Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Crazy Train, Episode 2: Spaghetti

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A/N: YES, I AM TOTALLY WEIRD. XD

Rory: *points to James* And so is he.
James: Believe what you want to believe, mate.

Anyway, hopefully I'll be spared for being attacked with a stick for a weird pairing-but I can totally see it. (HIT) I don't own Kyo, Leona, or KOF-don't sue me, please. You won't get anything anyway. XDD

Axl: Is it really that weird? I mean, I've seen fics that have Leona paired up with Chang. You're okay, author.

Spaghetti

She thought he was joking.

Mai: I was joking, too. I actually lied when I said that I'd stop picking on Rory.
Rory: I hate you, Mai.

It'd been one thing to accept Kyo Kusanagi's offer for a date on Saturday night, but for him to expect her to follow through...was another case entirely.

James: Considering that he's been basically ignoring that girlfriend of his. Was her name Yumi... or Yoko... or something like that?
Axl: Yuki.
James: Oh.

Honestly, she only agreed to go with him due to Ralf's persistent discouragement and cocky refusal for her-Leona could make her own decisions, and thought that would be a prime opportunity to show him that.

Rory: *sarcastically* Women. Trying to be independent all the time.
Mai: *hits Rory's left shoulder*
Rory: *rubs his shoulder* Ouch! Sarcasm, Mai! Sarcasm!

While it did help her get her point across, it also ended with her searching her closet for something to wear. Leona didn't go "out"-she completed her missions, went home, rested it off, and then went back for more.

Mai: Sounds like me when I was in high school.
Axl: No kidding, sis.

Her apartment wasn't particularly decorated either-she started moving in over a month ago, yet never really finished unpacking. All that really stood out was her couch (which was necessary in case of company) and her bed (which nobody saw but her, she made sure of it).

Rory: Unless your name's Jessie Baxter. Then every human being of legal age can see every aspect of your bed and your couch. Well, that's if she lets you come in, of course.
James: *coughs*
Rory: Wait, she got to you, too?
Axl: Rory, you're making her sound like a succubus or something. Come on, now.
James: Ever heard of "friends with benefits", Hancock?
Rory: Hey, whatever you two do is your business, but Cassy and I aren't going to fly that route.

Other than that, she hadn't dug into the multitude of boxes since her arrival. Both Ralf and Clark had offered to just do it for her, but she refused. Again, Leona could make her own decisions.

...But she was horrible at deciding what to wear. Half-tempted to go with her original idea and just wear her uniform, she finally found an old dress she hadn't ever worn-actually, she only bought it for a party Whip was throwing-the party was canceled due to her brother's persistent refusal to even have it, and she packed the dress away.

Axl: *looks at Mai* Darn people hating people.
Mai: Shut up, Axl.

Pulling it out for the first time in months, Leona looked it over-she'd lost a little weight since the last time she tried it on; wondering if it'd still fit, she decided to experiment and put it on.

Rory: And then she asked one of the guys if the dress made her look fat. She only got that question from watching a few bad television shows.

It fit perfectly. Brushing off the last of the dust, Leona dug for and found the shoes she'd bought to polish off her outfit-someone wouldn't know by just looking at her, but she actually had a rather keen fashion sense. After quickly fixing her hair (and deciding to wear it down, something she never did), Leona was ready to go...two hours early.

James: Someone may want to take up knitting or reading a book.

He told her he'd pick her up at seven-the clock just rang five. Clueless to what she was going to do for the remainder of the time left, Leona had a seat on the couch-then decided to head downtown and take a walk. Heading back to her room for a quick change into her day clothes, Leona grabbed her keys and left her rather unremarkable apartment; it was how she liked it.

Mai: Hey, whatever floats your boat.
Rory: Is that why your room looks... bland?
Mai: *folds her arms* At least I won't have the misfortune of accidentally killing myself in a junky room, thank you.
Rory: Hey, I'm a mechanic! I have a right to be junky!

Still moderately confused on why Kyo Kusanagi, heir to the Kusanagi clan, had asked her out,

Axl: ...for the lulz...

Leona headed to her favorite thinking spot-across from the fountain in town. Granted, it wasn't the most private of places-but the sounds and scents seemed to calm her. Sitting at one of the picnic tables, Leona propped her elbow up on the table, then rested her chin in her open palm. Didn't he have a girlfriend or something? I know his personal life wasn't exactly in our mission objectives, but sometimes it's necessary to know the basics about someone...

Axl: Whoops, looks like we forgot some quotations.
James: Could be worse. *holds up a cue card that says, "@ least da authr isnt typen lik dis."*
Axl: Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

"Am I interrupting?" A male voice asked, and Leona turned around quickly to meet the inquisitive brown eyes of the man who had just invaded her thoughts.

"...No," she answered, turning back around to face the fountain. "I'm just a bit confused."

Mai: You want confused? Go read... wait, we're not riffing that yet.
James: If you keep telling the future, we're going to get tarot cards in our throats, madam.

"Ah," Kyo spoke, then walked over to the opposite side of the table. "Mind if I sit down?"

"...No," Leona repeated. ...He's blocking my view of the fountain. Dammit. Deciding that asking him to scoot over would probably make her seem insane, Leona merely looked at the brunette boy and tilted her head. "What exactly...do you want with me?"

Rory: *as Kusanagi* I want your master's head... *normal voice* Oh, wait. Whoops.

Kyo seemed confused by her question. "Rephrase that?" He offered, shifting so his ankle crossed his knee.

"Why did you ask me to dinner earlier?" Leona asked, relieved that his shift in position allowed her to see the fountain again.

"Because I'd like to get to know you better?" He answered, even though it sounded more like a question. "Really."

"Why are you interested in that?" She asked, causing her companion to raise one eyebrow.

"Has anyone ever told you that you ask a lot of questions?" Kyo asked, then chuckled lightly as Leona shook her head.

Rory: Why is that?
Mai: Heck, what's the point of said date?
Axl: Does Kyo have different tastes in women?
James: Or could it be because he's been hanging around that Yagami guy a little too much?
Mai, Axl, Rory: No, you!

"Actually, I'm told I don't speak enough," she responded, crossing her arms. "I only...want to know what I'm getting myself into."

"...Maybe a big plate of spaghetti? We could do the whole Lady and the Tramp fiasco if you want..." Kyo joked, then flattened his features as the reference went completely over her head. "Or, I could just buy you a burrito. Whatever works."

Mai: Spaghetti's better. Blasted refried beans make me double over so hard...
Axl, James, Rory: *stares at Mai*
Mai: Sorry.

"You are aware that I only accepted due to Ralf's belligerence?" Leona revealed, uncrossing her arms.

"Yeah," Kyo answered, looking at his hand. "Is he always like that?"

"...Yes," she answered, scowling. "I appreciate his friendship, but that's...as far as it goes. It doesn't seem he understands that."

Rory: Heck, the picture that Leona drew should've been enough of a hint!

"So you're just going out to dinner with me to get rid of him, right?" Kyo asked, and Leona nodded.

"I'm sorry it sounds so...," she started, then stopped as he waved her off mid-sentence. "You do know that Ralf will likely join us?"

"Didn't doubt it," Kyo joked, leaning in. "Does this mean I have to act like I'm head-over-heels crazy about you? I mean, I can if you want," he insisted, smirking.

Axl: Yes, there's nothing better in life than being a third wheel!

"...I hate to be rude, but don't you have a girlfriend already?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Not anymore," Kyo answered, looking slightly off-guard for the first time in their short conversation. "She uh...dumped me. Said she was sick of me being gone all the time, and that a phonecall every now and then wouldn't be too much to ask. I said it would, she said it was over. The end."

Axl: *confused* Well...
Rory: *confused* That made no sense there.
Mai: Yes, he's free!
James: As if you'd have any luck with him! You're a squirrel!
Mai: And last I checked, he was straight!
James: Hey, I'm not interested in him like that... but at least I'm a human being!
Mai, James: *glaring at each other*
Axl, Rory: *sighs*

"I'm...sorry to hear that?" Leona offered, aware she was hardly an expert in relationships.

Rory: Well, look on the bright side, Leona; Dr. Phil's hardly an expert in relationships, and look at all the money he's making!

"Don't worry about it," he insisted, shaking his head. "The past is the past."

"...You can really put things behind you so quickly?" She asked, moderately interested.

Axl: *as Kyo* Yep. It's like the time I got rejected from that job within five minutes of applying... don't know what happened.

"Yeah, I can. Everyone makes a big deal about my history, but well, I don't even care. I've even got an Orochi out to kill me, yet I just wanna live life like a normal guy, you know?" Kyo spoke, then looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "...And why am I telling you this?"

James: Dunno, tell that to Yagami, Yagami, and... oh, yeah. Yagami.

"I cannot read your mind," Leona spoke, confused herself. "I suppose-"

"You're just easy to talk to, I guess. I don't know if you actually are, but it seems to me that you're a pretty good listener," he cut her off. Moving his position, Kyo put both of his feet on the ground. "Now, I've told you a little bit about myself. How about...you tell me about yourself?"

Mai: Oh, sure! I like--
Axl, James, Rory: Not you, Mai...
Mai: *twiddling her fingers* Oh...

"I like factories," Leona spoke, looking at the table. "I don't like decorating, cooking, or doing domestic things like that.

Rory: Then she should hire Miyu, Amy, or Emi.

Yesterday, a child called me a robot."

Axl, James, Rory: *points at Mai*
Mai: *mumbles* I'm not that quiet in public...

"A...robot?" Kyo asked, chuckling despite himself. "That's ridiculous."

"Not to mention rude," she added. "Not like it matters, but there's nothing like walking down to get the paper and having a three-year-old staring at you as if you're from another planet, then professing their belief that you are."

James: It could be worse. The kid could've been spouting Nazi rhetoric.
Axl: That's... a thing?
James: I sure hope not.

"...You said a robot, not an alien," he corrected, and Leona shook her head.

"Space robot."

Kyo covered his face in a futile attempt not to burst out in a laughing fit. When he was finished, he uncovered his eyes with intentions of apologizing-only to see his cerulean haired friend flashing a confused but content smile. "Sorry about that," he apologized anyway.

Rory: Time for Mai to gain a sense of humor!
Mai: *grumbles*

"Don't worry," Leona answered. "Even though I don't understand why it's so amusing, you shouldn't apologize. Most people don't laugh when I speak; they're either too scared of me, or just...don't think I'm funny."

"They don't get you," Kyo insisted, sitting up straight.

"And you think you do?" Leona asked, turning her head slightly to the right with a mild frown. "I don't think-"

"LEONA!" A voice called, causing the two at the table to look. Two overly-muscular men were approaching them quickly;

Axl: ...until KOF XII's sprite artwork hit the two of them...
James: *makes an explosion noise*

one looked amused, and the other...was flaming pissed.

"What the hell are you doing with this guy?" Ralf Jones asked, crossing his arms and glaring at Kyo. "I thought you weren't gonna go with him until later or something!"

Mai: *as Leona* Well... two minutes technically counts as "later"...

"...You know, that look isn't really flattering," Kyo teased, looking up at the man who had likely proclaimed himself a rival. "You're ugly enough as it is."

Ralf looked like someone slapped him.

Rory: Maybe Kyo actually did it.

"Oh, so you wanna go? I'll show you what it's like to be a real man!"

"Hmph, sounds like someone's jealous," Kyo insisted, stroking his chin. "Don't you have something better to do?"

All: *deadpan* Ask Yagami that same question.

"NO!" Ralf snapped, then turned towards Leona. "Anyway, I was thinkin', how about you go with me instead? We can go to that iHop over there? Clark swears it's good."

Axl: So... go with your buddy? There's nothin' wrong with that.

"...I'd rather do the Lady and the Tramp with spaghetti," Leona answered, repeating Kyo's remark that she hadn't really understood. "Kyo likes Italian food."

Mai: He does? I should ask Miyu to make that pasta dish of hers!
James: You couldn't be more off, lady.

Unfortunately, Ralf understood it perfectly.

FIN

Rory: Shark fin?
James: *facepalms*
Axl: *scratches his head* Uh! Jeez, Rory! That's French for "End"!
Mai: At least you're gifted in Extreme Gear, Rory. Don't quit your day job.

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