Mystery Science Theater En Masse: Movie Squares

Super Special 2: Sabrina's Adventure 3: The Sapphire Quest (Part Ten)

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Note: This chapter will be handled by Amy, Kyo L., Mai, and Tomoko.

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10. Sapphire's a Big Sister! Sakura's Secret Crush!

Amy: That chapter title cuts it off from the site that we got it from. It was "Sapphire's a Big Sister! Sakura's Secret..." over there. The other site has the full chapter title.
Tomoko: Huh. Everyone knows that Sakura has a crush on Sabretooth, anyway. Fic wasn't good at hiding that crap before.
Amy: Oh, and with this chapter's title... that means that Cassy's right! Sabrina's pregnant!
James: Fuckin' hell.

The next morning,Sabrina woke up when she felt sick to her stomach,she opened her eyes and saw Shadow sleeping next to her in the bedroom.She suddenly felt sick again,she quickly got up with her blue robe and ran into the bathroom.She made it just in time before she vomited in the toilet.After a minute,she got up and walked back to her room.When she got there,she saw Shadow sitting up on the bed,smiling.Before Sabrina could speak,she got sick again and ran to the bathroom,she vomited again.

Kyo L.: Shit. It's the Bella Swan pregnancy.
Mai: This fic is giving terrible messages. One night of love -- or in that one unfortunate case, rape -- should not mean "instant pregnancy".
Amy: Instant baby for you and me!

She suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder,she turned around and saw Shadow behind her,smiling.

Kyo L.: Why the fuck are you smiling?!
Tomoko: I don't know what these people are on. I just know that I don't want any of it.

Sabrina was able to stand up. "Shadow,I don't feel so well."

Tomoko: You vomited twice, and you're just figuring this out?

She suddenly turned around and vomited again,Shadow just chuckled. "And I know exactly why." Sabrina got back up,confused. "What do you mean you know why?" Shadow smiled and stepped closer to her.Sabrina backed away. "Shadow,are you hiding something from me?" Shadow stopped walking and smiled. "The question is,what are we hiding?" Sabrina became a little angry. "What! I'm not hiding anything!" Shadow chuckled and started to walk away. "Come on,it should be easy to tell after it already happened once." Sabrina walked after him. "Already happened once? Shadow,what are you saying?"

Mai: *sighs in annoyance* How in the world did you forget that you were pregnant before?

Shadow suddenly ran back and picked up Sabrina. He put her down and put a hand on her belly,he whispered a few words in her ear. Sabrina gasped and backed away. "What! We are?"

Kyo L.: Shit. I should've drowned myself in the nearest toilet.

Shadow nodded. Sabrina looked to the ground. "So,you wanted this to happen,are you sure? How are we gonna tell the others,especially Sapphire?" Shadow walked up to her and smiled. "Don't worry,we'll tell when everyone is up,okay?" Sabrina looked at him and smiled.She hugged him. "Shadow,this is so wonderful! I can't wait to tell everyone!"

Amy: Wait, so he impregnated her without her consent?! *flails* Why?!
Kyo L.: *begins swearing in a mixture of French and Japanese*
Mai: This is one of the most disturbing fics that I have ever read.

Shadow hugged back. "I know,let's go to the party room to see who's up." Sabrina nodded and stood up,they both walked out of the bathroom and walked into the party room. When they got there,they saw two yellow hedgehogs sleeping on the couches. Sapphire was sleeping in one,and Sabretooth was sleeping in the other couch.Sabrina and Shadow walked over and sat down by Sapphire. The sleeping hedgehog opened her eyes and sat up,she saw her parents. "Mom,dad,you're back!" Sapphire hugged them,the two hedgehogs hugged back. "Sapphire,we missed you all day yesterday." Sapphire let go of them and smiled. "I missed you,too." Sabretooth woke up and walked to them. "I see you two are back." He looked to Sapphire. Sabrina stood up. "So,why did you two have to see the president?" Sapphire stood up and stretched. "He was asking us about Sabre,Rouge told us." Sabrina smiled. "Okay. Who's Rouge?" Shadow chuckled. "It's that bat-girl I met while I was on the space colony ARK,she is a goverment spy."

Tomoko: Well, probably not anymore now that you said that out loud.

Sabrina smiled. "Okay." Sabretooth walked to Shadow and smiled. "The president said that he wanted to see you." Shadow smiled. "Okay,I'll go see him later on,thanks." Sabretooth smiled and walked away to his room.

Kyo L.: *forcefully smiles* Kill me.
Cassy: *smiles as she flashes her claws and positions them over Kyo L.'s head* Sure, why not? You tried to kill me earlier!
Tomoko: *sighs, grabs Cassy with her chains and throws her to the back of the theater*
Jayleen: Thank you, Nakamura. I never knew that there was a piece of so-called literature that could cause its readers to become incredibly homicidal.
Mai: It's happened before, if I'm not mistaken.
Amy: Yes. Plenty of times.
Tomoko: You really are one to talk, Rose. You've smashed enough screens to fill an electronics store.

Sabrina looked to Sapphire. "Sapphire,can you get everyone up,me and Shadow have something important to say." Sapphire became worried. "What is it,mom? Did something happen,something bad?"

Mai: Yes.
Amy: Hee!

Shadow walked to her and smiled. "No,nothing is wrong,it's something very good.

Mai: Stop lying to us.

Go on and wake everyone up." Sapphire smiled. "Okay." She ran to Speedy's room and woke him up,he ran into the party room. Sonic sleepily walked out of his room just to see a yellow blur blow past him. He almost fell over. "Sapphire,watch it,okay?" He walked to the party room,he saw Shadow and Sabrina sitting on the couch,talking. Sonic walked over and sat down next to them. "Hey,guys. What's the noise about?" Sabrina and Shadow stopped talking and both smiled at him. "Wait until everyone's here,Sonic!" Sonic backed away,confused. Soon,Tails,Christina,Sakura,and Amy walked in. They all sat down on the couches. After a few minutes,Sapphire and Sabretooth walked in and sat down.Shadow and Sabrina stood up and walked to the center of the room,everyone stopped talking. Shadow and Sabrina smiled. "Everyone,we have something very special to say,it's important to everyone,especially Sapphire!" Shadow started talking. "What we have to say is,we're going to have a baby." Everyone's jaws dropped.

Tomoko: We just went from doing it to... what, four or five months pregnant in the span of twelve hours? Look, I know that LeMaire brought it up earlier, but this crap's still dumb.

There was complete silence in the room.After a few seconds,Sonic broke the silence. "No way! Are you serious?" Shadow and Sabrina nodded. Sapphire stood up and ran to them. "Wow,I'm going to have a brother or sister! I can't believe this,this is so cool! I can't wait!" Sapphire hugged her mother.Everyone stood up and started clapping and cheering. Sabretooth walked over to Sapphire and grabbed her arm,she turned around and saw the clock. "Sabretooth,let's go,we'll be late for training!" Sabretooth nodded,the two hedgehogs escaped the crowd and were able to get out of the house.

Kyo L.: You heard it here, folks. A crowd is now... let's see, that whole group minus two is... *counts on his fingers, mutters* ...eight fuckin' people.

Sapphire was smiling. "Wow,my mom's having another baby,I'm going to be a sister! Sabretooth,you're going to have another cousin pretty soon!"

Amy: Great! They can go and bully him, too! *waves her hands halfheartedly* Yay...

Sabretooth started running ahead of her to the capital city.Sapphire got angry and turned into a yellow blur,she blew past Sabretooth and stopped in front of the president's building.

Kyo L.: I guess she needed to get all the bullying in before her new sibling spawn from Hell makes it in to taint the world.

After a minute,Sabretooth caught up,he stopped in front of the building. They both pulled out their keycards they got from Rouge yesterday. They showed them to the two guards,they both opened the door and let them in.They both walked in and saw Rouge standing in front of them. She smirked. "Right on time,kids! Let's go see the president so he can approve you two.Follow me." Rouge and the two hedgehogs started walking through the building,they talked on the way. Rouge smiled. "So,you were almost late,what kept you?" Sapphire walked next to her. "Well,my parents came home last night,and when I got up they told everyone that they're having another baby,I'm going to be a big sister." Rouge smiled. "Really? Maybe I can join the baby shower,huh?" Sapphire nodded. "Oh,my dad will be coming to see the president,he'll be here soon." Rouge smiled. "Okay,maybe we all can talk to the president."

Amy: *sings to the tune of "Let's All Go to the Lobby"* Let's all talk to the president...

Sapphire suddenly heard a familiar voice calling her. She turned around and saw Shadow and Sabrina running to them. Rouge and Sabretooth turned around. Shadow and Sabrina stopped in front of them,Rouge smirked. "Well,well,well! Who do we have here,the ultimate life form." Shadow grinned. "I see that you found my daughter,what are you doing with them,anyway?" Rouge smirked. "To see the president,of course! To find some more info about Sabre.But now that you two are here,we can finally get some real info about him." Sabrina walked up to her and smiled. Rouge gasped. "Shadow,are you married with the famous Sabrina?"

Mai: *as her eye twitches* I could've sworn that we just covered this.
Tomoko: Sort of. Last chapter said that Shadow had a girlfriend for some stupid reason. Sapphire did say that she was the daughter of those two horny dorks, though.

Shadow nodded. Sabrina held her hand out. "You must be Rouge,right?" Rouge grabbed her hand and shook it. "That's right! Sabrina hedgehog?" Sabrina nodded. Rouge felt a surge of energy as she released Sabrina's hand. "What was that?" Sabrina smiled. "Oh,that was from my black emerald,that always happens when I shake hands."

Kyo L.: One day, she's gonna kill someone with that handshake.

Rouge smiled. "Thanks,let's go see the president." Everyone nodded and followed Rouge to the president's office. After a minute,they stopped in front of two large doors. Rouge opened them and the heroes walked in.The president was sitting at his desk,working on some papers,he saw Shadow and stood up. "Ah,project Shadow! Please sit." Shadow,Sabrina,Sapphire,and Sabretooth walked in and sat down in some chairs. The president walked to them. "So,Shadow is alive and well?" Shadow nodded. "I heard that you are living with Sonic and his friends,right?" Shadow nodded again.

Amy: ...we just covered this, too!
Tomoko: Padding's a hell of a curse, Rose.

The president thought for a moment. "So,how did you survive after you and Sonic stopped the space colony ARK from crashing into the Earth?" Shadow ran through his thoughts. "Well,after me and Super Sonic used chaos control to return the colony back into orbit,I was falling toward Earth,I used the last of my energy to use chaos control to transport me back to the planet.That was all I remeber until Sabrina found me,she helped me regain my health." The president smiled. "Okay,so are you on the good side now?" Shadow nodded.

Kyo L.: Who says shit like this?! *in a pompous voice* Oh, you're on the good side, buh, buh, buh! *normal voice* The... hell?

The president stood up and walked around. "Hm,very good.We have gained some information from Sapphire that you and Sabrina have been fighting Sabre,right?" Both Shadow and Sabrina nodded. Sabrina stood up. "Mr. President,Sabre is my brother,he is an evil killer who is trying to get my black elemental emerald. He wants to use them to destroy the universe,so we always try our best to stop him from getting it."

Mai: And that Rainbow Emerald? That doesn't exist right now.

The president looked out his window. "I see. Sapphire told me that you hold the black elemental emerald,correct?"

Amy, Kyo L., Mai, Tomoko: *facepalms*
Tomoko: *grumbles* Can you impeach a president for having swiss cheese memory?
Amy: Wrong kind of president, but that still stands.

Sabrina nodded. The president turned around. "Sapphire told me also that the elemental emeralds are equally as powerful as the seven chaos emeralds combined,right?" Sabrina nodded again. The president sighed and sat down at his desk. "If such power is vulnerable to the wrong hands,the world is in grave danger.The emerald must be safeguarded!"

Kyo L.: Uh, yeah... about that... Sabrenagi got his hands on that thing twice. And the second time, people fuckin' died. You're super late.

Sabrina stood up. "Mr. President,we cannot allow that! The black elemental emerald is to be protected by me.The emerald also gives me my strength,speed,and powers. Without the emerald's power,I'm just a regular hedgehog.

Mai: It hasn't stopped you twice.
Tomoko: And she's done a crappy job of protecting it twice.

And besides,we're having a baby." The president thought for a moment. "I understand,Sabrina.What else do you know about Sabre?" Sabrina stood up. "Well,he can run at supersonic speed naturally unlike me.He looks exacly like Sabretooth behind me." Sabrina pointed to Sabretooth. The president wrote on a paper. Sabrina continued. "He is a very skilled fighter,he knows how to use chaos control." The president continued writing. "Hm,do you know his location?" Sapphire walked up to him. "He lives on Paradise Island,in the deep forest somewhere."

Kyo L.: Burn all the trees and we'll find him.
Amy: Kyo, that's one of the dumbest ideas ever. And it's perfect for this fic.

The president turned around and found a map,he placed it on his desk. "Can you tell me the exact location?" Sapphire looked at the map,she pointed at a spot on the forest region. The president used a pen to put an 'X' on the spot. Sapphire sat down. The president smiled and sat down.

Tomoko: Oh, please. You just picked a spot at random.
Amy: Pin the tail on the Sabrenagi.

"Good,I think we have enough info about him for now,if we need any more,we'll ask Rouge to get you.Right,Rouge?" Rouge smirked and walked to him. The president stood up and walked to the door,he opened them. "Well,it was good to have you here,you may leave now." Shadow and Sabrina stood up and walked to the door. "Thank you,Mr. President. We were happy to help you. Maybe you can join us on our baby shower." The president smiled and led them out. "I probably will. Good luck!" Shadow and Sabrina smiled as they left the capital building.

Mai: He's going to forget that she's pregnant. It will be incredibly stupid.

The president returned back inside of his office to Rouge,Sapphire,and Sabretooth. "So,I see you decided to join as a secret agent!" Sapphire and Sabretooth nodded and sat down.

Amy: Plural. It should be secret agents.
Mai: Sabretooth is being bullied by the president, too? What a world.

The president walked to them. "Rouge planned to make you our agents so we can try to find out more about Sabre. This is a dangerous business you know. You can still be able to decline if you change your mind."

Kyo L.: Well, that's only after you get obliterated by a Chaos Blast...

Both hedgehogs shook their heads. "No,we'll do anything to stop Sabre,even if it means becoming a secret agent." The president smiled and walked back to his desk. "Very good,now,first we need to test your physical abilities,Rouge will take you to the training section for that." Sapphire and Sabretooth nodded. Rouge walked up to them. The president pulled out some papers. "All you need to do is to sign these papers,and then we'll start!"

Tomoko: Test their physical abilities? Wait, wasn't there a whole damn thing dedicated to their testing? Or was I in a coma?
Mai: You were alive and conscious to witness that text... unfortunately.

Sapphire walked up to the desk and signed several papers. Sabretooth did the same,he signed the papers. The president smiled and held his hand out. "Welcome to the team,Sapphire and Sabretooth! I'm sure you will be a great deal of help to the world." Sapphire and Sabretooth shook his hand and sat down. The president checked the papers and sat down. "Okay,let Rouge take you to the training section so you two can get started." Sapphire and Sabretooth nodded. They both stood up and walked out the door with Rouge.

Kyo L.: Can't wait to doze off. Not like this damn fic's going to go anywhere decent for the next goddamn text block of doom.

After a while,Rouge and the two hedgehogs arrived at the G.U.N. miltary facility training area.Rouge let them in and led them to a training area. There was a room that had many obstacles,trees,guns,lasers,motion detectors,and more. Rouge stopped in front of the first course. "Okay,this will be your first test,the test of stealth.All you have to do is to run to the other side of the course without being seen by the motion detectors,okay?" Sapphire and Sabretooth nodded. Rouge walked to a keypad that was on the wall,she pushed a few buttons. Small,red beams came out of the wall,moving across the other side of the area. Rouge walked to the entrance. "Okay,this is a way you could get through,here I go!" Rouge ran into the room,she started jumping over,above,and sometimes vanishing. She used her wings to balance herself when she was in mid-air. After a minute of jumping,flipping,and gliding,Rouge landed on the other side. "That was so easy,now Sapphire,you try it!" Sapphire walked up to the entrance. "Okay,Rouge! I'm ready!" Sapphire jumped to the left wall,she jumped off of it and flew over three beams.Then she jumped off the right wall and went under two more beams,she landed on the floor,she somersaulted under the last five and made it to the other side. Rouge smiled with satisfaction. "Wow,I'm very impressed,Sapphire! You managed to pass the stealth test without any flaws!" Sapphire stood up and smiled. "Thanks,my dad taught me how to do it." Rouge smirked. Sapphire waved to Sabretooth. "Sabretooth,try it! It's fun!" Sabretooth grinned and jumped in the air,he vanished. Rouge gasped. "Hey,what happened,where did he go?" Sapphire smirked and laughed a little. Sabretooth suddenly appeared right in front of Rouge. "AHH!!" She jumped back,scared. Sapphire laughed. "He used his vanish! Better be more careful!" Sabretooth chuckled. Rouge calmed down and turned the machine off. "That was very clever! Is that one of Sabre's tricks?" Sabretooth and Sapphire nodded. Rouge smirked. "Hm,very interesting.Let's move to the next test,shall we?" Both hedgehogs nodded. They all walked across the deactivated course and walked to the next one. Rouge stopped in front of a room filled with stone blocks and figures. "Okay,this is your next test,the test of power. All you have to do is to attack the dummies using your own fighting style until they crumble to the ground,okay?" Sabretooth cracked his knuckles. "Finally,something that I'm good at!" Sapphire smiled. "Ready when you are!" Rouge smirked. "Okay,here I go!" Rouge ran at one of the dummies. She jumped in the air and used the homing cutter to slice one of the dummies in half.Then she ised her spiral dive to drill into the dummy,it turned into rubble. Sapphire and Sabretooth gasped and watched as Rouge walked out of the small dust cloud. "Not bad for an agent.Your turn,Sapphire!" Sapphire smiled. "This should be easy!" She ran at one of the dummies,she went at light speed,she clenched her fist,it glowed black. She punched the dummy,it was blown off it's foundation. Sapphire held her hand out,a small black dot appeared,it grew. The glowing dot grew a little before it shot out of her hand at the dummy. The glowing ball hit the dummy,it shattered into pieces. Rouge and Sabretooth gasped as the bright flash faded away. Rouge ran up to her. "Wow,was that from the emerald?" Sapphire nodded. Rouge smirked. "I didn't think that it would have that much power!" Sapphire laughed a little,she then looked to Sabretooth. "Come on,Sabretooth! Show us some power!" Sabretooth grinned,he jumped in the air and vanished. Sapphire grinned. "Watch out,this is going to be messy!" Before Rouge could answer,the dummy was smashed into pieces by the nearly invisible Sabretooth. The dummy was slammed into the wall and kept getting hit by the very fast punches. After a few seconds,Sabretooth appeared in front of Sapphire and Rouge. He stood up and dusted himself off. "Hmph,didn't even break a sweat." Sapphire and Rouge were shocked. "Sabretooth,that was so amazing! Think you can teach me that?" Sabretooth didn't answer. He walked to the next course. "Let's just continue with the test." Sapphire and Rouge shrugged and ran to the next course. They all stopped in front of a room with many holes in the wall. Rouge walked to it. "This is your next test,the test of flexibility. You will run through the course while avoiding the lasers. Don't worry,the lasers are harmless,they will only give a small shock. Okay?" Sapphire and Sabretooth nodded. Rouge smiled and walked to the keypad,she pushed a few buttons. Small red lasers started shooting out of the holes in the walls. Rouge ran into the course,she started flying in the air,going over and under the flying beams.She started jumping from wall to wall,safely avoiding the lasers. After about a minute,she landed on the ground,untouched by the lasers. She turned around and smirked. "Be careful,I almost got hit." Sapphire grinned and clenched her fists. "This is a new trick my mom taught me." Suddenly,a ball of black chaos energy surrounded Sapphire. "I call this the dark shield." Sapphire ran into the firing lasers,the lasers were hitting the black ball,but they didn't hit Sapphire. The ball of energy was acting like a shield to protect her. She quickly got to the other side,the dark shield vanished,leaving a completely unharmed Sapphire. Rouge was completely surprised,Sabretooth chuckled. "Very impressive,Sapphire.You know how to use your powers well." Sapphire smiled. "Thanks." Rouge turned to Sabretooth,she waved to him,signaling to start. Sabretooth grinned and ran into the crossfire,he was jumping from wall to wall,dodging the red lasers. He jumped up from the right wall and vanished,he appeared at the end of the course. Rouge was very satisfied. "That was so neat,kids! I think that's enough training for today,you both are as good as me,I'm very surprised. Maybe tomorrow,we all can start fighting with real challenges." Sapphire and Sabretooth nodded. Rouge smiled and led them out of the training area,they all got some rest. After a while,Sapphire and Sabretooth were able to go home,Rouge led them out of the facility. "I'll be seeing you tomorrow,guys! Get plenty of rest,it's going to be a busy day tomorrow." Rouge waved to them as the two hedgehogs left the facility. "We'll be seeing you tomorrow,Rouge! We'll be ready!" The two hedgehogs sped off back to Station Square.

Amy: *reading a book*
Tomoko: *tapping her foot impatiently*
Mai: *sketching*
Kyo L.: *sighs* See? Pointless block of fucking nothing. What was the point in riffing any of that?
Jayleen: I... am going to begrudgingly agree with your assessment, LeMaire.

Back at Sonic's house,Sabrina and Shadow were outside looking for Sapphire and Sabretooth. Sabrina was getting worried. "Shadow,what if something happened to them,they've been gone all day."

Tomoko: You lounge all day at the damn beach, and yet you're worried about this? Jeez, you panic more than Tsukino.
Amy: You mean Emi? She doesn't have the air of a worrywart to me.
Tomoko: Trust me, she was a pretty big worrier back in the day.

Shadow was looking around,he suddenly saw two yellow blurs ahead of them. "Sabrina,look! I think that's them!" Sabrina looked in his direction and saw two yellow blurs running to towards them. "I think you're right!" The two hedgehogs stopped walking and waited for the other two yellow blurs. The both stopped in front of them and revealed Sapphire and Sabretooth. Sabrina and Shadow ran up to them. "Sapphire,where were you? We were getting worried about you!"

Amy: You couldn't put two and two together, huh? Why do these brainwashed folks praise you all the time?

Sapphire smiled. "We were,um,exploring! We were exploring in the Mystic Ruins!" Sabrina looked to Sabretooth. He said the same thing. Sabrina thought for a minute.

Mai: *snorts*
Kyo L.: That's the closest thing to a laugh for you.
Mai: Hey, I can laugh. I'm not a robot.

"Okay,but next time,let us know where you are before you leave,okay?" Sapphire and Sabretooth nodded. Sabrina and Shadow started walking. "Come on,let's get home to the others." Sapphire and Sabretooth nodded and walked with the two parents. On the way,they were talking. Sabrina started first. "Sapphire,are you glad that you're going to be a big sister soon?" Sapphire nodded. "Of course I am!" Sabrina smiled. "I'm glad you are.And Sabretooth is going to have another cousin,are you glad,Sabretooth?" Sabretooth didn't say anything. Sapphire spoke. "I don't think he knows about these things,we'll let him think about it,right Sabretooth?" Sabretooth nodded.

Amy: It'd be nice if someone would just teach him about families and bonding. Jeez, he's one of the most sympathetic characters in this thing, and the story takes a dump on him every single time.

The four hedgehogs arrived at the house and went inside.Just as they went inside,Sapphire felt strange,like if they were being followed. She turned around,but she didn't see anything. She heard Sabrina calling her. Sapphire shrugged and went inside the house. She walked into the party room,everyone was in there,talking.Sapphire sat down on the couch,she looked to Sabretooth,who was sitting on the other couch. Speedy and Sakura walked to Sapphire and sat down. "Sapphire,where were you?" Sapphire smiled. "I was exploring the Mystic Ruins with Sabretooth.Why are you asking?" Sakura smiled. "We heard that you and Sabretooth have been seeing the president everyday since yesterday,we were think you were hiding something." Sapphire quickly shook her head. Sakura smiled. "Okay. We were just making sure you guys are okay." Sapphire nodded. Sakura smiled and stood up. She started walking away,she suddenly tripped. Speedy ran over and caught her before she fell. Sapphire gasped.Sakura got back up. "Thanks,Speedy." Speedy smiled. "Eh,no biggee,just happy to help you!" Sapphire stood up after Speedy walked away. "Sakura,Speedy just caught you,are you okay?" Sakura smiled. "Yeah,I'm fine. It's just that since your parents went out yesterday,Speedy's been really nice to me,so I'm being nice to him." Sapphire was shocked. "Being nice to you? You being nice to him? Why are you being nice to him,he's been a pain in the neck all our lives!"

Kyo L.: Yeah, how dare he use manners and shit.

Sakura smiled and sighed. "I'm not sure.But I think I'm in love with him."

Amy: *facefaults*
Mai: With what character development?
Kyo L.: It's the magic number that most badfics have. None.

Sapphire gasped. "You,in love with Speedy? Girl,are you feeling okay?" Sakura nodded. Sapphire giggled. "Have you told him yet?" Sakura shook her head. "No,but someday,he will see it.I just know it!" Sapphire smiled. "I have an idea! How about me and Sabretooth help you get to him!" Sakura smiled. "Really,how?" Sapphire stood up. "Maybe,if Speedy sees you with Sabretooth,he'll get jealous and try to get to you!" Sakura smiled. "Really! Can you really do that?" Sapphire smiled nd called Sabretooth. He got off the couch and walked to them. Sapphire grinned. "Sabretooth,can you help me do something for Sakura?" Sabretooth smiled and nodded. Sapphire whispered in his ear. After a minute,Sabretooth jumped away. "WHAT! There is no way I'm doing that!" Sapphire stepped closer to him. "Come on,it's only acting,not the real thing!" Sabretooth backed away. "I don't care,there is no way that I'm acting as Sakura's boyfriend! Not a chance!"

Amy: *still on the floor* Because doing these idiotic acts has always worked in the past!
Tomoko: And what fic is that reminding you of, Rose?
Amy: An extremely terrible fic called "The New Girl".
Kyo L.: Wait, I riffed a fic that was actually called that with my sister. Sonic section, right?
Amy: Yes, but it was not the fic that you riffed, Kyo. It was the one that I riffed with Sonic and Tails. *gets back into her seat* You see, there was a plan to make a bunch of guys jealous so that they could end up with their moronic love interests. Thanks to extremely poor communication, it went horribly. Sonic kissed the Sue because he thought that she was me and she sent him to the hospital for it. The Sue's brother ended up in a fight and got injured. The main Sue never got her comeuppance for that or her other horrible actions.
Kyo L.: Oh. That definitely doesn't sound like the one that I riffed.
Miyu: *shakes her head* It definitely wasn't. I was a backup for Cousin Tails. Sonia and Manic were backups for Amy and Sonic. That fic was a nightmare. Just be lucky that you went to the movies with your sister and missed every bit of that horrible thing.

Sapphire became sad and made puppy eyes at him. "Please do this for us,Sabretooth. Please." Sabretooth turned his head. "No." Sakura started making a puppy face. The two girls started pleading and begging. Sabretooth looked at them and started growling. "How do you know that this is going to work?" Sakura and Sapphire stopped the puppy faces and stood up. "Well,when a guy sees his girlfriend with another guy,he'll get jealous and try to get to his girlfriend,very simple!"

Amy: *promptly explodes into glitter*
Jayleen: I should've put up a warning that says that you shouldn't explode in here. The hedgehogs have been very consistent with keeping their anger in check until now. *sighs* This theater will be a mess by the time this fic is complete. I might as well make you all clean this place instead of the staff.
Mai: *vaccuums Amy up and places the glitter in her seat*
Amy: *reforms, fuming* This is pointless!
Tomoko: *bored* Tell me about it. Even Sabretooth wants none of this crap.

Sabretooth thought for a moment,then he smiled. "Fine! But only once!" Sakura and Sapphire smiled. "Thanks a lot,Sabretooth! We'll start today!" Sabretooth grinned. Sakura and Sapphire smirked. "Okay,Sabretooth,the first thing you need to do is to act like you love her by staying close to Sakura,okay? So when Speedy is around,hold her hand,and talk to her about something,okay?" Sabretooth nodded. Sapphire suddenly saw Speedy walking by. "Sakura,Sabretooth,get ready! Here he comes!" Sakura grabbed Sabretooth's hand and started walking. Speedy was walking to the party room when he saw Sabretooth holding Sakura's hand. Speedy gasped and hid behind a chair,he watched as Sakura and Sabretooth walked by him,they were talking. After they turned a corner,Speedy stood up and growled. "What's he doing with Sakura? This is just too weird! I gotta check this out!" Speedy saw Sapphire,he ran to her and stopped. "Hey Sapphire,what's up with the new couple?" Sapphire giggled. "Sabretooth is Sakura's boyfriend,isn't it obvious?" Speedy looked at the couple as they walked by him again. Sapphire smirked. "What's the matter,Speedy? Are you jealous?" Speedy growled. "NO!" Sapphire giggled and walked away. Speedy growled. "Hm,we'll see about that! They won't be together for long!" Speedy ran to his room.

Kyo L.: This bullshit shouldn't be here. At all. We've had this false love interest crap in the last fic, too.
Tomoko: Useless filler is a thing in this stuff, LeMaire. You should know that by now.

Sapphire ran to Sabretooth and Sakura,she was laughing. "He fell for it! Speedy is already jealous!" Sakura let go of Sabretooth's hand and stepped away. "It really worked! Thank you so much,guys! Especially you,Sabretooth!" Sabretooth smiled. Sapphire gave Sakura a high five. Sapphire started giggling. "Okay,it's getting late,I'm going to bed,we'll continue this game tomorrow!" Sakura and Sabretooth nodded in agreement. "I bet in no time,Speedy will be screaming for you,Sakura!" Sakura smiled. "Yeah! I'm getting tired,I'm going to bed,too.Goodnight,Sapphire.You too,Sabretooth." Sapphire and Sabretooth smiled and walked to their room.

In Speedy's room,Speedy was thinking about Sakura and Sabretooth. "How did those two get together? Doesn't matter!" Speedy sat on his bed,he picked up a picture of Sakura. "Sakura,you may not know,but in my heart,I really care for you." He sighed and put the picture on the drawer next to his bed. He crawled back into his bed and covered up. He continued thinking until he fell asleep.

Amy: *shudders*
Tomoko: Yeah. That's definitely not corny or creepy in any way.

In Sapphire's room,Sabretooth was grumbling over the jealousy act. Sapphire hopped off her bed and walked to him. "Okay,tomorrow,we'll move to part two of the plan. When Speedy comes by,you hold Sakura's hand,if it's outside,do some running. Okay?" Sabretooth backed away. "I said I was only doing it ONCE!" Sapphire smirked. "Come on,Sabretooth! We are both doing this for Sakura,so get used to it!" Sabretooth growled,but then he gave in. "Fine. But if you try something on me,it's over!" Sapphire nodded. "Okay,tomorrow morning,we'll start plan B!" Sapphire ran back to her bed and turned the lights off,they both went to bed.

Mai: And she continues her bullying. *sighs* Why are we supposed to like her?
Kyo L.: Because her name's in the title.
Mai: What a complete waste of a character and my time.

Oh boy,Sabrina and Shadow are expecting another baby! Sabretooth and Sapphire are already expert fighters for being a secret agent! Sakura now has a crush on the little blue blur,Speedy! Sapphire and Sabretooth are now helping her get him to like her! In the next chapter: Sapphire and Sabretooth start Plan B,will it work? Also,Sapphire and Sabretooth started their intermediate training with Rouge! Will they be good enough? Find out in the next chapter!

Amy: No.
Mai: Exactly. I don't want to find out. I'm out of here. *gets up*
Jayleen: Wait just a second, James. In fact, you all need to wait.
Tomoko: The heck are you talking about, Jade?
Jayleen: The pool has reset, and everybody's at risk. The writer and editor have decided to let the random select decide the next set of riffers again.
Kyo L.: Oh, great. Let's hope that our luck ends up better than Benimaru's, then.
Benimaru: *facepalms, groans*

--

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