Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Three Riffers, Episode 8: The New Girl (KRZR24 version) (Part Twelve)

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Chapter 20

FINAL CHAPTER!!!! OMG, I HAVE BEEN WORKING SO HARD AND THIS STORY, AND NOW WE HAVE COME TO THE END!! AFTER MONTHS OF TOILING AND WORKING OUT THE IDEAS, AND TRASHING OTHER ONES, AND OTHER THINGS OF THE SORT, WE HAVE REACHED THE END!! SO I'LL SEE YOU ON THE OTHER END OF THE PAGE!! FAREWELL DEAR-

Sasha: You know you're dragging this waaaaaaaaaaay longer than necessary?

Amy: Why won't you die?! *sobs* Why won't you die?!
Sonic, Tails: *look at each other in confusion*
Tails: This fic really needs to end now.
Sonic: Yep.

Me: Yes, actually it was intentional. My point was to increase suspense. And why are you here?

Xavier: First of all, Sasha is one of the main protagonists in this story.

Sonic: Hey, uh... bro? She's no protagonist. Not with the crap that she did in this fic.

Secondly, since this is the concluding chapter in this saga, it would make sense that she would want to make a final appearance in this short introduction. Thirdly-

Me: QUIT USING SMART PEOPLE SPEECH!!! ANYBODY WANT TO TRANSLATE THIS FOR ME?

Tails: He was actually speaking in plain English. It's not his fault that you have pocket lint for brains.
Sonic: Great, you insulted pocket lint.
Tails: Also, I find it very hypocritical that she had her Mary Sue try to be intelligent, and this somehow trips her up.
Amy: The Suethor only cares about one of her three "original" characters. The other two are probably thrown on the train tracks like plot ragdolls.
Sonic: But they are plot ragdolls.
Amy: Exactly.

Shadow: Basically, he's saying that Sasha might want to pop up because she's a main character and that this is the last chapter.

Me: (calms down) Thanks. Now, we can-

Sonic: NO WE CAN'T!! WE STILL HAVEN'T SHOWN THE WORLD SHADOW'S TUTU PICTURES!!!

Amy, Tails: *groans*
Sonic: It's not funny! It's never been funny! It's never gonna be funny!

Shadow: What are you talking about, of course we have!!!!!! (wipes off beads of sweat)

Me: Lucky for you Shadow, we won't show the pictures...for now.

Shadow: I'm both relieved...and scared. Very scared.

Me: MWAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But seriously, I need to get on with this story. . .and my life. So on we -

Sonic: But we haven't said who's you're cousin yet.

Amy: Nobody cares!

Me: Eh, we'll it can wait til next story.

Sonic: But, we haven't told Chuck Norris jokes!

Sonic: No! Shut up! Shut up so we can get this dumb fic over with!

Me: . . .That can wait?

Sonic: But we-

All: Shut. Up.

Me: Trying to prevent me from typing the story really won't help your cause Sonic.

Sonic: What do you mean?

Sasha: Listen buddy, if you don't shut up so that KRZR24 can finish the story, you will go through pain so immense, you will want to cry yourself to sleep on a regular basis. So how about it?

Amy: I want to stick a million sewing needles into your skin, you diseased cockroach.
Tails: You know... that Sue... she's really unlikable. It's less pleasing when he shuts up, because we have to hear her talk.
Sonic: What was that about the Sue being a protagonist again? Yeah, I thought so.

Sonic: (Whimpers)

Silver: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Sasha: SILVER????? (runs away crying)

All: *indifferent*

Amy, Rouge, and Blaze: (simultaneously) There you are, Silver. (twitch, twitch)

Silver: Dear God, when I said a month ago that I wanted girls to notice me, I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!! (runs away screaming)

Sonic: Remember, we're supposed to feel sorry for the Sue and Silver's the bad guy.
Tails: ...it's not working.
Sonic: Oh, I definitely know that.

Me: On with the final chapter of . . . THE NEW GIRL!!!! (SEGA owns all characters save Xavier/Fabian, Sasha, and Joe)

I WANT TO THANK ANYBODY WHO BAROCKED THE VOTE 11/04/08!!!!! HUGE COOKIE FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sonic: Well, we know where the Suethor's political aspirations lie.
Amy: Politics won't save us from this trash.
Tails: Amy!

Sasha's POV

All: *sighs* Great...

I've kissed a lot of guys in my life, but never have I gone through such a random and electrifying one. A lot of girls always describe the fireworks that happen when they've met "THE ONE". I tend to ignore there tales because the girls at my school talk about one guy being their special someone, and the next day they call me, crying on their phone, and talking about how much of a jerk he is. In other words, I think all that stuff about your soul mate is total bull.

Amy: And yet, you dumped a guy just to hook up with Silver because you thought that he was "the one". Excuse me? Do you even realize how stupid you're sounding right now?
Tails: An idiot always gets offended when you call them what they are, Amy.

But, when Silver popped one on me, I was totally shocked. Saying that that kiss was like fireworks is the understatement of the century (not that it was that long in the first place). I was in total bliss. Like you wouldn't even know. And that is my (and everyone else's) story's happy ending.

Sonic: With all the crap that you've pulled, do you really deserve a happy ending?
Tails: You also noticed that she put herself first and basically made the other characters extras with that line, right?
Sonic: She's a Sue, Tails. They're supposed to do that.

Wait, what the hell am I on?

Tails: Trust us, you don't want us to tell you what you're on.

I'm not done yet!! My story doesn't even have a happy ending!!

Amy: *perks up, gasps* It doesn't?!
Sonic: Wait, what?! *applauds* Yes! Yes! She's gonna be miserable!
Tails: You know... if people react like that when we're supposed to be feeling sorry for her... you're doing it all wrong.

What the hell is my problem??

Amy: Oh, you have a whole list of problems...

Thinking about those happy memories probably made me forget what happened the next week. I mean, anyone would want to end the story so that everyone would have a happy ending. Sonic and Amy. Shadow and Blaze. Knuckles and Rouge. And Silver and me. Sasha. Perfect right? Apparently not according to SOMEBODY, who managed in one week to bring me close, and then break my heart.

Tails: Oh, of course she's going to blame someone else for the problems that she caused.
Sonic: Mary Sues hate that useless thing that normal people with brains call "taking responsibility for their words and actions".

Here's how it started;

Since every girl got the guy, Xavier wasn't needed, so we sent him home, so that he wouldn't be there when we told the guys who he REALLY was. They all laughed that really fake laugh people have when they're really really pissed, and started looking around for him. We were choking on laughter from their expressions, and we were thinking that someday, they would look back at this and laugh. . .hopefully. Those were the good times.

Amy: That wasn't funny. This "I'm going to kill this guy because he looked at my woman!" garbage isn't funny at all. This Sue has a really warped sense of humor.
Tails: Can it really be called "humor", Amy?
Amy: Nope.

After Silver and I were together for one week, Sonic crew (why they're called tat after a moron who can't tell his left foot from his right, I will never know)

Sonic: Amy...
Amy: Yes?
Sonic: Call Jessie and James. I want to see a giant hole in her face by the time we're done with this crap fic.
Tails: *blinks* I should never anger hedgehogs.

got an invite to this popular club. Why I said that Sonic crew got one and I didn't was because I had gotten the invite two months ago. Not trying to be conceited,

Amy: But... you are conceited.

but I'm kind of a "mini-celebrity" from where I come from, and my friend's mom's cousin was the dude who was starting it up. Naturally, I was invited.

Amy: And that just proved it. Conceited.
Tails: Great, now the Sue has to gush about how "wonderful" she is.
Amy: She's so vain that she probably thinks that every song is about her.
Sonic: Man, she's twenty times worse than Sonia!

The club was called Insomnia, because if you went there, you shouldn't plan on going to sleep that night.

Sonic: I already have insomnia because this horror fic will keep me up at night.

Anyways, although Sonic gets many things wrong, he was smart enough NOT to let anyone outside his inside circle know his actual age (along with the rest of the group), so they were allowed to go into the club no questions asked. Since I was a special VIP, I was automatically in, and no one asked how old I was too, except for the five guys that tried (and epicly failed) to hit one me.

Sonic: So, uh... where's the part where we're supposed to feel sorry for her?
Tails: I have no idea.
Amy: *annoyed* Why can't she just shut up? I don't want to hear paragraps about how "great" she is! I don't care! Get on with this stupid fic so we can finally put it out of its misery! Because it's been going on way too long for my tastes!

Silver (how I hate that name right now),

Tails: It's one thing to hate the person who hurt your brother... but it's another thing when you were the one who set your brother up to get hurt in the first place. Again, who's the real bad guy here? Because it's not Silver.
Amy: We hate the name "Sasha" a lot more than we hate the name "Silver" right now.
Sonic: *turns to the audience* We apologize to any readers of this riffing who happen to be named Sasha. We are so sorry that you are sharing a name with one of the worst Mary Sues that we have ever encountered.
Amy: We should also apologize to every reader named Kathryn. *turns to the audience* We're sorry that we were incredibly late with that apology, people named Kathryn.

managed to glare down each and everyone. Same thing happened to Rouge and Knuckles. And Sonic x Amy, and Shadow x Blaze. I wasn't the only one who found it hilarious. Some purple chameleon was laughing the whole time.

Amy: Stop it. None of this will ever be funny.
Sonic: *flatly* Oh, look. An Espio cameo.

So, 5 hours after the opening, everyone was pretty much wasted, and no one was ready to drive anyone home. So we hung out, and I talked to my friend, made some new ones, got some numbers, made Silver jealous (that was pretty fun), got jealous (not so much fun; there was this bitchy squirrel with red hair (guess who)

Sonic: And there's the cherry on top of the garbage sundae. Sally. Because we needed some good ol' Sally Acorn bashing.
Tails: I don't get it. Why do bad Sonic writers hate Sally so much?
Amy: I don't know. It doesn't help when their own Mary Sue is ten times worse than she is!
Tails: Also, Sally's a chipmunk, not a squirrel. Mai and Axl are squirrels. They have long and bushy tails, while Sally's tail is... oh, who am I kidding, Suethors don't listen to criticism.

who for like three hours was trying to grind with him; lucky for her, Silver wasn't interested), and had the time of my life. That is, until about 1 am.

Amy: Is this where we're supposed to enjoy the Sue's misery?
Sonic: *rubs his hands together in glee* Oh, I'm ready. Bring it on!

We had a VIP room just to ourselves, and at some point, all the guys went in there to talk. I felt bad about making Silver jealous so many times,

Tails: No, you didn't. If you did, you would have never started that dumb "operation".

so I went to the room to ask him to dance (we only danced like three times), but when I got there, I heard the guys were whispering about something. Out of curiosity, I stayed outside the room and listened. And that's when I heard this:

??: Dude, did you see that girl with Silver?

??: Yeah, what's her name, Sasha?

??: Yeah, her. Did you see what she was doing?

??: What?

??: I wasn't paying attention.

??: Maybe. What she do?

Silver: I'm back!!

??: She was acting like a total slut, and was dancing with every single guy in sight.

Silver: Who, Sa-oh yeah, definetly.

I didn't want to stay around that long and hear my boyfriend dissing me in front of the guys. The only reason I do that anyways is because although I may not look like it, I'm really insecure.

All: Yeah, right!
Amy: If she was really insecure... she wouldn't have insulted half of the cast during this stupid "story".
Tails: It gets even dumber. Sally and Sasha's names both start with "Sa", obviously. She didn't even bother to wait for clarification and automatically assumed that it was her.
Sonic: So... she's an idiot. Heh, we knew that a long time ago, buddy.

Like, I used to have anorexia.

All: *flatly* What.
Sonic: Okay, no. This crap's just shoehorned in to make us feel sorry for her. I'm sorry, but I can't have any sympathy for an abusive Mary Sue who plays with people's emotions, ripped off an old man, was rude to and taked down to Amy, was rude to the neighbors with a giant megaphone, used the guys like puppets... and put my fic self in the hospital. And then she continued to insult "me" after that. Heck, she just called my fic self a moron less than five minutes ago!
Amy: Not to mention that her stupid "plan" got her brother injured.
Tails: And if she was really insecure, why the heck are we just learning about this now? We were shown an overconfident, cocky, vain, and incredibly annoying Sue! Now we're being told this stuff way out of left field? No. No, I don't buy it. She is, was, and will always be a Jerk Sue.

Amy helped me out with it and stuff, but I still am frightfully insecure about my looks and my body.

Sonic: This is coming from the Sue who proudly wears brand name clothing all over the place.
Amy: This is coming from the Sue who Silver gushed over at first sight and compared my fic self to a cardboard box.
Tails: This is coming from the Sue who... well, is a Sue.

My first boyfriend is the reason for that. He was always talking about how fat and ugly I was, and I really liked him, so I would believe it. If it weren't for friends and family, I would probably be a twig right now.

Amy: Well, her personality's ugly.
Sonic: Man, this is bull dung.
Tails: Again, it's still jarring when she constantly insulted her friends and family throughout the fic!
Amy: *as the Sue* Sure, they helped me, but they all suck! And they're all dense and stupid, and I like treating them like crap! I'm a big ol' jerk! Love me!

Anyways, when your insecure about your body, you would probably want to hear/get a lot of compliments from guys, especially strangers. If my friends say, "Oh Sasha, you look smexy today", I have no reason to believe them becuase they could be lying so that I don't feel bad. But, when a guy who is a total stranger comes up to me and tells me that I'm hot, they have no reason to lie to me, so I can believe it.

Tails: So... you won't believe your friends, but you'll believe some random guy? *confused* Sonic, Amy... I don't get this Sue.
Sonic: Don't feel bad, buddy. We don't get her, either.
Amy: *nods*

And I flirt with guys because I find it fun to see their reactions.

Sonic: But manipulating them like puppets? Whoo, that's just thrilling!

But, I won't be dating one guy, and then start making out with another. That's slutty.

Amy: I really don't need you to tell me what is and isn't "slutty" when you have the morals of a dried up and sunburned worm.

And if I'm called a slut by my friends, I know their kidding. But when you boyfriend says you are, behind your back, then you know its either serious or its time for you and your guy to say goodbye (Amy: OMG, SHE TOTALLY UNINTENTIONALLY RHYMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

All: Shut up!
Amy: Jeez, this fic is so annoying!

So, I called a cab, told Amy I'm off, called Silver, made sure I left a voicemail, packed my stuff up, left a note, and left. Sure I would miss the friends I made here, but the pain is not worth it, and so I'm going home.

Tails: *waves* Bye! Bye! Don't come back! *stops waving* That was a weird feeling.
Sonic: Don't feel weird, I'll wave with you! *waves*
Amy: Me, too! *waves for a moment before stopping* You know, I just realized something. She caused pain to almost everyone, but the minute something blows up in her face, she turns tail and runs away! Why are we supposed to like her again?
Sonic: I don't know. It only tells me that she's a coward.

Amy's POV

I can't believe it. She left. I thought that everything was working out perfectly fine between them. Apparently not.

Amy: Goodbye, farewell, I hope she dies in a fiery bus crash.

When in the club, she told me she was leaving, I thought she sounded kind of sad. And if I weren't so drunk, I probably would have noticed the sigh in her voice. But my Sasha alarm doesn't work when I'm drunk, so I hugged her and kept on dancing with the girls.

Sonic: After this, I'm drinking to scrub this fic out of my head.
Amy: Seriously, "The White Hedgehog" wasn't even this bad, and I still hate that fic!

When we got back at 4, I went straight to bed because I was really tired, and planned on sleeping off the hangover that would kill in the morning. Woke up at one, and then read the note. It was too late to talk to her, and there was no need; everything she needed to say was there on the paper. I quickly called up Rouge and Blaze, and rushed to the guys house, ready to kill.

Tails: Remember, it's never the Sue's fault!

Busting in, I saw Tails and Shadow playing a video game. I'm sure I looked pretty wild with her blown to the side, and my hammer out.

Sonic: Uh-oh, it's Crazy Amy!
Amy: Do not call me that. "Angry Amy" will be just fine, thank you!

They told me to go upstairs and to the left as if they knew where he was. So, I followed that direction, and found Sonic sleeping on his bed. They got it wrong. I rushed around the house, trying to find him, but he wasn't there. But before I could run out to look for him, Sonic woke up, grabbed me, and kissed me, distracting me slightly. . .who am I kidding, a lot. After not stalking him for a while, I forgot how cute he looked in the morning. Sigh. . .

But before I completely sidetracked, I remembered my cousin. Sure, many people say that she can be a female dog, but she's a really kind person at heart.

Amy: Stop! Lying! To! Us! There's nothing that is kind about that... oh, my god! *angrily explodes into glitter*
Tails: *shocked* What the heck?!
Sonic: I'm surprised that she didn't explode sooner. Oh, well. *sweeps Amy up*
Amy: *reforms* Show, don't tell, Suethor!
Tails: She... kept going.
Sonic: Hey, she's a trooper.
Tails: Also, I find it very odd that fic Amy didn't say the "B" word when it came to her "cousin", but no time was wasted in calling Sally one.
Sonic: Double standards, Tails.

She's like the older brother I never had; ready to beat up Sonic at a moment's notice. (and like an older brother, she STRONGLY disliked Sonic. . .to the point of coming over here and nearly killing him in his sleep (Sonic: *whimpers*)) Sure, she had kind of a short temper, but why should I be talking. 5 years of anger management still has helped me. (Silver: 5 YEARS??? (MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!))

Tails: Because abuse is funny.
Sonic: Tell me why we're supposed to like that Sue again.
Amy: No idea. I hate her even more now.

So, to his shock, before we could delve into something slightly less innocent than a kiss, I rushed out, hoping that it would be easier to find Silver with Rouge looking in the north, Blaze looking in the south, and me looking east and west.

Thirty seconds after running, I looked back just out of curiosity. Surprisingly, there was Sonic, dashing after me, gaining on me every second. Quickly, I fished through my pockets, and found the object that I needed; the remote.

Let me explain.

All: *groans in frustration*
Amy: Not another stupid infodump!

Twenty hours before Sasha came, Tails had given me his fully working shoes. They looked just like an ordinary pair of (surprise, surprise) pink Sketchers, BUT if necessary, they could run faster than Sonic. I guess that Tails felt bad for me about all the times that I chased after Sonic, and he just kept running, that he decided to put him in his place. After a couple test runs (they worked), they were ready for use. However, since Sash decided to initiate her special plans BEFORE I could test them, they never came into use. . . until today.

Tails: And we'll never see this stupid plot device after its one and only use!

After hearing about the time Silver ran away from Cream when she asked "the question" (see chapters 11-13),

Sonic: Number one, I got tired of "the question", and number two... stop holding our hands.

I decided that in order for my task to work, I would need to be able to run faster than Sonic. Look how well they come in handy.

And so, just before he could grab me, the shoes activated, and I went sprinting off. Just for revenge, I turned around and stuck my tongue at him. He stood there in shock for a couple seconds, and then he smiled and began to run after me. All in all, it was pretty fun. Then, I decided to tease him for a second, so I just stopped, and ran right past him. He smirked and then continued.

Amy: This would've been cute if we didn't have more abuse after this.

But, I needed to get back to my work, so I winked back at him, and set the running speed to high, and disappeared from sight. Two and a half milliseconds later, I found Silver.

Sonic: Where? Was he on the toilet?

By then, Rouge and Blaze had just gotten there, and they were waiting for him before we attacked him. Right before we pounced however, I heard him sniffle. And I saw he was talking on the phone. I listened carefully, and heard him saw, "Sasha, Please talk to me! I need to tell you what really happened. It wasn't like that at all! I don't think it's fair for either of us for you not to the truth. Please call me back. Silver."

Tails: You're leaving a voicemail, not a letter!

I called the attack off, and asked him what really happened. Then he told me.

Amy: Do any of us really care about what "really" happened?

Silver's POV

The guys and I were talking and stuff,

All: "And stuff".
Tails: Their vocabularies are quite limited.
Amy: That's because everyone's collective IQ happens to be about five.
Sonic: A positive number?
Amy: Well, Tails is in that fic, and he's not incredibly dumb.
Sonic: Yeah, you're right.

and we were all wasted. Sonic had 5 drinks, Shadow had 4, and Knuckles had 10!, and I had 6.

Amy: And if you combine all of that, a total of twenty-five drinks...
Sonic: ...which still won't be enough to make you forget this fic.

I went to go get some coffee so that I would feel better (just to let you guys know, coffee makes you feel better, but it doesn't speed up the pace for your body to lower your blood alcohol content),

Tails: Don't you talk down to me. I'll blow you up.
Sonic: *snickers* I thought that you didn't have a rocket, Tails.
Tails: I don't. I only have bombs.

and when I came back, I heard Sonic and some guys he knew talking about someone. They were talking about some slut, and I automatically assumed it was Sally.

Amy: Keep in mind that we know nothing about Sally in this fic.
Sonic: Suethor hates her, so we're supposed to hate her, too.
Tails: ...it's not working.
Sonic, Amy: We know.
Amy: Also, I love how the Sue called other girls a "slut", but when it's directed towards her, she throws a fit.
Tails: Well, as Sonic told me earlier... double standards, Amy.

For some reason, the club owner's decided to invite her, even though everyone hates her. But, to my surprise, after talking for a couple seconds, I find out they were talking about Sasha.

Sonic: Even though the Sue used most of the guys in this fic to further her own stupid plan. And everyone somehow loves her!

I then did what any other guy would do; I beat the hell out of them. And I told Sonic that he might want to watch his tongue, cause Sasha and I would not be afraid to shank him up and down Sesame Street (inside joke).

Amy: Oh, great. An in-joke that we'll never get because we're not in the Suethor's mind.
Tails: Well, doesn't fic Sonic have a right to hate her? I mean, she put him in the hospital!
Sonic: You're always the "bad person" if you call the Sue out.

I was disgusted with them, so I left the club.

Sonic: Not good enough! Run out of the fic!

The next morning, I woke up, and saw I had a new voicemail. When I listened to it, I heard it was Sasha, and she was pretty depressed. Listening to it, I realized that she was basically telling me that she never ever wanted to talk/hear/see me ever again.

Tails: Tell me why this is a bad thing.

I tried to call her, but she refused to pick up. The only thing I could do was leave a voicemail, and probably, she would delete before she could even her a word I said. In other words, from 1:00 AM, my cause was a lost one.

Amy: Much like this fic.

Amy's POV

That is probably the saddest tale I will ever live to hear/tell. Two lovers, destined to be together, yet cruelly forced apart by the hands of fate. . .

Tails: That wasn't destiny. Those two never even knew each other or got to know each other. We had no development!
Sonic: Kyo and Emi were sandwiched better than that, and that was a messy and random fic.
Amy: I'll never understand that fic... but at least it didn't make me explode.
Sonic: You're right. It only made Manic explode.

That was probably the most poetic sentence I have ever written.

. . .and bad timing. (I didn't want to mess up that sentence's poeticalness)

Tails: "Poeticalness" isn't a word. Does this cast enjoy having spaghetti noodles for brains?
Amy: Yes. And that's an insult to spaghetti.

So this is where the story ends. Not all tales have a happy ending, and this is one of the ones that don't.

Sonic: Oh, well. Like I give a rip about that Sue's black heart.

Sasha stayed where she is,

Amy: Oh, so she went back to her rightful home.
Sonic: Hell?
Amy: Hell.

Silver stayed where he is, both depressed, but neither willing to go to the other (Silver was too scared (I don't want to sound mean or anything, but he is a wimp) and Sasha's mind was not willing to come here).

Tails: Wait, why is he a wimp when the Sue doesn't want to go see him as well?
Sonic: Because we're supposed to feel sorry for that idiot. I know, it's not working. And it will never work.

Sasha refused to listen to anyone about the real side of the story, and I highly doubt she ever will.

Amy: So... that makes her a wimp, too! You know, I hope that she's going to remain miserable. She dug her hole and made her bed. Now she needs to lie in both of them, because she brought all of this on herself. She got what she deserved, and I do not feel sorry for her at all. And I don't care if I'm "evil" for thinking that.
Sonic: Man, Sonia was right. Karma did catch up to her.
Tails: Unfortunately, it wasn't hard enough.
Amy: And did you know that everything in this fic would've been avoided if everyone just talked to each other?
Sonic: Ames, you're using logic. Everyone had to be stupid for a plot to even happen.
Tails: But there was no plot in this fic! The only real "plot" was that dumb "plan"!
Sonic: Oh. Well, then. This fic just shot itself in the foot, didn't it?
Amy: No. It shot itself in the stomach with a cannon.

Trust me, I cried while typing this up,

All: *indifferent*
Tails: There's... really nothing to cry over.

and this was my second least favorite chapter to write (after chapter 15). BUT, it had to be done in order to have a sequel. And since there is a sequel, there is always the chance for reconciliation. So be happy!!

Sonic: Why? Those two idiots don't need to reconcile!

And review!! Actually, I changed my mind about my next story. I'm going to post it as soon as I possibly can. And feel free to give my ideas on what I should write for a memoir if I were an Ancient Egyptian servant who worked in the royal palace. The more help I get, the more I can write these stories!!

Tails: Do they involve poorly done love triangles with a messy plan that'll blow up in the Mary Sue's face, too?
Sonic: *snickers*

And if you have any comments on how I am using the OOC card on Sally, I really don't give a damn, because I hate her guts. And if you have a problem with that, don't read this story, or its sequels.

Sonic: *facepalms* Oh, boy.
Amy: I can't believe that we got smashed with that card at the end of this fic.
Tails: *confused* Wait, Suethor, how can you say that you want criticism, and then snap at those who do give it? What is going on with you?
Sonic: Like a true hack writer, not only does she hate criticism, but she also used the "Don't like, don't read" card! *sarcastically claps* Suethor, you're not going to make anything with those "authoress powers" at this rate!
Amy: *points at the screen* Listen, you. If you didn't want it to be criticized, you shouldn't have posted it online.
Tails: Why do bad writers always use that card?
Sonic: Because they're bad writers. That's the only answer that I can give you.
Amy: And you know what? Just because you used that overplayed card that's been chewed by moths, Suethor... we're going to riff the pants off of your sequels. The gloves are off.
Sonic: Ames, you literally atomized your gloves while we riffed.

And, I need a title for my next story. Its around Thanksgiving, so send in some ideas. It would be nice if it had something to do with holiday spirit. Thanks if you put one in.

Amy: Will the main course involve shoving a frozen turkey up the Sue's butt?
Tails: Only as long as it isn't a holiday ham.
Sonic: Rory would have a fit. You don't waste ham when he's around. Also... why is everyone trying to shove something up someone else's butt? You're jumping on that train too, Ames?
Amy: It's stress relief!
Sonic: You let out your stress on three screens today!

Shout out to everyone who reviewed during the story's beginning and later stages. Really and truly, I appreciate it. And start sending in your characters for my next next story. I'm putting in any and every character in, Cosmo and Sally come back, Eggman makes an appearance, and even Omega drops by. So keep an eye out on those.

Amy: Too bad that Eggman wasn't in this fic. He probably would've blown everything up.
Sonic: I never thought that I'd see the day where I wished that Eggman would launch a giant rocket at me.

And if you were dying to know, my cousin is Solar-the-Hedgehog. And I think you should read Fallen Leaves stories, and Sonikka's,

Tails: ...who were probably the only people who praised the Suethor to the sky and back...

and if you want an ad for one of your stories, post the story title as a review, and since I'm on Fanfiction a lot, I'll check it out. If I like it, I'll post up a commercial. If not, then I'll send you some tips on what you might want to improve on.

Sonic: Why would I want to take tips from you when you can't take criticism your own self?

And don't forget to send these to me too. Don't feel bad about telling me where I have a typo.

Tails: Typos are the least of this fic's problems.

I think I mentioned everything, so adieu, adieu, to you, and you, and you!!! (Sound of Music fan here)

Signing out,

KRZR24

Amy: Good riddance to bad rubbish.
Tails: What a relief. Glad that this awful fic's over.
Sonic: Yep. I need a vacation.
Tails: You're getting one right after you riff another fic.
Sonic: Wait, what? Wait a sec, I'm not getting a break?
Amy: None of us are. We have to riff with Sonia and Manic tomorrow.
Sonic: *groans* This fic better not get on my nerves, then.
Tails: I hope not.
Amy: Same.

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