Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Black Crow Crew, Episode 13: Sabrina's Adventure 2: Return of Sabrina (Part Four)

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5. The Lovestricken Shadow

Miyu: *begins reading a book* Let me know when we get to a proper plot.

After Sabrina got home after she had a great day of fun with her new friend,Darian the Hedgehog. She walked into the house and went to the party room. "Man,it's been a long day! I really had a good time!" She sat down on the couch and turned on the stereo. Amy walked in and sat down by her. "Hey Sabrina,have a good time at the beach?" Sabrina nodded. "Yeah,it was fun!" Amy nodded. "Who was your new friend back there?" Sabrina sighed. "His name is Darian,he's a very sweet person once you get to know him,he said that he would be at the beach again tomorrow!" Amy smiled and nodded. "You like him very much,don't you?" Sabrina nodded. "He is the nicest person I have ever met!" Amy nodded again. "Well,do you love him?" Sabrina's face grew a little red with embarassment.

Kyo: Just say that you do, for Christ's sake. Just give us a stupid love triangle already.
Cassy: Dude, I'm getting sick of love triangles, actually.

"Well, I um,I--" Amy patted her back and smiled. "I knew it! Your in love with him! Just like I am with Sonic!" Sabrina sighed.

Jessie: I sighed, too. Where's the plot?
Kyo: Once again... silly Jessie. Wanting things like a plot.

"Yeah,maybe you're right! But something is different with Shadow lately,ever since he came to the beach earlier,he's been acting strange,usually we like to talk,he hasn't even spoken to me today!"

Cassy: *headdesks*
Miyu: *looks up from her book* Still no plot? Oh, well. *continues reading*

Amy thought for a moment,then she gasped. "Do you think he's somehow jealous with you and Darian,when I saw him looking at you earlier,he just sighed and walked away."

Jessie: *tilts her head back, groans* It's. Fucking. Obvious.

Amy and Sabrina sat there silent for a moment until they saw Shadow walk by,he stopped and sat on the other couch.He closed his eyes and crossed his legs.Amy whispered to Sabrina. "I'm gonna go,maybe you two can get reaquainted." Amy stood up and left the room. Sabrina turned the stereo off and sat back down,she looked at Shadow,he still had his eyes closed,but she knew he was awake. "Shadow,why were you acting weird earlier at the beach,did something happen?"

Kyo: *sets himself on fire* I swear to god, the stupid literally burns.

Shadow didn't say anything,he kept his eyes closed. Sabrina got angry and crossed her arms and closed her eyes. "Hmph,fine,then be that way!" Sabrina faced away from him and closed her eyes,a few minutes later,she fell asleep sitting there.

Miyu: *while reading* Is she suffering from narcolepsy there? Because that was random.
Cassy: Just like the rest of this fic?
Kyo: Nope, this fic's just boring.

Shadow was still awake,he opened his eyes and looked at her,he knew she was sleeping,he quietly stood up and walked over to the sleeping hedgehog. He looked at her face,she had a very sad expression on her,Shadow put his hand on her head and petted her long,soft quill,he took his hand off of her,he saw her shivering.

Jessie: ...that line just riffed itself.

Shadow walked away to another room nearby and got a large blanket,he walked over to her with it and put it over her,the frown that was on her face changed to a fine smile,

Cassy: *headdesks*
Kyo: You're gonna get brain damage if you keep that up, Kitty.
Cassy: Coming from the guy who's currently on fire. Yeah, sure.

he smiled and quietly sat down on the other side of the couch next to her and closed his eyes.After a while,he fell asleep there,still sitting next to her.

Miyu: *woodenly* Ooh, look. How romantic.
Kyo: The sex questionnaire was a lot more exciting than this.

A little while later,Amy walked by to check on them and saw Shadow sleeping next to Sabrina on the couch.She smiled and told Sonic and the others. "Hey Sonic,you should see this!" Sonic,Tails,and Cream stepped into the room and saw the two hedgehogs sleeping.They all smiled. "Awwww,isn't that sweet,Sonic?" Sonic smirked.

Jessie: Yeah, we all just got diabetes from that.

"I'd hate to admit it,but those two actually do look kinda cute together like that!" Amy pulled a camera out and took several pictures of them. "I want to put this in my photo album!" Everyone agreed and quietly walked back to their rooms and went to bed. The two hedgehogs slept through the whole night.

Cassy: Oh, look. They're the cute couple. So why the heck do we have a stupid love triangle?!
Miyu: To cement how the original "destined" couple will eventually get together?
Cassy: Lame, dude. Freaking lame.
Miyu: *as she puts her book away* I know, Cassidy.

Shadow woke up the next morning when he felt something touching his shoulder,

Kyo: *as his flames dissipate* It's--
Jessie: Don't even start, Kyo.

he opened his eyes and saw Sabrina leaning next to him,still sleeping,Shadow's face turned a little red as he tried to move without waking her.He managed to get out from under her and gently lay her on the couch,he smiled and walked away,he grabbed a towel and ran out the front door.

Miyu: He finally realized that he was naked this whole time.
Jessie: *laughs*

After a while,Sabrinba

Miyu: Too bad she's not popular enough to be the new "Enoby".

woke up when she suddenly heard music blasting into the room,she shot up in the air and landed back on the couch.

Kyo: Sounds like those drug dealers at four in the morning again.
Cassy: *shakes a fist* Durn kids and their hippity hop music!

She saw Sonic turning the stereo down. "Oops,sorry Sabrina,I meant to have it on low." Sabrina nodded sleepily and hopped off the couch to her room.

Cassy: And that's the last time you'll see Sonic for this chapter. Yes, I read ahead. No, I don't care.

When she got to her room,she saw a small note on her door,she pulled it off the door and read it:

Dear Sabrina,

I am at the beach,waiting for you to come over,sorry about what happened yesterday.

Shadow

Jessie: I swear, that's all they ever do. Go to the beach. Have a stupid triangle. Blah, blah, blah.
Miyu: The beach is the sequel's answer to Cousin Tails's workshop.

Sabrina thought for a moment. "Oh,I almost forgot Darian was going to be there! I need to get ready!"

Kyo: It's a note from Shadow, yet the Sue's thinking about the false love interest.
Jessie: I'm going to kill my liver now. *mixes up a cocktail*
Kyo: No Bleepka, Jess?
Jessie: No. This isn't brain bleach worthy; it's just... boring.

Sabrina ran into her room and got her swimsuit on and towel and ran out the door.Sabrina ran to the beach and got there in a few seconds. As soon as she got there,she saw Shadow sitting in the shade of a palm tree,she walked over to him. "Hey Shadow! What are you doing here by yourself?"

Miyu: *adjusts glasses* Nice question, Captain Obvious.

Shadow looked at her,she was very beautiful,

Kyo: *facepalms* Mon dieu. (My god.) Yeah, let's just stop and mention how beautiful the Mary Sue is even though it has no importance!
Jessie:
*points to a puddle* Uh... what is that on the floor?
Miyu: *sighs, gets a mop and bucket* A wank puddle. Had to deal with plenty of those when I riffed... that fic. Ugh. *mops the puddle up*
Cassy: Ditto. Only... it was another fic for me, and those Sues sucked, too.

Shadow sighed very deeply. "You wanna play?" Sabrina's face turned a little red,she nodded. "Sure,why not?" Shadow stood up and grabbed a frisbee from next to him and threw it,Sabrina ran after it and caught it. "Nice throw!" She threw the frisbee back at him,he almost caught it,but it went too high and hit someone in the head.

Kyo: More "comedy". Soak it up, ladies.
Cassy: Nah, more like... "My clumsiness is so cute! Tee hee!"
Kyo: Kitty? "Tee hee" was one of the last things I expected to come from your mouth.

"Ow! Hey,you should really watch where you're throwing those." The person fell to the ground,Sabrina ran over to help,she noticed it was a red hedgehog she hit. "Darian?"

Miyu: And she nearly killed the false love interest with the frisbee.
Cassy: Suediana Jones and the Frisbee of Doom.

Darian turned his face and noticed it was Sabrina. "Hey,Sabrina!" Sabrina pulled his arm up,helping him get back to his feet. "I'm very sorry about that,my friend Shadow didn't catch it in time."

Jessie: *begins drinking her cocktail* Second rule of Suedom Law?
Miyu: It's never her fault. First rule states that they're never wrong.

Darian looked at Shadow. "Hello there Shadow,very nice to finally meet you!" Shadow just looked away. "Shadow! What is the matter with you?" Shadow looked back to her.He sighed and started to walk away.Sabrina turned to Darian. "Maybe you should come back in a little while,I need to get a few things straightened here." Darian nodded and walked away.

Cassy: You'll never see him for the rest of this chapter, either. Just a heads up, dudes.
Jessie: You know... all of this could've been avoided if everyone would just talk to each other.
Kyo: That's logic, Jess. We're not havin' that today.

Sabrina turned her face back to Shadow,who was almost gone.She ran over to him and put her hand on his shoulder,making him stop walking. "Shadow,I noticed since yesterday that you've been acting strange around me,is there something bothering you?" Shadow just faced away. "It's nothing."

Kyo: Tuer... moi. (Kill... me.) *lights himself on fire*
Miyu:
*screams, throws her glasses off in a rage* Oh, my god! Stop saying that it's "nothing" and stop padding this stupid fic out! Just! Say! It!

Sabrina crossed her arms. "Shadow,tell me what's bothering you!" Shadow didn't want to fight with her,he turned around. "Well,something has been bothering me lately." Sabrina nodded. "What's been bothering you,Shadow?"

Cassy: Know what's been bothering me? Five chapters, zero plot. I'm about to conk out here!
Jessie: *continues drinking* Well, at least this cocktail will dull the pain a bit.

Shadow was getting a little nervous. "Well,it's about your new friend,Darian.Well, whenever I see him around you,I feel so depressed,lonely,sad." Shadow was facing the ground.

Kyo: So dump the false love interest and please the whiny guy's limp boner because he had to throw a fit. Yeah, makes sense. *turns to the audience* It really doesn't.
Jessie: Been writing in that LiveJournal again, Shadow? *writes* How dare she not pay any attention to me? I'm a nice guy... even though I never told her how I felt! But she needs me, really!
Miyu: I just got some rather... creepy vibes from your joke entry, Jessie.
Jessie: *reads it silently* Oh. Yeah... I'm sorry about that.

"So,why do you feel sad about me and Darian?" Shadow was getting nervous again. "Well,i-it's just that..." Sabrina finally got the idea. "Oh I get it! Are you jealous of me because I'm hanging out with Darian? You are more sensitive than I thought!" Shadow looked up. "Well,yeah,something like that." Sabrina smiled. "There's no need to be jealous,it's not like I'm his girlfriend or anything,we're just good friends.Why,do you have a thing for me or something?"

Miyu: *as she picks up and adjusts her glasses* Yes.
Jessie: The whole audience could see that from two continents away.
Cassy: More like two planets away, dude.

Shadow got even more nervous. "No! I don't!"

Cassy: Yes, you do. Shut up and have her babies.

Sabrina smiled and stood up.Shadow also stood up. "Will this make you feel better?" Sabrina suddenly leaned in and kissed Shadow on the cheek.Shadow's eyes shot wide open,his face turned beet red and he backed away and smiled. Sabrina walked away and waved at him "Bye Shadow!" Shadow's face was still red,he put his hand on his cheek and sighed deeply,he was lovestruck.

Miyu: *places a dunce cap on Kyo's head, watches it burn* Well, that was mildly entertaining.

"I can't believe she kissed me!" He ran away towards the beach where Sabrina ran to.

Jessie: I can. We all can.
Kyo: God, this fic is boring.

When Sabrina got to the beach,she walked into the water and started swimming,she sighed and swam underwater,she was underwater for about a minute before she came up for a breath of air.

Cassy: And then she swallowed one of those itty bitty jellyfish and died. The End.
Miyu: Cassidy... you said that in the prequel.
Cassy: I did? Wow, history really can repeat itself, huh?

When she got her breath back,she noticed Shadow watching her from the beach. Sabrina waved to him. Shadow waved back and smiled.

Kyo: They also saw a fox who was giving them the middle finger for dragging him through this torture.

Sabrina continued swimming,Shadow watched and sighed deeply. "I don't know why I'm feeling this way,but I seem to enjoy it."

Jessie: *spits out her cocktail, starts laughing*
Cassy: And Jessie's mind has absorbed the unintentional boner joke of the day!

He sighed again and watched Sabrina swimming.Sabrina walked to the beach and dried off with her towel. Shadow walked up from behind and hugged her. "Thank you Sabrina,you made me feel much better."

Kyo: Yes, by paying attention to your whiny ass. Of course it's all about you and your fee-fees.

Sabrina smiled and went to the snack bar,Shadow followed her. When the two hedgehogs got to the snack bar, Sabrina bought her and Shadow a smoothie,they sat down at a table and ate. Shadow sighed as he drank his treat,Sabrina was quietly drinking her smoothie,not noticing Shadow's actions. After about ten minutes, Shadow finished his smoothie and threw the empy cup away. Shadow sighed and watched as Sabrina finished her smoothie,she threw the cup away and stood up.

Miyu: *deadpan* Thrilling.
Kyo: Hey, I'm already on fire. Why not make it worse? Hey, Jess?
Jessie: Hmm?
Kyo: Can you shoot me?
Jessie: Nope. I know that's a lot considering Sonia and Manic's exploding and your little burning tricks, but that rifle of mine kills Sues. And one shot from me... will actually kill you twice.
Kyo: Damn it.
Jessie: I know. Sorry, sweetie.

"Wanna play marco polo?" Shadow broke from his trance. "What's that?" Sabrina walked towards the water,Shadow followed her,confused. "It's a water game! When I was an orphan before I met you guys,I was walking by the public pool,I saw two people playing this."

Cassy: Did ya forget about the tragic past, audience? No worries, let's bring it up for two seconds!

Sabrina stepped in the water. "Don't worry,it's only knee-high,it's okay!" Shadow sighed with relief and took off his air shoes,he set them down by Sabrina's towel.He slowly walked to the water and put his foot in,he instantly took his foot back out and backed away until he fell.

Kyo: Okay, one request... don't put any water on me. *burns up into ash*
Miyu: Sometimes I wonder if Kyo's abusing that new ability of his to avoid the fic now.
Cassy: We all want to avoid it, dude. I don't blame him.

Sabrina giggled and stepped out,she walked over to him and helped him up. "What's wrong,afraid of a little water?" Shadow smiled.

Jessie: So Shadow is... just a black furred version of Sonic. Good to know.

Sabrina grabbed his hand and walked back to the water,Shadow's face turned red as she grabbed his hand,he walked with her to the water,he suddenly felt willing to enter the water,his foot touched the water,he shruddered at the feeling,but he was able to handle it.His other foot went in,he didn't shake this time,when they were both in,Sabrina explained how to play the game.

Cassy: Can you explain when your brother's supposed to arrive, Sue? I was promised the "evil twin tries to take over the world" plot in the summary.
Miyu: Sorry, Cassidy; just have Shadow and the Sue take up more chapters.

"Shadow, when it is my turn, I will have my eyes closed,you will be trying to keep away from me ,when I say 'marco' you say 'polo'. When I hear that,I will follow the sound and try to catch you,you will keep away from me until I catch you,if I do,then its your turn! Got it?" Shadow nodded. "Okay,ready?" Shadow nodded again.

Jessie: *sighs* Oh, my god. Wish James would just blow this fic up and free us all.
Miyu: *pulls out her book* I understand your pain.

Sabrina closed her eyes,Shadow backed away. "Marco!" Sabrina started moving towards Shadow,he kept backing away. "Polo!" Sabrina's ears perked up and turned to Shadow,she jumped at him,but he jumped back just before she hit the water,she got back up and walked around. "Marco!" Shadow walked behind her. "Polo!" Sabrina suddenly turned around and lunged at Shadow,she hit him and they both landed in the water.They both got back up and started laughing.

Cassy: Know what would be hilarious? A meteor crashing into the beach and ending this fic.

Sabrina opened her eyes. "Gotcha,Shadow!" Shadow stopped laughing and closed his eyes. "Ready?" Sabrina took a few steps back. "Marco!" Shadow started walking through the shallow water. "Polo!" Sabrina was keeping away from him well. Shadow thought he was close to her,but he was actually moving away from her.Sabrina giggled and splashed at him,Shadow shivered as he got soaked from the giant wave she made. Shadow fell in the water and got back up,Sabrina was still laughing when Shadow jumped at her,they both fell into the water.They got back up and continued playing.

Miyu: I continued reading my book, which actually has a developing plot.

"Hey,you're not bad,Shadow!" Shadow smiled. Sabrina suddenly snuck up behind him and started tickling him,Shadow started laughing like crazy,she continued to torture him in laughter as she kept tickling him. "HEY, STOP,HAHAHAHAHA! YOU'RE KILLING ME!!!"

Jessie: You're killing me... with boredom.

Sabrina tickled him for another minute before she stopped and ran to the beach. Shadow stopped laughing and ran after her. Sabrina stopped by her towel and sat down,Shadow sat next to her and put his air shoes back on. The sun was setting,they both stared at it,the sun was glowing a dim orange. Sabrina sighed,Shadow looked at her,her deep blue eyes were glittering in the sun's light.

Cassy: *slams her head on the table, groans*
Miyu: *as she continues reading* Just in case you forgot about how "beautiful" she was.

Shadow sighed. "Come on Sabrina,let's go home.Sonic and the others might get worried about us."

Jessie: *as Shadow* Because we have no lives outside of you, as you know.

Sabrina nodded,she picked up her towel,she and Shadow walked off the beach and back to Sonic's house.

Cassy: Well, I know what I can read if I ever have insomnia.
Miyu: *puts her book away, pours water over Kyo's ashes*
Kyo: *reforms, coughs ashes out* Man, I'm going to have find a way to avoid that.
Jessie: *completely bored* Something better happen soon, or I swear, I will eat my glass.
Kyo: That'd be a lot less painful than reading this.

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