Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Riffer Recruits Episode 1: Catwoman: Rebirth (Part Two)

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Chapter 3:

The Cat Lair

The streets were foggy as Isis entered the city of Gotham. Was this possibly a path to a better life, or just another rocky trail?

Miyuki: The former. Because everyone knows that nobody has to work hard in these kinds of fics.
Akiko: Effort? What an odd concept.

Isis didn't know it at the time, but the moment she entered Gotham City, her whole life would be changed.

Tails: *as Princess* My life has change forever.

The eeriness of the misty streets was making Isis quite frightened and she was even getting a little paranoid. She had heard a lot about the things that often happened in Gotham City in the news. Lots of freaks lived there. And knowing that some mysterious man was out to get her didn't make her anymore comfortable. Isis held Felix tight, hoping that it might make her feel more protected.

Tomoko: Yet she lived on the outskirts of the city, which was apparently even worse. So which is it, then?

Isis was beginning to feel less paranoid at this point, not jumping at every little sound. She began to feel comfortable knowing that she was almost to her Grandma Kyles' old place.

Miyuki: And then "that man" was there. Whoopsie.

When she arrived, she saw in front of her and older, kind of worn out building. Isis checked the address in a little book she was carrying in her huge bag. Yep, guess this is it. She let out a slight unsatisfied sigh. This place wasn't exactly like the building she saw in old pictures, but she figured it wouldn't after so many years.

Tails: Yeah, because sprucing up places was clearly a thing in Gotham City.

Isis couldn't decide if she should knock or just walk on in.

Akiko: Take a third option and break through the window.

She bent down to let Felix jump down and to give her shoulder a rest from the incredibly heavy bag she had been carrying so long. She massaged her shoulder for a second. When she went to stand up, she noticed that there was already someone in the doorway, which gave Isis a little shock.

It was an older lady; almost as old as her Grandma had been. She had a slight red tint to her grayed-out hair and glasses covering her glassy eyes. She looked familiar to Isis but she couldn't quite figure out who it was yet.

The lady hugged her right away. Now Isis was very confused at this point, "I heard about what happened in the paper. I figured that you would be sent here."

Isis stuttered, "Ummm…uhhh…"

Tails: Yeah, I'd be saying that, too. Mind telling me who you are, ma'am?

"I doubt that you could remember me. I only saw you once as a baby. They only way I could tell it was you now, was because…well…you look so much like Selina."

Tomoko: Okay, why does the offspring always have to look like a damn canon character?
Miyuki: Because Sues make everyone's brain power drop. So they have to look alike.

The only thing Isis could do at this point was stare intently at the old woman. She had so many questions at this point and didn't know exactly what to say.

"By the way, I'm Maven," the older woman informed, "I was your grandmother's assistant and best friend—aside from Isis--back in the day. Until she had to leave…"

Tails: Isis? *sarcastically* No, that's definitely not a coincidence at all!

"Ah yes, Isis. Grandma Kyles' favorite cat. The one I was named after?"

"Of course. Isis was a loyal cat," Maven sighed in remembrance, "I see you've found a little loyal one of your own. What is its name?"

"His name is Felix," Isis looked at Felix and smile, "He's a good cat."

Miyuki: Which will probably also be her only cat, but hey! We just needed to be told how alike she is to her grandmother!

"Well dear, come on inside and have a seat. You're soaked and I know you've been through a lot lately. I'll make you something warm to eat and we'll talk," said Maven as she led Isis inside.

"Thank you. That would be much appreciated."

The apartment was pretty small in size. Not like any regular apartment. It was about 3 stories high and looked pretty abandoned for the exception of a few rooms that were occupied. By this time, the place was more like a hotel that didn't get much business though, do to its location. This part of Gotham wasn't exactly the safest.

Akiko: I thought that just about every part of Gotham wasn't exactly the safest.
Tomoko: Yeah, logic.

Maven walked Isis and Felix into a room on the second floor. This room was much bigger than all of the other rooms they had past on the way. It was obviously Maven's residence. Isis sat at the table and Felix jumped up onto her lap as Maven cooked up something on the stove, "You really don't have to do this for me. I'm really not that hungry."

"Oh don't be silly dear," the older lady protested, "I'm sure at least your cat must be," she pulled a carton of milk out of the refrigerator and pour some into a bowl. She laid the bowl on the floor and Felix jumped down from Isis' lap to retrieve the milk.

Isis licked her lips as she watched the cat lap the milk.

Tails: *as he's fiddling with his Miles Electric* This is incredibly thrilling. Milk. Whoo.

Then she looked longingly at the carton Maven was still holding, "Do you think…I could have some milk?"

Maven giggled, "Well of course you can Isis," she poured Isis a glass and handed to her.

Isis practically drank the whole glass in one gulp. When finished, she sighed in satisfaction and wiped off her milk mustache, "Just like Selina," Maven mumbled to herself.

Tomoko: Because history obviously had to repeat itself.

The three of them finished their dinner and Maven began to talk, "You know? Your Grandmother was a very powerful woman back in her day."

"Oh?" Isis sat at attention.

"Yes. She actually bought this place. Made the whole top floor her own and became the landlord of this apartment. At least until she left and gave the ownership papers to me."

"Hmmm…why did Grandma Kyles have to leave this place?" Isis questioned.

Miyuki: Because this fic is here.

Maven scratched her head a little uneasy, as if she was trying to hide something, "Well…umm…you know… things happened and it was time to move on."

Isis could sense that Maven was trying to cover up something, "Yes, but what kind of 'things'?"

Tails: *looks up* You existing, for one.

Maven tried to answer more calmly this time, "Well, Selina wasn't as powerful as she use to be and there was a shortage of money."

Isis gave the old woman a questioning stare but then accepted what she had just heard, "Okay."

Akiko: That's it? Just "okay"? Yeah, let's not investigate this at all. Makes sense.
Miyuki: Who needs to investigate when there's a cute guy to hump?
Akiko: That's lame.

Isis stood up to put her dishes in the sink but before she could Maven took the dishes from her, "Don't worry about that now. I'll take care of it. You've had a long night. It's time for you to get some rest. Follow me to your new home."

Isis picked up Felix and follow Maven to her 'new home'. In a way, that word gave her a little tingle inside.

Miyuki: In more ways than one.
Tomoko: Yeah, I really didn't need to think about that.

They had reached the third floor. This is the room that had formerly been her grandmother's old home. It was very dark and dusty. All the furniture was covered with blankets and there was one section of the giant room with many boxes filled with who know what. Or at least Isis didn't know.

Tails: Probably a bunch of "how-to" guides for getting together with Terry.

Maven pulled a sheet off what just happen to be a queen sized bed as dust flew everywhere, "Sorry that this place is such a mess. I haven't been up here in forever. But anyway, this is your bed. Once you're settled in I want you to get some shut eye. Okay?"

With that Isis replied, "Okay. I believe that's something I could use."

"See ya in the morning."

Isis watched as Maven left the room. When Mavis shut the door, Isis noticed a sign on the back of the door. It said 'The Cat Lair'. Isis liked the ring of how that sounded, "Well Felix, I guess this our new home… 'The Cat Lair'."

Miyuki: Thanks for the title drop.
Akiko: *sarcastically* Yeah, and that's totally not a sign that she's the next Catwoman. Nope.

Felix meowed with a little yawn there in the end. He jumped up on the uncovered bed, curled up in a ball and went right to sleep.

Isis pick up her bag that Maven had taken into the room earlier and she put it next to the bed. She unzipped the bag and pulled out a picture. The picture was one of her as a younger little girl and the rest of her family (Grandma, Mom, and Dad) sitting merrily around the Christmas tree exchanging gifts.

Tomoko: Yeah, yeah, cue the sappy wangst music.
Tails: *plays sad violin music on his Miles Electric for a few seconds*

Isis sat up on the bed and slowly lay back holding the picture high above her head. Isis began to cry. Would she ever see merriment like that again?

Miyuki: Tune in tomorrow for the answer!

Practically everything that made her happy was gone…everything. Isis knew that these next few years were going to be some of the hardest a woman her age should never have to see.

Tails: Yeah, and watch those moments become the best moments in a while. We're not fools, you know.

To tired to put on her pajamas, she rolled on to her side dropping the picture next to her and cried herself to sleep. I'm all alone. No one here to hold me as I cry…anymore.

Tomoko: Uh-huh. Whatever.
Akiko: *rolls her eyes* And then Terry holds her in a few chapters or something. We all know that she's going to hook up with him.

Chapter 4:

Hamilton Hill High; Gotham Hell

Rrrrrrringgg!

Tails: Are we watching "Monster A Go-Go" now?

"Uhhg…not now," Terry groaned as he rolled out of bed, "I was out so later last night. This isn't fair. I want to sleep some more," Terry rolled over and closed his eye.

Akiko: Holy crap, he's a cyclops!

Rrrrrrringgg!

Miyuki: Sorry, I made that phone noise for the heck of it.
Tomoko: That's gotta be the fastest snooze function I've ever seen. How long was that, ten seconds?
Tails: Either that or the fastest nine minutes. That's how long the snooze function on my alarm clock is.

"Dear God!" he almost fell out of his bed, "Okay I'm up, I'm up!" said the sleep deprived teenager as he got up and turned off his alarm clock, "I've never truly knew the meaning of 'TGIF' until now…ahh…Friday."

Akiko: Yeah, I'm sure you've said it before.

Terry entered his bathroom to take his morning shower. He was still pretty stinky from all the running around, protecting Gotham for the night before. He had a run-in the Jokers just before he was done for the night. The warm water felt great.

Tomoko: The hell was he doing? Was he rolling around in a landfill while he took care of them?

When his shower was over he got out and wrapped a towel around himself while walking to the mirror. After wiping off the fogged up mirror with his hand, he could see himself. He looked at the terrible bags under his eyes,

Miyuki: ...that were oddly labeled "Macy's".

"Uhg…I look terrible. I seriously need a vacation." But who can take a vacation if they're busy taking care of an entire city? Just the thought of there being no one to save Gotham and the people in it gave him a slight cringe.

Akiko: Why couldn't he just clone himself?
Miyuki: Yeah, no. Ask Kyo about cloning.
Akiko: Which one again?
Miyuki: Kusanagi.
Akiko: Oh, yeah.

He finished up his morning routine and was ready to go, "I'll see you this evening Mom!"

"Wait Terry… You were sure out a long time last night."

Matt—Terry's oh so 'loveable' kid brother—took this time to taunt Terry, "Ooooo…somebody's in trouble," adding an annoying laugh a the end.

"Well, you see…" Terry didn't know what to make up, "well you know the old man," he used a lie that he had often used, "he always likes a change to his home. He had me move around a bunch of his furniture again. Took a while."

Mary was questionable, "…oh."

"Oh and by the way," Terry mentioned right before he exited the house, "Bru—I mean Mr. Wayne thanked you for the cookies. Bye!"

Mary shook her head to herself and mumbled, "That boy…"

On Terry's way to school he met up with his best friend Max, "Hey Max!"

Tomoko: Scene changes? The hell are those?
Miyuki: *while rubbing her neck* Tell me about 'em...

"Hi Terr! Oooo, you don't look so good man."

"Yeah, well…"

"So…" Max looked around to make sure no one was eavesdropping. The path was clear no one was close enough to hear what they were talking about, "were you out late last night?"

"Yeah," by this time Terry seemed a bit distracted. He was thinking about Dana. Max didn't know yet so he figured he should probably say something soon, "Something happened between me in Dana last night."

Tails: *as Terry* She was on puppet strings, and she was being controlled by this purple-haired woman...
Miyuki: "Something happened between me in Dana"? In her? Whoa, he just got her pregnant! This's gonna be awkward!

Max replied a bit excited, expecting she'd hear something juicy, "Oh, what?"

"We…we broke up…"

Max was pretty surprised.

All: *stone faced*
Tomoko: We sure as hell aren't.

She really wasn't expecting an answer like that to come out, "I'm really sorry," Max put her arm around Terry to comfort him, "Hey listen, this could be a good thing though. I mean I know you had thing going with Dana but, seriously, you have to admit, weren't you just getting a little tired of Dana.

Akiko: *sarcastically* Totally not the author saying that just to get a few jabs at Dana in! Nope!

I mean you've been going off and on for a long time now…" an idea sprung to Max's brilliant mind, "You know what? We're going to the Juice Bar tonight!"

Terry, still depressed and looking down at his shoe as he walked, replied, "I am?"

Max took her arm off him. She rose his chin up with her hand, "Yes we are! And you're gonna have fun. Forget Dana. You don't need her. We're gonna find you new chick."

Tails: Yeah, that's what he needs. No healing, just another person to deal with his double duties. What the heck!

Terry took this into consideration. Max was right; he was getting kind of tired of the off-on relationship. Maybe I do need to meet someone new, he thought, "Okay, I guess I could use the social points."

"Oh good! I guess we could go at 7:00."

They were finally there. Hamilton Hill High. I'm in hell once again. Terry already knew this day was going to suck. But he didn't know about what that night would hold.

'Luckily, Terry's 'favorite' person was the first one to greet him as entered the campus grounds, "Hey Terry," his 'favorite' person had a shrill mocking laugh.

Tomoko: Yeah, "thanks" for the "helpful" quotations there. This is "great" writing.

Unenthusiastically Terry retorted, "Oh hey Nelson…"

"I heard about you and Dana," with total sarcasm he added; "I'm really sorry."

Terry was at this point mumbling incoherently and ready to pounce. Knowing this, Max set a hands on his shoulder, ready to hold him back, "Just let it go," she whispered.

Terry and Nelson locked eyes as they walked passed each other with evil stares. Terry turned away and continued on path, "He's such a dreg…"

"Don't let him get to you. But one of these days…he's got it coming," Max assured him. In the background Nelson was now picking on Willie Watts.

Akiko: Outside after school?
Miyuki: Outside after school. Throwdown, baby!

Fortunately, Terry made it through the day. I wasn't as bad as he figured it would be.

Miyuki: Wait, the narrator's a school now?
Tails: Uh... wow. I'm starting to enjoy these typos now.

But in all his classes with Dana he felt so awkward. Especially in his science period. For Dana was his lab partner. Here's how that went:

Tomoko: We don't need to know. It was obviously stupid and awkward.

Terry sat next to Dana at there lab desk, "So…I guess we'll be working together."

"Yeah…guess so," said Dana as she put on her lab goggles.

"So who's your new guy?" Terry put his goggles on also.

Akiko: Chemistry is that sexy, huh?
Miyuki: Unless it causes an explosion. And not in his pants.
Tomoko: Classy, Fujiwara.

"Who?"

Terry was getting a little frustrated. He knew she knew what he was talking about, "That guy in the red car."

"Oh yes, he's just someone who is always there for me."

Tails: *sarcastically* What a healthy relationship. *normal voice* Sounds exactly like four certain other idiots who use their significant others for their own gains.

Terry tried to hold back from screaming, "…Oh. Here mix these chemicals," Terry handed her a tube. And

Miyuki: ...then a fight broke out.

that was the last thing they said to each other for the rest of the class.

Miyuki: Oh. Wait, if they're lab partners... that are mixing chemicals, shouldn't they be speaking to each other?
Akiko: Nah, they can just speak telepathically.

Terry was now sitting on a bench outside the school waiting for Max.

Max ran to the bench, "How was your day? Awkward?"

"Yeah," Terry answered as he stood up from the bench.

"Don't worry about today anymore because it's over. And tonight we're going to par-ta!" Max added with that a little happy dance.

Terry took a deep breath and smiled, "Yeah…I'm almost excited."

Tomoko: *bored* That's how I feel reading this thing. See, even he's bored with it.

Max gave him a little friendly punch in the arm, "That the spirit Terr!"

Terry's smile quickly became a frown, "What if Dana's there!"

Akiko: Then she'll be bashed like the "evil harpy" she is. Duh.

"Terry! Like I said: forget about her. It's time for a new start. A new girl. One that's not so demanding. One who will give you some frucking space."

Tails: Yeah, three guesses as to who he runs into, and the first two don't count.

"You're absolutely right," Terry agreed. He looked at his watch, "Well, I guess I'll call you later when I'm ready to go to The Juice Bar."

"See ya later than Terr," Max turned and walked away.

Terry hesitated to think, it's time I meet new people. I really hope that Old Bruce won't need me tonight.

Miyuki: Fifty bucks says that he conveniently won't. Especially since his dates with Dana were always interrupted in the darn show. So what makes this new chick so special?
Tomoko: Sue and Suethor powers, Fujiwara.

Then he started on his way home hoping that tonight, he would not be haunted by thought of Dana.

Akiko: Now she's a ghost, too? Man, this fic's just getting weirder and weirder.
Miyuki: A pregnant ghost, no less.
Tails: *shakes his head* We're in for a long one, aren't we?
Tomoko: Yes, Prower. Yes, we are.

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