Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Riffer Recruits, Episode 1: Catwoman: Rebirth (Part Ten)

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Chapter 14:

All Fun and Games

(Part 1)

Isis swiftly leaped into her apartment's broken window. Felix swiftly jumped in after. Isis stripped away her vinyl suit as she walked towards the kitchen, leaving the clothes where ever they lay.

She laid the pouch--earlier attached to her hip--on the counter. She flung open the refrigerator door and grabbed a quarter full gallon of milk. She tilted it back finishing it off. When she was done, she slammed the empty jug on the table. She let out a breath for air and licked her milk covered lips, "Mmmm...purr," she sighed.

Miyuki: Okay, she's purring, sighing, and who knows what else. This is getting ridiculous. All this "Hey, she's a cat!" stuff is seriously getting ridiculous.
Tails: Especially since cats are mainly lactose intolerant to cow's milk...

She picked the jewels back up and went to her bed room. In her room was a chest under her at the foot of her bed. She opened it up and inside was the already stolen cat statue. She added to her collection and placed the freshly stolen jewel neatly next to the statue, "I'm gaining quite the collection."

Tomoko: And that crap's going to be harder and harder to hide. And she never fixed up that broken window. She's got the brain the size of a pea here.

Once she closed the chest, Felix jumped on top of it, "Somebody looks tired," Isis noticed. She turned around and realized the mess of clothes she had left in the floor, "Better clean that up first," she sighed.

She searched the floor for the pieces of her costume and tucked them away under her bed. After that she climbed into her comforting bed, Felix warming a spot next to her. Isis found a comfortable position and began thinking aloud, "What am I doing...? All these jewels and no place to go. Maybe I should think about finding a partner..."

She soon fell asleep.

Akiko: Uh... I thought that cat burglars usually worked alone.
Miyuki: Why not? Nothing beats backstabbing your partner when things go out of hand!

Isis had slept late and today was Thursday's noon. She rolled out of bed complete her 'morning' tasks. Walking past the chest of stolen treasures

Akiko: *waves her hands around* Because they're mysterious!

she patted the lid with pride. She was getting pretty good at this, even for just the second night. "I just need to get rid of this Batman character. He always ruining my fun..." she glared at the thought.

Tomoko: *bluntly* Yeah, how dare he do those useless things like "stopping crime" and crap. What a jerk.

She wrapped up her morning routine and got dressed. The usually ' Isis' attire; a very retro, Goth look.

Tails: Of course she did. Of course.

Isis really wasn't going for the 'Goth' appearance; it just seemed to reflect from her tragic inner being.

Miyuki: *slams her face on the table*
Tomoko: Oh, not this stupid "tragic goth" crap.
Akiko: *rings a bell*
Cassy: *looks inside* Yeah? I know, another cat pun, right?
Akiko: Uh-uh. Just read this, Cass.
Cassy: *stretches as she reads* ...dude, why?
Tails: I think it's obvious, Cassy. Apparently, every Gothic person has a tragic past.
Cassy: *scoffs* Yeah, if you wanna call me playing the trumpet "tragic". *as she leaves* Stupid damn Sues. They really need to try something new for once...

But even before her family's mysterious deaths, she seemed to have the retro look. Her hair usually did this spiky flipped out at the bottom and it usually had a cool messy look to it.

Tails: Hey, her family's dead, but let's talk about her "retro" look! *blinks* Priorities. What are they again?
Tomoko: A myth, Prower.

There was a soft knock at the door. The knocker went ahead and let themselves in, "Hey honey how was your heist last night?"

Isis peeked her head out of the bathroom door to make sure her new guest was Maven, "Oh hey Maven! I had fun. I gave Batman a bruise or two. It was fun."

Akiko: Little did they know that the Gotham Police had the apartment wired for a while now. Isis Kyle and her assistant Maven were arrested shortly after.
Miyuki: You seem to be confusing them with the police back at your home.

Isis finished putting on her jacket and came out of the bathroom to see that Maven had lunch at hand, "What's in the bag?" Isis curiously asked.

Tomoko: Too bad it ain't the end of this fic.

"Well dear, I thought I would bring you some lunch," she put the bag on the kitchen counter noticing the empty milk jug, "I see you downed this," she picked it up and threw it in the trash.

"You didn't have to do that Maven. Thanks"

"Now Isis, whether you like it or not, I'm going to look after you, so...learn to deal." There was a quick silence between the two of them, ending with laughter. "So what did you collect last night?"

Tails: Padding. She probably also has the Hope Diamond. But we'll have to do some more padding before we can get to that.

"Oh, oh!" Isis got excited and skipped to the chest at the foot of her bed. As she opened the chest, the jewels seemed to glow like something holy. Maven sat down beside her and rummaged through the precious stolen goods. Isis became a bit disgusted, "I would have gotten even more if that Batman guy didn't have to come along. It's like, there are all these crimes being committed all over Gotham, but he still seems to just be hunting for me,"

Miyuki: She sounds like a whiny idiot who was caught speeding. *as Isis* Oh, don't you have other people to arrest? I mean, going thirty miles over the speed limit in a residential area isn't that serious, officer!

Isis' head drooped down, "I could have been killed if he came any later that one night. I wonder how many other girls have suffered because of his 'female criminal chasing'."

Tomoko: Great. Now she's a crap burglar and a whiny dumbass to boot.
Akiko: *confused* And now Batman's sexist? Um... hello! You're breaking into museums and jewelry stores! Of course he's going to come after you!
Miyuki: Hey, you know the rule; Sues are allowed to be as stupid and whiny as they can be.
Tomoko: Any more whining from her, and I'll stuff some metal into her mouth. I'm serious.

Maven was silent, "..."

Tails: Thank you for holding my hand there.

"Is something wrong Maven?" Isis quarreled

"Um...no..." she looked around for the words to say, "Well, you know...your grandmother had a history with the old Batman..."

Isis rolled her eyes, "What? Did he bug the shit out of her too?"

Tails: Well, you're already bugging us, so I guess the feeling's mutual.

"Well...It was quite like that--" Maven's word were interrupted by the telephone's ring.

Miyuki: Hello, Plot Interruption Hotline!

Isis jumped up, "Oh I'll get that!"

She ran to the phone, "Hello?"

"Hi," A familiar voice answered.

Isis thought for a second as to who it could be as the loud crowd of voices rambled in the background, "Max? Is that you?

"Yeah! Hey there girl."

"Something up?"

Akiko: Besides the sun?

Max seemed to pause, "Hmm, do you think you could come to campus when school lets out?"

"Well...I guess. But, why--"

Max seemed to squeal with excitement, "Okay, awesome. Can't talk any longer. Got a class to get to. Bye!" Her words came fast as she hung up the phone.

Isis looked at the phone in confusion as the tone beeped, "Um, ok...?" She hung up the phone.

"Who was that?" Maven asked.

"Just a friend of mine. She wants me to meet her at school."

Maven seemed a little relieved that things had come up, "Well I guess I'll let you eat," she walked towards the door.

Miyuki: "I guess"? What, Sues don't eat?
Tomoko: They eat souls and canon. That's why they never starve, Fujiwara.

Isis following her to politely see she's on her way. Before Maven exited The Cat Lair, she turned around and lay a single hand on Isis' cheek, "Ever since this Catwoman thing has happened to, you've seemed so much happier. I'm so glad."

Akiko: You sure? I think it's just making her whinier, but that's just me...

Isis seemed to frown. She knew that what she was doing was wrong, but for some reason, it just made her feel so…right.

Miyuki: Way to sin your ass off there, Whinebag McGee.

Then she smiled and looked up at Maven, "Yes it has."

Tails: Well, I'm waiting for the part where karma is supposed to hit.
Tomoko: Sue fic, Prower. That's not happening soon.

Chapter 15:

All Fun and Games

(Part 2)

"Why are we still here?" was Terry's interrogation.

Max mocked his impatience, "Blah, blah ,blah. Stop asking questions. It's a surprise!"

Miyuki: Will the fic end after this? Because that'll be a great surprise.
Tails: No, we have three chapters left once we finish this one.
Miyuki: *groans*

Terry frowned at the ground in thought. But his frown soon became a smile when he spouted out his first guess of this 'surprise', "Does it have to do with a certain someone by the name of… Isis!"

Akiko: You know, the only person who exists... ever.

"I'm not telling you! Just wait," Max was becoming tiresome of Terry's impatience.

Terry was now excited, for he knew exactly what his friend was up to. So knowing this he settled down and respected Max's request to be patient.

It was not too long after when a much confused Isis strayed from sideway to campus with her pocket in Terry's brown jacket. She wasn't paying any attention to what went on around her until she raised her head and spotted her beloved Terry, "Oh Terry! 'Tis been too long!" she shouted as they ran to each other for a warm embrace.

Terry greeted her with open arms, "Yes it has," he said just before he picked her up and spun her around.

Tomoko: This can't get any more sugary, huh?
Tails: Nope, it can't.

"Ok you too love bird! Now that you gotten to see each other…" Maxine interrupted, "It's time for the surprise."

"Huh?" Terry was a little puzzled he had thought that Isis was the surprise. But come to think of it, Max wouldn't make them meeting together such a big deal.

Akiko: *confused* This fic makes it one, though...

Terry had now noticed Max reaching into her back pocket. What could this be?, were his thoughts.

Miyuki: Is it a ray gun that'll vaporize Isis?
Tails: Now you're asking for too much, Miyuki.

Now in her hand she held three tickets, "I got us ticket to see 'Scarlett Lace'!" a popular industrial band among young adults.

Akiko: Then how come I never heard of this band, eh?

Isis hugged Maxine who now had her hands on her hips shaking her head in gratification, "Thank you Max!" was Isis' gracious response.

Miyuki: She's only gracious if everything goes her way. Take notes, kids.

Terry inched closer to the two girls and examined the ticket that Max had given him, "Wow, I thought they were sold out." he scratched the back of his head. "Where did you manage to find them so late?"

"I have my sources," she responded with a wink.

Tails: She got them from Manic. Wait, now that I'm thnking about him... Manic's much better at stealing than she is.

"So this is…" Isis searched for the answer on her ticket, "tonight." She looked a little nervous, like she had other places to be.

Tomoko: Yeah, you're definitely not acting suspicious there. Do we need to hang a sign over your neck that says that you're Catwoman, too?
Miyuki: At this rate, yeah, we should do that.

Max put an arm around Isis, "Yeah girl, so we best get goin'."

"You do want to go?" Terry sounded a little worried.

Isis tilted her hand to one side and smiled playful at him, "Of course I want to go," she temptingly lured him behind her, "Come on now, or we'll be late."

Terry followed like a love sick puppy;

Akiko: And now he's completely brainwashed. It is going to be odd if he's dating his, um...
Tails: Niece. His niece.
Akiko: Oh. *shudders*

Max soon after as they made their way to the concert.

"May I see your ticket please!" Isis was soon awakened from her daze by Terry's nudge on the back.

Isis searched her pockets, "Oh yes…of course."

Terry noticed that something was wrong with Isis.

Miyuki: And two plus two is...

But what… She seemed like she had a lot on her mind and Terry decided not to bother her about it. Perhaps the concert would take it off her mind.

Miyuki: Fifty. Looks like two plus two equals fifty to this sponge brain.

The band of soon to come out and Terry was becoming nervous as well. He didn't like these big groups of people. They are a recipe for disaster and they are attracted to villains.

Akiko: Are you sure? Who would commit a crime in a public place where hundreds of people could see their face?
Tomoko: The kind who end up on those dumb criminal shows, Miyadama.

But Terry kept a good eye on his watch. He knew if anything was coming his way, Mr. Wayne would most likely know ahead of time.

The crowd screamed has the band entered the stage. When Terry looked to his left, he saw Max yelled like a mad woman and Isis…she didn't look interested at all.

Tails: Yeah, she had better things to do! Like... stealing things.

"You know, Isis. If you want to get out of here I wouldn't mind," Terry yelled loud enough for her to heard, "In fact I don't even think Maxy would notice." He pointed to Max, totally wrapped up in the music.

Isis thought for a second.

Tomoko: That's a first.

Terry smiled ravishingly at her, "What do you say…let run away together."

Miyuki: And then they eloped in Vegas.
Tails: *shudders* Let's hope that they don't reproduce.

Isis giggled as he took her by the hand.

Terry and Isis snuck off to a secluded back alley behind the stadium. The music still was audible, but the crowd less of an annoyance.

Terry found this a perfect time to ask, "So, are you okay? You look a little…distracted."

Miyuki: Speak for yourself.

Isis began to speak and then hesitant, "You would think it was silly…" she looked away.

"Oh no, I've been worried about some pretty silly things in my day," he joked as he put his arm around her, "It would have to be extremely silly. You can tell me"

"Well I don't know…I've just been having odd feelings. As if the next week, isn't going to be a very good one."

Akiko: Hey, when did she turn into Claire?
Tails: Another friend from your home, huh?
Akiko: Yep. She's also good at palm readings.

"Just think of it this way; if they do happen, at least you'll be ready for them."

"Well, true…" Isis let a tired sigh, "but that doesn't stop then from happening."

Tomoko: So stop time or something, I don't know. I don't really care, either.

Terry began climbing a metal rail ladder to the top of a building and Isis soon followed. He helped her over the building's ledge to the roof, "When you're looking at the stars you have no time to think about those problems," he said as he lay down. She laid beside him.

"You know Isis, there are a lot of things that I haven't been able to ask you. I feel like I've known you for quite sometime…but I know nothing about you. How's the Smith family?"

"The who…?"

Tails: *stammers for a bit before throwing his hands up and sighing in annoyance*
Tomoko: *pinches the bridge of her nose, grumbles* She's the worst liar on top of being the worst burglar ever.

"You know…what's your family like?"

Miyuki: They're like... dead.

Isis choked, "That's not a subject I like to take about. You can't really call one person and her cat a family…"

Akiko: Well... I call my friends my family... so...

"Well, family's come in all shapes and sizes.

Akiko: Yeah! Exactly!

But I'm sorry that I made you uncomfortable by asking that question."

"You were just curious," she reassured him that she wasn't angry.

Miyuki: Well, at least that was nice...

"But I can sort of relate… my dad is gone. But must not be nearly as bad as it is for you."

Miyuki: ...never mind. Of course her past is more "twagic" than Terry's. This Mary Sue right here, I swear...
Tomoko: Well, you did say that he was brainwashed. That just proved it.

"Terry, do you mind if I ask--. Well never mind, I know that I wouldn't want to talk about it."

"You want to know what happened?" he knew exactly what she wanted. So he explained the whole thing. Of how he had regret how he treated his father those days before and how he knew he could had saved him if he hadn't snuck out. But Terry was beginning to feel exposed so he soon changed the subject, "So, how's your cat?"

Tails: *as Isis* Oh, she's repairing some Extreme Gear with a hedgehog... wait, that's the wrong cat.

"Oh Felix," she smiled. "It so nice to meet a guy so interested in me literal cat instead of the 'other one'."

All: *stares at the screen*
Miyuki: *chuckles* Oh. Oh, I see.
Cassy: *playfully meows as she walks by*
Miyuki: Cassy! *laughs*
Tails: "Me literal cat"? When did she become Irish or Scottish?

The two of them laughed, "But seriously, Felix is great. He's my best friend. I couldn't ask for more. He was there from the beginning…"

A comfortable silence rang between them as the night darkened. And as soon as Terry's eyes began to shut, he heard the shrieks of frightened girls and the cackling of insane clowns. But Isis was already up and alert before him, "Oh no…"

Akiko: Because she's better and a cat, you know.

Terry finished, "Not these guys."

The two of them fled for the ladder, "No Isis! You stay up here. I don't want anything to happen to you," he bellowed, recalling the night he had saved Isis. The he descended the ladder.

Isis glared as Terry left her mumbling the word angrily, "I can take care of myself," but Terry hadn't really noticed them.

Tomoko: Hey, dumbass. He somehow didn't figure out that you're Catwoman, and you don't know that he's Batman. He also saved you from being assaulted before you became Catwoman. You spill your identity, and you get arrested. Ever thought about that? *pauses* Oh, who am I kidding? They don't think.

Terry retreated to a safe spot where he could transform into Batman.

"Oh don't you underestimate me Terry. I can take perfectly good care of myself!" Isis shouted to herself.

Akiko: *lazily points at Tomoko* What she said.

As soon her eyes lost track of Terry she came down from the fairly short building in one catlike jump. She ran gracefully through the alley,

Miyuki: ...while I gracefully puked a bit in my mouth.

she didn't want anything to happen to either Terry or Max, "Unless Terry is some sort of superhero," she stopped to laugh at the thought, "he won't be able to protect them alone."

All: *halfheartedly laughs*
Tails: Oh, oh... oh... you have the mentality of a brick.

"…although he is quite strong," she was turned on by the thought of his muscles but quickly shook the thought from her head, as not to distract her.

Tomoko: Well, it took long enough for her to get horny, huh?

As soon as she shook her head, a man dressed as a clown grabbed her from behind, "Hey, this sort of looks like that girl Daggett showed us a picture of!"

"It does," another one of them answered right before Isis kicked the one that had a hold of her in the shin.

She ran as the two painted faces chased her.

Miyuki: I guess that's what happens when you don't fix your window. The Jokerz come in and snap pics of you.

"How many ass kickings does it take until you get the point that no one wants you around," the masked bat retorted to the oncoming clowns.

Tomoko: Wish I could say that to every Sue.

"It's all just fun and games," one of them cackled

They came at him with their silly clownlike weapons as Batman beat each and everyone of them. Just as soon as he beat all of them he saw a familiar face being chased by two maniac clowns, "I thought I told her to stay where she was…"

Tails: Oh, Terry. You should know that Sues always have wax in their ears!

But as soon as he went to go after her, one of the not so 'beaten' clown grabbed him from behind holding a knife to his neck. Batman tried to shake off the villain but with no avail. The clown's knife cut into his suit, but for some reason the clown stopped and fell to the ground. When the Bat turned around he was greeted by the smiling face of Maxine who had one of the clown bats in her hand.

Miyuki: And she's automatically a better hero than the two "protagonists". Huh.

"Thanks," he said. Then he ran into the direction that he had seen Isis run.

He searched each alley until he came to one with two beaten clowns. And there was Isis, walking out of the alley as if nothing had happened.

Akiko: Well... at least she didn't eat them like that one alien from the "Men in Black" sequel.
Tomoko: She did something after that, Miyadama.
Akiko: Um... let's see... what did she do... oh. Eww! Eww!

Batman was confused, "Are you okay?"

"Well obviously," she smirked, "By the way, you're late…again."

Batman felt very uneasy. He had seen that smile before, but not from Isis. Though at the moment he couldn't think where he had seen it before, "I'm terribly sorry. I tried to get here as fast as I could."

"No, no, no. It's fine. I'm fine! We're all…" Isis' voice lowered as her smirk became dark, "fine."

Tomoko: And he's still not figuring it out. This fic went from boring to really stupid.

Batman was now dumbfounded as she sassily walked away. Wow, that's hot, he thought as she walked away.

Tails: *facepalms*
Akiko: Miss Noodle's on the move again!
Miyuki: Seriously, fic? Seriously. Shut the hell up. She's not hot. Stop telling me that she is, because I'm not buying it.

Isis walked back towards the stadium to see Max waiting outside, "Max, where's Terry?"

Akiko: Oh, nothing... just doing his Batman duties...

In a lying sort of tone Max answered, "Well, I don't know. I thought he was with you," Max hid a small giggle, "I'm sure he'll be here soon."

And about just as soon as she had said that, Terry came out from an alley.

Tails: *while wearing a top hat and cape* Surprise! It's that old Houdini magic at work!

Isis ran to him with open arm. In there embrace she asked, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm just fine."

Tomoko: And I'm bored now. Can't wait for this to end.

"I think I'm ready to go home now."

Max yawned, "Yeah, me too."

Terry looked down at Isis with caring eyes, "Would you like me to take you home?"

Isis became a little offended by the question; there he goes again, questioning my dependency.

Miyuki: Okay, I know he's concerned because he saved you in the past, but holy crap, would you stop being a giant whiny ass about it? As a matter of fact, why don't you just tell him to his face?
Akiko: That's logic, Mi-chan!

I know it's only because he cares about me though…

Miyuki: Yeah, figure that out after your whiny whine fest.

But now she began think about how embarrassing it would be if he came to her house. It wasn't in the best condition ever since she became Catwoman.

Akiko: I thought that it wasn't in the best condition long before that.

He would want to come in and her cat suit was laying in pieces all around.

Tails: Yeah, we do this action that is called "hiding things". Ever heard of "hiding things"? You know, you did that with the things that you've stolen.
Tomoko: She had the time to hide the crap she's stolen, but didn't have the time to hide her suit or fix the broken window which would lead to the crap that she's stolen. This dummy...

She wanted to spend more time, but that would have to wait for another day, "No, you look tried. I can get a cab or something."

"Are you sure?" Terry looked concerned.

Akiko: No. She's probably going to do more Catwoman stuff after this. Come on, we know how this is going to go.

"Absolutely."

Isis kissed him and hugged Max before parting their ways.

Tomoko: Can I part ways with this dumb fic now? Seriously, I'm about to do that.
Miyuki: You've slogged through fifteen chapters. You want to give up now?
Tomoko: I'd expect that question from Prower or Miyadama. Besides, you sound like you're about to break this fic your own self.
Miyuki: *scratches her head* Well, yeah...
Tomoko: Thought so.
Akiko: *pulls out a tub of ice cream, an ice cream scoop, four bowls, and four spoons* I don't think a pint is enough for the rest of this fic. Who wants some?
Tails: Oh, yeah, me! Let's get to finishing this fic, then!

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