Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Special Episode 2: Brewdening Love (Part Twelve)

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34 – SINNAR

Manic: Chapter Thirty-Four, Part 2: Electric Boogaloo.
Sonic: Well, it was bound to be a chapter title someday.

A/N: I WASH EVIL SINNARS WOOD STOP PRETENDING TO BE MI FRIENDS.

Amy: Is it possible to wash wood?

THAT EVIL SINNAR ISNT BECCA, ITS AN MEEN PERSON THATS PRETENDING. COZ MY FRIENDS DON HAVE DAS YET> AND II NO BECASE I GO TO SCHOOL WIT THEM.

Cassy: Insert another English class joke here.

0o0o0o0oo0oo0o0oo0oo0oo0oo00oo0oo0o0o0oo0oo0oo0o

One day me and becca where going to the mouvies, we were going to see a sexah romanac together .

Sonia: And once again, homosexuality is a "sin" in this fanfic.
Miyu: *pushes glasses up* She's seriously not fooling anyone with those oddly homoerotic undertones.

We were sitting in the dak cinema and then Becca turned into AN UGLAH WITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Jessie: Why can't we just go back to the actual lack of plot here?

"NOOOOOOO" I sreamed. "WHERE IS THE REEL BETTA?"

Cassy: Will the real Becca please stand up?

"I AM THE REEL BECCA" THE UGLAH WITCH Said.

Amy: Um, You're the Wicked Witch of the West, right? I think Oz is calling. They want you to return there. Thanks.

"NO U R NOT!!!!!" I said as the witch tired to pout a spell on me.

Manic: *singing* I put a spell on you... because you're miiiiiine...

I ran away, The evil witch fallowed me, shouting magic at me (BUT MAGIC ISNT REEL,)

Kyo: And you shutting the hell up doesn't seem to be real, either.

Then I went out side and Becca came the door

"Becca, there is an evil watch pretending to be you," I told her scarredly.

"OMG," SAID THE REEL BECCA!

Sonic: *as Becca* Quick! We must destroy the evil Timex who thinks that she is a Rolex!

"We both started running to get away from the uglah watch. I was all scared and then.

Sonia: Yes, even in the face of danger, we're supposed to care about you and you only.
Manic: Selfish much?

THE POPE CAME WITH HIS POPESTICK.

Cassy: Pfft...
Miyu: Cassidy...
Manic, Cassy: *laughing*

The pope came the witch and dispersed her. She bunt up into peices and then me and Becca where safe from the EVIL SINNARS THAT PRETEND TO BE MY FRIENDS.

Jessie: "Plot Convenience Theater" is seriously getting on my last nerves.
Sonia: No kidding.

\"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111\"

I yellowed as brian put the fire in the jail. My dad was in there.

Sonic: Whoa, I think my neck just broke when we zipped through those scenes!

"YOUR BURNING MY DAD WITH FIRE!!!!!11" I got anger.

Kyo: Dur-hay, you idiot!

"YOU CANNOT GET UR DAD OUT OF JAIL, HE IS A FALLEN!"

Brian was so meen, I cant belief I fought he was uba hot. I was glad I didn't dump ward for him.

Amy: Or Jacob. Or Guy Number Three. Or that other guy who may or may not have reeked of fish.

(ERIN; BRIAN ISNT HOMO WITH JOANS DAD COZ THATS NOT CHRISTAIN AND NONE OF MY CHARROTERS ARE GAY!)

Miyu: *adjusts glasses* From Chapter One, and I quote from Joan's perspective: "He is so hot and I dcide want to be his boyfriend." Do you remember that, Erin? Do you?
Sonic: That's only the tip of the iceberg there.
Miyu: I know, Sonic.

"Joan, we have to go and fight your dad,"

Kyo: Let me get this straight... your dad's in jail, he's this close to being set on fire... and you want to fight him?

Ward told me and we leaf.

Sonic: After they made like a tree.
Sonia: And now I can boo you off in the style of the Apollo Theater!
Sonic: Don't spite me, sis.
Sonia: You brought it on yourself.

I was in the car crying hard and my check was wet. Ward looked at me with a sexah eye.

Manic: Yeah, I'm sure that doin' it can cause a lot of checks to get wet.
Miyu: Yikes.

"We will find where brain put him and get hime out." Ward said, But I was ova tired to get dad out of jail becase brian kept beating.

"WE HAVE TO KULL BRIAN!" Alice said and we agreed.

Cassy: Hey, what the hell happened to "Thou Shalt Not Kill"?
Jessie: I'm pretty sure she only read the parts of the Bible where it said that you should save yourself for marriage, and she also read the part where homosexuality is supposed to be a sin. She probably gave the finger to everything else in between.

0o0o0o0o0o0oo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0oo0o0o0o

Erin: Stop tiring to make my charroters gay, they aren't homo, u sinnars.

All: Says the sinner.

Chapper 35

Jessie: I'm feeling quite "chapper" myself.

A/N: HEY EVERY1!!!11111

Everyone except Kyo: Go away...
Kyo: Sick of her crap.

I have bean weigh because it twaz the seeson and I and the folks headed to a friend of the family's farm for the holidays! They had ducks and shit, it was totally awesome.

Cassy: Yeah, dude!
Everyone else: *stares at Cassy*
Cassy: *laughs nervously*

And a late Marry Chritmas! Everyone, please hank Jesus for being our salvation many a year a go. Coz it was his birday and we need to remember him. No one likes an ungrateful do they? No one wants to be Jewdas-like! OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111>!?

All: Yak, yak, yak...

But now I am back now, and omg I saw New Moon over the brek too. OMFG WARD IS SO HOT IN THAT and I guess Taylob is too but meh, WARD IS AWESOME!11 I hope 1 day I can meet Rob Pattersun.

Sonic: Protip: He's not interested in you fangirls.

oOoo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

ERin: OK, SPECIAL NOTE! It's been a while sinse I wrote some of this so I forgot some things. Blame the ducks hahah!1

Amy: You forgot what was in your own story? Seriously?
Miyu: *adjusts glasses* Don't worry, Amy. I'd like to forget that it existed in the first place.
Amy: Oh, don't we all?

Um so yeah, the story happen now 3 months later and yeah.

Sonia: Now let's get back to our weirdly paced piece of nonsense, children.

Edwoe was shitting in the car and I was beside hymn.

Sonic: It's been a while since we've seen that word, huh?
Manic, Kyo, Cassy: Yes, my brother!
Jessie: Um... he's taking a shit in his car. You're kind of praising that, too.

"We can get married soon, my sweat."

Manic: Why the hell would you want to marry sweat? That's kind of gross.
Miyu: "Kind of"?

I said coercingly,

Amy: Is that a word?
Sonia, Miyu: No, Amy.
Amy: Oh.

happi ass becoz we would be marryed and then God wouldn't hate us for having made love (ERIN PLEASE REVIEW: Did I make Bella do that?). Becoz making love is not a sin when you are merryed.

Jessie: Your name is "ERIN PLEASE REVIEW"? That's a weird name.
Kyo: Too bad that being a dumbass isn't a sin.

We went to my dads hose and he was at the table. I was glad he had been resued from Brian but yeah he was still a bit of a douche to me.

Kyo: And you're still an asshole, so I guess nothing's changed after all!

"Joan! Jone!" He called thankfully, as I walked past. I was wearing a long blue carthagian with a long black miniskirt so we went to my rom and shut the door. I rolled my emerad eyes under my lushous leyelashes.

Sonic: You know what? Forget the "Nobody cares" stuff... I think I just want to see someone strangle her to death now.
Sonia: Pride's a sin, and so is murder. I know, it's ironic from someone who prizes her looks a bit.

He seriously needs to chill, it was Ward who did most of the saving anyway, and by allowing us to marry (and thus making it cool with God)

Cassy: ...after you constantly told Him to go screw Himself throughout the whole thing...

with his blessing he had already thanked him. I looked over and Jenny was sitting the bed, modenstly dress as she had just came from Father James Holden's prayer service (Erin: It is Sunday.)

All: No, really?!

"Oh my god Joan!" She shriveled as she ran ab jump hugged me, "Joan, how was your trip in the countryside? I missed you so much girl!"

Amy: Why the heck is she a human prune?

"Yeah I mossed you too." I replied.

Sonia: *as Erin/Joan* And then my thoughts molded over.

"Oh heyo Joan!" Said Becca, who was behind Jenny and i hadnt noticd.

"Oh hi!" I said.

"Hello ladys." Ward charmed at them. They sooned.

All: We vomited.

"Hello Wao!!!!111" They blissfully said backwards to him.

"I was the country too!" He beamed.

Jessie: Well, at least it beats turning into the window.

"OH! I missed you 2!" Denny said as she went over and gave him a quick, PLUTON HUG.

Sonic: What the heck is a "pluton hug"?
Miyu: It's supposed to be a platonic hug, Sonic.
Sonic: Thanks. Maybe I should've brushed up on my ability to translate nonsense into English.

She then backed off to the bed and we all sat down.

"How is Em?" "Oh good" She replied. We would be going that night to see the other Cullens at dinner. Jen loves Em.

All: That's nice, dear.

We spent hours talking about the past few months and reliving our memories. Going to Forks High. Fighting Jomes. Rome. Jay and me. Brian and the kidnapping. It was awesome, and we al even watched Gossip Girl for a bit, the episode where Hillary D came into it was on and that made Becca really hapy (Enir: she thinks H Duff is awesome but I dunno I think she's lost her touch recently, probably because she's sort of unwholesome now you know? Sorry becca, I know you like her but um yeah sorry). We talked and talked and taked.

Sonic: *snores*
Amy: *tries to nudge Sonic* Hey--
Kyo: Let me give this one a shot, Amy.
Amy: Um... okay...
Kyo: *slaps Sonic on the back of his head* Wake up!
Sonic: *quickly wakes up, rubs his head* Ouch! I'm awake, man! I'm awake!
Kyo: Heh.

I looked over to Ward, and smiled. He was so handsome and perfect, and I will one day be his wife.

Cassy: I think I just heard the sound of thousands of bad writers hitting their heads on their keyboards, thinking that their self-inserts are now Mr. Abusive's true love interest.

But then in my mind there was Jay instead of Ward and!

Manic: Okay... care to finish that sentence, Miss "Hell's Kitchen" editor?

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOO

Erin: SOOOO what do you think faithfol reeders?!

All: *as Jay Sherman* It stinks!

I wished you all a merry Chrisntmas, and I hop you had a good time til mow!1 :3

Jessie: This is from the same person who wanted us to go to a first class Hell. Yeah, sure.

Chapter 36

NOT JAY@!!!!! I scrome, running out the room as much as posible.

Edward came after me, and grabbed my arm. His vice grib was soft and passionatly cold.

Amy: Um, vice grips aren't soft. Or sexy.
Sonic: Maybe she's into those torture kinks.
Sonia: *shudders*

I turned to hymn tears rivers upon my fae. How could I have betrailed hymn?!

Manic: Because you're a hypocrite!
Everyone else: Hallelu... huh?
Manic: I didn't ask you all to praise that. Wake up.

"Wat do you mean 'Not J?" He asked concened.

I cried. "I fought Jay was hot when I locked at you insteed of you was hotwhen I looked at you!"

Cassy: What the flying hell are you talking about, dude?! Speak English!
Kyo: Sorry, Goth Kitty. Like you said earlier... this is chicken scratch.

Ward looks at me in surprise and utter disbeleaf. His beatiful rogue lips began to quiver softly, and his olluring Amber eyes frosted with tears.

Manic: Those are some evil lips.
Jessie: And those are some weird freezer burned eyes.

He was almost cring; I had hurt him so badly and I didn't know what to do :'(

Kyo: Can you off yourself? That'd be great.

He turned from me brewdingly. "Bella,"

All: Ha, title dr -- Bella?!

He said, "I am hurt. You found me not sexah?!"

Miyu: *adjusts glasses* Um... we never found you sexy to begin with.

He turned around and had unbuttoned the front of his shirt. He lay bare to me lik a cream pasty of manliness, so delous and loving.

Cassy: At least none of us made crepes or anything. I'd never look at a cream filling properly.
Sonia: But Amy made a shortcake... that has a whipped cream topping.
Amy: *mumbling* Great. Stupid fic made everyone skip my dessert...

His abnobnimals were twitching in angxiety, as were his large manly peckers.

Kyo: The hell is this? Am I looking at some creepy tentacle porn now?

I wanted to caress hymn and tell that I love hymn and was sorry but I didn no what to do about it! T_T

Sonic: And He said that you should stop your angsting over this trivial nonsense!
Manic, Kyo, Cassy: Hallelujah... I guess. Whatever.

(Erin: That sadness expreshun is from anime but I'm not a weeboo ok?!

All: Sure, you aren't!

I fell into his arms and cried. "I am sorry Ward, I'm sorry I ever dobed your sexahnes...I didn't men too."

Jessie: You did some men, too? My, oh, my...
Miyu: I don't think that's what it says, Jessie.
Jessie: Really? Can you translate that sentence, then?
Miyu: *pushes glasses up* Well... um... it's quite simple. She doubted his sexiness.
Jessie: Wow, she's shallow.

He shoved me away, and I felt like the dust bitah rtiin the world.

Kyo: Okay, now translate that sentence, Miyu.
Miyu: Um... I'm just as confused as you are, Kyo.
Kyo: Welcome to the club.

"I love you 2, Joan," He spat at me sorta, "But you need to sort out who you really loaf. DO IT NOW!"

Amy: What? Did you ask me which loaf I love? Okay, give me the cinnamon one with the tiny raisins in it.

He creamed and ran out the window,

Sonia: That's got to be the one trail that I will never follow.

leaving me alone with the others who had come oput to check the conmotion. I cried at them.

Manic: Why're you crying at the people? They don't know what's goin' on!.

O o o o o o o o o O

"You alright to go in there hun?" Becca, who patted me cumforting.

Cassy: *snickering* I feel like an immature teenager.
Kyo: You are an immature teenager.
Cassy: Oh, bite me, dude.

I nodded if there was one thing I had to do it was sort out who I lived althogh I new I loved Ward and NOT JAY. JAY IS AN EVIL DOG BITCH WHO IS FAT AND UGLY AND MEAN AND HAS DIRTY DKRTY HARE!!!

Jessie: Yeah, he's really got to wash that rabbit.
Sonic: Jeez, this girl has pulled one massive Kathryn on our butts!

I kissed Becca good bye and left her Mufstang.

Manic: Oh, you do not want to know what my brain has interpreted.
Sonia: I don't think I want to know.

I went inside the beutiful church, hopping to receve help from the place I had gotten it very otter time. Tis the Glory of Thyne Lord, to look after His Sheep (Somewhere in Job). Fatter Holden was weighing for me in the ater.
"I pleasured you came!" He said wehn he saw me.

Sonic: *raises an eyebrow* Um... I thought we were over those sex scandals, guys.

"You have bean a god Christina and God is also merry at you."
I blanked. "He told you?"
Father Holden laughed. He has a nice laugh. "He told me? Yes, he did through the teavcings he laid out for us, and you so honorably fillow. Is this about Weed?"

Manic: Weed?! All right!
Kyo: I think that I'm actually going to need some to get through the rest of this fic. I heard that everything's funnier when you're stupidly high.

I cried and felt into the good father's arms, take us both to the ground crashingly after hitting the alter on the way down. I apollogised.
"I'm so sorry Fatter!" I gased.

Sonia: *rolls her eyes* Yes, being clumsy is incredibly cute. I don't think I've heard that in "Twilight" before!

He said it was alright. "It's alright...so, what is this about Ward, dear Erni?"
I told him; I couldn't pick between the irresistabley, sexah Ward and the nasty, ugly yet somehow also kind of sexah and devoted Jay. He nodded.

Miyu: Next thing you know, somebody will praise the series for the hidden messages of racism in them.
Sonia: Someone already did.
Miyu: *sighs* Wonderful.

I assued him I wouldn't do anything nasty like EVAL SINNING THONGS until we got marrid. He smilled.

Jessie: Great, now she's insulting my wardrobe.

"I know them both and they are both good Christians. There is no real difference betwen the purity of their heats.

Manic: And once again, you do not want to know what I have just pictured.
Cassy: *snickers* I think I do.
Manic: Then you have some issues that need to be discussed.
Cassy: *laughs* You hypocrite!

You will have to think Joan; do you love Ward or Jay? If one of them was going to save, and you could only save one, who would you die?"

All: *flatly* Edward.

Ward. No. Jay. Ward. Jay. WaedJayWadJomeswards-BAH!

Sonic: Holy Toledo, her brain broke even further! I did not know that was even possible!

I didn't know. He put a hand on my shoulder, undersaningly. He took my outside, and up the hill.

Amy: Does he push her off next?
Sonia: You wish he would do that.

"Joan, when I am faced with diffcult desision I cannot deside, I stand here where the sun shines brightest and let the lord guide me. I think this is where you should do now.
"Ok." I said.

Cassy: Can't get any more convenient than that! No, sir!

I stood and closed my bautiful emerald eyes. I felt the sun shine warmly on my peach cream skin, my long aubum hare and my totally hot Victoria Bekham design, with sliming balck at the waste and a gorgous angular skirt that daggers at the ground.

Kyo: Can I throw a boiling hot cup of "Shut the Fuck Up" at her now?

I stodd, and thought. I felt the words come to me as the warm golden light shone upon me. I looked up at the sky.

Manic: Since you've decided to look at that unique part of the sky... that'll be ten bucks, please. All proceeds go directly towards the poor souls who riff badly done material and cannot afford any brain bleach for the time being.

Both Ward and Jay were standing there large like those dream sequents TV shows have. They were both shitless and hawt but smelling down at me innocently as well.

Cassy: *laughing* That line just riffs itself! I'm sorry!

I smil back and waved. I gased, because in my head it seamed like the nice light was actually coming specifically from (Erin: Edited out to keep ya guessing!)!!!

Amy: You suck at cliffhangers, ma'am.

He was the one golden showering me in this !

Everyone except Kyo and Cassy: Eww!
Kyo: Oh, that's just sick.
Cassy: *laughing loudly*

I scremed in joy and ran down the hill and into Beccas car, telling her that no matter how much lipstick she had on her lips would always look a bit ugly so to drop the fucking lippy

Miyu: *adjusts glasses* Um... wow. There's no other way to say this. I hate you.
Sonic: She's the worst friend ever.
Sonia: She only gets away with her heinous actions because she's a Sue.

and to drive to (Eirn: EDITED)'s Place so I could tell hymn!!!!!!111
I thanked god.

Jessie: *lifts her middle fingers* Thank these.
Everyone else: Halle-freaking-lujah!

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