Mystery Science Theater En Masse: Movie Squares

Super Special 2: Sabrina's Adventure 3: The Sapphire Quest (Part Five)

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Note: The Neo Esaka are the main riffers for this part.

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5. Sabrina's Past,Sabre's Power

Somewhere in the forest,Sapphire,Sakura,and Speedy were tied up in vines by Sabre and Sabretooth.

Keiko: "Somewhere"? It's probably the same location that has the dumb campfire.

"Well,look what we have here,a bunch of brats trying to stop me from ruling the world."

Kyo K.: Kicking over a swing set doesn't count as "ruling the world".

Sapphire was struggling to break free from the vines,but no avail,she gave up. "Let us go,Sabre!" Sabre chuckled,Sabretooth walked over to them and slapped Sapphire's face,she didn't scream,she just sat there silent.

Emi: *takes out a checklist* Hmm. We're really working on every tired evil cliché in the book, aren't we...?
Benimaru: Maybe he needs a copy of the Evil Overlord List. He's already violated Rule 18.
Emi: Oh? What does that say?
Benimaru: *reads* "I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time."
Emi: Did you ask for a copy from Mr. Daniels?
Benimaru: You know I did. Though... I doubt that Sabretooth would even try to usurp him. Worst case scenario is that Sabre would have one more enemy to deal with... after backstabbing his own son.
Emi: Do you really think that he would do that, Nikaido-san?
Benimaru: It's like you said earlier. He's working on every tired evil cliché.

"Well,we have a brave one here." Sapphire tried to break free again,but it was no use.

Kyo K.: Why don't you use your powers to break free? Oh, right... you conveniently forgot about them, huh?

"Sabretooth,I know about your past!" Sabretooth became confused. He backed away and sat down by Sabre.

Keiko: Yes, say that in earshot of his father so he can circumvent everything. *facepalms* Bakamono...

Sabre stood up and walked over to the three helpless teens,he made an evil grin. "It seems your friends are coming."

Emi: Parents. You mean their parents. And one of them's your own sister.

Sabre suddenly picked up the tied up Sapphire and carried her to the fire. "Put me down,Sabre! I mean it!" Sabre grinned,he had a tree branch hanging over the fire,he jumped up the tree and onto the hanging branch. "No,put me down,now!" Sabre didn't listen he pulled down some thick vines from a higher branch,he held Sapphire by the extra vines and let her hang from the branch. Sapphire started screaming,the heat from the fire was hurting her. "AHHHH!! Stop!"

Kyo L.: Look, as much as I love making jokes about roasting bad characters... number one, Sapphire hasn't done much to get on my nerves yet. Number two... she's your niece! What the hell, man?!
Kyo K.: Someone's gotta be the evil one in this thing. I thought you guys used to like him.
Kyo L.: Yeah, that was before we found out that he raped someone.

He still didn't listen,he tied the vines to her wrists,he tied the other ends to the hanging branch,Sabre grinned evily and jumped down to the ground. Sapphire was hanging over a fire,she was screaming in pain and fear. Sabre walked over to Sakura,who was also tied up. He picked her up. "No! Let me go,Sabre! Put me down!" Sabre grinned. He jumped up to the hanging branch and tied her up next to Sapphire,she was hanging over the fire,she was getting burnt from the extreme heat below her. Sabre grinned and jumped down,he next grabbed Speedy,he was also tied up in the vines. "Let me go,you freak!" Sabre growled. he jumped up to the branch and tied him up.Sabretooth caught a sound,he stood up. "Father,they're here!" Sabre grinned. "Let them come,they will have a warm welcome when they do."

Kyo L., Kyo K., Emi: *stares at the screen*
Emi: *pulls out a megaphone, speaks* Get off the stage this instant.

Suddenly,a yellow blur ran into the area,it stopped and revealed Shadow. "Sabre,I finally found you,where are our kids?"

Keiko: Roasting like chestnuts... over an open fire... will you morons just look at the stupid fire?!

Shadow looked up and saw Sapphire,Sakura,and Speedy hanging over the fire,knocked out from the extreme heat. Shadow gasped and backed away. "You sick fool!" Sabre grinned.

Benimaru: Oh, just say it. We need parallels to the writer's old fics. Not like we have enough of those already...

Suddenly,a blue blur and a yellow blur ran in and stopped,it was Sonic and Sabrina. "Alright Sabre,where's Sapphire?"

Kyo L., Kyo K., Emi: *ignites their own flames*
Kyo K.: Seriously, if they can't see that stuff, they might need to get their eyes checked.

sabre smiled and pointed behind him,Sabrina gasped as she the kids hanging unconsious over the fire. "No! Sapphire!" She growled at Sabre. Sabretooth stepped up. "You like what you see?" Sabrina and Shadow were about to attack him,but Sabretooth backed away towards Sabre. "If you touch me or my son,your little kiddies might get burned,to death!" Sabrina gasped and backed away with Shadow and Sonic. Tails and Christina ran in and gasped. "What are you doing with my Sakura?!"

Keiko: We're definitely stretching it with the Sabrenagi and stupidity jokes, aren't we...?
Emi: I'm starting to wonder if we're running out of riffs already.
Keiko: Too early to wonder.
Kyo K.: It's amazing. I'm literally surprised that the guys knew where to stick it in to make their own damn kids.

Sabre stepped up and stood in front of Sabrina,she snarled at him. "What do you want,Sabre?" Sabre grinned. "Your emerald is what I want,and I'm not leaving without them,this time,I want both of them!" Sabruna suddenly lunged at him,but Sabre moved out of the way. "No you don't,if you even harm me,your kids will suffer! Give me the emerald,or else!"

Kyo K.: She has one kid, jackass.

Sabrina backed away,she closed her eyes and thought. "If I give him my emerald,he'll become super powerful,

Benimaru: ...and destroy more playgrounds...

but I don't want to lose my Sapphire,she means the whole world to me and Shadow.

Kyo K.: Yeah, too bad you're not making an attempt to rescue her with your broken Chaos powers right now.

Shadow would never let me give him the emerald,but he doesn't want to lose Sapphire either.I have to talk to him about this!"

Emi: What the?! No, you don't!

Sabrina sighed deeply and walked up to Sabre. "Sabre,you win." Everyone gasped.

Tails: *as himself, chokes, falls over*

Sabre grinned evily.Shadow ran to her. "Sabrina,what are you doing?!" Sabrina sighed. "Shadow, I'm sorry,but I have no other choice.I have to give him my emerald.

Emi: No, you really don't! You could've just faked him out and used your powers!
Keiko: The heroes aren't supposed to be pragmatic... which is insanely ridiculous.

I don't want to lose Sapphire,and you don't want to lose her either." Shadow sighed and hugged her tightly. "I understand,do what you have to do." Shadow let go of her and walked up to Sabre. "Fine,we'll give you the emerald,if you promise to release our children."

Benimaru: If you're expecting him to hold up his half of the bargain, there is something very wrong with you.

Sabre smiled. "Good,the emerald if you please." He held his hand in front of Sabrina. Sabrina backed away and held her hands in front of her body,she started glowing black,the emerald appeared in front of her and dropped into her hands. She slowly handed it to Sabre,he took it out of her hand and laughed evily.

Cassy: Remember, that thing is her heart. She's supposed to die now.
Jessie: Cassy, did you forget? She lost her broken Sue toy in the last fic and only lost her powers for about six minutes. Don't be surprised if the same stuff happens here.

"Finally,the emerald is mine once more! Now I just need the rainbow emerald,you,fox girl,give me your emerald!" Christina backed away. "No,never!" Sabre grinned,he put the black emerald inside of him,he started glowing black with rage. His eyes were glowing red,he stepped up to her. "You foolish weaklings,give me that rainbow emerald,or your kids will crash and burn!"

Keiko: Or just burn. Whatever.

Christina was so confused.

Kyo K.: Hey, don't worry. I'm confused, too.

She started thinking for a moment,she soon started crying and fell to the ground. Tails helped her get up. "Tails,I have to do it,it's the only way we can save Sakura,I'm so sorry!" Tails hugged her,Christina hugged back,they seperated. Tails backed away as Christina slowly walked over to Sabre. "Okay,I'll give you the emerald." Sabre grinned and held his hand out. Christina put her hands in front of her,her body started glowing multiple colors.The rainbow chaos emerald appeared in front of her and dropped into her hands. Christina slowly held the muti-colored gem to Sabre's waiting hand,he took it out of her hand.

Benimaru: Copy. Paste. Find. Replace.

"Yes! At last,I have both of the lengendary elemental emeralds,now nobody can stop me!" Sonic stepped up. "Okay,you have the emeralds,now give us our kids!"

Emi: *as Sabre, laughs, suddenly stops* Yeah, about that... I lied, homes!
Axl: *stunned* Wait, what?
Kyo L.: *laughs loudly*
Axl: No, really, I never expected her to say that.
Kyo L.: That's why it's great, Ax!
Akiko: Uh... what's gotten into Emes lately?
Tomoko: Riffing a lot of crap will do that to you, Miyadama.

Sabre absorbed the rainbow emerald,it went into his body,a bright flash appeared,blinding everyone,the bright light disappeared,everyone opened their eyes. Everyone,including Sabretooth gasped at what they saw. Sabre was flying in the air,his quills were pointing in all directions,his nails were now long sharp talons,his red eyes were now glowing white,a multi-color ball was surrounding him.

Benimaru: Okay, so he's now a raptor.
Keiko: Hit him with a meteor so we can all go home.

He laughed evily,his voice was deep,dark,and cold. "You know what,I changed my mind about sparing your lives,I will just destroy you all!"

Kyo K.: *sarcastically claps* Bravo. Of course everyone who doesn't have a railroad spike in their heads knew that this dumb "plot twist" was coming.

He started flying in the air after Sonic,he was hit by a powerful punch,he flew into a tree,it snapped in half as he hit it. Sonic fell to the ground,slowly getting back up. Sabrina charged at Sabre,but without her emerald,she can't run at supersonic speeds.

Cassy: Also, she should be dead.
Keiko: Bring me up to speed on this. I would like to hear all of it.
Cassy: Sure thing, dude. Now... Sabrina Sue doesn't have a beating heart. She has that emerald in place of it. So you know that's dumb. Anyway, the first fic said that she would die if it was taken out of her.
Kyo L.: She used it, became a damn monument, and then she broke out of it a decade later.
James: Then in the second fic, Sabrenagi yanked it out of her, and she was weak for like five seconds.
Mai: And then Knuckles defeated him via an incantation, restored her little trinket... and she promptly stole the credit for defeating him.
Kyo K.: Great. Fantastic. So just get the damn echidna in here so this crap can end, then.
Benimaru: *bored* We need padding before we can get to that, Kyo.

Shadow grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "Let me go,Shadow! Sabre lied to us,he will not get away!" Shadow kept pulling her. "No,you can't get near him without your emerald,he'll kill you!" Sabrina stopped struggling.

Kyo L.: Throw her in! She'll get some ass pulling powers from that!

Sabretooth walked over by Sabre. "Now nobody can stop us,father. Together we shall rule the world!" Sabre grinned. "What do you mean,we?" Sabretooth gasped and backed away. "Y-You betrayed me!" Sabre grinned evily and punched Sabretooth,he flew into a tree and fell to the ground. "I only made you so you can help get these emeralds,we never had a deal about ruling together,there is only one ruler!" Sabre laughed evily.

Benimaru: *snaps his fingers* And there it is.
Emi: You waited for fifteen years to do that? You could've done all of that without raping a woman, you know.
Keiko: *halfheartedly waves her hands* He has to be evil, big sister.

Sapphire was slowly coming to,she opened her eyes and saw a raging fire below her,she saw Sakura and Speedy next to her,they were still unconsious from the extreme heat,she started nudging them,they both started moving,Sakura and Speedy opened their eyes. "Ahh,were over a fire! Sombody get us down!"

Kyo K.: *sarcastically claps* Glad you noticed, you damn dunces.

They saw Sabre,he was glowing brightly. "No. He got the emeralds!"

Emi: What was your first clue? Also, who said that?

Sabre heard them and grinned. "Let's turn up the heat for our little pests!" He held his hand out and clenched it,the fire suddenly grew higher,closing in on the children. Suddenly,the ends of the hanging branch caught on fire,the kids started screaming from the extreme heat of the raging flames.

Kyo L.: Just cook them. I don't care now. Fic's boring as fuck.
James: Everyone's got the personality of tissue paper that's been pissed on.
Kyo L.: If only they would all burn like tissue paper.

Sabrina ran to them,but the fire suddenly lunged at her,she jumped away. "Sapphire!" She looked at Sabre,he was using his chaos powers to control the fire.

All: *with dunce caps on their heads* Duh!

Suddenly,the branch started breaking off,they all screamed. "Mom,help us!" Sabrina tried to jump up to the branch,but she was too weak. Suddenly the branch snapped off,dropping the three teens into the flames,but before they hit the flames,a yellow blur jumped in and grabbed them,it landed away from the fire with the children in his arms. The blur turned around and revealed Sabretooth. He put the three teens down and untied them.

Benimaru: And Sabre's worst case scenario has now arrived.

Sabre saw him and gasped. "How dare you rescue those brats!"

Kyo K.: Yeah, I think that backstabbing him had something to do with it, you two-bit Snidely Whiplash.

He growled and ran at his son,but Sabretooth jumped out of the way. Sapphire and the others stood up,rubbing their wrists. "Sabretooth,you saved our lives,why?" Sabretooth walked to them.

Keiko: I know that you were unconscious, but we weren't.

"My father betrayed me,he used me! Now look what I did,I made him the most powerful being in the world,only to be thrown out like a useless thing! What have I done?"

Benimaru: Exist against your will?
Emi: So now he's no longer the one-note son. He's going to have the "Good is Dumb" trait now.
Keiko: Great. He's going to be a one-note version of that Howard kid now.
Emi: He never went evil.
Keiko: True. But they both hate their fathers now.

Sapphire growled and ran after Sabre. "You are going to pay for this,Sabre!" Sabre saw them and flew at them,he landed on the ground in front of them. He lunged a fist at her,but she moved out of the way. Sabre growled. He lunged another fist at her using his chaos powers and at light speed,Sapphire was caught off guard as her punched her very hard.She flew at the others,Sabretooth ran and grabbed her before she nearly hit a tree. "Are you okay?" Sapphire nodded. Sabretooth ran at Sabre at supersonic speed and punched him,but he actually punched Sabre's energy barrier. Sabretooth gasped and backed away. Sabre didn't move,he grinned evily and dashed at Sabrina. Sapphire ran after him. "Mom,look out!" But it was too late,Sabrina saw him and tried to run away,but she was too slow,Sabre punched her.She flew in the air,Shadow jumped up and caught her,he gently set her on the ground.She was seriously hurt. "Sabrina,are you okay?" There was no response,Sapphire ran to her while Sabretooth fought Sabre. "Mom!" She kneeled down beside her mother.

Kyo K.: Basically, this whole damn paragraph can be summed up as "Sabre trashes everyone".

Sabrina slowly started moving. "Sapphire...use..your...powers." She closed her eyes,Shadow looked at Sapphire. "Sapphire,use your chaos powers,you still have them,you can use them to heal her!" Sapphire nodded and put her hand on Sabrina's hand,her hand started glowing black. The black arora started spreading to her mother's body,it was now covering her completely.Soon,the dark arora faded away,Sapphire removed her hand and backed away. Shadow sat next to her. "Sabrina?" Sabrina's fingers started to move,she opened her eyes. "Shadow?" Shadow smiled,Sabrina sat up and looked around,she saw Sapphire,she ran up to her. "Mom,you're okay!"

Emi: Of course she's okay. Her name's in the title.

Sabrina smiled and hugged her. "You saved my life,Sapphire.You're a miracle to us."

Keiko: You mortal miracle.

She let go of her and stood up,Shadow walked up hugged her. "You okay,Sabrina?" Sabrina nodded and walked towards the fight.

Kyo K.: She's going to get herself nuked, isn't she?
Keiko: I hope so. I want to get out of here.

Sabre was still fighting Sabretooth. "You are going to pay for this,father!" Sabre grinned and kicked him,he flew in the air,but landed on his feet. Sabre suddenly held his hand out,a small white ball formed in it,it started growing larger. "Take this!" The white ball,now the size of a baseball,shot out of his hand at Sabretooth. Sabretooth jumped out of the way,it flew at a large rock,the ball hit it,a bright flash surrounded the rock,when the flash faded away,the rock was gone. Shadow gasped. "He's using chaos control!" Sabre grinned. "I'm surprised that you know of this,Shadow. Looks like you will be the first to try it!"

Emi: He knew about it for the past... what, seventy-five years at most?

He started firing chaos conrtol beams at him,Shadow kept jumping out of the way. After about five more shots,Sabre suddenly shot a beam at Sabrina. Sabrina didn't see the beam until it was right next to her. "What,no!" The beam hit her,a bright flash appeared around her,the flash faded away with her.She was gone.

Kyo K.: Pay me.
Benimaru: I never thought I'd see the day where a Mary Sue gets herself killed due to her own stupidity. I thought that they had immunity from that sort of stuff.

Shadow looked around,he didn't see her anywhere. "Sabrina!" There was no answer,he fell to the ground,he looked up at Sabre. "Ha ha! Now that I have gotten rid of my sister,that leaves only you pathetic weaklings for me to eliminate!" He suddenly flew at Sonic. Sonic jumped out of the way and did his windmill attack. Sabre wasn't hit,the attack only hit his energy barrier.Sabre laughed evily. "Don't you understand,I am invincible,nobody can touch me,but I can crush you!"

Sonic: Is this Dusk... part eighty-seven or something?
Amy: *groans in frustration*

He punched Sonic very hard,he flew at Sabretooth, the yellow hedgehog caught him and put Sonic down. Sonic grinned. "Thanks,buddy." Shadow walked up to them. "Sonic,we need to think of a plan to stop Sabre,we also need to look for Sabrina." Sonic nodded. "Tails,Christina,Amy,let's get out of here!" They all nodded and ran to the three hedgehogs.

Keiko: I guess those three are just ornaments now.

Shadow clenched his fists. "Chaos control!" A bright light surrounded them,then they all vanished. Sabre grinned evily and landed on the ground,the white arora disappeared,his eyes were back to normal,his spines were still sticking out. "That takes care of them,for now!" Sabre laughed evily,then he tensed back up to his powerful form and flew away into the sky at light speed. "Now,I shall destroy every building on this pathetic planet,soon,I will crush this planet into tiny little pieces!" He vanished into thin air.

Kyo K.: Watch out, he's going to destroy a second playground now! Oh, wait! He might trash a third one, too!

In the Mystic Ruins jungle,Sabrina was laying on the ground,she opened her eyes and sat up. "What happened? Where am I?"

Kyo L.: Damn it! She ain't in Hell!
Miyu: She's not even the worst Sue that we've dealt with. She's pretty much one of the dumbest ones.
Kyo L.: Which makes her one of the worst ones.

She rubbed her head,then she suddenly saw a red figure walking in the forest,it started running towars her. "Sapphire!" Sabrina recognized the voice,it was Knuckles,still searching for the kids. Sabrina stood up and waved to him. "Hey Knuckles!" Knuckles stopped in front of her. "Sabrina,what are you doing here?" Sabrina walked around and growled. "Knuckles,Sabre got the two emeralds! He sent me here using chaos control!" Knuckles gasped and growled. "He got the elemental emeralds?!" Sabrina sighed and nodded. "He is too powerful,we found the kids there on the island,too,so you can stop searching." Knuckles sighed in relief. "Good,but where are the others?" Sabrina stopped walking. "They're on Paradise Island fighting Sabre.I have to get back to them as soon as possible!" Knuckles nodded. "Go to the island and find the others,I'll go back to Angel Island and watch the Master Emerald." Sabrina sighed. "I can't, I lost my powers when Sabre got my emerald,I can't run,swim,or use chaos control."

Cassy: Your dumb ass shouldn't be talking, breathing, or living. Oh, well. Whatever, dude. You do you.
Kyo L.: You can't swim? Well, you have gills. Use 'em.
Cassy: Or sign up for some swimming lessons at the nearest community pool.

Knuckles thought for a moment. "Come to Angel Island with me,you can stay for now until I find a way for you to get back to Paradise Island." Sabrina nodded and followed him through the jungle.

Benimaru: He couldn't use the Master Emerald to teleport her? Oh, wait, there's another idea... ferries exist. Use those.
Tails: The Tornado doesn't exist. Regular transportation methods are a myth for some reason.

In Station Square,Sonic and the others appeared inside the house. "Whoo,that was too close,we almost got killed out there!" Sabretooth looked around. "Wow,I have never been inside a house before.It's huge!" Sonic chuckled. "You wanna help us stop Sabre,we need all the help we can get!" Sabretooth grinned and shook Sonic's hand. "I'll do anything to stop that traitor!" Sonic smiled. "Welcome to the team,Sabretooth!" Everyone except Shadow cheered. "Hmph,I don't trust that kid,he could be setting us up!"

Emi: Yes, let's sow doubt out loud instead of talking in private. *sarcastically claps* Genius.

Sonic elbowed him slightly. "Relax Shadow,he said he wants to stop Sabre,chill out!" Tails walked over and turned on the tv. A news channel was on. "We interrupt this broadcast for a late breaking story. Just a few moments ago,a mysterious yellow hedgehog has just attacked the G.U.N military facility,the suspect was identified as the famous hero legend,Sabrina Hedgehog.

All: ...
Sonic: *claps loudly* It begins again!
Benimaru: Uh... Sabre laughs maniacally when he destroys things. How did you come to the conclusion of a female hedgehog when the laugh would obviously come from a male hedgehog?
Akiko: That... that's just... oh, this is dumb! Why is everyone so dumb?!
Jayleen: *sighs while rubbing her temples* Do not tell me that the populace has the collective intelligence quotient of a raw potato.
Jessie: Everyone's dumb in this series. The protagonists, the antagonists, everyone.
Jayleen: At this rate, I would welcome the heat death of the planet with great vigor.

The suspect was seen flying through the sky,firing beams at the facility,destroying everything in it's path,there were no survivors found,police and all other military facilities have been notified to attack the suspect.Stay tuned for more details." Everyone gasped. "No! Sabre's already on the move!" Shadow stepped up. "We can't leave,we still have to come up with a plan,and we need to find Sabrina!" Everyone nodded.

Benimaru: The plan? Let more people die. That sounds like a good plan.

Sonic stepped up. "Shadow's right,we need to figure a plan,Shadow,you can go out and look for Sabrina." Everyone nodded.

Keiko: If they nodded any more, their heads would snap off.

Shadow ran out the front door and ran through the city. Sonic turned around. "Okay,people,any ideas?" Speedy raised his hand. "Okay,son,what do you have?" Speedy stood up. "I say we go out there and pound him until he gives up!"

Akiko: Lewd!
Tails: *as he attempts to keep a straight face* In what universe is this a good idea? *chuckles* Wow. Just... wow.

Sonic shook his head,Speedy sat down. Tails raised his hand. "Yeah Tails?" Tails stood up. "How about we build some kind of giant robot,maybe we can use it to stop Sabre." Sonic shook his head. Tails sat down. Sapphire raised her hand. "You have a plan,Sapphire?" Sapphire nodded and stood up. "What about the chaos emeralds? Sabre doesn't have them,we already have one,how about we use them to try to stop Sabre,they should be equally as powerful as those elemental emeralds." Sonic thought for a moment. "Yeah,awesome plan,Sapphire!"

Keiko: Of course everyone has to be dumb just to make the Sue spawn the smart one. I give up. Why am I here?
Kyo K.: Because this crap's twenty-three chapters long.

Sabretooth stood up. "What are chaos emeralds?" Sapphire walked up to him. "They are seven beautiful gems that hold special powers like Sabre's emeralds,they come in seven different colors.They are not as powerful alone,but when all seven are put together,it should be as powerful as one of Sabre's emeralds!"

Emi: You didn't have to walk to him to tell him. Why is everyone so robotic in this thing?

Sabretooth smiled. "Okay,I get it!"

Benimaru: ...even though getting those dumb trinkets were your father's plan all along. How in the world did you forget what they were? *facepalms, sighs* Never mind...

Sonic walked around,Tails pulled out the green chaos emerald he found. "So far we have one emerald,just six more to go!" Sonic took the emerald and put it away.

Keiko: He doesn't have pockets. How did he store that?
Sonic: We're not going there today!

"Yeah,let's get cracking,there's no more time to lose!" Everyone nodded and ran out the door,Sonic grabbed a paper and pen and wrote a note,he put the note on the front door and ran to the others.

Kyo K.: Fifty bucks says that Sabre reads it.

On Angel Island,Knuckles was guarding the Master Emerald while Sabrina was sitting on the edge of the floating island. Knuckles was sleeping next to the giant green emerald. Sabrina looked into the sky,it was getting dark,stars were showing,one zipped across the sky,it soon disappeared.

Benimaru: That was everyone's sanity going by.

Sabrina sighed. "I hope everyone's okay." It was now completely dark,there were many stars in the sky,Sabrina sighed and stood up,she walked over to the altar and walked up the stairs.She saw the Master Emerald glowing a brilliant green,she slowly put her hand on the emerald,it glowed even brighter,she suddenly heard a voice. "Help me..."

Manic: We're going to talk to a bootleg version of Tikal next, huh?

Sabrina took her hand off the emerald and backed away. Suddenly,the Master Emerald glowed brighter than ever,blinding Sabrina,the glow faded away. Sabrina opened her eyes and noticed she wasn't on Angel Island,it looked like an ancient village. "Where am I?" She looked around,she saw people walking through the village,she looked closer,they were all echidnas.

Sonic: Sonicbrina's Adventure: Cut and Paste.
Tails: And some of the pieces are missing or just plain eaten.

Sabrina started running to the village at a slow speed. After a few moments,she arrived at the edge of the village,there were echidnas walking around,not noticing her,she walked in slowly. The echidnas wore tribe-like clothes,face marks,and each held a spear.Sabrina slowly walked through the quiet village,she saw many huts,in front of her was a giant temple,higher than any other structure around,she walked around it,after a few minutes,she saw a stone door,she slowly opened it and walked through to a grassy cliff,there was a structure at the edge of it. She started running to it,after a couple of minutes,she arrived to it,it looked very familiar. "Is that the altar?" She slowly walked up the stone stairs and got to the top,she saw the Master Emerald sitting there,untouched.

Sonic, Amy, Tails: *bored*
Amy: We've been here before.

Suddenly,she heard a female voice behind her. "This is the Master Emerald shrine." Sabrina quickly turned around and saw a female black hedgehog with very long quills reaching to her feet,a light blue dress,small golden rings on her quills,blue eyes,and a golden necklace around her neck.

Emi: I don't think quills are supposed to work like that.
Cassy: They do in this crap, dude.

Sabrina backed away. The black hedgehog stepped up to her. "Do not be frightened,I am Obsidian,guardian of the black elemental emerald." Sabrina stopped. "Guardian of the black emerald?" Obsidian nodded. "Yes.I am the one who created this powerful gem,it's power is unlike any other."

Kyo L.: So you're the one who made that broken trinket, huh?
Kyo K.: And she'll probably have a one-note personality like everyone else.

Sabrina was about to speak,suddenly,everything faded away in a flash of bright light.She soon found herself back on Angel Island. "Hey,Sabrina,snap out of it!" Knuckles was waving his hand in front of her.

Keiko: Did the Master Emerald serve as your alarm clock?

Sabrina realized this and came back to reality.

Kyo K.: Reality? *snickers* Yeah, okay.

"Wha--what happened?" Knuckles backed away. "I saw you just standing here when I woke up,are you feeling okay?" Sabrina rubbed her head and started walking around. "Yeah,I think I'll be okay." She looked around,it was morning. She walked up to the altar,she put her hand on the Master Emerald,nothing happened.

Benimaru: Much like the plot to this fic so far.
Emi: Well, things did happen. They just happened to be dumb things.

Sabrina took her hand off and sighed. She suddenly heard someone calling her,she turned around. "Sabrina!" She recognized the voice,she saw Shadow on the wooden bridge running onto the island. Sabrina jumped down from the altar and ran to him. "Shadow!" Shadow saw her and ran faster to the island. Shadow got on the island and stood there. Sabrina was running to him,she jumped into his arms,they both fell to the ground. They both kissed each other on the lips several times before they both stood up. "Shadow,I missed you so much,I though I'd never find you!" Shadow hugged her tightly. "I missed you too,Sabrina!"

Keiko: You were only separated for like... half a day. It didn't need this sappy nonsense.

Knuckles walked up to them and chuckled. "It seems love will never break them apart." He walked to them. "Hey Shadow,glad you found Sabrina." Shadow smiled. "No, I'm glad you found her for me,otherwise I would never get her back,thank you." Knuckles smiled. "It was my duty,at first,I though she was Sapphire. Sabrina was acting strange though,she said that she was just fine." Shadow smiled and stepped up.

Kyo K.: *forces himself to smile*
Keiko: Now that's just creepy. You look like your clone.

"Did she tell you about Sabre? He has both of the emeralds,Sonic and the others are thinking of a plan to stop him." Knuckles nodded.

Kyo K., Benimaru, Emi, Keiko: *nods*
Emi: Now if only they could stop repeating everything that we've seen up to this point, everything would be fine.
Benimaru: The magic of useless padding starts again.

"Yeah,she told me when I found her,I wish I could help,but I have to guard the Master Emerald."

Kyo K.: You were wandering around a forest like five giant text block paragraphs ago. I'm calling bullshit.

Sabrina walked up to the Master Emerald,she put her hand on it,it glowed brightly,suddenly,an idea came to her mind. "Hey Knuckles,come here!" Knuckles stopped talking to Shadow and ran to the altar. "Knuckles,you said that the elemental emeralds are as powerful as the controller itself,right?" Knuckles nodded.

Emi: I see that its power fluctuates... probably.

"Well,what if you could sent the emerald's energy to me,that way I could help stop Sabre." Knuckles got enraged. "ARE YOU THAT SERIOUS?! I am able to do that,but it will be risking the Master Emerald being stolen like the others,besides,it's only half as powerful as him!"

Emi: *reads through Miyu's notes* You'll risk it being stolen again.

Sabrina sighed. "Knuckles,you're right.I don't deserve to be a guardian,I'm too careless,

Benimaru: That much is obvious.

I know there is someone out there who may be a much better guardian than me. If I wasn't here,none of this would've happened,this is all my fault,it's all my fault!" Shadow walked over to her and hugged her,but she pulled away. "Shadow,I need to say goodbye. If I destroy myself,then the black emerald's power and my spirit will return to the Master Emerald where it belongs."

Keiko: That makes... zero sense. What kind of logic would that entail? Who in this audience would cheer for your demise?
Kyo L., Miyu, Jessie, Cassy: *applauds*
Keiko: ...aside from them, of course.

Knuckles stepped up. "You're right,but we don't want you to leave.

Jessie: Yes, we do!

We all care about you,we would never let you down." Sabrina sighed and started walking on the bridge. "Shadow,I love you,tell Sapphire that I will miss her,tell the others that I had a really great time with you all and I will never forget them." Shadow put his hand on her shoulder. Sabrina stopped walking and turned around. Shadow leaned in and kissed her,she kissed back,but then she pulled away and continued walking. Shadow had a tear in his eyes,

Everyone except Miyu: *looks at Miyu*
Miyu: Who littered?

he didn't follow her,he let her go. "Do as you wish,Sabrina."

Kyo L.: Yeah, just let your wife go on and off herself. True love.
Benimaru: It's like trying to cut off a tumor... and then the remainder grows twice as fast as the first one.

Sabrina walked to the other side of the bridge,she stopped walking and clenched her fists,she started glowing white on her whole body. She started glowing brighter,and brighter,she was feeling alot of pain,but she didn't scream. "Shadow,this is for the best of you guys,I will rid the world of the black emerald so the world will be at peace once more." A ball of white light surrounded her,a beam of white light came out of the sky and touched her,another white beam came down onto the Master Emerald. Sabrina's body was starting to disappear in the bright beam,her whole body was consumed in the giant energy beam,the beam started to fade away into the Master Emerald. Shadow and Knuckles ran to the giant emerald,it was glowing very brightly,soon,the green emerald stopped glowing. Sabrina's voice started to come out of the emerald. "Thank you. The black emerald's power is no longer in Sabre's posession.You are all safe." Shadow smiled. "I will miss you,Sabrina." He walked off the altar and left the island.

Emi: I'm sure that a certain group should be cheering right now.
Cassy: Trust us, we would. But she came back from the dead before.
Miyu: And her name's in the title. She'll probably return in the sixth or seventh chapter.

Somewhere near Station Square,Sabre was quickly making his way to the city. "This city looks good enough to destroy,I'll try a new trick!" He held both of his hands out,a small black ball started growing,it grew larger each second until it was the size of himself,he laughed evily,suddenly,the dark ball vanished. "What! What's happening?" Suddenly,he felt pain,he saw something coming out of him,it was the black chaos emerald.

Keiko: Congratulations. What would you like to name the gem?

"What,no! The black emerald is leaving me!" He tried to grab it,but it suddenly moves away from him into the sky. "Get back here!" He suddenly started falling. "Shoot!

Kyo K.: Aww. You were this close to being edgy.
Benimaru: Sure, he raped someone and got her pregnant, but cursing? We can't have that here!

Without the black emerald's power combined with the rainbow emerald,I can't fly! That red echidna,he did this,I'll go pay him a little visit!" He safely landed on the ground and ran into Station Square.

Keiko: Unfortunately, he didn't land with a thud.
Emi: Every plotline in this story will end with a resounding thud. Making a bunch of one-note characters land with a thud would be a bit too much, I guess.
Keiko: They go to the beach every day. It's already a bit too much.

Over in Station Square,Sonic was searching for chaos emeralds,he was on top of the tallest skyscraper,looking around.

Tails: Oh. Okay. I guess the homemade detector that I created was just a prop as well, huh? *mutters as he restarts his Miles Electric* The things I do for you... I swear, it's like you all hit your heads and forgot that I made these things...
Akiko: Why is he even on the top of a skyscraper? Aren't those things usually buried in the ground?
Tails: Stop using logic, Akiko.

"Wow,what a view!" He suddenly saw a small object flying at him,he looked closer.

Benimaru: Ah, so the martians are real. Well, it looks like we're all going to be annihilated.
Kyo K.: Sounds better than reading the rest of this stuff.

"Is that...Sabrina's chaos emerald?" The emerald was close to him,he jumped up high and grabbed the black gem,he landed safely on the skyscraper. "Wonder how it got here,I thought Sabre had it!" He looked at it,it was glowing very brightly.Suddenly the black gem grew very bright,blinging him. "What the--" He soon

Emi: ...fell off of the skyscraper to certain doom.

found himself in an ancient village. "Where am I?" He looked around,he was on some kind of cliff,there was a structure on the edge of it.Sonic started running to it,after a few seconds,he arrived,it looked like the altar of the Master Emerald. "Whoa!" He saw the seven chaos emeralds in their proper places,laying on top of seven pillars,he saw a familiar object,a giant green emerald. Suddenly,he saw someone approaching him,he hid behind the Master Emerald.

Sonic: Wait, why would I do that? I've been to a place like that before, so I'd assume that it would be Tikal.

The figure slowly stepped up to the altar,Sonic peeked out and saw a very familiar person. It was a black hedgehog woth quills exactly like Sabrina's,a light blue dress,golden rings on her quills,blue eyes,and a golden necklace on her neck. "Is that Sabrina?"

Keiko: No, it's just a clone. Kusanagi would know about that.
Kyo K.: Ugh. Still have to deal with at least three of them nowadays.

Suddenly,the hedgehog saw him. "There is no need to hide,blue one." Sonic stood up and walked out. "Sabrina,is that you?" the black hedgehog shook her head and giggled. "No,I am Obsidian,first guardian of the black elemental emerald."

Keiko: So... a clone.
Manic: Two-bit Tikal!

Sonic backed away. Obsidian put her hands in front of her,a black gem appeared in fron of her where she caught it. "See? This emerald holds all of my powers,it is more powerful than the seven combined and the controller itself."

Kyo L., Miyu, Jessie, Cassy: We know...
Benimaru: Then what's the point of the Master Emerald?
Jessie: It's just there to be a glorified prop now.
Tails: I totally forgot! That's also the power of the Phantom Ruby! It removes Super states and affects the Master Emerald's abilities! Fanfiction nonsense is canon now!
Sonic: *facepalms* Urgh...

Suddenly,Sonic was blinded by another bright flash of light,he soon found himself bach in Station Square. Sonic shook his head. "What was that all about? I'd better take this emerald to Knuckles and get some answers on this."

Emi: Wait, you know what it is, so why not give it back to... oh. Oops. I forgot. She's not here.

He ran down the building and saw a familiar figure running through the city.It was Shadow. "Yo! Shadow!" Shadow looked up and saw Sonic,he stopped running.Sonic stopped in front of him,he showed him the black emerald. Shadow gasped. "That's Sabrina's emerald,I need to take it to the Master Emerald now!" Sonic backed away. "What for,is Sabrina there?" Shadow slowly nodded. "Sonic,there something I need to tell you when we get there." Sonic nodded and ran off to the Mystic Ruins with Shadow.

Kyo K.: He was going to give her the divorce papers, but it looks like he didn't have to do that.

On Angel Island,Knuckles was watching the Master Emerald. He suddenly saw a yellow blur running across the wooden bridge at light speed. "Is that Sapphire?" He looked closer,it was Sapphire,she stopped in front of Knuckles. "Knuckles,something's wrong,I can't use my powers!" Knuckles gasped. "Oh no,

Sonic, Manic: *flatly* Oh, no.
Tails: Right on cue.

since Sabrina put her powers back in the Master Emerald,Sapphire's powers must've gone with it!"

Benimaru: Wouldn't it make more sense to explain all of this to Sapphire so she doesn't stumble around like a complete moron?
Kyo K.: Beni... everyone is a complete moron. They don't like talking to each other.

Suddenly,a blue blur and a yellow blur stopped in front of them,it was Sonic and Shadow. "Hey Knuckles,we found this." Sonic pulled out the black emerald.

Emi: Who's this "we"? It just flew over Sonic's head.

Knuckles gasped and grabbed it,he sighed sadly. Shadow walked up front. "Sonic,Sapphire,Sabrina is gone,she put herself back into the Master Emerald." Sonic and Sapphire gasped. "What! She's gone?!" Sapphire was shocked. "M-Mom is gone?" Shadow and Knuckles nodded. "She did it so she could remove the emerald's power from Sabre,to make it easier for you to stop him." Sapphire started crying,

Tomoko: Oh, quit your damn bawling. She's coming back.

she ran to Shadow and hugged him. "No,I don't want mom to leave!" Shadow petted her long quills,he also had tears in his eyes. "I don't want her to leave either,Sapphire. It was for the best of us,I'm sorry." Sonic looked at the black emerald,it was glowing brightly. "Man,I can't believe she's gone.

Rory: *from the very back of the theater* She's not gone!
Cassy: Thank goodness we don't have to clean up any dead herrings here.
Jayleen: Indeed. You will not have to worry about any unfortunate puddles or... diseased plot fish.

What do we do with this emerald?" Knuckles stood up and took it out of his hand. "We'll put it back in it's proper place,in the Master Emerald." Sonic,Shadow,and Sapphire nodded. Knuckles walked up to the master Emerald,he put the black gem on top of the giant green emerald,the black emerald started sinking into it,a bright flash appeared for a few seconds before it vanished.

Axl: What? It acted like it took the freaking Dragon Star! Where's the rotating platform? Someone fight for that thing right now!

The Master Emerald was glowing brightly,then Sabrina's voice came from it. "Thank you,Sabre should be weak enough for you to stop with the seven chaos emeralds,Sonic,Shadow,use your super forms to stop him." Sonic and Shadow stepped up. "Good idea,Sabrina.

Benimaru: Why are you praising her for something that should be painfully obvious?
Emi: She's gone... but she's still with us in the stupid Master Emerald. What was the point of that grieving scene?
Keiko: You mean the grieving scene that lasted about five sentences?
Emi: Yes. I want a point.
Keiko: You're not getting one.

Shadow,you,me and the others will search for the chaos emeralds.Knuckles,you stay here and guard the Master Emerald." Knuckles nodded.Suddenly,the whole island started shaking. "What's happening here,why is the island rumbling?" The force of the rumbling knocked everyone off balance and fall. Suddenly a yellow blur stepped onto the island,laughing evily. "Sabre!" He walked to the group and grinned. "You fools,what did you do with my black emerald?"

Kyo K.: *points at Knuckles* He ate it.
Benimaru: Who would actually consume it?
Kyo K.: They're dumb. I'm sure they'd eat something that's inedible.

Everyone growled. "No way we're telling you!" Sabre growled. "Well then,I guess I'll have to destroy you!"

Keiko: Please do. Make this fic end. *sighs* I think my behind is becoming numb because I've sat here for far too long.

He suddenly ran at Knuckles at light speed,Sapphire ran and pushed him out of the way,unfortunatley,she was hit by Sabre's punch. Shadow gasped. "Sapphire,no!" He ran to her and helped her up. "Thanks dad,I'm fine." Shadow ran at Sabre and punched him,he flew into the altar and fell to the ground. He jumped back to his feet. "Where is my emerald,give me back my power!" He ran at Shadow and tried to punch him,but Shadow jumped out of the way.Sabre growled. "I'll kill you for this!" He continued fighting the heroes.

Kyo K.: You still have the Rainbow Emerald, right? Then what's the damn problem?
Benimaru: It's not the super special one.

Somewhere inside the Master Emerald,Sabrina was back in the ancient village. "Am I in the Master Emerald?"

Emi: *removes her glasses, groans as she buries her face in her hands* No. Comment.

She looked around. Suddenly a female voice called to her. "Sabrina." Sabrina looked around,but didn't see anyone,she started walking through the village and went through the two stone dor that lead to the Master Emerald shrine. Sha ran over to it at supersonic speed,she was surprised. "My powers,I have them back!"

Kyo K.: That's cute. Now can you get out of that damn thing and get the "plot" moving?

She ran to the altar and climbed the stairs to the giant green emerald. She put her hand on it,then she heard the voice again. "Sabrina." Sabrina froze and took her hand off the emerald.She suddenly felt stronger from her black emerald. "I got my emerald back,but why?"

Emi: Because the Master Emerald turned into one of those chutes at the bank.

Suddenly a female voice came from behind her. "Because you are the guardian of the emerald." Sabrina quickly turned around and saw Obsidian standing there. "What?" Obsidian smiled. "You are in your spirit form inside the Master Emerald,you have come here for what reason,ancestor?"

Keiko: You mean "descendant". If you're the creator, then Sabrina should be the descendant.
Benimaru: I don't think that this fic knows what it's doing.

Sabrina backed away. "I came here to stop an evil form that is in the outside world,Sabre." Obsidian gasped. "Oh no,the evil one has returned!" Sabrina stepped up. "You know about my brother?" Obsidian calmed down and smiled.

Kyo K.: Why the hell are you smiling about this?!
Emi: I guess it really is "Super Happy Fun Time".
Kyo K.: Even though he fucking killed people?!
James: We really are one and the same, huh, mate?
Kyo K.: Sometimes... unfortunately.

"He was the one who was always trying to take my black emerald,now he has returned to seek revenge and destroy the universe." Sabrina gasped. "Now I understand why he was after me so much.Why did you call me 'ancestor'?" Obsidian smiled. "Because,you are my incarnation,a new guardian of the black jewel that I created." Sabrina gasped. "You mean that I am you?" Obsidian nodded.

Keiko: Oh. I see. So she is a clone.
Kyo L.: Yeah, just what we need. More of her.
Emi: Wait, how was it possible for her to create this, send it back to the past, and then... *holds her head* ...ugh. I'm so lost.

Sabrina backed away,Obsidian sat down. "Here,let me show you how much good you were to the world." Sabrina bacame confused,Obsidian stood up,suddenly,a bright light appeared in front of them. Obsidian motioned her to walk in,Sabrina gulped and slowly walked in with her. The bright light disappeared.

Kyo K.: And she never returned, fic's over. *attempts to stand up* What the...?
Benimaru: Remember when I said that I'd static cling your behind to the seat?
Kyo K.: Are you serious?
Benimaru: *smirks as electricity pulses from one of his hands* Yeah, I was. It'll lift once we're done with this chapter.
Kyo K.: Damn it.

Sabre was still fighting the four heroes on Angel Island,he was getting hit,but he kept healing himself using the rainbow chaos emerald. "I don't have time for this,I deal with you punks later." Sabre jumped up and vanished.

Emi: But... you started it.
Keiko: He's a glorified bully.
Benimaru: Why... did he quit a fight that he was winning?
Emi: I... don't know.

Sonic and the others calmed down. "Great,he got away,at least he's not as destructive as before." Everyone nodded. Sonic started walking away. "Shadow,Sapphire,you coming or what?" They both nodded and ran with him off the island,Knuckles walked up to the Master Emerald and sat down by it. "I hope Sabrina is okay in there."

Kyo K.: Bah. I don't really care. She's fine. Who cares?

Okay,listen up! I am ordering you to review my fic,or no more updates!

Emi: *folds her arms* You can't tell me what to do.
Benimaru: Oh? You're threatening us?
Keiko: It can't be a threat if "no more updates" was actually the desired outcome.

People also need to review Christinatails's fic: Sonic and Friends enter American Idol.

Kyo K.: No. Hell, no.

She really needs your help! Better review or else I will go in Rage Stage on you! Capische? Remember,no reviews,no updates!

Emi: So... not only are you threatening to make us review this, you're threatening to beat us up, too? Okay. Fine. *looks around* Who wants to burn this fic?
Jayleen: I never expected you to go down that route, Tsukino. Regardless, the critique of this butchered fic must continue. That is a riffer's duty, yes?
Emi: Sadly.
Jayleen: At least you understand. Now, then... we'll let the random select decide the next four riffers here...

--

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