Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Egg Spiral Crew, Episode 13: Coming Home (Part Three)

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chapter 7

Colleen stood staring at Randy completely speechless. She finally moved forward and let him embrace her.
"What am I going to do?" She sobbed into his shoulder.

Sonia: Nothing, because you're a woman in a terrible fanfic.

"First, you're going to calm down and come home. We're going to have to go get her."

Amy: Yeah, just walk over to Costa Rica and pick her up. Makes a whole lot of sense!

"You're going with me?" She asked looking up at him hopefully and thankfully.

Sonia: And they say that there's no such thing as a stupid question...

"Of course." He hugged her again ~ Back at the Taylor household ~
Colleen paced as she spoke to what seemed like hundreds of different people. She and Randy would be leaving that day to drive to Martinsville, a small town near Detroit, to get Julie.

Sonic: But let's not show that detail, oh, no.
Amy: Ironic... Martinsville is actually in the same county as Detroit. However... it's not near Detroit. Half a point!
Sonia: However, it's in the Metro Detroit area.
Amy: Full point!

Randy couldn't sit still watching everything happen, so he signaled to the door to Colleen and after she nodded in understanding, he went out to the backyard. He heard shuffling from beyond the fence.
"Hey Wilson, can I talk to you?" He called out to his wise neighbor.
"Hola Taylor teen, what can I do for you today?" Wilson peered over at Randy.
"Well you've met Colleen,"
"Mmhmm, mmhmm."

Amy: You sure? I mean, we haven't seen Wilson until now.
Sonic: Yeah, offscreen event.
Manic: Either that or the author just wanted to have Miss Tragic Past and Hump Buddy make out.

"Yea and something horrible happened, her dad died and now she has custody of her little sister. I can't stand to see her really stressed out. I don't know what to do."
"I see, that is terrible."
"Yea, now she's talking about getting an apartment but I know she can't support the two of them on her salary at the grocery store."
"Well you can't expect her to stay here forever Randy."

Sonia: Physically, no. But when it comes to corrupting your soul? Yes. She's staying there forever.

"I know," Randy sighed. "but I can't loose her."

Sonic: But losing her is a different story.

"Perhaps you don't have to."
"What could I do?"
"Unfortunately, that's a question I can't give you an answer to." Wilson regretfully told him.

Manic: Thanks, Raiden. Big help in not messing up the timeline there.

"Yea I know, I kinda hoped you could give me a hint." He said sarcastically. "I'm going to go see how it's going, I'll talk to you later Wilson, and thanks."
"Good luck Randy." Wilson called to his retreating figure.
When Randy went back in the house, he found Colleen slouched on the couch next to the phone. She had her eyes closed and she sighed deeply. She didn't move from her position when he sat down next to her.
"She's at her friend's house until we get there. Everything has been packed up and our old house is up for sale. I've found us a good two bedroom apartment only a few blocks from here. I'll be enrolling her in school next week." She answered his unasked questions without even opening her eyes.

Amy: Well, that went fast, didn't it?
Sonic: They didn't even wait for the body of her dad to cool. That's how fast it went, Ames.

"Colleen, I still don't think you should move yet."
"What else can I do?" She asked turning her head and finally looking at him.

Sonia: I don't know, just sit there and have things just fall into place, perhaps?
Manic: It's weird, sis. She's not a giant Sue yet, but she just has some traits.
Sonia: I know, Manic. I'm a bit conflicted myself.

"Stay here."
"I can't ask you're parents to support us both. We can't stay here forever Randy, I'm going to have to leave eventually." She sat up and rubbed her temples gently.
"I know that but how do you expect to support yourself and a kid, let me help you."
"I don't take donations." She stood up and walked to the kitchen.

Amy: Might as well take the help. Being stubborn's not going to get you far in your situation, you know... considering that you have a sister coming! A sister that you need to feed and stuff!
Sonic: But she's independent! She doesn't need a man to help her... even though she'll need that man to help her.

"Not a donation. I mean we move into the apartment together, I'll help pay rent." The idea hadn't occurred to him until after it was out of his mouth. Colleen stopped dead in her tracks and slowly turned to face him.
"What?" She finally asked after a few minutes.
"I don't know, why not? We've talked about it remember? I thought we were serious about being together."

Sonia: No, we needed to drag this out for "drama". Solution's right in her face, yet she had to whine and drag it out. *scoffs* Joy.

"Yea but not in the near future. Things changed."

Sonic: Look, I know that when stuff happens, things change. But seriously, this isn't going to cause you two to break up.
Manic: And how do you know?
Sonic: Bro, you and I both know that this is a fanfic. Drama for drama's sake.

"Exactly, so it's sooner then we planned, but I mean come on, we're both 19, I'm almost 20, it's time I move away from home anyway, start my life. My life with you."
"I don't know, but."

Amy: Oh, come on, just say yes. We know how bad fanfics like these go.

"No. No buts, this is right, I can feel it." Randy was now standing with her by the kitchen counter.
"I'm not going to be able to argue am I?" She laughed lightly.
"I highly doubt it." He joked back. "So we have a deal?"

Amy: ...that's not helping, either.
Sonic: *sarcastically* Women having thoughts and opinions? That's hogwash, Ames!

"I guess but it's only two bedrooms." She pointed out.

All: *stares at the screen*
Manic: *plays '70s porn music*
Sonia: *halts the music* No.
Manic: Aww, come on!

"We'll figure that out later. We've got a three hour drive both ways ahead of us, lets get some things for the road and get going." Randy held her hands now. "Everything is going to be okay."

Sonic: You sure? We have ten or so small chapters left. We're going to need more melodrama in a minute or two.

chapter 8

Colleen and Randy had been on the road for just over two hours. Colleen was too nervous and stressed so Randy was driving. The silence was driving them both insane, but neither knew what to say. Colleen finally decided to just turn on the radio, although it didn't make either feel much better.

Manic: Even worse was that she accidentally tuned into Rush Limbaugh's radio show.

Randy decided to go with a simple gesture, so he reached over and just held her hand. She looked over at his profile and smiled her thanks.
"Everything will work out in time, I promise. I'll always be here." Randy said keeping his eyes on the road but glancing over at her quickly.

Sonic: And then he lost control of the car and they drove into a ditch. No injuries were reported.

"I know, and you have no idea how much that means to me but what if Julie's mad at me for leaving her?"
"We won't know until we get there."

Sonia: She technically should, but since this is a fic where nobody has to work for anything...
Amy: This is ironic coming from me, but... logic? The heck is that?

In about another half an hour, the two pulled up to a small quaint house about a mile off the main road. Randy turned off the ignition and sat there for a minute.
"Are you ready?" He asked quietly.
"Yea, I guess so." She responded barely in a whisper. Randy squeezed her hand as they slowly made their way up to the front door. Randy rang the doorbell and in a few moments, a woman in her mid-thirties opened the door.
"Hi Mrs. Wilson." Colleen instantly plastered a smile on her face.

Manic: *with plaster and a trowel, notices that Sonia is looking at him* What?
Sonia: Really, little brother? You couldn't put lips on her in the style of Mrs. Potato Head?
Manic: Nah, I kind of like working a bit.

"Oh Colleen! Sweetie, it's been to long." The woman embraced Colleen. "Come in, come in."

Sonia: Wait, wait, wait, I thought Colleen was from Costa Rica. So how the hell does she know this woman?!
Manic: Because a wizard knows them, sis.

She waved her arm and stepped back to allow them to enter. "You must be Randy. I'm Mrs. Wilson, it's nice to meet you."

Amy: Is Dennis available? Is he annoying your husband again?
Sonic: *laughs*

"You to." Randy walked into the front room and looked around. Suddenly two young girls about nine ran into the room giggling. Randy instantly recognized the second one as Julie. She was of a short stature like her sister and had the same gorgeous brown hair.

Sonia: Oh, great. Now Colleen has clones of her running around like Kyo does.
Amy: To be fair, some siblings that aren't twins do look alike. But still... that's really common in fanfics, isn't it?
Sonia: Unfortunately.

Colleen dropped to her knees as her little sister charged into her arms.
"Colleen!" She cried.
"Julie, oh sweet heart I missed you so much." She held onto the little girl tightly, as if she ever let go she would evaporate.

Manic: Then you'll have to get that checked out.

When she finally did allow herself to pull away, there were tears in her eyes. She smoothed out her hair and stood up, still clutching her hand. "This is Randy, Julie." She gestured to Randy, who was standing silently in the corner.
"Hi." She blushed slightly.
"Hello." He greeted her. On closer inspection, Randy realized that Julie's eyes were a beautiful blue, instead of brown like her sister's.

Sonic: Welp, there you go. Julie's the prettier one.
Sonia: Just like how I'm the best looking triplet?
Sonic: *adjusts his neckerchief* Well, that's subjective. I mean, any guy that looks into your eyes just might turn into stone, after all.
Sonia: *pushes Sonic* Oh, shut up!
Sonic: *grins*

"Well, I'll go get her things." Mrs. Wilson announced.
"I'll help you." Randy volunteered. He followed her up the stairs while Colleen hugged Lisa, Julie's friend.
"How are you Julie, are you okay?" Colleen turned back to her worried.
"I guess, I miss daddy."

Manic: *as Julie* I miss how he slapped you around after Mommy died.
Sonic: I know... that you were trying to point out the flaw in that statement, but... that was pretty darn dark, bro.
Amy: You're going to Hell, Manic.
Manic: Yeah, Kyo can keep a seat reserved for me.
Amy: Well, he's already on the fast track there, and Miyu can only slow him down so much... so...

"I know, I miss him too. But we'll be okay. I promise. We're staying with Randy and his family. You'll like them a lot, I know you will."
"I know, I trust you. I just missed you." The tears became contagious and Julie began to cry slightly.
"I missed you too. I was so worried you'd hate at me for leaving." Colleen confessed.

Sonia: She should.

"I could never hate you Colleen, you're my sister, I have to love you. I was a little mad at first but I got over it."

Sonic: *speechless*
Manic: *stammers, facepalms*
Sonia: *explodes into ash*
Amy: *explodes into glitter*
Sonic, Manic: *stunned*
Sonic: What the heck? Ames has gone and learned Explosion, huh?
Manic: Uh... yeah. Looks like the easily solved "conflict" got to them.
Sonic: Yeah, I'm also wondering why you haven't exploded.
Manic: *as he sweeps Sonia up* You know me; water off a duck's back, bro. Well, most of the time.
Sonia: *reforms, facepalms* How?
Manic: *shrugs as he sweeps Amy up*
Amy: *reforms* That actually hurt. The "Colleen can do no wrong" garbage and the exploding hurt.
Manic: Yeah, that's why we try not to explode too much, Amy.

Randy and Lisa's mom came back down the stairs carrying Julie's bags. The four girls and Randy headed back outside and loaded up the car. Lisa and Julie hugged with promises of letters, phone calls, and emails.

Sonic: They'll never talk again. Come on, you know how these fics go.

Colleen thanked Mrs. Wilson one last time and they started their drive back to Detroit.
"Do you have any brothers or sisters?" Julie asked, breaking the silence from the back seat.
"Yes I do, two brothers. But only one at home." Randy answered.
"Cool, is he my age?"
"No, he a bit older."
"Oh." She sounded disappointed.
"But he has a Nintendo and he loves to have someone to play it with." Colleen knew her sister would like that.
"Cool!" She exclaimed. Colleen laughed at her simple enthusiasm.

Manic: Oh, you stupid kids and your Nintendo liking.
Sonia: Yeah, way to unintentionally put your sister down. Real sweet there.

chapter 9

Jill was moving about the kitchen frantically trying to prepare everything.

Sonic: And we'll probably never know what that "everything" was, because details are for losers.

Tim was standing at the counter watching his wife.
"Can I help you at all honey?" He finally asked.
"No Tim, I don't need anything blown up, not right now."

Manic: *plays a rimshot*

"Haha, very funny." Tim mock-laughed. "I'm going to pick up Mark at David's. Want me to pick up dinner on the way home?" He asked only half joking.

Sonia: No, go ahead and starve.
Sonic: And then they'll resort to cannibalism or zombiefication? Sounds great, sis!
Amy: A "Walking Dead" fanfiction... "Home Improvement".

"No I. yes please." Jill sighed deeply. She tossed her hot pot mitt down on the counter just before plopping down into the chair. Tim waved goodbye to his wife as he left out the garage door.
About a half-hour later, Tim came walking back into the house with Mark just behind him. Both were carrying two large pizza boxes.

Manic: Are the boxes edible?
Amy: Well, there's a new way to get some fiber into your system.

"Can we eat?" Mark asked setting the boxes down on the table.
"Not until they get home." Jill told him as she lightly slapped her youngest son's hand when he reached to open the top box.
"Okay, okay." Mark said defensively. "I'm going upstairs, call me when they get here kay?" He asked rhetorically as he retreated up the stairs.

Manic: Is that really a rhetorical question?
Sonia: Yes. He did ask that without expecting an immediate answer.
Sonic, Manic: *gasps*
Sonia: I know, I know. It's shocking, too.

Randy drove up and parked the car inside the garage next to his father's. At least that meant someone was home.

Amy: Unless he took the bus for no reason, then yeah, he's home.

Colleen climbed out the passenger's side door and open the door behind her own. Julie was fast asleep, completely unaware they had arrived at their destination.

Sonic: Well, dur-hay! She's asleep, for heaven's sake!

As gently as she could, Colleen scooped up her little sister and began to walk to the door. Randy walked ahead of her and opened the door for them. Jill and Tim were sitting on the couch watching the news.

Manic: Yeah, because this gal's life wasn't depressing enough, they had to watch the news to boot.
Sonia: Hope there's not a live report involving Kyo burning Sues alive.
Amy: I'm just hoping that he doesn't invite Mr. Kusanagi's super angry clone to come along with him... *shudders*

They both turned when they heard the door.
"It's about time." Tim complained but he was smiling anyway. Jill hugged her son as he approached them. Colleen brought Julie over and placed her on the couch. She then proceeded to wake her from her gentle sleep.
"Hmm?" The little one murmured. "Where are we?"

Sonic: Hell.
Amy: No, that's where we are, Sonic.
Sonia: Ironically, there is a Hell, Michigan.
Manic: And it did freeze over once!

"We're here Julie. There's some people here who want to meet you." Colleen informed her. "This is Jill, Randy's mom and Tim, his dad."
"Hi." Julie said meekly.
"Hello Julie, it's nice too meet you." Jill greeted her warmly.
"How about some pizza? You guys hungry?" Tim asked as his stomach made it's presence know rather loudly.

Manic: Because, you know, all we guys ever do is eat and make sexist jokes.
Sonia: I don't know any guys like that.
Manic: That's because you beat them up when they try to touch you without your permission, sis.
Amy: All of them?
Manic: No, just the slimy ones.
Amy: Oh.

"Yea I'm starving. Where's Mark?" Randy asked.

Sonic: May wanna get started on that "Walking Dead" fanfic, Ames.
Amy: *laughs*

"Oh he's upstairs in his room. Would you go get him?" Jill asked getting plates out for everyone.
"Sure." Randy replied as he took the stairs three at a time. Everyone else began to open the pizzas and grab a slice. Soon the four Taylors, Julie and Colleen were sitting around, eating pizza and joking with each other.

Sonia: *bored* This is absolutely thrilling.
Sonic: *while playing with the sports tape on his arms* Yeah, you're tellin' me.

It soon became late and Julie was already half asleep. Colleen took her upstairs and tucked her into the bed she had been using. A short time later, everyone else decided to go to bed. Colleen grabbed a blanket and a couple pillows and began to get the couch ready to sleep in.
"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Randy asked for about the fifth time.
"Yes. I don't mind the couch." She rolled her eyes at him.

Amy: Yeah, how dare he be concerned about your well-being!
Manic: Well, she's really got some bratty tendencies, doesn't she?
Sonia: They all do, Manic.

"Well, if you can't sleep, just come down and get me." He pecked her on the cheek before heading downstairs to his room in the basement.

Sonic: Calling it, she's joining him in the basement.
Amy: *puts a hot dog into a bun*
Sonia: *raises an eyebrow*
Manic: *stifles his laughter*
Sonic: Amy, no! They're not going to do that!
Amy: *puts chili on the hot dog*
Sonic: Yeah, um... you're giving that to me, right?
Amy: Maybe.
Manic: *laughs*
Sonia: Oh, wonderful. Manic's going to have fun with those double entendres for the rest of the day now...

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