SNK vs. Capcom: Trash TV (Crossover)

~Episode One, Segment One~

Audience: TERRY! TERRY! TERRY!

Terry: Hello, everyone! Since Jerry Springer has retired from his post, he has decided to carry the legacy of Trash TV to me... and I don't know why. I guess it has something to do with my name. But anyway, my brother Andy and my girlfriend Mary are the directors of security here, so say hello to them!

Audience: HI! HI! HI! HI!

Andy: Hey.

Mary: Are you ready?

Audience: YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!

Terry: And say hello to the producer and the person who masters the sound system and effects, Mai Shiranui!

Audience: WHOO! TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF!

Mai: Jeez, you perverted lonely men! Only Andy can see these!

Andy: Oh, man...

Audience: YOU'RE NO FUN! YOU'RE NO FUN!

Mai: Don't you guys get enough fun when you go to those strip clubs every night?

Terry: Well, anyway... and meet my very, very unlucky friend who tells you guys what to chant and guys hit on him in the process, Joe Higashi!

Joe: Oshaa! Hey, where are my cheers?

Audience member: Oh, that's right.

Audience: JOE! JOE! JOE! JOE!

Joe: Thanks!

Terry: Now that you've met my pals, we can start this show! Alright, my very first guest has to confess a secret to his girlfriend. Please meet... (looks at card) Hey, this card still has Jerry Springer's name on it!

Mai: They didn't get your last name yet, Terry.

Terry: Jeez! I told them over lunch! It's freaking Bogard! Anyway, please meet... Kyo Kusanagi!

Kyo: (walks onto the set and sits in a seat) What's up, Terry?

Terry: Hey. So, you have to confess a secret to your girlfriend...

Kyo: Yeah.

Terry: What's the secret?

Kyo: Well... I've been cheating on her... with her closest friend.

Audience: OOH!

Terry: Well, I don't think that she'll take the news lightly... okay, let's bring out your girlfriend, Yuki!

Yuki: (walks onto the set and sits in a seat next to Kyo)

Terry: Now Yuki, do you know why you're here?

Yuki: Well, no. This is Springer, nothing good happens here.

Terry: Jeez! It's Bogard! BOGARD!

Yuki: Then why does your card has Jerry Springer's name on it?

Terry: Those lazy bastards didn't replace his name with mine. Anyway, face Kyo, he has something to tell you.

Yuki: (now holding Kyo's hand) What is it, sweetie?

Kyo: Well, I've been cheating on you...

Yuki: What? With whom?

Terry: All right, let's bring out Kyo's secret lover!

Athena: (comes out onto the set) Hi, Kyo-chan...

Terry: Yuki, did you know anything about this?

Yuki: No, not at all... (now begins to cry)

Athena: Yuki, I'm so sorry...

Terry: Hey, Kyo! Don't you have another secret lover?

Kyo: Well... yeah.

Audience: OOH!

Terry: Come on out!

Emi: (comes out onto the set): What the...? Master Kyo! I thought I was the one for you!

Kyo: Well, I guess not...

Emi: You bitch! (is now dead set on performing an Orochi Nagi on him)

Terry: Well, obviously, Emi isn't too happy about this, but you have another secret lover, right?

Kyo: Yes.

Terry: Dude, you need to lay off the Viagra! Come on out!

Shingo: (runs out to the set and glomps Kyo) He's mine!

Emi: Ugh.

Mai: Yeah, you're telling me.

Terry: Good god, you've been sleeping with FOUR people?!

Kyo: Yeah.

Terry: And here comes another one!

Benimaru: (walks onto the set and shoves Shingo off of Kyo) Get a life. (pulls Kyo into a loving kiss)

Joe: Um, this is a little too crazy for my taste.

Andy: You're telling me. Come on Mary, we gotta get on the set now.

Mary: Why?

Andy: Prepare yourself for... that last one.

Terry: Okay, here's Kyo's final secret lover... right? Will there be more?

Kyo: Well... for now, that's all I have.

Terry: (sighs) Come on out!

Iori: SHI-NE! (tries to tear through Andy and Mary to get to Kyo)

Andy: Shit! You see why I needed you for this?

Mary: Yeah. Jeez, where are the drugs when you need them?

Iori: Drugs do not wear me out! I'm invincible! I'm Yagami! (tosses Andy and Mary aside)

Terry: Um... I think we're going to go to a break now. We'll be right back... if Iori doesn't kill Joe, Mai, and me.