Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Black Crow Crew, Episode 13: Sabrina's Adventure 2: Return of Sabrina (Part Two)

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3. Sabrina is Immortal!

Kyo: *lights himself on fire*
Miyu: Kyo, stop that! Put that fire out!
Kyo: Why? This is a lot more comfortable than what I'm riffing on here.
Cassy: I'm still wondering how the heck the couch isn't burning along with him.
Kyo: Because they're my powers. I'll just burn myself.

After the six heroes entered the large house,Sabrina looked around,it was a huge room with many door,windows,and even a skylight. "Wow,this place is huge!"

Jessie: Probably wasn't as big as her Mary Sue mansion.
Cassy: No, but it needed to be a lot more sparkly.

Sonic smirked and walked to a door,he stopped in front of it and opened it.Sabrina walked to the door and slowly walked in. Sonic turned the light on. "This will be your room,Sabrina. Hope you like it!" Sabrina looked around,it was a very large room with alot of new style furniture,it had four windows and a skyligh streching across the whole cieling.

Miyu: Uh... spellcheck?
Kyo: Spellcheck is for losers.

"Oh,I love it! Thank you so much guys!" Sabrina gave Sonic a quick hug and looked around the rest of the house. Shadow walked by her and smiled. "So,do you like it her so far?" Sabrina smiled and nodded. Shadow put his hand on her shoulder and smiled. "Here,let me show you around." Sabrina nodded and followed him. First they went to a blue door that had the word 'Sonic' on it. "This is Sonic's room,I'm sure you can tell that."

Cassy: *whacks her dunce cap off of her head* No, really?!

Sonic walked in front of the door and opened it. "Go on,take a look!" Sabrina looked inside and saw many pictures of him all over the walls,there were many awards and trophies on shelves,there was a large skylight on the cieling.

Jessie: It's spelled "ceiling". For heaven's sakes.
Kyo: She still couldn't be assed to spell "aura", so...
Miyu: I'm starting to wonder if Sonic turned into Mr. Nikaido.

"Whoa,your room is so cool,Sonic!" Sonic chuckled and left the room.

Cassy: Then he locked her in and detonated the place. The End.
Kyo: You wish, Cass.

The other two hedgehogs left the room and closed the door.Then they walked to a pink door with the word 'Amy Rose' on it. Amy walked in front of them and opened the door. "This is my room,Sabrina.You can visit anytime!"

Jessie: *facepalms* Why is this here?
Miyu: Because we needed more filler.
Jessie: This is boring. *gets out her cell phone* I'm calling James again.

Sabrina walked in and looked around. There were lots of Sonic merchandise around the whole room,rugs,posters,figurines,clothing,everything a fan could want. "Hm,I guess you're still chasing Sonic around, huh?" She and Amy laughed and left the room.

Kyo: Ha, ha, ha... it's funny 'cause nobody put a restraining order on her ass yet.

Then Sabrina and Shadow walked in front of a black door. "I'm guessing this is your room,right?"

Miyu: *groans*
Cassy: Wanna leave, dude?
Miyu: No, I'm fine. Just... bored.

Shadow opened the door and turned the light on. It was all white with many windows in it,a large skylight,a big screen tv,a huge stereo. "Whoa,cool room,Shadow! I like it!" Shadow chuckled and left the room,Sabrina followed him.They walked in front of an orange door that had the word 'Tails' on it,Tails was standing in front of it. "Hey,Sabrina!This is my room!"

Kyo: *accelerates his burning*
Cassy: *roasts marshmallows over Kyo's head* Keep doing that. It's going pretty well.
Jessie: *while on the phone* I'm serious, James. This chapter is full of "This is what my room looks like!" Oh, and Kyo set himself on fire. I don't know why. *to Kyo* James says hi, Kyo.
Kyo: *grumbles angrily*
Jessie: *on her phone again* Oh, he said hello back. Well, yeah, we can douse him out if we wanted to, but he doesn't like that very much. *to Cassy* Thanks for the marshmallow, Cassy.
Cassy: No problem, dude.

He opened the door to see many models of planes and machines,he had a large door that led to a long takeoff area,there was a large skylight on the cieling. Sabrina and Shadow left the room and continued.They walked in front of a biege door that had the word 'Cream' on it. Cream opened the door for them,Sabrina walked in and saw many flowers in pictures,vase,and neclaces. "Wow,your room is beautiful,Cream!" Cream nodded and thanked her.Sabrina left the room and walked around some more.

Miyu: *sighs* I need a better hobby. This is so boring.

Shadow walked to a balcony and looked outside,Sabrina walked there and looked.There was a beautiful view of the ocean,there was a sunset,a dim orage sun was halfway down,Sabrina smiled and walked back inside the house.Shadow smiled and followed her,they soon walked in front of a large door,Sonic opened it from inside and led them in,it was a party room,already,Tails,Amy,and Cream had music blasting and they were dancing.

Jessie: *while cooling off her marshmallow* And then they got a citation. Quit blaring that music, ya damn kids!

"Wanna party?" Sabrina wasn't sure. "No thanks,I'll just sit out for now." She walked in the room and sat on a couch,she sighed deeply.She watched as the five heroes danced to the beat of the music. "How did I get here? I thought I sacrificed myself,why am I feeling this way?"

Cassy: *screams, yanks the chapter's title off, shoves it into Sabrina's face* Freakin'! Read! This! Crap!

She saw Shadow walking to her,he sat down next to her on the sofa. "Hey,is something wrong?"

Kyo: Aside from the fact that this is a sequel to a fic that I loathed so much?

Sabrina sighed again. "Oh,it's nothing,Shadow." She looked away.

Miyu: Here comes the "tension".

"Come on,you can tell me,I won't get angry or anything." Sabrina stood up and walked away,Shadow stood up and followed her.Before Sabrina stepped out of the room,she felt a hand on her shoulder,she turned around and saw Shadow.

Cassy: *sarcastically* No, really? Could've sworn that Shang Tsung got his soul!

"Why are you following me,Shadow?" Shadow took his hand off her shoulder and spoke. "Sabrina,if there is something bothering you,you can tell me.I'll do anything I can to help." Sabrina started getting angry. "Shadow,I already told you,I don't want to talk to you about it! It's none of your business anyway,so leave me alone!"

Jessie: *while eating her marshmallow* Uh, you didn't say that. You said that it was "nothing". Shadow's not a mind reader.
Miyu: *sighs* Of course. The Sue is never wrong, after all.

She ran away to her room and slammed the door. Shadow was getting confused,he turned around and went back to the party room.

Cassy: Hell, I'd be confused, too. Let her wallow in her self pity.

Back in the party room,Shadow sat out on the sofa,worried about Sabrina,he sighed and closed his eyes. Sonic was still break-dancing,Amy decided to sit out,she got a glass of punch and sat down by Shadow. She looked around and noticed Sabrina was missing,she looked at Shadow. "Hey Shadow,where's Sabrina?"

Kyo: Who cares? Because I don't.

Shadow kept his eyes closed. "She...went to bed,she was tired." Amy nodded and went back to the group. Shadow sighed,he then stood up and walked out of the room,on the way to his room,he passed Sabrina's door,he walked up to it and put his ear on it,he didn't hear any sound. He then quietly turned the knob of the door and pushed it open just enough to peek inside,he poked his head in and saw a yellow hedgehog laying on the bed.

Jessie: We know it's her. We're not stupid. *now on the phone* Yeah, it's still dull. Needed to drag out what little drama there is.

He quietly stepped in and walked towards the girl,he heard mumbling sounds coming from her.He stopped next to her bed and looked at her,she was sleeping soundly,he suddenly heard words coming from her. "Must...find...purpose...must...find...reason...must...find...answers...to live."

Cassy: *as Sabrina* Must...find...ways...to...piss...off...Black...Crow...

Shadow slowly put his hand on her head and petted her long quills,he started feeling shivers on her.

Miyu: Whoa, hey! Bad touch, bad touch!

He smiled and pulled the blanket over her,the shivering stopped,the room grew silent. Shadow quietly stood up and walked out of the room and closed the door. He smiled and walked back to his room,tired.

Miyu: Oh. Maybe I shouldn't overreact like that.

In the party room,Sonic,Tails,Amy,and Cream were still dancing to the music,Amy stopped dancing and left the room,before she left Sonic called her. "Amy,where are you going?" Amy turned around. "I'm just going to check on Sabrina." Sonic nodded and continued dancing.Amy walked down the hall and stopped in front of Sabrina's door,she peeked inside and saw her sleeping,she smiled and closed her door.Amy walked away and to her room,when she got in her room,she sat on her bed and looked out in the sky. "Hm,Shadow sure seems to be normal now since Sabrina is back.Why is he being so nice to her,maybe he--nah,Shadow would never be like that to anyone." She soon drifted off to sleep.

Kyo: Oh, really? It was obvious in the last fic, Amy.

At the party room,Sonic,Tails,and Cream were all still dancing to the music in the room,everyone was starting to get tired.Sonic turned off the stereo,Tails and Cream helped clean up.When they finished,they all walked to their rooms and went to bed,Sonic walked to Sabrina's door and peeked inside,she was sleeping,he smiled and walked to his room,he sat on his bed and thought. "Why did Sabrina come back to life,how did she come back? I'll have to take her to Angel Island tomorrow and ask Knuckles about this." He soon drifted off to sleep.

Jessie: We know. You said that you'd take her to Angel Island in the last chapter. *looks at her phone* Damn it, my phone died again.
Cassy: You really need to charge that thing, dude.

The next morning,Sabrina woke up when the rising sun shone into her eyes,she sat up and yawned.

Miyu: The sun! It burns! It burns!
Kyo: Sun's burning, and so am I. I still don't care.

She notice the blanket covered over her,she shrugged and hopped out of the bed.She quietly walked out of her room and walked to the bathroom to wash up.When she got there,she turned on the cold water in the sink and splashed a cupful of water on her face.She dried her face off with a towel and walked back to her room,she walked onto her balcony and looked outside,she saw a dim,orange sun rising just as it was setting last night.

Cassy: So the sun decided to rewind itself? I'm lost, dudes.
Jessie: No, the sun decided to... stand still, Cassy. I'm not being sarcastic; I actually think that it's literally standing still.
Miyu: I'm wondering why this paragraph is even here. As a matter of fact, I'm wondering why most of this chapter is here. It's just pointless filler right now!

She sighed and closed her eyes to feel the morning breeze,then she heard a 'hmph' sound.She looked to her right and saw Shadow on his balcony.

Jessie: *as Shadow* Stupid sun. Stupid fresh air.

"Hey Shadow!" Sabrina waved at him. Shadow waved back and looked at the ocean.

Kyo: Y'know, Shadow sure forgives easily, huh? Let's ignore that irrational outburst that the Sue did to him last night and start makin' babies!

They both then heard a whistle,they looked to thier left and saw Sonic there. "Hey,mornin' Sabrina!" Sabrina waved at him. Sonic and Shadow then walked back into their rooms,suddenly,Sonic opened her bedroom door. "Last one to the kitchen is a slowmo!" Sonic closed the door and ran to the kitchen,Shadow ran after him.Sabrina ran after them. "I'm gonna beat you!" Sonic was in the lead,then Shadow got ahead of him. "Not a chance!" Shadow was in the lead now,until a yellow blur passed both of them. "Hah! You wish!" Sabrina managed to beat them into the kitchen,but before she got into the room,she tripped over a flipped rug and fell to the floor.

Miyu: Ha, ha, ha... it's funny because she's so clumsy. Oh, my goodness, this is tedious.

Shadow stopped and helped her up. "Are you okay?" Sabrina nodded. "Yeah,I can take it." She dusted herself off and walked wobbily into the kitchen. "You okay,kid?" Sonic asked. Sabrina nodded.

Jessie: You okay?
Kyo: No, are you?
Jessie: No, are you?
Cassy: *facepalms* Oh, god, dude...

After a minute,Tails walked in and sat down to eat. "Hey Sonic!" Pretty soon,Cream and Amy walked in to eat.After everyone was full,Sonic stood up and waited by the front door. "Hey,are we going to Angel Island or what?"

Miyu: If it was "what", we wouldn't have a plot... or what little of a plot we have right now.

Sabrina stood up and followed him out the door. "So,how has Knuckles been doing?" Sonic shrugged. "Eh,he cooled off soon after you disappeared,after he found out he was chasing the wrong hog." They syarted laughing.

Cassy: Yeah, remember when Sabre kicked his ass in the last fic? Oh, it's funny because Knuckles nearly got himself killed because of a mistaken identity.
Jessie: I hate these asshats.

"Hey Sonic!" "Yeah?" Sabrina dashed off. "Race ya!" Sonic dashed after her and got ahead. "Ha! Nobody beats me in a race!" Sabrina soon got ahead of him again and dashed away.

Kyo: Of course she still has to be better than them...

Sonic and Sabrina soon got to Angel Island,Sonic won the race.

Miyu: Well, there's a surprise.

The two hedgehogs walked to the altar and found Knuckles guarding the Master Emerald as usual. "Hey Knuckles!" Knuckles looked around to see Sonic standing by the altar. "Hey Sonic." Sonic waved at him. "Hey Knuckles,I'd like you to meet an old friend of ours!" Knuckles sat up and saw Sabrina standing next to him. "Hey! It's Sabrina,what happened? I thought you sacrificed yourself to save the Earth!" Sabrina stepped up in front of the altar and explained. "That's what I've been wondering myself! Somehow,I was sent back to life,so I went looking for you guys to get some answers."

Jessie: Ask your creator. She knows why.

Knuckles stood up and looked at her,she showed little differences,she looked just as she was before she left 10 years ago.

Kyo: *accelerates his burning* That's because she's been a damn monument this whole time! I swear, what is it with fics like these?!
Cassy: Because we're too stupid to remember. Remember?
Kyo: Oh, I'll give them something to remember!
Cassy: And then you'll be arrested because you're... well, you're nuts, dude.

"Hmm,let me see if the black emerald is still there." He stood by her and used his ancient powers to find the emerald.He saw her body was giving off black chaos energy aroras.Suddenly,Knuckles was blown away from a sudden burst of energy from the emerald,he got back up and went to the altar.

Cassy: Holy crap, he really shrugged that off!
Jessie: That's actually pretty badass.

He walked up to the Master Emerald,he called Sabrina to the emerald. "Sabrina,come here real quick!" Sabrina walked slowly to the giant green emerald. "Here,put your hand on the emerald and close your eyes." Sabrina slowly touched the emerald and closed her eyes.Suddenly,a black arora apeared on her hand as the Master Emerald started to glow brightly. Then a female voice came from the green emerald. "Whoever has the power to control the black emerald shall hold immortality through family,friend,and loved one. The holder of the emerald shall be the eternal guardian."

Miyu, Jessie, Cassy: *facepalms*
Kyo: *burns up into a neat pile of ash*
Cassy: Huh. *points to the ash pile* Looks like Kyo burned up.
Jessie: Hmm. We can't piece him back like we can with Manic... and he doesn't need to be swept up like Sonia has to...
Cassy: *pokes the ash pile* Yeah, so?
Miyu: Let me see... *pours some water over the ashes*
Kyo: *reforms, coughs*
Miyu: Welcome back, Kyo. Cassidy missed you.
Cassy: Uh... no, I didn't, dude.
Miyu: *smiles*

The voice disappeared,Sabrina took her hand off the emerald and backed away. Sonic and Knuckles gasped. "Sabrina,you are an immortal,you can never die,you're...just like Shadow! You are an ageless guardian who seeks peace and fights for your friends and family!"

Cassy: You're also full of even more bullshit Mary Sue powers. Because that's just what we freakin' needed!

Sabrina backed away from the emerald. "Me? But why,how?"

All: Because you're a Mary Sue.

Knuckles felt the emerald's power. "Well,maybe when you got petrified 10 years ago,it caused you to hold the power of immortality,allowing you to live forever without growing old like us!"

Kyo: Oh, that's bullshit! *burns himself to ashes again*
Miyu: *sighs, pours water on Kyo's ashes*
Kyo: *reforms* Damn it, Miyu. Maybe I don't want to reform sometimes.

Sabrina turned around and started leaving. "Wow,thank you so much,Knuckles!" She gave him a quick handshake and left with Sonic.

Jessie: She didn't punch him in the face again? Color me shocked!

While Sonic and Sabrina were gone, Shadow was getting worried about her strange reason for being here. "Hm,I hope she finds out what's wrong with her." Amy replied. "Me too." Suddenly,Sonic and Sabrina walked through the door and sat down,everyone stared at them. "Guys,Sabrina...is immortal.That black emerald of hers gave her immortality!" Everyone gasped.

Cassy: While the Black Crow members screamed in horror.

"Immortality?!" Sabrina slowly nodded. Shadow stood up and spoke. "Then that means she can never die,that blast must have petrified her until now.She may look older,but she hasn't gotten any older since her chaos emerald became active,that's how she became so powerful.Before we met her,her chaos emerald must have been dormant."

Kyo: How the hell could it be dormant if it did all of that crap in the last fic?
Jessie: Because... what is logic, Kyo?

Everyone nodded in agreement. Shadow walked up to Sabrina. "You are still like me,the same past,same present,and maybe the same future." Sabrina smiled and went into her room to rest.

Miyu: Did we just warp time? What the heck happened?

Sonic thought for a second. "So,that must be the cause of Sabrina's strange powers we saw back there.Yeah,you have a major point there,Shadow!" Everyone agreed and went to the party room.

Cassy: *as Sonic* Hey, the Sue's immortal and she could kill us all if she was brainwashed again! Let's party! *normal voice* Seriously, what the hell's wrong with all of you?!
Miyu: Eight chapters to go. *sighs* This isn't looking any better.

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