Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Special Episode 8: Miles "Tails" Prower (Part Two)

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Note: Not only is this Tails's first boss fight in this fanfiction, this is Tails's first fight with his new weapons.

Tails: And it'll be the fight that was written, then copied, and then pasted... over and over again.

So... will he defeat crazy Amy? Let's find out...

Amy: Angry Amy. Don't you compare me to that evil baking lady!

Chapter 3: Tails's First Fight with his new weapons!

Manic: This is gonna suck, isn't it?
Tomoko: You know it's gonna suck, Hedgehog.

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Tails was ready to give Amy everything he had, but, the mysterious voice contacted Tails telepathically again.

"I see... this "Amy Rose" seems to intently love this "Sonic"." realized the voice

"Yeah... you could put it that way..." commented Tails

"But, trying to fight someone to force them to tell her where this "Sonic" is, is going over the line. Especially since you're telling the truth." remarked the voice

"Yeah, but Amy will do ANYTHING, anymore, to find out where Sonic is..." informed Tails

Sonic: She'd stab someone for that. Oh, wait. That was her evil Sue cousin. Never mind.
Manic: Dude, Amy's evil Sue cousin would've stabbed you, too.
Tails: You're implying that she'd only stab him once, Manic.
Sonic: Now I'm getting creeped out here.

"I see. Well... my power is in your hands... remember that, and teach this "Amy" a lesson she'll NEVER forget." informed the voice.

Akiko: Yeah, if you're going to come close to murdering her, it's okay. You're the protagonist. Ugh.
Sonia: I know your disgust. I don't blame you one bit.

Tails was speechless after that, but he just got more serious.

Que: "My Sweet Passion" (Amy's theme; Sonic Adventure 1/2)

Tails: That song is about five minutes long. Can we read a fight scene that lasts five minutes?
Miyuki: No, but this fight scene probably took five minutes to write.

Amy came after Tails and rushed him with her Piko Piko Hammer in hand. She tried to whack him, but Tails just easily dodged by flying into the air. Amy jumped into the air and tried to whack combo Tails in the air, but Tails easily dodged them as well by just dodging the hammer when it came near him.

Akiko: *turns to the audience* Oh, yeah. Get used to that word "combo", folks. You're gonna be seeing it a lot.

Tails side dodged another hammer whack attempt by Amy in the air and he tried to slash Amy with his weapons, but the blades were only the size of a short sword, or at least it seemed that way.

Tomoko: *bored* And then they extended, right? *scoffs*

Tails tried it, and somehow, the blades extended and struck Amy!

Tomoko: I'd say that I was joking, but crappy writing doesn't surpirse me anymore.

Tails was shocked and speechless at the same time, but Tails didn't have time for this, so he quickly shook it off, and continued to slash the crap out of Amy with some duel sword slashing aerial combos.

Sonia: *sarcastically* What a well-crafted fight scene.
Tails: *bored* Uh-huh. Thrilling. Also... it's supposed to be "dual".
Akiko: Better get used to "duel sword slashing aerial combos", too. Usage error and all.
Miyuki: Hold on. This guy is gonna copy and paste his own fight scenes? You mean that Tails wasn't joking about this?
Manic: *whistles* Whoo, boy. This'll take laziness to a whole 'nother level.

He slashed Amy to the ground with a cross-slash in an X shape. Amy hit the ground and hit it hard. Tails gave Amy not rest time and went after her and slashed the crap out of her with some more duel slashing ground combos.

Sonic: Sonic took out a hot dog bun and did some duel splatting aerial combos with a hot dog and chili. Sonic ate the crap out of the chili dog with his duel slashing eating combos.
Amy: *snickers*

Tails spinned once counter-clockwise and struck Amy's stomach with his right weapon. Amy was forced to slide backwards a couple of feet.

Amy: Question. Was "Shadow the Hedgehog" already released before this fic was a thing? I know that the author mentioned the game. I just wanted to know if this fic happened after the game came out.
Tails: *looks it up on his Miles Electric* Yes. This fic was first published in 2006.
Amy: Great. We're in the super edgy dork timeline.

Amy, basically, went somewhat crazy now and somersaulted by jumping into the air and tried to squash Tails with multiple somersaults, vertical, north to south whacks. But, Tails just dodged them by running counter-clockwise around Amy, and it worked, as Amy kept trying to follow him and Tails kept running dodging.

Eventually, Tail sidestepped one of Amy's hammer whack attempts and slashed the crap out of Amy with ground and aerial duel slashing combos ending the same as before, with the X cross-slash.

Akiko: Better get used to "X cross-slash", too. Yeah, these scenes are gonna be so boring.

Amy hit the ground hard and couldn't get up! It was over... Tails actually won!

Tomoko: Yeah, all thanks to his dumb Stu weapons. Power at the cost of his actual character.

End Music

Amy looked up at Tails, and saw the most serious expression in Tail's eyes then she has ever saw before. But... there was something more. She noticed that Tails's eye pupils were glowing light orange, like Tails's weapons.

Sonia: *sarcastically* Clearly, he's the protagonist.

"Tails, what's wrong with you!" demanded Amy

"Nothing. I just beat the crap out of you.

Sonic: *sarcastically claps* Our protagonist, ladies and germs.
Tails: I want a new protagonist.
Sonic: It's... it's you, buddy.
Tails: *offended* No, it isn't!

Why would there be something wrong with me? You shouldn't be going around fighting people just so you find out where Sonic is." suggested Tails.

Miyuki: So... to teach her a "lesson"... you decide to practically send her to the hospital. Sure.

Amy was shocked at this and was speechless. She got up and ran away from Tails, back to the train to go to Station Square.

This was only the beginning of Tails's journey to prove that he's never to be underestimated EVER again.

Manic: Or to prove that he needs those weapons taken away, stat!

To be continued...

P.S.: Wow... go Tails! '

All: *disgusted*
Sonia: What the fuck is wrong with you?
Akiko: Kyo-chan?
Sonia: Kyo-chan. Yes.

Note: Maybe more interesting things today...

Manic: Yeah, right.

see for yourself...

Tails: No.

Chapter 4: Return of the Chaos Emeralds!!

Tomoko: What, Not-Prower's gonna get them all in one fell swoop with his "duel slashing combo" crap?
Miyuki: If he does, I'm quitting.

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After Tails defeated Amy and proved to her he's not to be underestimated,

Sonic: Guess I should've underestimated this guy's narration skills.

Tails knew that one friends was down, but tons more were to go to prove to them that Tails isn't to be underestimated.

Sonia: So... to prove your "I can't be underestimated" garbage, you... beat everyone up. *sarcastically claps* What a friend.

But, Tails didn't seem to care, because Amy was a good start.

Amy: Wow. Just... wow.
Akiko: Seriously, there's a difference between proving yourself to your friends and practically killing them!

All of a sudden... Tails saws tons of different lights appear in the sky, about seven of them. They all flew in different directions.

Manic: I would say that this was a blatant ripoff of "Dragon Ball", but... you know.

But, one in particular, came straight at him!!

Sonia: And then it hit him so hard that a hole ended up in his head. Tails underestimated that Chaos Emerald.

Tails quickly jump sidestepped to the left to avoid the object from hitting him, and the object hit the ground hard, creating some dust after it hit the ground. Tails coughed and held his right arm in front of his eyes to prevent any dust from entering his eyes and shook his left arm out in front of him to disperse the dust. Once the dust settled, Tails looked to see what hit the ground. Once he saw what it was, Tails was shocked, wide-eyed, and speechless.

Tails: *bored* This was the best paragraph that I've ever read.

It looked like a diamond, but it was yellow and also glew yellow. It was... a Chaos Emerald?!

"A Chaos Emerald?! Here?! But why...? Wait a minute... that means that those lights were... the Chaos Emeralds?!

Miyuki: *points to the chapter's title* What was your first clue?

So... the Chaos Emeralds have returned to normal again. True, it's been awhile since the Metarex incidents...

Sonic: Aww, man! And it's after "Sonic X"? Why?
Akiko: Um, what happened with the Chaos Emeralds?
Tails: The Metarex drained the Emeralds of their power thanks to their forestation project. Of course, their power was restored in the end.

but that could only mean one thing... something bad is about to happen..." thought and realized Tails.

Tomoko: You mean this fic?

Tails grabbed the emerald and held it out in front oh him.

"I guess this would be the best time, if any, to test out my new invention. The Chaos Emerald tracker..." realized Tails.

Tails: Uh... it's not that new...

Tails has always studied the energy of the Chaos Emeralds with all of his technology. He created a tracker that would pinpoint the EXACT location of the Chaos Emeralds, but he only had a huge version on the spaceship he built. He was working on a handheld tracker that you could carry around with you, and all that it needed to work, was anther Chaos Emerald.

Amy: If you hit your head and developed amnesia, then it's new.

Tails hurried to his workshop and got his Chaos Emerald locator that looked like a radar with latitude and longitude lines on it, and put in the Chaos Emerald in the back of it under a battery-like slot, except the size was big enough to fit the emerald, and closed the slot.

Sonia: Wow. Want to hold my hand and lead me off a cliff next?
Miyuki: You're gonna land on some seriously spiky rocks.
Sonia: It'll be less painful than reading the rest of this thing.

The locator activated immediately. And, there was actually a Chaos Emerald nearby!!

Manic: *halfheartedly waves his hands around* Whoopee.

"Hmm... according to the status of the other emerald... this other one seems to be in the nearby mountains..." realized Tails.

Tomoko: Nothing says "nearby" like being in the damn mountains.

Tails quickly grabbed a small backpack to fit all the stuff he needed, and got in his Tornado plane and headed to the mountains.

It didn't take long for Tails to reach the mountains, and once he did, it didn't take long to find his second chaos emerald. It was the white one. Tails could only smile big.

"Man... I'm good!!" smiled Tails

Sonia: Sure, you activated a flippin' radar to pinpoint the exact location... using a device that we already know exists. But you're good, Clone Tails.

Tails headed back home, and it was late already as the sun was setting. Two was good enough, for now, so Tails headed for bed.

The next morning...

Manic: Someone stole the Chaos Emeralds, so Tails rushed the thief down with his duel slashing ground combos.

Tails woke up and stretched, then headed outside. He started to head for the train to go to Station Square, but, he was stopped, again.

"Hey Tails!! Stop right there!!" yelled an angry, and familiar voice.

Akiko: Must've been a reader that hated this fic.

Tails turned around, and there he was. The easily tempered, but strong and powerful, echidna, also known as Knuckles.

"Oh... hey Knuckles!!" smiled Tails, although Tails wasn't really that happy to see Knuckles, because Tails knew what Knuckles wanted.

"You saw the Chaos Emeralds yesterday, didn't you?!" demanded Knuckles

"Yeah, I did. Why?" asked Tails

Amy: Uh... he's the guardian, you dummy! Pretty sure that he has a right to know! Sure, he guards the Master Emerald, but the Chaos Emeralds are a part of his business, too!

"Don't act like you don't know, Tails!! I saw you yesterday!!" informed Knuckles, angrily.

Tails then got in a somewhat defensive stance

"I saw one of the chaos emeralds head straight toward you!! You dodged it, but then you picked it up and kept it for yourself!!" accused Knuckles

"So?! There's nothing wrong with that!!" remarked Tails

Sonic: Pretty sure it is -- wait, why are you the protagonist if you can't understand this simple stuff?
Sonia: Selfishness is not supposed to be a positive character trait.

"You fool!! The chaos emeralds re-activating again could only mean that something bad is going to happen!!" announced Knuckles

"And...?" asked Tails

Miyuki: Well, this story's happening. That's already a bad thing.

"And you need to hand over that emerald!! Sorry Tails... but you're just not strong enough to be trusted to protect them. So just hand the emerald over!! You should know by now that the emeralds are only in good hands when Sonic, or me have them. So hand it over!!" demanded Knuckles

Tails: Uh... Knuckles would never say anything like that. This author just threw him out of character to make this terrible version of me look better in comparison.
Tomoko: Bad writing isn't supposed to follow logic, Prower. You know this.

Tails just looked angrily at Knuckles

"No way!! The emerald is mine!! I'm strong enough to protect it on my own!!" assured Tails

"I don't have time to argue with you Tails, I really don't!! I guess I'll have to take them the hard way then" declared Knuckles

Knuckles took out his Shovel Claw, and put them on his knuckles, making his knuckles more sharp.

Amy: Yes, because claws clearly don't add anything to them. *rolls her eyes*
Akiko: Seriously, this fic's having a fun time talking down to the audience. Maybe that's why I'm starting to hate it.

Tails took out his weapon as well and got in his fighting stance. Knuckles seemed shocked that Tails had a new weapon, but it also seemed like Knuckles didn't care.

It was better this way... because that way, Tails could prove to Knuckles that he's never to be underestimated ever again.

Manic: *groans in annoyance* Holy shit, we get it, fic! *in a mocking tone* Tails should never be underestimated ever again. *normal voice* Seriously, we get it, author. You're just padding this crap out with the same old repetitive crap, and it's starting to bug the piss outta me.
Sonia: Ah. We've finally found your berserk button, Manic. It's blatant repetition. You weren't too keen on that when we riffed "The Ultimate Pokemon Master", and you're losing your patience here.
Manic: Great. It's the button I never wanted to press. I don't like being so grouchy, sis.

But could he? It certainly wouldn't be easy... but let's just hope Tails can do it...

Sonic: Who cares? He'll just do those dumb "duel slashing aerial combos" and win. Big whoop.

To be continued...

P.S.: Well... Knuckles and Sonic have always expected Tails to hand over Chaos Emeralds when he finds them.

Tails: No, they haven't! They can trust me with an Emerald or two.
Sonic: *nods*

It's not fair, in my opinion, it's just more proof of his underestimation.

Amy: So you're just proving that you're having a bias and putting it in. Guess what? That's the surefire sign of bad writing.
Tomoko: Great. Now we're just reading puke in word form. Man, I didn't ask for this crap.
Sonia: Nobody did.

Note: Can Tails beat Knuckles?

Amy: Yeah. Duh.

Well... let's find out...

Amy: No. I don't want to.
Sonia: Too bad. You have to.

Chapter 5: Taking on Knuckles!!

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Tails was ready to take on Knuckles, but the voice contacted him again.

"You're being unbelievably underestimated.

Manic: *annoyed* Yeah, we know, disembodied voice. Shut up.
Amy: *removes Manic's dunce cap and proceeds to fold it into a boat*

I really don't blame you for wanting to gather the Chaos Emeralds by yourself, and protecting them on your own, and also

Miyuki: *as the voice* ...lording your Stu self over everyone else.

not handing them over to this "Sonic" or this "Knuckles" character." informed the voice

"Yeah. It's truly sad, and I HATE being underestimated, especially by my so called friends..." announced Tails

"My power has started to flow within your body... do not worry..." assured the voice

Akiko: Um... I'm pretty sure that these swords are evil. The voice is literally telling him to go against his friends!
Sonia: That IQ of his is seriously on the fritz.
Tomoko: He's not gonna figure any of this out until the end of this dumb thing. He's that moronic and power hungry. It's a sure sign of self destruction.

Tails was speechless and a little freaked out by the voice's last comment, but he didn't really care, because he was focusing on the more important matter; defeating Knuckles.

Tails: Or almost killing Knuckles.

Que: "Unknown from M.E." (Knuckles them; Sonic Adventure 1/2)

Sonic: How far in the song are we gonna get until he gets smacked up?
Manic: Uh, just the "Here I come" part.
Sonic: The verse?
Manic: No, just "Here I come".
Sonic: Heh.

Knuckles came after Tails and Tails quickly flew into the air and let Knuckles run under him. Tails quickly landed and extended his blades and doing a successful ground duel slashing combo

All: *groans*
Sonia: Here we go again.
Amy: I swear, anyone who likes fight scenes is seriously going to be bored to death.
Miyuki: Amy, you know that Akiko's here, right?
Akiko: *slumped over, nonchalantly waves at Amy* Hi.
Amy: Oh, yeah... hello.

that Tails ended by spinning around counter-clockwise and hitting Knuckles' back horizontally, left to right, with his right weapon, forcing Knuckles forward a couple of feet.

Manic: *slams two decks of cards on the table* Poker or Uno?
Miyuki: War.
Manic: War?
Miyuki: Yes. Because we're in a war with this fic.

But, Knuckles recovered quickly and quickly rushed Tails. It was to fast for Tails to react, and Knuckles tried to punch combo Tails, and

Tomoko: ...a drinking game was made for every time the word "combo" was said in these shitty fight scenes.
Akiko: Guess we should be happy that Jess isn't here. She'd fall over drunk so fast.
Tomoko: *slams a bottle of sake down on the table* Good. Then she can't steal a drop of this.

Tails tried to dodge Knuckles' punches when they came near him, and he did. Knuckles tried to uppercut Tails with is right hand, but Tails jumped backward and quickly extended his blades again, successfully doing another ground duel slashing combo,

Tomoko: *takes a shot* One. Wait, two shots. "Duel slashing combo" is there. *takes another shot*
Tails: *sighs as he boots up a random program on his Miles Electric* I don't know what I'll be doing, but I definitely won't be reading that awful fight scene.

but this time, when Tails spinned

Sonia: Spun.

around counter-clockwise once, he hit Knuckles into the air with an underhand, backward slash with his right weapon and quickly followed Knuckles by flying into the air and continued attacking Knuckles with an aerial duel slashing combo

Everyone except Tomoko: Drink!
Tomoko: *takes two shots*
Sonia: Four shots... in one giant run-on sentence so far.

that ended the same way as before, with Tails' X cross slash

Tomoko: I know that I'm not supposed to drink to that... but I'm doing it, anyway. *takes a shot*

that forced Knuckles to hit the ground, and he hit it hard.

Amy: I guess the author forgot to add "with a thud".

Knuckles quickly jumped up and jumped into the air and tried to aerial punch combo Tails, but Tails just moved out of the way when the punches came near him. Knuckles tried to dash punch Tails in the air; big mistake.

Miyuki: Combo!
Everyone except Tomoko: Drink!
Tomoko: *takes a shot*
Sonic: Why would he do that? Pretty sure that he'd lose even more altitude. Wait, wait, why am I even saying this? Knuckles already knows how to fight. He's a good hand-to-hand guy. Why would he forget everything about his fighting skills?
Sonia: Sonic... are you reading the same crappy fic that we are? Everyone has to be dumb in their fighting ability so Tails the Stu can shine with those stupid edgelord weapons. This will include Rouge, this will include Shadow, and this will also include you.
Sonic: Oh, boy. Can't wait to see how bad this fic will treat me. It'll probably be like every other bad story that treats me like garbage.

Tails flew to the left to dodge it, then went crazy on Knuckles with some pretty harsh, and intense, aerial duel slashing combos.

Everyone except Tomoko: Double drink!
Tomoko: *takes two shots* Seven.

Tails even did some counter-clockwise spinning slashes, where Tails was spinning in diagonal counter-clockwise circles and slashing Knuckles multiple times!! Tails was hurting Knuckles pretty badly, believe it or not!!

Amy: *bored* Trust me, I refuse to believe it.

Tails ended it with his X cross slash,

Sonia: *sips her lemon tea* I didn't spike mine with alcohol, but that's okay.

forcing Knuckles to hit the ground hard again.

Tails: *flatly* Thud.

Knuckles got up, but he was to injured to continue, and he knew it, he was just pissed off. It was over, Tails beat Knuckles!!

Akiko: *boos*
Miyuki: *snickers*
Akiko: Seriously, this is so lame! Is this what the rest of this fic is gonna be like? Tails does a thing, a random character confronts Tails, then a dumb fight scene happens with the same "duel slashing combo" stuff! This cannot be what this fic is gonna be like!
Miyuki: We've read two setups to a fight scene and two fight scenes. This fic is gonna be like this.

End Music

"Why?!" demanded Knuckles; Tails snapped now.

"Why?! WHY?! Because you guys underestimate me too much!! That's why!!" announced Tails, angrily

"Sonic will hear of this!!" threatened Knuckles

Tails: *as Knuckles* Lord Sonic will hear of this! You will pay with your life one day, Prower the Peasant!

"Good!!!" remarked Tails

Sonic: *sarcastically* Our protagonist.
Sonia: I'm starting to hate this fic a little.
Manic: "A little". Yeah, right, sis. You hate this fic.

Knuckles didn't even make an attempt to go tell Sonic what's going on. He started limping his way back home.

It was starting to become clear... Tails was becoming more powerful, but how? How...?

Miyuki: Those dumb anime swords are the reason. Seriously, do you think we're too dumb to figure it out?
Tomoko: This guy does.
Amy: If this keeps up, we'll be reading this fic in a semi-conscious state.
Manic: Maybe we should start dropping acid. We'll be hallucinating a better story.

To be continued...

P.S.: Sweetness!!! Tails rocks your socks!!! ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Tails: No. Just no. Stop this, please.
Sonic: Nope. The torture will continue until morale improves.
Akiko: *groans*

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