Signs you've been playing too much Neo Geo

You've been playing too much Neo Geo if...

1.You think any game under 200 megs is too small.

2.You're walking down the street and someone taunts you, so you immediately punch the air and hold out your fist in attempt to regain your spirit meter.

3.You think Nintendo 64 cartridges are inexpensive.

4.You no longer have 3-dimensional vision.

5.You refer to frisbees as "flying power discs".

6.You go to a Tekken 2 machine in an arcade and look for a slot to insert your PlayStation memory card.

7.When you get angry your skin turns red and flashes.

8.Your shadow flashes.

9.You wonder why cartridges for other systems don't rattle when you shake them.

10.You put an imported Saturn game in your domestic Saturn system without a converter and expect it to work.

11.You listen to the music tracks from a game CD for a different system and anticipate at least 8 seconds of space at the end of each track.

12.You think there's a world of difference between Puzzle Bobble and Puzzle De Pon.

13.You always press select when you want to pause other game systems.

14.You wonder why there is no file user's name on the Saturn.

15.You talk like the humorous English dialogue on Samurai Shodown II.

16.You name your dog "Poppy" and your bird "Mamahaha".

17.You search for railroad tracks in front of Mt. Rushmore.

18.You cut yourself severely, blood is everywhere, and you think, "Oh well, that's only 1/3 of my life meter."

19.You think your blood is white because you haven't installed a language switch on yourself.

20.You think Duck King is cool.

21.You feel ripped off when you buy a unilingual game.

22.You know all of the dialogue from Samurai III by heart in English, Japanese, Spanish, and Portugese.

23.You force your stylist to give you Duck King's hairdo after she warns you that it is way out of style.

24.You live your life by Kim Kap Hwan's philosophy: being a friend to all children and fighting for truth, justice, and the Korean way.

25.You print out the paper dolls on Neo-Alec's page and enjoy trying different styles on Kyo Kusanagi and Athena Asamiya.

26.You carve a Neo Geo jack-o-lantern for Halloween.

27.You roll your Neo Geo jack-o-lantern down a hill to simulate the rolling Neo Geo logo loading screen.

28.You see the Super NES version of Fatal Fury and die of shock.

29.You're the only one in your hick town that owns one!

30.You frequently dream that you go to Neo Geo Land and befriend all of your favorite characters.

31.You tell someone, "I didn't do good at my grammar test."

32.Your hand seems to be stuck to your joystick.

33.You refer to the time when you are not playing Neo Geo as "school" or "work".

34.You give everyone you know a nickname from a Neo Geo game.

35.You only use four buttons.

36.You always put your quarter in the side that you're going to play.

37.In fighting games, you try to run, dodge, roll, etc.

38.You wait to see the on screen instructions of how to play on a new game.

39.You check how many credits you have above your controls.

40.On the CD system, you automatically press ABC + Start/Select to reset the game instead of going to the machine to push the reset button.

41.When shopping for carts, and see one for less than $100, you think it's cheap.

42.You complain if your joystick doesn't make clicking noises when you move it.

43.You check to see how many megs the game is before buying it.

44.You check to make sure there's blood in the game and if not, try your hardest to find the code for it.

45.You get up on a soap box, and lecture about arcade playing at the slightest mention of the word 'turtle'.

46.Your favorite sarcastic come-back is "Yeah... and SSRPG hits the shelves tomorrow."

47.You look at the scaling in SF3, and say "the Neo Geo's been doing that for years!"

48.You turn your nose up at 3-D fighters.

49.You think "Those Crazy Sakazaki's" would make a good sitcom.

50.You don't believe anything SNK of America tells you.

51.You've gotten used to SS3 Rimururu's voice.

52.You call Games to Go and engage in a two hour discussion about the difference between Neo Geo cartridges and CDs.

53.You've figured out some real use for the file user's name!

54.For your English class you write an essay that compares and contrasts SNK and ADK.

55.You are one of the few people who leaves messages in the "Neo Geo Music Discussion" at Game Music Online.

56.Someone touched your Neo Geo system without permission and now that person's in the hospital.

57.You call the four buttons on the SNES and PlayStation controllers by their Neo Geo control pad names.

58.You think PC-Engine music is bad.

59.You loathe Capcom.

60.You have a memory card to use in the arcade, but no Neo Geo cartridge system.

61.You eat noodles just like Cheng Sinzan.

62.You think that you can make yourself light up and create fireballs with your hands.

63.You make certain that you are always followed by a monkey, a duck, a dog, a wolf, and a bird. (You think you're the best fighter in town!)

64.You think that all Americans act just like Heavy D!, Lucky Glauber, and Brian Battler.

65.You prefer the cartridge music over the CD sound. (I know that many actually do.)

66.You are known to use phrases such as "This car uses gas faster than I can use the spirit meter in Art of Fighting!"

67.You can fight and win using any team in The King of Fighters '96.

68.You are known to draw large crowds around the MVS system at your local arcade.

69.You refer to yourself as "Neo-(your name here)".

70.Everything on this list offends you.

71.You knock your worst enemy off the top of a tall building and expect him to return in several sequels.

72.You can tell a Haoh Sho Koh Ken from a Hoah Shi Koh Ken by sight alone.

73.You are eating steak, and then you remember how bad Zankuro beat you last time. You then go into a rage and start to cut the steak like a madman, getting on the table, and finally, all you managed after 5 minutes of teeting and toting is your family's table all wrecked up and you're just a mess. Your mother orders you to go to your room.

74.You go to your room and it's dark. Then you think you hear Geese from out of your room. You hide behind the door and wait. You grab your basketball and then when the person enters you throw the ball in a sort of Terry Power Wave. You hit the guy in the nose but you realize it's your dad. Then he throws you out of the house, and you swear vengeance.

75.You wish every game had four buttons, and you REALLY like the idea of holding a button down for a stronger attack.

76.You wait around a 50 cent MVS cabinet all day for someone to play so you can do the 25 cent continue-to-new-game trick.

77.The controller only moves in two directions, only 2 out of 4 buttons work, and you can still beat any scrub at King of Fighters '95.

78.You look at the header on the Elevator Action 2 cabinet and expect to see something new there someday.

79.While you're daydreaming at school, you look down and see that you have subliminally drawn the Neo happyface on your trig notes.

80.You go into fits every time the name "Choi Bounge" is mentioned.

81.When playing Street Fighter Alpha, you constantly press the fierce buttons in hopes of a CD attack.

82.You mumble winning quotes in your sleep: "zzzzzzif'I'were'U'Idroleoverandpretendzztobedeadzzzzzzz".

83.You can't play any other fighting games because the gameplay seems alien to you.

84.You start ripping out your hair cursing the Iori,Chin,and Clark teams to hell.

85.The showing of Joe's butt doesn't irritate you anymore.

86.You don't mind Joe's multipunch attack.

87.You can actually CD counter rush consistently.

88.You think the KOF Geese is the best version.

89.You accept that "Geese" is a perfectly normal first name.

90.You feel genuine sympathy for Terry Bogard.

91.You feel genuine jealousy of Andy Bogard.

92.To you, the term "jumping CD" is not immediately evocative of a faulty audio device.

93.Someone says to you "Kim RBFF CD BGM" and you know what they're talking about.

94.You think of the word "scrub" as a noun.

95.You think of the word "turtle" as a verb.

96.You refer to yourself on-line as an SNK character.

97.You refer to yourself off-line as an SNK character.

98.You dream that you're on the most chaotic e-mailing list in history.......oh, yeah, I forgot....

99.Your e-mail box gets flooded with 100s of messages about nothing, yet you still stay on the Neo Geo Mailing List.

100.You visit an actual South Town and are disappointed when nobody can show you the way to a Pao Pao Cafe or Sound Beach.

101.You see it as perfectly feasible that the human body can withstand multiple heavy blows with a blade and continue to fight.

102.You are convinced that no REAL girl could ever be as hot as Mai. (which I guess is literally true...)

103.Spelling errors don't bother you in the slightest.

104.You despise people who think that Mortal Kombat and Killer Instinct characters are cool.

105.At your graduation ceremony (high school/college) you toss your hat up in the air and exclaim "OKAY!"

106.If told "Choose your weapon" in a fight you are just as likely to take a bamboo umbrella or a big frigging stone pillar as you would an authentic katana.

107.When contemplating a new hairstyle for yourself you look through the King of Fighters '96 manual.-OR-You pick up a Samurai Shodown manual and decide to just let it grow.

108.After a year in martial arts training you seriously consider developing a "Super Special Attack".

109.Your friends are always telling you "Turn off that Samurai Shodown soundtrack and let's listen to some real music!"

110.You are far too preoccupied with playing Neo games to worry about finding friends in the first place.

111.You claim to have spent over 200 hours of your life watching the juggling monkey.

112.You can walk down the streets of New York armed with nothing more than a paper fan and a bottle of sake and think you're safe.

113.You throw an apple at one of your enemies, grab the nearest available item (i.e. a lunch tray or chair), hit them multiple times with it, and then cough like you're majorly sick or something when you're done.

114.You are easily able to install the language switch on a Neo Geo unit.

115.All you have is EVERY SINGLE Neo Geo game to utilize the mulit-link option! Wait a minute... so I guess your collection is not of an extensive nature.

116.You go to the extent of setting up a web page which is solely dedicated to informing people about Neo Geo.

117.You are not compensated for setting up and updating such a page.

118.You own more than one copy of a particular Neo Geo title. (These people do exist.)

119.You're seriously considering wearing Iori's outfit.

120.You ramble Japanese phrases at inconvient times.

121.You think that Street Fighter Alpha and its sequel are more like interactive slide shows rather than animated games.

122.Even when playing at the arcade, you sing for Athena in KOF 96 on the China team stage.

123.You slap your friend whenever he tells you that Hyper Neo Geo 64 is a new Nintendo 64 game.

124.You purposely pronounce "Nee-O-Gee-O" as "Neh-O-Jee-O" because you know that it was meant to be that way.

125.Every time the Neo Geo title comes on the screen you say outloud "Neo Geo... Max 330 ProGear by SNK".

126.You sing songs using only the words "Neo Geo". Like YMCA...

127.You visit the Neo Geo website everyday even though you know they never update it.

128.Because of your bloody life, it was no coincidence you were involved in the troubles.

129.If the joystick is larger than the console, then it might possibly be too big for you.

130.You try to wipe the spit from the plastic screen gaurd of the local MVS.

131.You buy a $60 game for $70 hoping that more money will be passed on to SNK.

132.You wonder why the PlayStation is called a Next-Generation system, yet the Neo Geo CD isn't, even though every Neo Geo translation for PSX loses half the animation and has a strange color pallete.

133.You get Samurai Shodown action figures and beat up Mario and Sonic with them.

134.You wonder why the title is Samurai Shodown instead of Samurai Showdown.

135.You think that it would hurt to get tossed up against the edge of the screen.

136.You look like Kyo Kusanagi! (I'm sure a lot of us wouldn't mind this at all.)

137.You've nearly gone deaf just from listening to Neo Geo music.

138.Someone ticks you off and you tell them, "My rage gauge is THIS close to its max."

139.You create a Neo Geo altar, a sacred place (well, to you anyway) in a part of your house where you hang the King of Fighters wall scrolls and do your worshipping every day of the week.

140.Your bedroom walls are covered with posters from Neo Geo Freak.

141.You hide a stash of Neo GeoFreak (not porn) magazines under your bed.

142.You actually eat a bao and clean your hands by slapping them together.

143.You buy the KOF costume, plus gloves.

144.You expect your girl friend to look fabulous in a Mai or Nakoruru costume.

145.Instead of saying "Save the Eath" in the GreenPeace Movement, you E-mail them to persuade them to change their slogan to one of the following: I. daishizen no shioki desu; II. Savor nature's fearful wrath; III. You anger mighty nature!!!

146.You try your hardest to flap a piece of cloth in the vain hope that you MIGHT just execute a Kamui Ryuse.

147.You dream of joining KOF 98 and meeting Mai.

148.You find yourself saying: "shini na sai!" when you are throwing water bombs at your friends.

149.You try to get a "GEESE" number-plate, as seen in the intro of Fatal Fury 3, for your car.

150.You spend millions of dollars a month on hair gel, trying to get your hair to stand up like Benimaru's. After accomplishing this feat, however, you find that your hair now wheighs 85kg. You ignore this fact and nearly break your neck attempting Benimaru's Lightning Kick in your backyard. You spend a month in the hospital and need to have your hair surgically removed (the hair gel melded with your scalp).

151.You see a cloud in the sky that looks like the Neo Geo smiley face logo. But this logo isn't smiling at all, instead it looks very uspet. You run around town raving, "The Neo Geo gods are angry!"

152.You wonder why the girls you know don't have cool names like Athena, Yuri, and Mai.

153.You can taunt in Japanese without taking a single lesson in Japanese language.

154.You brag that the Neo Geo was out when 16-bit systems were hot, saying that the system used to cost $600 and games still cost more than $200.

155.You've made icons of Neo Geo and SNK logos for your computer desktop or changed your hard drive icon to look like the Neo Geo.

156.You apply to work at SNK US Technology.

157.Somebody mentions the loading time on SSRPG and you reply, "What loading time?"

158.Even though you have a home system, you insist on going to the local arcade. And when you play there, you see a world of difference.

159.You already convinced a bunch of people to buy a Neo Geo instead of a Genesis, Super NES, Saturn, PlayStation, or N64. (You had to threaten them with death.)

160.You count your combo's when performing daily activities. "Wow! I just got a 23 hit combo doing the dishes!"

161.You've been diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome.

162.You're actually starting to like those Psycho Soldier theme song remixes.

163.Your controller had to be surgically removed from your hand.

164.You and your friends play Samurai Shodown 4 in the Portugeuse setting and yell "Ponto!!" very loudly when someone wins a match.

165.You are constantly plotting to break into a local theater and hook up your Neo Geo to the commercial-grade projector. But you never do it, though. You imagine the whole theater filling with these sounds: "Vooom! Yearghh!..... Yagyu Jubei!"

166.When you and your dog play fetch in the park, you always find yourself pointing and saying "GO, POPPY!!"

167.You light your parakeet on fire and expect it to attack whatever you point at.

168.You've never been able to understand Virtua Figher or Tekken enough to win a round, but the first time you played Samurai Shodown 64, you beat it!

169.You go to Japan to attend kabuki theater, and are disappointed when nobody breathes fire like Kyoshiro.

170.You bought a Neo Geo system for $650... last week!

171.You wish you could be a background character in a Neo Geo fighting game. (Hey, SNK should have a contest for that...)

172.You eat eight meals every day in hopes of becoming a giant like Earthquake.

173.You know that Galford and Hanzo are long-lost brothers.

174.You resent the fact that R-Type is such a blatant Pulstar rip-off.

175.You know that any one SNK character could beat all 40+ Street Fighters with one hand tied behind his/her back.

176.You can play all the music from Samurai Shodown IV on the piano.

177.You think that Capcom will crack and make a Neo Geo game any day now.

178.You wish they'd make Dragon's Lair for Neo Geo CD using pre-loaded full-motion video similar to that seen in Pulstar.

179.You wake up holding your joystick and realize that you've been winning Neo Geo games in your sleep again.

180.You only read books during the loading times on Neo Geo CD, and you've read an entire encyclopedia!

181.You've really been playing too much Neo Geo if you've read an encyclopedia during the loading times on a cartridge system!

182.Your initials are burned into the screens of all the MVS systems within a 50 mile radius of your house.

183.Your eyes are blue, but you know samurai moves.

184.You despise anime based on Neo Geo games because the games look so much better.

185.You've hooked up your Neo Geo to a Clapper!

186.You swear that you've seen the MVS version of Samurai Spirits RPG.

187.You want to know where Duck King shops so that you can wear purple Hammer pants like his.

188.You send hate mail to Takara every week.

189.You are certain that Raiden will sue Big Bear for stealing his theme music.

190.You think that Neo-Alec is related to Neo-Geegus and Neo-Dio.

191.Your older brother and his friend remind you of Chang and Choi.

192.Since you look like Kyo and your brother thinks he's Iori he constantly tries to kill you while yelling "Asobi wa...owari da! Nake, sakebe, soshite...."

193.You think Brocken from World Heroes was always more original than M. Bison from Street Fighter II.

194.Every time you turn on Cyber-Lip, you say "What did that crazy federal government do this time?"

195.Whenever you get an apple, you find yourself throwing it in the air and slicing it repeatedly.

196.You always listen to your Neo Geo cartridge system using the headphone jack on the front of it. But you always turn the volume up as loud as possible! Whenever you listen to anything else you yell, "TURN IT UP! TURN IT UP!!!"

197.You get really ticked off when you discover that some fool has jammed the memory card slot on the local MVS full of assorted coins, thus making it impossible for you to insert your card.

198.You actually know what SNK stands for.

199.You get kicked out of a Capcom chat room.

200.You've read every one of these signs up to number 200. If you're entertained, we can assume you're a neo freak.

201.You have no shame to say that you own the same game in 2 formats (CD and cartridge).

202.You know how many megs are in each game you own.

203.You would find it fair if for each megabit in a cartridge it cost $1.

204.The question of your life: Is Amakusa gay???

205.You can take a break while the CD loads, and you know the exact time to return before the game resumes!

206.You are sad because your Neo Geo CD backup memory is completely full and you cannot use a memory card.

207.You wonder if there will be no more World Heroes or Art of Fighting games.

208.These two words are all that it takes to drive you insane: NOW LOADING.

209.You actually killed someone with one hit in Samurai Shodown.

210.You gave your N64 in exchange for a new Neo Geo game, and you still think you got the better end of the deal. (And you're right!)

211.You're searching for Neo Geo Pocket long before its release date.

212.You make the slogan "Bigger, Badder, Better" the motto by which you live your life.

213.You build up a super bar in Street Fighter and try to win the match with three hits.

214.Every time you fight you eat a meatbun and choke on it.

215.You tell people to stand still so you can see their standing animation.

216.You win the lottery and use the money to make an SSRPG cartridge with NO loading time.

217.Whenever you get in a fight, you expect your surroundings to morph as soon as you and your opponent are almost KOed.

218.You're one of those people who has constructed their own S-Video cable for the Neo Geo cartridge system.

219.You can install a language switch on a Neo Geo CD player while blindfolded and with one hand tied behind your back!

220.An extra memory card wouldn't hurt. Then you'd have enough space to save one file from each of your games.

221.You think being crushed by an MVS machine would be a good way to go.

222.You know of twelve different possible hand positions for the joysticks. They all have specific purposes, and you've named them all.

223.Your parents tell you to stop playing your Neo Geo, and you reply with, "Okay, as soon as I die again," knowing this could take up to 36 hours.

224.Once you almost started a fire in your home while trying to perform Kyo's MAX attack.

225.You know the stories of The King of Fighters 94, 95, 96, 97, AND 98 by heart.

226.Your dad sells his car to pay the electric bill.

227.You hired the best local detectives to find out if Geese Howard is really dead.

228.You were happy to learn that the Hyper Neo Geo 64 uses only four buttons.

229.You knocked the guy who told you that King was a lesbian.

230.You think King is a perfectly normal name for a woman.

231.You traded your collection of Playboys for a collection of Neo Geo Freaks. And you have no regrets!

232.You already have a list of secret possible team endings for KOF '98 months before its release!

233.You see Michael Jordan on TV, and throw the TV out the window thinking he's Lucky Glauber.

234.You repeatedly whack your head against a 24kg bowling ball, hoping to make yourself more powerful.

235.You wrote a term paper explaining why it's possible that Galford and Hanzo could be related, and actually found historical facts to back it up.

236.You fear the day your girlfriend will be called to be sacrificed in order to open some seal.

237.You own a copy of all the versions of "Psycho Soldier", and you play them in your car stereo.

238.The NOW LOADING monkey is your best friend.

239.You own the Japanese AND English versions of EVERY Neo Geo game.

240.You quote the ending for every Neo Geo character in every game.

241.As a result of playing too many shooters, all that remains of the A button on your Neo Geo joystick is a smoldering crater.

242.You feel that people aren't enlightened enough so you create the Church of Neo Geo.

243.You can quote the Japanese names for the special moves in EVERY game!

244.You light your hand with rubbing alcohol and yell "BURN KNUCKLE!"

245.You own a Neo cart, an MVS, a CDZ, a single-speed CD, AND a front loading model!

246.You've tried to buy used Neo Geos in bulk.

247.You'd pay extra money to have the Neo logo as contact lenses.

248.You read "Signs you've been playing too much Neo Geo" every day too see if Neo-Alec has updated it.

249.You submit signs every time you visit.

250.You have different TV's for different systems."My Neo Geo is on the good TV, everything else is on the bad one."

251.You know the names of all the voice talents who have performed for SNK games.

252.You play your Neo Geo games on a 9 inch back and white TV, but you can brag about owning every Geo game for both cartridge and CD formats.

253.You have a Neo Geo game system... for every room in your house.

254.You wonder why people make a big deal about the President's sex life when Ryuji Yamazaki hasn't even gone to jail yet.

255.You have a special way of greeting people you:
a.Are dating.
b.Have sworn to kill.
c.Have gotten your @$$ thoroughly kicked by.
d.Think are evil.
e.Consider friends/teammates.
f.Have trained and went through hell with.
g.Consider to be a threat to the Earth.
h.Share the same territorial dialect with.

256.When your joystick broke, you had a funeral for it and buried it outside.

257.You seriously try to figure out Robert Garcia's native tongue: English or Japanese?

258.You play Samurai Showdown or KOF on PlayStation and feel like you're playing Atari.

259.You see a guy with long blonde hair, so you tell him, "Show me the Power Geyser!"

260.You take a decorative Chinese fan off the wall in your house and think it can stop sword thrusts, bullets, etc.

261.You look forward to dying and think when you get to heaven God will grant you power to use fireballs, flaming birds, and teleportation attacks.

262.In the middle of getting your butt whipped in real life, you pick up food off the ground and eat it.

263.In the middle of a fight you smoke a pipe, inhale, and hope you'll blow out smoke that forms into a demon to take care of your opponent.

264.You think that anyone who won't spend $270 on one game is cheap.

265.If you sold all your Neo Geo cartridges you'd have enough money to buy a new car.
...but you would never trade your games for a car, even if it meant walking. Let's face it, you've got your priorities!

266.You consider staying at home and cleaning the contacts of your Neo Geo cartridge collection a good way to spend the weekend.

267.In your will you say that your Neo Geo is to be buried with you.

268.In divorce court you hire a lawyer to insure you get to keep the Neo Geo.

269.You replace the drive motor in your Neo Geo CD with the one in your high speed electric drill and no longer is there load time in Samurai Spirits RPG.

270.You hang around your arcade just to make sure no one puts gum in the memory card slot of the MVS machine.

271.You wonder why the tanks in war movies can't jump over things like the Slug.

272.You are wanted for stalking Takara executives.

273.You can do every desperation move in Fatal Fury Special, but you have trouble doing a throw in Virtua Fighter.

274.You believe the best producer/director for a KOF movie would be yourself.

275.You've counted how many hits Ryo gives his opponent in his super death move.

276.You call the local radio station and request music from the KOF '98 soundtrack.

277.You are outside on a stormy night standing near a tree hoping that one bolt of lightning will burn the sucker right down the middle.

278.You want to be buried in an MVS arcade box.

279.You take your Neo Geo Pocket with you to church.

280.You lay all of your favorite carts and CDs on your bed, kiss each one, cover them with a blanket, and then go to sleep on the floor.

281.You holler like Clark everytime you carry something heavy.

282.You try to stuff Mount Fuji in your pants like Goro Daimon.

283.You think the Ikari Warriors actually exist in a real millitary.

284.You have actually written a script for the KOF movie and have worked out the whole cast.

285.You have an Orochi-tainted other self.

286.You live in fear that Heidern will come and kill you, due to the fact you know where his secret miltiary base is.

287.You've seen the 'NOW LOADING' monkey drop the balls.

288.Your Neo Geo is your lover.

289.You can never spell "showdown" correctly; for some strange reason, always "shodown".

290.You know what "Pro Gear Spec" means.

291.You think it's acceptable to walk the street in your underwear like Joe Higashi.

292.When watching a baseball game and the hitter punches the pitcher you shout "Hit must hurt...I wonder if he's alright!"

293.You try to break bottles with your hands.

294.At boxing matches you look for a guy with red and white flags.

295.You hate monkeys.

296.You have a backup generator for your Neo Geo in case of a power outage.

297.You imagine all the Fatal Fury caps Terry must keep in his bag.

298.While friends around you speak of football, you speak of Brian Battler's close call win over Yuri Sakazaki.

299.You sit cross-legged in front of a tree, eagerly awaiting a lightning flash so you can slice the tree in two, just like in the opening of Samurai Shodown.

300.Your girlfriend, whose name is Karen, responds when you call out "Mai."

301.You take any and all excuses to wear an eyepatch so you can be just like Yagyu Jubei.

302.You hang around your local arcade and beat the living daylights out of anyone who plays Samurai Shodown with Jubei and fails to finish it. Then you continue their game and play it through so Jubei will not be dishonored.

303.You have absolutely no idea why in hell you get a "straight bonus" when playing as King or Benimaru.

304.You actually tried pitting every character in KOF 98 against every other character just to see all the different possible starting animations.

305.You sold off your Dreamcast so you could raise money to buy new Neo Geo carts.

306.You insult others with intimidating names such as "weenie king" and "dweebenheimer".

307.When you get upset, you point your finger at another and yell, "hey-Hey-HEY!!!"

308.You look at every member of every team in Football Frenzy to try to find Brian Battler.

309.You just KNOW there's a code to play as Ralf and Clark in the Metal Slug games...

310.You wish YOU were on the receiving "end" of Yuri's infamous "butt move"...

311.When you fight against Mai and your girlfriend enters the room, you try to end the match as fast as possible (sometimes even hitting reset).

312.You succeed in playing a game with those great noisey joysticks WITHOUT waking up a family member sleeping upstairs!

313.You have a strange habit of saying "Number One!" frequently.

314.Because of your breeding, you cannot lose.

315.You pick up as many ponytail hitch hikers as possible in hopes of meeting Terry "The Lone Wolf" Bogard.

316.In a brawl, before you punch your opponent, you scream out "BURN NAKU!!!" or "BURN KNUCKLE," depending how crazed you are.

317.In a fight, you announce and give every move a name when you do them.

318.You cannot return to the "outside world" because sunlight hurts your eyes.

319.You sell a kidney to pay for a cartridge and then realize that you've made a glaring mistake ... you could have sold a lung too and gotten enough money for two cartridges!

320.You can punch-sculpt a stone column into your own image.

321.To distract your opponent, you tell them that their shadow is flashing. Then when they've let down their guard you hit them.

322.When asked to write an essay describing a person who has overcome a physical handicap, you type a 15 page paper describing how and why Yagyu Jubei is the best swordsman of them all, despite having only one eye.

323.You go on a totally blind date with a girl named Mai, for no other reason than the fact that she's named Mai, and you already have a girlfriend.

324.When somebody compares an SNK character to a Capcom character in a way that is not absolutely 100% in favor of SNK, you attempt to persuade them otherwise, resorting quickly to physical violence to get your point across.

325.You start and direct a letter campaign to Playboy demanding a "Girls of KOF" newsstand special.

326.The local arcades call you for repair help when things go wrong with their MVS machines.

327.You put off going to college for one year so you can work and earn enough money to buy your very own MVS.

328.While playing a game of frisbee in the park with your little brother you try to throw it in such a way so that when he catches it he'll be thrown backwards into the soccer net.

329.You learned to drive by playing Thrash Rally.

330.You have the names of more than three Neo Geo games tattooed on your body.

331.You fear not death, struggle to triumph over evil, and live for one purpose: to destroy all enemies!

332.You consider having plastic surgery in order to make yourself look more like the Neo Geo happy face logo.

333.Your parents have started actively looking for an organization called "Neo Geo Players Anonymous".

334.You point, yell "Go!" and expect your dog to run off and attack.

335.Your house catches fire and the first thing you run to save is your Neo Geo.

336.The juggling monkey is burned into your screen... AND your retinas.

337.You'd be willing to sell your soul for the latest cart, or on a less desperate day, two carts.

338.You're able to carry on a meaningful conversation using nothing but quotes from Neo Geo games, in any of four languages of course.

339.You take a Kendo or fencing class for the sole purpose of coming to a better understanding of your favorite Samurai Shodown character.

340.Your girlfriend is jealous of the Neo Geo.

341.You're one big nasty demon, you.

342.If you were a background character in a fighting game, the first thing you'd do after a fight is over is help the loser ...Unless it's Robert, then you'd steal his shoes first. Man, those are cool shoes...

343.You think that Geese Howard can survive numerous falls from buildings because he uses his baggy pants as a parachute.

344.Your philosophy in life is "He who dies with the most megs wins."

345.You wonder why Chun Li's chest is stationary.

346.You bring your Dolby Pro-Logic amp with 5 speakers to your local arcade and plug it into the MVS cabinet via the headphone jack so that you can listen to it full blast while playing Metal Slug.

347.You watch a RAMBO film and when he picks up a machine gun, you shout out "Heavy Machine Gun!"

348.You spend over $10,000 on a large Sony flat screen TV just to play your Neo on it, but then a week later the Monkey burns the screen out.

349.You play your Neo Geo while you're driving.

350.You get your girl friend to have breast implants so that she can dress up like Mai.

351.You carry a sign around that says "Will work for Neo Geo games"...
and when somebody offers to pay you with another system's games you beat them into unconsciousness with that same sign.

352.You think that trading your soul for a Fatal Fury: Wild Ambition arcade machine would be a real rip off... for the other guy.

353.You put your Neo Geo system and the games away in a safe after each time you finish playing.

354.You believe that YOU and only you are the perfect person to play a character in the KOF Movie.

355.You write the KOF play and get all of your friends to perform in it. Whether they like it or not.

356.You've actually learned, by means mechanical or supernatural, to leave a trail of flames with every punch you throw.

357.The voice acting in Magician Lord doesn't bother you at all.

358.You snicker at the thought that once your friends see your copy of Metal Slug 1 or 2, they'll want to burn all copies of any PlayStation Contra ever made.

359.You continually try to get on the phone with Sylvester Stallone and Dolph Lundren at the same time to propose they play Ralf and Clark in your "Ikari Warriors: Victory Road" movie.

360.When in a room with several attractive women, you throw an apple into the air, slice it into several pieces, start coughing, and expect them all to want to marry you.

361.You can repeat and understand ALL of the lyrics to Duck King's song in Real Bout.

362.You play your cart system while waiting for your CD system to load.

363.You sometimes wish the world WAS only 2D, so that those 3D-only reviewers would stop complaining about the Neo Geo's graphics.

364.You are constantly trying to flip and catch a coin without looking.

365.Whenever you wear nice clothes, you look in the mirror and say "Yosshaa!"

366.You want your licence plate to say "GEESE".

367.You are disappionted when a fighting game has less than 38 characters.

368.You wonder why Geese Howard shows off that Rolex so much in the original Fatal Fury.

369.You have a brother named Ryo, a younger sister named Yuri, and a dad named Takuma. Well not really, you just call them that and it's scaring them!

370.You begin to believe that somewhere in this world there's an Orochi version of yourself.

371.You wish you could do Ralf and Clark's special moves, supers, and grabs in the original Ikari Warriors game.

372.You make fun of Russian men named Yuri.

373.You've made your own version of the Psycho Soldier song.

374.Since all of the other KOF girls seem to be taken, you consider that a date with Chizuru Kagura wouldn't be that bad at all. I mean, all you have to worry about is being killed by Orochi. Could be worth the risk.

375.You break your hand trying that freaking Power Geyser.

376.You make your girlfriend a Mai Shiranui outfit and actually expect it to fit.

377.You are the high bidder on more than half the Neo Geo games on eBay.

378.You find yourself saying "This arcade sucks, there's no Neo Geo."

379.Every time you see a barrel of fish or apples you feel compelled to grab a sword and slash it open.

380.If you ever witness a real fight you like to stand in the background and make the same cheering motions over and over again.

381.You try to make your PSX-owning friends forget about shooters like Raystorm and G-Darius by showing them Pulstar, and get a strange thrill when they admit it's 'pretty cool'.

382.You want to grow your hair long, dye it blue, wear blue skirt-like pants, act like you're sick, and run away from kimono-clad admirers.

383.You threaten someone by saying you'll go Orochi on them.

384.You think Magician Lord has a very insightful and well-written storyline.

385.You and your friends refer to each other by your respective KOF names.

386.You fail an algebra test and say, "I receive the poor grade in all of the math class."

387.You're on trial for some minor offense. Just when the judge is about to let you off with a warning you stand up and yell, "All creature will die and all of the things will be broken. That the law of the samurai!"

388.You've written stories that merge the Orochi with Samurai Shodown.

389.You don't understand why the U.S. Airforce has not yet employed two planes in a world conquest mission.

390.You start writing a DNA genetic thesis to prove that looks cannot be inherited by using Mai Shiranui and Gen-an Shiranui as your test examples.

391.Conversations in your family consist of the witty pre-fight dialogue from Art of Fighting 2.

392.You've declared Sony to be the Anti-Christ because they're not putting enough 2-D capabilities into the PSX2.

393.You describe things in real life in terms of how animated they are and whether or not they use background scaling to it's fullest potential.

394.You think SNK should sue the creators of The Matrix. After all, the hero is named Neo AND there's a character named Choi in it. People don't even get you started about the martial arts scene halfway through the movie.

395.You divorced your spouse because she/he didn't want children with names like Geese, Wolfgang, and Rugal.

396.You find yourself humming that infamous Geo logo music at the most inoportune times!

397.You've given up trying to be like Kyo and leave flame trails, so instead you're trying to be like Shingo and not leave them.

398.The *only* reason you'd want a 3D King of Fighters would be to see Mai's breasts move in 60 frames per second. (And you hope for a slow-motion replay.)

399.You wish you could go to the same school as Kyo, Benimaru, Athena, Sie, and Shingo.

400.When your friends say you don't like 3D games you reply, "Hey, I like Fatal Fury: Wild Ambition, don't I?"

401.When you laugh, you laugh like Iori.

402.You were born in Spain, grew up in Mexico, spent many years in Japan, and speak fluent English.

403.You consider pre-Neo Geo SNK games like Ikari Warriors and P.O.W. to be valuable antiques. Heck, you consider recent Neo Geo games like Blazing Star and Metal Slug 2 to be valuable antiques.

404.You call your boss Geese.

405.Your girlfriend didn't show for a date. It can't be because she hates your obsession, so OBVIOUSLY she didn't come because she was abducted by Amakusa who was a pawn of the Orochi who now inhabits Shermie who convinced Benimaru to convince Kyo to get a job with Mr. Big so they can open up the damned seal and free the dark powers that were kept in check by Chizuru but were initially sealed by Ralph and Clark in Ikari Warriors II: Victory Road; so the only way to find her is to alert Heidern and Leona and assemble a strike force of all of your friends to destroy the place where you work. (Your boss always DID remind you of Geese Howard.) No, she COULDN'T have ditched you because you play too much Neo Geo.

406.You mimic the voice of Brian Battler, Billy Kane, or Ralf for an entire day.

407.You put Iori, Benimaru, and Joe on the same team in KOF and dub them the "bad hair" team.

408.You've never seen sunlight since you bought your Neo Geo.

409.Your neighbors had a restraining order put on you because you refuse to wear anything other than your Joe Higashi costume.

410.You put "Absolute Kyokugen" on your job application as one of your qualifications but didn't get the job.

411.You legally married your Neo Geo.

412.You're an English major and see absolutely nothing wrong with any of SNK's translations.

413.You have over 15 different SNK and Neo Geo based themes on your computer (most of which you made yourself).

414.You don't think Yashiro has ego problems; you just think it's self-esteem.

415.You rip all the sleeves off of any red jackets you own.

416.You end up in the hospital from an unfortunate accident after tying a belt around your knees.

417.You'd like to see Kyo and Iori finally end their feud on Jerry Springer.

418.You wonder why construction workers need to use cranes and explosives to destroy buildings.

419.N64 and Dreamcast controllers are too much for you to handle. The idea of more than one direction control is too overwhelming.

420.You finally give in to believing that Mai's outfit is perfectly suitible for "containing" her.

421.You have all the Neo Geo systems with all the games and you still wonder why you are in debt.

422.The US thinks that you are giving too much money to Japan by having an interest in Neo Geo.

423.You grow to hate Game Boy just because SNK made their own portable.

424.You lose a spelling bee for spelling 'victory' with an L, so you yell, "YOU ANGER THE NEO-GEO GODS!!!"

425.You think 3-D gaming is nothing but a pipe dream.

426.You nearly throw up after playing Killer Instinct for the first time.

427.You tell your children to look up to Andy Bogard and Joe Higashi as role models.

428.You keep waiting for your rechargable batteries to charge so you can finally beat KOF R-2 on hard mode with one hand tied behind your back. You would beat it on hard with both hands, but you've done that too many times already...

429.You and all your friends are dressing like your favorite KOF characters this Halloween.

430.When on the go, you use your Neo Geo Pocket's clock to tell the time instead of wearing a watch.

431.You talk to your Neo Geo. (i.e. "Good Neo Geo. Thank you for loading that. Thank you Neo Geo...")

432.You completely believe everything your Neo Geo Pocket horoscope says.

433.Once elected to the Senate, you fully intend to pass a bill funding the assembly paramilitary commando unit codenamed "Ikari Warriors".

434.When people knock senior citizens, you have three words for them: TUNG...FU...RU!

435.You want to be a successful business man when you grow up... just like Geese Howard!

436.You sue at the damned SNK for receiving you the least mark in all of the English course by you school.

437.You hospitalized a Capcom executive with your Sonic Dive Kick move.

438.You don't THINK it would be painful to be knocked against the edge of the screen, you KNOW it's painful to be knocked against the edge of the screen.

439.You paint a red body outline on your mirror at night. The next morning you jump out of bed and pretend to be staring down your evil Orochi version.

440.You see everything in real life as the foreground plane and the background plane.

441.You beat Magician Lord... every day.

442.If you ever met a real person named Billy Kane, you'd kill them.

443.You name your boyfriend Andy and insist that the two of you are engaged.

444.You won't listen to Mozart's music because his first name is Wolfgang and it creeps you out.

445.You keep daydreaming of how great it'd be to hear Kim Kaphwan singing karaoke.

446.Out of desperate admiration for Haohmaru/Chin Gentsai, you become a compulsive sake drinker.

447.You've written an FAQ for a Neo Geo game that's over 100KB long.

448.You never heard of a portable game system until Neo Geo Pocket came out.

449.You scoff at the narration in Christmas NiGHTS even though the Saturn owners always tell you, "Look who's talking."

450.You automatically consider ANY mask with a big nose a tribute to Mr. Karate even if the museum-worthy piece was made over 200 years ago.

451.You dress your little sibling's Barbie dolls in Neo Geo characters' costumes. ("Hi, Mai! Wanna hop in my new Corvette?" "Sure, Andy!")

452.You become an avid fan of judo matches just because you hope to see Goro Daimon one day.

453.You've legally changed your last name to Bogard, Shiranui, Tachibana, Kusanagi or Yagami.

454.You put really really bouncy shocks in your car so it can jump like the tank in Metal Slug.

455.You've ever used a Neo Print only because it was an SNK product.

456.You go to your local Army recruiting office and leave, dissapointed that you can't find any information on joining the Ikari Warriors unit.

457.You call your cable company and ask how you can get the Satella News Network.

458.You boycott Lipton for revealing Hwa Jai's long-kept secret.

459.You buy KOF 98 for your cart, CD, and MVS systems so that none of your systems will feel left out.

460.You know how many frames are missing from the CD version of Last Blade 2.

461.Your Neo Geo and carts get stolen and you report it to the police as "grand theft".

462.You'd really, REALLY like to see Kyo and Iori vent out their frustrations on the Jerry Springer show.

463.When Geese Howard got thrown off the building... you cried.

464.You form a one-member Chin Gentsai fan club, hold a sake-drinking competition with yourself and suffer a car accident later from drunk driving.

465.You have found a logical explanation for Andy's refusal to marry Mai.

466.You think it would be worth being beaten up by Mai, if that were the only way to get close to her.

467.You think there aren't enough Kyos in KOF '99.

468.You fashion KOF sock puppets and use them to put on plays at the local children's hospital.

469.You keep looking for the game select button on any arcade machine you use.

470.You are the Orochi version of someone else.

471.You think Legend of Success Joe is the most realistic boxing game ever made.

472.Capcom's Final Fight has got nothing on Burning Fight as far as you're concerned.

473.The amount of team work and character development found in Ninja Combat astounds you.

474.You dress exactly like someone else in your high school and try to imitate his moves.

475.You refuse to use those strange "medium" attack buttons on Capcom games.

476.You go down to the hardware store and ask the guy there for instructions to construct a six-foot long cane which separates into three respective sections at will, and any person you poke with it instantly bursts into flames.

477.Computer opponents start letting you win just to get you out of their hair.

478.You wonder why companies like Nintendo, Sega, and Sony can stay in business when they sell their systems for a rediculously low price of around $200.

479.You can think of a completely logical way to fit characters from all the SNK series into one KOF game and still solve the time difference and arms problems in a matter of minutes.

480.You don't know what RPG stands for.

481.You get sick and stop playing as Ukyo for a while.

482.You formed a hate group against 3-D fighting games.

483.The local arcade owner had you arrested for putting a sledge hammer through the big screen Tekken 3 game.

484.You and your friends perform "Sacred Neo Rituals" around a pile of burning PlayStations.

485.When your parents tell you to do chores you use the excuse, "I can't now; I have to charge up my spirit meter more."

486.People have actually gotten weaker just from you taunting them.

487.You wish you could be as happy about life as Joe Higashi.

488.You think Hwa Jai has a lot of potential as a character.

489.You start a street gang based around ducks.

490.You think anyone who prefers NBA Jam over Street Slam is crazy.

491.In your business, getting thrown off a building is just a minor setback.

492.You wonder why no one made a Legend of Success Joe 2.

493.You sit in a rocking chair and lecture five-year-olds about the evils of 3-D gaming.

494.When there's a full moon you put on purple clothes and lurk in the shadows.

495.You bought the SNES version of Samurai Shodown purely for comic relief.

496.You beat Real Bout Fatal Fury on the hardest difficulty two or three times before you realize you forgot to turn on the TV.

497.You avoid people you don't like by dodging across the street, walking by them, then stepping back to to the first street.

498.When you're drunk you attempt to initiate Super Desperation Moves against people that make fun of you.

499.You think anyone who prefers FIFA soccer over Super Sidekicks has some mental problems.

500.You spend a minimum of 12 hours in neoalec.com Chat every day.

501.You fight a bully after school, and win. You're weirded out when the crowd around you doesn't start moving abnormally fast.

502.Your eyeballs have the Neo Geo logo on them.

503.You have a Neo Geo tattoo.

504.The only thing you can say is "Neo Geo."

505.You get your monthly paycheck of $200. You buy a Neo Geo game and then you are starving.

506.Whenever you give someone a present, it's always a Neo Geo system.

507.You open your own store that sells nothing buy Neo Geo.

508.You think the next KOF game should have a team with Hwa Jai, Michael Max, and Richard Meyer.

509.You have a distinctive outfit that you ALWAYS wear.

510.You spend the time you're not playing Neo Geo at neoalec.com.

511.You throw a bowling ball just like Geese does a Reppu-Ken.

512.You think that wearing Kyo or Terry's gloves will enable you to throw flames or Power Waves.

513.You've actually found a way to perform a Rising Tackle in real life.

514.You get haunted by the ghost of Geese Howard's past around Christmas time.

515.When telling people about a fight you were in, you always refer to it as either a "Kizuna Encounter" or a "Real Bout".

516.You refer to the PSX, Saturn, and N64 as "lesser systems".

517.You FINALLY figure out how to do the Power Geyser, but you blow yourself 100 ft. into the air... Your death is written off as an accident with a homemade bomb.

518.You find it well within the laws of physics that any object can be avoided by rolling across the ground.

519.If you cross the street and a car is sceeching towards you. You stand and face it in a blocking position knowing that the worst that can happen is you get ticked back a bit.

520.Your voice changes every year, just like Athena's.

521.You have a distinctive outfit, available in four different colors.

522.You automatically assume that when your doctor says you have bloodtype O, he means Orochi.

523.You have a very large collection of Neo Geo cases and manuals for games that you do not own.

524.Someone points a gun at you and you confidently turn sideways, knowing full well that the bullets will now just harmlessly pass you by.

525.You consider demons breaking free of their seals a plausible and commonplace event.

526.Your doctor gave you a prescription for 3-D glasses.

527.You wear latex hospital gloves whenever you play your Neo Geo.

528.You avoid being nasty to your grandpa because you fear that he might grow huge muscles and kick your ass.

529.You call combos "rushes".

530.You expect your pet parrot to be able to carry you.

531.You cannot bring yourself to execute suicides in SS4, even though you are severely losing and it's the first round, because you always faint when you see your beloved character die.

532.When you go bowling, you're surprised that the pins don't scream "NOOOOOOOOoooooo!!" right before they are knocked down.

533.You committed a love suicide when your Neo Geo stopped working.

534.You keep two Neo Geos close together so they won't get lonely.

535.You spend hours at the computer trying to think of something witty to post here.

536.You mistake Freddy from Nightmare on Elm Street for Choi Bounge.

537.You take a huge basket full of turtles with you whenever you go fishing.

538.You dye your hair blond and think you are "awakened".

539.You take the Neo Geo Quiz and wish that tests in school were that easy.

540.You've nearly gotten in three traffic accidents because of playing your Neo Geo Pocket while driving.

541.You were banned from your arcade because you never allowed anyone else to play their MVS.

542.You adopt two blonde children and teach them all you know about martial arts in hope that they will some day avenge your death, if needed.

543.You have all the inter-stage dialogues from Legend of Success Joe memorized.

544.You take a good laugh when you hear the sound effects from KOF on PSX.

545.You have a small shrine dedicated to Orochi hidden in your basement.

546.You refuse to acknowlege the loss of the new face team and lock yourself in your room as you repeatedly chant "Orochi.."

547.You get a nosebleed and think that you're changing into your Orochi form.

548.You get in a fight at school and wonder why the teacher stopped you instead of cheering you on from the side lines.

549.You have an MVS in your bathroom despite the fact that you now don't have room for a toilet.

550.You own a Neo Geo Pocket in one of each color.

551.You had to take a fourth job.

552.You bought a PlayStation only because of Fatal Fury Wild Ambition.

553.You had to build a new addition to your house in order to store all your Neo Geo stuff.

554.You have a Neo Geo Pocket Color hidden at school/work.

555.You vow to kill your lifelong nemesis who has an exactly opposite outfit and personality, but strangely the same moves...

556.You think someone punching you in the middle of your taunt is UNFORGIVABLE!!!

557.It takes you at least 3 seconds to say the two U's in "Fu'un-ken".

558.In a real fight you walk away from your opponent only to be stopped by a strange force which you know is 'the edge of the screen'.

559.When you get in a fight with someone a ghostly voice shouts "Fight!" from nowhere.

560.You want Big Bear and Raiden to appear in the WWF because you know they aren't fake.

561.You buy a Dreamcast to connect to your Neo Geo Pocket thinking the Dreamcast is just an accessory for the Neo Geo Pocket.

562.You pull your pants down in the middle of work/school in order to taunt someone.

563.You stuff pillows in your pants and change your name to Dandy-J.

564.You wish today's sci-fi movies were as well-written as the Cyber-Lip plot.

565.You title your "How I spent my summer vacation" essay 'Legend of Success (your name here)'.

566.You slice and kill to survive.

567.You blast Mozart's Requiem really loud whenever you fight someone.

568.You're supposed to be studying for a major test at the exact second you're reading this.

569.When you walk into the Electronics Boutique, the guy behind the counter automatically hands you the newest NGPC title out of habit.

570.You get a birthday card every year from the SNK board of directors.

571.You've developed plans for a real Metal Slug tank (just in case...)

572.You get arthritis in both hands at age 17.

573.You only use the four buttons on the front of the Dreamcast controller and wonder what the heck the other two butions on top are for.

574.You only play SNK characters in SNK vs Capcom: Match of the Millenium.

575.You've opened an arcade that only has MVS games.

576.You insist that every version of King of Fighters is completley different every year.

577.Every time you and your best friend see each other, you imitate Ralph and Clark's Power Ranger poses.

578.You've imagined yourself and some of your friends as fighters in the next KOF game.

579.You wonder why Kim doesn't wise up, dump Chang and Choi, and make a team for KOF 2000 with Jhun Khun, Hon-Fu, and Franco Bash.

580.You've wondered why Duck King doesn't team up with Richard Myer and Bob Wilson for the next KOF game (The Dancing Fighter Team?)

581.You pull off your earring, throw it at somebody, and expect to see an explosion (like Leona).

582.You join the military, and expect your first lesson to be Heidern assassination techniques.

583.You have artistic talent, so you actually draw yourself and some friends as a KOF team (I know I have!)

584.You've wondered why SNK claims that all the fighters from past KOF's have returned to fight in KOF '98, but you still don't see Orochi, Goenitz, or Eiji Kisaragi.

585.Every time you see a train pass by, you find yourself humming Terry Bogard's BGM from FF2 and FF2 special subconsciously.

586.You still wonder why Kim Kaphwan's attitude miraculously changed from arrogant in the original story of FF2 to Mr. Justice in the story of KOF '94.

587.Every time you look at Final Fight you think about what would actually be happening on screen were it on Neo Geo.

588.You plug your NGPC into a hi-fi system and force everyone (at gunpoint if necessary) to listen to every sound effect and BGM from KOF R-2.

589.You realize that if you die in a spectacular manner you will merely return next year, consumed with revenge!

590.You sit and watch the Samurai Shodown III opening over and over, thinking the animation is seamless.

591.You find it ironic that the Japanese classifier for counting thin, flat units is -mai, because you feel it's impossible for the words "flat" and "Mai" to occur in the same sentence.

592.You go around town all day looking for new/used/rental copies of KoF 95 for the PlayStation, buy them, then take them home and fry them all in your microwave, just because they aren't the "real thing".

593.Everytime you show someone your Neo Geo, you have to spend the next thirty minutes explaining what it is.

594. You open a sleazy club and call it the Pao Pao Cafe in hopes of attracting your favorite Fatal Fury characters.

595.Your friends are already sick of you gloating about how the controls in Marvel vs. Capcom 2 only use four attack buttons now.

596.You took a kickboxing class for the soul purpose of being more like Joe Higashi.

597.Whenever you go to the mall with friends they refer to you as Geese and follow you everywhere in formation.

598.You're trying to get your best friend a girlfriend for the sole purpose of having someone to cosplay Leona when you dress up as the Ikari Warriors.

599.You base your entire 'History of WWII' class research paper on the Metal Slug, Strikers 1945, and Ghost Pilots games.

600.Whenever someone says "chocolate rush" you assume they must mean they are going to beat up a Mars bar with a 7 hit combo.

601.You have no idea what a bokken is, but you know the English translations for every Kyokugenryu technique in existance.

602.Whenever you need to know where your sister is you go to the local bar and pick a fight with everyone.

603.You go to martial arts classes wearing saddle shoes, tight jeans, etc.

604.When SNK wants to investigate the market segmentation in your region they just call you.

605.You can't talk about music with your friends anymore because no one else wants the King of Fighters arranged soundtracks.

606.You think the intro to Fatal Fury 3 would make the best movie trailer ever.

607.You resent Jackie Chan for so blatantly ripping off Hon Fu's comedic repertoire.

608.Every year around Christmas you mail a large donation to the Garcia Foundation in hopes of getting a response from Karman Cole.

609.You have fun with the horoscope generator and alarm feature in your Neo Geo Pocket for several months before you consider buying an actual game for it.

610.You have a game running on your Neo Geo Pocket at the exact moment that you're reading this.

611.You have the National Enquirer run an exposé on whether or not Terry and Andy are actual brothers.

612.You want a specially hacked version of SNK vs. Capcom so that it only has SNK characters in it.

613.You've tried to get summer internships at places like Geese Tower, the Garcia Foundation, and the Pao Pao Café.

614.You find it ironic that Richard Meyer and Hwa Jai make more cameo appearances in the Fatal Fury games than they appear as playable characters.

615.You resent Wes Craven for completely ripping off Choi Bounge's '94-'95 costume to put in his Nightmare on Elm Street movies.

616.You know what "FFRBS EX Andy's QCB+C Gei-Hishoken" means.

617.You put a CDR of Neo Geo music in the best stereo system on display at Best Buy, set it to infinitely repeat, and abandon it.

618.You find out KOF isn't real.

619.You've already reached that lull of boredom you get every year when you've got no games to look forward to but the next installment in the King of Fighters series.

620.You set up elaborate dioramas with your Fatal Fury character keychains.

621.You don't have time for Neo Geo games anymore because you and your friends are too consumed with the KOF live action RPG.

622.You find yourself explaining to a Nintendo 64 fanatic what a "fighting" game is.

623.You go into a department store thinking you can find Mai's outfit for your girlfriend.

624.You write a complaint to Konami because the Metal Gear tank is too similar to the Metal Slug tank.

625.You've beaten every King of Fighters game without knowing there was such a thing as a fourth or fifth round.

626.You eat dry ice just so you can breathe smoke like Orochi Iori.

627.You think the Earth should be re-christened "Neo Geo".

628.You're working on a way to make the moon resemble the one in Genjuro's stage with the Neo Geo logo on it.

629.You held a moment of silence when you heard that SNK of America will be shut down.

630.You're wary of drinking anything made by a company named "Wyler's"... or buying gas from a station called "Sinclair".

631.You have a graveyard behind your house of people who insulted the Neo Geo.

632.You start to experience gender confusion after playing Neo Mr. Do!

633.You think it's okay to go for six years wearing the same jacket and cap.

634.When the arcade has a problem with its Neo Geo machine they shine a big shearchlight with the Neo Geo logo on it and you come to the rescue!

635.In a toy shop you pick up a toy gun and scream, "Heavy machine gun!!!"

636.You believe that Ryu Saeba from Burning Fight can kick Ryu from Street Fighter's butt!

637.You wonder why Ralf and Clark were originally called Vince and Paul.

638.You wish that Major League Baseball players were like the ones in Baseball Stars.

639.You imagine that you are in Riding Hero when you ride your motorcycle.

640.You think that Ryu, Duke and Billy from Burning Fight could take down the Mad Gear Gang in Final Fight faster than Guy, Cody and Haggar.

641.You made up names for the players in Mutation Nation.

642.You wonder what if Roy the Super Spy wasn't so super?

643.You know for a fact that Robert and Yuri have been getting it on!

644.You wonder what the hell is Andy's problem with Mai since Robert and Yuri are getting it on with no problem!

645.You wonder how many tapes of Geese and Krauser that Rugal watched in order to rip off their moves.

646.You force your friend to act as a striker in a fight.

647.When your little brother asks to borrow ANYTHING you respond in beautifully anti-structured language such as, "My killing you would be a not harm so sweet as to take the doves from the back front porch and end your forehead with a whisper!!!"

648.You continually refer to your own brain as your biomechanical 68000.

649.You dressed up as Elta for Halloween.

650.You claim that Kim Kap Hwan was your Tae Kwon Do teacher.

651.You claim to be Kim Kap Hwan.

652.You ARE Kim Kap Hwan. (Not really, but legally, that's your name.)

653.You've covered every square inch of wall in your house with posters from Neo Geo Freak magazine.

654.You make SNK's professional play-testers look bad in a match.

655.You wish Capcom vs. SNK could have ratio 10 characters so that Goenitz, Orochi, and the Ikari Warriors could be in it.

656.You try stuffing your younger brother into a box and mailing him to Japan so he can become a martial arts master and avenge your death if need be.

657.You think Capcom vs. SNK would be a great game if it didn't have those stupid Capcom characters in it.

658.You want to renovate your house to make it look like Geese Tower.

659.You walk outside in what you consider normal street clothes and your friend asks which KOF character you're cosplaying.

660.You know the complete history of every real life person that the cast of Samurai Shodown was based on.

661.You loathe anime "Ninja Ressurrection" because of its portrayal of some of your favorite Samurai Shodown characters.

662.Your opponents may have speed and skill, but you have a big iron ball.

663.You and your friends dress like all of Geese Howard's lackeys at night and walk around town harassing people.

664.You don't know who to dress as for Halloween because you already dress like every KOF character on a daily basis.

665.You wander the streets smashing up vending machines etc. and collecting their contents.

666.You are now happily living in Neo Geo Land. All you remember about getting there is something about a Neo Geo, the police, and men in white coats.

667.You find yourself posing and saying Benimaru's quotes while in the shower.

668.You eagerly await your invitation to the King of Fighters Tournament.

669.You have strapped a vulcan cannon to the side of a camel or elephant like you saw in Metal Slug 3.

670.You spend your free time working on the Metal Slug, Slug Plane and Slug Copter that you've been building in your basement.

671.You approach dirty long-haired men to ask them for ammunition and goods.

672.You immediately fall into deep sleep when playing Street Fighter 2 on SNES.

673.You have a rage gauge animation before you explode in anger, during which no one can touch you.

674.You glue a bunch of scissors into a makeshift glove and laugh in a high-pitched squeal after cutting something.

675.You've noticed how Jubei's blindness switches to his other eye when he turns around and how Genjuro's scar is probably in the shape of an 'X' on his back.

676.Whenever you hand something to someone, you look the other way and draw it out of your "hand sheath."

677.When you leave a place in a hurry, you always disappear in a perfect little mushroom cloud and leave a log with a single leaf on it.

678.You failed U.S. history partly because you believed Texas and San Francisco existed during the time of Samurai Shodown. Well, they didn't.

679.When you mate in a chess game you say "ippon" rather than "checkmate."

680.You practice blowing smoke kanji while puffing on your favorite pipe.

681.You step on some food and see all of your wounds are healing.

682.You ruined your vision trying to "check out" Mai on Neo Geo Pocket games.

683.You nearly committed suicide when you heard SNK withdrew from the U.S. market.

684.You purposely lose to Mai every time you fight her because you think she might date you if she were real.

685.You have never used the pause button on ANY game because you want to keep the gameplay authentic.

686.You still wonder how you're supposed to hold that N64 controller, and are just shocked by the one for Game Cube.

687.Someone mentions Mortal Kombat in a discussion about GOOD fighting games and you start laughing. (Actually, you don't need to play too much Neo Geo to do that.)

688.You are asked to tell a scary story for Halloween so you tell the story of "The Orochi."

689.You cry when you see a little kid smashing the buttons of an MVS as hard as they can and consider it an act of cruelty.

690.You figured out there may actually be a storyline for Puzzle Bobble.

691.You wonder why bullets don't move slowly in real life.

692.You say "too easy" when you accomplish something.

693.You try to Tornado Uppercut in your kickboxing match.

694.You think you can win a football game with one play, just like in Football Frenzy.

695.In any game you can tell how many on-screen colors the Neo Geo is displaying at a given moment.

696.You hang around all the local Capcom vs. SNK machines just to beat anyone who would dare use a Capcom character on their team. After defeating them, you force them at knife point to get good with the SNK characters.

697.You refuse a friend's help during a fight in school, later explaining that you were out of striker points.

698.You spend a fortune on a large bird from a pet shop, name it "Mamaha", and wonder why it refuses to help you out in a fight with your worst enemy from school (or refuses to carry you in the air by its talons).

699.You wonder why people doubt your sexuality when you walk around the streets with your hair dyed bright pink in a pony tail, with a pink kimono around your waist.

700.All your base are belong to SNK.