Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Riffer Recruits, Episode 1: Catwoman: Rebirth (Part Six)

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Chapter 9:

Destined To Be…

(Part 1: Bad Day)

"Let me get this strait," The principal sat before Isis looking through a few papers, "this is your first day of school?"

Tails: *as he's piecing his Miles Electric together* In the Bering Strait?
Miyuki: You're the prinicipal, shouldn't you probably know that?

Isis was looking kind of out of it. She really didn't want to be in the principal's office at this time, "Well…yeah, but…" she tried not to make eye contact with the principal.

The principal lean forward to his desk, " Isis it's your first day here and your already in trouble. Now I don't have your files so I don't know what your last school was like, but here, we don't allow that kind of behavior."

"I understand but, I didn't start the fight."

Tomoko: Yeah, but you lost all of that innocence when you warped Dana out of character and scratched her face up, you dumbass!

"Well you obviously finished it," The principal stood up and began pacing back and forth, "By the way what school did you go to before this."

Miyuki: The School of Hard Knocks.

Isis tried to look for the lies but was unsuccessful.

"Because we barely have anything of you on record. Only the papers your aunt filled out yesterday."

Isis found a little lie to throw him off, "Well all the files were being transported by mail car. And well sadly enough…the car was in a wreck and blow up, burning all of the mail inside."

Akiko: Well, it is Gotham. Anything can happen!

The principal was a little perplexed, "…How unfortunate,"

"Yes very," Isis agreed. She looked to the clock. The day had been long. After the fight she spent the rest of the day in detention. She was in there at least until 5:00. And after Dana had spoken to the principal it was Isis' turn. The time now was almost 6:00.

Tomoko: Yeah, poor you.
Akiko: *plays music on a tiny violin*

"Well Isis, it's getting late and I think you've suffered enough," the principal explained, "But unfortunately I have to say that you are suspended for a few days. I can't have your conduct become an admired thing."

Tails: What the? She's actually being punished?
Miyuki: I thought that fics let them get away with that!

Isis was saddened but understood, "Okay. But suspension?"

Miyuki: You're lucky that your butt's not being charged, you dunce!

"Yes. Your aunt should be getting a call from me pretty soon. You're free to go home," The principal opened his office door and dismissed her. Isis exited the room with her head hung low.

Akiko: *still playing music on the tiny violin* Hey, wait. When did I learn how to play the violin?
Tails: Anyone can play a tiny violin here. Just don't think about it too much.

The hallway was pretty empty for the exception of the janitor and a few teachers leaving after their after school activities. It was a lot emptier than it had been when Isis and Dana had their fight.

Tomoko: *sarcastically* No, really? I thought that everyone was just camping in the classrooms for the night!

When Isis exited the building, she could see that it had gotten kind of dark outside. The clouds in the sky were a bit heavy. Now Isis would had regularly gotten a cab to take her but Isis was kind of fearing how Maven would respond to her being suspended on her first day of school so she decided to walk. She thought that it would give her some time to think.

Tails: And then she gets into trouble because of course we're in Gotham.

Walking the dark street brought back memories. Memories of when she once felt so alone. She didn't feel quite that way anymore. She knew that no matter what, she would always have Felix. Felix her beloved cat. Some much personality that kitty had. Felix would always be number one in her heart.

Miyuki: I'm surprised. I thought that the hump buddy of the day was usually number one.

He had been there as she traveled the lonely streets of her old home to her new life. And soon Isis new life was going to get even newer.

Through Isis' thought it began to rain but she now found herself on a car abandoned street in Old Town Gotham, I should have gotten a cab. Damn.

Tails, Miyuki, Tomoko: *facepalms*
Akiko: This must be the part where someone has to do something stupid to further the plot, right?
Miyuki: It's not a badfic without 'em, Akiko.

The streets were cold and eerie feeling. The only people she had seen were a few homeless beggars hanging out on the street corners. Most of them were drunk which made Isis feel even more frightened. Even worst, she was soaking wet.

A drunken man wobbled his way up to Isis. She was feeling as nervous and scared as hell. He speech was slurred, "He babe hick bay," Isis stood completely still as the homeless man walked even closer, "You're a young one. You ever been with a real man?"

Tomoko: *disgusted* Like I need to revisit that crap again.
Miyuki: I know that I don't like your Sue behind, but kick his ass! Come on!

The dirty man stroke a strand of her blonde hair, "Get away from me!" Isis pushed his hand away and backed up. She ran into a brick wall behind her.

Akiko: We're going down that route? Really?
Tails: It's a fanfic. What do you expect?

The drunkard was looking a little angry. He drug himself to Isis with quick pace. She was trapped. He breath was horrible, "That wasn't very nice."

Miyuki: Because drunkards clearly drink Cool Mint Listerine all day and night.

In fright, Isis did the first thing that came into her mind. She kicked him in the nuts and scratched him across the face. As the drunkard was distracted holding his wounds, Isis made her escape.

Akiko: Well, glad that happened. Now hail a darn cab or something!
Tomoko: Please. Next thing we'll know, she'll end up in an alley. Remember what Prower just said? It's a fanfic.

Isis found herself running into a back alley.

Tomoko: *flatly* Boom.
Miyuki: *facepalms* The clichés. They hurt me.

The alley felt even more dangerous but Isis wasn't about to go back out onto the street and run into that anger drunk man again. Isis was attempting to keep an eye on her surroundings. No one happen to be in this alley, or so she thought.

Tails: *as he's reactivating his Miles Electric* That's why they call it a dark alley.

The coast was clear and she eased her guard. Until she heard the faint clacking noise of shoes hitting the wet pavement. She spun in circle trying to find her on coming attackers but they were no where in sight.

She stopped. She heard laughter echo through the alley. Her body tense as she awaited what was to come. A man came from the shadows behind her. He covered a hand over her mouth and grabbed her tightly as she began to struggle. Two men more came from the shadows in front of her. They were scary looking men.

Akiko: *sarcastically* Yeah, thanks for the descriptions.

Muffled screams came from Isis as the other to men grabbed her legs. Isis kicked and squirmed.

Tails: Now, I'm not expecting her to be the best fighter ever... even though this is a Sue fic. But isn't this just a bit jarring? I mean, she easily beat Dana's behind to next Sunday and bragged about it to boot. But if she has to deal with men, well...
Tomoko: That's why I'm disgusted, Prower. Of course she's going to need a man to save her because she couldn't do it.
Miyuki: Oh, doesn't this sound familiar. Kyo saved Emi like that.
Akiko: And Jin saved Yoko like that... well, sort of.
Tomoko: More like she abused him like a stray puppy.

The man holding her left leg pulled out a knife and held it to her chin. Isis stopped squirming in fear that she was going to die. A tear rolled down Isis' cheek as she held back her screams.

Miyuki: You're not gonna die, now get Batman in here and get it over with.

The man holding her right hand leaned forward to get a better look at her, "Maybe we could have some fun with her before we kill her."

All: *visibly disgusted*

The man on the left laughed evilly, "Yeah she looks like a feisty one," Isis was disgusted and began wriggling again. He man held the knife even closer and she stopped.

The sound of a trash can tipping over echoed in the background. The man on the right spoke again, "What was that?"

Tails: Kyo. I mean, Jin. I mean, Batman.
Miyuki: The generic heroic male has arrived!

The man behind her passed her over to the man with the knife and walked over to see what the racked was pulling out an iron pipe on the way into the shadow.

Akiko: Whoa, where was he hiding that pipe? Are we playing "Streets of Rage" here?

"Huh! Uhaggh!" These were the only sound Isis could heard coming for the man with the iron pipe. That along with the sound of flying punches and kicks. Isis waited in fear hoping that mysterious person in the shadows would be the victor.

Tomoko: He will. Trust me.
Miyuki: Seriously, do all of these fics have a checklist? It's like the same stuff is being riffed, but the universes and names are changed.
Tomoko: Originality doesn't exist in these things, Fujiwara.
Tails: Yeah, the names were basically withheld to protect the innocent.

The last sound was that of a pipe hitting the ground. All was silent and the two men holding Isis were getting frighten them selves.

Miyuki: And if you're smelling something odd, trust me, it's not the alcohol this time.

From the shadows came two white glowing eyes. The eyes stepped forward revealing a man dressed as a bat.

Akiko: You mean that... *gasps* ...he's Batman? I would have never figured that out! Thanks, fic!

He was silent. He looked strong and brave as he stood there before them. The man who was earlier holding Isis' right leg ran for the bat.

Tails: And... cue the butt kicking.

The man was getting an ass whooping.

Tails: Didn't need my device to figure that out.

Punches were going smoothly as if it were a dance. The man kick the Bat hard causing him to fall backwards against a wall. As the mysterious hero regained his balance to find that his foe had picked up a trash can and was ready to throw it. The Bat ducked as the trash can was hurled at him. He kneed the man in the stomach. The man held his stomach and the Bat punched him across the face causing the man to fall. The man tried to drag himself away and the Bat picked him up. He threw the man into the wall. The man was unconscious.

Tomoko: All I got out of that stuff was "the man" and "the Bat". Why are the details so darn stiff?
Akiko: Oh, Tomo-chan. You know that that's not important!
Miyuki: Sadly, that's one of the more descriptive fights that I've seen. Don't wanna hear about people constantly getting hit in the arm or kicked in the chest.

The Bat stepped closer to the man holding Isis. The man raised his knife to her neck, "Don't step any closer Batman or she's dead meat!"

Miyuki: Uh-huh. Throw the Batarang, Bat dude.

Batman stopped walking and shot back to think a second. Quickly Batman threw a bat shaped boomerang. Isis gasped in fear that the batarang would hit her.

Akiko: She really needs to start breaking the fourth wall sometime.
Tails: I think you're in the right universe for that, Akiko.

The batarang hit the man's knife out of his hand leaving a cut. The man looked down at the blood and angrily through Isis aside. Isis fell to the ground and crawled up against the wall. She would have run but Isis was stuck in a shock like coma.

Miyuki: Or maybe because the guys are in the way. I don't think you know what a coma actually means, author.

The man quickly drew his knife from the ground and made his attack on the mysterious hero. Batman dodged his knife and grabbed his arm. He squeezed the man's wrist until the man fell to his knees in pain and the knife once again fell from his hand. The man let out a painful scream. Batman let go of his wrist and grabbed his head. He rammed the man's head into his knee rendering the man unconscious.

Tomoko: And in true fashion of that show, they had to use bright flashes to censor the violent parts a bit.

Isis was curled up against a wall. She wasn't scared anymore, just in shock. All she was doing was staring off into a daze.

Akiko: I think she's high.
Miyuki: At least I don't need to get high to get through this fic right now, so there's a plus.

Batman came closer to her to make sure she was okay but Isis didn't even look at him still in her own little world. With the exception of a few cuts and bruises and ripped wet clothes Isis was just fine.

Batman kneeled down next to her. He brought his hand up to cheek, "You alri--"

Before he could finish, Isis lightly pushed hand away, "I'm fine," her tone was emotionless. She still didn't look at him.

Batman looked puzzled. Not even Isis understood what she was undergoing at this moment.

Tails: You mean to tell me that she lived near Gotham and never heard about Batman before?
Tomoko: Looks like it, Prower.
Tails: Well... that's dumb.

He put his arm under Isis knees and she allowed him to pick her up. From under Batman's feet came fire. The rocket boosters set the two into the air. Batman spoke over the wind as they now flew, "You know, this isn't the type of place a young girl such as yourself should be," for some strange reason this offended Isis.

Akiko, Miyuki, Tomoko: *stares at the screen*
Tails: Now, yes, she was being an idiot just to further the plot, and yes, we know that this is Gotham, but wow.

She didn't understand why her brain was filled with all kinds of thought and she thought she was ready to pass out.

Batman put Isis down. They were now out of The Old Town, "I wouldn't go back in there if I were you," the Bat advised.

Miyuki: *sarcastically* Yeah, you woman. Now get back in the kitchen and bake some cookies! *normal voice* But seriously, who would want to go back to the spot where they were attacked?
Tomoko: Masochists would do that.

With all of the thoughts running around in Isis's mind she mindlessly agreed.

Batman flew off into the night leaving Isis there cold, wet and confused. Her behavior was that of a mindless robot. She headed on home because it wasn't much further from Old Town Gotham.

Isis got back to the Cat Lair. She opened the door and didn't even close it behind her. She walked to the nearest window and Felix jumped up on the windowsill. I have to protect myself.

Akiko: Makes sense since she's living in Gotham, but... eh.

The thoughts of her mother's last words ran through her brain once more, 'don't let him get you'. She said it aloud a second time, "Don't let him get you!" Felix jump down from the windowsill and began meowing.

"No one is to be trusted!"

"I'm next!"

At once all her anger arose, "My life was in the hands of a man dressed as a bat!" as she screamed she punched the window causing it to break into a million pieces and fall down to the ground below. She pulled back her blood covered hand.

Tails: Well, that was... random.
Miyuki: We haven't learned anything from Kyo punching that mirror, huh?

She walked backwards to the middle of the room. Felix was now meowing in a strange tone. The room felt like it was spinning. Isis began feeling dizzy.

Tomoko: Probably because of the damn blood gushing out of her hand!

Thought and word were going in her brain faster than ever. Isis put her hand to her forehead and passed out.

Akiko: So she's not going to take care of that, huh?
Miyuki: If that gets infected, I wouldn't be surprised.

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