Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Crazy Train, Episode 5: How a Spark Becomes a Flame (Part Four)

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So, the days have passed and Kyo & I have really enjoyed the time we've been together. After that little 'date' of ours, I never thought we'd go out even more. There are too many moments I could think of, but just can't say them all.

James: Turns out that they were X-rated.
Kyo: No, you jackass!

Although, one weird thing about my little bonding with Kyo is that, nobody really noticed that we were spending time together. Of course, I could be wrong…

Mai: Facebook is a powerful thing.
Axl: Facebook in 1994?
Mai: Why not?

"Yuki-san? A word with you please?"

"Hmm? Why, Athena? Is something bothering you?"

Rory: Yes. And it's definitely not you going out with Kyo. Nope.

"Not really. It's just that…oh, why don't you just come with me, okay?"

"Oh…okay…"

Athena brought me to the hallway for reasons unknown. She seemed worried. I wonder what's bothering her.

Kyo: It's Captain Combover's presidency campaign.
Axl: In 1994?
Kyo: Like your sister said earlier... why not?

"Yuki. You know I'm worried about you, right?"

"Yeah."

"And you know if you're in any fix, I'll be there in a jiffy, right?"

"Of course, Athena-chan. Why ask?"

"Yuki, please tell me what I'm hearing is not true."

James: *as Athena* Please don't say that there's another season of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians".
Mai: *as Yuki, nods*
James: *as Athena* I can't stand those people...

"Uhh…what are you talking about, Athena?" (begins to sweat)

"Is this true? That you and Kyo are going steady?"

"Umm…well…it was never in my nature to lie."

"Oh my God…Yuki, I think I'm going to faint here. You're not serious about going steady with that clown now, are you?"

Kyo: Hey, I'm not a clown!
Rory: Yeah, he's only missing his big red nose and juggling balls!
Axl: *guffaws*
Kyo: You two are not helping.

To be honest, I was a bit insulted about Athena's choice of words back there. Why would she call him a clown?

"So what if I am? It's not like you're the one who decides who I want to go out with…"

Mai: Now if only a certain dummy with a sponge brain would say that to her jerk of a husband in that awful book series...

"Yuki, you can't be serious with Kyo. I know him and he was never serious with anything, let alone with a girl."

James: His training... probably.

"But what if I tell you I see him in a different way? Shouldn't you be happy for me instead of mocking my judgment?"

Kyo: *as Yuki* You should be mocking that doofus named Bella instead!

"Yuki…"

"I have to go. I'm meeting Kyo at lunch. He said he has something important to tell me…"

Axl: They're gonna elope?
Kyo: I'm not going to do a Vegas wedding, and I'm not getting an Elvis impersonator.

I guess I sort of gave Athena the "cold shoulder" treatment. But, if you were me, and if a friend of yours were to say something like that, wouldn't you feel the same way?

Mai: Only if he was a regular guy. If he was a giant jerk, I'd yank her away harder than I could yank Axl's IHOP pancakes.
Axl: I'm more of a waffle guy, but... darn it, Mai. Now I want pancakes.

Later on, I met up with him by the cafeteria.

"Hey, Yuki. You sure took your time"

"Sorry, Kyo. Something came up along my way here…say, why just stand there by the door?"

"I wouldn't go there if I were you. I got bored waiting for you, so started a food fight and…well, you figure it out."

James: No wonder he never graduated.

"You wouldn't pass up something so trivial. So, anyway…what is it you wanted to talk about?

"Well, since you took your time and all, I don't have enough time to tell you everything. But here's what, why don't you meet me up by the rooftop after school. And don't worry, I'm not gonna leave you up there this time."

Rory: *as Kyo* I even thought ahead, so take this parachute if you get stuck again.

"Oh…o-okay."

"See ya' later then…" (walks away without even looking at Yuki)

I wonder what Kyo has in store this time around. He sounded so simple, yet I know something serious is around…

It's already three and school's done for the day. As Kyo said, meet at the rooftop after school so, off I go. But then…

Rory: ...it turns out that he was kidnapped! Can Yuki use her deduction skills to locate him before it's too late?
Axl: Help her find her missing boyfriend! Play "The Yuki Files"! Now available for your Windows 95 and Macintosh PCs.

"…Yuki-san?"

"Athena?"

"I…I'm sorry about what I said earlier today. I mean…I didn't mean to say those things. It's just that, I really am worried about you. I just don't want you to end up getting hurt…"

Kyo: Man, she makes it sound like I'd kick puppies or something.
Mai: No, that's what Mary Sues and Gary Stus do to make themselves look endearing.

"Athena, I understand your concern. And I'm touched by it. We're good friends, you know that. I can trust you more than anyone I know."

"Yuki-san…"

"Also, thanks for looking out for me. Now, as for my matters with Kyo, trust me on this one. If anything were to happen between us, you'll be the first to know, okay?"

James: *as Yuki* I'll let you know anything... except for those Black Friday deals. That television is mine, sister!

"So…Yuki. Do you forgive me?"

(smiles) "Of course, Athena. What are friends for? Well…see you later. I'm off to meet up with Kyo. See you tomorrow."

I immediately ran to the school's rooftop to check up on Kyo. I still have no idea about what Kyo will say but somehow, I have this strange intuition that is a serious matter.

As I reached the rooftop, I saw Kyo holding an envelope. If I'm not mistaken, this was the same envelope he was showing Athena a couple of months back.

Kyo: Only with different colored seals. I think they do that with American currency or something.

"Kyo?"

"Hey…umm…Yuki" (quickly places envelope inside his shirt) "…I was hoping you'd come sooner."

"Sorry…something…"

"Don't worry about it. Yuki…I wanna tell you something."

"W-what is it, Kyo?"

"I should tell you this…I may have to disappear for a while."

"Huh? W-why?"

Rory: I knew it! He's a serial killer!
Axl: Rory, no! Everyone knows that he has to return to his home planet!
Mai: He has truly phoned home.

"Got something to do. This is really important to me. And this may take a while. It may even last a couple of weeks, but it won't last more than a month."

"Oh…I see…"

"Hey, c'mon Yuki. Cheer up. It's not like I'm dying or anything."

James: Remember, he said that before he riffed "KOF-XXX".
Kyo: *shudders*

"When will you be leaving?"

"In roughly two days…"

"So, I guess we won't be spending time together for quite a while, will we?"

"Actually, that's one thing that crossed my mind. Since I still have a couple of days, I was wondering if maybe you and I could spend the entire day together. Just the two of us…"

"Really? But…tomorrow's a school day…"

"Bah! It won't hurt if you play hooky for one day."

Rory: It hurt me. That's what happens when I miss the giant exam that was worth half of my grade.
James: Wow, you need to learn how to time your class skipping, mate.

"But still…"

(sincere tone) "Yuki, I wouldn't ask you to go out tomorrow if it won't be special for us. It's going to be a long time before you & I could get a chance to be together again. So, what do you say?"

Mai: *as Kyo* I'll even hire a look-alike to take your place. Come on, Yuki!

"I…I guess so…"

"Great…pick you up the same time, okay? And don't worry…this time I'll be on time."

Even though I agreed with Kyo to play hooky for that day, I still woke up at six. I guess, I may have to contact Kyo and call the whole thing off.

So I decided to go to school anyway. I know that if I play hooky even just one time, my scholarship would be no longer valid. Kyo would understand.

Axl: What's this? A character in a fanfic is... using logic?
Rory: The sky's gonna fall soon, right?

As I went to the school, I was surprised to see all of the students outside the front gate. And to my amazement, there were police everywhere. Some inside the school, a few by the front gate and there were even firemen and a couple of news report teams. Wonder what's going on?

"Yuki!!"

"Athena, what's going on around here? Why is everyone outside of school and…what would a police squad, firefighters and a news crew be doing here?"

"Well, from what I heard, there was a bomb threat at school. They said bombs were planted all over the place. And that is perhaps why school is suspended for today."

Kyo, Mai, Axl, Rory: *looks at James*
James: What? I don't do that sort of thing. I'm not a madman.

"You're not serious, are you? Why would anyone place bombs at a school?"

So yeah, the school day was called off. But why was I getting the feeling that Kyo had something to do with this?

Mai: What does she win, Axl?
Axl: A new car!
Rory: *imitates audience cheers*

I went back to my apartment and decided to rest till ten o'clock arrives. But as I went in my room, the phone rang…

"Hello?"

"Hey, Yuki…guess what happened at school."

"I was there. They say there was a bombing activity."

"Hahaha. Never thought they'd fall for it."

Mai, Axl, James, Rory: *looks at Kyo*
Kyo: ...I'm not a madman.
Mai, Axl, James, Rory: Uh-huh.

"Kyo? Don't tell me that you're the one behind all this?"

"Hey, don't worry. There was no bomb. But I didn't do this just to let classes slide for the day…"

James: Well, he didn't do this today. Next week, well, that was a different story.

Explain why then…

"…I did it because I realized one thing before I went to bed last night. If you were to skip even one day at school, your scholarship will trashed afterwards. So, I figured in order for us to spend the entire day together without messing your scholarship, I'd just call in a fake bomb threat. It's that easy…"

"Did you really have to do something this drastic?"

"Hey, it's for a good cause…so, later at ten, okay?"

Mai: Nothing says "it's for a good cause" like faking a bomb threat. Your heart's in the right place, but your priorities are incredibly skewed, Kyo Kusanagi.

I couldn't believe he would do something like this. This was too much. But still…I'm touched because he thought of my scholarship and its value to me.

I guess the old cliché of "the end does not justify the means…" fits perfectly here…but I don't think that bothers him much.

Kyo: *while scratching his head* This itch is bothering me, actually. Ah, there we go.
Axl: Hey, this part's looking rather short. What gives?
Rory: I couldn't cut it anywhere else. It would look awkward.
Mai: Oh, well. We're almost done with this fic.
James: Aw, man! Fic was actually pretty fun to riff.

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