Mystery Science Theater En Masse: The Movie
Super Special 1: A Cruel Angel's Thesis (Part Twenty-Six)
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Note: Miyu, Emi, and Tomoko will be the main riffers for this chapter.
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Chapter 26 - Season of Hesitation
Miyu: I call it "Autumn".
"'The HELL!!? Chris, you gone out of your mind!!?"
Chris seemed to not hear Yashiro's painful yell, and sat by the limp
body of his prey, streaking his playful tongue over his bloody hand.
Tomoko: What a stupid question. Everyone's gone out of their
minds in this stupid fic.
Emi: I guess he decided to jump in and shed his last bit of sanity along with
everyone else.
"Fufufu...haha..ha...she should happy, though. She's become a part of
my strength...."
"Why you...!!"
Yashiro's fist flew with intense rage, but Goenitz stepped in between
the two, stopping the blow that would've crushed Chris' jaw. He slowly turned
from the trembling man and to the boy that sat behind him with a grin.
"Chris....you....!?"
Emi: Yes, he's Orochi. We know. Next scene, please.
The point of the arrow on Himiko's staff pointed straight at Kyo's
chest as it loomed over his fallen body. But the staff remained in the air for
what seemed an eternity. Anxious of the fatal blow, Kyo creeped his eyes over
Himiko who stood beside him. She kept her arm high in the air, but her head
looked straight above at the Altar....
"...Kira?"
".............There's some strange things going on up
there.............that boy....can he be?"
Miyu: ...what did Emiko just say, fic?
Tomoko: *sighs* This is stupid. We have two scenes that're saying the
same thing. What's the point?
Emi: Padding.
Chris looked up at the ceiling of the chamber, high above him, as
he sighed.
"This isn't enough.....not at all....for the sleeping 'me' to awake, I
need more energy....."
"Another soul's in you?"
Goenitz slowly shook his head as he staggered backwards.
"Another 'Chalice' in the same era..!? This can't be!!"
"What!? Then Chris too is...!?"
Yashiro turned towards the priest for an explaination, but was rudely
interupted by the boy who stepped towards them with confidents steps.
Miyu: *bored* We're still going on with this? This is the third scene that basically shows off Chris's transformation.
"....You've lost your purpose to me, old man...."
"Eh!?"
Mai, Axl: *sings* O Canada...
Mai: *sticks a tiny Canadian flag in her hair*
A pillar of dark flames burst on Chris' raised hand, and howled into
the humid air. The fury of fire churned and rushed at Goenitz and knocked him
from the small altar.
"GyaaaAA!!!"
His conscience left him about half way down to the ground.
Tomoko: And that's a lot less painful than reading this crap.
"!!...That figure that fell....!"
"Goenitz!?"
Kyo and Iori looked at each other, trying to confirm their dreadful
speculations in the face of the other. But without anything to prove them, the
figure fell heavily onto the ground. The three watched the bloody impact with
wide eyes.
"What the hell's going on up there? Are they fighting against each
other...?"
Iori whispered as he narrowed his eyes to see the top of the altar
with little luck.
Emi: So they just turned into the Shitennou from the original Sailor Moon anime. How fitting for the "Four Heavenly Kings".
"....two 'Chalice'...? There's another that has the Orochi soul
sleeping within, other than me....?"
Himiko shook her head. She shifted her vision to the barren ground in
deep thoughts.
"........Yuki's in danger!!!"
"Eh?"
Mai, Axl: *sings* O Canada... our home and native land...
Axl: I swear, everyone needs to stop answering like that. It's just stupid
now.
Miyu: I agree.
Without answering to Kyo, dumbfound at the sudden yell, Himiko pounced to the heights of the altar.
Tomoko: So you're telling me that this moron forgot about his own
girlfriend?
Miyu: To be somewhat fair, he was getting his behind kicked by the
Sue.
Emi: And that even loses credibility when you consider that the Sue did
say that Yuki would die if Pod Master Kyo didn't fight her.
"H...hey, let's cut this out, man....."
For once, Yashiro felt an alarming chill crawling down his muscular
back. But at this moment, those muscles meant nothing.
Tomoko: Unless you're that frail Sue who's more powerful than he is.
Chris innocently giggled
as he stepped towards him.
"Cut? Cut out what?? You should take this as an honor to merge your
life with mine....now come....!"
Axl: I do not want to read that hentai.
Emi: *laughs*
"Tch!"
Finally noticing the meaninglessness of words, Yashiro shifted into a
fighting stance. Suddenly, something landed by his parted feet. Himiko silently
landed on her feet safely by him.
"Ungh!!"
"Argh!"
Both Chris and Himiko fell to their knees, clenching their heads,
seemingly in great pain.
Miyu: Oh, they do not know what pain is.
Tomoko: I know what it is, and I'm good at dishing it out.
Yashiro, though suprized at the sudden intruder to his
fight and the fall of his enemy, studied the two carefully.
"They.....their Orochi souls are.....reverbrating? So they both ARE
the embodiment of the Orochi!"
Chris tugged at his shiny hair furiously as he rolled on the smooth
tiled floor.
Emi: Oh, dear. He's cracking up again.
Himiko was in a similar situation, but still she was dragging her
body away from Yashiro and Chris. Beyond her reach laid the sacrificial maiden
they have brought for the final summoning ceremony for their "Lord".....
"Yu....ki...chan!"
Yashiro stared at her as Himiko grasped the unconscience girl's body
in her own arms and clumsily staggering to her own feet.
Emi: Something tells me that she is no longer "Himiko" if she's calling her by "Yuki-chan".
"Guh....uuu..uUUU!!"
Chris bellowed as his body shook violently in spasms.
"Uwaaaaa~!!"
Somehow the boy sprang to his feet. His teeth (or should we say
fangs?) gnashed as his eyes flashed a blazing red.
Miyu: Suethor. Stop with the author's notes. They're incredibly tedious.
With the same intense speed that got him off the ground, Chris rushed towards Himiko, who was still carrying Yuki and was wobbling towards the Atlar's edges.
Thud......!!!
"Eh.....?"
Mai, Axl: *sighs, sings* O Criminy... Our annoyance is high...
Axl: *sicks a tiny Canadian flag in his hair*
Himiko turned to the dull sound that echoed behind her. Yashiro stood
close behind her, with Chris' claws digging deep into his chest.
"Gof!"
Blood burst from his mouth as he coughed from the intoxicating pain
that burned his chest. Himiko stared blankly at him.
"Why...?"
Miyu: Because you're a Sue who uses everyone. Stop trying to be humble.
"Heh.....it's more than enough for me to see a woman I love die in
front of my damn eyes in one day....!"
"Yashiro!"
"I'll keep this brat pinned here for a while! You should get down
there, to your own man...."
"I....I'm sorry.....to have you...suffer for me......"
Tomoko: Are you kidding me?
Miyu: Did Orochi Yashiro... sacrifice himself for the Sue's
happiness?
Emi: Oh, my goodness, she literally used someone to the point where it
ended in their death. Again, Yashiro and Shermie only sacrificed
themselves for Orochi's awakening. There was no Mary Sue involved!
Tomoko: She's "sorry". Yeah, right. She'll use anyone as long as she
doesn't die in the end.
"Guh! Hu...hurry up, go!"
His voice became painfully weaker by the breath. Himiko shook her
head, and leaped from the Altar with Yuki in her arms.
Tomoko: She just shook her head? That's it?
Emi: That just made it look like she chided him for being an idiot.
Miyu: Especially when her presence caused everyone to turn into idiots.
"How...DARE you interfere with me.....!!!"
Chris growled as he glared up his arm and to Yashiro. He flung his arm
to pull off the limp body off, and Yashiro's body flew into the air.
"She...Shermie....I'm............com..ing......."
Emi: Oh, now you care about Shermie.
Tails: Possessed dummy.
"Yuki!!"
Kyo exclaimed seeing the two figures landing on the ground a distance
away from him, by Himiko's staff that thrusted from the earth.
"Can you two walk!!?"
The men looked up at the familiar tone.
".....Kira!!"
"Let's keep the emotional reunion and the explainations later! Come
over here quickly!!"
Kira grabbed the staff and pulled it out of the ground. Not knowing
the sudden recovery of 'Kira' or what she was so hasty about, but Kyo and Iori
managed to drag themselves to her side.
"We're all here now, right!? Now, don't get even an inch away from
me!!"
"W, wait a minute, Kira! What's going on!?"
Kyo pulled himself to his knees as he looked up at Kira's pale face.
"It's our worst nightmare!!"
Tomoko: Those two idiots finally figured out that they're in a shitty fanfic.
Suddenly, the Altar exploded. A rain of rubble and dust fell on them as Kyo and Iori stared at the origin of the explosion for the source. A young man emerged from the smoke. It must be Chris, though his shirt was torn and gone, and his body has grown considerably. His short hair rustled in a magnificent shimmer; a silver similar to that of Yashiro's hair.
Miyu: Of course Chris would still be Orochi.
Emi: That would just make her "unattractive". And we can't have that.
"Who the....!!?"
Kira didn't answer, but instead, extended her arms and held the staff
in her hands as she closed her eyes. She started to mumble as the orb on the
staff's top began to glow dully. A magic of ancient words that neither Kyo nor
Iori could make out. Rubble continued to fall, and Kyo gasped to see a great
boulder flying towards them from above.
"HOLY SHI.....!!!"
Tomoko: Well, the fic's not holy, but it is shit.
Kyo tried to scurry out of the way, when a sudden burst of rays from
under him interfered his path. A circle of light burst from the earth,
encircling them, and projected up to create a sphere. The boulder simply bound
off the curtain of light that surrounded them.
"Huh?"
"I told you to not get out of my reach! Walk a step out of this
barrier now, and you'll be torn to pieces!"
Kira shouted as she panted deeply from the use of the forcefield.
Kyo K.: Do it, fake me! Get out of the fic!
Emi: *unfazed* Oh, look. She's actually putting effort into something.
Tomoko: That's twenty-six chapters too late, Tsukino. I'm not buying the
crap that she's trying to sell us.
Miyu: I know that she's trying to protect them, but he actually had a
reason to move. I mean, he was trying to get out of a boulder's way!
Tomoko: Damned if he does, damned if he doesn't, Prower.
Puzzled at the comment, Kyo looked beyond the barrier and the rain of rocks. Nothing.
Miyu: *adjusts glasses* Nothing. Just like the contents of his head.
The room they were presumably in has somehow vanished! All that he
could see was white, streached infinitely in front of his view.
"What the hell!?"
"We're sucked into another demention....created by the energy that
sparked between the two Orochi souls.......I've read this in ancient scrolls,
but I never knew it was true....."
Emi: *stares at the screen* You're an idiot, Mary Sue. If there's a legend in KOF... it's going to be true somewhere down the line.
Iori turned to Kira.
"What's going on, then!?"
"Second Genesis......the creation of another Universe.........!"
Emi: A universe of Mary Sues and Gary Stus? I don't want to see it,
then.
Tomoko: I do. I'll have so much fun whipping all of their smug little
asses across the galaxy.
Miyu: Have fun with that.
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Continue to Part Twenty-Seven
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