Mystery Science Theater En Masse
Behind The Scenes: Season Eight
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M78/B16 - The Power of Love
Whoo, boy. This fic had so many problems. The pacing was terrible, any fight scenes that were present lacked imagination, and... seriously, do I even have to explain the problem with Alex and his lobotomized version of Helena?
Technically, I don't. However, I do understand that the Stuthor was intending to make a giant fluff piece whenever those two nitwits had to declare their love for each other every five seconds, but anyone with a critical eye can clearly see that it came out all wrong. Obviously, Helena's personality was warped to the point where she needed the Stu to save her every time, and the Stu himself turned into a really horrid person.
He tried to paint himself as the ideal boyfriend who's willing to do anything for his true love, but it fell flat. Honestly, he was pretty much two steps away from handcuffing Helena and locking her into a closet. That's how creepy it felt.
M79/A16 - Thanksgiving!
There was a reason why Sasha nabbed the "Worst Character" title last season, and with this short fic, it's still easy to see why.
Remember, she did all of this petty nonsense... because she didn't knock on a door.
She is the epitome of awful Mary Sue characters. Anyone who doesn't like her is branded as "evil", and she still uses the poor excuse to abuse others because she was (allegedly) abused in the past. Number one, it still didn't work. Number two, it's getting incredibly old. It's gotten to the point where the editor now hates Sasha. Honestly, I can't blame him for that.
M80/411 - Moonlight warrior
(Once again, since English isn't the Stuthor's first language, I'm not going to comment on that. I'm only going to comment on the fic itself.)
You know, it's too bad that I can't give the title again to this terrible character. Yes, I know that this fic was written before "Outcast Saga", but when you compare this trash fic to that other trash fic... it clearly shows that he hasn't improved in his writing abilities at all. Every character is still warped, the Stu himself is still unlikable, and it's still full of the same awful sexist and homophobic messages. It got to the point where writing the riffs to this fic caused me to end up being physically ill for a short while. No, it wasn't to the point where I vomited or anything like that, but I do think that me dreading this fic caused me to end up feeling ill while I riffed it. Ironically, this, "Outcast Saga", and Season 7's "The New Girl" were the few fics that made me feel this way so far.
There's nothing else that I can say except for... "stop writing forever". I know that I hate using those words, but if a person absolutely refuses to listen to constructive criticism, there's no point in bothering.
M81/C07 - Swimming Through Apologies
This fic originally had the title of M57/C04. Yes, this riffing was on the sidelines for two seasons. The main reason was because I just had to riff "KOF-XXX" so badly.
The sad thing about this oneshot is that it could've been decent. It's just too bad that the purple prose and the nonsensical word salad wrecked it. I can't say anything else about this.
M82/D07 - Master Of The Heart
Yeah, Haine was definitely worse than Topaz. However, when Haine is analyzed by herself, she's just... incredibly dull.
Not only was she a boring God Mode Sue, she was also incredibly bland and ultimately forgettable. It's not enough to make a person rage, which could probably be a minor plus.
Ultimately, everything's forgettable. The story (or lack thereof), and Haine herself can just be easily thrown into obscurity.
M83/E04 - Roguishly Possessed
I tried to riff this fic to the best of my ability. However, the problem with this fic wasn't the fic itself. Sure, there was some pretty bad humor, but yes, there was a story that was pretty decent... only terrible part was Wave being easily forgiven for her heinous actions in the fic. When I tried to deal with this fic, I just had to riff something that was worse than this fic (hello, almost every fic that's after this one), so that's why it took forever to finish. Because of that, I don't think I'll be able to riff the sequel to this fic. There's literally nothing incredibly frustrating about this (aside from Shadow, of course), so that's pretty much why I won't bother. I might change my mind someday, but it won't be a riffing target for Season 9.
The Riffer Gauntlet
M84/412 - Sailor Moon and the New Scouts
M85/413 - Sailor Moon Protecting the Future
M86/414 - Sailor Moon and the Golden Key
M87/415 - Sailor Moon and the Immortal Ring
M88/E05 - Sailor Moon: A Culture Reborn
(Well, looks like it's shared. The horrid attitudes of Taracova/Sailor Universe, Rosalina/Sailor Galaxy/Queen Galaxy, and Caranovia/Sailor Destiny/Queen Caranovia were more than enough to grab one part of this season's "Worst Character" trophy. Granted, just about every OC was terrible or bland in their own way, but those three are singled out because the narration forces the reader to respect them... and it doesn't work. Who's the other "winner"? Keep reading to find out.)
Whoo, boy. This was a humongous task, and I'm glad I tackled these things. However... these fics have got to be the epitome of what not to do when writing a bunch of fanfics.
Don't write a bunch of plot threads and then drop them with no fanfare later on.
Don't write a bunch of characters in and then drop them with no fanfare later on.
Don't write your characters as morally superior when they do things that are just as bad as or worse than the villains that they're shaming. That's Protagonist-Centered Morality, and it's definitely not a good thing.
Also, don't make your main characters a bunch of jerks. The reader will most likely wish for all of them to be hit by a speeding bus.
Don't write things that will insult the reader's memory skills.
And most of all... you should not remove the titular character and continue to put her name in the title of your fanfic if she's not going to physically show up.
A nice handful of the fics that have been riffed have already broken these rules, and this set was no exception.
These fics had terribly written characters, terribly written "plots", and all around general nonsense that tried to masquerade as a story. It was a basic vehicle for Taracova and then Rosalina to wank about how "wonderful" they were, and it was a boring mess to read.
Long story short, these fics were just plain bad. Offensive? No. They were just... bad Sue fics. At least the narration was somewhat decent.
Oh, and one more thing. If you find your fic being snarked on... don't come in and start flouncing. Yes, one of the Suethors found out that these fics were being snarked on in the Sailor Moon Sues Livejournal, and this lovely message was left, typos and all:
"you people are so unfair to me, would any of you like to see the revisions of these. I edited them, they are not so boring any more, seeming that I finally was taught how to write properly,
oh, my friends call me Taracovia Universa,
I worte those stores and it is I you are insulting!!!!!!"
...oh, lordy. By the way, that response caused me to riff this stuff. Good times.
M89/D08 - legolas/legolas by laura
I have nothing to add here. It's literally... legolas. Anything that I could've said about this fic has already been said by a bunch of folks who made fun of this fic years before I got to it. To be honest, I only riffed it because the editor never heard of this fic. And to my surprise, he thought that it was one of the most hilarious trainwrecks that he has seen in a while.
M90/C08 - First Time/In the heat of Night
...meh. These weren't the worst sex fics that I've read, but they were pretty boring. If some personality and effort were injected into them, they would come out decent. But as it stands, it's a bland attempt.
M91/A17 - The Ultimate Pokemon Master
Not only was this an effective parody that confused the hedgehogs, the actual review section for this fic even had people confused. That intentional Stu with no name hit just about every bad character trope for Pokémon, and it definitely showed. Sure, this was intentional, but it definitely served as a bit of a lesson on what not to do when writing an original character.
M92/B17 - Sabrina's Adventure 2 1/2: The Next Generation
I can say this with blatant honesty... I'm really not sure how this fic would've gone. If it was anything like the previous two fics, it probably would've been full of padding and more shilling of Sabrina, which is something that I would not be looking forward to.
M93/S08 - Miles "Tails" Prower
(This terrible clone of Tails is the other "winner" for this season's worst character.)
Where do I even begin with this fic?
Let's be blunt. The fight scenes were so badly written and
repetitive to the point that you can create an actual drinking game with it. I
can make a beta guideline right now since the riffing's shot totals are
actually wildly inaccurate:
-Take three shots if the "fight" is set to music from any of the "Kingdom
Hearts" games.
-Take two shots whenever someone or something tries to hit Tails the Stu, but he
"easily dodges it".
-Take a shot for any use of "combo" in a sentence.
-Take two shots for any use of "intense duel ground/aerial slashing
combos".
-Take a shot for "X Cross Slash".
-Take a shot whenever someone hits the ground "and hits it hard".
-As a bonus, take three shots whenever the words "underestimate",
"underestimated", "interesting", or "serious" are used.
(Or don't actually drink, because you'll suffer from alcohol poisoning. If you want to see better fight scenes, "The
Scar" from Season 7 would do the trick.)
The narration itself was incredibly dull and literally insults your memory and intelligence. Also, every character that the audience was supposed to root for was a giant jerk. I never knew that it was possible to hate a damn disembodied voice, but this fic did it. Not a good accomplishment.
Here's where it gets worse. I'm a Tails fan. And I hated this fic. If you want your favorite character of any series to be liked by other people, do not write a fic that sends said favorite character out of character and bashes everyone else in a poor attempt to look good. That will automatically cause me to hate your fic and your poor writing skills even more.
I guess the only good thing about this fic was the fact that Tails the Stu ended up being abandoned by most of the cast. Good. Still doesn't change the fact that he's a Stu.
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