Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Black Crow Crew, Episode 9: Sabrina's Adventure (Part One)

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Sabrina's Adventure
Sabrina is my fan-made character since I'm such a huge Sonic fan,so I decided to make my own story about me,Sonic,and all of his friends.Hope u enjoy!^^

Cassy: Self-insert alert!
Kyo: Way to put yourself first, author.

Chapter 1 :Loss of a Family Note:Sabrina is a yellow hedgehog^^

Jessie: Yeah, thanks for not saying that in the story where it belongs!

It was a quiet,peaceful day in Station Square city park with little baby Sabrina hedgehog and her parents Angel,a golden yellow hedgehog,and D.J.,a dark blue hedgehog.

Cassy: Hey, she should be a green hedgehog! What's up with that?
Miyu: Sues always get the mother's genes.

They were all walking in the center of the huge park with Sabrina in a stroller.Suddenly a dark shadow covered the whole city within seconds.

Kyo: Damn, that's the fastest approaching thunderstorm I have ever seen!

"Ahh it's Dr. Robotnik."

Jessie: Could you all be any more wooden?

Hundreds of people started to run everywhere finding a place to hide.A gigantic robot monster was walking though the helpless city.Angel and D.J.went running for shelter with Sabrina in their arms trying to keep up with each other,suddenly Angel tripped over a rock and fell with Sabrina in her arms.Sabrina fell out of Angel's hands and landed in an alley between two large buildings.

Cassy: It's a baby, not a bouncing ball!
Miyu: And why do we have an alleyway in a park?

"Sabrina!"called her mother in distress.She could not get up,she had broken her leg.

All: *flatly* How convenient.

"Angel!"called D.J.,running to her rescue.He picked her up and carried her about a few hundred yards."I can't go any further,Angel,I'm too weak to carry you!"said D.J. putting Angel on the ground.

Cassy: Sonia can do a better job of carrying people than that.

"Don't worry about me,go get Sabrina and go hide!"Angel said."Okay,I will always remember you,Angel."D.J. gave Angel one final kiss on her cheek and left to rescue Sabrina.Angel was never to be heard or seen ever again.

Kyo: *woodenly* Yes, this certainly tugs my heartstrings.
Jessie: Well, you've always lacked a soul.
Kyo: Says the assassin.

D.J. went running to the ally to find his lost daughter,then he found her in the ally and picked her up."Don't worry,daddy's got you."said D.J. as he was running down the road."Muahahahahaha,nobody escapes from Dr. Robotnik,soon this city will be mine!"Robotnik said with an evil smile on his face.The giant robot was gaining on D.J.,he could not go any quicker,then the robot started firing missiles all over the city,destroying everything in sight,one missile landed right in front of D.J..He was shot through the air from the blast and he landed dead on the street.

Miyu: Um... shouldn't he be blown into chunks? It was a freaking missile!

Sabrina fell on the grass uncouncious.

All: *flatly* What.

She was in tall grass,hidden away from the city.She remained lost in Station Square,hungry and cold,for 13 years.

Cassy: She somehow survived two drops, a frickin' missile, sudden cold temperatures, and hunger? Uh... shouldn't the words "The End" be here by now? Shouldn't she be dead if she was hungry and cold for that long?
Kyo: That's one weird ass cyborg baby.

New Friends (Chapter 2)

13 years after Sabrina got seperated from her parents Angel and D.J.,

Cassy: Don't you mean "since they were murdered"?

she has been alone on the streets of the newly built Station Square.Right after Dr. Robotnik destroyed the city, he was caught by police and was sent to jail.No one has seen him since then.

Jessie: He never passed "GO", nor did he collect two hundred bucks.
Miyu: You're telling me that he destroyed an entire city... and he was only caught by the police? Seriously?
Kyo: Executions do not exist.

Sabrina has been alone on the busy streets of the big city her whole life.No one wanted to care for her nor pay attention to her.She was a lonely teenager with no family or friends to be looked after.

Cassy: Angst, angst, angst! This emo crap is not new!

She had been having strange visions of the future, but it only happens in her sleep.But there was one that told her that she would someday see her parents again.Then there was another one.

Jessie: We called them "The Ass Pull Dreams".

(In Sabrina's dream)
Angel's voice:"Sabrina,you must avenge your mother and father if you want to see them again, remember, you must get revenge for what Dr, Robotnik did to them by stopping his evil wrath from conquering the world,never forget that."

Kyo: But he's in frickin' jail!
Miyu: What if he broke out?
Kyo: Nah, they'd just try to catch him again or something.

After Sabrina woke up from her sleep, she remembered the whole message, so she immediatley started training for herbig day that she would defeat Robotnik once and for all.

Miyu: Wait, she actually believed all of that in an instant?
Cassy: Then I'm supposed to believe the dream that I had last night... where I turned into a bat and sucked all of Kyo's blood out.
Kyo: Really? How'd I taste?
Cassy: Crappy.
Kyo: *scoffs*

A week after she started training she mysteriously got a strange ability to run at the speed of sound.

Jessie: No, she conveniently got the ability to run at the speed of sound.

She then suddenly remembered a dream.

Kyo: Oh, Christ...

"Sabrina,this is a special gift to help you stop Robotnik,use it wisely." Now she understood the gift she has.

All: We don't.

About six months later she was ready to start on her adventure.

Cassy: Yes, the federal prison is only a hop and skip away!

She ran to the train station to get on a train,

Jessie: Yeah, no crap.

but before she got on the train, she got blocked by a police officer who was taking tickets." Sorry miss, you need a ticket to ride this train."Then she got an idea,she ran to the front of the station and started running as fast as she could toward the train.She made it in without the officer seeing her.

Miyu: The Sue did not claim responsibility for getting the police officer fired from his menial wage job after that event.

When the train left, she tried to stay away from the people,but she couldn't,the whole train was full and crowded,she could not move at all.So she had to get used to the crowd, but people were poking her and calling her names.

Kyo: Sabrina, you're a wuss. They're just names.
Cassy: Yeah, the douchebag's right!
Kyo: Cass, I'm not a douche. I'm a prick. Get it right.

When she couldn't take it anymore,she decided to run to the Mystic Ruins.So she opened the train door with her great strength and

Jessie: ...I decided to hit the author for giving her self-insert another random power.

climbed on top of the train, then ran to the front of the train, still on top, and jumped right in front of it.The drivers of the train saw her and gasped, "Hey get out of there, kid, it's very dangerous, you could get killed!"

Cassy: Why're you all so concerned? You were just insulting her a moment ago.

She didn't listen to them and started to run very fast, and got way ahead of the train."Whoa!! She is as fast as Sonic the Hedgehog!!!" "Sonic? Who's Sonic??" Sabrina thought as she was running.

Miyu: Oh, he's just the guy you're going to upstage in two minutes.

As she was entering the Mystic Ruins,she saw something big and shiny."What's that?" Sabrina asked herself.Whatever it was it was headed right at her!"It's another train,ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" The train was moving very fast.She didn't have time to react and the train hit her arm and she flew off the railway to a small lake near a waterfall.She was unconcious and she couldn't wake up.

Kyo: Tch. Serves her right.
Cassy: So... the train hit her arm? Just her arm? This is making no sense.

(About a day later)
Sabrina wakes up after being uncouncious for about a day.

Kyo, Jessie, Cassy: Why the hell isn't she dead?!
Miyu: Redundancy. It's what's for breakfast.

"Hey, she's waking up!" said a childlike voice.Sabrina did not open her eyes yet.

Jessie: Keep 'em closed. It'll save us the trouble.

" Quick, get her some water,Tails!" She finally opened her eyes to see a yellow fox handing her a glass of water.She gladly took it and drank it up." Thank you, but where am I, and what happened?"Sabrina asked.

Cassy: You got smacked by a train, and you're somehow still alive.

"We found you in the lake and me and my pal,Sonic took you back to my workshop to let you rest,you were like that for a day."

Jessie: A day. A day... yes, we got that!
Miyu: What? I mean... she was in a lake, and she didn't drown?
Kyo: You've forgotten about that Sue anatomy, Miyu. This one must've developed gills along the way.

Sabrina tried to get up but she felt an extremely strong pain in her right arm." Owwwwwwww!" she screamed in great pain."

Jessie: Care to tell us that she was in pain again?

Don't try to get up, your arm is broken, we wrapped it up for you."Said Tails.

Miyu: Next time on "Plot Device Hospital"...

"Tails, what a strange name for a kid."said Sabrina"Well that's not my real name,my real name is Miles Prower,but people make fun of my name,but please don't call me by that."said Tails a little embarassed."Ahhh, you have two tails, no wonder why you are called Tails."

All: Buh-dur...

"Now who's your friend you've been telling me about?"asked Sabrina." Oh, you mean Sonic,Sonic the hedgehog."said Tails.

Cassy: Yep, "Sonic,Sonic" can do it all!

"Hey I heard that name when I was running from that train on my way here!"said Sabrina"You were running in front of a train?!"yelled a different voice.

Kyo: *as the voice* God, you're a moron! How the hell are you still in one piece?

When the person walked out, it was a blue hedgehog that looked exactly like her,the same spikes."You,you look just like me!"said Sabrina.

Miyu: Um... yeah, I think we got that information in that smooshed sentence.

"I heard that you were running from a train, those trains are high speed!" said Sonic."No one else can get past those besides me!"yelled Sonic.

Jessie: Did Sonic clone himself?
Kyo: Yes. Don't think about it.

"Well I can too,hey,you can go faster than those trains too? asked Sabrina."Of course I can,I'm the world's fastest hedgehog." "Well think again blue boy, I challenge you to a race!"said Sabrina. "What?!We'll see about that!"

Jessie: So... she was unconsious for a day, and the first thing she does once she wakes up... is challenge somebody?
Miyu: Yeah, but, um... who's talking?
Cassy: Probably Sabrina's mirror image. See, the canon characters already fled from her split personalities.

Introduction (Chapter 3)

Jessie: Isn't it a little late for an introduction?

Note: I do not own Sonic,Tails, or Amy, but I do own Sabrina.

Sabrina:"A swim race, I mean."

Sonic:"No way!"

Miyu: Hey, why did the fic switch to script format all of a sudden?
Kyo: Actually... this is a bit better. I won't have to borrow your glasses to read the previously scrunched text.

Sabrina:"Oh yeah, well why not?"

Sonic:"Cuz it's not my style that's why."

Sabrina:"No way, you' re just chicken."

Sabrina makes chicken calls at him.

Sabrina:"Buk Buk Bukkaw!"

Miyu: I know what chickens sound like. You do not need to reiterate the fact.
Cassy: I'm not too chicken to put a second smile on your face with these claws, Sabrina.
Jessie: Okay, Miss Joker...

Sonic:"Well I do have a confession..."

Sabrina:"Yeah...I'm waiting....."

Sonic:"Alright, I can't swim, but don't tell anyone."

Sabrina:"Ha! You can't even swim! Well I can, so you lose already!"

Kyo: We're three chapters in, and I already hate her guts.
Jessie: That's okay, I'm good at holding people underwater. Just give me five minutes.
Kyo: That won't work, remember? She has gills.

Sonic:"So, what's wrong with that?"

Sabrina:"Hey,Tails are there any other friends you got?"changing the subject.

Cassy: Are knives a lot more dangerous when they're hot?
Kyo: Yep. You want to start with her?
Cassy: Sure, dude.

Tails:"Sure we got alot of friends with us, we're famous you know, especially Sonic."

Suddenly there is a knock on the door.

Tails:"Wonder who that could be at this time of night."

Miyu: The Anti-Mary Sue and Gary Stu Gallery?

When he opened the door,there was a pink hedgehog with a red dress and gold bracelets on her wrists.

Jessie: At least she kept the description simple. Brownie points are now given.

Pink hedgehog:"Oh, Sonikku I'm so happy to see you!"

Jessie: And we take all of the brownie points back because "Sonikku" was written.

Tails:"Sonic look out it's Amy!"

Cassy: She's a pink hedgehog, not Godzilla! Christ, everyone's turned into asswipes here!

Sonic:"Ahhhh! Hide, she's a menace!"

Sonic:"Hey,girl,you better hide before she sees ya!"

Kyo: Sonic? You may want to nuke your clone there.

Sabrina:"Who?"

Amy runs in the room and sees Sabrina.

Amy:"Oh Sonic how could you, you are cheating on me!!"Amy started crying and ran out of the room.

Miyu: *pushes glasses up* I think I know why everyone's out of control... we're in "Sonic Battle".

Sabrina:"Cheating?!""Girl, just what are you talking about?"she said as she ran and grabbed Amy and carried her back into the room.

Amy:"Put me down!"

Sabrina:"Why should I put you down when you haven't even introduced yourself to me."

Jessie: Oh, we're sorry that we can't introduce ourselves to you, Mary Sue. Yes, you're so special.

Sonic:"Hey girl, put Amy down!"

Cassy: When'd Sonic turn into a flirty lech?

Sabrina:"Quit calling me that or else I'll toss you into the sky!"she puts Amy down.

Kyo: Okay, I'll just call you a dickweed instead. Happy now?

Amy:"Hey, who are you anyway?"

All: An annoying Sue.

Sabrina:"I guess I didn't introduce myself yet,

All: No, really?!

my name is Sabrina and I came to the Mystic Ruins for a very important reason, to avenge my parents' death on Dr. Robotnik, and I won't stop until I finish my journey."

Miyu: Yes, every other Sue wants to do the same thing. You're not alone. Get in line.

Sonic:"You mean Dr. Eggman?"

Sabrina fell to the floor laughing and rolling and couldn't stop.

Sabrina:"Yeah, I guess that's close enough." still laughing like crazy.

Jessie: Ah, ha, ha, ha... go away. Please.

Amy:"Well why are you here, and how?"

Cassy: Satan created her and sent her here to usurp you all. I think that's a good enough explanation.

Sabrina:"when I was running from a train, I got hit in the arm and the next day I was here.""That was all I could remember."

Jessie: *cocks a pistol* Oh, then you'll remember the next thing that I have here...

Sonic:"Yeah, when me and Tails

Miyu: Um, it's "Tails and I", Sonic.

were on our way to the mountains, Tails found her in the lake by the waterfall, she was uncouncious, so we brought her in to rest and she woke up about a day later."

Kyo: *as Sonic* Besides, her cellular structure is not like ours. Do you see the purity sparkles, Amy?

Amy:"Anyway, my name is Amy Rose, I'm Sonic's Girlfriend."

Sonic:"HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU, I'M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND!"

Amy:"Are too!"

Sonic:"Am not!"

Sabrina:"Hey knock it off already!"

Sonic and Amy settle down and sit.

Cassy: And the Sue's now a referee.

Sonic:"So, Sabrina what's your story?"

Sabrina:"When I was a baby, I was living happily with my parents, and then it happened ,Dr. Robotnik had a giant robot and was destroying Station Square. My parents died in the event trying to protect me, I was hidden safely in tall grass so I was safe.After that I was lost in the city for 13 years, I got special abilities, but no friends or family to care for.So I dcided to get revenge for what Robotnik did to me."

Miyu: How in the fizzing land of butter -- did she read and summarize the first chapter?!

Sabrina:"So, how are you guys famous?"

Jessie: Great. Now she's cloned, too.
Kyo: Like we needed an extra Sue.

Sonic:"Nothing much, just saving the world and all that other stuff."

Sabrina:"Saving the world, HA!"

Miyu: *adjusts glasses* Ah, ungrateful folks like her can certainly make the world a better place, huh?
Kyo: Then thank god I'm not Batman. If the world blows up, I'll make sure that she's the first one to die.

Sonic:"What?"

Sabrina:"I bet I can be a better hero than you!"

Cassy: If she loses, can we throw her into an airplane fan?

Sonic:"Is that a challenge?"

Sabrina:"You bet."

Kyo: Jess? Can you shoot me in the face now... at point blank range?
Jessie: That's impossible... because I wanted to shoot myself first.

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