Mystery Science Theater En Masse

Special Episode 7: The Scar (Part One)

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1. The Black Scar

The Scar

A Mortal Kombat Fanfiction

A.N. Inspired by the spectacular amazingful game of Mortal Kombat, I wasn't really a true fan until my friend forced me to play Mortal Kombat Armageddon. And I like fell in love with the game, so I looked into the series, found as many of the original games as I could and have been a true fan ever since.

Sonic: And that's how you become a fan.
Mai: Personally, I like looking into the lore a lot more fun, but that's just me.

The most recent one Mortal Kombat 9, (or Mortal Kombat 2011) really was the main trigger point for this story.

James: Wait, what?
Jessie: It was recent when this fic first came out. So it's not wrong... by this fic's first publishing date.

And I just immediately mentally inserted myself into the story and gave myself an arsenal, and a fighters name along with my real one, (yes you'll see my real name in this, if you wanna hunt me down then bring it on) and obviously since I'm a teenage guy, the girls Kitana, Jade, and Mileena, REALLY caught my eye…for like a full 48 minutes.

All: *groans*
Amy: *sighs* Here we go again...
Emi: Not another self-insert fic!
Cassy: Dude, how many of these do we need?
Keiko: Enough to make us get to the middle of the street before Nikaido does it.

Lol, give me a break, so I got a crush on a Edenian princess, a loyal bodyguard, and a Edenian/Tarkatan clone.

James: So do a lot of other folk. Get in line, mate.

I was thinking about putting Sonya Blade into this mix too, but I don't really like her as much as the others. I mean don't get me wrong, she's hot just I don't think she'll fit to well in this mix.

Keiko: Translation: She's not pleasing enough for his penis.
Sonic: Pfft.

If I feel devious enough I might put her in but no promises. Maybe I'll put up a poll for her or something on my profile and see how you guys feel about this.

Same goes for Skarlet, only I really wanna include her in this somehow. I just need to think of a way to fit her into the plot, which I will…eventually.

Amy: She barely had any story... well, aside from a backstory. Can't blame anyone for that.

Anywhore, this story is rated T for right now but the rating will change later on to M obviously because there will be violence, language, and sex in this. So my self-inserted OC will be getting some action. :DDD!

All: *groans*
Sonic: Shoot me.
Jessie: Nope.
Cassy: It's Benji. This is looking awful, dudes.
James: Nothing says "true fan" like bonking some fictional ladies.
Sonic: Well, my sister says that there's nothing wrong with having fantasies and daydreams. It's the blatant desperation that bothers her.

Lol, but this won't be PWP (porn without plot) it will actually follow the story of Mortal Kombat, only with my OC thrown in, and putting a little romance between a few of the lovely ladies there. But when I say the story, I don't mean THE story. It will follow the story line of the arcade mode really more than the campaign.

Amy: So... we're just going to ruin the plot, just like in "Outcast Saga". Okay, neat!

Also I'm gonna try and keep this realistic, so if an X-ray move is performed by certain characters it will be a kill. Sorry if you were hoping for a lot of bone cracking goodness. There will still be X-ray moves in this story, just not in every single fight.

Emi: That's okay, they'll just return at the character select screen.

Any and all flames on this story are going to be hysterically laughed at and mocked. So really don't even bother. And all religious and parental sticks in the mud, go bore somebody else like seriously. Constructive criticism is welcome.

Jessie: Anyone wanna make a bet that he'll hate this riffing?
Cassy: Ooh, ooh, I wanna make a bet!
Keiko: Even though riffing is technically a long-winded critique?
Sonic: Yep. Praise this fic. No negative stuff.
Amy: You're asking the wrong people for that, Sonic.

Disclaimer: I don't own Mortal Kombat or any of the characters in the game. Nor do I own Army of Two, Kick-Ass, or Albert Wesker.

James: The hell does that have to do with anything?
Cassy: Beats me.

Our main character's name is Kyle by the way, but he goes by the name Black Scar when he's in Mortal Kombat (sounds racist I know).

Jessie: That's... not racist.

Just throwing that out there to avoid confusion. He's not a Gary Stu by the way,

All: *laughs*
Sonic: *as he wipes his tears* Oh, yeah, he's gonna be a Stu.

but if he ever starts to seem like it just let me know and I'll punish myself.

Emi: And then when that happens, there will be no improvements. We will only double down on the Stu-ness. We've played this game before.

I apologize if any of the characters start to seem a little OOC (out of character) I'll try to keep them as close to their personalities as possible.

This story is also one of those that will switch from P.O.V. to P.O.V. so…yeah fun fact.

James: Please let it be character to character...
Amy: Nope. Switches between first and third.
Mai: *facepalms* I never asked for this...

EDIT MARCH 15 2015: I have to warn everyone now, the first few chapters of this were written when I was fifteen and very childish, please bare with the beginning here because I can promise you all that it does in fact get better as the story goes on. Characters are OOC at first and my OC feels very gary stu like but I've corrected myself and I'm hoping you all can be merciful and just power through the beginning chapters and please don't judge me on the early parts.

Keiko: Have you ever thought about... I don't know... editing?!
Jessie: Nope. That's why we're here.

FIGHT!

Sonic: What, now? I don't wanna fight. If I fight these guys, I might get my skull crushed, or I may get shot in the face, or blown up... or have my skin shredded... or I'll get burned up.
Emi: Um... thanks, Sonic.

Kyle's P.O.V.

The white glow of the moon combined with the bright orange lights of the many torches illuminated the surrounding area, dimly but at least I could see through the eye slits of my hockey mask.

James: And then he tripped over his feet.

But my mask wasn't an ordinary one, you see…I'm somewhat of a tinkering type of person. I love working with metal and small devices. I'm no engineer but I am good with my hands.

Cassy: You sure? Wanna get into a building contest with Rory or Tails, dude?
Amy: Challenge Tails.

Perhaps it would be best to just tell you who I am and why I'm wearing a hockey mask and a large selection of other gear.

Mai: Under other circumstances, that would be nice.
Keiko: We're getting a dumb infodump, aren't we?
Mai: You know it.

My real name is Kyle Phillips. I'm 16 years old, my height is 6'1, I weigh 187 pounds, I've got dark brown hair that reaches down my neck but doesn't touch my shoulders and my bangs hang in front of my eyes a little. Dark brown eyes, and I have a pretty good muscle build but sadly I'm not as bulky as some of the other dudes here.

Emi: This always happens. Always. The self-insert guys are always muscular, and the self-insert ladies are always skinny... and may or may not have giant breasts.
Amy: Also, why would a 16 year old be in this ruthless tournament? Most competitors from Earthrealm are at least 20.

The guy in the yellow palette outfit with the mask on had a similar build to mine but his muscles were still a little bigger than mine.

Jessie: He's a ghost, sweetie. It's okay. Wait, is he a ghost? What the hell do they call guys like Scorpion?
Amy: Specters?
Cassy: I think that's another word for "ghost", dude.
Sonic: I thought they called him a "wraith".
Cassy: That's another word for "ghost".
Jessie: Then he's a damn ghost, end of story.

These guys were making me look downright skinny.

James: Hope you're not comparing dick sizes later.
Emi: *facepalms* Honestly, Mr. Daniels...

Even though back home I was a person you really didn't wanna fuck with, but now I really didn't wanna fuck with anyone here, although I knew I would have to soon. That's what this tournament was all about.

It was about Mortal Kombat.

Anyway, I should probably finish telling you who I am. Everything you just heard about me is only half of me. The other half is the warrior I created one year ago, his name is Black Scar.

Keiko: Can I opt out?
Everyone else: Nope!

When I was fourteen I witnessed an assault, a teenage guy had the shit kicked out of him by two older men in leather jackets and both had some type of mask on. I hated myself for watching that happen and not doing anything about it.

Sonic: I guess calling the cops was out of the question, huh?

It literally ate away at me for months until the same thing happened to me, I was also mugged and after that happened I finally decided that I wasn't gonna let this continue to happen.

Amy: Yeah, there are no cops in No-Name City.
Emi: Wait a minute. This guy says that he did nothing about it for months. Do you know what could've happened in that timeframe? They could've mugged or even killed others!
Mai: You're using logic, Emi. We needed an excuse to have that dumb "dark and tragic past" stuff.
Emi: Also, he said that he did nothing until he got beaten up.
Mai: It's only okay until stuff happens to Sues and Stus.

I had been taking up karate lessons my entire life but that pushed me to move to a more advanced class and practiced the art of Jujitsu.

Keiko: And... you didn't use those skills to fend off the attackers?
James: Probably the "fight or flight" thing. Also, jujitsu is different from karate... so... I'm lost.

I reached my black belt status after a few years of training and decided that I was ready for what I was about to do.

My father was a gun collector and somewhat of a world war III nut. So I stole a few things from his house, and I adjusted them to create a warrior.

My uniform consists of a black T-shirt, thick black jeans held tight to my legs with a black leather belt and tucked into heavy black combat boots. Covering my black T-shirt is a Kevlar vest strong enough to stop bullets and fragmentation being high class ballistic protection, but using my brother in law's welding skills I've fashioned a little extra protection into it. I designed basically a rib cage made of brown tinted steel that hooks into the vest from the back and comes around to the front giving the vest the appearance of being ribbed. Four ribs cover the lower parts of the vest on each side and are held together from the spine like design on the back. The ribs are one and a half inches thick of solid steel and can stop a pistol caliber bullet dead in it's tracks. Sure it makes the vest a little heavier but protection is important.

Jessie: Wait, wait, wait, stop. His father would've noticed that all of that stuff was missing.
Cassy: Even worse is that he looks like a two-bit version of Stryker.
James: No, he's just preparing for a United flight.

As I told you before, a white mask is covering my face only I fiddled with that a bit too. To cover all of the exposed holes in the mask I used a powerful adhesive to insert steel plates into the mask which took hours getting them into the correct position inside the mask. I then did the same thing to the exterior, covering the front as well. So the steel covers everything except for the eyes, much like the masks in the video game Army of Two. Those two spots are the only area where a weak spot on me is exposed. And although the mask covers my face only the clip goes around to the back of my head, so all my hair is exposed along with my vulnerable squishy flesh. Also I painted the grey steel that covered the mask entirely white but over the left eye slit I have painted on it a long black line that looks like it was gouged open with some type of serrated blade.

Mai: *as she gets out her sketchbook* You're going to pass out from asphyxiation...
Amy: Also, your character shouldn't know about other games. It ruins the flow of things... then again, Benji did that, and look how well that went.
Sonic: Poorly.

The scar.

That's where my name came from, the Black Scar.

Sonic: The Black Scar is hiding his Blue Face. Also, we have a title drop, and it's dumb.

There are black wrist guards on each of my arms for obviously wrist, and forearm protection, and black finger-less leather gloves cover my hands. My favorite color is black so I made sure to incorporate it whenever I possibly could.

Cassy: Because it's edgy, you see. By the way, do I have a leg to stand on since my clothes are black?
Keiko: Barely.

That's my outfit, my weapons though are a different story.

James: ...we're still going on with this bloody bullshit? Y'know, there's a difference between an introduction and this boring, long winded tripe!

Holstered on my back is an 1887 bootlegged Winchester lever action shotgun. They're really rare nowadays but my dad had managed to get his hands on one and I took it with me due to my love for lever action rifles. It's a ten gauge that holds five rounds in a tubular magazine, my personal favorite weapon. Two Smith & Wesson performance center Model 629 revolver magnums are holstered at my hips. And next to the shotgun on my back I have a Grey eagle heavy duty machete. The blade itself is only sixteen inches, but including the handle it is a large 23 inches, perfect for cutting off limbs. And lastly if all else fails I have a nice scorpion brass knuckle bowie knife sheathed on my left ankle. The blade itself is only seven inches while the entire thing is thirteen.

Sonic: This just in: Nobody cares!
Emi: *exasperated* Oh, my god! This is incredibly dull!
Jessie: Benji wrote this shit, didn't he?
Mai: Sounds like something he'd write. We might as well say that we're reading stuff written by his twin.
James: Exactly. They're both compensating for something.

But what confuses me the most is that some of these other people lined up next to me, supposedly ready to fight in this tournament, have brought almost no weapons at all. While a few others are armed to the teeth with weapons.

Keiko: Yeah, kid, here's the thing... it's in a fantasy setting.
Amy: I'll never understand why Gary Stus try to apply reality to fictional universes.
Keiko: And then the Stus perfom incredibly unrealistic tasks.
Amy: Exactly.

Oh! That's right, I should tell you where I am and why I'm here too.

All: No! Don't!

About two weeks ago, it was the 1 year anniversary of me becoming Black Scar and quite literally fighting crime in the streets. I actually felt a bit like the people from the movie Kick-Ass, performing vigilantly justice.

James: This vigilante is about to throw the F7 key at your arse.

Only I wasn't as merciful or as clumsy as Kick-Ass, I knew what I was doing. And if I thought a person was evil enough, I didn't hesitate to put a round in their head.

Cassy: Remember, he's the protagonist! He's always perfect!
Mai: *scoffs* It never impressed me in those awful action movies, and it doesn't impress me now. You are not the judge, jury, and the executioner, Stu. Seriously, what if you killed an innocent person?
Sonic: Doesn't matter, he's a "vigilantly"!

I've done this for six months, I've done a lot during this time.

For a while I was getting away with it, I thought I was unstoppable, but apparently somebody knew what I was doing all along.

Jessie: Unfortunately, it wasn't a federal task force.

When I got home one day, waiting for me in the mail was an envelope saying it was an invitation to a tournament called Mortal Kombat. Where warriors from all around would clash in a tournament to find the ultimate fighter, basically the last part of the invitation said there would be a pretty nice prize for the winner, cash wise. And in the current shit state of my living arrangements, I needed the money.

Emi: What the heck?! This isn't KOF! Why would a secret fantasy tournament bother to send invitations through the United States Postal Service?!
Sonic: Alright, educate me. What's the difference?
Amy: Well, the King of Fighters tournament is known worldwide, Sonic. We should know, since we're sitting on the Neo Esaka's stage right now. That's number one.
Sonic: Oh. Heh, should've known about that.
Amy: Indeed. And number two, the notices to the Mortal Kombat tournament were given out in secret or through certain organizations, not mailed to people's homes. At least that's how it was shown in the film.
Sonic: Oh, okay. By the way, did the tournament ever come with a cash prize?
Amy: No, but that was probably used to lure in certain competitors. The original tournament was solely used to stop Outworld from winning their tenth tournament and taking over Earthrealm. However, in one version of the original game, the ultimate prize happened to be "your continued existence".

So hardly without any thinking,

James: He's gonna die.

I packed up everything I needed and left to where the tournament was said to take off. That's where I ran into all these people, nobody really talked to each other so I just kept to myself, but I was pretty happy to see that I wasn't the only one in a mask.

Keiko: No, but you do look stupid... walking around like a cardboard version of the Michelin Man.

An old fashioned boat picked us up from where we were waiting and took us here, to an island that I'd never heard of and we were told by a couple of guards to line up in no particular order and wait for instructions.

Jessie: Stop, stop, stop!
Cassy: Oh, wait... dude, this is ripped from the first film!
Jessie: Right. So why is this supposed to be a Mortal Kombat 9 fic when we have stuff that was from the movie?
Mai: Mix and Match Canon.
Emi: We're probably going to be stuck with a hundred different corner pieces for this fic. On the other hand, that island is incredibly old fashioned.
Amy: I have a different issue. If he's allegedly a chosen warrior, why didn't Raiden speak with him?
Sonic: Because the new thunder god is Akiko. I think she got on the wrong boat, but she took Raiden's hat as a little souvenir.

The two satchels and my backpack I brought with me were left in some type of dining room where we were told dinner would be served after the tournaments introduction, which was definitely taking it's damn time to start up. We must've been standing here for at least a solid fifteen minutes now and nothing's happened.

I just have to be patient now and wait to begin my quest to become the Mortal Kombat champion.

James: Yeah, and I'm waiting to open a five star hotel. It's not happening, and you're not winning, shrimp.
Jessie: *elbows James*
James: What?
Jessie: He's a Stu. He might just win.

3rd Person P.O.V.

Drums began to sound off into the night, keeping a steady rhythm as a small crowd of people dressed in golden and white robes emerged from the left and right coming to a stop on the opposite side of the large stage in front of the fighters. Kyle wondered for a moment where they had come from but quickly forgot about it as several figures emerged from the large house that stood behind a small throne that overlooked the entire area.

One was an old man with long grey hair that reached the middle of his back, and a matching grey beard that stretched down his neck to his chest. He was dressed in a black and red robe, with a large green orb acting as a buckle in the center of it to hold it closed. Black pants and black boots to match. His age is over 500 long years and he stands at 5'11' weighing about 210 pounds. He may look harmless but in reality he is a very powerful sorcerer, holding magnificent ancient power. He is the sorcerer Shang tsung, and he is the leader of this tournament.

Sonic: You sure you didn't crib that off from a Wiki page or something?
Cassy: *as she browses the Mortal Kombat Wikia on her phone* Hmm... I won't be surprised if he did. And if that's true, then we're gonna hit plagiarism territory.
Emi: That won't end well.
Amy: Nope.

Another figure appeared to the left of the old man, Kyle could tell that this one was a male too but he didn't look like an ordinary man to him. His skin was a dark yellow color and he was dressed in white and black combat robe held together with red threads. His age is unknown, but he stands at an alarming 6'5' and weighs a heavy 280 pounds but only appeared as if he weighed 200. The real secret to his heavy weight was concealed in his arms, he has black talons protruding from his forearms and concealed beneath his flesh are two long piercing blades which he conceals for battles. He is Baraka, a Tarkatan soldier who will be partaking in the tournament.

Keiko: Why is this incredibly accurate? Did he bring a scale and measuring tape with him, too?
Mai: I'm beginning to agree with Sonic and Cassy. Those descriptions were probably copied.

Two more figures appeared to the right of the old man and they almost immediately caused Kyle's jaw to drop.

James: That's not the only thing that dropped.
Jessie: Oh, shut up.

The first to emerge was a women standing at 5'9', weighing 128 pounds, she has a round face, brown eyes, thick pink lips and long eyelashes. Her hair is long and black that reaches down past her back, creamy smooth very lightly tanned skin, and she appears as if she is in her early twenties but in reality she is 10,000 years old. The reason she is still alive at this age is because she is not human, she is a creature called an Edenian.

Jessie: Park your horny ass. Number one, you're holding our hands. Number two... how the hell do you know all of this stuff when the tournament and its participants are new to your self-insert? She never told you her name or where she came from.
Amy: *bored* They sure love to talk down to us like we don't know anything, huh?
Jessie: Sadly.
Amy: But to be slightly fair, it's in third person. Only problem is that it's just a bit boring so far.

And if that isn't interesting enough, she is the princess of Outworld and heir to the throne as well. But only several people in the area knew of this, all of the fighters had no knowledge at all of her high status and that they should be bowing before her. But she didn't care that much, she was princess Kitana and she knew that soon…

"They will learn respect…"

Sonic: Well, you're not getting any respect in this fic! Thanks for playing, here's your consolation prize!

She was dressed in cerulean colored bustier which has silver trimmings and a tear-shaped bust, which holds her cleavage together with black crossed strings.

Cassy: *bored* Dude... come on. Get to the plot!
Sonic: I'm surprised that I'm not asleep yet.
Keiko: You're not falling asleep in these bright lights, Hedgehog.

She also wears a thong of similar design which has a long, flowing loincloth at the front with upbraided designs in the center panel that are similar to the subtle designs on her blue mask and bustier. Kitana also has a tiara, silver earrings, thigh high cerulean boots and matching arm gauntlets. And holstered on her back were two steel fans, the blades connected by the blue thread between them were fashioned from solid steel and when closed could be used as daggers, but when open were preferably used for slashing.

James: Can I switch with Axl now?
Amy: You know the rules. You can't do it until you finish the second chapter.
Cassy: Uh-oh.
Mai: What's the matter, Cassy?
Cassy: I just pulled up Kitana's entry from the Mortal Kombat Wikia... *reads* "In MK 2011, she wears a short, cerulean-colored, cropped halter top, which stops and splits above her naval and has silver trimmings and has an opening in the middle, laced together with crossed strings in a way reminiscent of UMK3. She also wears a matching thong of a similar design with a long flowing loincloth at the front, with embroidered designs on the center panel similar to the subtle designs on her mask and bustier. Kitana also has a coronet, thigh-high boots, silver eardrops, and matching arm gauntlets along with a tiara on her head. Her alternate outfit is a blue-and-silver halter top with matching bikini briefs, as well as a loincloth at the back, knee-high boots, and detached sleeves."
Mai: *silent*
James: Shit!
Emi: Plagiarism. Looks like Sonic, Miss Morgan, and Miss James were correct.
Jessie: *sighs* Oh, come on! We just started here!
Sonic: So, uh... it gets the "Epic Failure" tag, huh?
Amy: Yes. Plagiarism is heavily frowned upon in the writing world, whether it is from fanfiction or a published novel. And no, changing the words around will not cover it up, as Cassy just showed us.
Keiko: I now have a much lower opinion of this fic and the author. Sorry... "author".

She has a fierce attitude and a master of the fighting style eagle claw. She is prone to have a stern personality when it comes close to all matters. But she is able to loosen up occasionally and have fun. But most of the time she has to show no emotion really other then determination, mainly to show her father she was a great warrior.

All in all, she was a very attractive, and amazing women.

James: Looks like we know what was copied and what wasn't. That's also not good.

The knowledge of this hardly affected her anyways. In truth, she didn't really care about how appealing she was to others. In fact, she was quite inexperienced when it came to attracting anybody. The only men she knew in her life were Shang tsung, the sorcerer Quan chi, and her father Shao Khan. She at times considered using this tournament to explore a bit into the opposite sex, but whenever she got the chance none of the men interested her. They were always giving her looks that made her feel bile rise up into her throat. Plus she knew that her father would be furious with her if he knew she was on a manhunt. So she did her best to keep her inner desires to herself. She would find a suitor, one day.

Cassy: And let me guess, it'll be the Stu. Come on, this fic isn't creative. We know what's gonna happen, dude.
James: By the way, the real suitor should be Liu Goddamn Kang.
Sonic: Didn't know that that was his middle name. By the way, she wasn't trying to look for a suitor...
Jessie: You know that Stuthors and Suethors have to make their masturbation interests horny and dumb.

The figure to emerge after Kitana also caught the eyes of Kyle, she stood at 5'9', weighing 130 pounds, with her age close to matching her princess at just below 10,000.

Mai: *sighs, continues sketching* Let me know when the copy and paste fest ends.

She dressed in a skin tight green and black outfit that was quite similar to Kitana's. Only hers does not have the same tear shaped bust as Kitana's. It instead hangs open with the straps going over her shoulders with the black crossed strings holding her breasts. The front of her outfit was open all the way down to below her navel in a thin V shape revealing the silky smooth dark tanned skin of her abdomen and a good portion of her breasts. A green cloth hung down between her legs held on to the outfit by a golden ring. Several golden chains also hung loosely off of her outfit, mainly around the curve of her ass, but also cling to the sides of her outfit by her rib cage. Her hair is tide into a low hanging pony tail that reaches down to just below her back, green gauntlets cover her forearms, that have a golden wrist bracelet around them and turn into fingerless black gloves, golden rings also cover her upper arms. Black high heeled boots with a golden line reaching up to the green gems that covered her knees. And beneath that she had a black thong covering her girly parts.

James: Oh, we can definitely tell what was changed. "Her girly parts"? Really, mate?
Keiko: Plagiarists were never smart, Daniels.

She is a confident, self-assured and sassy girl who is sarcastic, patronizing and cocky towards her opponents, and incredibly ruthless towards those she considers a personal enemy. She is immensely loyal to Kitana and a childhood friend of the princess who would do anything to protect her and would be willing to throw her head on the chopping block if it meant it would save Kitana. Also since she has been named Kitana's personal bodyguard, the two are closer than sisters. She is experienced in the fighting style Fan zi, and her two personal favorite weapons are a Bo staff that she uses ancient power to increase in size and or shrink, along with a razor edged boomerang that also with the help of magic will always return to her.

Sonic: Seriously, was that copied, too?
Cassy: It was. I had to dig into the past entries to find this one. *reads* "Always known for her loyalty towards Kitana, she has proven herself to be a dependable, sincere and devoted friend to the princess. She is sarcastic, patronizing and cocky towards her opponents, and incredibly ruthless towards those she considers a personal enemy..."
Emi: *facepalms* What a waste of text. It's one thing to quote certain scenes or catch phrases, but this is just way too blatant.

Her name is Jade and just by glancing at the fighters lined up she knows…

"This will be easy…"

Jessie: This is going to be the most tedious riffing to date. And we all sat through "Kira: The Brown Note Musical"!

Kyle's P.O.V.

Struggling to keep my jaw from hanging off my face, I managed to close my mouth before anyone noticed that I was staring.

Amy: *confused* But... aren't you wearing a hockey mask...?

The old man next to them suddenly then raised his hands as a signal for the drums playing in the distance to stop. And before I knew it, all the monk like people in front of the stage slowly began to sit down. Finally something interesting was happening, that's when I realized that this would be the tournament introduction.

Should I be ready to fight? Or will this just be the rules and safety regulations. I wasn't sure but I wasn't about to drop my guard either.

Cassy: Please let a kunai impale you from the back if you do drop your guard.
Sonic: Pfft!

My concentration was thrown off when I heard the old man begin to speak, "Combatants!

Amy: Agh, where's the "K"? It's supposed to be spelled "Kombatants"! I thought that every "true fan" knew that!

I am Shang Tsung, and in the coming days each of you will fight. Some of you are here of your own volition. Others were brought here by chance." He gestured to several people around, and I couldn't be sure but I thought I saw him glare at me.

Keiko: If looks could kill, we would all be grateful.
Jessie: ...wasn't that a line from the movie...?
Emi: Must've been a lot of hard work to make a fic with CTRL+C and CTRL+V, huh?

Suddenly I heard somebody begin to whisper a few bodies down to my left. "Hey beautiful, Johnny Cage." Even though it was only one sentence, I could just feel the ego coming out of the words, and out of curiosity I had to glance to the side to see what mouth those words came out of.

I could tell he was a Jackass even from this distance.

Mai: Oh, the bleeding irony. This is coming from a smug jackass who thinks that he's the best vigilante since sliced bread. You have no room to talk, scum.
James: *surprised* This is definitely a first coming from you, Mai.
Mai: I don't like having my hypocrisy buttons pressed.

3rd Person P.O.V.

He stood at 6'0', weighing 190 pounds, at the age of 29, and with slicked back brown hair. He was dressed in a blue suit with white dress shoes. A bow tie hung open on his chest probably to display his 'I don't care' attitude. And covering his eyes were black shades, hell if his suit was black and his hair was blonde, this guy would look like captain Albert Wesker.

Johnny Cage is a master at standard karate and has a alarmingly large ego.

Keiko: You're one to talk, aren't you...?
Jessie: Hell, at least Cage got hit with the two words that all shitty characters hate... "Character Development".

Who was only here to display his fighting skills and prove himself to skeptical movie critics and the movie-viewing public, who believed Cage was nothing more than an actor who relied too much on stunts and camera work and not a real proficient fighter. But he figured that he could try to get some ass at the same time.

Cassy: Uh... that wasn't his second motivation, buddy. Also, there's another hypocrite button, since we were told that your self-insert's gonna get some later in the fic. Also, I don't like you or your asshole attitude, dude.

Kyle then noticed that his body was turned to look at someone else in the line, it was a girl and by the look on her face, she was probably really wishing he would die right now.

James: That makes eight of us, only we're not wishing for Cage to kick the bucket.

"Good for you." She said, and that's when Kyle noticed why he was talking to her with his cocky attitude. She was hot.

Emi: *coughhypocritestucough*

She stood at 5'9', weighing 140 pounds.

All: *groaning in frustration*
James: *angry* Not this shit again!
Amy: Can I die now? I want to die now.
Keiko: No. You're not leaving us with this crap.

She's 26 years old with blond hair tied into a pony tail that reached the middle of her back, deep blue eyes, and was dressed in a black leather zip up tank top that stopped above her belly button which was unzipped almost all the way to reveal a very good portion of her cleavage. Silver dog tags hung from her neck as she was a special forces member in the military. Black combat pants held up by a black leather belt hugged her legs tightly, black knee pads, and black laced thigh high combat boots. Black fingerless leather gloves, and black leather straps hugging her upper arms to show that she had some muscle. She is an experienced fighter in Tae Kwon Do, and has a name that matches her personality. Sonya Blade.

Sonic: Why, yes, that paragraph was probably copied, too!
Amy: *bored* You know, what's the point of this fic when the only things that we've read so far were poorly done and drawn out descriptions followed by stuff that was blatantly stolen? This isn't a fic! This isn't even an introduction! I don't even know what this is!
Jessie: It's bullshit, that's what it is.

She is a beautiful, stern, tough-as-nails lieutenant. Who was here for one reason only, and it did not involve being hit on.

Cassy: That's true, because she brushed him off by herself. She didn't need some tacky Gary Stu to do the work for her.
Emi: Great. That's just going to diminish the lieutenant's character. What is it with Stus putting women in the metaphorical kitchen?
Mai: It's their strongest and worst trait.

Kyle's P.O.V.

Although it was obvious this women wasn't interested,

Amy: No, no, no, it's this woman. Singular. One. Thank you.

that didn't seem to stop this Johnny Cage's pursuit for sex.

Sonic: You're projecting harder than an IMAX theater, buddy. I'm starting to think you don't like Cage. And I'm starting to think that we're getting into some character bashing in a minute...

"What, 'Massive strike'? 'Citizen Cage'? 'Ninja Mime'? None of those ring a bell?" He asked her, confusion in his voice.

Mai: I hated "Ninja Mime"...
Keiko: I'm almost positive that every ninja despises that film.

Now that he mentioned those names I actually realized who this guy was. He was rumored to be a major martial artist who never needed a stunt man or CGI because he was experienced with martial arts enough. He was supposed to be really famous, but I really didn't care for him. Who could blame me though?

James: You can shove your hockey mask up your arse, because I don't care for you, either.
Jessie: *snickers*

After being forced to sit through that crappy 'Time Smashers' movie by my friend Joe, I didn't have any liking for that man.

Cassy: Over one film? Dude, you're way too easy to piss off. Not a good trait if you want the ladies, just saying.

"Kano…" The women suddenly said glaring at something else in the distance. Normally I would've looked but if I did I would have to move my head, and that would've probably shown that I was staring.

Jessie: Yeah, moving your goddamn eyeballs takes too much effort.

"Kano? Wasn't in that one." Johnny said assuming that she was talking about him.

Sonic: Enjoy the unintentional humor. It's all we're gonna have before the Stu smashes him like a grape.
Emi: *flatly* Yay.

Suddenly Shang tsung started to speak again.

"You participate in the most important Mortal Kombat in history! This tournament, the tenth out of nine Outworld victories, will determine Earthrealm's fate. If you defeat all of your opponents, you will face one final challenge…me." He spoke.

Jessie: Copied quote!
Amy: Wow, this fic really isn't original.
James: And this is from a series that uses their catch phrases constantly! How the hell do you wear that out?!
Amy: I don't know, but it gets worse; that quote is from Mortal Kombat 9's story mode... which the Stuthor said that he wasn't going to use.
Mai: Let's just admit that he doesn't know what he was doing so we can get on with our lives.

I had a feeling that he was gonna say something like that. There was probably a few solid years of martial arts training hiding behind that old age he was sporting. And what was he talking about?

Keiko: Your impending death?
Cassy: *crosses her fingers* Please, please, please, please, please....

Earthrealm? If I recalled correctly it was referred as earth alone, not Earthrealm. Also wasn't this just a tournament of regular fighting? We weren't actually determining earths fate right? It had to be just stage stuff to make the atmosphere seem more real.

Amy: If those were Cage's thoughts from the film, I'm gonna throw a bus at the screen.
Sonic: Don't do that, Ames. Ask my sister, she'll be glad to help you.

And what the hell was Outworld?

Emi: Hopefully, your final resting place.
Jessie: Too good for him. Toss him into the Nexus.

Suddenly that familiar jackass voice started talking again,

James: Oh, fuck off, you rancid troglodyte.
Emi: Oh, you really hate him, Mr. Daniels.
James: That was one of my nicer insults.
Mai: He's not lying, Emi.

"That old geezers the final challenge?" He quite literally said out loud. And I noticed a few extra head's turning over to look at him. "They might as well give me the belt right now. They…they do have belts right?" He continued to talk at the women who looked as if she was getting more and more aggravated.

Jessie: Can we please just follow the fic from Cage's perspective instead? It would be much less painful.

Finally she said, "Look, I'm not interested okay?" She told him trying to end his attempted conversation with her.

But he was persistent, "Oh come on beauty, I just wanna take you out to dinner." He said to which I had enough.

Sonic: Oh, here we go. Our first encounter with the Gary Stu who does too much.

If there's anything that pisses me off more than crime itself. It's a flirting jackass.

Cassy: Please eat cat shit and die, you human cockroach.
Keiko: I forgot that the Black Crow members have the lowest tolerance for Sues and Stus...

"Leave her alone." I said in my dark voice to disguise myself even though I didn't know anyone here, and stepping to the side a little so they could get a clear look of me.

Amy: *as she dramatically waves her hands around* Ooh, watch the heck out, we have a badass over here!
Mai: *flatly* I'm shaking.

He almost instantly looked over at me and tried to size me up, "I'm sorry what was that?" He asked cocking his head to the side.

"I said leave her alone, want me to say it slower?" I asked hoping to strike a nerve, and even though I knew I was interrupting the tournament introduction I wasn't about to let this guy getting away with being an asshole.

James: Even though you're being one right now.
Emi: It's only okay if you're a Gary Stu.
James: Maybe I should stuff my grenade set in his armor. He should have fun trying to take it all off before he explodes in five minutes.
Jessie: Step it up, James. Stryker blows everyone up in three seconds.
James: Well, excuse me for wanting them to squirm first!

A smug smirk pulled up on his face and he chuckled quietly, "Wow, nice try kid. But the masked wonder trying to save the damsel in distress bit doesn't work to well when she doesn't need to be saved. So how about you just take a couple steps backward now okay kid?" He tried to sound mature by insulting my uniform and acting like I was the one who was being childish.

Amy: But... you are being childish.
Sonic: Look, this has been a really bad first chapter. And we're already looking at a familiar flaw.
Amy: What, the character that is "wrong" in this fic is actually correct?
Sonic: Exactly, Ames.
Amy: Happens every single time.

I gritted my teeth and was about to respond but suddenly the girl did for me,

Emi: She's a woman, you patronizing little cretin.
Mai: I forgot that Gary Stus also had that disgusting habit of calling women "girls".

"Actually I prefer masked wonder's opinion." She said crossing her arms and glaring at Cage, who looked shocked.

Jessie: Please, she would've waved the Stu off, too!
James: And then she would've told Cage off. That's what should've happened, but no... we had to do this shit.

"What? Are you kidding beauty, come on he's just-" He started but was cut off.

"Just back off." She told him loudly thrusting her hand forward and pushing him away slightly, and I'm pretty sure everyone in the area now was staring at us.

Cassy: Oh, look, you made a scene when you didn't want to. *sarcastically gives a thumbs up* Nice work, dumbass.

Suddenly the raspy voice of the Shang Tsung was right next to us, "Yes Johnny Cage, back off." He said to which both me, Cage, and Sonya jumped.

"What the? How did you…" Cage started but couldn't seem to get the words out. I was equally surprised, I didn't even hear him approach us.

Jessie: There's a thing called "teleportation". Let me explain what that is.
Sonic: No!

"And you…" He started turning towards me, his gaze set me a little on edge. Now I wasn't sure if he had contacts on or not but his eyes looked really pale. Hopefully it was just the distance between us and the light, but

James: *annoyed* Why won't you shut the fuck up for two seconds?!
Mai: Hmm. You're really angry today. Perhaps... some tea would suffice?
James: Is it hot? Can I toss it into his face?
Mai: Yes to the first question, and no to the second. Besides, we have warheads for that.

regardless he continued, "Standing up for a fellow Earthrealm warrior, and standing against another…hmmm interesting." He said before turning away and walking back up the steps.

Keiko: That didn't warrant special treatment. That was blatant character shilling.
Sonic: Fic's not even trying to hide anything, huh?

What did he mean by that? And what was up with that Earthrealm crap again?

Amy: It's a realm... that represents Earth...? Just saying.

But before any of my questions could be answered he started to speak again, "Ladies and gentlemen…as of right now…the Mortal Kombat tournament has begun…"

Emi: And then Sub-Zero froze him and kicked his head off.
Jessie: That's not happening, but thanks for trying.

A.N. Wanted it to be longer but all wellz.

Sonic: I think the descriptions that you stole padded it out enough, buddy.

Since this is the first chapter It's a little slow

Cassy: It's "a little slow"? Dude, it moved like an iceberg! You're supposed to establish the basics and make us like your character a bit!
Amy: Instead, we got a boring intro and a guy who really needs to bite the dust within the next three chapters.

but it will pick up in the next one with more length,

Emi: And God was dead.

some more character interaction and a battle, possibly two depends on how lazy I am.

Sonic: Yeah, that copy and paste can sure take a lot outta you. Whoo, it's hard work!

And everyone wanting for me to update my other fanfic The Last Survivor, I can only say patience is a virtue.

Jessie: Gotta figure out what needs to be ripped off first.

Review and Scorpion (for the girls) will be sitting on your bed saying get over here, and (for the guys) will be stabbing your evil ex with his kunai yelling GET OVER HERE!

James: So all guys have evil ex-girlfriends? Also... do you have a thing for "putting women in their places" like Benji does? I swear, Stuthors really need to sort out their baggage.

Next Chapter: Round one

Keiko: I'm not looking forward to this.
Amy: Who can blame you? It's only the first chapter. I think we now know how the others felt when they read the first chapter of "Outcast Saga".
Cassy: Oh, god, this is Benji in Mortal Kombat, isn't it?
Mai: I believe that we have already established that fact.
Jessie: Copy and Paste Stu. Just change the name and keep every horrible personality trait.

--

Continue to Part Two
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