Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Black Crow Crew, Episode 14: Sonic vs Silkadom (Shorts: Shomo Attack, Slash)

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Chapter 1

Kyo: What the hell is this?
Cassy: I don't know what the hell this is.
Miyu: Wait, it's called "Shomo Attack"... but its name is Shomon?
Jessie: Shomon? Michael Jackson's going to attack with his dance moves?
Miyu: Jessie! *laughs*

Shomon pokemon secret ash kechem had in master ball.

Jessie: Because Primal Groudon couldn't fit in it.

ash use Shomon to attck evil mew cloun mew2.

Miyu: He attacked an evil clown?
Cassy: Who wouldn't?

evil battle danger alert!

"run mysty1 run1' ash sayd. he ran and thru pokebul and attk with shomon.

All: *confused* What?!

"brock, hellp!' ash sayd. he ran and thru pokbul and out cum oncks.

Cassy: *snorts laughing*
Jessie: There is no way that someone wrote this with a straight face. No goddamn way.

"oncks use ground1" and onyx use ground.

Miyu: What? Ground is a type! Unless he was commanding Onix to use Earthquake... maybe?

he defet mew2 and ash hid master ball at hoeme. ash win silver badge of courage ultimate. he mai know use the hm tecknicke sound barrier1

Cassy: *laughs loudly* Oh, oh! *clutches her stomach* Oh!
Kyo: ...was this author drunk when this was written?
Jessie: Most likely. Then again, have you written anything while drunk?
Kyo: Have you?
Jessie: No, but I drunk dialed Sonia once... and James multiple times.
Kyo: I shouldn't be surprised at that.

Chapter 2

Jessie: *is baffled* Huh?!
Cassy: *falls out of her seat laughing*
Kyo: I don't... what?!
Miyu: Uh... I don't... even understand...

All ponts bulliten!

ash wok up and see shomo run awy. He jump off bed and ran at tem. He say "no, ash, I hat pokeybul, it's bad 4 me!

Kyo: Wait, it got out of its ball... and spoke to him.
Miyu: And even if it hated being in a ball, Ash would at least respect that. Hello, that's why his Pikachu is always out!
Kyo: Uh... Miyu? Where is his Pikachu?
Miyu: Heck if I know. Maybe the Team Rocket Trio finally captured him.

ash sayd all pokeymons in pokeybuls DO it now!"

Jessie: And now he's out of character... that quickly. Wow.

shomon ran away. This began ash advensure to fine shomo and crystal shard!

Cassy: I'm not going on that adventure. *laughs as she sits back down* Screw that. Um, so... what's next?
Kyo: *yawns as he looks at the next fic* Sonic fics with Gary Stus in them.
Cassy: Haven't seen one of those guys in a while. *pauses* Oh, no.
Miyu: Please don't let this be another version of... him.
Jessie: I had a good track record of purging that Stu from my mind. I don't need a replacement.

Sonic and team belongs to whoever made them.

Cassy: Oh, not again! *nearly falls out of her seat laughing*
Miyu: Are you kidding me? How in the world are you writing a Sonic fanfic if you don't know who owns them?

But Slash is mine!

Jessie: Hey, you can't own the guitarist!

If you want to use him in your stories E-mail me and give me one good story you've written...then maybe...

Kyo: I don't want to use him. I don't think that I want to use him.

It was a warm and incredibly rainy day,but there's one hedgehog who walks on the streets.(Or should I say run?)

Jessie: Because all hedgehogs have super speed, as you know.

Slash:...One day...
Slash looks at a Chaos Emerald that Tails asked him to give to Sonic.
Slash:I'll find you guys.......one day.

Kyo: And one day... we'll be able to read a fic that doesn't suck.
Cassy: Hey, all we're missing is him looking out of a window while it's raining.
Miyu: By the way... why would Cousin Tails give an emerald to a random stranger? If it's supposed to go to Sonic, he'd be more comfortable doing that by himself.
Jessie: That's logic, Miyu.

Sonic:Hey!That's a Chaos Emerald!Who are you?!

Kyo: Where'd you come from? And why does my neck hurt?
Cassy: Because pacing doesn't exist, dude.

Slash:Ah!Sonic,about time I found you.Miles asked me to give you this Chaos Emerald.

Miyu: I have never heard anybody casually address Cousin Tails as "Miles". You are already being suspicious here.

Sonic:How do you know Tails!?Answer me!
Shadow ran up to see the two hedgehogs arguing.

Jessie: *confused* There's an argument?
Miyu: *shrugs*

Shadow:What's going on?
Sonic:Put down the Chaos Emerald!
Slash:You okay Sonic?I just...
Sonic:Sonic Wind!

All: *wearing neck braces*
Cassy: I'm lost, dudes. Like... what... is going on?
Kyo: I don't know, Cass. All I know is that if this fic keeps going at this pace, my head's going to pop off and go to the damn stratosphere.

Slash was surrounded by a huge blue swirl that made him drop the Chaos Emerald.
Slash:You've gone to far!
Sonic:What are you going to do about it?!

Jessie: Probably snicker-snag you, I guess. I don't know.

Slash:What I've should have done years ago...(My friends,I lost them because I didn't use it...)But that won't happen now!

Miyu: Are you kidding me? We have another "tragic past" type in a Sonic fic? Really?
Kyo: Well, this fic was written in 2001. I was wondering why I was brushing up against some edges.

Slash WALKED up to Sonic.

Cassy: And next, he'll... BREATHE!

Sonic:You don't think you can beat me do you?
Slash:I know I can.
Slash ran into Sonic knocking him into the flooded streets.
Sonic:...Whoa...
Shadow:Take it easy!

Jessie: Thank you, Shadow Bogard.

Slash:I'll never forget my only friends.I lost them...It's my fault...I didn't get there in time!Sonic!You destroyed my friends!My best friends.I'll do the fair thing.You took their lifes...I'll take yours!

Cassy: Nah, don't haul him off to jail or anything. That's too much.
Miyu: Wait... Sonic has "lifes"?
Cassy: *snickers* Probably. He just needs to hit more monitors to get them, dude.

Sonic:I never destroyed anyone before!
Shadow:Sonic!Knuckles and Tails might be able to help!We need to calm this guy down!
Slash:I'll let you know a little secret!I have all 7 Chaos Emeralds!

All: *facepalms*
Kyo: Just... stop existing. Please.
Cassy: So... the other six just fell out of his ass? The one that he already has didn't resonate with the others? Just... what?!

The Chaos Emeralds encircled him,until Slash went Super.
Super Slash is now changing colors,from red to blue to yellow.

Jessie: So he's a Gobstopper now.
Miyu: Or maybe he's a mood ring.

Super Slash:It's time!
Off into the distance...Mecha is watching Slash go super.
Mecha:Well,I guess he can destroy Sonic.God!It was fun watching his friends die!

All: *facepalms*
Cassy: Well. We didn't need any plot, huh? Just... hey, we found the murderer, hur, hur!
Miyu: Wait, Mecha can talk?
Kyo: I... don't know...

Super Slash:I want you to pay for what you've done!3 years ago,a blue hedgehog killed my 3 best friends!

Kyo: *plays a tiny violin* Sonic character with a tragic past? Get in line, kid.

Sonic:Blue hedgehog?Do you mean Mecha?!

Jessie: Who isn't a hedgehog, but a robot. I mean... whatever.

Super Slash:Who is this Mecha?
Sonic:He's a robot that looks like me!
Mecha ran up to Sonic,Shadow,and Super Slash.

Cassy: *as Mecha* Hey, guys! I heard that you were talking about me! *normal voice* You have got to be kidding me... *cracks up*
Miyu: And Mecha the moustache twirler makes his random appearance!
Kyo: He's got to be the robot version of Kusanagi right here. Yep.

Mecha:I wonder what kind of power you have.
Super Slash:Plenty,let me demonstrate!
Super Slash made a white energy ball and sent it down flying to a hedgehog.
Sonic:No!
The explosion was tremendous.After the dust cleared,Shadow and Sonic were left standing in front of the remains of Mecha.

All: Huh?

Slash powered down,and left,walking on the streets,alone.
Slash:One day...

All: Huh?!
Cassy: So... ridiculous... *tries not to laugh*
Miyu: "One day..." what?! You've just avenged their deaths! *flails* What's with all of this?
Jessie: What in the hell did we just riff?
Kyo: A giant mess, that's what.
Miyu: So... uh, shall we move on to the last fic?
Cassy: *laughs* Yes, please!

Sonic vs silkadom

P.S I got the made up character from a game called sonic RPG and I got Shadic from sonic Nazo unleashed

Kyo: And you couldn't make your own characters? Well, this is gonna be fun.
Cassy: Do you really want these people to make more original characters?
Kyo: Yeah... good point.

It was a sunny afternoon Sonic, knuckles and tails where running through Green Hill zone when he was suddenly attacked by a powerful spin dash.

Cassy: "Powerful".
All: *taking a deep breath before fumbling over themselves trying to grab the television remote*
Jessie: Off! I want to turn this off!
Miyu: Ah! My glasses fell off!
Kyo: Are they broken?
Miyu: I don't know! You know that I can't see without them, Kyo!
Cassy: Okay, okay, stop, I found them! They're not broken, Miyu.
Miyu: Oh, thank goodness. *as she sits down and puts her glasses back on* Um... I think we should... try to do this like proper riffers.
Kyo: Us? Proper? *laughs softly* If only.

When Sonic got up he was shocked to see that the person who attacked him looked like a combination of both himself and Shadow.

All: *staring at the remote*
Miyu: Don't... we shouldn't...
Kyo, Jessie, Cassy: *fighting over the television remote*
Jessie: *screams* Off! Off! Someone turn it off!
Kyo: *as he's rapidly pressing the "Off" button* It's not working, Jess!
Miyu: *sighs*

So then sonic attacked him with a spin dash of his own so did the mysterious hedgehog. There spin dashes collided a few times and then Sonic back flipped away from him and landed on his feet and "You don't know all my moves!" Shouted Sonic as he threw a barrage of punches at incredible speed at the hedgehog. But the hedgehog easily blocked all his hits with one hand.

Jessie: Why? Why?! *holds Cassy and buries her face in her hair*
Cassy: *sobs* I don't want this fic! Anything but the cousin of "Ultimate"!
Kyo: *with a disgusted look on his face* I would rather eat rusty nails instead of riffing this.

"What the-" Said Sonic as the hedgehog punched him in the gut.

Miyu: That's what this fic already feels like to us. It's a punch to the gut.
Kyo: This fic should just go lower and punch all of us in the crotches to add to the pain.

Sonic barely managed to land on his feet. "This one will finish you for sure." Said sonic and then

Cassy: ...the Stu killed him, screw this fic.

he ran around him in circles but just as Sonic was about to punch the hedgehog elbowed him straight in to the air and then used chaos control to get above him and then knock him down to the ground then he raised his hand into the air and got ready to blast sonic with a chaos spear and then threw it at Sonic suddenly Shadow came out of nowhere and deflected it.

Jessie: I... am really, really lost.
Miyu: No punctuation, no commas, no... nothing. Darn run-on sentences.

"That's my move." Said Shadow.

Kyo: If only you said that to every single copycat Stu in existence.
Cassy: That's a lot of Stus and Sues, dude. Not to mention that just about anyone can use Chaos Control now.

"It's about time you got here."Said Sonic."Don't take it the wrong way I don't care if you die I'm here for my own reason."Said Shadow

Miyu: ...who is now out of character! He may not like Sonic, but he wouldn't want him to die!

as he turned to the hedgehog "Who are you?" Asked Shadow "I am

Jessie: ...a recolor.

Silkadom the hedgehog, a genetic combination of both yourself and Sonic it's pointless to fight me cause I know all of your moves." said Silkadom.

Cassy: Yes, but can you avoid a satellite that's going to nuke you?
Jessie: *as she sends a message to James* I'm definitely going to test that theory, Cassy.

"So that's how he defeated me so easily." Said Sonic.

Miyu: Um, you're still standing, Sonic...

"Let's finish this." Replied Shadow."That's fine by me."Said Silkadom as he attacked Shadow but then Shadow used chaos control to slow down time on everyone but himself and then sent him flying with one punch in the face and then knocked him down to the ground with a bicycle kick

Kyo: *makes turkey noises*

and blasted him with a chaos spear

Miyu: Where's the period?
Kyo: It went on strike with the sentence structure, characters, and our dignity.

"You'll pay for that!" Shouted Silkadom as he dashed towards Shadow and tried to punch but then Shadow dodged it with super speed and reappeared right next to him and pointed his pistol at Silkadoms head."What!" Said Silkadom "Cool!" Said Tails "Looks like Shadow's going to win." Said Knuckles.

Jessie: It's a bad fanfic. He's not going to win. Also, why the hell were Tails and Knuckles just standing there the whole time?
Miyu: Because... reasons.
Cassy: I think I cut myself on all of the edges that this fic has.
Kyo: I'm surprised that your bag of razorblades didn't do that to you first.

"Shadow what are you doing!"Said sonic

Cassy: *as Shadow* I'm about to shoot a recolor. You should be thanking me.

And then Silkadom used chaos control to get away from Shadow.

Cassy: *as Shadow* Damn it, Sonic...

Then Eggman came."Sonic, Shadow surrender or face the wrath of my new creation, the ultimate life form Silkadom the hedgehog." said but then Silkadom killed Eggman with a powerful blast.

Miyu: ...
Jessie: *facepalms*
Cassy: Oh...! *buries her face in her hands and begins laughing*
Kyo: *begins sticking a few rusty nails between two slices of bread* They go down better with bread, right?
Miyu: Oh, my... really, Kyo?

" Why, your own creator?" Said Sonic "I have no use for sentiment. No wonder you're so weak." Replied Silkadom.

Kyo: This fic's so edgy that it'll just make me bleed right here.
Miyu: *takes the rusty nails and bread away from Kyo* Good. Looks like the nails won't have to do any work today.

" Now time to show the full extent of my power."Said Silkadom as he powered up. Shadow tried to fight him but Silkadom easily defeated him with one blast. Then Knuckles attacked but he was defeated. Suddenly an energy ball hit hit Silkadom in the back and then he turned to see Tails with his blaster attached to his arm so he blasted Tails.

Jessie: Gary Stu beats canon characters with little effort. Film at eleven.
Kyo: Jess.
Jessie: What?
Kyo: *as he lights himself on fire* Cocktail, please.
Jessie: No way, Fox Boy. Enjoy that slow burn.

" I've had it with you!

Miyu: My thoughts exactly.

Let's end this right here!" Said sonic as his hair started blinking black and blue and then rocks started levitating and then they broke to pieces and fell to the ground then Sonics hair curved up and turned black

TO BE CONTINUED

Cassy: *flatly* Ow, the edge. *begins chuckling* What's with this DragonBall Z crap? Seriously!
Miyu: Well, to be fair, some aspects of the Sonic series were inspired by it... but unfortunately, Stuthors just ran with it, as you already know. Anyway, I find it odd that we're not angry about this any more.
Jessie: Yeah. It's... odd. *as she checks her phone, mutters* Stu's still getting nuked, though. I don't care what anybody says.
Kyo: This is ridiculous. Was this fic written by a twelve year old?
Miyu: According to the author's profile... yes. He apparently was around twelve years old at the time. Now, I know that you all have been riffing on the fic, but you know the golden rule of not snarking on the author... unless they're flailing about, of course.
Jessie, Cassy: *speechless*
Kyo: *quietly lets his flames dissipate*
Miyu: Yes?
Cassy: Damn. Now I feel like an asshole.
Kyo: I don't, because I am one. I'm gonna riff on this fic 'til the cows come home.
Jessie: Well, we don't have much to go, anyway. The cows are already home.

Hey, it's me sonic the hedgehog 22334 sorry it took me so long to make chapter 2.

I haven't been on Fanfiction for a while so here it is

Sonic vs. Silkadom chapter 2

Miyu: *as she's pushing the author's note to the left* Why... was this centered?
Cassy: *as she's pushing the chapter to the left* I have no idea, dude.

Sonic was angry.

His rage was burning out of control.

Jessie: He then turned green and started talking in the third person.

He then lunged at Silkadom as the two continued to fight but then sonic sent Silkadom flying with one punch and then dashed towards him using super speed and kicked him in the stomach.

Silkadom tried to blast him with a chaos spear but sonic easily deflected it.

Kyo: Best fight scene ever. Everyone can go home now.

But then sonic turned back into his normal form

Cassy: Why? I thought you wanted to nuke him. Why are you going back to normal?
Kyo: Because he ran out of rings.

"You're much stronger than I thought you would be." Said Silkadom as he grinned and the corner of his lip began bleeding

Jessie: Oh, we missed you, blood packs!

"But are you prepared for this!" Silkadom yelled as he transformed.

Cassy: *as Silkadom* That wasn't even my final form!

His skin color had become green and his eyes were gray.

Miyu: Ah, so he has transformed into Hollywood Nuclear Waste the Hedgehog.

Silkadom shot a energy blast at sonic as he jumped into the air to dodge the blast, suddenly Silkadom appeared right behind sonic and punched him, sending him falling to the ground.

Sonic had barely managed to get up and he was covered in blood.

Jessie: *throws more blood packs*
Cassy: Where'd he land, a spike bed?
Miyu: Probably.

"He's too strong, at this rate I'll never be able to win." Sonic thought to himself as he began running but Silkadom used chaos control to appear right in front of him.

Suddenly the ground began to shake as shadow burst out in his super form with the seven chaos emeralds levitating around him.

Kyo: Well, that was random as heck.

" You fool, what are you waiting for!" Said shadow

Cassy: This is probably the only accurate thing that was said in this entire fic. Kinda makes me wonder why Sonic even depowered in the first place.
Jessie: Because it's Sonic '06: Part Two.
Kyo: So every hedgehog who isn't named Shadow is an idiot again?
Miyu: I guess so.

" Right." Said Sonic as he entered his super form

"Hmm things suddenly got interesting." Said Silkadom

Miyu: *adds a period* Now it's interesting.
Cassy: Dudes... I have no idea what I just read.
Kyo: *shrugs* We all have the same thoughts, Cass. I'm just going to leave and question myself now.
Jessie: Good idea. Might as well do the same my own self.

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