Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Crazy Train, Episode 5: How a Spark Becomes a Flame (Part One)

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(More than a decade has passed, but nobody really knows how Kyo and Yuki ended up together as the couple we know today.

James: Yeah, how come we don't know?
Kyo: Because I don't need to tell people like you.
James: *sarcastically* Wow, you're a warm soul.

This could be perhaps the perfect opportunity to put those questions to rest. This is all made-up for amusement purposes. Hope you'll enjoy it.)

Mai: We've read much worse, author.

Prologue:

Setting: Time: Present; Place: Somewhere in the US, Yuki's apartment

(It was a cold rainy day, with Yuki staring by the window.)

Rory: Last time I did that, Miyu gave me a cup of her homemade tea. Said something about "setting the mood" and all of that.

It's only been now I have realized that three years has already passed since we have separated. At first, I knew I was going to feel this, but now, I'm not sure if I made the right decision. I miss you, yet I cannot tell you. Worse, I cannot tell myself.

Spending the past few years without you was never an easy task for me. I know I have been through this before yet…somehow, it's different this time. I know you're out there…but where are you?

Axl: Totally not being cloned by NESTS.
Mai: Axl!
Axl: What?

(Telephone rings, answering machine plays recorded message)

"Hi, this is Yuki. Sorry, but I'm not home right now. So, you know what to do…" (Beeps)

(On phone)

"Yuki? It's me, Athena. Say, my concert tour is headed your way there. I was wondering if you're going to be free on the day of my concert. I'm really hoping we can get together again and talk about stuff just like old times. Who knows? Maybe I can get you upstage and we can perform together. Well, take good care of yourself, miss you a lot."

Kyo: Nah, Athena, you got her confused with a different short-haired person. A Sue who hates you, actually.
Rory: What're you talking about?
Kyo: Oh, you'll find out soon enough, Tech.
Axl: Wait, Yuki plays an instrument?
Kyo: Yeah. She plays the keyboard.
Mai: And Sonia doesn't know about this?
Kyo: Eh. She'll find out eventually.

Athena…maybe I never told you this before, but you have no idea how much I owe you. You've really been a great friend. And well…if it wasn't for you, I never would've met him.

Mai, Axl, James, Rory: *stares at Kyo*
Kyo: What? Is this why you four dragged me here?
Mai: Yes.
Kyo: I sure hope this is better than the crap that you made the flirt riff on.
Rory: Well, that and we heard that the last thing that you riffed made you chug a lot of Bleepka.
Kyo: Ugh. I had a nasty hangover after that.

Main Story:

(Flashback begins) Setting: Osaka, Japan; Time: 1994

James: *pulls out an invitation* I need a third team member.
Axl: Yeah, but I'm entering with the other Kyo and Miyu. You know how it is.

It was the first day of high school. I just transferred from my hometown so that I can pursue higher education here. To be honest, I was really nervous by the time I actually got there. There are a lot of things I never really got into thinking about. Thank goodness I had someone to show me around the place.

"Yuki-san!!!"

"Athena-chan."

"Hey there, girlfriend." (hugs) "It's been a while since I last heard from you. I missed you."

"Likewise, I'm sure." (smiles)

Mai: Looks like we're getting this fic in script format, huh?
Rory: Hey, it's either this or another long lecture on how you're supposed to conduct yourself.
Mai: I'll take this fic instead.

"You have no idea how happy I am to see you here. Say, what made you decide to study here in the first place? I mean, there ARE a lot of better schools out there, especially where you're from."

Axl: *as Athena* Don't forget that good school with the infamous witchcraft club.
Kyo: *as Yuki* ...that's exactly why I came to this area. I heard too many unpleasant stories about that.

"Now, if I remember, 'somebody' convinced me during summer camp and well…after that, I took an entrance exam here. And…" (Pulls an envelope out of her bag) "…this pretty much explain everything."

"Hmm, let me see that." (Reads the note) "Oh my God, you got yourself a scholarship here?"

"Yeah, well. It wasn't easy, I can tell you that much. And, I need to have an average grade of 90 to keep this up."

Mai: Wait... if Kyo's also in this school, does that mean...
Rory: Holy crap, he's used his brain, too?!
Kyo: What is wrong with you two chatty birds? You make it sound like I'm a male version of Kelly Bundy here!
James: I wouldn't say all of that now. At least you can read the word "the".
Kyo: Yeah, thanks, Daniels.

"Well, you don't have to worry about that. From how I know you, you can pass this with a breeze. So, excited on your first day?"

"Oh…I don't know. This is really a big leap for me."

"Anything you want to know so far?"

Axl: *as Yuki* I was wondering if those Mary Sue stories were true. I don't want to be ogled like that on the first day.
Rory: *as Athena* Oh, of course not! Those stories are just so silly!

"Can I ask you to give me a tour of the school?"

"Sure. What are friends for? Come on, I'll show you around."

I spent time on an all-girls school during my elementary days, so studying in a co-ed school is a breath of fresh air for me. I've never seen a place with so many people before.

Kyo: Turns out that they were all paid extras.

Athena showed me around that day. I have to admit, the school was huge. She showed me so much of the school; the gym, the baseball field, the school theater. I was really having fun. That is, until her pager started to beep.

(Beeping)

James: Athena Asamiya, M.D. to the rescue!

"Huh? Athena, is something wrong?"

"Nah, somebody's just beeping me. Hold on…" (Reads message) "…oh no."

"What happened?"

"It's nothing serious. I just can't believe he'd page me just to ask for a favor like this."

Mai: Kyo, it's the middle of the day. Can't you just wait until after class?
Kyo: Not that kind of favor, Gloomy. Get your mind out of the gutter.

"What kind of favor?"

"Sorry Yuki, but the school tour would have to wait for a while. Wait here, okay?"

"Umm, can I just come with you?"

"I don't know. This won't take long, so…"

"Please?"

"Aw, alright. But don't say I didn't warn you. Follow me."

We ended up by the parking lot and the only thing I saw was this guy fixing his motorcycle. One thing odd about him is that he's wearing his school uniform, yet there's an insignia of the sun at the back of his uniform.

Axl, Rory: Hi, Kyo!
Kyo: Eh.

"Athena? Is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me. So, don't tell me you're going to ask for a loan again."

"Oh, it's nothing like that. I was kinda' hoping you can help me fix my ride."

(Angrily) "You'd page me so that I can help you fix your bike?! Unnghh!!! You're TOTALLY helpless, you know that?"

Kyo: I'm that lazy that I couldn't take it into a shop?
Mai, Axl, James, Rory: *looks at Kyo*
Kyo: Oh, shut it. I'm not in the mood to hear another crack from you four.

"C'mon, I have to take good care of this baby. Remember, you own this bike as well."

"But you never did let me ride it once now, have you?"

"I don't think someone like you can ride a bike, hehehe.

Rory: Uh... is that another meaning for his--
Kyo, Mai, Axl, James: No!

Say, can you hand me that wrench?"

"Ugh! You're never gonna change, are you, Kyo?"

Kyo? Is that his name?

James: *dryly* No, his name is Bob.
Rory: *snickers*

"Me? Change? Bah, don't be ridiculous. This is who I am. If I change, that would be like…what's the word again?...epic.

Mai: Also, his change would be... "the bomb", as they say.

So, c'mon. Help me out on this one, okay?"

"As if I have much of a choice. Yuki, I'm sorry for this."

"Oh, it's okay. You can always show me around by lunch time."

And I forgot to mention, this was the first time I ever laid my eyes on Kyo.

It took a while, but they were able to finish fixing the bike.

Rory: They should've called me for that.
Axl: Isn't Extreme Gear different from a motorcycle?
Rory: Well, I fixed up some Extreme Gear bikes in the past. I don't think that they'd be that much different.
Axl: Until you discover the lack of an air chamber.
Rory: Oh. Dang it.

"Whew, thanks Athena. You have no idea how much I owe you for this."

James: *as Athena* Well... there is the matter of this purple haired girl who is trying to control her flames. She's very nice, but be wary of those marionettes of hers.

"I have to wonder though, exactly when are you going to pay that loan. Remember, it's the recording studio who paid for that bike, not my savings."

"Heck, I'll pay ya' once I win this…" (Shows an envelope with a "K" seal on it) "…well, let me check if the motor's okay." (Steps on engine; engine emits thick black smoke).

Axl: Well, at least he isn't driving a Volkswagen.

(Coughs) "KYO!!!"

"Hehehe, looks like I'll have to change the filters next time. But the engine is damn right smooth. Well, I'll take this baby out for a spin. Catch ya' later Athena…"

"I can't believe you're skipping school on the first day. You're never gonna graduate, you know that?"

Mai, Axl, James, Rory: *snickers*
Kyo: *grumbles*

"Pfft, school? Education is only a luxury for me. It's not gonna bring me anywhere. Well, thanks again…" (Exits parking lot)

"No wonder he's still in high school."

Mai, Axl, James, Rory: *laughs out loud*
Kyo: *sighs* It really makes me wonder why you ninnies tapped me to deal with this in the first place...

"Umm, Athena. Who was that guy?"

"Trust me, Yuki. You're better off not knowing him."

James: Sounds just like something that Keiko would say, huh?
Mai: I'm not surprised.

Well, it is lunchtime and Athena wanted to have lunch by the cafeteria.

"Gee, people here would actually fight over the food."

Kyo: So it's the edible version of Air Jordans, I guess.

"Trust me, you'll get used to it. You're lucky you're a freshman. You guys take your lunch early compared to the rest of us. So, enjoying your stay here so far?"

"Yeah, I am. I'm really enjoying my time here. I've made a couple of friends already. I can easily cope up with the instructor's lessons. But, well…"

"Aha, I knew there was gonna be a 'but' somewhere. So, what's up with the 'but'?"

Rory: Oh, you know what it is!

"…umm, I'm rather embarrassed by this but…Athena."

"Don't be shy. Spill it."

"…umm, who was that guy you were talking to in the parking lot?"

(Sighs) "Well, I already told you you'd be better off not knowing him. Why would you want to know anyway?"

James: *as Athena* Especially since he'll still be in high school for the next four or five hundred years?
Kyo: I'm going to end you for that.

"Nothing really…just curious, that's all."

"Why am I finding that one hard to believe?"

"Please, Athena. I want to know more…"

Mai: *as Yuki* I want to believe, Athena!
Axl: *snickers* Sis, he's not a space alien!

"Fine, I'll tell you. What do you want to know?"

"We can begin with his full name."

James: Kyo... Jackass... Kusa--
Kyo: *narrowly punches James in the face*
James: *catches Kyo's fist, smugly smirks* Hey, if you want to spar, we can do it after the riffing.
Kyo: Point taken, because I've been itching to burn you up for quite a while now.

"His name is Kyo Kusanagi. We've been friends for as long as I can remember and well, I should tell you this. He sort of has an unlikable image here at school."

"What do you mean by that?"

"He's the type who would tend to begin fights.

Kyo: No, no, they start them, and I finish them. They always just see the aftermath.

He's never around when you need him. He has never shown any effort at all to actually finish high school. Heck, he's been a senior for 3 years now!"

"In my opinion, he sounds like a real guy."

"And what's weird is that, a lot of girls here at school fall for him."

Rory: *with a checklist* Yeah, we have Emi, Mai, Jessie, Miyu... wait. *crosses Miyu's name out* Wrong Kyo. And Cassy actually likes his twisted clone...
Kyo: Wait, wait, wait, my clone?
Rory: Yeah. Said something about him being "deliciously evil" that one time.
Kyo: Man, that cat is weird. Also, I'm just pals with Glasses.
Rory: Got it.

"Really? Well, what about you? Don't you like him?"

"WHAT??!! Me? No way. Me, falling for a guy like him? Forget it. Kyo's not the guy you'd consider as 'boyfriend material'."

Mai: Keep telling yourself that.

"I don't know…" (In her head) '…something tells me he's more than that.'

The next day, Athena continued showing me around school. Much like yesterday, I was really enjoying it. That is, until…

(Beeps)

James: Looks like Athena got called to perform surgery again.

"Kyo needs help in his bike again?"

"If he does, I swear I'm gonna…" (Reads message) "…no, wait. This is serious."

"What is it then?"

Kyo: Kensou probably ripped his pants again. Don't mind that goofball.

"Oh, man…how could I forget such a thing? I have an autograph session down at the mall…man, the recording studio's going to throw a fit."

"Go then, you don't want to keep your fans waiting."

"What about you? I can't just leave you out here all by yourself."

"Don't worry, I'll be fine."

"No way. Boys around here are total predators. Once they see a new girl around here, who knows what they would do?"

Mai: If they even try to touch Yuki like that... *pulls out her bladed fan*
Rory: At this rate, I'm just glad that you only whacked me with a newspaper!
Mai: I'm not that cruel, Rory.

"What do you plan to do then?"

(Takes pager out)

"Well, desperate times call for desperate measures…this is the only way I can keep you safe."

I don't know what Athena was planning, but it looked as if she didn't have another option. A few minutes later, Kyo appeared.

"Alright Athena, what's this all about?"

"Kyo, do you want full ownership to that bike?"

"Sounds too good to be true. What's the catch?"

Axl: *as Athena* You'll have to watch the 2008 Detroit Lions games. Yes, all of them.
Kyo: Well... damn. I'm glad that you're not Athena, Spikes.

"Watch over my friend for a while and show her around the place."

"What?! No way. I ain't no babysitter."

James: No, no, being a babysitter only applies when you're dealing with the House of Representatives!
Mai: Sounds appropriate.

"Fine, if you don't do it, I'll have you removed as co-owner for that bike and it will be my sole property."

"Is that a threat?"

Rory: Uh... yeah, you doofus. *hides behind Axl* Please don't torch me, Kyo.
Axl: Rory, come on.
Rory: ...your tail's really fluffy, Ax. Not gonna lie, I could hide in it for hours.
Axl: *shrugs* It's what happens when you're a squirrel, I guess.

"Look, Kyo. You don't like the idea. Well, I don't like it either. But someone needs to watch over her for a while."

"Tch, fine. But as you said, once this is through, that bike is mine, is that clear?"

"Crystal. Well, Yuki. Looks like you'll be under Kyo's care for the time being."

James: This is probably the same guy who cracked his Home Ec egg and made a fake one to get by.
Kyo: Didn't you do that your own self?
James: Yeah. What they didn't know didn't kill 'em.
Mai: ...I hope you two never have actual children.

"How long will this session take?"

"A couple of hours, but I'll be back by lunchtime. Well, I better go then…"

"See ya' later, Athena…"

As soon as Athena left, Kyo seemed a little bit…

Rory: Miffed?
James: When isn't he miffed?

"Athena, you have no idea how pissed I am right now. C'mon, babe. Let me show you around."

'Babe'? Did he just call me 'babe'?

Mai: Yes, this "charming" young man just called you "babe".
Kyo: *sarcastically* You're so sentimental, Gloomy.

I have no idea where he was taking me, but from the looks of things, I think he's bringing me somewhere I'm not gonna like.

Rory: Least it's not a dark alley. He's not that big of a jerk.

"Umm…where are we going?"

"I promised Athena I'd show you around school, remember? I'm just doing my share of the deal."

We were climbing up the stairs until we reached a door. As Kyo opened it, I saw the school from the rooftop.

"Wow…so, this is…"

"At this rate, you can see the entire school at once. There's the pool, the baseball field, the track, the gym."

"It's beautiful up here…huh? Where are you going?"

"Well babe, I've done my share. I've shown you the school. How you enjoy yourself is up to you."

Rory: *laughs*
James: Wow, he's a piss poor tour guide.
Axl: I'd hate to see what would happen if he was a guide in a national park. *as Kyo* Another one got lost in the forest? Hope they had some bread crumbs for a trail or something.
Kyo: You really think that I would leave some random person in a forest? Come on, you know I'd only do that to Daniels and Tsukino... and Yagami.
Mai: You forgot Ash.
Kyo: Who?
Mai: ...never mind. Forget that I mentioned him.

"You can't be serious…" (Kyo closes the door) "…what the? Hey!!"

It turns out, the door was locked. I couldn't believe he would do such a thing.

Mai, Axl, James, Rory: We could.

"Open this door!! Come on!! Open it!!"

I was on the rooftop during that entire time. I wouldn't mind the fact that it was hot the entire time, but the idea that Kyo would do such a thing is what hurt me. Athena was right.

Rory: Should've gotten Axl up there with you. He'd make sure that you'd stay cool.
Axl: I don't know if that universe is kind to squirrels... I probably wouldn't fit in there.

(Begins to cry) "Please…open this door. Please…"

A couple of hours passed, and I was beginning to lose hope that he would come back.

James: We lose hope every time he takes a test.
Kyo: *grumbles*

I was glad that Athena already returned from her autograph session.

"ATHENA!!! ATHENA!!"

"Huh? Yuki!"

"ATHENA!!! I'M STUCK UP HERE!!"

"What? Oh my God! Don't worry, Yuki. I'm coming!"

Athena went up the stairs to open the door and get me down.

"What the heck is up with this stupid thing? It won't budge…unnnghh!!!" (pulls the door harder) "…ooohh, that's it! I've had enough!! PSYCHOBALL!!"

Mai: I think she used James's logic there... if it doesn't budge, blow it up.
James: You know me well, Mai. Then again, that's everyone's logic over there, anyway.

Later on, Athena opened the door and well…I began to cry some more.

"No wonder you were locked here. This door has major lock issues."

"Athena!!!" (Yuki cries on Athena's shoulder)

"There, there now. Everything's going to be fine now, Yuki. What happened here?"

"Kyo said he was going to show me the school, so he brought me up here on the roof…but I can't believe he would lock me here."

Rory: And there were no rooftop sales to boot? Man, I wanted to get that giant tire, too!

"That Kyo. He's gone far enough this time. I'm gonna talk to him and give him a piece of my mind."

"Why would he do that in the first place, anyway?"

"I don't know, Yuki. I honestly don't know."

"Athena…"

Mai: At least she wasn't playing hooky.
Kyo: Nah, she's not the kind of person who would do that.

And because of that stunt Kyo pulled, I began to…well…fear him. Yeah, I know, it's hard to believe that there was a time I feared Kyo.

Axl: Makes sense. At least he's not an abusive billionaire with an ego that's the size of the damn Sun.
James: Man, I want to blow him up so badly.
Kyo: You can do that after I burn him a new one, Daniels.

But then, well, like a fairy tale or something, there was an event that caused us to change the way we see each other. And it all began on a certain day…

Axl: *pauses the fic* And we'll cut it off here for now. Looks like a good place to take a small break.
Kyo: *stretches* Wow, this fic's a bit long, huh?
Rory: Yeah. I think this is the part where I should bug Amy or Miyu for some lunch, huh?
Mai: Go for it.
James: Might as well get something, considering that this thing's about to pick up.
Kyo: I'm kind of surprised here. I'm reading a fic that isn't driving me nuts for once.
Mai: Enjoy it, Kyo.
Kyo: I might as well. It's probably going to be the only enjoyment that I'll ever get here.

--

Continue to Part Two
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