Mystery Science Theater En Masse: Movie Squares

Super Special 2: Sabrina's Adventure 3: The Sapphire Quest (Part Nineteen)

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Note: The main riffers for this part will be Amy, Jessie, Rory, and Tomoko.

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19. Sabre's Escape, Slash's Rise

Amy: The other version of this fic has the title "The Escape" instead. Not that it matters, but it's there.

In the heart of the capital city, Slash sat at the top of the president's office, thinking of his next move. He chuckled coldy. "Those fools don't stand a chance against me. Even though I only have 1 emerald, I am already much stronger than them..."

Amy: Shut up, Duskaslashasabrenagi!
Jessie: *laughs, coughs* Oh, that hurt.

He suddenly stopped. He was sensing 2 emeralds very closeby. Slash jumped down from the roof and walked to a window. Inside was the president, who was watching 5 security guards carry a diamond case inside a giant safe. Slash suddenly caught the flash of 2 chaos emeralds. A security guard walked in carrying a green emerald and a white emerald. Slash grinned. "Perfect..."

Amy, Jessie, Rory: *facepalms*
Tomoko: Uh-huh. The Convienience Workshop is doing the dumb thing again.
Jayleen: *begins to look something up* We might as well attempt to boil the oceans. That will be a start.

He watched closely as the guard put the emeralds in the case. The president used a keypad to turn on the security cameras.

Rory: And the password? One, one, one... two.

The guards left with the president following, turning off all the lights on the way out. Slash grinned. "I won't even need my powers to get through this one." He chuckled and vanished. A few seconds later, he reappeared in the middle of the room, not minding about the cameras aiming at him. He slowly walked to the locked safe...

In the security room, the security guards have seen him on the camera monitors. They all gasped. "It's Sabre! Sound the alarms! Call the police!"

Amy: *falls out of her seat, falls on her face*
Jessie: *picks Amy up and puts her back into her seat* I know that we all fall out of our seats from time to time, but you, Manic, and Rory tend to hit the floor face first so many times. Is it mainly unique to hedgehogs?
Kyo K.: So they really are spiky lemmings.

The chief quickly pushed the alarm button and grabbed his phone. He dialed and waited. "Get me the Paradise Island prison! We have a situation!"

Tomoko: And it's an incredibly dumb situation, but who's really keeping track here?

In the Paradise City hight security prison, the warden answered his phone. "Yes?" He waited for the guard to finish talking, then he gasped. "There's no way! We have Sabre locked up here! Yes? Alright we'll check!" He hung up his phone and called in several guards. "Go to the underground prison chambers and make sure Sabre is there!" The 11 male guards and 1 female guard saluted and started marching to the underground chambers.

Rory: Why the heck would the guards need to march?

Back in the capital city, Slash was inside the safe, slowly walking towards the diamond case containing the two chaos emeralds. "Yes..." He stopped in front of the case and grinned. With one quick swipe, the diamond case was shattered, and the chaos emeralds were pulled out. Slash grinned, but was then stopped when he heard the clicking of several shotguns being loaded. "Stop right there, Sabre..." Slash slowly turned to them with a chaos emerald in each hand. "Why officers, I believe you've made a mistake..." The sheriff stepped foward. "Put the emeralds back to where they belong, and get on the ground..." Slash chuckled. "As you wish, officer..." He laughed and gripped the emeralds tightly. The emeralds were quickly absorbed into his hands. The sheriff gasped. "Open fire men!"

Amy: *facepalms* Here we go again...
Tomoko: *sighs in annoyance* I... ugh, I don't have the effort to snark here. This is just... no.

The officers quickly aimed and started shooting their shotguns at Slash. Slash grinned and stood there. The thousands of bullets were somehow missing Slash.

Jessie: How and why are they shooting thousands of bullets?!
Rory: That wall is probably looking like swiss cheese now.
Tomoko: And some of the employees are probably that, too.

Slash looked as if he was standing there, but in fact, he was dodging so fast, that everyone thinks he's still standing. Slash grinned and vanishes while dodging, leaving the standing image of him lasting a few seconds after. When the image vanished, officers were puzzled...

Outside of the capital city, Slash reappeared and stood on the sandy beach. Those mortals, so weak, so useless.

Amy: Even the narrator hates us.
Jessie: Eh. My life force has already been sapped, anyway.

He suddenly saw several blurs running towards him. Sabrina stopped right in front of Slash and looked at him. "I'm guessing you're the one who stole the chaos emeralds from the president."

Rory: *as Sabrina* I mean, I can't blame Sabre since he's in jail and all...

Sonic and everyone else stopped and growled.

Tomoko: *tosses raw meat to Sonic and company* Have at it.

Slash grinned and stepped back. "You don't need to know, because you're finished!" He clenched his fists and laughed. His hands glowed a slightly red aurora. Suddenly Sabrina started glowing a faint red. Slash was levitating her with his new powers. He threw his fists at at rock. Sabrina was suddenly thrown at the rock at an incredible speed. She crashed and slowly got up. "How did he do that?"

Amy: *facepalms, groans* How are you the protagonist again?
Tomoko: Guess that rock took her remaining brain cell.
Amy: Just one cell?
Tomoko: Yep.

Suddenly she felt one of the chaos emeralds she's holding being moved by Slash's levitation. The purple emerald quickly came out and landed right in Slash's hand. "Thank you, Sabrina, for this lovely emerald." He quickly absorbed it into his hand. Sabrina gasped and ran at him. She charged up a dark energy ball and threw it at him. Slash grinned and hit it away with his hand with ease. Sabrina gasped. Sonic started running at him and jumped high for a kick. Slash chuckled and clenched his fist. Sonic was aiming his kick, when suddely a yellow ring of energy wrapped around his body, then two more appeared and wrapped around his upper and lower body, holding him in the air. "Let me go!" He struggled, but couldn't get free. Slash clenched his fist harder, making the rings around Sonic start contricting him. Sonic winced in great pain. "A little help here!" Everyone gasped. Slash made the rings move Sonic over the ocean. Sonic gasped and struggled the best he can,but it didn't work, it only made the rings tighter. Slash grinned. I'll give you a choice, I'll let you either be squeezed to death, or let you drown at the bottom of the ocean. Sonic stopped struggling and sighed. Slash laughed, but was suddenly tackled by Speedy. "You leave my dad alone!" Slash fell, making him drop Sonic into the ocean. Slash slowly got up and glared at Speedy. "You foolish mortal, you will regret that!" He threw a powerful chop at Speedy. The young hedgehog was hit and thrown back several feet. He slowly got up, with a very large cut on his chest. He then looked out to the ocean. "Dad!" He limped to the ocean while bleeding heavily. He started swimming fast, hoping to get to his father before he drowns.

Amy: *flailing* You're jumping into the salty ocean while you have a cut on your chest!
Jessie: Look, I understand. Sonic can't swim. Naturally, you'd try to ignore your injuries to save someone.
Amy: Makes sense, but there's a problem. He limped to the ocean and out of nowhere, swam incredibly fast.
Jessie: I guess it's adrenaline. Even then... *shrugs*

He saw Sonic sinking, and knocked out. Speedy swam down as fast as he could and grabbed his father's hand. He tried to swim up, but Sonic was too heavy for him, and he started sinking. Speedy was running out of air, he struggled harder and harder, but he continued sinking. Speedy suddenly blacked out when he ran out of air...

Rory: And nobody else is going to go after him?!

Back on the beach, Sapphire became worried about Speedy and Sonic. "Oh no..."

Tomoko: Tch.
Rory: Oh, now you go after them!
Tails: Dummy.

She ran towards the water and dived in, swimming very fast. She saw Sappedy's

Amy: It's like the author tried to write Sapphire's name, didn't bother to press backspace, and just wrote the rest of Speedy's name in it. You can tell that this fic was rushed.
Tomoko: Yeah, clearly.

hand just fading away as she saw them hit the bottom. Sapphire grabbed them both and used chaos control. All three hedgehogs disappeared in a bright flash of light...

Slash grinned ad walked to the still out Sabrina.

Jessie: Wait a second, we weren't shown her being knocked unconscious!
Amy: Definitely rushed. Bad enough that this series had so many messed up points.

He reached into the pocket of her jacket and pulled out the blue chaos emerald she got from Tails and Christina. "Perfect..." He could feel another emerald in one of the heroes. He looked to Sabretooth. Sabretooth gasped and backed away. "No..." He started running. Slash quickly chased and caught up easily. He used a foot to trip the young hedgehog.

Amy: Again with the tripping. What is this, Smash Bros. Brawl?

Sabretooth fell into the sand and tries to get back up, but Slash puts his foot on him and grins. You won't get away this time, son..." He laughed and took the red chaos emerald from his pocket. Sabretooth growled. "I am not your son!" He instantly got up and kicked Slash off him. Slash backed away and vanished with the red emerald. Shadow growled. "No he got all our emeralds!"

Tomoko: And you just stood there and did absolutely nothing, you idiot! Wait a sec... where the hell were you all this damn time?!
Rory: So... he just stood there and watched his wife get knocked out, his former rival and his son almost drown, and let this guy who tried to nuke a whole village get some magical gems... so he can probably kill even more people. Huh! Wow... these are the most useless "protagonists" that I've ever seen!
Axl: Yeah, they're do-nothing sociopaths.

Sabretooth sighed. "I'm sorry, I should have been braver..."

Jessie: It's not your fault, sweetie. At least you tried... unlike a certain dumbass who just stood there.

Sabrina woke up and rubbed her head, she then noticed her pockets were empty. "No! Slash took the other emerald!" Shadow ran to her. "Are you alright, Sabrina?"

Amy: Oh! Now you're concerned about your wife!
Tails: Dummy.

Sabrina nodded and got up. "I'm fine." Sabretooth walked to her and sighed. "Slash got my red emerald as well, Slash now has 6 emeralds!" Sabrina gasped. "We have to find that last emerald before Slash does!" Everyone nodded and scattered across the whole planet...

Tomoko: ...and they were never seen again. Now can we get some competent people instead of these morons? Sabretooth can stay.
Jessie: No. The audience needs to be tormented by blatant stupidity.

Back in the prison, the guards arrived in the underground prison chambers. They walked through the long hall, stopping at cell 122. They used a number code to open the doors. Inside was Sabre, sleeping in the small bed near the wall. One of the guards shot his gun at the wall, waking Sabre.

Rory: Pretty sure that's a violation... or a thousand.

"Alright Sabre, get up." Sabre slowly sat up and sighed. "What is it this ti--" The guard quickly spoke up. "Silence! Where are the two chaos emeralds you stole from the president?" Sabre became confused. "Chaos emeralds? Guards, I didn't steal any chaos emeralds. You must have mistaken me for Slash." The guards aimed their guns at him. "Yeah yeah, another one of your little Slash stories, now give us the emeralds or we'll shoot!" Sabre sighed. "I don't have any emeralds! Listen to me!" The guard growled. "Ready men? Open fire in 3...2...1..."

Amy: So... you're going to execute an innocent person over the theft of some Chaos Emeralds? What the... why is everyone so bloodthirsty and dumb?!
Rory: A violation and a million!

Suddenly the small female guard lashed at the lead guard, leaving heavy scatch marks all over him, knocking him out. Sabre and everyone else gasped. The men now aimed their guns at her. "Fiona, you traitor! How could you betray us?"

Tomoko: *scoffs* Yeah, imagine if you idiots actually shot the guy full of holes. Guess lawsuits don't exist in this universe.

The female guard snickered. "My name is not Fiona, it's Aleena!"

Amy: Congrats, you just ratted yourself out to corrupt law enforcement.

She quickly lunged at the guards, lashing her claws at everyone in sight, quickly knocking them out. They were all down, she looked towards Sabre. The hegdehog gasped and backed away. The small guard walked to him and pinned him to the wall. Sabre gasped. "I'll hurt you if I have to..." The guard quickly covered his mouth with her hand. "Be quiet! Do you want us to get caught?" She uncovered his mouth and sighed, she took off her helmet and smiled. Sabre gasped. "Aleena?" She covered his mouth again with her hand. "Be quiet...I'm busting you out of here." Sabre backed away a little. "This place is heavily guarded, it'll be impossible to get out." Aleena waved her finger. "Wrong. I got a certain red echidna to help us out, he already got rid of the guards."

Jessie: Yeah, the incompetent and bloodthirsty guards. Nobody's going to miss 'em.

Sabre smiled a little "Then let's go, my sister needs all the help she can get, who knows how many emeralds Slash has now." He picked up Aleena. The cat giggled and blushed a bit before they both vanished. Outside the prison, they both reappeared. Sabre sighed with relief and looked around. "I can't sense any emeralds closeby, not even my sister's." He saw Knuckles running to them, he stopped and panted. Aleena walked to him and smiled. "Thank for your help, Knuckles." Knuckles smiled. Sabre reached in his pocket and pulled out 3 small master emerald shards. "You'll need these." Knuckles took them and smiled. "Just what I'm looking for." Sabre smiled. "I found those emerald shards in the prison."

Amy: Wait, hold on. He was wrongly arrested for pilfering emeralds. He was going to be wrongly executed for it. And yet... nobody bothered to pick up those shards?
Jessie: Stop using logic, Amy.

Knuckles put the shards away and ran off. Aleena suddenly saw a bright flash coming from the ocean just a few feet away. "Sabre! I think there's an emerald in the water!" Sabre gasped. "No wonder why I couldn't sense it!" Aleena ran to the water and looked, she saw a yellow emerald shining far below. "Sabre, the water's pretty deep, we might have to swim down there and get it!" Sabre backed away. Aleena looked at him. "Is there something wrong?" The hedgehog sighed. "I...I can't swim..."

Rory: Wait, just because Sonic can't swim doesn't mean that all of us hedgehogs can't swim.
Tomoko: Yeah, and every bad hedgehog OC has his super speed.
Jessie: Sabrina's his twin, and she has gills. Let him flail around. He'll be fine.
Cassy: Sign up at the community pool!

Aleena walked to him. "Why not?" Sabre walked to the water cautiously. "I was able to swim while Slash was controlling me, but now that he left, he has disabled my swimmiing ability, and now I have to learn it all over again." Aleena smiled. "Well, I can give you a few quick lessons, because if I go there by myself, there may be sharks in there!" Sabre sighed. "There's no time for lessons! We have to get that emerald before Slash finds us and gets it!" Aleena sighed. "Okay..I'll go get it myself..." She took off her shoes and stepped into the chilly waters. She got in and put on her air necklace, which helps her breathe underwater.

Rory: She stole that from Knuckles!

She swam down several feet, then she saw a school of sharks swimming around the emerald. Aleena gasped nervously. "Just stay calm...don't let them smell your blood..." She managed to get into the school and got close to the yellow emerald. She slowly grabbed it and started swimming to the surface. Suddenly, her leg was jabbed by a sharp rock.

Tomoko: *rolls her eyes* Great. Convenience strikes again.

Aleena gasped and saw she had a small cut, which started bleeding. Aleena gasped and started swimming as fast as she can. The few drops of blood sank down and got to the school of over 10 sharks.

Amy: A school of sharks? Like, out of nowhere? Were they practicing synchronized swimming and just got hungry for the blood of a cat?

They instantly smelled it and started swimming after Aleena. Sabre watched the water carefully, then he saw a shark fin at the surface, then two, and a few seconds later, six. Sabre gasped. "Oh no...Aleena!" He thought for a second. Without any other choice, he dived into the water.

Tomoko: It's a step up from standing there and watching the whole thing.

He was quickly face to face with a large shark. Sabre punched it, making the shark fly back. Sabre swam down as fast as he could to Aleena. The other sharks were circling her, getting closer each second. Sabre swam at them and punched two away, then grabbed Aleena's hand and started swimming up. The sharks were closing in quickly. Sabre was starting to lose air and got slower. Aleena gasped and took off her air necklace, then offered it to him. Sabre took it and got some air and got back to normal. Suddenlt he felt a very sharp pain as one of the sharks bit into his foot. Sabre winced and managed to get to the surface with the shark still gripping his foot. He limped to the shore and sighed. He grabbed the shark still on his foot and threw it back into the water.His foot was bleeding heavily with deep gash wounds. Aleena gasped and helped him up. "That foot needs to be healed right away!" Sabre managed to stand by himself. "I'll be fine."

Jessie: Y'know... this is supposed to be a dramatic suspense scene. How're you all feeling?
Rory: I'm tired. When's this ending?
Jessie: Pretty sure that's not supposed to be the response to that.
Rory: Then they did it wrong. I mean, it's less embarrassing since this is Sabre, but... eh.

He limped a little and walked off the beach. Aleena ran after and showed the yellow emerald to him. "I got the chaos emerald!" Sabre took it and smiled. Aleena smiled. "I guess you knew ho to swim after all." She giggled. Sabre groaned and walked away. "Let's just get the others and look for more emeralds." Aleena stopped and sighed. "He's been so uptight lately..."

Amy: I mean, he was framed and nearly executed, so...

She stayed there and let him go. Aleena started walking to the park.

On the shores of Paradise Island, Lola and Rouge were still searching for the master emerald shards. Lola was getting bored from all the searching,

Tomoko: Trust me, I'm bored, too.

she sat down and sighed. "Are the shards this tough to find?" Rouge shook her head. "Not really, if you're an experienced treasure hunter." Lola sighed. "

I'm kinda starting to miss that Sabretooth guy, he seems pretty nice, even though he's a grouch sometimes." Rouge smiled. "I have the exact same thought for that dumb echidna. Lola, if you like him that much, it's best to keep away from them." Lola became confused. "Why?" Rouge giggled a little. "If you want their attention, let them miss you, it works for me. I bet that knucklehead will be here any moment for me." Just as she said that, Knuckles ran by and stopped. "You again? Give me any master emerald shards you found." Rouge huffed and walked to him. "Why should I? I can just add them to my collection." Knuckles growled. "Traitor!"

Amy: *bored* Oh, great. More pointless drama. Just get the giant meteor in here.
Tomoko: Kinda sad that a random object would make a better character than these idiots.

He ran at her and launched a fast punch, but Rouge flew up high. "You ned to quit being so selfish! Why can't you care for someone besides yourself?" Knuckles growled. "Why should I care about you? You're a thief!" Rouge growled. "I am not a thief!" She broke down crying. Knuckles realized what he did. "Rouge...I'm sorry." He kneeled down by her and hugged her gently. Rouge stopped crying. "All I wanted, was for you to care for me..." Knuckles hugged a little tighter. "I'm really sorry Rouge..." He pulled her up and sighed. Rouge smiled. "Thank you, Knuckles..." Knuckles smiled. "Now, lets finish searching for those emeralds, together." Rouge smiled. "Alright." She pulled out 5 master emerald shards. Knuckles smiled and took them. "Only one more left to fine, the one Slash has." Rouge nodded. "Let get back to Sabrina to see if they need anymore help." Knuckles and Lola nodded and started running towards Station Square.

Rory: *falls out of his seat, hits the floor face first*
Tomoko: *sighs*
Jessie: *picks Rory up and places him back into his seat*
Amy: *chants* Me-te-or! Me-te-or! Me-te-or!

At Sonic's house, Speedy, woke up in his room. He sat up and saw he had his chest wrapped up in bandages where his cut was. Speedy hopped out of bed an into the party room, where Sonic was resting. He was awake, but still dazed from Slash's attack. Amy saw Speedy and walked to him. "Are you feeling better Speedy?" Speedy nodded and hugged his mother tightly. "What happened to the others? And how is dad doing?" Amy sighed. "We don't know what happened to the others.

Tomoko: Yeah, that's obvious, ain't it?

And Sonic will do fine, he's just still a little messed up from Slash." Sapphire walked to Speedy. "You two would have been shark food if I hadn't have pulled you out of the water."

Jessie: Oh, fuck off. You just stood there and waited for him to almost drown. Don't fucking try to steal the credit.
Rory: Well, she is Sabrina's daughter, right? Credit stealing runs in the family.

Speedy smiled. "Thanks Sapphire." Sapphire smiled. Speedy ran to Sonic. "You ok dad?" Sonic did a thumbs up and chuckled. "Never better, son...That was pretty brave of you to try saving me..." Speedy chuckled. "I just hope everyone else is alright..." Sonic nodded. "Same here son..."

Amy: Again, the first person who is taken out... is Sonic. The title character is too weak for some weird reason.
Jessie: Yeah, his name's not in the title of this fic, so of course he's going to be taken out.

I'M BACK! And this time for good! Next chapter: Sabre now holds the last remaining chaos emerald! It's a one on one showdown between Sabre and Slash! Who will win? Find out in the next chapter!

Rory: Slash is gonna win, isn't he?
Tomoko: Probably. Who cares? Heroes are too dumb, Sabre himself is unlucky, and the villain's too bland. I don't care what happens next.
Jayleen: Hmm. Looks like we'll have to get the other Prower and the older James twin in here. They haven't riffed yet.
Amy: Who else is left? Well, aside from those two.
Jayleen: The oldest Hedgehog triplet and Nikaido.
Sonic: Heh... *sighs* ...this might be terrible.
Benimaru: I don't want to do this.
Jayleen: Well, you were lucky enough to miss seven entire chapters. I'm confident that you have the ability to handle one more chapter... at the least. To the front, please.

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