
Kyo L.: "Social retardness morrons".
Kyo K.: I'm not surprised that you remembered.

Thankfully she is very light and he managed to hold her with one arm to open the door. He places the sleeping girl on the bed. He moves to get up but she is holding tight on his shirt. Benji tries to make remove her grip from him. But she is holding on his shirt with an amazing strength for a little girl with such small hands.

Miyu: A little girl-- you aged her up to eighteen, and she's a "little girl". *flustered* Do you know how creepy this is sounding?
Rory: It's creepy enough for me to get a Sonic Screwdriver. *takes a shot*
Everyone else: *does the same*

Noticing that she is stirring Benji gives up. He sighs and unbuttons his shirt.

All: *frantic* What are you doing?!
Manic: I swear, if you take advantage of her like that, I will lose it! I swear, man!

Carefully he slips out of it. He is with a sweat shirt under it and he walks away after covering Hotaru that is now clutching at his shirt holding tightly against her chest.

All: Oh.
Miyu: Okay, crisis averted, thank goodness. But a question... why would she sleep with a dirty, smelly shirt?
Axl: To absorb his pheromones.

Benji leaves her room and closes the door and moves to his own room. He moves to the stairs and sees Michiru and Haruka sleeping uncomfortably on the couch. Benji sighs and pick Michiru on his arms and takes her to her bedroom. He does the same with Haruka. The couple smiles happily on the bed. Benji covers them and leave closing the door. "Now I guess that I can sleep too." A Benji mutter seeing how late in the night is on his watch. Benji lies down and fall on sleep quickly.

Sonia: I hope that you get night terrors.
Kyo L.: *guffaws* Sonia, you're a jerk.
Sonia: What a compliment from Sir Jerk himself.

Sadly his sleep doesn't last long. One hour after he fell in sleep Luna and Artemis enters on the bedroom. Since calling haven't worked with any of the three senshis Artemis leaps to attack Benji with his claws. Reacting Benji sits up and punches the air. Luckily for the moon cat Benji punch connected with the air. But thanks to the motion the cat hits face first Benji closed fist.

Benimaru: *woodenly* "Comedy".
Everyone else: *woodenly* My sides.

The cat cries in pain landing hard on the bed with blood coming out from his nose.

Kyo K.: Uh... it stops being comedy when he's bleeding, you dumbass.
Rory: I think that this is that "edgy" comedy.
Kyo K.: Really? Then let me ready my throwing tomatoes.

"What you two are doing." Benji asks tired and angry. "We need help. The inners are with problems." Luna answers sitting on the bed facing Benji. "The outers are in a trance sleep to recover the lost energy and they can't be wake."

"Whoa! You mean that you want me to go help the inners alone?" Benji asks now very awake. Luna nods.

Miyu: You must have a lot of memory loss. I mean, you are the Gary Stu who did save all nine women from a tentacle monster.
Axl: *plays a few notes on the toy trumpet* Time for Super Penis Man to save the poor defenseless women!
Sonia: *sighs* Again.

"Thanks to your unique condition you are the only one taking out Setsuna who can help them." Artemis says rubbing his nose. "Yes Setsuna told us about that." Benji sighs.

Manic: I don't get this guy. He acts like he's humble while he's rubbing his junk all over the canon! What gives?
Rory: Super Penis Power.

"We won't tell to anyone." Luna reassures Benji. "Damn is too much." Benji mutters getting up.

Benimaru: This is coming from the guy with all of the overpowered weapons... who is whining that he has to do work. Put up or shut up, Gary Stu.
Miyu: *as she adjusts her glasses* I'm hoping for the latter, Mr. Nikaido.
Benimaru: We all are, Miyu.

Luna notices that his energy level is really low even with the combats and the kills that he cause. But she recalls Benji using dozens of magic attacks during the combat.

Axl: His energy is low -- wait, what -- why is he not using the reservoir that is inside of him?!
Kyo L.: You're using logic, Axl? Go to your room!
Axl: Heh. But seriously, this is stupid. Why is he easily forgetting everything that happened only a chapter ago?
Sonia: Because... I don't even know. That short term memory is rather idiotic.

"Go Change!" Benji shouts and transforms. Benji lands as Kaosu. "Let's end it already." Benji says to the two cats.

Rory: Okay. *stabs the Stu with a light spear* The End.
Kyo K.: I wish that would happen.

They nod and follow the tall man. Benji enters on the garage and rides on his Hayabusa. Thanks to a small magic the bike changes a bit losing all the identification marks and plaque. Benji stuffs the cats on a bag and puts on his back. They tell him the address of the fight and Benji speeds off there. In five seconds the cats are praying for them lives when Benji reaches the insane speed of 160km/h. they begin to shout one second later when the speed goes to 180km/h.

Sonia: Remember, he follows the rules of the road.
Kyo K.: Yeah, that's a funny joke.

When Benji changes to the third gear Luna and Artemis are biting Benji's bag in fear because the wind howling around them in 230km/h in one minute Benji arrived on the location. The bike stops smoothly Luna and Artemis leap to the ground and kiss and lick the asphalt content in being alive after the insane race on Tokyo almost empty three AM streets.

Miyu: *unfazed* This speed. I'm swooning. Take me, Kyo.
Kyo L.: After I take some Viagra, because this fic just made me impotent.

Benji sees a large black dome. "They are trapped there. They can't fight or even move. The time is frozen there." Luna explains trying to make her voice firm. "Only Setsuna has power for that. And she can only keep it for few seconds." Benji nods, he knows that bit on information.

Benimaru: Glad that you knew that, because we didn't.

Benji walks to the dome and the cats stay with the bike. Benji touches the dome with his gloved hand. He easily slides his hand inside as if the barrier was made out of water. Behind his dark blue visor of the mask Benji closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He opens his eyes and enters on the dome. He instantly feels a heavy weight on his back.

Axl: Amy's Piko Piko Hammer? Please let it be her beating the crap out of him with her hammer.

Just like the one that he felt when training with Setsuna. She created a time stop zone and Benji felt the effects on his body even thought he could move and walk in there he still felt the weight of the frozen time, the gross thick, liquid feeling atmosphere around him.

Manic: Is that another meaning for his--
Sonia: Manic!

He can't feel the usual feeling of the sword energy drain filling his energy reservoir. He knows very well that a freezing time zone is an energetic dead zone. The energy is also trapped frozen with the time. He also knows that his energy leakage is flowing much faster. As if air dragged to a vacuum. He runs searching for the inners senshis and whatever is causing this time barrier. Benji recalls of Setsuna words while they waited for Masamune finishing the sword. "There are creatures that are immutable by the time. There are creatures that are immune against time. And there are creatures that are passing by the time with out being affected." Benji can hear Setsuna words as well as he did when she first explained it to him. "Because you condition you are not immune at time related attacks like my time stop. But your resistance to them is so high that is just a little bellow the immunity." Benji nods. "And you are immutable by the time and immune against it." Benji said. Setsuna nods sadly. "But there are demons and evil creatures that also have those abilities." She adds.

Rory: What happened? I zoned out there. Was I supposed to care?
Kyo L.: Nope. It won't matter, because he'll bypass all of that crap.

Benji stays sharp on the dead silence of the dome. Whatever cause the time to stop for sure had time resistant creatures around. Having trained on a time gate time freeze zone Benji leaps back avoiding an attack. Few instants after the attack the sound of racing steps reaches him. Benji knows that is a side effect of a large time freezing zone. Sound travels slower than the normal in the freezing still air.

Kyo K.: Riffing this stupid fic basically froze the time around us.

Benji draws his sword and slashes down a demon that is dressed like a ninja. He moves to the two others that are still there and kills them. He runs from that place before the corpses exploded in jets of blood cutted in large pieces. The energy of them is transferred to Benji. "Damn. Two boxes only." He curses seeing the energy level. He knows that he only gains one fifth of the energy that he would normally gain. Benji avoids the cars, people and objects on his way.

Sonia: *yawns loudly* Great. More "edgy" nonsense. Next.

The senshis are most likely to be on the ground zero of the zone. But Benji doesn't know where the zone ends or begins or even where the center is.

Axl: And then he got lost in a black hole which ripped him to bits. Fic's done, can we go now?
Benimaru: If only.

Benji is making sure of keeping a straight line from his entrance point knowing that sooner or later he would or reach the center and found the inners or leave the dome.

Manic: Oh, to hell with this. *fast forwards the fic* Just get to the part where he finds the Inners.

Benji takes care of many more demon ninjas on his search. Slowly his energy is reaching the bottom no mater how many enemies he kills. But he founds the senshis. They are all froze in the battle poses. Benji can even see Makoto's Jupiter thunder on her hands. Benji stabs the lightning ball. He feels he energy being transferred for him filling five slots of his energy bar. Not enough to major attacks but better than two.

Miyu: Well, he found them. Now what?
Manic: Do we have more pointless crap with him being the greatest Stu that ever Stued?
Miyu: Looks like it.
Manic: *fast forwards again*

Benji follows the poses of the senshis and sees a darker dome as the target of the senshis attacks. Benji's touch can't pass it. It is solid not like the dome where he is. Benji unsheathes his sword and holds it with both hands and slams the tip on the dome. Benji repeats the motion. He sees a crack appear on the dome and keeps pounding it.

Rory: This fic makes me want to do crack, actually.

The visor in Benji's mask is showing much information over the dome. About the hardness of the dark material to the estimated number of attacks until it breaks. Not as precise as Ami visor and computer. But still enough to him, since the main function is to protect his eyes from the wind when racing on the streets. Detecting a power burst the visor alerts Benji who reacts quickly leaping back holding the sword inverted in a half defense, half attack posture.

All: *ignoring the fic* Uh-huh.

A tall demon with an old looking clock imbedded on his chest breaks the dome. The creature is a mix of a grandpa clock with a gargoyle, but with out the wings. The creature lets out a mechanical sounding roar and attacks Benji.

Benji dashes in a blur of speed leaving blurred images of himself behind him. The demon attacks one of the images. Benji uses that moment and gives many slashes on the demon that screams in pain with its mechanical voice. On his visor in a corner a small bar fills. Benji knows that to win he needs to keep the chain attacks until the energy of his reservoir was prepared to an attack.

Benji doesn't give a chance for the demon counter packing slash after slash. Packing an extra strong slash Benji makes the demon hit a light post. Seeing the bar filled signaling that the energy was ready for manipulation Benji sheathes the sword and draws a circle on the air with his hands and outstretched arms.

"Akai Arashi!" Benji shouts when finishing the circle and clapping his hands together closing all his fingers taking out both index fingers and middle fingers. A large fire dome erupts around him and a Japanese dragon made of fire hits the demon. The spell kills the demon. Benji falls on his knees totally drained.

Kyo L.: Oh, look. He saved the day. Again. Congrats, Super Penis Man. God, this fic is... ugh.
Kyo K.: It's boring and painful right now. I'm just waiting for the very fun infuriating part.

The time returns to its normal flow. Makoto screams and tosses a Jupiter thunder only to see that the energy no longer exists. "What happened?" Minako asks not seeing the demon around. She notices Benji after asking that. The other senshis moves to him. "What happened and how you got here?" Serena asks confused.

Axl: *plays a few notes*
Benimaru: Yeah... that power.

"It is kind of a long story." Benji replies tired.

Rory: Long and stupid, actually.

Luna and Artemis run to them and each leap over the respective senshi. While they move to Benji's bike the cats explain what happened. They enter in an alley and change back to the normal. Even Benji who is only wearing a sweat shirt, jeans trousers and a pair of sneakers. The girls blush at his almost nude chest.

Sonia: *angry, flips the table* Oh, shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up! I'm sick and tired of everyone fawning over this two-bit fedora with legs!
Kyo K.: *puzzled* "Two-bit fedora with legs"? Um. *chuckles* Work on your insults a bit, Sonia.
Miyu: *sighs as she mops up a wank puddle and sets the table upright* And what was that about "no fanservice for the girls", Stu? Because I see that so-called fanservice right there.
Manic: *as the Stu* Don't give me any attention... while I'm walking around with my glistening muscles and stuff! I can't help that I'm attractive!
Axl: This stupid Gary Stu logic, I swear...

"So you two woke him up, he came here and fought the demon that froze us?" Serena asks resuming the story. "Yes." The lunar cats reply. Benji is buying a can of soda in a vending machine. "You should have listened to me when I said that was wise call the outers." Ami says to Serena lightly scolding her friend. Serena nods. Benji drinks slowly.

Kyo L.: I hope that the drink's poisoned. Also, way to crap on Usagi again, Stuthor. She's not as dumb as you think she is.
Miyu: Also, she would've tried to call the Outer Senshi, anyway. She was always the first person who would make an attempt to gain allies.
Rory: Yeah, this fic is totally not making her incompetent so the Stu can be a better leader than she is.

"You aren't looking too hot." Makoto says to the tired man. "I am exhausted. I was tired after our previous fight. And I just drained myself now." Benji replies.

All: *indifferent*
Sonia: Our collective sympathy with you is nil, Gary Stu.

"Fighting on a frozen time zone is really hard."

Manic: Hey, just like his penis powers!
Axl: *cracks up*

Ami shyly holds his right wrist and looks on his watch energy gauge. "Here says that you are with out a single drop of energy." Ami says. Benji nods. "The Akai Arashi drained the last seven bars that I had. That after stealing energy from Makoto's Jupiter thunder." Benji replies tossing the empty can on a trash bin.

Miyu: Then he has no energy. He should be out like a light. This makes zero sense.
Benimaru: This whole dumb fic makes zero sense, actually.

"That explains why it was gone." Makoto mutters. "Want to crash on my place?" Makoto asks. "You look really tired and I think that is not good for you go out driving that bike like this." Benji thinks on the offer.

Kyo K.: Wait. He's thinking with his head, right? The one that's on his shoulders, I mean.
Everyone else: Nope!

"I would like it. But I can't." Benji replies. Makoto tries hard not to show her disappointment. "I haven't told anyone that I left and they can get worried." Makoto nods understanding. They part and Benji drives backs to the household. He manages to drag himself to the bed before collapsing.

Miyu: Again... no energy. And he managed to get back on a high speed bike without crashing. What?
Rory: He was riding at five miles an hour!

Michiru as usual is the first to wake. She wonders how she woke on her bed when she fell on sleep on the living room couch.

Manic: You teleported. Just leave it at that.

Wondering that she passes by Benji's room, the door is open and he is lying face down on the pillow. She closes the door so no one else will see Benji only with that small shirt.

Kyo L.: Aww, look at how fedorable he is! *mutters* Makes me want to vomit.

She begins to make breakfast to everyone. She calls everyone. But Benji doesn't wake.

Benimaru: What, is he dead?
Sonia: I wish.

She is about to call him on the room when someone knocks on the door. Michiru answers it. Is Ami, Makoto and Luna. After a quick greeting the senshi let the others enter. "Want some breakfast?" Michiru asks. "No thank you." Ami and Makoto replies. "Actually we came here to tell you girls to let Benji rest as much as he wants today." Luna says.

Axl: What's next, they wear bikinis and feed him grapes?
Kyo L.: It's only good if Miyu wants to do that for me.
Miyu: *lightly elbows Kyo L.* Not out loud, Kyo...

Michiru frown a bit. She really doesn't like the idea of someone not eating her food when she made for the person.

Manic: There's a magical thing that's called "leftovers"! They won't kill you!

"Why that?" Michiru asks. Luna explains to the outers the night events after they all went to sleep. They hear in silence. Everyone knew that Benji was the most physical fighter of them.

Kyo K.: Because he's a man. And by the way, who is the most physical Senshi?
Miyu: Sailor Jupiter.
Kyo K.: Huh. Also... we did recruit Miyuki. She knows a thing or two about being physical, Stu... especially since you rely on your weapons and not your physical strength.

He actually needs to fight hard to pack any mystical attacks. And usually he gets as tired as them after the fights even having a much larger stamina.

Rory: Okay, so he's a better fighter, and he has better stamina... and he's a better leader. Yeah, um... does this doofus really need to show his "superior power" over nine women? Like... really?
Manic: Really.
Rory: *stamps his paper* Then I'll really do this. Crap message to send to the kids, Stuthor. Seriously.

"You mean that he used the last bit of energy that he had. Not only the one that he steals but his physical energy to help everyone?" Haruka asks trying to understand. The senshis nod. "I saw his gauge level. It was unlithe. All the slots were empty. He was out of energy and he was looking very tired." Ami says to them. Michiru runs her right hand over her hair. "I guess that we can give him that rest." Michiru says. The others nod. The inners leave the house.

Sonia: *sarcastically* You better hope that there's not another demon, because Mr. Fedora won't be able to save your weak, feminine selves.

"And I am also guessing that was Benji who took us to the bed Ruka." Michiru says to her lover. Haruka nods also coming to that idea. "We thank him later. If we slept as we was on the couch we would catch a cold and for sure wake feeling sore." Michiru adds. Haruka nods not wanting to angry her lover.

Kyo L.: *sarcastically* Yes, yes, Mr. Penis is always right. Remember that, you female.
Kyo K.: I always like my sexism as a side dish with my main course of crap.

Way past noon Benji wakes and after dealing with his nature calls he walks to the kitchen in hope to eat something. That if Haruka haven't chugged down his share of food as she did on the past when he was late for the meals. Mostly because he was doing a chore for Hotaru, Setsuna or Michiru.

Benimaru: I guess that saving food wasn't an option. But what do I know? That's logic!

He founds odd seeing the four girls on the kitchen. "What is wrong?" Benji asks uncomfortable with the stares of them.

Manic: Well, number one... you're existing.
Axl: And number two... this stupid fic is still going!

He is dressed, is long past his morning wood time,

All: *with various disgusted looks and groans*
Miyu: We did not need to know about that!
Rory: Yes, we did! Because he's Super Penis Man!
Axl: I'm not playing the trumpet for that. Uh-uh.

he was looking fine on the mirror. He can't found a reason for them being staring.

Sonia: You mean that they can look at you without being incredibly horny? Sounds a lot like... reality! Which you need to get back into, you scene stealer!

"What happened to you?" Haruka spurts recovering first.

"What you mean what happened to me?" Benji asks. "You look younger." Michiru replies to him. The trio nods. Michiru summons her Deep Aqua mirror and walks closer of him and shows him his reflection. Benji gasps surprised. He hasn't rejuvenated much. But was enough to shock him.

Benimaru: *as he adjusts his hair with his electric powers* Don't look at me. I didn't shock him.
Kyo K.: Yet. You know you want to do that, Beni.
Benimaru: Yes, but... not yet.

"I am looking like I was when I was eighteen years old." Benji says. He looks down to his body now noticing the small changes on his build. Due the constant work, stress and fights during his boarding school Benji got slim, faster and with a compact power build. "But how?" Benji asks to them.

Rory: Because you're a Stu. Duh!
Miyu: No, wait... time. Time demon. He fought one of those. But that makes no sense, either. Sailor Moon and Mercury battled a youma that was based around time, and everything went back to normal once she was defeated.
Manic: So it's just another case of the Stu getting more things to benefit his overpowered butt?
Miyu: *pushes glasses up* In layman's terms... yes.

Hotaru, Michiru and Haruka shake them heads not knowing an answer. "You fought a time demon yesterday haven't you?" Setsuna asks. Benji nods confirming. Benji stomach growls causing him to blush. Michiru serves him a large meal consisting of his shares of the breakfast and lunch.

Sonia: I love how he thinks that his stomach growling is the rudest thing... when he's said and done much worse.
Manic: Especially since we had a part dedicated to his "morning wood".

Benji explains to them the fight. "You charged up the mixing bar against a time demon!" Setsuna asks and Benji nods confirming. "A time demon energy have odd effects when people are exposed to it as you was."

Kyo L.: Suddenly, plot! Which we didn't know or care about before this.

Benji swallow a mouthful of food. "You mean that the demon energy made me lost two years?" Benji asks. Setsuna nods. "And is permanent. You will grow old again those years. Well think on this way you gained two more years." Setsuna says to him. Benji isn't exactly content with it.

Kyo K.: Neither are we.
Miyu: Ah, just as I thought. He's gained more time to usurp the canon. *flatly* What wonderful news.

"Later we go to the Hikawa-jinja and talk with Rei. I have a feeling that your energy will begin to wake." Setsuna adds. Benji nods. Hotaru looks at the older man who now looks as old as she is and blushes lightly recalling that she slept and woke clutching at his shirt.

Rory: How did she recall this stuff while she was sleeping?
Benimaru: Because we needed more shilling.

After the meal they move to the shrine where as usual the inners are hanging there after the classes. As the outers they are shocked with Benji lost of age. What didn't stop Minako and Makoto of drooling over him.

All: Oh, god! Shut up!
Manic: Seriously, this is annoying! We're sick and tired of seeing Minako and Makoto drooling over this waste of skin every time they're within eyesight of this idiotic twit! Cut it out!
Sonia: *sighs as she mops up a wank puddle* Manic... I can't remember the last time that you've lost your composure.
Manic: Me neither. Damn, I hate this fic!
Kyo K.: *stamps Manic's sheet* Thank me later, Pineapple.

Rei does checks him from head to toe and said. "You are right Setsuna. Is still faint but his energy is there. His body needs time to adjust to it and unseal it by its own powers."

Axl: Why not do it now, considering that he's so super special?
Kyo L.: Tch. Why bother, Ax? We just need to draw it out so he can look "flawed".

Ami is scanning him for any corporal damages or anything in those lines. She founds nothing.

Rory: And his brain?
Kyo K.: Nothing there, either.

In order to help Benji with his energy wakening Rei drags him to the fire reading room where she teaches him few meditations exercises. But the now teen never was good on meditating, at least on the Zen way of doing. Resuming the inners and the outers had to hold back the two brunettes from killing the other after five minutes of attempts.

Kyo L.: "Comedy".
Sonia: Oh, the hilarity.

Rei is literally blowing fire while Benji is firing lightning bolts from his eyes towards her. Makoto has to help the outers because Benji was strong for only they handle by themselves. They are preventing Benji from sucking Rei dry and the priestess of cursing Benji to his death.

Rory: I'm lost. What's going on?
Miyu: Beats me. Probably something that's supposed to be "edgy" again.

"I didn't knew that the hot head had a brother." A male voice says. "We are not kin!" Benji and Rei shout as one.

Sonia: Good. Because who would want to be related to SPM, anyway?

And as all the others they look at the speakers. Benji recognize the trio of slim, almost anorexic looking young men.

Benimaru: Um... that's... a very bad word choice, Stuthor.

"Is the Star lights!" all the inners shouts letting Rei loose. She tries to attack Benji who managed to slip out the outers grip. Forgetting the fight the outers turn to the trio. Behind the outers a cloud of dust rises as Benji and Rei fight. "What you are doing here?" Haruka spats. "Well the princess wanted to come here so we arrived few days before her to arrange things up for her." Seiya replies.

The cloud of smoke clears and Benji is dusting his hands. Under his right foot is Rei's back, she is tied with her arms behind her back with her ankles and wrist tied together with Benji's belt. She is also gagged with a handkerchief. "Segura peão…" Benji mutters in Portuguese.

All: *speechless*
Benimaru: *facepalms, heavily sighs*
Rory: Um... is this a fetish fic?
Sonia: Might as well be with this gross garbage.
Axl: Someone translate that. Wish one of us knew Portuguese...
Miyu: It's nothing too serious, but it loosely translates to "safe pedestrian"...? I think? *taps her translator* I think that Cousin Tails may need to have a look at this.
Kyo K.: Hey, um, Stuthor. You didn't think about what you wrote, huh?
Kyo L.: I'm surprised that she hasn't lit his horny ass up with a Fire Soul yet.
Kyo K.: Ah, you know the rule, Fox Clone; Gary Stus can't do any wrong, and women need to stay in their place... which is under a man's foot. *throws his hands up* Okay, you know what? This stupid sexist fic sucks.

Rei squirms trying to break free from her bindings. Benji walks to the outers. "Now I feel better." He mutters in Japanese.

Benimaru: *as his hair slowly begins to stand on end* I'll feel better once I turn you into a human lightning rod, Stu.
Kyo K.: *looks at Benimaru* Uh-oh. Fic's gone and pissed him off.

The star lights look at him. "Who is the new guy bonbon?" Seiya asks to Serena. "He is Himura Benji. A friend of Setsuna. He is also Kaosu a ninja like warrior that is aiding us against a new enemy." Serena happily babbles it. "Can I smack her on the head just once to see if she gets smarter?" Benji asks to the senshis of the Solar system.

Kyo L.: *coldly* How about I just decapitate you, you piece of shit?
Miyu: I would normally chide you for this, Kyo... but considering that I would like to throw him into a wood chipper, I will let it slide.
Manic: Wait, so she's trying to introduce this dumb ass to the Starlights, and his response... is to smack her. Wow. You're a real piece of garbage, Stu.

Benji sees that they are considering saying yes. "Better not risk it. She might get worse." Setsuna replies.

Axl: *laughs* It's funny because she's so stupid! *stops laughing* You all can go to Hell.

"Nice to meet you." Seiya says standing a hand to Benji. Benji takes it and shakes it firmly. And he notices that Seiya is trying to make him flinch by squeezing his hand too hard. Benji shows him that his girly arms aren't strong enough for that.

Miyu: Way to warp Seiya out of character so you can try to look better, Stu. It's not working.
Benimaru: *in a low voice* Try calling me "girly", Stu. I guarantee that you'll be leaving... in an ambulance.
Kyo K.: Hey, uh... hey, Stu. Know what you're coming off as? A bully. Want to know what I do to bullies? *ignites a flame* I light their asses up into next week.
Sonia: I hate this fic. I hate this Stu, I hate this Stuthor, I hate this fic. I hate everything in this fic.
Rory: *chugs a few Sonic Screwdrivers* Maybe this can erase the sexism? Maybe? Please? Can I forget that this awful fic exists?
Manic: I would like to. I'm this close to switching, actually.
Sonia: At this rate, I don't blame you for wanting to do that.

Seiya hides a gasp of surprise when feeling Benji firm grip grows stronger. He tries squeezing harder, but the Brazilian doesn't seem to know pain.

Miyu: Or empathy, for that matter.
Axl: I'd play a few notes, but I'd feel a lot more comfortable ramming this toy trumpet up his ass.
Kyo L.: Do it, Axl.

Benji returns the squeeze even harder and keeps squeezing the singer hand. Haruka smiles at the scene seeing the painful look on Seiya eyes. Every senshi there hears Seiya's bones popping under the pressure.

All: *gets up*
Sonia: Condoning physical harm on a character because they dared to criticize him... I quit. No... we quit. Stuthor... we're done. We're done with this self-serving garbage wankfest that you call a "fanfic". You can have the pleasure of kissing all eight of our collective asses.
Kyo K.: He can kiss 'em twice. Besides, I was getting tired of hearing him jerk off with one hand while he was typing with the other. Let's get out of here.
Miyu: I have a headache.
Manic: *as he pauses the fic* We all do.
All: *leaves*
*After a few minutes, Sonic picks up the remote...*
Sonic: So, Tails.
Tails: What's up, Sonic?
Sonic: How do you feel about this fic?
Tails: It's awful.
Sonic: Guess so... considering that everyone left. There's a fic that's so bad that it made eight riffers give up? Haven't dealt with that stuff since "Ultimate".
Amy: Don't remind me about that terrible fic. So, are we ready?
Akiko: I guess so.
Cassy, Emi, Keiko, Mai: No.
Amy: Too bad, we have to pick up where they left off, unfortunately. Especially since they abandoned us.
Sonic: Unfortunately. *resumes the fic*

"Enough! I give up!" Seiya says when the pressure and pain became unbearable.

Cassy: Yeah, that's exactly why they left. Stupid fic caused them unbearable pain.
Amy: A fic that broke not only Manic, but Mr. Nikaido and Rory as well? What a feat!

Benji let him go. "Be happy that you are not a guitar player." Benji says.

Mai: I'll be happy when this dumb fic ends. I'm only two sentences into this garbage, and I can already see why my brother hates this.

Seiya white hand is red with the mark of Benji's hand and fingers. He nurses his hand. "You did well." Yaten says shaking Benji's hand firmly but not as Seiya. "Good job." Taiki says shaking Benji hand after Yaten.

"You two are supposed to be on my side!" Seiya shouts at his brothers/sisters.

Keiko: And here comes the victim blaming...

"You were stupid enough to get on that challenge. He hasn't done anything towards you." Yaten replies acidly.

Emi: He exists. He's done plenty to harm us just by existing.
Sonic: *sighs* Of course it's never the Stu's fault for breaking someone's hand!
Amy: Vomit is more likeable than this Stu.
Tails: *as he's browsing on his Miles Elecrtic* Well, this fic is vomit, so... I guess that's a reasonable comparison.

"So what exactly she meant by a ninja like warrior?" Taiki asks. "Well my outfit unlike the ones that you use has a mask only with a slit for the eyes. And since mostly of it is black and I use a sword on my back." Benji answers. "Well I also trained ninjitsu."

Akiko: I was trained in the art of yawning. Let me demonstrate!

Taiki nods understanding. The inners scold Benji who just ignore them. After all he is helping them but he is not related to the Silver millennium or the ranks of them. So he can plain ignore them with out any trouble.

Cassy: Dude? Go fuck yourself. Seriously.
Sonic: Oh, great. We're using the old "I can do no wrong because I'm the protagonist!" card. Nobody with a working brain likes that card for a reason, Stuthor. Discard it, pronto.
Emi: It's even worse. It's more like the "I can get a free pass because I'm not a part of the canon, even though I'm ruining said canon!" card. And it needs to be annihilated.
Keiko: *as she unsheathes her katana* So you can ignore them... but can you ignore a blade going through your neck, Stu?
Amy: *as she readies her Piko Piko Hammer* Or a hammer smashing your skull in?
Mai: *as she unfolds her war fan* Or a blade shredding your chest?
Tails: Well, we'd normally scold you three for wishing him harm, but... the Gary Stu is a bully, so fair is fair.

Ami and Makoto set Rei free. The priestess is enraged but leaves the revenge for later. When getting him on surprise since a direct attack is futile.

Mai: Wait, you want him to suffer karma? That doesn't exist in horrible fics like these.

After an explanation over the Princess decision of taking a vacation on Earth everyone leaves. Benji is relieved in getting distance between himself and Seiya.

Cassy: Can we distance ourselves from this piece of crap like the rest of those guys did?
Tails: Pipe dream, Cassy. I have never seen those eight run out of there so fast. They probably had speed that rivaled Sonic's!

For some reason he always disliked that Sailor Star.

Akiko: Didn't you just meet him like... four or five minutes ago? How can you hate him if you just met him?
Emi: Character bashing card. So... basically... this Stuthor hates Sailor Star Fighter and wrote a part of a fic dedicated to beating her up. Do you know how pathetic that is?
Cassy: Pathetic enough for me to drink a bottle of Listerine, dude.
Amy: The original yellow one?
Cassy: Yes. It's the color of piss, just like this fic.

Since the outers and Benji got there by Michiru's SUV they return on the same way. Haruka is gladly chatting over Benji's death grip on Seiya hand wishing that was on his neck instead.

Sonic: *facepalms, shakes his head* I need a drink.
Akiko: *puzzled* Are you serious?
Amy: Oh, my god, what the hell is wrong with these people?!
Emi: *sighs as she mops up a wank puddle* Everything, Amy. Also, Haruka was a bit distrustful of the Starlights, but she never went to thoughts of murdering Seiya. So... thanks for using the Senshi as your mouthpieces, Stuthor.

But Benji isn't sure of how the things will run. He knows that when a new group of warriors arrive in an anime during a fight or not it means loads of problems. He didn't know back then how right he was.

Mai: Of course he's always right. Of course he is.
Keiko: *heavily sighs* I already dislike this waste of Internet space that calls itself a "story".

Tokyo September fourth 2004

Sailor Moon let out a shriek inside the large room where all the senshis and Benji are trapped. Not seeing her stopping anytime soon Benji covers her mouth with his gloved hand. "Panicking won't help." Benji says to the others sailors. Including the stars. His sword isn't with him. As Pluto isn't with her staff and Saturn is not with her glaive. All the magic items where lost during a massive combat. Thanks to Sailor Moon.

Tails: Oh, look. Sailor Moon is incompetent. Again.
Emi: Are you sure that you set this fic after Sailor Stars, Stuthor? Because Sailor Moon's leadership skills were only questioned in the anime's first season. I'm just convinced that you made her terrible so you could hog the spotlight... and I am not impressed by it.
Akiko: Well, none of us are, actually.

"I think that you can let her go now." Sailor fighter also knows as Seiya says to Kaosu also know as Benji. The ninja let Sailor Moon go and she continues to wail loudly. Benji covers her mouth again. "Can any of you girls borrow me a ribbon or something to make sure that she doesn't drive us insane with her cries?" Benji asks to the others Solar system senshis.

Cassy: You're driving us insane with your existence. Please die in a fire that was started by both Kyos.

Rei or Sailor Mars gladly hands to him her back ribbon and Benji gags Sailor Moon and ties her hands on her back.

Sonic: *covers Tails's eyes* Looks like you shouldn't be seeing this, buddy.
Tails: I never wanted to see this nonsense, anyway.
Keiko: Stu... do you really have a fetish for gagging women? I'm just wondering.
Mai: Maybe he should try to do this to us. I guarantee that he wouldn't be able to gag a single lady in this room.
Akiko: Definitely.

"Now that we can discuss things with out our supposed to be fearless leader wails should we continue to come up with a way of getting out of here?" Rei says when Benji finished up. The others nod. Sailor Moon sobs in silence and Seiya is comforting her.

Amy: *sarcastically* Our hero. This fic is disgusting.
Sonic: *as he removes his hand from Tails's eyes* You're telling me, Ames. At this rate... I'm already convinced that this Stuthor hates Sailor Moon.

"The walls are made from solid concrete. The door is made of steel and heavily armored. And this cursed room is blocking us from using out energy." Mars says. "Unless Kaosu have some dynamite up his jacket we are stuck."

Akiko: I know a guy! He'd actually blow the Stu up, though.
Cassy: And that's a problem?
Akiko: I never said that it would be one, Cass.

"You have dynamite on you Kaosu!" Minako and Makoto ask in a silly and childish way. They can see the shocked expression on his eyes because the ceramic mask broke during the combat and he is only with a cloth mask covering his lower face. "I don't have. And if I had wouldn't do any good unless we used properly." Benji replies. Ami nods agreeing.

Tails: You're trying to be rational... in a magical girl series... that you're wrecking to pieces with your blatant nonsense. Pardon?

"We need to think rationally if we want to get out of here. We have about one hour before the youmas unblock the tunnel. Three more until they manage to enter here. So that leaves us four hours to escape." Ami says.

Sonic: Can't they just sit around... play some Uno... and let the demons finish them off so this fic can end?

"Let's look around this room to see if we found anything useful." Benji says. "This might sound embarrassing. But if you girls need to go warn me first and do on a corner. The first is so I can move far from you. And the second is to not dirt up the entire room." And as he says all the senshis blush deeply.

All: *confused* Huh?
Amy: I think he said... go in a corner? And why are the Senshi blushing?
Mai: Who knows... and who cares?

Even Haruka and the sailor stars. "Before any comment over him." Setsuna cuts before any of them can say anything. "He is being a gentleman and also is thinking over our minimal comfort while trapped here. I agree that is embarrassing but it should be explained before we can't actually hold it anymore." She says.

Cassy: *tips her fedora that is on the table* Aww, you are just fedorable!
Keiko: *rolls her eyes* Let's call the women "girls". Let's have all of this sexist garbage happen in this fic. But he's a gentleman. Ever heard of "Show, Don't Tell", Stuthor? You're telling us that he's the perfect man, but you're unfortunately showing us the perfect candidate for a live volcano sacrifice.
Akiko: He wouldn't last long if he spent a day at my place. Tomo-chan wouldn't like him.
Emi: None of us like him, and you know that you don't even like him, Akiko. No wonder Master Kyo fled from this thing.

The others nod understanding after the initial shock. And they begin to look around the room. It is filled with shelves and boxes. The senshis and Kaosu look around. Half hour later they. They place some tools on the floor. Haruka appeared with a can of gasoline. Benji took a bit longer but he came with a motorized circular saw. They could see a smile forming on his lips when he saw the gas.

Amy: A circular saw? In a Sailor Moon fic? Is this guy trying to be "manly" again?
Tails: Yes, he is.
Mai: Gasoline? Did he hang around Kyo?
Sonic: LeMaire?
Mai: Yes.
Sonic: No, he couldn't have. The Stu isn't a charred skeleton.

Benji puts the gas on the power tool fuel tank and pulls the cord strongly starting the tool. Haruka recognized the tool as a metal cutting one. She saw it some times on the garage where she takes her bikes and cars to repairs and customizations. Benji moves to a wall near of the door and begins to cut it. Sparks flow and the noise is too loud. But the senshis felt a wave of hope with that. If the door fell they will be free.

After one hour Benji is only with his pants, the mask, a pair of protection goggles, gloves and a protection head set.

Emi: But he didn't protect a vital portion of his body. The saw blade dislocated itself and was embedded into his chest.
Tails: Um... wow, Emi.

There is a one meter long line on the wall going very deep on it. Benji is covered with gray soot, smoke residues and sweat. Ten meters from him the senshis look at him. Some with more interest than others.

Everyone except Sonic and Akiko: *glares at the screen*
Cassy: *grumbles as she mops up a wank puddle*
Sonic: Wait, what?
Tails: Sonic... this fic constantly tells us that the Stu is incredibly "sexy".
Akiko: *with a confused look* Huh. Must be Opposite Day over there.

When Benji lets out a large string of curses they knew that the blade broke for the second time.

Keiko: Does that mean that he'll die soon? If so... good riddance.
Amy: It's a Stu fic. It's unfortunately not going to happen.

Benji turns off the saw and Haruka and Makoto help him to trade for a new one. "How many more?" Benji asks rather loudly. "Four." Makoto replies showing him four fingers.

Cassy: And here's a fifth and sixth finger! *flips the screen off*

Benji nods as they continue to trade blades. "Rest a bit. I will continue." Makoto adds. Benji nods and hands to her the saw, goggles and headset. Makoto starts the saw and continues from where Benji stopped. "God! This is hard! How he did for one full hour!"

Mai: *sarcastically* Because he's a man, you weak woman.
Emi: This saddens me. She's the physically strongest Senshi. Of course that strength was sapped so the Stu can look better in exchange.

Makoto thinks feeling the torque of the tool and the vibrations all over her body. "This kind of feels good in an odd way." She thinks while Benji ties her back ribbon over her mouth and nose. Makoto understand since she no longer is breathing the dust.

Akiko: Oh, look. There's something almost reasonable for once.
Emi: Too bad that it's marred with Makoto being constantly horny.
Sonic: This would make Jessie shake her head.

Benji sits by the senshis. "Are you okay?" Hotaru asks worried. "I am fine. Thirst as hell but fine." Benji answers. They all know that they don't have a single drop of water there. And they are all a bit thirsty. But by working hard and hot on cutting the wall Benji was even thirstier than any of them.

Tails: We got it, fic. He does everything better than them... including dying of thirst? Really? Really?
Mai: This is why Miyu hates Gary Stus in Sailor Moon.

Benji grabs his clothes inner shirt and cleans himself as well as he can. Still when he stops he is still covered by a thin layer of soot and smoke residues. He tosses the shirt away knowing that when he changes back it will disappear and when he summons it again it will be clean as a new one. Passed half hour everyone noticed the increasing heat. Serena that was freed begins to wail over the heat.

Emi: She wouldn't wail. She would find a way to get out as well. She's not as useless as you think she is, Stuthor.
Keiko: Please. This guy doesn't care about logic, big sister.

Benji notices that their breaths are becoming shallower. He knows why and by the look on Ami eyes so does she.

Cassy: And then they suffocated, fic's over. Can we go now?
Akiko: *as she gets a pint of ice cream* If only.
Sonic: You can if you want, since you're a backup. Who'd you trade places with, Cassy?
Cassy: Rory.
Sonic: Oh. Uh... good luck finding him. He probably hightailed it outta here on his board.

Benji stops Makoto and grabs the power tool. He removes the disk and places two on there. Then he begins to cut the wall with fury using the max speed of the power tool. Makoto and Haruka begin to protest but Ami told them to calm down. She noticed that Benji also realized what was wrong.

Mai: What's wrong? Everything in this fic is wrong!
Tails: Know what's also wrong? We don't even know the details about how they got into this situation in the first place!
Amy: Who cares, Tails! It's just another excuse for the Gary Stu to save the day! *grumbles* I hate this fic.

The air is running thin. The oxygen levels are lowering. And if the door don't goes down soon they will suffocate there.

Akiko: Yeah, yeah, we know that they aren't going to die. Can we get on with it?

Knowing that there is no time for being careful Benji can't cut all around the door so he just looses the part around the hinges and cut it. He turns off the saw and hangs it over his shoulder.

Sonic: And then the saw turned back on and hacked his shoulder off. Karma is a doozy!

He calls Haruka and Makoto to help him kicking the door down.

Amy: Wait, you needed help? I thought that you were the manliest man who ever was a man!
Cassy: Oh, Fedora Man. My sweet, easily hated Fedora Man.

After ten combined kicks from the trio the weakened wall gives up and the door falls. The gust of air enters on the room and everyone takes a deep breath with out knowing. They run out from it and get they weapons. Still Benji carries the power tool too. His jacket is also dirty.

Emi: Nobody cares about the jacket.

All the senshis are also covered with soot in a lesser way. They run trying to get to the youmas before they notice that they escaped. So they can use the surprise factor.

Tails: Funny, that's what the other group did to us. They just escaped and we didn't know it.
Sonic: That's the worst surprise for us, huh?
Tails: No kidding.

Everyone is tired, thirsty and hungry. Benji who is ahead of the twelve senshis group is the first to see the demons busy moving debris from a path, too dumb to actually try another way.

Keiko: Oh, look. The demon is conveniently too stupid so the Stu can shine. What fun.
Emi: Wait, twelve senshi? Oh, oh, right... I forgot to count the Sailor Starlights. Silly me!

With a strong blow Benji chops off the head of one demon with the saw stopped. Them he pulls the cord turning the power tool on. The massive tool sprays blood all over the place on each slash. Messy but effective.

Cassy: And stupid! This is a magical girl series! We were fine without you rubbing your "edgy" junk all over it, Stuthor!
Keiko: Coming from the cat who likes blood, that's saying a lot, isn't it?
Cassy: At least I have boundaries, unlike this doofus!

The senshis with talismans use them. Soon the hallway is empty. Taking out the senshis. They leave the hall armed. Benji turned off the saw. "Why you keep walking with that stuff?" Seiya asks disapproving.

Akiko: I'd disapprove, too. But knowing this fic, I'm somehow "wrong".

"Have you ever played with a game called Doom or other one called Quake?" Benji asks to the sex changing senshi.

Sonic: Those two games? They don't mix with Sailor Moon! Take 'em out, Stuthor!
Tails: Um... uh... so he's a ninja... and Doom Guy? Am I hearing this correctly?
Sonic: Yes. Yes, you are, Tails.
Amy: *sarcastically* Classy.
Mai: *sarcastically* I love a delicious side of transphobia with my sexism sandwich.
Emi: Granted, the Sailor Starlights do change gender when they transform, but that's only in the original anime. However... the Stuthor should've worded that better, because that's a very poor choice of words there.

"No." Seiya replies. "I have!" Hotaru chirps. "So what is the thing that you never have enough?" Benji asks to the shorter brunette. "GUNS!" Hotaru shouts. Benji nods. "That is right. You never have enough guns or weapons in combat." Benji says.

Tails: Uh, yes you can. Come back to reality. You know, it's that thing that you're ignoring.

"But a fucking circular saw?" Seiya asks angrily. "Well I would prefer a fistful of boom stick and a chainsaw but I work with that I got." Benji replies, the senshis aren't sure if he said teasing or not. But Haruka, Hotaru and Michiru burst in laughs. The inners and the stars look at the majority of the outers puzzled. Even Setsuna has a beginning of a smile.

Sonic: *fakes laughing* Ah, you're hilarious! *stops* Someone give me some tomatoes so I can throw them at this goofball.

"I didn't get it." Serena says speaking for the inners and the stars.

Akiko: Don't worry about it, because I didn't get it, either.

"He is talking about a movie." Hotaru says wiping one tear away. "Actually a full series of movies." Haruka corrects. "The main character main weapons are a chainsaw and a two pipe saw off shotgun." Michiru explains. "Evil dead. Is the name of the series."

Keiko: I don't care. It wasn't funny. Nobody in this room laughed. Move on.
Emi: And that still doesn't mix. Um... Mr. Sonic?
Sonic: Just drop the "Mister" part.
Emi: Okay. Sonic, why... couldn't he just mix those three series together and keep them away from Sailor Moon?
Sonic: Because something hates us, Emi. That's the only answer I could give you without my brain cells dying.

They reach the surface. Thankfully is a dark night and is raining, so the streets are empty. Everyone stays under the rain savoring the cool water washing them. "Ahhh…the small pleasure of the life that we take from granted." Makoto says. "Such as fresh air, cool air, water…" Minako continues.

Cassy: And Fedora Man. Don't forget that you two are supposed to lust over him now.

"Well since I will be cleaning up the car anyway I think that we should leave." Haruka says. And the inners squeeze themselves on the back seat of the SUV. Setsuna seat behind the wheel and Michiru sits on Haruka lap on the passenger seat. The stars pile up on the large open trunk.

Amy: Is this the making of a traveling band?
Tails: It's the magical Partridge Family!

"I will ride with Kaosu." Hotaru says seeing the state of fullness of the car.

Akiko: His name is... "Kaosu"? That's one letter off from my sister's name! No, change it!
Keiko: I'd change every letter, actually.

"Normally I would protest over you ridding a bike on the rain. But tonight I will allow since if anyone else enters here we won't be able to breath." Michiru says. Hotaru nods and she rides behind Benji. "You two go straight home." Setsuna says. "I will drop the inners on they houses and take the stars to they hotel."

Mai: I'd wish for the bike to crash, but Hotaru's going to be on it.

"Okay. We will run up the bath so when you three arrive will be ready." Benji says to Setsuna. "Pour my bath salts on my tub!" Michiru says moving on Haruka lap. "The light blue one and the pink one." Benji nods. And they move away. During the trip they all change from the battle form to the regular form. Benji and Hotaru arrive soaked on the house. She small girl is shivering with cold. Benji runs a hot shower and shoves the girl in there.

Emi: Gentleness is clearly not a trait in this Stu.

"Now stay there until you warm up." Benji says to the still dressed Hotaru. "I will leave the tub running, so when fills up get in there. I will go get the other tubs filled." Hotaru nods.

Amy: Um, she's eighteen. She should know how to take care of herself. *flustered* What the heck is going on? And why is this Stu treating her like a child?
Sonic: Uh... I have no clue, Ames. Looks more like a sack of potatoes with how he's manhandlin' her.
Cassy: Must be that gross mindset where women have to be compared to babies again.

Benji tosses his soaked jacket and shirt on a basket and leaves the bathroom. What Hotaru don't see is that Benji is undressing on his way to not soak even more the floor.

Tails: We never wanted to see him undress, either.

He moves to the laundry room and tosses his pants, shoes, socks and underpants on a basket and grabs a dry towel and wraps around his waist.

Mai: And we should care... why?
Akiko: Because he's "hot"? I guess?
Mai: ...I still don't care.

He moves to the others bathrooms and get the baths running. Hotaru also undresses and tosses her soaked clothes on the basket. The girl closer the water of the shower and enters on the half full tub. She sighs at feeling of the warm water. Half hour later she leaves wrapped on a bathrobe. She moves to her bedroom and dresses a warm pajama.

She passes by Benji's room and he isn't there. She moves to see the male bathroom. She hears a humming and knows that he is there. She moves to the kitchen and begins to make some ramen. Since is easy to make, tasty and the hot broth will warm them up. She recalls the argument that they had on the beginning of the Brazilian stay with them.

Sonic: No, no, no, not a pointless flashback!

Flashback

All: *groans*
Sonic: *slumps in his seat as his ears droop forward* No!
Akiko: *wails* Why?! Why a dumb flashback?! Why am I here?!
Emi: Remember when flashbacks were used to signify something that was important?
Keiko: No.
Emi: Me neither.

"I don't want him using the same bathroom than us!" Haruka says angrily. "And why that?" Benji asks.

Cassy: *as she puts on her fedora* Um, for starters, you're a horny guy with a fedora... and you're a jackass... there's plenty of reasons, dude.

"You use the same one as Setsuna and Hotaru. And I won't be anywhere close of the bathroom that you share with Michiru. And I won't be using at the same time as one of you."

Haruka seeks for an argument. "And he isn't leaving the toilet seat up." Michiru backs Benji up. "And he isn't tossing his clothes all around the bathroom as you do." Haruka backs away with Michiru' defense on the man cause.

Akiko: *pokes Cassy's fedora*
Tails: Remember, he's a gentleman who isn't like those other dirty men!
Cassy: *tips her fedora*
Mai: Not to mention that he's not as gross as the "dirty butch lesbian". Ugh. This fic is disgusting.

"And the only time that he walked in one of us was when you decided to have fun with me on the bathroom and didn't lock the door or placed the occupied sign there too."

Keiko: Remember how "polite" he is... despite the fact that he broke Sailor Star Fighter's hand upon their first meeting.

Hotaru blushes hearing that and notices that Benji also blushed lightly. Surely recalling the incident. "And he apologized to us." Michiru says. "And as a gentleman he placed the sign up and told to Hotaru that was going to enter on the bathroom that it was busy." Hotaru nods backing Michiru up.

Akiko: He's a gentleman!
Emi: *mutters as she mops up a wank puddle* Oh, blow it out your behind, Stuthor. Telling us isn't going to change our opinion about this idiot.
Amy: If I hear that stupid "he's a gentleman" garbage one more time, I swear... I will break this screen.

"He might do indecent things with our underwear!" Haruka says founding something to press on.

Tails: He's already doing indecent things to this universe, so...

"Like you do with mine?" Michiru asks teaseling. Haruka gasps with the words. Hotaru looks at Benji's face and notices that he don't want to get on Michiru's bad side. Is safer that way.

Amy: He's already on everyone's bad side here, so this isn't really relevant.

"He keeps a stash of hentai magazines on his bedroom!" Haruka says. "As any healthy male with out a girlfriend." Michiru says.

All: We're going to defend that?!
Amy: *screams as she repeatedly smashes the screen with her Piko Piko Hammer*
Sonic: He's not healthy! We're not referring to the magazines here! It's just that... I... *sputters* Someone help me here! Please!
Cassy: Well, for starters... that "healthy male" argument went out the window with his sexism, "I can do no wrong" card, using most of the Senshi as his mouthpieces... and the tentacle monster in the first chapter.
Sonic: There was a what?! Manic didn't tell me about that!
Keiko: And for good reason, Hedgehog. You would've fled the minute he told you.
Sonic: Uh, yeah, I would've! My jerk siblings just left me to riff Sexism: The Fanfic here!

"And what you have been doing in my bedroom?" Benji asks, more curious than looking for an argument. "Now that is a good question." Michiru says. "Answer the question Haruka."

Mai: *douses the room with gasoline*
Emi: *lights the room on fire with her flames* She hired us.
Tails: And nothing of value was lost.

The blonde stays in silence under the gaze of the deep waters senshi. "You placed one of his shirts into my closet I went take it back." Haruka says. "I don't don those kinds of mistakes Haruka. Benji's shirts are three numbers bigger than yours.

Akiko: Who is he, the Hulk?

And he was kind enough to write his name on the hem of his clothes so I wouldn't get confused if you two had similar clothes." Michiru replies.

Cassy: *tips her fedora* He's a nice guy, remember? Remember? Remember?!
Amy: *as she stops swinging her hammer* I'll be able to remember something about this, Cassy.
Cassy: And what's that?
Amy: *bitterly* I'll be able to remember the headache that this fic gave me for months to come.

"I was when Setsuna did the laundry." Haruka replies weakly.

"That sounds a bit more believable." Michiru says. "Benji where you keep that stash?" she asks to the tall brunette. "Well some of them are inside my closet and the others are on my nightstand." Benji replies. "I don't hide them." Michiru nods. "It isn't something that you need to hide. Is only natural." She says.

Keiko: It's natural to keep a giant stack of perverted magazines in plain view? Stuthor really did warp that universe to his liking with his mouthpieces. I hate this fic.
Sonic: At this rate... oh, god. *buries his face in his hands* Oh, god.

But Haruka keeps protesting, until Benji just decide to end it and stick with one bathroom as his own. And Michiru made sure that would be the one that Haruka liked most, taking out they own on the suite.

End of the flashback

Tails: Finally. Something that makes sense. Did we really need a flashback for something that's so pointless?
Everyone else: Yes.
Akiko: *pokes Cassy's fedora* Well, that and we needed to shill the Stu some more.

Hotaru chuckles recalling the long argument.

Emi: That's supposed to be funny? It only made me weary.
Cassy: Well, that's because you live in reality, dude.

She deeps fry some shrimps and vegetables making a tempura to eat with the ramen.

Mai: Will his dish be poisoned?
Tails: One can only hope.

Benji gets on the kitchen dressed on a sweat pants and a t-shirt. He offers help that she gladly takes. And few minutes later the duo is having a bowl of ramen while watching an anime.

After a while the other outers arrive and move to the bathrooms. The steamy ramen broth makes the trio hungry. When they leave the baths the found Benji and Hotaru dozing off on the couch after eating. In the coffee table in front of the duo are the chopsticks and the used bowls.

Only Michiru prevented Haruka from bashing Benji awake.

Amy: *smacks the Stu with her Piko Piko Hammer* You said that Haruka couldn't do it. You didn't say that I couldn't do it.

The trio has some ramen and after it Michiru wakes Benji gently. "What Michiru?" Benji asks "I am kind of tired now."

Akiko: We're tired of this fic already. Is the chapter almost done?
Emi: Almost.

Michiru blushes thinking on a second meaning on his words that he for sure haven't planned to put there. "Well you can't sleep on the couch and neither can Hotaru. So can you move to your bed. And take her too?" Michiru says gently and in a low tone to not wake Hotaru.

"Take Hotaru to my bed…" Benji says in a sleepy voice. "Okay…" Michiru blushes more. "No. I meant take Hotaru to her own bed and then you go to yours." She says correcting his idea. "You wake me to take her to her room and not wake her so she can walk there herself. That is mean." Benji says a bit more wake.

Keiko: Why? You carried her around like she was a doll your own self. Now you're whining because you have to do work?
Sonic: Ah, work is for losers. Also, the Stu doesn't like taking orders from women.

Michiru smiles gently. "I am her mother. She comes before you. Thought I am not going to leave to your own luck." Michiru says.

Tails: Uh... points for putting Hotaru before the Stu.
Mai: Those points were also snatched because she was hoping that he would... get lucky with her?
Emi: Wow, this fic is creeping me out. Where's the Bleepka?
Cassy: *places a bottle of Bleepka on the table* Right here. I picked up a bottle from Jess.
Sonic: Industrial Strength Bleepka, huh? She can really find some hard stuff.

Benji nods and gets up. He easily picks Hotaru up. The little teen curls up a bit on his arms and hugs Benji by the neck tightly.

Amy: Squeeze harder, Hotaru!

Michiru smiles at the cuteness of the scene.

Akiko: It's so cute that someone called LeMaire Medical after reading that.
Sonic: *tosses a cell phone aside* Not me.

She walks behind Benji as he moves to the second floor. He places the senshi of the silence on her bed. But she doesn't let him go.

"Michiru she isn't letting me go." Benji says.

Cassy: She really is trying to choke him, huh?
Keiko: I wish, Morgan.

Michiru tries to help but Hotaru don't let go of Benji shirt. "It can't be helped." She says. Raise your arms." Benji nods and obeys. Michiru pulls his shirt from his pants and pulls it over his head removing the shirt from him. Hotaru keeps holding he shirt. Michiru covers Hotaru and they leave the room.

"Well you can go sleep now." Michiru says with a small smile. Benji nods. "Thanks for the help." Benji says to her. "My pleasure." Michiru replies. Benji moves to his bedroom not noticing the hungry look on Michiru eyes when seeing him half naked in front of her.

All: Uh...
Akiko: *sighs as she mops up a wank puddle*
Cassy: Ew. Dude, no. Just... ew.
Emi: This fic is disgusting. Michiru is a lesbian. Stuthor, do you know what that even means?
Tails: No, he doesn't.
Mai: I'm tempted to throw a dictionary at this Stuthor.
Sonic: Throw two at him.

End of the chapter three:

Sonic, Amy, Cassy, Emi: *fights over the bottle of Bleepka*
Mai: Someone contact the original riffers. I don't want to deal with the next chapter.
Tails: I'm on it...
Akiko: So, um, what if we can't reach them? What then?
Keiko: Then we'll have no choice but to handle the next chapter. And considering that I saw Kusanagi and Nikaido trying to scrub this fic out of their minds... that's highly likely.

--

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